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Since making the switch to Alinta Energy I have certainly been more mindful of not wasting
money I don’t need to on my power bill, so now I have made these five changes around my
home to make sure I am keeping the money in my pocket and the power bill down. This might not be your jam and you may be sitting there thinking “that’s hubby’s job to worry about that nonsense…” however there are easy things everyone can do to save on their power bill!
1. Switch Off and Unplug Appliances
This is by far the biggest and easiest change to make around your home to keep your
power bill from blowing your budget. Before I go to bed I walk around and turn off and
unplug everything from the TV to the toaster, I keep it all unplugged until I use it again. I
believe this alone has saved me hundreds of dollars in wasted power.
2. Turn Off the Lights
I can’t stand having the lights on in the house actually! So this is a quite easy one for me
to stick to. At night after I have finished cooking I switch off all the lights except the
oven light and I turn on the battery-operated candles I have, and from about 5.30
onwards our house is in “quiet time” which prepares Ever (my daughter) for sleeping. I
only use lights in the house when I absolutely need to, and after checking out ways to
save on my energy bill I have found that it is also good for my power bill – it’s a huge
3. Close the Curtains, Windows and Doors
On a hot day or really cold day for that matter I will run the air con at whatever temp I
need to until the house is either cooled or heated to the temperature I like. I have found
that closing the blinds and windows on a really hot day is enough to keep the house cool
or on a cold day it is enough to keep the warm air inside. I like to do this rather than run
the air con continuously and I have found that even in Queensland weather that it is a
great way to regulate the temperate without having to spend a fortune on continuously
running my air conditioning.
4. Check the Energy Rating
This is one that I never knew about until buying my new fridge. Getting a more energy
efficient product will save you running costs in the long run, the energy star rating can
be found on most of your white goods but be sure to shop around before committing to
a product. Low energy rated products can really hit your wallet in the long run.
5. Hang Your Washing
I live in an apartment which doesn’t have a clothes line, so I have a clothes horse which
for a mama doesn’t really cut it for the size of the washing loads that I do buttttt I do try
to hang my washing at every opportunity I get. It is so easy to chuck it in the dryer
which as a mama is a total lifesaver buttttt also quite costly when it comes to stacking
up the old energy bill. Be a champ – hang it out and spend the money on more
important things – like that mani-pedi that you so deserve.
It is now easier than ever before to save money on your power bill – I can’t believe the savings I have made since being more mindful around the house and since making the switch to Alinta Energy. If you too are wanting to save money on your energy bill, I highly recommend making the switch to Alinta Energy… If not for their incredible 28% pay on time discount off electricity usage charges*because they have recently taken out the 2017 Canstar Blue award for most satisfied customers in Queensland. Now that’s impressive!
CLICK HERE if you are thinking about making the switch or wanting more information on Alinta Energy
28% off your electricity usage charges based on Alinta Energy’s standing tariffs when you pay on time and in full. The tariffs are subject to change. Only available to residential customers in the Energex distribution area. Terms, conditions and eligibility criteria apply
About Alinta:
Alinta Energy is an established national energy company, with a proud history dating back to 1941. They have over 800,000 customers and over 500 employees across Australia. They both generate and retail electricity in Australia, which means they are able to offer extremely competitive pricing.
“At Alinta Energy our mission is to make energy more affordable. We’re doing things differently. We’re going right back to basics. Making energy really simple. The way it should be - more helpful, more transparent and more informative.”
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I was so excited when Alinta Energy asked me to help spread the word about their incredible prices because I made the switch myself a few months ago and I couldn’t believe the savings. I found that with my old provider that I was paying far too much money toward energy that could be going to more important things, as a single mama I am always scoping out the best prices to get more for my money and I really thought Alinta Energy was too good to be true until I received my first bill.
It was considerably less than the bill with my last provider AND I got a rebate AND a pay on
time discount. I originally signed up with Alinta Energy a few months ago and was really happy with their pay on time discount at the time which was 25% off electricity usage charges, I was over the moon to recently get a text message notifying me that they had increased their pay on time discount to 28% which means I am now saving even more and so are all their existing customers. Getting that text message made me really feel like I had made the right choice in switching providers and I couldn’t be happier that as a new customer I felt like I was being rewarded. I have never had a previous company give me money off without me having to ask or really do my research to find out what they had on offer, but with Alinta Energy I was rewarded without asking and received a lovely text message advising me of the change which made my day.
For me, making the switch was a complete no brainer after hearing about their prices and
discount offers and I am so pumped that now I will have more money for the little things in life. I can now afford to take my daughter to her weekly swimming lessons and enjoy more special social outings together. This makes my life so much easier as I don’t have to worry about how much money my energy bill is draining from me.
I have told everyone I know about the difference since making the switch and I am so excited to have partnered with Alinta Energy to let all of you know too.
If you are thinking about making the switch or wanting more information on Alinta Energy and their incredible offers please CLICK HERE
28% off your electricity usage charges based on Alinta Energy’s standing tariffs when you pay on time and in full. The tariffs are subject to change. Only available to residential customers in the Energex distribution area. Terms, conditions and eligibility criteria apply
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Over the last few weeks I have been trialling the new Vorwerk Kobold VK200 Upright Vacuum. I was really excited to trial out this vacuum because it is made by the company who designed the mum hack product of the decade the Thermomix, the first thing I noticed about the vacuum is that it is incredibly light weight. There is nothing worse as a mama than lugging around a heavy vacuum so this ticked a huge box for me, then I switched it on and noticed how quiet it is. I am the mama to a little girl who is terrified of vacuum’s, like I mean screaming till she turns blue the moment I try and do any vacuuming around the house, but the moment I turned this vacuum on instead of running for her life she was curious as to what it was, even wanting to have a try.
It has so many incredible features which you can head in store to see in your own free demonstration but my favourite as a mama are
The fact that it is ideal for Allergy and Asthma Sufferers, its approved by the National Asthma Council
Automatic Floor detection which means it changes its settings on its own from tiles to the rug so that you can get the best and deepest clean for the surface
Easily adjustable handle that’s quite long meaning you don’t have to bend over awkwardly and you can save your back for more important things like bending a million times a day to pick up your toddler
The swivel joint means that I can get into all the areas of my home that need cleaning with ease, I have found that most upright vacuums don’t have this function and let me tell you… it’s a game changer
The power switch is located right there on the handle so you don’t need to bend down constantly to change it
The bags come with the Davina Scent packs which you inset into the side of the vacuum and it fills the house with a nice fragrance while you are cleaning – NO MORE dust smell while vacuuming. I have NEVER seen another vacuum with this feature and it blew me away!
