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YAP Collective by Sebbie Mudhai - 10M ago

Is there someone you feel you may be attached to, be it an old friend, a platonic toxic relationship, a family member who continues to hurt you or someone you may  e romantically involved in, that you no longer wish to be aligned with?

Find a quite place. Take a deep breath, and take another, then another. We cannot control how others treat us, or how they may make us feel. But we decided what grows and what goes.

Say this aloud: 

“Dear God/Universe/Spirit Guides, I call upon you to help me heal, let go, and cut any etheric cords that are no longer serving my higher purpose. I ask that all cords attached to me that are not aligned with love, light and positive attention be released. Help me to release them and surround me with a healing light to protect me from future attachments.

Thank You.”

 

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YAP Collective by Sebbie Mudhai - 11M ago

We have all experienced relationships. It doesn’t mean a committed partner but a friend, a family member, anybody who you are close to is a person with whom you have a relationship with.

There can be expectations we uphold when we engage with people are closest with, but what I’ve learned is that love is not an easy ride.

Here is a list of 7 things love will teach you:

1. Expect nothing:

  • Love is not self-seeking. It does not give to receive, it gives because giving makes you genuinely happy. When you have genuine love for someone, you can give without NEEDING/EXPECTING anything in return because you suffer no loss.

2. It is okay to not be okay

  • There is no need to always “be strong” or “be good.” You are allowed to be sad or upset. But there is no need to bask in these emotions. Find the reason behind these emotions, below the surface. And work it out.

3. It’s OKAY to want time to yourself 

  • It’s natural to want or need time to yourself. Being in a relationship does not mean you lose all freedom and personal space. It’s okay to take a couple of days (or as long as you need) to be alone.

4. Communication won’t always be easy, but it’ll be worth it.

  • Communication in relationships is key. It’s never been easy and with the “wrong person,” the situation doesn’t always get resolved. Black love is understanding. It is the comfort or explanation you may need to settle uneasy emotions. It’s also the reality check you need to remind you that your insecurities ain’t shit and that the devil is a lie.

5. Check your jealousy at the door:

  • Before you feel the need to go through your partner's phone or if your heart starts jumping out of your chest when your partner talks to another person...ask yourself. WHY?
  • Why do I feel threatened? Why does my partner interacting with another person make me feel this way? Why do I feel the need to go through this phone? What am I expecting to find?
  • If you feel the need to do these things, you need to check out what YOU have going on internally. Why do you feel as if you aren’t  worthy enough of a loyal partner? Why are you with a person that makes you feel they would even give that kind of attention to another person? Or why can’t this person talk with other people? Are they not allowed the freedom to have their friends and privacy?
  • Love is not being confined to another, it is non-possessive, it is truth.

6. Love is an unspoken understanding; a soul contract. A title is just that; a title.

  • There is no need to stress about the title. If you are literally stressing about whether or not your love interest is “yours” let me just tell you this, don’t. If you need a title to make you feel better about giving love to another person, then you are either not ready to be giving yourself to another or you know they are not. Now, I’m not saying that there is something wrong with calling someone your boyfriend or girlfriend. I’m saying the obsession with ownership or needing it to feel as if that someone loves you is. If someone is not secure with who they are or not ready for loving a title will not stop them from doing what they want to do. There is no need to force a title or stipulations on another person. Let things flow. Don’t overthink it. 

7. Be present

  • I know that it’s so easy to get wrapped up in looking into the future and thinking about “where is this going” or in the past and wondering if this one is like the other ones. But the only moment that exists is NOW. If you don’t feel good about it now, then don’t hope to feel better about it in the future. If it does feel good now, stop thinking about where it went wrong in the past. Leave that energy where it belongs, in the trash. Be present, think about how your relationship is serving you NOW. If it is bringing you the right energy, let yourself be happy. You deserve it. If is not, then you deserve to leave.
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London Pride takes place today, and thousands of people will be taking to the streets to celebrate LGBTQ+. But when celebrating gay pride, there’s a group of people who are often marginalised and made to feel like outcasts at these events.   Attending an event that isn’t whitewashed and only caters to a particularly community is important for those from Asian and Black backgrounds. Many have not even come out yet, and it’s a place where LGBTQ++ people can go and see thousands of people who share their culture, who look just like them, and who show them that being gay is OK. There’s a community of people who don’t know that there’s a whole heap of queers out there ready to connect with each other and feel free to be their best selves.

