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Holding a grudge?

We’ve all felt hurt or betrayed by others. Sometimes, it can be hard to let go of the past.

When you hold a grudge, it weighs you down.

Try saying this out loud; “I’m holding a grudge.”

Notice how you feel after saying those words. For me, the words conjure up images of hanging onto something awful and heavy.

Are you ready to let go and move on?

Practicing forgiveness is one of the best ways to release past hurts.

Here’s a longer Guided Meditation on Forgiveness

Get fired up! Exciting news….

I’m working on a BRAND NEW 15 Day Meditation Challenge with longer meditations!

This Forgiveness Practice is a sneak peek at what’s coming your way in the next month. (aww yeaaaaahhh)

When I first heard about forgiveness meditation, I assumed I’d be forgiving the other person.

After all, they were the ones who’d hurt or wronged me, right?! (Ha! Naive little bunny on her moral high horse.) Well, I sure was surprised when the meditation included forgiving myself for the ways I may have hurt or wronged them. And the ways I may have hurt myself.

Forgiving yourself is deeply healing work.

At first, this wasn’t always easy to feel or acknowledge. But with practice, it helped tremendously.

Try it out for yourself now.

After you’ve listened to today’s guided meditation, we’d love to hear from you!

Do you struggle to forgive other people? Are there certain people from your past that you’re still hurt by? Leave a comment below the meditation and let us know.

May you create work and a life you love,

Vanessa

P.S. Have a friend or family member who’s struggling to let go of a past hurt? Forward this blog and meditation. They’ll thank you for it.

The post Holding a grudge? Try this forgiveness practice appeared first on Vanessa Loder.

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Originally Posted on Forbes. 

Burnout is defined as physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. As it turns out, there are ways to identify the early warning signs of burnout. And, there are many simple practices you can put in place immediately to prevent burnout from becoming an occupational hazard.​​

Here are 13 Early Signs of Burnout:

1. High levels of stress or anxiety. Feeling frequently on edge, with adrenaline constantly coursing through your body.

2. Lack of engagement. You don’t feel motivated at work. You have difficulty focusing or exhibit a short attention span.

3. Increased cynicism. Feelings of resentment or disconnection. You may notice yourself being more negative and cynical. Feeling cranky and defensive or snapping at people easily. You don’t make time to talk on the phone or connect with the people who matter most to you. If you’re feeling a lot of resentment towards others, chances are it’s because you’re not getting your needs met and you’re on the path to burnout.

4. Distracted eating. You eat your meals in front of a computer, television or while on the go (in the car, standing up, etc.)

5. Not getting enough sleep. The suggested minimum amount of sleep is seven to eight hours each night, if you’re getting less than this, you risk some level of burn out.

6. Low energy and exhaustion. You’re tired. Not just sleepy tired, but emotionally fatigued. You may feel exhausted by the end of the day, with no energy left to exercise or even engage with others, you just want to crash and watch television or zone out in some other way.

7. Never enough time. You feel as though you’re always in a hurry and never have enough time for all the things you’re trying to accomplish each day.

8. Excessive worrying, high level of self-criticism. Your mind cycles through the same worry filled thoughts again and again and you can’t seem to stop. The critical voice in your head is very loud, telling you constantly to do more, work harder, and no matter what you accomplish, you’re still not doing enough. There is no self-compassionate voice to balance out the critical voice, or if there is, it is very weak and you can barely hear it.

9. Physical illness. Initially,the physical symptoms can be subtle. You may experience headaches, a persistent cold, have a stomach bug or an upset stomach frequently, or a weak immune system in general. If early signs are ignored, your body may hit a wall and receive a more serious diagnosis.

10. Numb feelings. Increase in addictive behavior. Initially, this can show up as an excessive dependence on caffeine and/or sugar to stay alert and boost energy when feeling low. As things progress, an increased dependence on drugs, alcohol, eating comfort foods or watching more television than usual can be signs you’re burning out and using these coping mechanisms to avoid acknowledging how you really feel.

11. Inefficacy. Experiencing diminished personal accomplishment, a perceived decline in competence or productivity, and expending energy at work without seeing any results.

12. No Breaks.

– Vacation. You can’t remember the last time you took a single day off just to relax and do nothing. Or perhaps you haven’t had a vacation in over six or even twelve months.

