The Skinny Confidential | A lifestyle Blog by Lauryn Evarts
The Skinny Confidential is a book & lifestyle blog written by Lauryn Evarts. Lauryn Evarts is an influencer & the creative director behind The Skinny Confidential. It represents the movers, the shakers, and the ones who without a doubt want to be the best damn version of themselves.
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11:33 PM on Tuesday night- winding down from Mother’s Day weekend. This year Michael & I decided to celebrate Mother’s Day together. In honor of The Nanz & my mom we went to the Hotel Bel Air to watch the swans & drink champagne. Usually we are in San Diego spending Mother’s Day with my stepmom, Michael’s mom, & my god mom, however this year we had work commitments that had us stuck in LA. So instead of staying home we thought it would be fun to honor my mom & The Nanz while watching the swans. Back story for you: before my grandma passed away we had a whole day planned out. She was going to drive up to LA with us ( we discussed an In & Out stop too ) & once we got to LA we were going to show her our condo and head to Hotel Bel Air. This hotel was one of my grandma’s favorites- she actually used to play tennis & do a late afternoon Vodka Collins there. BOUGIE! HA.
But seriously, imagine her in her flirty tennis skirt being all feisty after a doubles match! MY GOD, I CANNOT!
Anyway, The Nanz told me all about these swans. You eat brunch & watch the swans, floating all peacefully. So today we did that. Of course, missing her every second.
Like what you ask? Well, here ya go:♡ The importance of unplugging- WE ALL NEED THIS:
So, at the event we had the opportunity to sit down & hear from celebrity trainer, Harley Pasternak. His words of wisdom were FANTASTIC. Seriously so many takeaways. One that really resonated for me ( & I hope it will resonate with you! ) was the importance of taking a mini digital detox…EVERY DAY. That’s right, daily. Harley recommended taking one hour away from electronics. To be completely honest, I do this every night…to read. I usually end the night with 20 to 30 minutes of reading. BUT sometimes it’s on my phone. Guilty. UGH. So I feel like I need to dust off the library collection & get involved with a real book instead of a digital one. One hour a day= phone away, no comp, say goodbye to TV, & CHILL. Put on some music & get creative: read, write, draw, whatever. Just no electronics. WAY harder than you think. When you detox, you get that meditative break- this helps lower cortisol & is sort of like a brain workout. SO NEEDED.
Takeaway: for at least one hour, unplug from any active technology- unplug from the constant alerts, vibrations, emails, Instagram DMs, texts, and phone calls.” – Harley Pasternak.
♡ Getting a sweat test is a ‘THING’:
I know- I didn’t know this either. I was like “SWEAT TEST?! What’s that? I mean I did it see on The Kardashians– you know that episode when Kourtney & her friend sweat their asses off in a sauna to see who’s the healthiest?”
So yes it’s a thing. The sweat test “measures the concentration of chloride that is excreted in sweat.” You basically get on a bike & sweat for one hour straight. It was rad to see a bunch of people sweating their asses off on bikes. Everyone was committed to getting their sweat tested. Sure it sounds weird, but it’s not- through your sweat you can find: “an array of other proteins, molecules and ions that could offer more clues to a person’s physical well-being.”
Cool beans. I love anything that provides solutions to problems. Has anyone else tried a sweat test?
Takeaway: try a sweat test if you’re looking to know more about your body. If anything you get an hour workout in- efficient!
I’m a huge fan of counting my steps because I feel like it’s something that holds me accountable. It’s kind of a fun game to play with your boyfriend or husband too you know? Something different. Am I wrong? I don’t think so. Try it & let me know what you think…just make sure you win. Keep it competitive-sexy, k?
You know what else? I feel like it’s the trick to staying fit. Walking.
Think about it- if you’re constantly moving, it’s a good thing. I mean look at New Yorker’s or the French. They walk! Everyone is walking everywhere! I want to be more of a walker!
Anyway, back to Harley. He says: “There are 168 hours in a week and if you’re in the gym for three of those, you’re still not in the gym for 165 of those, he says.
Harley said to start at 10,000 but actually really shoot for 12,000.
What can you expect if you up your steps? Just weight loss, improved sleep, reduced risk of cardiovascular disease + more.
More steps= WINNING.
Tomorrow you can find me on Melrose walking to get my coffee, walking while I’m on a conference call, & walking home from the office. Wearing a hat, of course.
Takeaway: use the App, Pacer to count your steps. Start with 10k but get to 12k. You in?
Let’s do it- should be fun!
♡ Julianne Hough has a POSITIVE ENERGY that’s contagious & so very compelling:
WOW! Having the opportunity to take a dance/fitness-y class from Julianne Hough ( she’s been on The Skinny Confidential here ) & Simone of Body by Simone was badass. I could talk your ear off about it but I feel like we need to discuss Julianne’s ZEST.
YES. She has a zest- always smiling, laughing, singing. Her body language is open & it’s damn refreshing. You can feel her energy- it’s very positive & I LIKE IT.