I love that you can purchase additional heads for your vacuum depending on how you will be using it, you can buy the hard floor attachment which vacuums and mops the floor for you with the one head. Interested… Check it out HERE
Having a toddler means that my vacuum cleaners really get put to the test, I have found since using the Vorwerk Kobold VK200 that I now don’t put off vacuuming. It is simple and easy to just quickly grab the vacuum, plug it in and get the job done. I am able to vacuum even when my daughter is sleeping which is a huge bonus for me – If you would like a personal in home demonstration of this home cleaning system then CLICK HERE otherwise simply head into your local Godfrey’s to see a live demonstration.
Check out the link below to see my YouTube video highlighting the key features and to see it in action.
For more information or to buy online CLICK HERE
This has been a sponsored post for Godfreys
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So last weekend I headed to Brisbane for a Staycation in the hustle and bustle of the big city with a toddler in tow, I think whenever you head to a new place or somewhere that you are hoping to see through new eyes your number one agenda is always that you want to know where the locals dine, the locals always know where it is at. They know the best kept secrets, the hottest venues and where the tasty treats are hiding. And with only one weekend to do it I knew the places I wanted to hit.
I was lucky enough to stay right in the heart of the city at the Capri by Fraser on Albert Street, so everything was either on my door step or a 10 minute walk or trip in the car. What I love about Capri by Fraser is that their facilities in house are five star but the prices are still affordable for the everyday family. They were kind enough to offer my audience a great deal of $150 per night for a Studio Deluxe room with complimentary buffet breakfast and parking. If you are wanting to book CLICK HERE and remember that if the code doesn't work try changing your date selection, the code to grab this deal is "LEILA" The buffet breakfast has everything that you could ever dream of - from paleo smoothies and banana bread to bacon eggs and everything in between. I was incredibly impressed with the buffet and all it offered, breakfast is served at their in house cafe called Asana which I ate at the first night after my google maps lost incident - I had the Salt Crusted Lamb which I thoroughly enjoyed. If food is totally your gig like it is mine, check out the full menu HERE to see what you are in for.
Ever and I loved the pool, what is magic about their pool is that it is inside... safe from the hustle and bustle that is roaring outside, safe from the rain... and totally and utterly unique.
On Saturday we decided to head to check out some of the local cafes that had been recommended, first very important tip here is to make sure you download the app WAZEbecause as I found out the hard way google maps doesn't work in the city. Waze was recommended by some of the amazing women here and I am so glad I jumped straight on it, it also alerts you to red light cameras, speeding cameras and lets you know if there is police around. First stop was Greenhaus Coffee which is located in the super trendy Teneriffe, I stopped in for a look around their insta worthy venue (yep I just said that, kinda dorky to say but also very true) they have incredible coffee, tasty treats and little snack pieces that you can't go past. I grabbed the pumpkin and hommus tartine and headed one shop over to check out their sister store Botanica Real Food - Another stunning venue with a shopfront full of cakes that leave you standing there scratching your head as to how on earth you are going to pick just one. Their cupcakes had me going gah gah... if you have a sweet tooth like me... this is a must visit on your list of things to do whilst in Brisbane. Grab yourself a little treat and walk on down to the main street, or if you are like me... head a few blocks over to the Salvos and Vinnies - both open on Saturdays too!
We then headed to Arc + Family which was only a short drive away, known for its pink wall and incredible decor. It has all things home related but their specialty is plants and decor. I loved it because it is unlike anything I had seen before and who doesn't love a good plant, or pink wall for that matter. Cue cute photos of the kids and coming home with a gorgeous new plant! Why not!
Ever and I headed home for a sleep (which turned into me getting my eyes poked out and her not sleeping a wink) So I decided to do something which had previously left me in a ball of nerves - I grabbed the pram, grabbed cranky non sleeping toddler and headed for the ferry terminal, the local ferry terminal to Capri by Fraser is the North Quay Ferry Terminal inbetween Elizabeth and Queen Street, its about a 10-15 minute walk and there is some beautiful architecture on the way. We caught the City Hopper which is a free ferry service that takes you around the city - its quite hot on board so make sure you take plenty of cold water and try to sit outside on the deck if possible. Its wayyyyy cooler out there and plenty more to see too. Ever loved the ferry (once she got used to the idea) and you can't beat a free adventure now right. You can catch the ferry over to Southbank and head to the public pool (which if you haven't seen it is set up like a beach with sand and a water park and everything) and guess what.... ITS FREE!!
Free entertainment for the kids and a chance for you to relax too - and whats even more amazing is that you can catch the ferry and enjoy the water park without even spending a dollar. Ever and I bypassed Southbank because it was far too hot for that and we were both starving and instead we caught the Ferry to Riverbar by getting off at the Eagle Pier stop, Riverbar has always been one of my favourite places in the city for its venue, location and food and drink selection. We grabbed a few juices, sat out under the umbrellas and relaxed before catching the Ferry back to the hotel.
On Saturday night after having a big day (without a nap) I decided to stay local and check out one of the restaurants in walking distance so I could share it with all of you. I chose Kotobuki on Albert Street which was a traditional Japanese restaurant and the best damn sushi I have ever had, so affordable, so quick - I strong recommend their Goyoza. Its nearly directly across from the hotel and a must visit if you are in the area.
Sunday Ever and I had a sleep in and enjoyed some reading in bed (my favourite) because the Capri by Fraser has a late check out of 11am or if you are wanting to check out later you can opt for a 4pm check out for a additional $20 We were told to head to the Northey Street Markets on Sunday which is located at 16 Victoria Street Windsor, they had incredible organic food on offer, live music, chickens and a community garden to check out and a tyre swing and picnic area for you to sit back, relax and enjoy the serenity of the beautiful venue. I even got my eyebrows threaded in a little market stall and she did such a great job, she is located at the front entrance of the market and I highly recommend her.