– Recharge throughout the day. You may have a tendency to push through your work without taking a break. It’s one thing to be in the zone, but if you notice you’re not getting up to get a glass of water, stretch your legs, go on a walk or call a friend at least once every 90-120 minutes, you could be putting unnecessary stress on your body.

– Weekly Rituals. You haven’t made time for a rejuvenating activity in the last week (massage or any pampering treatment, a bath, cooking or reading a book simply for pleasure, going on a hike, etc.).

13. Not enough exercise. You aren’t making as much time to exercise or move your body as you would like.

What are some practical, simple & cost free anti burnout things to do?

First, go through the list above and circle your top three symptoms. Next, ask yourself “Hmmm, what do I need?” for each of these areas. For example, if you’re eating at your desk five days a week, what you need could be to connect with friends or colleagues over lunch more often, or to exercise during your lunch break. If you haven’t taken a vacation in over a year, what you need could be to schedule a vacation.

Once you determine what you need, come up with an action step for each of these three areas. An action step has a “What” and a “By When.” For example, Action Step: I will plan a vacation and book the tickets by next Thursday at 4pm. Setting concrete goals is one of the best ways to ensure you’ll make a change.

Avoiding burnout starts by putting some of these preventative measures in place. If you want even more accountability, you can recruit an anti-burnout partner. Tell this person what your action steps are and ask him or her to hold you accountable by checking in to make sure you’ve followed through. Getting support and setting clear action steps will help you implement these simple practices with greater ease.

Want more tips to avoid burnout? Get this (Free) video: 9 Steps to Create Work You Love

Photo Credit: Kinga Cichewicz

The post How To Prevent Burnout – 13 Signs You’re On The Edge appeared first on Vanessa Loder.

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Recently, I was scheduled to have a coaching call with one of the women in our Tactical Magic Mastermind, which is a ten month program CWYL grads. When we got on the phone, she was in the middle of making herself lunch and had just gotten back from multiple back to back offsites and coach trainings while maintaining her full time day job.

She was a bit frenzied.

Her original plan was to quit her job, then pursue her next step to become certified as a coach. Instead, she’s doing everything at once.

When we got on the phone, I could feel how her energy was a bit distracted and pulling her elsewhere. She wanted quiet time to process and integrate all the new material and insights she’d just received.

Your needs can change. Your plan can evolve.

Even though we’d scheduled a call, I told her it felt like we should cancel. I suggested that perhaps the lesson she was meant to learn was that it’s ok to do less, say; “No,” and prioritize downtime.

Honoring your moment to moment truth is powerful.

I could hear her breath a sigh of relief as she giggled and agreed that perhaps the point of our call for the day was to not have a call. It was the wise choice in that moment.

Bonus benefit: canceling the call felt in flow for me too, and gave me the extra time to write this blog!

Scared of disappointing people? What if you’re doing them a favor!?

Have you ever felt scared to say no or back out of a commitment because you didn’t want to disappoint others? Maybe you’re doing the other person a favor.

We could all use more space. Leading by example inspires others.

This woman realized she’d taken on too much, and she recently had an insight that she was the one doing that to herself. No one else was asking her to do all these things at the same time.

I’ve suffered from self-induced overwhelm myself, and it ain’t pretty.

(Read my recent blog on “How to Feel Okay Doing Less” for some tips on how to handle this)

It’s amazing how we’ll over-commit and not realize how much we’ve dug ourselves into a hole until we’re way beyond capacity.

Take a step back before you over-commit.

Take a moment to look at your days and week ahead. Do you have a lot going on? Is there a way you can build a little more downtime or cushion between events, meetings and commitments?

As always, the best conversations happen in the comments! Let us know – have you suffered from self-inflicted overwhelm?  What has helped you to do less and take some quiet time to reflect and process between commitments?

We can all find five minutes.

You can create quiet time for reflection, even if it’s just five minutes before you go to bed at night.

T  A K  E     S P A C  E.

Just seeing the words above typed out with more space feels calming to me!

If you want support in calming your anxious mind, try our free 30 Day Meditation Challenge (Starts immediately!)

This Free 30 Day Meditation Challenge is a great way to create some quiet time for just 5 minutes a day.

May you create work and a life you love,

Vanessa

Photo Credit: Artur Rutkowski on Unsplash

The post this woman was over-committed…and she realized something important. appeared first on Vanessa Loder.