BEAUTIFUL, CHARISMATIC, & COMPELLING.
Things like that. I have actually heard this about her from many people, but to experience her energy in person was cool. The common theme was: she was approachable & made all of the girls taking her class feel good. And I liked it. A lot.
Because what a cool girl! Inspiring! Approachable! Cool! Very much about it.
So there we were trying to dance like Julianne ( who happens to be this majorly professional dancer ) & there’s this massive room where we are bumping into each other…but NO ONE CARED! EVERYONE WAS HAVING A BALL. That’s good energy.
Because, let me tell you, there’s nothing I love more than people who just want to have a good time. The ‘go with the flow’ kind, people who don’t take themselves so seriously. IT’S ALL FUNNY!
Takeaway: positive vibes always win. Energy is contagious- where focus goes energy flows. Keep it fun.
♡ COMMUNITY IS QUEEN:
I was honored when Propel asked me to speak on stage with influencers, Love Sweat Fitness & rrayyme. The panel was led by Facebook boss, Will Post. We discussed everything from how to create quality content ( natural light, good camera, patience ) to current digital trends ( video & audio ) to OUR WHY ( my WHY is to showcase a movement for women who want to create their own futures ). HOWEVER, the most important word that came up during our panel was: community.
COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING.
IT REALLY IS THOUGH! Nowadays having a tribe is the best. Because really none of us influencers would have a platform without community. To me, my community is number one. I want to be available, present, & accessible. Also, to be able to create a space like TSC FB Group for the community to connect has been cool. I absolutely love seeing you guys meet-up, give each other advice, & share your tips and tricks.
Takeaway: community- it’s THE BEST. There’s nothing better.
IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO HAVE AN EXPERIENCE LIKE THIS, check out Propel’s site because they’re coming to Miami, New York & Chicago this summer. Highly recommend.
So, I’m currently in bed about to do my hour digital detox ( Bossanova in background, paperback ready to read ). Tomorrow I’m very much planning on getting my 12k steps in so I need to prepare, LOL. No really, I need to calendar it. Getting specific with it, you know.
Hope you all a special Mother’s Day- happy Mother’s Day to all TSC mamas.
Because after using this $28 dollar, French product for the last 3 months, a The Skinny Confidential reader in the secret FB group told me that Karl Lagerfeld bathes in.
That’s right, BATHES IN COLLOSOL!
Now this really shouldn’t surprise you at all because it’s meant for babies. And if you’re like me & Karl you like to keep your skin baby-soft. I would consider bathing in it too if I had time for a long bath. I mean, can you just imagine it- Karl in a tub full of no-rinse, milk cleanser- probably listening to Mozart or Bach or some intelligent, high level shit thinking up next summer’s Pantone colors ( baby blue or…pink lavender? I’m stressed even thinking about it)?
Who really cares about Pantone colors though, when your skin as soft as a babies because of a cleansing milk bath. What a dream.
The second this stuff arrived on my doorstep? I ate it up. Skin felt: FRESH- CHECK ✓, DEWY- CHECK ✓, TIGHT- CHECK ✓. I’m SO not a fan of over-cleansing. I like to cleanse in the morning or night but not both, so this cleansing milk solves the problem. Because here’s the catch- you don’t use water with it. That’s right, just use an organic cotton round & rub it all of your face. I’m a fan of going upwards here but you do you. This magic milk also removes makeup.
OH & did I mention it’s for babies? Which we just love. Because if it’s fussy enough for a baby’s skin, it’s good for troop TSC. We don’t ask for much.
I keep this right next to my oils, serums, potions, & lotions. It very much fits right in with the whole crew. The no-rinse, milk cleanser is just ideal for the girl who’s been up all night with heaps of black eye liner on OR for the mom who’s on carpool duty at 6 AM- it’s versatile you know?
For me, the routine is simple: use Collosol, a good serum with some facial massage, organic oils, Vitamin C eye cream, a little skin mist. SPRITZ, SPRITZ! This usually happens at night. Sometimes I use it in the morning- it just really depends how I feel here. That’s the cool thing about this product, you can kind of just do what you want here. It’s THAT soothing. Trust- your skin will be SOFT. Like the softest of soft.
You can find this at French pharmacies or online.
Alessandra Steinherr, Beauty Director of Glamour UK says “it is the secret to my skin, because it makes it so soft. It brings my face to life. I’ve never talked about it because I’ve never wanted to share it, but I do think this is a wonder product. People always ask me, ‘What are you buying in the French pharmacies?’ I’m always saying, ‘You can get everything everywhere now, but this is the one thing.'”
For the naysayers who are going to ask: “why not use micellar water?” Well it’s different- it’s milky, you know the consistency. The micellar water smells & feels chemical-y to me. I hate that, don’t you know? When products are ruined with that chemical-ish smell. Anyway my magic milk obsessions certainly doesn’t smell like your tile cleaning spray. My skin also feels softer after Collosol.