Queer people of colour have to face both racism and homophobia. Even at White People Pride which happens the day before, every year there are incidents of racism and it’s not fair. It’s up to us to realise just how important Black Pride is and to show support .

We’ll see you there! 

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YAP Collective by Sebbie Mudhai - 1y ago

There seems to have been a new phrase that has popped up on social media, especially on Twitter, that has gone viral. It takes intimate situations and turns them into a something platonic adding "as friends”. Basically, it’s another phrase for friends with benefits that is not just exclusive to sexual benefits but rather the benefits of being in a relationship as a whole. The majority of those engaging with "as friends" is young black people, who seem to be averse to getting into relationships and would rather be involved intimidatory and romantically with someone without adding a title. Some women are happy to remain unmarried, given their uncertainties about the permanency of marriage or their desire to concentrate on their professional lives. We’ve seen how many young black businesses are being founded in our generation compared to that of those before, and so maybe we don’t a relationship to jeopardise our personal success.

There is also interpersonal trust. The black family unit stereotype is unfortunately a very real one, and we have grown up seeing single parent households as the norm, and seen the people we love suffer in the name of love more than those who belong to other races. Black women’s distrust of men and their doubts of men’s commitment to family life have made us want to keep our partners hidden and not "expose” our relationships just in case it falls apart, it’s unfortunate.

In addition to this, those of us who were born of oppression have a spirit of independence and a sense of personal rights that were forced on us out of the necessity for coping with persistent inequality and persecution which may have a negative impact on romantic relationships between black men and women.

I will let you know now that this ain’t it, y’all. It’s simply irresponsible to have all the perks of a relationship and calling it a friendship. The best way to begin a fruitful relationship with anyone is a friend, but mixing that up and not setting clear boundaries can only lead to a disaster. At some point, feelings WILL get involved, jealousy WILL crop up and eventually a good relationship will be destroyed and two people who liked each other will never speak amicably again.

Dating is not a hard game. You take your time to meet different people and socialise with different types to get to know what you don’t want. Then, one day, you’re dating someone who God has picked out for you and it’s happily ever after. 

But, we all know that’s not how it goes. Sometimes, dating even feels like a torturous process and you end up feeling you’ll be forever alone whenever the person you’re seeing messes up. Or, it’s our own ego that gets in the way of something good. 

Male ego 

Focusses on looks. You’ve a got a girl who looks good. Hair laid, nails done, skin clear and body healthy.  A very attractive female on your arm automatically raises your status in society and in your social groups. Men are shaking your hand and telling you "nice one, bro." Girls wonder what she has that they don’t and you start to feel good about her (then you take her for eediat, but that’s for another day). The question is, are you actually attracted to her, or her appearance? That is not to say that men aren’t interested in health, wealth and fertility, but it is to say that an objectively beautiful woman who takes care of her appearance will attract you initially even if her personality isn’t great.

Female ego

When it comes to women, our ego tends to be focussed on status, which is closely tied to security. We want to know that a man is working hard and making coin. Sure, the female ego appreciate looks as well – especially nowadays – however looks can be extremely relative to some girls if he has a high paying job or is a successful entrepreneur. We’ve been raised by society to see marriage as an accolade, ‘love is important’, but to make sure that a guy has a certain ‘look’, status, or other superficial boxes checked off first .

Male and female egos share an equal need for that I’d say is much stronger than the physical and status-driven attributes I’ve listed above: validation. It feels good to us when someone else likes us, when someone else is attracted to us – especially when we value the looks and or status of that someone – and both men and women get this validation though sex and relationships. The looks, status, and validation all cause many men and women to stay in relationships even if their ‘significant other’ treats them like crap because they’d rather deal with that misery than to lose their validation or status symbol.

Why does this matter? Easy, if you base your dating life on satisfying this ego you’ll always be unhappy. When you get that validation you feel good for a moment, but then it’s only a matter of time before you feel empty again. And when you don’t get that validation you start to question yourself – “why didn’t that person like me, what did I do wrong”? You didn’t have real biological chemistry in the first place and you tried to force it to feed your never-satiated ego – that’s what you did wrong.