After the markets I had one more stop on my MUST VISIT list to check out - Mrs Browns Bar which is located in Newstead and owned by a beautiful local couple. Now... This place blew my socks off - not just because of the incredible service but also because of the unique menu which you can see HERE
I wanted one of everything because I had heard amazing things but instead of pigging out like my inner mum gone loose I decided let the waitress choose for me and I ended up with the best of the best
- Chicken and Cheese spring roll - Yep... it is as naughty and as amazing as it sounds
- Prawn roll - which for someone who isn't a big cooked prawn fan I just loved it
- KFC Cauliflower which is Vegan and Gluten Free and is so delicious that I can't describe it, you really do need to try it for yourself
- Vegetarian Dumplings - I gobbled these up within seconds of them hitting the table
My recommendation for this beautiful bar is to ask the staff to recommend you a selection - its more fun that way. And for the mama's on a date night or riding solo - Friday nights is apparently buzzing full of young professionals and a incredible vibe. For the mama's riding with a toddler in tow... Go when we did... wait for Sunday after 11am
Further places to visit that we didnt get the chance to try are
- The Brisbane Ferris Wheel which I have been told is incredible at night - you can grab tickets far cheaper on Groupon by clicking HERE if you are keen to try it out. I know I will be going back and taking Ever to this one
- GOMA which always has plenty of interactive spaces for kids CLICK HERE to check out current exhibitions and pricing
Checking out Brisbane with my little one has been one of my favourite adventures to date, I will never forget the look on her face as we went on our first ferry ride together or the way that she walked around the city with me taking it all in. If you are after a dreamy staycation or a little vacation exploring a new city then head on over and check it out now.
Our next adventure will be the locals guide to the Gold Coast, all my favourite places will be featured in a VLOG so if thats something you have been hanging to hear then sit tight...
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So... I have had to be in hospital with Ever a few times since she was born, I always call 13 HEALTH first to determine if that is the best place for us... There was the time she over heated, the time she fell off the couch in a split second and is now sporting a huge scar right between the eyes, there is that time that she had a allergic reaction to the vaccine and this current time that she had a small scratch on her toe that has spread to her blood and lymph nodes, we are still figuring out if that is exactly what happened... but I am praying for the toe option.
During every trip to the ER I have thought "gosh I wish I had that" and I have written it down and added it to my EMERGENCY HOSPITAL BAG that I keep in the car. There is nothing worse than hospital with your little one and you dont want to be court out like I was the first time with absolutely nothing you need. I was freezing, Ever was cold and all I wanted was a wash cloth and some hand sanitiser.
So I thought I would share my Emergency Hospital Bag with you all in the hope that it helps just one person, I keep this bag in my boot and double check my list before leaving for the hospital because it is the little things that can make a stay in hospital that much better.
- Bubbles, Ipads, Toys (as nice as it is for the hospital staff to give your little one toys from their stash I would politely decline)
- Books to read
- Pencils and Colouring in Book
- Hand sanitiser (I like the one from Stayzon skin as it comes in a little travel size)
- Linen Spray (I spray our beds daily with linen spray so I feel it gives the comfort of home smell and makes Ever feel more comfortable)
- Electric Candles (I grabbed mine from Kmart and they have been coming everywhere with us, I got the staff to turn off all the lights in our room and just had the candles going) don't store these in the car though.
- Diffuser and oils that compliment your little ones illness (grab this before ducking out the door, don't store in the car)
- Toothbrushes and travel toothpaste (just keep cheap ones in the car, you do not want to be speaking with the doctor after not brushing your teeth for days on end)
- Extra nappies and wipes (the hospital does stock nappies should you need them)
- Painting smock and bib (if your little one has a vomiting virus or does begin to throw up its good to have both of these handy)
- Warm Socks with grippys for you and your little one
- Warm clothes for the both of you
- Easy access loose clothes for your little one
- Warm Blanket (Lets be honest the blankets in the hospital are never warm enough, I always keep a big picnic style blanket in the car so I was so lucky to have that with me)
- Your laptop or iPad (long waits for the doctor and a lot of sitting around watching your babe sleep)
- Headphones (in case you want to watch a movie or listen to a meditation or podcast)
- Dry Shampoo
- PHONE CHARGER (you do not want to get stuck without this one, this was my only way to get support as we tend to be in hospital alone)
- Clean underwear
- any of your roller blends
- deodorant
If you are not a car kit kinda girl (I even have a first aid kit in my car haha) then just keep the list handy either in your phone or on the fridge.
I have found that these few little things made our time much more comfortable, Ever would not stop touching everything in sight so I was grabbing the hand sanitiser a lot - the stayzon hand santiser lasts for 24 hours so that gave me piece of mind that she was protected. It is always freezing cold in hospitals and you may be put in the same room as someone who is quite ill so I turned my hoodie around and had it over my mouth a lot. I was so grateful for the blanket because it was cold at night and Ever was unable to wear clothes properly due to all the cords she had on her arm. I asked the nurses to turn off all the lights and I just had the candles on which offer a nice glow and definitely made Ever feel more comfortable in the surroundings. She managed to sleep well in the noisy hospital which was a huge relief because I knew she really needed her rest.
Hopefully you don't need the kit but I promise that when you do, you will be so happy that you have the essentials with you.
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So you want to get back into the dating game?? Heres what I recommend...
Dating as a single mother is completely different to dating as a single woman... no matter how hard you try to be that carefree single woman while you are on a date and leave all that mama stuff behind the minute you close the door - you can't. Your heart will forever be in two places at once and subconsciously you will find yourself looking at this potential date screening him to see if he is the type of person you would feel safe having your children around, you will without even realising it be adding up a little tally in your head about his traits, and the type of role model you could potentially see him being, you will be looking to see if you have a connection with this person all the while wondering if they would have the same connection with your children and you will try in vain to snap out of these thoughts telling yourself "just be in the moment and enjoy it" or "dont take it too seriously and read into it too much" but the truth of the matter is - if you are a mother, you come with a plus one and although you are putting your heart on the line by entering into dating... there is a lot more at stake than just getting your heart broken.
Now in saying all of that I want you to know that you can't get into the dating game until you are ready and my sign of ready came from asking myself these questions "Who am I now??" and "What do I want??" so write that down on a piece of paper and answer those questions in whatever form it means to you... Who are you NOW and What do you want?? Are you drawing blanks or madly scribbling on the piece of paper already?
Now... Why those questions... I believe that being ready to date, like REALLY ready comes from fully knowing who we are again after our last relationship, it comes from fully healing whatever baggage we acquired in our last adventure in love, its fully knowing what went wrong and our part in it, It is unpacking all of the bullshit that you need to sort through after something you loved doing ended and someone you loved became someone you knew.
After any break up it is a journey back to YOU... it is a long winded journey of self discovery back to the person you were before you became an "us" or a "we" and I believe that it is only after that journey that you can answer the questions of "Who am I" NOW... Who am I... after the lesson, after the love, after the breakdown, break up and break apart.
I believe the person we are after a big life change such as a break up says a lot about the person we are seeking out... I believe ONLY in fully knowing who we are will we meet someone that sees us for who we are, and only in knowing the true answer to "Who am I NOW" will we be able to see what we need to change if anything about being the type of person we want to bring into our lives. I love the quote "be who you want to attract" and I feel in dating that is such a strong phase to keep at the forefront of your mind.
