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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it's time for the podcaster who's making adobo of your dreams. Not really, I'm actually just waiting for some … and you say, “Which kind?” I say, “The kind that puts you to sleep,” patrons, that you support, it's time for Sleep With Me Podcast, that will put you to sleep.
Hey, are you up all night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do as a bedtime story. All that you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is to create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake. Whether it's thoughts, things you're thinking about, or your mind's thinking about, and trying to get your attention about, physical feelings, anything you're experiencing physically, or feeling emotionally that might be coming up. I'm going to try to take your mind off of that.
What I'm going to do is I got this real nice, safe place set aside here, where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake, like I said. Then what I'll do is send my voice across the deep, dark night. I'm going to use lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, holy cow. You say, “I've never seen superfluous tangents, for one. But I've never … Your superfluous tangents, they're different than normal. They're low viscosity. They're super fluidity but a low viscosity. How do you to it, Scoots?” I say, “Well, I use a slow stirring motion. Very slow. I scrape the sides. Kind of like … That's what I do.” That's one of the ways I do it. Creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders.
Basically, what the podcast is here for, if you're new, hi, how are you doing? I'm glad you're here. I hope I can help. This podcast, I'll give you a heads up, it doesn't work for everybody. But give it a few tries. I hope I can help. I hope it works for you. The reason I made this show is because I have trouble falling asleep sometime. I deal with other stuff. Waking up, trip stuff, traveling stuff, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations. I get all those things going. I just made this podcast to take your mind off of that. If you're new, let me give you a couple things of what to expect. Podcast is, I usually say it's a little bit different, but that's a mild way of saying it. It's pretty different than a normal podcast, or even a normal … even something geared towards sleep. It's like a company that's kept but you don't need to keep. I think maybe I should seal that one up. I don't think I've said that. Sleep With Me, it's like company that's kept, that you don't need to keep.
You say, “Scoots, what do you mean?” Well, let me try to explain that to you. Let me get to the new listener though. The podcast is a little bit different. Structurally what to expect is the show starts off with a few minutes of business. That's how we keep the podcast free. In this example, it would be like if the company shows up, I want to greet you, right? I guess now that's different. It's just what we're able to keep the podcast free. That's how we keep the porch lights on. That's how I have a place to greet you. Those people that support the show and support the sponsors. That's not so much important for new listeners as regular listeners. It starts off with business, then there's an intro, which you might get to the point of company that's kept that you don't need to keep, right away. The intro is kind of a show within a show.
For a lot of people it's part of their bed down, I call it the bed down wind down routine. As you get into bed, I think a lot of things that don't necessarily work kind of make you feel like, “Hey, this is going to be quick.” I'm going to snap my fingers, I'm going to count to 10. I'm going to jingle some wind chimes. And I'm going to go woo. Scooby Doo. And then you're going to be asleep. I've been doing this a long time, that's why I got these creaky dulcet tones. At one point my meanders used to have a point. It dulled off. What was my point? The intro is, it's to ease you into bed time.
So if you're not interested in the intro, you just want to get to the part of the show where tonight we'll be talking about Doctor Who, just skip to about 18 or 20 minutes or so. The intro is where I talk about the podcast for about 12 minutes and ramble in kind of a monologue type fashion. You know as we like to say around here in these parts, heavy on log, to have you sawing logs. It's more of just friendly banter. Just like if you were greeting guests at the house. Here's the good thing, this podcast, that's where it all ends. You don't got to greet me. You just hit play. You can say, “Well, there's Scoots rambling.” But I won't be able to hear you. Even if your partner says, “Is that that pod kid talking nonsense?” And then you might say, “He's a pod man, dear. Without a doubt.” And then you could both have a laugh at that and I wouldn't heard any of that. Go ahead, crack yourselves up. You say, “Pod kid, he's more like a pod tween.” I'd say, “Well, that pretty much sums me up.” Oh, what was my point? oh, just so the intro is kind of like a familiar friend that you don't have to entertain or that you can talk about in a justfull way.
Or just wonder about. Say, “What's going on with Scoots tonight?” “I'm not sure. I'm only kind of listening.” “Well, didn't he just start talking?” “Well, yeah but I'm kind of conditioned to just barely listen.” That's another one of the things around the show. This is one of the few podcasts you don't need to listen to. You could just be around it. It's like the company is kept, you say, “Well, Scoots is kind of keeping me company but I don't have to keep him … ” It's a weird social … it's not a dynamic. It's a social dynamic without the dynamic parts. You say, “There's no …” However you say that. “There's no dynamics here.” Like I said, this is super fluidity at a high viscosity. Oh, no. Maybe it's a low viscosity. You're right. Thank you. Totally mixed up my mixed up metaphors. So the intro is where I introduce you to the show and ease you into bed time and just kind of goof around. Maybe make bed time a little bit less serious.