I should mention- just because YES- the bottle is cute. Like ‘you want it on your Instagram feed’ kind of cute. Thought I would let you know.
The Skinny Confidential TIP: sleep on a silk pillowcase. Especially if you’re in to taking care of your skin. This will change your skin care game. After I do all my potions & lotions, I lay down on my silk pillowcase ( using this brand lately, I have the rose one ), close my eyes, & dream of a bath full of cleansing milk.
SKIN IS IN! Lead with your skin. Makeup is great & all, but for me, I prefer fresh skin. & HEY! KARL AGREES.
I just finished eating a very good lox, caper, & onion on GG dinner and now I am propped up in bed against my acupressure mat pillow listening to Bossanova while I say WHAT UP to you guys. Any news? What’s the latest? Tell me something good.
Speaking of good- recently Michael & I were the keynote speakers of The GOOD Fest. It was such an honor to speech, & not only speak but meet a bunch of the community in person. So many badass bloggers, business owners, & entrepreneurs. I was completely inspired.
This VLOG is a peek behind the scenes. I think it’s important to show different facets of life on social media & this is us, unfiltered prepping in the car for a speech. As you can see I was having a realllllllll BODY OIL moment. But like, what the fuck is new there?
Anyway see for yourself. Also while you’re at it, I hope there’s some takeaways in this video too! Let me know what you think?
EXCLUSIVE- THE GOODFEST SPEECH:
THE GOODFEST VLOG | BLOGGING AND BUSINESS ADVICE - YouTube
If you guys like these BTS videos, I will do more. Just let me know! Hope you’re all having a productive Thursday. We did some fun podcast interviews today- out soon. I think you guys will love some of the upcoming guests. I literally was taking notes today while both of them were speaking. Stay tuned.
Big thank you to The GOOD Fest for allowing us to be a part of such a cool movement.
( 5:05 ): Welcome back to TSC HIM & HER Show. This week we are joined by Candice Kumai. On this episode we discuss the Japanese art of nourishing mind, body and spirit, embracing imperfections and much more.
( 9:45 ): We’ve spoken with many top performances on this podcast and it’s interesting to note how many of them have truly struggled. They have become relentless to reach their dreams.I like to practice yoga, meditate or read to deal with problems. Michael focuses 10% on the problem and 90% on the solution.
( 17:25 ): Candice Kumai is an internationally renowned wellness writer, chef and content creator. Born and raised in California to a Japanese mother and Polish father she grew up in celebrating mixed cultures that continues to inspire her work today.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS WITH CANDICE
( 19:01 ): Lauryn asks: “Tell us how to make matcha & its benefits.”
( 21:20 ): Lauryn asks: “How have you written 6 books?”
( 23:45 ): Michael asks: “What were some of your struggles growing up?”
( 26:25 ): Lauryn asks: “How did you get to where you are?”
( 31:20 ): Lauryn asks: “Were you comfortable on TV right away?
( 36:55 ): Michael asks: “What motivates you to be authentically yourself all the time?”
( 44:45 ): Lauryn asks: “Why did you get into wellness?”
( 48:00 ): Michael asks: “Can you explain the Japanese art of golden repair?”
( 50:00 ): Lauryn asks: “How do you do it all – wlhat’s a day in the life?”
( 52:40 ): Lauryn asks: “What was your morning routine while writing your book?”
( 58:50 ): Lauryn asks: “What’s a small habit that has made a huge difference in your life?”
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+++ this episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Get $60 of free organic groceries, supplements, household products, fitness products and much more. Plus free shipping. Go to thrivemarket.com/skinny
Now you know very well that I get SPECIFIC about my daily habits. Huge believer over here that small habits form success. Kind of like chipping away- day after day to garner big results.
I consume a lot of content ( books & podcasts mostly ) as a human guinea pig- I am constantly curious & always eager to learn. The content I prefer to consume is typically by people who are WILDLY successful- I do this to surround myself with people who are smarter than me. AND SURE! They’re not my actual real life friends but that’s neither here nor there ( & for the record, my real-life friend are smart TOO! ).
But anyway, with all the successful people I’ve read about, there is a very common, very obvious theme: they all practice daily, healthy habits. Success leaves clues- & I’m taking my clues serious to report back to you guys. So no surprise here, I whipped out my magnify glass & put together a list for you.
A list of 9 badass habits.
These are habits that I have adapted- ones that heard off a podcast, or read about, or even made up myself, but I can tell you this: they’re ones that work.
Here’s the thing though- NONE of habits these work…unless you do. You are the one that has to implement the healthy habits everyday, day after day- there’s really no one else who can do it for you. Trust me, we all know I would delegate that shit if it were possible. It’s not- you have to do the work.
These are habits that if you do daily, rinse & repeat, will set you up for success.
WHAT IS A HABIT? According to Google a habit is “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.”