You need to make the decision to either continue to try and satisfy your ego by trying to attract any woman that meets your own standard of “she’s attractive enough to sleep with” – and women if he’s got enough money – or you can decide that you’ve gotten off of the roller coaster and want to find people that you have a real connection with. People that you want to date to marry. The choice is yours, just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Last month, I quit my job and decided that I wasn’t going to go back for working for someone else if it wasn’t in Marketing or PR. 

Just because ‘everyone has a retail job while studying’ doesn’t mean I have to follow the same route. I made the decision to start on my career right now and make a serious start on my blogging and marketing journey.

Is there something you’re putting off right now? You’re leaving it until later because that will be the “right time”? I’m telling you that the right time is most likely right now.

SET A FIRM DEADLINE

Give yourself a deadline for when you want to complete XYZ by. Write it down. Put it on your calendar. Set reminders on your iPhone. Schedule all your free time around your dream. Block out your early mornings, evenings and weekends for the next six months. If you’re serious, this is how it gets done. It’s the only way that “someday” will ever be more than a fairy tale.

CREATE EXTERNAL PRESSURE

Announce what you’re going to do so that you can be held accountable. Post it on your social media, so you’re likely to be reminded about the latest project you’re working on or the new clothing line you have coming out. Tell your friends and family about the vegan van you want to take around festivals.

If you haven’t made any progress, the external pressure will help you make a move on, out of embarrassment if anything! 

 MAKE ONE BIG MOVE

Instead of taking baby steps for nine years, you might get further faster by going ALL IN right now. Your One Big Move is the decision that, once you make it, there’s no turning back. Taking this leap will throw you into the deep end of the pool with the sharks. The guy I met in Hawaii made his One Big Move by literally moving. He sold all his stuff and moved to where he wanted to live with an idea and a plan. Your One Big Move might be quitting your job, leaving your partner, selling your house, entering into a formal business partnership with someone or any other decisions that force you to abandon the old life you keep saying you want to change.

How will you force yourself to pursue your goals this year?

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Quorn, Vivera and Stella McCartney’s do great at providing meat free substitutes for those who follow a plant-based diet, but these burgers are the best grocery store burger substitute I have ever tasted. In the Summer, when everyone’s inviting you to barbecues and you’re munching on salad and fries and you’re the butt of every joke, it’s easy to feel isolated from the rest of the party, and we just want to enjoy the BBQ like everyone else. Bring a pack of these, actually, bring a few and let your friends and family try- see who’s laughing then!

Where are they from? Iceland

How much are they?  £2

How many do you get?  2 patties

Allergens? Unfortunately, if you’re allergic to soya, these won’t be suitable for you.

Iceland are the first supermarket to bring out their own bleeding burger and they’ve set the bar very high. These burgers are a superior quality for a low price at £1 per patty and will have you going back for more!

Soya and sweet potato sandwich

 Warning: I sent a picture of this to my meat-eating potential and he saved it his camera roll saying it looked buff. So, this recipe may help you seize the bae and set up a lil lunch date. Then get married. And have kids. Thank you, Iceland.

Now, onto the review.  

Packaging 

The packaging is simply and stylish and I really like the transparent window that allows you to see what’s inside. The striking resemblance to a raw meat patty did alarm me a bit, but I reminded myself that no animals were harmed during the making of these delicious burgers. 

Cooking  

You can fry them, but I decided to put them in my fan oven for the recommended time (16-20 minutes). 

I like to make my own, but for these I bought sweet potato chunks from Iceland also and season them with aromat and black pepper and put them on a tray with the burgers. 

The burger did not need any seasoning at all, and actually looked really good when it was done. The patty is thick and packs an impressive 13g of protein, and doesn’t have that odd texture that a lot of meat subs have.  In fact, the texture is spot on and made me suspicious because of just how like a real patty it was! New vegetarians of vegans who are missing the texture and taste of meat will appreciate these, as it’s reminiscent of a classic quarter pounder. The colour of the burger comes from beetroot extract and adds to the impression of eating the real thing.

 Preparation 

Cooked burger

I served the burger on 2 slices of brioche loaf and buttered each slice with Vitalite spread.  I topped the patty with sweet potato chunks which complimented the softness of the patty perfectly and then topped it with parsley. I added ketchup but would say it would have been tastier with a sticky BBQ sauce. Put the sandwich on the grill for a couple of minutes and then served it on a plate with vegan coleslaw.