Maybe take a little bit of the grouchy poos out of bed time because I know for me, I haven't talked about my brain bots but a lot of times my brain bots, it is like a bunch of guests showing up. As soon as my head hits the pillow, all these little unifunction parts of my personality start, I hate to use the word, harping. They say, “Hey, Drew, how come this?” “Did you realize your efficiency, we didn't even track our efficiency today? How inefficient is that?” And I'd say, “Okay.” And then the sixth grade part of me would say, “How come, were you the last person in your class ever to kiss a girl?” And I'd say, “Well, I didn't kiss a girl in sixth grade, so technically, no.” And then my second and eighth grade are saying, “So, point of order. Point of … ” I'd say, “Okay, I'm trying to go to bed here, actually.” And then another part of me would be like, “What month is it? When is April 15th? Oh my goodness.”
And then there's different pats of us and they want my attention, like a guest would. For me, at least, it's really hard to say, “Hey, listen … ” I mean, I guess as I've done the podcast, I have learned to say, “Hey, probably not the best time to discuss this stuff right now. I'm just going to listen to this podcast. Let's all … ” You could snuggle up with them and you say, “Hey, let's get snuggled here, Scoots is our guest that we don't have to entertain. He barely entertains us. He doesn't know the difference between high and low viscosity. Despite consuming, over his lifetime, four thousand hours of motor oil commercials.” My efficiency brain would say, “But, actually that's actually, holy cow, that's completely accurate.” How come that doesn't happen? You say, okay, when I'm moving onto the next phase of existence, they'd say, “Well, let's see. You tried to do this, you tried to … Let's see.” I would like that rundown. Can we have a stats component? Can I get a couple infographics and instead of the whole Peter thing or whatever, or the limbo, can we just run through, for maybe 20 years?
You have all the data up there, I'm assuming. You say, well, let's run through some info. How many hours of motor oil commercials have I consumed? I'd like to see the top 30. I'd be interested in that. You say, okay. Breakfast cereal has got to be way way up there. Motor oil, I'd put it in the top … You say, how come that's not an SAT word? They'd say, well it's over used. That's why. Viscosity. I mean, it's probably hard to spell. Maybe they do … They say we can't use it in the spelling bee, because it's a word that every child has seen. Most children. Not every. Some children aren't watching every single thing. I guess they don't have … Here's the thing, if you're a motor oil company, free advice, actually I probably have seen ads from you too, but now that I've talked about you, clearly next time I do a search it'll be like, “Have you thought about Vervoline? It's mid viscosity. It's the only mid viscosity motor oil. It's hyper synthetic.” And I'd say, “Interesting. You've been listening into me, hey?” Okay. What was I saying?
You don't need to listen to me. Also, no pressure to fall asleep. The reason the show is for about an hour is because I want you to have plenty of time to easy into, and drift off at your leisure. Just like a guest, I say, “Hey, I'll be here talking. Don't worry about keeping me company, I'm here. My company is kept. The company that's kept that you don't need to keep. Right?” Is that what I said? I'm keeping your company. You're not keeping me company. I'm just going to be here talking. That's the other thing, if you can't fall asleep, I'm going to be here for about an hour. If you can't sleep, you can queue up episode after episode. I'm here to the very end. I make this show because I truly believe you do deserve a good nights sleep. A good nights rest. Some moments of comfort and solitude. If I can enable that somehow, you know it's an honor. It's something that's powerful. If I can have a connection to that, just rambling and then talking about Doctor Who later, and you might say, “Scoots, I don't watch Doctor Who.” I say, “Don't worry. You won't recognize it.” You'd say, “Was that a story? An avant guard story about pencils?” No. Scoots is talking about, it says Doctor Who in the title.
But yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure. I'd say, “Yeah, that's right. I'm just talking Doctor Who but in a meandering, lulling, soothing way.” I think that's about it. You don't need to listen to me. No pressure to fall asleep. The shows are about an hour. Starts off with the intro. Then the business intro. The business, Doctor Who for about 45, 50 minutes, then some thank yous at the end. That's it. Give the show a few tries. 99.9% of listeners said it took a few tries before it started working for them. What I really want you to know is I'm glad you're here. I work very hard, I strive and I yearn, and I really want to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by and here's a couple ways we keep the show a going.
