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Satire and spoof news, plus humorous and dark short stories from UK writer Tim Neill
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I am the original Punk Krow Poet: writer, philosopher, anarchist
Streets flood with ejaculate as Premier League return announced 
‘The Archers Now To Be Broadcast Telepathically, Beamed Directly Into Listeners’ Brains’ 
No Change for Rock Festival As Entire Audience Is ‘Completely Spaced Out’ 
Hong Kong protestors considering inviting Dominic Cummings for visit so people might start giving a shit about them again 
Scientist admits that in 3 months of modelling he’s only made two WW2 aircraft 
Starbucks serves 2 million coughees on first day 
EasyJet plans to save money by asking passengers,”Can any of you fly a plane?” 
City of Durham told to self-isolate for 14-days as ‘test and trace’ system launched in UK 
How America Cursed Itself With Slavery 
Democrats Would Rather Vote For Jack the Ripper Than Trump 
Twitter: “Don’t Believe a Word That President Trump Writes” 
Xi Jinping Congratulates Chinese Virus on Job Well Done 
Men happy to avoid talking to barbers 
Five things your partner’s distant stare could mean 
People to ‘Clap For Cummings’ 250 miles outside their front door 
Our 14 favourite funny and scathing takes on the lockdown 
Priests with water pistols is the pandemic trend nobody expected 
Disappearing cat trick of the week 
This woman went deep undercover to stay on her ex-boyfriend’s Netflix and it’s next level stuff 
The only 5 reactions you need to Trump’s plans to muzzle Twitter 
Teeth an endless, expensive ball-ache 
A day in the busy life of Boris Johnson 
Wasps hold conservatory for third day 
BBC announces plan to ensure Newsnight impartiality by replacing Emily Maitlis with Mark Francois 
Double Standard 
Death on the beach 
You can believe what you want but it doesn’t make it the truth 
Footage of Michael Gove going for a drive emerges 
EU Directive Will Force Europeans to Eat Insects For Protein 
Cummings and Goings: the DC diary 
David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test 
Cummings reveals he was attending Durham Pizza Express 
Dominic Cummings appears on TV to tell plebs to f*** off in person 
Travelling 250 miles to avoid taking care of child unsurprisingly fine with Boris Johnson 
Cuckoos in the nest 
Lazy Left-y loser teachers MUST die! 
Lockdown haircutting kit sells out in just 40 minutes 
SWANSEA: Family visiting beach angry at other family for visiting beach 
easyJet to provide unisex ‘air nappies’ on all flights from June 15 
"It's not the same!" Fans object to Serie A return without racism 
Vampire Jesus 
Trump reveals he gargles with WD-40 ‘for extra protection’ 
Spoken Word Saturday 
My Rage Will Set Me Free! 
Gareth Bale still can't speak Welsh after 30 years of being Welsh 
Coronavirus lockdown: Trump gives OK for blind barbers to re-open 
Locking Down Crime 
Muhammad Ali latest to announce boxing comeback 
SWANSEA: Special lane for mobile homes to be introduced on Severn Bridge which will divert holidaymakers straight back to where they came from 
Seven lucky fans given free tickets to attend UFC 249 
Turkish supplier has ‘no idea’ why UK rejected 400,00 surgical gowns 
Covid-19 Anonymous 
as i purge my soul. 
SWANSEA: “You can take our parents, but you‘ll never take our Zinger Burgers!” Swansea tells coronavirus in Braveheart type cry