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A month ago, I volunteered in our daughter Eva’s kindergarten class with several other parents. There was one boy at my station who was struggling a bit with the craft project and couldn’t glue all the pieces into place before it was time to rotate to another table. His mom, who was volunteering at a different station, came over to our table and quickly finished the project for him.

I judged her.

After watching this woman complete her son’s project, I noticed myself thinking; “She’s doing too much for her son and it’s preventing him from learning to do things for himself.”

To be honest, I made an assumption (laced with judgment) that she was too controlling.

We judge other people all the time.

Recently, I was at a gym class with fast paced cardio and borderline dance moves (sometimes I feel like Beyonce, mostly I feel like a gangly teenager who didn’t quite make the dance team but keeps showing up at tryouts every year anyway. ha!).

This one woman in the front row was very distracting to me.

She was exaggerating all the dance moves in a big way while making aggressive eye contact with herself in the mirror. She also had knee high socks that matched the ones the instructors were wearing. I found her behavior annoying. My judgment about her was…

She’s trying too hard.

As part of the Tactical Magic Mastermind program that I’m teaching right now (for CWYL Grads), we’re learning a simple process to shift our judgments of others.

Owning our projections.

This framework is based on Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is and includes four powerful questions (highly recommend it!).

Today, I want to share the most simple version you can use every day.

The next time you’re judging other people, do this.

First, start by identifying your main criticism, judgment or complaint about another person. Write it down.

Step 1. Write down your judgment.

Example Judgment: That mom from kindergarten is too controlling and does her kids a disservice by taking care of everything for them.

Example Judgment: That woman in gym class is trying to hard.

Uncomfortable truth: Everything you judge about another is really about you.

All our judgments are a projection on some level or another. And, the best way to start owning your projections is to turn them around to yourself (with love and compassion!)

Step 2. Turn your judgment around.

So, take your judgment and turn it around to yourself by switching the pronoun to “I.” Then ask; “hmm, in what way is this true?”

Example: That mom is too controlling and does her kids a disservice by taking care of everything for them.

Turn Around:  

—> I’m too controlling and I do my kids a disservice by taking care of everything for them.

“hmm, in what way is this true?”

Example: That woman in gym class is trying to hard.

Turn Around:  —> I’m trying too hard.

Ouch!

Sometimes, the truth hurts.

Our daughter Eva had a craft project spread out across our dining room table for three days last week. After dinner one night, my husband Brent asked her to pick up some of the gems and feathers that’d fallen on the floor. She was slow to respond, I was tired and ready for her to go to bed so I could relax. In my own impatience waiting for her to clean it up, I quickly scooped up the sequins without thinking. It wasn’t until my husband made a comment about how Eva was supposed to clean her own mess that I realized….oh, I am that mom in the kindergarten class.

I scoop sequins.

Maybe I don’t hover in the exact same way or complete my daughter’s project at school, but I do sometimes take on things that are Eva’s responsibility in our home. I can be too controlling and I do a disservice for my children by taking care of things for her them.

Yup, that’s true.

Suddenly, I realized why that mom’s behavior annoyed me. It was because I don’t like that part of myself.

Once I was able to see and own my projection, I felt better.

It’s the same with the woman at the gym. Sometimes, I try too hard and I’m annoyed with myself that I can’t just relax.

I am the woman at the gym.

Maybe I don’t wear matching leggings with the teachers or look at myself intensely in the mirror, but there are other ways in which I try too hard in life. I can be intense too.

After you own a projection, be kind to yourself. (SUPER important)

There can be a temptation to switch from judging or criticizing others to beating ourselves up instead. That’s not the point.

The point is to recognize that we’re not owning a part of ourselves and to give ourselves love and compassion around that area. Then, ask yourself; “hmm, what would I like instead?”

For me, I would like to notice when I’m taking on chores or other responsibilities that are not mine to do, and to just STOP. I want to relax and allow other people to clean up their own messes and learn from their own mistakes.

I relax and trust that we are all whole and complete and can take care of ourselves.

Now, we’d love to hear from you. What are some of your biggest complaints of judgments about someone else? And what did you learn about yourself when you turned those around by switching the pronouns?!

Comment below and join the conversation!