I hear of so many women that have such large lists they want to fill when it comes to dating, I mean lists that are all physical appearance based - like... I want him to be tall, dark and handsome... don't we all... but on the top of my list is - I want him to have kind eyes, I want him to have empathy and I want him to be open minded. Having standards is paramount but just make sure that those standards are set for the right reasons - looks fade, six packs can disappear and hair will eventually grey or start to fall out... but having someone who is kind, who is empathetic and who sees you even on your darkest of days... that will never grow old.
Now don't be afraid to sit alone with yourself and ask yourself, like REALLY ask yourself "What do I want" from life, from dating, from love or whatever it may be that came up for you when you said that question in your head... So many people struggle with this question, so many people can't answer it because in answering it, it can make them vulnerable to being hurt, it can make them vulnerable to being open, to being judged, to scarily not being able to live up to what they actually want from life. Step one is being honest with yourself about what you want and step two is being fierce enough to go after it, step two is being brave enough to share it with any potential people that could be in your future, step two is standing in your power and laying it out and putting it on the table and saying "this is what I want" and sometimes the most terrifying thing of all, the one person that you need to lay it out to - sometimes that person is yourself.
For me I was terrified to answer that question - I wrote it down and sat with it for a few days, stopping to think about it in my spare moments alone, daydreaming over it at the traffic lights, thinking in the shower about what the question meant for me and finally when I got the answer that I knew I would always somehow come to, I was terrified - I had admitted it to myself what I wanted and I realised that I now had to live up to that. I now had to really start to take that seriously and I really had to make it a priority in my life instead of dancing around it as if it wasn't there. Saying what you want out of life means that you could potentially live with regret if you don't meet your own life's goals and no body and no one likes regret. Regret is something that will keep you up at night, regret will haunt you, it will follow you around and poison your mind and regret can be a real buzz kill to sort through... So in order to meet someone in our lives and in order to be shiny diamond clear on what we want and expect from someone else we first need to answer that question of ourselves and we need to be prepared to act with whatever that question brings up for us, and more than that... we need to be prepared to voice it.
Since entering the dating game as a single mother I have learnt a lot about myself, since having Ever and starting to date I can be confident in my choices because I know two things Who I am NOW and What I want... and I am not afraid to edit my life ruthlessly if I feel that people don't deserve to share it. I wish I had of asked myself these questions when I was a young teenager entering dating, because although I feel my answers would have been different back then, I would have been more aware of the WHY behind it all, of my WHY behind it all.
Dating in 2018 is akin to surviving the war - you are completely unsure about who is behind enemy lines, who is real and who is fake, who is genuine and who is just getting in a relationship to work their shit out on your watch and there are land mines every fucking where...so I believe the trick to dating is to know who you are at the very core of yourself, who you are in the quiet moments, who you are in the social scenarios and who you are when you sit back and realise that you are some kind of magic.. a living soul in a breathing body who is 60% water and 40% fucking miracle. The trick to dating is to know the answer to what you want and to be brave enough to say it out loud to yourself and if you are really ballsy to share it with those that don't fit the criteria.
I get asked this question all the time "but how will I know when I am ready to date and where do I start"you start with the questions "Who Am I NOW and What do I want" and I feel this also applies to people who are married and in a bit of a slum "Who Am I NOW and What do I Want" sometimes this answer takes a while to come to you, sometimes you have to sit with the wholeness of the question and really feel the words swirling around your head, sometimes they sit on a blank page for days before you can be real enough with yourself to answer them - but the only thing I can tell you is to ask them, tell other people to ask them, tell your sister, your friend, that colleague at work that never has luck in the dating game, tell your brother who you can see is clearly dating yet another tacky woman that is wrong for him... just tell them... maybe if enough people in the world asked themselves these two simple questions then we wouldn't have people running around causing havoc on peoples hearts, we wouldn't have people who walk away from relationships as if people are as disposable as the coffee cups we drink from and we wouldn't have people who rebound with people just for the sake of not being alone.
Maybe if more people sat in the truth of their answers to these questions then dating in 2018 wouldn't be such a fucking minefield. Bumble and Tinder as great as they are for seeking out the single have done us quite the dis service when it comes to dating - people are now more disposable than ever before, the guy with the abs gets more airtime than the nice guy with kind eyes, the woman with legs for days gets more swipe rights than the woman who can hold a decent conversation and if you even make it past the swipe right stage then you had better play your cards right otherwise there are women by the dozen that can replace you with the flick of a thumb... there is no way to escape how hard dating can be... so know yourself, know the answer to these two questions, hold the answers close to your heart and call on them in moments of doubt. If you feel as though you aren't connecting then ask yourself these questions again.
Dating is exciting, meeting new people always gives us a buzz of possibility or at the very least a new viewpoint or different perspective than the one we had before. Since dating I have learnt what I am willing to tolerate as a single woman and what I am looking for in a man as a single mother. Its been trial and error, its been thrilling to see myself as the woman in dating I am now... knowing the answer to these two questions has given me unbelievable strength and confidence - knowing who you are and what you want is pure magic and it has released me to see not only myself but the potential men in my life more clearly.
Here is a link to a beautiful meditation that will help you AFTER you have answered these two questions CLICK HERE to LISTEN
Oh and one more thing BE WHO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT
As usual babes - I am here if you want to chat via info@thesinglemumdiaries.com and for any story submissions or advertising please email above.
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I have had so many requests from all of you to share my baby name list, I was really hesitant to do so because it is a list that I have had for years. Keeping it in my phone notes and adding to it when I stumbled upon a name I liked, never knowing if I would use it but treasuring it anyway.
Since starting it I have held it close to my heart, never showing anyone except Ever's father just after we found out we were having Ever. We added to it and dreamt up a few names that felt right for Ever but I knew in my heart I would never call her by any other name.
I have found some of the names in words I like in magazines, others by stumbling across a name yelled out in the supermarket and some are even peoples surnames I came across while working in the corporate world.
Girls Names
Ever - Forever, Eternally, Always
Boys Names
Middle Names
We ended up with Ever Lacey which I didn't feel suited her but I really liked the story and sentimentality behind it. I since then can't wrap my head around it and I have gone with Ever Lane which still has the sentiment of Lacey's Lane in Currumbin but its just more free flowing and suits her better. I always get asked about my name list so there it is for all of you - share it if you like, pinch from it if you need to. Or if you feel you have any other names you would like to add to it please do let me know and I will update the list. I think if I was to have another baby I will give it a name which I have kept off the list for that rainy day or just in case moment that I might have another little one to grace my life.