I like this definition. I like routine. & I like my habits. With that:
9 BADASS HABITS THAT WILL SET THE TONE OF YOUR DAY:1.) MEDITATION:
ALWAYS. Lately this has been a must. Many successful people have said: “if you don’t have 10 minutes to yourself, you don’t have a life.” I’d agree. Make 10 minutes for yourself every AM to zone out. You’ll see my routine below to get into the meditation zone but know this: I like Headspace. So far I have meditated for 540 minutes total. This is a big deal for someone who cannot sit still. ALSO- I feel calmer. And I like it. More peaceful if you will?
Meditation gives me clarity– I have even made business plans while meditating. Sometimes I work out something that’s bothering me. Whatever it is, meditation has helped.
2.) LIGHT, HYDRATION, MOVEMENT:
This is something I have practiced for the last 3 weeks. Michael laughs at me every morning because I sort of copied Aubrey Marcus here ( listen to his episode on the latest The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER Show- it’s juicy ). Like sure, I copied Aubrey…but I think everyone should copy him. WHY? Because he wakes up & does three things: LIGHT, HYDRATION, MOVEMENT. Here’s my little routine: wake-up, open shutters ( LIGHT? CHECK! ), clean tongue/brush teeth, make water bottle with a little pink Himalayan salt & lemon- drink half the liter ( HYDRATION? 1/2 CHECK ), go back in bed, wrap myself in leopard Kardashian blanket, meditate with lots of deep breaths, sip more water ( HYDRATION PART 2? OTHER 1/2 CHECK ), change into workout clothes, walk the dogs to the local coffee shop ( MOVEMENT? CHECK! ), order always: ALMOND MILK UNSWEETENED ICED LATTE WITH EXTRA CINNAMON, & walk home ( MORE MOVEMENT )- scene! The point is the day always starts with LIGHT, HYDRATION, MOVEMENT…& 10 MINUTES OF MEDITATION!
3.) MAKE THE BED:
Always for me. Making the bed sets the tone of the day for me since I was literally 4 years old. I have to make the bed- it’s a non-negotiable. Anyone else? I need my bedroom clean to start the day. I open the windows, the balcony, turn on some Bossanova jazz, burn some oils, & take 10 minutes to make the bed. Easy.
4.) LISTEN TO PODCASTS OR BOOKS ON TAPE WHILE DOING MUNDANE TASKS ( AKA ENHANCE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ) :
While the music is playing softly in the background, you can bet I am listening to a podcast. Here’s something weird about me: I HAVE to listen to something motivation, inspiring, or knowledgeable in the morning. Nothing funny, or gossip-y, or fiction. It needs to be VALUABLE. I like learning about successful people while making the bed. Kills two birds with one stone & I get inspired & revved up to start the day.
Sometimes I listen to Audible & do audio books. I like this route too because again, it starts the day with valuable nuggets. Lots of takeaways, you know?
5.) THE FUCKING FREEZING COLD:
If I can I get a workout in before I shower. I would say 4 days a week I workout in the morning. The other 2 it’s at night. So usually I workout downstairs or at the beach or at my Pilates studio & then I GET COLD. This could mean two things: I do a hot/cold shower OR cryotherapy. ONE OF THEM IS ALWAYS HAPPENING THOUGH. The cold has so many benefits- it’s great for the lymphatic systems, revs the metabolism, is mentally challenging ( it’s important to workout your brain too ), & fights inflammation. I am bouncing off the fucking walls after I do cryotherapy or a hot/cold shower. TRY IT. This is something I do everyday.
note: if I am showering, dry brushing is also involved to wake up my lymph system.
6.) MORNING PAGES &/OR WRITE EVERYDAY:
The earlier the better here. I shoot for this at least before 10 am. I do this thing- have you heard of it? It’s called MORNING PAGES. You can read more about it here. It’s 3 pages everyday of all your thoughts- with no judgement. I never check my e-mails until I have done this. I swear it’s bad juju.
Within MORNING PAGES, I always do my list of 7. I got this tip from a billionaire- I can’t remember who? He was on a podcast a while back. Anyway he said to make a list of 7 priorities everyday. And you can’t move forward with other small tasks until your 7 priorities are completed. A priority could be: write a blog post, post 10 IG Stories, &/or write an e-mail to __________ about _________. You do you here.
Another thing: I write blog content everyday. Usually 7 days a week. Some type of long form content is always happening on my end. Whether it’s for the blog, e-mails, interviews, YouTube, IG micro blogging, whatever- I just write. It’s definitely not always perfect but the point is here I am practicing my writing skills everyday. A little goes a long way in the long run. Remember habits make success.
This is a very easy time-management hack that will enable you to take full advantage of your CONCENTRATION by doing a lot of the same things together at the same time.
Like for instance: if I wanted to shoot photos for a blog post- instead of doing a few photos throughout the week, I do the exact opposite. I put them all in one block, on one day. Friday’s are usually my day to shoot content. My team knows Thursday is prep night where we set everything up for the shoot. My photographer knows the shot list. I brainstorm ideas for whatever I’m shooting & we make sure the weather is going to be right…because you know we can’t do cloudy.