May you create work and a life you love,

Vanessa

P.S. Don’t forget to check out our brand new Morning Meditation: Surrender, Allow and Trust (S.A.T.)

 

Photo: Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

The post Judging others? Me too. appeared first on Vanessa Loder.

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If you’re like most people, you wake up in the morning and immediately check your phone. 

Don’t start your day with other people’s priorities.

When you check your phone first thing in the morning, how does it make you feel?

Start your day on the right foot.

If you begin your day by responding to other people’s demands, you’ll probably feel anxious and stressed out.

Instead, try taking some time to feel centered and get clear on your priorities. You can also ask for guidance from a higher power. I’ve created this new meditation to help you do just that!

Today, we have a brand new guided meditation for you:

Surrender, Allow and Trust (S.A.T.)

by Vanessa Loder

https://vanessaloder.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Surrender-V2.mp3

The Universe has your back.

There’s a force greater than us that’s at work in our lives. If you connect with this higher power first thing in the morning, you can begin your day with a deeper intention to surrender, allow and trust in what life has to offer you.

Have you ever been worried that things wouldn’t go your way?

Trying to control the uncontrollable is exhausting.

(Read my blog on “What to do when you don’t get what you want” HERE)

It’s scary to surrender to the unknown, and yet there’s a profound sense of peace and relief that comes when you do.

This morning S.A.T. Meditation practice will help you to connect with the Divine as you ask; “What would you have me do today? Where would you have me go? What would you have me say, and to whom?”

You’ll learn a process to Surrender, Allow and Trust (S.A.T.) the Universe or God to move in you, as you and through you.

After listening to this meditation, you’ll be more connected to your intuition and better able to accept and surrender to life’s circumstances. You’ll also cultivate a deeper trust that the Universe has your back and that good things are coming your way.

Once you’ve had a chance to listen to today’s brand new Guided Meditation, we’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment and let us know, what did you think of this new guided meditation?

Can you think of a time in the past when you were able to surrender to life’s circumstances or do you often struggle to allow things to happen? C’mon over to the blog and share your story, I’ll be reading every single comment and really do want to hear from you!

May you create work and a life you love,

Vanessa

P.S. This new S.A.T. Meditation is 11 minutes long as some of you have been requesting longer meditations, enjoy!

Photo by Simon Rae on Unsplash

The post Have you S.A.T. today? appeared first on Vanessa Loder.

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I’ve been practicing this new technique from Abraham-Hicks in which I visualize each segment of my day and set an intention whenever I enter a new segment.

New Trick: a simple way to focus and segment your day.

We each go through various transitions from one segment of our day to another, for example when you wake up in the morning and get ready for work, that’s one segment. As you drive or commute to work, that’s another segment. When you walk to a meeting or get lunch, you’re entering another new segment.

Use your transitions to set an intention.

The transitions from one segment or category of your day to another are the perfect time to set an intention and focus clearly on what you want for the upcoming segment.

For example, when you get into your car or on the bus, you can set the intention of arriving safely at your destination with easy flowing traffic, and using the time to do something uplifting.

Before you pick up the phone or walk into a meeting, do this.

When someone calls you on the phone or you walk down the hall to a meeting, take a moment to set an intention for what you’d like to get out of that phone conversation or that meeting. For example; “I uplift those around me, I’m able to communicate my ideas clearly, and get them excited about my overarching goal of xxx.”

What is your primary intention for each segment of your day?

Focus on your intention immediately before starting the activity and you’ll get incredible results!

I just went on a run, which represented a new segment in my day. While on the run, I decided to visualize how I wanted to feel on the run itself, and also how I wanted the next couple of hours to go when I returned to work after the run.

I saw myself getting home, drinking a big glass of water and then standing in my office brainstorming ideas for upcoming blogs on a whiteboard. I visualized the ideas coming with ease, and saw myself quickly sitting down to write two entire articles without pause. I also imagined myself finally finishing a big decluttering effort in my office and putting away all my files.

When I got home from the run, I immediately drank a glass of water and started brainstorming blog ideas. Then, I sat down and wrote two articles really quickly (which doesn’t usually happen! I’m lucky if I get one article draft done in a single day). Everything I had intended happened with so much ease, it was incredible.

Segment intending plants the seeds for you to get more of what you want.

The basic concept behind segmenting is that if you chunk the different activities or segments of your day and focus on what you’d like out of each segment, you’re more likely to create it.