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I recently sat down with Whitney who is not only a former single mother to twin girls who have just turned four but she is also a mother to Chevy David Stone, the son that her and her new partner Adam never got to bring home. I have always heard of pregnancy loss as a whisper that no one really wants to talk about, for many of us it is our worst nightmare and for some of us it is a cold and hard reality, just like my situation I felt that there would be many women who feel alone when it comes to pregnancy loss because it is one of those 'taboo" subjects that putting it bluntly, people don't really know how to talk about. It was for that reason alone that I decided to reach out to Whitney to ask her if she wouldn't mind sharing some insight into life after loosing a baby. I thank you whitney for sharing your story with us, your bravery and strength is inspiring to not only myself but each and every person that will read your journey.
So you have two gorgeous twin daughters, tell me about the moment you found out you were having twins? It must have given you all the feels...
Honestly I was in shock, totally unexpected. I went into my Gynaecologist appointment knowing I was pregnant due to a home pregnancy test, but also knowing I had an ovarian cyst, which was causing me a lot of pain. He did an internal ultrasound and said “theres two”... “two what?” I responded (thinking there were two cysts.) “Two Heartbeats” ... I burst into tears and said some profanities, to which my obstetrician responded... “Is there anyone with you? Is there someone we can call?” Luckily my mum was in the waiting room. All I could think of was the expense, two cots, two car seats, two high chairs, two of everything!!!
*What was pregnancy like carrying two babies, I know within myself I had moments of struggle with just carrying one?
I was extremely sick my whole pregnancy. I had 6 weeks in the second trimester where I felt “normal.” I had a lot of fluid retention to a point where I would have to lay with my legs elevated against a wall and ice strapped to them. To be honest I never felt that pregnancy glow, nor did I enjoy it. The only part I loved and found absolutely amazing was feeling my girls kick and move inside me... a feeling I will never forget.
I think one of the most beautiful questions I ask people is “tell me about the day you became a mother, what was it like for you”
I remember sitting in the pre op room (as i had a scheduled cesarean) and discussing the twins names. We had 6 names to choose from but we wanted to wait to see them, before we named them. I was told that I wouldn't get to hold the twins as they would be rushed straight to special care. But I did infact get to hold them for a short period of time. I remember when they held up Narla and I cried as she was so tiny, the obstetrician then said.. “wait till you see the other baby, she is so much smaller.” And that she was! They were both so tiny and precious, weighing 1.8kgs and 1.4kgs and only 40cm long.
Run me through a day in the life with twins?
The twins have just turned 4. They are such good children, we are extremely lucky. They still sleep for 1.5 hours during the day, and sleep 11 hours overnight. Im quite strict so their their behaviour and manners are usually spot on. We normally go out in the mornings for play dates, and to run errands. Then most afternoons are spent at home or down at our local creek.
How do you manage two different little personalities with their own sets of needs? What are their personalities like?
The twins have two different personalities, but they swap! One will wake up and be naughty all morning, then after their day sleep, they swap! Its like they conspire at sleep time and switch personalities. In saying that, they are never naughty together, its either one or the other. Nevaeh is very girlie and quiet, she loves her skirts and dresses, has to have her hair all pretty and choose her own outfits. Narla on the other hand is loud, happy with a pony tail, and to run around in her undies.
You have been through your own journey to single mum, tell me about that?
I left the twins dad when they were just 5 months old, as he wasn't willing to give up his old lifestyle to become a parent. I left our marital home and moved in with my parents, taking the twins with me. The first year was tough, until I grew wiser and learnt to stop putting up with my ex husbands nonsense. I also had to let go of the hope, that one day he might actually step up and support his children. I know one day the twins will realise and appreciate all that I do and have done for them.
You now have a beautiful partner Adam tell me about how you two met? You seem like such a beautiful couple
Adam and I actually met through a family member. He use to pop over for a drink with my dad while I was living with my parents. He had recently split from his partner due to her being unfaithful. Adam actually asked my dad if he could take me out (cute hey!) and from our first date we got on like a house on fire and our love blossomed.
What was it like integrating a new man into life with your gorgeous twin daughters? He seems to have taken to the role like a total natural
Oh my goodness I cannot give Adam enough credit! He is an absolute natural! At first I didn't allow Adam around the twins, we would just go on dates together once the twins were in bed for the night. I was worried that if our relationship didn't work out, there would be another man leaving the twins life and I didn’t want that for them, children need stability.
After a while I started meeting Adam at the playground or the beach with the twins and introduced them that way, they bonded so quickly and I just knew it was right. It wasn't long until Adam was over most afternoons helping me with witching hour, and the night time routine. He absolutely adores the twins, and the feeling is reciprocal.
Tell me about life with a father figure in the twins life? What’s it like? How has he felt joining in with your little family?
Adam is the main male role model in the twins life, as we all live together as a family unit. Adam totally supports the twins and I, providing us with the best life possible. He is always here for us. Adam absolutely loves the twins, he has always wanted to have a family of his own. He is fantastic with the twins and treats them as if they are his own. We are incredibly lucky that he has come into our lives. Some days are tough for him, but thats understandable raising someone else's children.
You and Adam have recently gone through the trauma of losing your first baby together, tell me about that?
Losing Chevy was the most horrendous thing we have ever been through. Its absolutely heart breaking and I feel the pain will never leave. I had pain and bleeding on and off from 8 weeks pregnant, my obstetrician was away so I had a “fill in” obstetrician take care of me. We were scanned every few days and reassured everything was ok, it wasn't until our 20 week scan that we found out the devastating news. Losing our first child together (and adams first child) obviously had a huge impact on our lives, our relationship and the twins. But we have all pulled together and helped each other through the difficult times.
Tell me how did you find out there was something wrong?
It wasn't until our 20 week scan that the sonographer picked up that Chevy had a condition called Severe Ventriculomegaly with no chance of survival (a 1 in 5000 chance), which basically means he had a blockage on his brain and the fluid could not escape. This resulted in his brain tissue not developing. I will never forget the moment we were told. The doctors were talking to us in medical terms and all I kept saying was tell me straight, will he survive or not. I just wanted the answer in black and white, no beating around the bush. I remember not being able to breathe, I was hysterical and then I started vomiting. So many emotions and thoughts flooded my body, one of the lowest points in my life, I felt so much pain and heart ache. Momma guilt automatically kicked in, was it the sushi I ate? Was it the 2 pieces of soft cheese I ate? Was it the new exercise program I had started? I was reassured that it wasn't anything I had done, and the results from the test they did on the placenta and umbilical cord proved just that. It was just a totally unfortunate situation, that no one could have prevented. All Chevy’s results came back clear, which was a relief that there were no issues with chromosomes, infections or Adam and I not being compatible (this is actually a thing), but at the same time it made it harder as there were no reasons as to why this happened to our little man.