It could even be simple though. Like e-mails. I time-batch 1 hour in the morning, 1 hour at night. Even responding on social media I batch.
A year ago I turned my notifications off on my phone.
This change, quite frankly, changed my life.
Now even my text messages are time-batched. I take 15 minutes every morning and night to go through them. Time-batching is one of my favorite daily habits that’s truly changed my day.
8.) A GOOD SKIN CARE ROUTINE:
Everyyyyyday. You know this! Morning & night. Take 5 to 10 minutes in the morning & 10 minutes at night. Your skin will thank you in the long run. I have my morning skin care routine where I’m super anal about facial massage…& then my nightly routine ( coming soon to my channel ). My nightly routine is me covered in oils- LOL. I want to MOISTURIZED, you know? Anyway prevention is key. The real trick to having youthful skin is to take care of it little by little everyday. Small changes= big success.
9.) READ, READ, READ:
Not to be a nag but I believe everyone should implement reading into their daily life. The best time for me to read is when my brain is shutting off. I find that I am quiet & still. It’s 12:13 AM right. I write to you in bed. After I edit this post, I will curl up in my leopard blanket with my dogs & read for about 20 minutes before bed. Sometimes reading makes me fall asleep, sometimes I stay up later than I should reading, & sometimes I actually get ideas in my sleep…I swear! From reading! So I wake up & write down my thoughts on a pad of paper. Crazy? I know.
Oh! Right now I am reading Posh & Becks by Andrew Morton. Book on tape is: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill ( which is nothing to do with money- it’s more mindset ).
Reading is my favorite hobby ever. Anyone else?
Ta-da. Habits! Make them. Live by them! Rinse & repeat!
Do you like posts on habits & mindset? I’m feeling them lately. Like, a lot. Give me your feedback.
What is a daily habit you do that’s made all the difference? I swear I have learned so many good tips from you guys. Especially in the secret Facebook group.
Ok I’m off to read- maybe add a little CBD to my tea? I don’t know, I love a twist sometimes. Got to go.
I am just not a fan of doing my own hair. In fact, I loathe it. I want it to be a quick situation- like snap my fingers Cinderella & everything falls together kind of quick. Is anyone else like this? I can’t be the only one on the planet who dreads doing my hair- I mean, if I have a good podcast to listen to it’s ok BUT it still has to be quick. In & out.
Anyway leave it to me to find a random hack. A HACK THAT WORKS. This is one of those things that I fully recommend because I know when you guys use it- it will work for you too. HOW DO I KNOW THIS YOU ASK? Because I used it on myself in 5 minutes & it looked like I spent an hour on my hair. There’s nothing I love more than recommending a product that I know you guys will take home, use, & love over and over again. Really nothing better.
So with that, I have broken down how to use this very quickly in a video I shot on my phone- I’ve noticed you guys like these at-home tutorials. So OF COURSE I’ll do more.
HOW TO FAKE A BLOWOUT:
HOW TO FAKE A BLOWOUT AT-HOME - YouTube
Here’s the deal: this gadget is selling time. That’s all we all are looking for lately. I see it everywhere. Postmates, Uber, Amazon- what they’re selling is simple: TIME. Which is another reason I love podcasts- they save time. You can paint your nails, do your makeup, cook, clean the kitchen- while you get knowledge in. TIME.
I am always looking for time in whatever I do. I call this ( & made this name up, mind you ) PASSIVE MULTI-TASKING. This is where you do something passive…that doesn’t require focus ( like doing your makeup ) while doing something effective ( listening to a podcast on finances ) so you’re getting shit done while learning.
Is anyone else like this?
So ta-da, that’s how I fake a blowout all while listening to a 5 minute inspiration podcast. Just make sure you use some hair SPF after- ha!
( 2:50 ): Michael & I want to invite you to the Propel Co Labs fitness festival. It’s a one of the kind fitness experience with live musical performances. It’s May 5-6, 2018 in LA. Get a ticket at HERE and use code TheSkinnyConfidential10 for $10 off.
( 5:30 ): Welcome back to TSC HIM & HER Show. This week we are joined Aubrey Marcus and his fiancé Whitney Miller. It’s conversation unlike any other we’ve had on the show. We discuss psychedelics, open relationships, human optimization and more.
( 6:05 ): Last week we had a beauty giveaway on Kristin Cavallari’s podcast. The winner is @brookekovaleski. Stay tuned for another giveaway at the end of this episode.
( 6:55): Aubrey Marcus is the CEO of ONNIT which is a total human optimization experience. He is also an author with a new book out Own The Day, Own Your Life. In addition he hosts the Aubrey Marcus podcast.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS WITH AUBREY & WHITNEY
( 9:10 ): Michael asks: “What can people expect from your new book Own the Day, Own Your Life?”
( 11:25 ): Michael asks: “How would you introduce yourself?”
( 12:30 ): Michael asks: “How did you get into the podcast space?”
( 13:15 ): Lauryn asks: “Whitney do you practice Aubrey’s best day?”