Chunk it down.

If you think of your whole day, it can be too overwhelming and hard to focus on what you’d like. But if you break the day into segments, it’s easier to be focused and clear.

Try it for yourself right now.

As you’re reading this, take a moment and imagine the segment you’re about to enter. Maybe you’re going to sleep for the night, and you want to set the intention of falling asleep with ease and waking up feeling rested. Or maybe you’re taking a short break at work, and you’re about to enter a segment where you want to intend extreme productivity, clear communication and motivation.

What segment are you about to enter next?

How do you want it to go? What are your intentions for this upcoming segment?

See it, feel it and imagine it any way you can. Then, after that segment’s over, check in with yourself notice if you were more effective at creating what you intended for that time period.

You’ll be astounded at how well this technique works!  

Sometimes, it feels like a lot of effort for me to consciously think of what I want throughout the day.

Harness your transitions.

But when I use the transition time between segments to pause for a second and set an intention, it becomes easier.

If you don’t set intentions, your day can feel fragmented or reactive.

If you don’t take the time to get clear on what you want, you’ll end up reacting to other people’s agendas and priorities. Or your day will feel fragmented and unproductive.

The more clear you are about what you want, the more you get what you want.

It’s that simple.

Try it out for yourself and see! We’d love to hear from you – leave a comment BELOW and let us know. What’s your experience of trying out this segment intending?

May you create a life you love with ease and intention,

Vanessa

P.S. I have some brand new meditations we’ll be releasing in the coming weeks! Stay tuned.

Photo Credit: Blubel

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Previously Published in Elephant Journal

Today, I’m sharing a personal story that was recently published in Elephant Journal.

A chance encounter at the vet’s office turned poignant.

Our cat, who is unsuitably named Bear, limped into the house one morning gingerly holding his front paw in the air.

He allowed me to stroke his fluffy black fur, but growled when I tried to touch his paw, which was dangling at an awkward angle. The morning this occurred, we were already dealing with broken heat ducts (brrrr!), a newly discovered rat infestation under our house (gross) and hosting for the holidays (nuff’ said). So, amidst the chaos, I begrudgingly took Bear to the vet.

Even though he clearly wasn’t fulfilling his end of the bargain, given the RAT situation.

While flipping through magazines in the waiting area of the vet’s office, I noticed a woman quietly crying across the room. I heard her tell the administrators she just wanted to be close to her dog for a little while longer. Watching her in obvious pain, I thought about the sadness of losing a pet, especially over the holidays.

She seemed consumed with grief.

Shortly thereafter, we were called into the examination room and I was told Bear’s paw was most likely not broken and we could go home. As I wrapped up payment and paperwork and chatted with the lady at the front desk, the distraught woman in the waiting room suddenly looked up at me and said; “Are you Vanessa Loder?”

“Umm, yes,” I replied. She went on to tell me that she’d listened to my 30 Day Meditation Challenge and had recognized my voice from across the lobby. We began chatting and she told me her beloved dog was not going to make it. I gave her a hug and did my best to comfort her.

We both remarked on what a strange coincidence it was that we’d run into each other in these circumstances. As we hugged goodbye, I said something along the lines of; “Things will get better.”

She nodded meekly.

And that’s when it hit me; we often gloss over grief, wanting to fix things or move through it quickly because it’s painful and uncomfortable. I remembered some wise words I’d heard from Esther Hicks, who said we often tell other people to feel better because we can’t handle their discomfort.

In that moment, I decided to make a different choice.

I turned back to the woman and said; “Screw that. Our society doesn’t honor grief enough, and I’m sorry I just gave you some platitude about things getting better.”

Then, I looked her straight in the eye with my hands on my heart and said; “I honor your grief,” as I sort of bowed down before the pain she was experiencing. She burst into tears, nodding her head again and again as the tears silently rolled down her cheeks.

Do our chance encounters have a deeper purpose?

Leaving the vet’s office that day, I was reminded of another story Esther Hicks shared at an event in California. She talked about how one day, she had a strong impulse to rearrange the furniture in her house. It was too big for her to move, so she hired some guys to come over the next day and move it. Then she began experimenting with her sound system, which she’d never used before. She pushed a default button labeled “classical music” and played around with the different speakers in her house, moving from room to room. Then she saw a button that said; “rap,” and wondered what that was, so she pushed it. Rap blasted through all the speakers in her home, and she started dancing around.