How did you break the news to your family and the twins?
I remember Adam trying to pay the ultrasound bill and he couldn't remember the pin number on our card. I was standing outside as i couldn't face a full waiting room of pregnant women. I called my mom... I cant remember my exact words, but I told her that Chevy had a blockage on his brain and he wasn't going to make it. We went straight home and mom ended up having the twins for the night while we tried to process the gut wrenching news we had just been told. We didn't tell the twins until a few days after giving birth to Chevy.
You had to deliver your little boy Chevy David Stone tell me what happened in those moments after you delivered him?
We found out about Chevys condition on the Monday afternoon, 24 hours later we were in my obstetricians office discussing our long list of questions (of course wanting answers why) and what the next steps were. Two hours later we were back at the hospital getting ready to be induced. I had a horrendous 18 hour labour, where I reacted to the medication resulting in my temperature spiking, vomiting and uncontrollable shaking, I ended up having an epidural as it all became to much for me. After 18 hours, they realised that Chevy had become stuck in the birth canal. He had come out sideways, so this then resulted in surgery to have him removed. Obviously I was to drowsy to see our little man that night after the anaesthetic, but they brought him into us the next morning, where we held him, cried and said our good byes.
How did you cope in the coming days, what emotions did you go through?
To be honest I didn't cope at all, I fell into an absolute heap, I couldn't get out of bed. It got to a stage where Adam couldn't be around me because he was obviously dealing with the death of his first child as well as trying to be strong for me. I ended up with an infection in my uterus, and ended up back in hospital resulting in another operation to make sure everything had definitely been removed. So the first week and a half were terrible.
Once home from hospital the second time, I pulled myself together and went and saw a psychologist, who gave me strategies to cope with my heartbreak and overwhelming feelings. Adam became very angry, and over little things that normally wouldn't phase him.
Did you have a strong support network helping you through it?
I had a fantastic support network. Obviously Adam, my absolute rock. Not once did he leave my side during the whole ordeal. I kept telling him to go for a walk, get some fresh air, or go have a beer as the labour was so long and slow, and I would call him as soon as anything happened. But he refused to leave my side. And of course our families. We put a post up on Facebook about losing Chevy and asked all of our friends to respect our privacy and not contact us. At that point in time I didn't want contact from anyone, everyone kept saying how sorry they were and it only made me more angry... I remember thinking... why the hell are you all apologising, there was nothing anyone could have done.
I can only imagine the heart ache that it would have been for you, how did Adam and the twins cope with it all?
Adam was my absolute rock, he obviously showed emotion but he was so strong for me. He did become very angry at the little things in life, but has since seeked help to deal with the loss of his first child.
The twins had a lot of questions which were incredibly hard to answer, as we didn't have the answers ourselves. It took them a while to comprehend that their little brother would no longer be coming into the world. But they still talk about him to this day, each night we light a candle for Chevy (next to his ashes) and before the twins go to bed they blow it out and say good night to him.
I remember reading that you consulted a child’s Psychologist on the best way to break the news to the twins, tell me what did they recommend?
I booked in to see a child psychologist as i wanted to know the best way to tell the twins (as they had never dealt with a death before), her advice was to be completely honest with them and answer all questions openly and honestly. She advised NOT to tell them that Chevy had gone to sleep and not woken, as that will create a fear for them to go to bed at night. So we sat on our lounge and told the twins Chevy had died (the hardest words that were to come out of my mouth). Then the questions started, why? where is he? When will he be coming home? Is he still in your tummy? We just took our time and together, hand in hand, answered the twins questions.
How are you and your family going now? Tell me what life has been like after going through such a life altering experience?
We are doing well, we have our little man home now and his ashes are in our lounge room accompanied by a fresh bunch of flowers, his candle and his star certificate which was named after him (a lovely and thoughtful gift from my girlfriend and her family). We also had Chevy’s hands and feet done in moulds. The twins talk about Chevy daily and all the adventures they would have taken him on. We still find it very difficult to deal with but feel we are getting stronger each day. They say time heals pain, I don't believe this is true, but I do believe it gets easier to cope with.
You have recently started blogging via Instagram to share your story and raise awareness about Chevy’s condition. I know from my own experience that writing about it can really help you move through the emotions. Have you found that voicing what you went through has helped you cope?
Yes absolutely. At first it was very difficult to talk about, I still have emotional days, but I feel so much stronger 5 months on. Id like to reach out and let other women and families know that they are not alone. When you lose a child you feel very alone, like your the only one going through it, and your whole world is falling apart. It feels as though no one could possibly understand what you are going through. But what I learnt was, I wasn't the only one, there are actually a lot of people going through a similar situation, you just don't hear about it. Chevy’s case is rare, but pregnancy loss unfortunately isn’t. If anyone is needing support, or would like to discuss pregnancy loss, Chevy’s condition etc, please add me on Instagram and I will answer all questions and support you to the best of my ability. My Instagram name is: whitneykate01
Also a big question I have always wanted to ask is “Do you prefer people to ask about Chevy and how you are going since his passing or do you prefer to keep it between just yourself and your family”
Yes I absolutely want people to ask and talk about Chevy. Even though we lost him at 19 weeks, he is still our son and he will never be forgotten. We celebrated (and will continue to celebrate) Chevy’s anniversary 23rd of August, as well as the date he was meant to be born 9th of January. Like I previously stated, I am open for anyone to ask me questions about pregnancy loss, or reach out for support on my Instagram.
What advice do you have for other women that are going through the trauma of losing a child?
It is bloody hard, you feel like your whole world has fallen apart. There are so many emotions, some you will have never felt before. But you will get through this, you will day by day get stronger. Make sure you have a great support team around you (even though u want to be left alone). And don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. I honestly believe that seeing a psychologist after losing Chevy helped me immensely.
I feel sometimes others don’t really know how to help in those situations so what advice do you have for someone supporting a friend or family member through the grieving process? What kind of support has helped you the most?
There is nothing anyone can say or do. Just be present and there waiting when the mother/family is ready to talk. Even if you go and sit on their lounge next to them, and watch a movie... there doesn't need to be a conversation. Hold them when they cry, let them know u are there for them and ready to support them (again when they are ready, in their own time).