( 14:15 ): Lauryn asks: “How did you two meet?”
( 15:30 ): Lauryn asks: “What has the evolution of ONNIT been?”
( 16:15 ): Michael asks: “How did you build through podcasting?”
( 18:45 ): Lauryn asks: “Let’s do a plot twist and talk about psychedelic medicine.”
( 20:40 ): Michael asks: “Can you explain a psychedelic experience you’ve had?”
( 22:40 ): Lauryn asks: “Would you recommend this for everyone?”
( 24:00 ): Michael asks: “What are the direct benefits of psilocybin and MDMA?”
( 26:00 ): Lauryn asks: “Tell us about ayahuasca.”
( 28:15 ): Lauryn asks: “Can you explain the ayahuasca ceremony for someone who has no idea?”
( 31:00 ): Lauryn asks: “Is this something you recommend people do as a couple?”
( 35:00 ): Lauryn asks: “How do you feel afterwards when you leave Peru?”
( 36:15 ): Michael asks: “Tell us about your open-relationship.”
( 41:05 ): Michael asks: “Let’s walk through the beginning emotions of your open-relationship.”
( 45:00 ): Michael asks: “How much say do each of your have on the other’s partner?”
( 46:25 ): Michael asks: “Are these emotional connections or just sexual encounters?”
( 47:20 ): Lauryn asks: “What about the other people involved?”
( 48:30 ): Michael asks: “How do you handle balancing the relationships?”
( 50:30 ): Michael asks: “What do you think about committed monogamous relationships?”
( 52:15 ): Lauryn asks: “When did you guys decide to talk about it on the podcast?”
( 54:50 ): Michael asks: “What’s your typical morning routine?”
( 56:55 ): Lauryn asks: “What are your other non-negotiables?”
( 58:00 ): Lauryn asks: “Do you shut work off?”
( 59:55 ): Lauryn asks: “What book or resource do each of you recommend?”
RESOURCE RECS FROM AUBREY & WHITNEY
+ Ben Greenfield podcast
+ Tim Ferriss podcast
+ Fighter and The Kid podcast
+ Joe Rogan podcast
+ NPR On Drugs podcast
+ Sex At Dawn book
+ Own The Day, Own Your Life book
++ this episode is brought to you by Woo For Play It’s made with 4 key ingredients and even tastes delicious. If you want better sex this is for you. Use the code SKINNY to receive 20% off and free shipping. Use code HIMANDHER if you already used code SKINNY.
Let me set the scene: it’s Monday night. Late night. 11:44 pm. Getting to the whole writing thing later because I spent the day shooting, returning e-mails, & podcasting. This post couldn’t wait another second.
Well I need to tell you something, of course. Something I have been thinking very hard about. LIKE WE GOTTA TALK, K?…BECAUSE WHO CARES ABOUT ANYTHING BESIDES THIS: do you have a hotel robe?
DON’T answer that yet.
Just wait for me to state my case, k?
You need one, I need another one, my dad needs one, everyone needs one. Hand them out like candy cane stocking stuffers on Christmas morning. Buy them as gifts. Sprinkle the love all over the world. Everyone needs a hotel robe.
No seriously, I’m that passionate about them. They’re SUCH a necessity.
I’m telling you- if you’ve read The Skinny Confidential for a while, this is one of those things we can go ahead & add to the MASTER LIST. Really, there’s just fucking something about a hotel robe.
Here’s the deal: I got sent one randomly from Venus Fleur. Which isn’t a robe company actually, it’s a gorgeous flower company. But that’s neither here nor there.
SURE- you can steal a hotel robe from a hotel but other people have worn it. & also, I don’t steal. So there’s that. OR you can buy your own! You should know: this robe can’t just be any old robe, it needs to be hotel-y. You know what I mean here right? Like PLUSH. DELICIOUS. FLUFFY. WHITE OR MAYBE A BABY BLUE WILL DO. SOMETHING THAT’S SO LUSCIOUS TO BE IN. VA-VA-VOOM.
If you need to understand specifically why you need one at home, here’s why:
HOTEL ROBE BENEFITS INCLUDE:
♡ A fluffy, delicious robe that hangs waiting for you, every night you come home.
♡ You don’t have to wash the robe often…at least I don’t.
♡ It’s easy to put on, easy to take off ( GREAT FOR A QUICKIE! ).
♡ Requires no underwear- I go nude under my robe.
♡ ROBE ACTIVITIES INCLUDE: reading, sleeping, lying around, eating in bed, watching TV, being lazy, working on your computer ( in bed ), watching more TV, maybe ringing a bell from bed to demand more hummus, &/or snuggling with your dog, cat, boyfriend.
♡ You can sleep it. No really, I do it all the time.
♡ You feel like you’re in a five-star hotel ( SORT OF AN ELOISE SITUATION IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT! ). But you’re not- you’re home in your bed, all perfect & warm wrapped in a big, fluffy HOTEL ROBE.
Really though, it was one of those things like WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE.