3 words to describe the taste

Succulent, tender, melt in the mouth. (Yes, that’s one word..)

 

I can’t wait to buy more and experiment with different recipes this Summer!


Rating: 9/10

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Founder of Shea Moisture, Richelieu Dennis of Shea Moisture haircare and skincare products has announced a fund of $100 million will be made available for women entrepreneurs of color, at the 2018 Essence Festival. In case you didn’t know, Dennis is the CEO and founder of Sundial Brands, which is the leading skin care and hair care manufacturer of brands Nubian Heritage, Nyakio, MCJW Beauty and the most widely known Shea Moisture.

About 6 months ago, Sundial announced that they were going to be launching the New Voices Fund, and applications are now open at their website.

 “New Voices Fund is a $100 Million Fund created to empower women of color entrepreneurs to reach their full potential. This groundbreaking initiative, designed to level the playing field, provides women of color entrepreneurs with unprecedented access, capital, and expertise they need to excel. This highly efficient fund supports start-ups, established businesses, and community-based enterprises. Our goal is to deliver unprecedented impact to our communities by ensuring New Voices of entrepreneurship learn, grow, and thrive for generations to come.”

The fund seeks to give an opportunity to black and minority ethnic females who are the most underrepresented and to be honest, invisible, demographic when it comes to start-up funds and investment opportunities. Starting a business is hard, but it’s even harder when you belong to this group, and so I’m very encouraged to see that Sundial Brands are dedicated to get new businesses off the ground.

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 People often struggle to manage their finances and end up spending more than they can afford.They make a lot of impulsive purchases and don’t keep track of their money, which can easily lead to problems down the line and compromise their financial health.

Managing money isn’t easy but with some commitment, it can be done.

  • They make a lot of impulsive purchases and don’t keep track of their money, which can easily lead to problems down the line and compromise their financial health.
  • Managing money isn’t easy but with some commitment, it can be done.

    Managing finances keep you aware of financial health and growth. Some people just keep spending and don’t maintain a good track record of their expenses, which can compromise their financial health.
  • Good management can help you stay away from debt and ensure your finances are healthy for the long-term. Avoiding debt isn’t as easy as it sounds and prioritizing expenses and keeping track of your credit card expenses can help.
  • Prioritising expenses can also help you save money for emergencies and retirement down the line. Saving money is an important aspect of managing finances as it will help keep your future secure.
  • Prioritising helps those with limited income some room for leisure expenses. If people are aware of their financial circumstances, they know how much they can spend on leisure expenses and don’t need to compromise on them entirely.
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YAP Collective by Sebbie Mudhai - 1y ago

Writinhs things down whether on paper, or online, to make my thoughts clear and to communicate my ideas to others, is what I’ve ale

There is a plethora of information online on how to run a successful blog. how to attract attention for yourself through writing good copy that’s SEO optimised, how to write attention grabbing headlines, what you should write about and how in order to position yourself as an expert, about giving value, how you should encourage engagement, how you should include images. Not to mention all the information about how blogging is dead, especially the personal blog, how no one has the attention span anymore and so forth.

Somehow all this abundance of information on how to do it ‘Right’ makes me not want to start. I start to over-think, over-plan, criticise each word when I do start writing (eg. I know saying ‘I start to’ is not good writing, I use too many superfluous words and too much passive language). Thinking about all these things blocks my flow. My inner rebel archetype also begrudges being told what to do.

As a coach, I feel like it’s been beaten into me that my blog must GIVE VALUE, GIVE VALUE, GIVE VALUE, be profound, change people’s lives, FIX, FIX, FIX.

Shhh, could you just quieten down with all that Value, please?

Maybe let’s not rush in to fix things or give value or optimise, maybe let’s just be human for a moment, let’s be gentle for a moment.

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The awesome people at kite.ly surveryed around 200 influencers across a variety of niches to learn how they generate revenue. “Respondents were hand-picked with no fewer than 10,000 followers on Instagram and/or Twitter, or a minimum of 185,000 subscribers on YouTube.”

You can get a download of the full report at this link, and you can see select findings from the report in the info graphic that they provided below.

The graphic lists the top 15 methods influencers use to monetize their positions, including speaking and guest appearances, consulting, and selling branded merchandise.

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