And the little things go a long way, my girlfriend made meals for us which we lived off, as Adam and I just couldn't function. Another friend came and folded our washing. The everyday things, that need doing, but have understandably been temporarily let go.
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day being a mama, a partner and working to share your experience with us. I will never know the sheer heart ache that you and your family have been through but I can honestly say that in sharing your story you will help women all over the world move through their own grief. Its not easy sharing life experiences that changed us, but it is important to connect + support + inspire through sharing glimpses into our worlds as mama no matter how hard it may be for us to do so.
If you have your own story that you would like to share with the community please email info@thesinglemumdiaries.com with "Guest Post Submission" in the subject line.
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I love it when I stumble across the perfect denim jacket because lets all face it, they ain't easy to come by. So I found the perfect denim jacket for when the weather starts to cool a little and I had a thought "Maybeeee I should personalise it" because it would be perfect for that.
So I headed into lincraft to find some Iron on letters which you can see HERE
they are a total steal at $2.20 each which makes this DIY just $8.80 to create. Each letter takes 20-50 seconds to iron on - so in just a few minutes you are all done.
These are the steps if you wanna personalise your own denim jacket
2. Buy your iron on letters or motifs of your choice via the link above
3. Wash your jacket with very minimal detergent, dry and iron it ready for personalising
4. Grab your iron and plug it and set it to the heat mentioned on your motif
5. Lay out your jacket ready for the transfer, put a large thick book inside the jacket so it holds position and makes it an even surface to iron on
6. Lay your letters or motif in place evenly, measure from each side to side to ensure it is in the middle
7. Lay a tea towel or thin piece of material over the top of the motifs to protect them from any damage from the heat of the iron, iron one motif on at a time paying attention to the directions on the packet. If they aren't sticking its because your iron has not heated enough yet
How to style the perfect denim jacket is never a problem but regardless ill be showing you that too so keep your eyes peeled for that one.
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[ New mama me, trying to do it all, be it all... left me exhausted ]
As a parent social media can leave you feeling defeated, with one quick scroll of the thumb you have seen a mum baking organic gluten free cookies that make your toast for breakfast look like child abuse, you can see a mum with a 8 pack and no stretch marks in sight with more children than the octomom and end up judging yourself harshly for not taking your morning walk, you can stumble across a working mum that still manages to do everything according to the parenting books while effortlessly maintaining her social channels and you can wonder how you can’t even run a house let alone an office as well, you can see a mum with her child dressed immaculately in Chanel as she smiles for the camera like nothing throughout the day has bothered her at all and that leaves you looking down at your vegemite stained white tee in despair that even a four year old can rock Chanel without staining it. You can see mums that carry their babies around posing with their Birkin in front of their luxury car while maintaining an entire empire, husband and dog as you struggle to remember when the last time you brushed your hair was… or come to think of it your teeth. And it can leave you standing in front of the mirror wondering “Am I good enough”
Since entering the world of social media at such a crucial time in my life’s journey I have seen an entire wave of influencers that glamourize motherhood in such a way that it worries me for the young women that follow them. These women aren’t doing anything wrong in sharing their beautiful, well styled and poised lives but let’s face it… motherhood aint glamourous, it does have its beautiful moments usually while watching your little one sleep through a monitor, it is only ever well styled for a few seconds before someone madly tears apart your styling like a hurricane gone wild and as far as poised… motherhood is anything but. Just this morning alone I have had a nappy blow out, a dog sized human poo on my beautiful white rug and working from home means dodging boogies that my pint sized mini keeps trying to rub on me while forgetting what I was typing and madly trying to rush through my to-do list in every minute of free time I have. Motherhood is hard enough without having society’s almost ancient views that women should be seen and not heard jammed down our throats while trying to find a place to connect + support + inspire… sometimes I see these social accounts with these barbie like women strutting around in heels pushing prams with an inspirational quote underneath and I want to scream “Be fucking real, share the fucking behind the scenes in the five minutes before that photo was taken, share the baby screaming in the pram like a demon possessed, share the vomit on your shirt and the unwashed hair, share the reality of motherhood not some sudo fake bullshit to get you more likes” and save the poor young girl that’s hash tagging goals on your photo from the reality of motherhood smacking her in the face like a freight train because she thought that it would be just like all the photos she sees on the internet.
Motherhood is not glamourous in any kind of way, it is hard, you are in the trenches day in and day out, you forget your own name because you are too busy making sure someone else can spell theirs. You forget what it was like to be who you are because the mum in you starts to grow and seep through your veins, the mum starts to take over every single part of your brain and even when you do get five minutes alone all you are doing in your solo time is thinking about how you could be a better mother, all you are thinking about is do they have everything they need, do you need to cook or meal plan or bake. Becoming a mother is beautiful – yes… it is growing outside of who you are and if you are lucky taking the very best parts of yourself with you. It is also gut wrenching, there are moments when you cry into a towel, or scream in the shower, there are moments that your knees hit the floor and all you fucking want is five minutes of peace or two minutes of a clean house so you can feel like you have some sort of control over your own life.
I know as a mother I come to social media to find my tribe, I come to watch the funny stories that other mothers are having throughout their day, I come to see the harsh reality and know that I am not alone in this crazy beautiful ride, I come to read and laugh and connect with other women that are having one of “those” mum days. I love following women who are truthful to the core of who they are, I love following women who share and over share and speak their truth proudly, I love following women who share not only their bodies but also little parts of their soul with the wider world just because they know how isolating this gig and everything that comes with it can be. I take my hat off to women that can run an entire empire, a household, a husband and a baby while effortlessly posing on Instagram like it aint no thing but what I love more is the women that do all that while showing you the hard work behind the scenes, the women that say yes I have all of these beautiful things but this is the hard work it took to get it. I love it when I see a mother that can bounce back from pregnancy like a rubber band but I appreciate her even more when she openly shares the blood, sweat and tears that it took to get her there. I appreciate her even more when I see her connecting + supporting + inspiring her audience not because she wants to see her bank account rising or her followers growing but because she wants to help people. There is nothing more inspiring than a mother who proudly shares her body for the world to see that hasn’t bounced back, not for lack of trying but just because each body is different, and every mother is different – stretch marks are a part of motherhood, extra skin comes with the gig, saggy boobs, stray pubes, beautiful whispy hairs that can never be tamed, bigger thighs, tired eyes and everything in between. The magic is in sharing those moments that you are thinking “gosh I’m disgusting, or gosh that was disgusting, or fuck that’s embarrassing” they are the moments that other women will be dying to hear about, they are the “thank god someone else relates” moments, they are the “I’m not alone” moments that connect us not only as mothers but also as women that are going through one common thing together – the transition from being a woman to being a mother.