The next day, the movers came to rearrange her furniture.

She struck up a conversation with one of the young men, and he mentioned that he was about to move to New Orleans to attempt a career as a rap artist….(read the rest of this story here).

Read the full article in Elephant Journal HERE.

I hope you enjoyed these two stories, and now we want to hear from you!

Have you had a chance encounter that felt like it had a deeper purpose or greater meaning? After you read the full story, comment below and tell us of your own random or serendipitous encounters.

I’ll be reading every single response and can’t wait to hear from you.

May you create work and a life you love,

Vanessa

Photo Credit: Alyssa Stevenson

The post a grieving woman and this rap artist have a lot to teach us… appeared first on Vanessa Loder.

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Thank you for being part of this special community. Over the years, we’ve received hundreds of questions from you and today, I want to address a specific theme that keeps coming up again and again.

This common theme has to do with enough-ness.

You’ve asked these questions;

“How can I feel okay about letting some things go in my life to make room for more important activities?”

“How can I get rid of the guilt (I didn’t spend enough time with my family one minute, then I didn’t spend enough time with work another) or the fear of missing out (should I have taken on that extra opportunity at work, even though I have no time?)”

“How do I know that I’ve done ‘enough’?”

Are you feeding a hungry ghost?

As a culture, we’re somewhat obsessed with more. Getting more done, buying more stuff, having more, doing more, even being more (be happier now! meditate more!).

We assume more is better.

This pursuit of “having it all,” coupled with advances in technology that enable 24/7 connectivity, cause many of us to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out. Not to mention deeply inadequate because we can never do it all, all the time.

Feeling like you’re constantly coming up short is not a fun way to live.

Good news, it’s an optional state of being! You can choose a new reality.

Underneath all the striving for more is what Buddhist cosmology calls the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts, ancient figures who are riddled with powerful desires they can never really satisfy.

The hungry ghost is that part of us that feels like no matter what we do, it’s never enough.

(Quick sidebar: I’m a big fan of having constantly evolving desires. It’s great to want things in life. But when we’re never satisfied, or we chase desires that aren’t really our deeper truth, there can be a hollowness to it.)

The reason it can feel as though it’s never enough is because you have some version of the belief; “I’m not enough.”

If your core identity is tied to believing you’re not enough, then you’ll create circumstances in your life that reinforce this belief.

You’ll over-commit, feel guilty and struggle to feel satisfied with your accomplishments each day. The key to feeling like you’re doing enough is to shift your core belief to; “I am enough.”

I’ve worked with this belief a lot in myself. And it keeps coming up. It’s been one of the biggest impediments to my happiness. And one of my best teachers.

I’ve learned how to begin shifting it, and how to tune into a deeper, wiser part of myself that knows I’m not flawed or broken, that knows I’m perfectly imperfect and I am enough just the way I am.

The more I connect with this deeper, wiser part of me, the less I suffer from the hungry ghost syndrome.

It starts with honoring your deeper truth and values. How do you really want to be spending your time? Making choices that are aligned with your values will help you to feel like you are enough, even if you’re not doing enough.

When I’m struggling with not getting everything done, I’ll say to myself; “Ok, I’m going to get less done with my business this week because I value time with the kids and I made a commitment to work part-time while growing a $1 million company. I honor my values and my commitment. I give myself permission to do less.

Giving myself permission to do less has helped me stay grounded in my truth and my inherent worthiness. It’s also helped to practice a heck of a lot of self-compassion, patience, trust and surrender (not to mention visualization…I’ll get to that in the next blog!)

Sometimes, I still feel a bit sad that I didn’t get everything done at work. Or that I’m not playing outside with my kids on a sunny day. But overall, I know I’m being true to who I am. And that, more than anything else, is what helps me feel like I am enough.

When you’re connected to that deeper part of you that knows you are enough, it’s easier to do less.

There are lots of tools and strategies to help you connect with this deeper, wiser part of you.

Today, I invite you to connect with your wiser self by closing your eyes, taking 2-3 deep breaths, placing your hands on your heart and then gently asking this simple question; “Hmmm, if my soul could speak to me about how I’m feeling right now, what would it say?”

Receive the advice your deeper, wiser self offers you.