I wear mine almost every night. I wear it when I’m applying makeup. I wear it when I’m making the bed, cooking breakfast, whipping up my detox AM drink- FOR EVERYTHING! I EVEN like to sleep in it. Especially on a lazy-ass Sunday. So nice waking up next to a hot mint tea on a coffee warmer, NUDE ( !!! ) & reaching for your hotel robe. Nothing better actually.
It’s kind of like unbuttoning your jeans when no one’s looking at a stop light because you just ate too many Sour Punch Kids…but you’re at home, in bed.
Want to be a total pig slob eating hummus & chips in bed on Sunday? You need a hotel robe.
Want to come out of a hot SPA-LIKE eucalyptus shower & write a blog post in bed? You need a hotel robe.
Want to watch Vanderpump Rules while sipping on magnesium tea? You need a hotel robe.
Oh! Wait! You’re a guy? No worries! YOU NEED ONE TOO. Think about all the things that can hang loose under your hotel robe. Balls & all!
Michael even got one. He said it really allowed him to “let it all hang out.” I’m just saying. This is what he said. WHO ON EARTH DOESN’T WANT TO LET IT ALL HANG OUT.
It’s all really fab if you think about it.
DO YOU HAVE A HOTEL ROBE?
+ this one is just like the one I wear everyday. Yes I like to wear it everyday. Thank me later.
++ read about WHY YOU NEED AN ACUPRESSURE MAT HERE.
Today we have one of my best friends ( since we were 12! ), Erica Stolman of Fashionlush GUEST POSTING on what she does best: INSTAGRAM.
ERICA is a top influencer ( FASHIONLUSH! ) & she also happens to be my partner in blog-doo ( a blogger resource & design company !! ). One thing I will tell you guys about Erica: she KNOWS HER SHIT WHEN IT COMES TO BLOGGERS & INSTAGRAM.
Backstory: Erica & I met when we were in 7th grade. Which is just so nuts. We have so many stories together ( should we film a video? ). It’s funny because we were kind of blogging before blogging was a thing. Erica & I did this thing called ‘DT’ which is also known as ‘Diary Time.’ It’s was a whole made up thing. During DT we would fill our Barnes & Noble diaries with tips, tricks, magazine articles…just like a blog. But we were 13. Crazy.
We’ve really been through it all. She’s my business partner, helped me at my wedding, & someone who’s been through it all with me ESPECIALLY in the blogger world. Basically…she gets it. I can call her anytime about blogger life. I mean it is just a weird job in general so it’s nice to have someone who understands.
You know what else she understands? INSTAGRAM. VERY MUCHSO. SHE WILL DISCUSS DETAILS TODAY. I feel like she brings VALUE to the situation which is why I asked her to come on The Skinny Confidential TO GIVE YOU guys all the secrets. ALSO you should know: she just launched badass Instagram filters ( created by her with lots of TLC ) & she is the best blog designer on the planet ( we designed The Skinny Confidential together ).
With that, what’s up Erica ( get all DT-y on us k? ):
Let’s get real- Instagram stresses me the eff out. Making sure the feed is cohesive, coming up with captions that promote engagement, not forgetting about insta-storying throughout the day, & then there is the nasty little algorithm that’s got everyone’s panties in a bunch.
My boyfriend is the king of staying on top of Instagram trends & was spewing off facts on how the algorithm has changed in 2018. FABULOUS, once I *thought* I sort of had a grasp on things, Instagram switches things up on us. It feels like they never want us to understand how they function, but I am not gonna let a year go by to finally figure it out all over again.
Yes, there has been changes to the Instagram algorithm in 2018, & yes- I am gonna try my best to decode it! I have been researching like a boss, but for things to really stick in my memory, I gotta write it out. SO, that’s what I am doing, because I damn well know I am not the only one pulling my hair out over trying to beat the algorithm.
Here’s the deal, in a nutshell: when you post something on Instagram, it is only shown to 10% of your readers. If the post does well with that 10% right off the bat, then it will get shown to the other 90%- which is why some posts do GREAT & others, not so much.
Mind you, before I begin with tips on how to master this year’s algorithm changes, the research I have done doesn’t necessarily come from Instagram directly as they don’t spill their secrets. All of this is “word on the street” info, but considering how crazy people are about Instagram (myself included), I am trusting what I’ve read.
At the end of the day, it’s all about making sure your WELL THOUGHT OUT Insta content is not being buried & is getting the most exposure/engagement possible!
TIPS FOR THE INSTAGRAM ALGORITHM IN 2018♡ stop scrolling & INTERACT:
to get engagement, you have to give it. Comments are the pot of gold at the end of the Instagram rainbow. Although, if you’re not replying to those comments, not only are you not showing your readers love- but this will give you an algorithm ding. Think of comments like a conversation. You wouldn’t ignore a friend if they asked you where you got your sunnies. So don’t ignore your readers either! If the comment isn’t a question & doesn’t require a response, heart it. Show the Instagram gods you’re there, aware, & engaging.