I feel like as a mother we are constantly transitioning from one thing to another, caring for a newborn is different to parenting a toddler, parenting a toddler is no where near the same as disciplining a child – Different moments in motherhood call on different areas of us to evolve and it is hard not to lose sight of who you are amongst all of the growth. What we need amongst all of this growth is to be able to connect with women who tell it like it is, we need to connect with women who say “I didn’t just fall effortlessly into being a mother and being maternal, I fucking struggled and every single day I have to focus on learning how to be maternal and growing into the mother I want to be” We need to see women who bare it all – from stretch marks to, saggy skin.. We need to see women in their puke stained t shirt talking about how she hasn’t washed her hair in two weeks. We need to talk about the fact that so many of us can’t laugh or jump up and down anymore because our pelvic floor is so weak that our insides might actually fall out. We need to talk about the fact that breastfeeding is a fucking marathon and there are cutesy little classes about it with crochet boobs and fluffy talks about nipples because in the dead of night when its 2am and its just you and your screaming and hungry baby and you can’t get the nipple in their mouth because they can’t latch, or because they are full of wind and wont suck, or because heaven forbid they have a tongue tie or a small palette or reflux or colic… you actually think you might die and the people running those classes are hoping that by some strike of miracle that despite the chaos around you that you will be able to call on the knowledge you learnt. We need to discuss that it is okay to ask questions about vaccinations for our little ones, we need to be able to say “I want more information” we need to be able to say “I want to know why, I want to know what’s in it” without living in fear of asking a question without having people jump down our throats with a bunch of statistics and opinions. We need to be able to seek out information and make informed decisions for the good of our own little families whatever they may be. We need to talk about our births openly and without fear of judgement, we need to be able to say “this is how I birthed and I am proud of myself for it” We need to scroll Instagram and not feel like our birth is not valid because we didn’t breathe our baby out, because we didn’t birth in a tub of flowers, or because we screamed for drugs at 8cm and swore and sweated all over the place. We need to talk about the dreaded tear and the healing afterwards that leaves you permanently scarred for life.
Being a mother doesn’t mean that you automatically learn how to flat lay, it doesn’t mean that all of a sudden your photography skills are at professional level and you take to Instagram like a swan to water. You don’t magically know how to Kmart hack or pinterest bake and you don’t get a handbook “how to start a online business once you become a mother” Being a mother doesn’t mean that we need to stand in our kitchen for 8 hours slaving over some creation we saw on the gram, trying to perfect it to take a photo to gain recognition that we are indeed a “good mother”
We talk about “No bad kids” and that every child is good at heart but I never hear people say “there are no bad mothers” we are so quick to judge one another because our values don’t align with another’s, or because we live and breathe differently to the woman next to us. We are so quick to say that social media is exploitation and not exploration, we are so quick to laugh at the women that are good at it and judge the ones that aren’t. Becoming a mother doesn’t mean that it’s all flower filled baths in the sink, and twinkle lights as they sleep, being a mother isn’t all jogging in your active wear while your hair perfectly flows behind you, it’s not all matching clothes and cutesy toes and nurseries that make you swoon. It’s not all over the top birthdays and balloon photos against white walls – Being a mother is about doing the very best you can with what you have, being a mother is showing up when your little ones needs you not grabbing your phone or camera every time they do something cute so you can up your own anti, being a mother is spew and poo and nights that go on forever, its bags under your eyes and vomit on your shirt, its shit in your hair and loving more than you clean and cleaning more than you love. There is nothing in my life that could have prepared me for it, but there is some beautiful god send that has come with motherhood and that is all of you. I lost a relationship, gained a baby, lost myself and found myself again… and amongst all of the chaos there has been my tribe, the women that have supported me some without even knowing it, whether through an Instagram story that has left me laughing thinking “thank fuck I am not alone” or through a long winded Instagram post that let me know “YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH” whether sharing my life has made you reach out and offer words of advice or a comment of “you have got this” has come through at a time I needed it most.
Remember when worrying about what to share on the gram that perfect is lovely and all, but resonating… resonating with another no matter the distance between you is where it’s at. And remember when scrolling that some people share the highlights of their lives because for them that’s what makes them feel good and that’s what they love. Remember that a picture really does hold a thousand words and people don’t always share them, some prefer to have an air of perfection and a hidden reality amongst all the smoke and mirrors. Always be the one that shares, always be the one that stands up and says this is who I am and does it bravely, always be the mama to reach out… to connect + support + inspire through the imperfect, through the bad days, and the failures. Always be the one that gives the reality a run for its money and the tears a wipe away. And next time that you ask yourself “am I good enough” share whatever made you feel that way, take that photo, upload and I bet you that despite your fears, despite your embarrassment, despite your criticism of yourself, despite your nitpicking and the words in your head that said “am I good enough” that you will inspire other women to step forward and say “I feel the same way” you will inspire other mothers to step forward and say “I thought I was the only one” – Instagram is a 1% view into someone’s life, it’s a heavily filtered, thought out arena where words are edited and photos are perfected – reality… it is not… but try as much as you can to strive for the real, to seek out the truth and share the love.
As mothers it is our duty to let other women know about the gig, I was gobsmacked when I entered motherhood – Like I mean… Absolutely fucking gobsmacked to the point where I just sat there staring at her for a good few hours in awe of this little person that I had created and in shock at all the concerns and worries that had started to flood in. I remember the pressure, the absolutely insane pressure that I put on myself to do it all, to be a good mother, to keep up with my socials and my work. The pressure I put on myself to be one of the ones to bounce back and style my baby, and take great photos and provide it all, do it all and be it all. I learnt a lot in those early days and I know now that its not the photos that are important, sure I still take photos and sure I still share them with all of you – but when it comes to Ever I prefer my shots to be candid, I prefer them to be taken amongst us just going about our day and life just flowing on by. I like to share those moments that I am not proud of and the days when my tears stain my face just like the vegemite stains my t shirt – heck I have even cried on the gram but I do it for the greater good. I do it for the mess of a reality that is modern motherhood – gone are the days when the men went to work and the women stayed home to be mothers that cook, clean and manage the house. These days it is the mothers that work as well as everything else, and the women who are stay at home mothers are also running empires in their spare time. The roles have changed… So as we do it all, be it all, face it all, scroll it all remember that yes you are good enough, you are more than enough, you are a mother, a sister, some of you a wife and some are just like me…whatever you are, whatever you do, however you look and whatever your why is behind it all – you are good enough.
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