After you ask yourself this question, we’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below.

Let us know, if your soul could speak to you about your current situation, what would it say?

May you hear the whispers of your soul, the longings of your heart, and have the courage to follow them on your true path,

Vanessa

The post how to feel okay doing less appeared first on Vanessa Loder.

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This past weekend, I spent a day with spiritual teacher Esther Hicks, who channels an infinite intelligence called Abraham.

If you haven’t heard of Abraham-Hicks, you can watch Esther on Oprah or check out these videos. The movie “The Secret” was based in large part on this work.

Learning to manifest your desires.

The basic premise of Abraham-Hicks is that your thoughts create your reality, and you have the power to manifest truly magical things in your life.

But it’s taking too long.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from clients is that it’s taking too long and they still don’t have what they want.

The more annoyed you are with the status quo, the longer it takes to change it.

Ironically, the thing that will get you what you want sooner is for you to embrace your current situation while still focusing your attention on what you’d like instead.

For us humans, this is not easy to do.

In this book, Abraham says;

“It is our desire that you become one who is happy with that which you are and with that which you have – while at the same time being eager for more. That is the optimal creative vantage point: To stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation – with no feeling of impatience, doubt or unworthiness hindering the receiving of it – that is the Science of Deliberate Creation at its best.”

Whether you want a new relationship, more fulfillment at work, greater financial independence, or just to feel happier, this truth remains.

But…you want a sure thing.

Looking back on my life, the times when I was most able to enjoy the moment while also being excited about creating something new were when I had a “sure thing.”

For example, going on a three month wilderness expedition or taking a sabbatical while knowing I had a new job starting afterwards.

Or finishing up the final months of my job and then traveling for a couple weeks, knowing I was leaving for business school at Stanford in the fall.

You don’t relax until you get the next thing.

Let’s pretend.

Imagine you’re looking for a new job. You feel anxious, worried and stressed about your future. You’re miserable with the uncertainty.

After three months, you get the perfect job offer and they want you to start right away. You’re thrilled about the opportunity, it’s exactly what you want. You say yes and eagerly begin the new job.

After three months of stressful job-related anxiety, you finally feel happy and relaxed.

What if you knew that next job was coming all along?

Now, imagine you have that same job offer, but it doesn’t start for three months.

You have a guaranteed contract of future employment that you’re thrilled about. Plus, they gave you a signing bonus so you have a little extra cash to enjoy the three months until your new role begins. How would you feel?

A paid sabbatical with a guaranteed positive outcome. Pretty sweet!

Suddenly, those three months look very different.

At its core, the teachings of Abraham-Hicks suggest we should all act as if the next job is coming, because it is.

The more you can settle into this awareness, and focus on what you want instead of on what you currently don’t (yet) have, the sooner it will arrive.

The key to creating what you want is to make yourself a vibrational match.

This past weekend, Esther said; “You need to be satisfied with the emotional vibration for a while until your manifestation shows up.”

What does that mean? It means stay positive.

Stay in a high vibration state in relation to your desires as you wait for them to arrive.

It takes awareness and focus.

In order to do this, you must notice when you’re having negative or impatient thoughts about your desires and redirect your attention to something positive instead.

Focus on the small ways you already do have what you want. Go for a walk in nature, meditate, listen to uplifting music, call a friend. Do whatever necessary to lift your energy state.

Energy precedes creation.

You must feel good NOW to allow more good things to come into your life.

Abraham also talks a lot about the importance of meditation. Meditation is one of the best ways to increase your vibrational state and relax your resistance so that you’re in a state of allowing.

(We’ll be launching a brand new meditation challenge with longer, 15 minute meditations in the coming months…stay tuned!)

I’ll be sending out more tips on how to manifest your desires in the coming weeks.

For today, see if you can pretend that whatever you most want in your life is going to happen. It just hasn’t happened yet.

What would you do if you knew that it was definitely going to happen? How would you act as you wait for it to show up, knowing it was a guaranteed outcome? How would you feel? What would be different in your life?

We’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below and let us know – do you get impatient waiting for things to show up in your life? Are you able to trust that things will work out and act as if?

Join in the conversation! We really want to know what you think.

May you deliberately create work and a life you love,

Vanessa

Photo by Kyle Glenn

The post do you want a sure thing? appeared first on Vanessa Loder.

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