Also, timeliness matters! Keep your responses quick within the first hour of posting! The slower your response time, your exposure will decrease.
Which brings me to comment pods. Comment pods are a hack blogger’s came up with to make sure they are getting seen & I am not anti-comment pods ( LAURYN HERE: not a fan, should I do a post on why? I have a whole thing about it ). I don’t find it cheating & I have been in a comment pod or two myself ( but never more than one at any given time ). With the ever-changing algorithm & the non-chronological posting order on the feed, people’s content is never getting seen at all & if there is a work around to increase exposure- why wouldn’t you do it? With comment pods, it’s not about having 100 comments, it’s about making sure your content isn’t getting buried
BUT- in 2018, it’s time to leave your comment pod. Instagram caught on, & this can cause you to get shadow banned. Same goes for comment bots- if a comment is below 4 words (i.e. “nice pic!”), Instagram doesn’t count that as real engagement. I know, that blows for the number of comments you’re getting. Just look at the bright side- all of these changes are meant to promote more AUTHENTIC engagement.
♡ captions MAKE your photo:
Gone are the days where an emoji was a sufficient caption (unless you’re a Kardashian). Captions need to be engaging AF to increase the authentic comments on your account! I talked a bit about micro-blogging on the gram here, so if you haven’t read it yet, you should!! Also, rumor has it, editing your caption within the first 24 hours is also a ding in the algorithm.
Then comes the hashtags. I always post hashtags in the first comment of my posts, but in 2018 you have to be very specific with your hashtagging ways so that Instagram doesn’t see it as spam (cause spamming will get you shadow banned!). You will have better luck with 10 super specific hashtags than 30 generic ones.
I am in a bind with this one because I have set hashtags for each different kind of post that I just copy & paste (with minor adjustments, depending on the post), but the key now is to switch up your hashtags. Don’t paste the same ones every time & put some in the actual caption itself. I love hiding my hashtags, but some people are saying commented hashtags aren’t making it to the search pages.
Another tip- you can now FOLLOW HASHTAGS & Instagram really likes when you utilize their new features, so follow dem hashtags kiddos.
♡ STORIES display your authenticity:
I know, getting a post up is hard enough work as it is, but now stories are playing a big roll in this algorithm as well. Keep posting, and when people reply to your stories, try to respond in a timely manner!
Also, be sure to tag locations & use hashtags in stories! All of these small details can give you a big boost. Another good tip is to shout out other bloggers in your stories- when they message you back & you interact, it shows Instagram you are authentically engaging with people & that’s what this whole algorithm shift is all about. AUTHENTICITY.
♡ CONNECT with others:
Think back to when Instagram first started, you’d get on & just look to see what other people were up to. It wasn’t about signing on solely to see how your post did, it was about catching up with old friends & seeing what was going on with their lives.
This is how Instagram wants to work. They don’t want you to be a selfish Instagram user only signing on to post photos & check analytics.
I can easily get distracted when I get on Instagram. By the time I am done posting a picture/replying to comments or messages/checking how well a post did, I sign off & forgot to even look at anyone else’s content. I am not intentionally being selfish, but just trying to get to my email inbox. This is a no go. Sometimes you gotta just get on Instagram to interact with the people you follow.
If I didn’t already say this, here it is again. Instagram want’s us to be acting more like real people. They want to see us engaging with each other in a real way. So, although you’ve got to get up that epic selfie you took, take a minute to just explore a bit & leave GENUINE real comments. It doesn’t matter how many followers someone has, if you like a photo, comment!!! Don’t do it just to get your name on a big bloggers photo, do it cause you mean it.
♡share what you REALLY enjoy:
Okay, & here we are again with the whole authenticity push. SURE, Amazon should be working with me considering how much I rave about them on my Instagram account, but they aren’t & that doesn’t stop me from authentically sharing my latest Amazon score of the week. More of that, less #ads.
Share things, or people, you actually stand behind on both Instagram & Insta-stories, & always give credit by tagging that brand or person. Not only will this show Instagram you’re being your realest & just a good Instagram citizen (lol), but it will increase engagement cause REAL recognizes REAL. Ya feel?
In the same regard, if someone shares something from you, don’t let it go unnoticed! If you’re tagged in a photo, or 100 photos a day, pop in to say thank you!
♡ post when you have VALUE:
I have lately been noticing a lot of big bloggers decreasing their posting amounts. Instead of three a day, it’s gone down to one a day. Or even one every three days… but when they post, it’s DAMN good content.
We all have our moments when we don’t want to get out of our pajamas or straighten our hair ( me more than others I am pretty sure ), but instead of stressing yourself out & posting a recycled photo… hold off & wait until you come up with something you’re proud of. Maybe it’s the law of attraction on this one, but the more excited you are about what you are posting, the more engagement it will receive & just for good measure- ENGAGEMENT is the key to beating the Instagram algorithm.
HOPE YOU LOVED ERICA ( follow her on Instagram: @fashionlush )! SHE WILL BE BACK.