All right everybody, we're talking season two, episode 14, or 13, depending on how you're counting. Free comic book day, I think that's what I would be called. But in an ironic way. Or not an ironic way, like free comic books day. The episode also had an alterative title when it came out and it's part two of last weeks episode. It is an episode not only where, it's not unlucky 13, but we do … This is Rose Tyler's … I don't know if it's the swan song. She has another Colisee moment to start the episode out. Where she does kind of a … her hair is blowing in the wind, she's staring and she's talking in a Colisee … There's the recap of the episode and then her talking like a Colisee. Then, let's see, yeah. She says, it's like a sea side shot and that's how the episode opens, believe it or not. Instead of closing. Rose is actually standing on a rock. Then opens, then we have Daleks they're talking about. They say, “We're back.” The one thing that leads to people becoming time lords is comics books. That's what we've got to put a stop to.
Rose calls them out. She says, “You're Daleks. Scoots used to call you Daleks. But you're Daleks.” She does this very dramatic removal of her lab coat. Very worth watching. Let's see. Something with the time war you want to know. Five status of genesis arch but Rose said, “I know your names. Think about that. How's a human know about Daleks and time wars? I'm going to be useful, same with my friends Mickey and Raj.” They say, what's this say? The genesis arch. They say it's hibernating but let's wake it up, but keep an eye on it. And Mickey says, “Daleks? I thought they were all gone?” What do we got? Climbing music, Jack starts. Oh, chanting music, Jackie and the Doctor, “I'll get you out. Both of you out.” The Doctor says to Jackie. She says, “Where's Rose?” And the Doctor says, “I promise, I'll get you both out.” Speech all global wave lengths. Oh, so then a cyber person gives a speech. First, he wants everybody, he says everybody should give up. “We want a total authority.” And she goes, “That's not how it works.” And then the cyber leader goes, “Okay. I'll tell everybody, for all human kind, I'll do a broadcast to everybody.” What about the people who don't watch broadcast? Who watch narrow cast? Or no cast? You know?
“Cyber is in charge. You will all become like us.” The Doctor is watching with 3D glasses. We see a view of London. They say, “Are you going to surrender or what?” He goes, “They're not taking instructions. You know? This is London. The Earth.” Then the Dalek, the one with the black, the space gray Dalek, I guess you'd call it, says, “Which one of you is least important?” Raj says, “I'm the one in charge of labs. I don't know if that makes me least important but I guess I'm not the one in charge.” He says, “We're going to check your brain waves for stuff.” He says, “Okay. I'm not going to tell you anything.” They go, “Oh, we're going to scan you. It doesn't matter.” Meanwhile, back with the cyber persons, they say, “Hey, we're detecting some activity. Unknown technology in this sphere chamber. Delta investigate. I obey.” They say, “Get investigating.” They say, “We obey.” “Unit 6-5 and 10-66, I obey.” They say, “Establish a visual link,” which some reason goes to a laptop. So I put WTF.
Then we get a little comedy because we're back at the sphere laboratory and they say, “We read Raj's brain waves, we read that there's another species of Earth that said they were big farmers.” To the Dalek says, “Dalek, go check it out.” He says, “I obey.” We have these two visual links, because then the Daleks are also watching. They says, “Identify yourselves.” The cyber people say, “You identify first.” Then the Dalek says, “State your identity.” Then they go back and forth. Mickey makes some joke and then the cyber person says, “You're being illogical. Modify.” And the Daleks say, “We don't take orders.” Then they say, “Well, at least you named yourself Dalek. So that's good.” Then back at the lab they say, “Well, these are cyber people. We've identified them by their … We can tell they're inferior.” Let's see, Doctor grabs Jackie's phone, calls Rose. Says, “Her phone is still working. She answered.” The Doctor hears about the genesis arch, puts the glasses on, and the cyber says, “Oh, by the way, we followed your sphere in here.” They say, these are world wide, the cyber people. The Daleks say that.
They say, the cyber person says, “They don't know what they're talking about. These cyber people don't know what they're getting themselves into.” They say, “Your design is inelegant.” The Dalek says, it's just so worth it hearing the Daleks talk. I could listen to them talk all day long. Until it would get on my nerves. They say, “Daleks have no concept of elegance.” Just because they're always taking it up a notch. They could literally run … Nowadays, they'd say, “Those Daleks, people really get behind them.” Then the cyber person says, “Hey, what about we team up? We could be compatible. Cybermen plus Daleks. Together we could upgrade the universe.” The Dalek says, “You propose an alliance?” They say, “Denied.” And then they have a little showdown. Because the Daleks say, “We only want to get rid of the comic books. We don't want to upgrade anything. We're downgrading.” Let's see. “No concept.” Daleks, “You propose an alliance. Request denied.” I think I put pest control we. I don't know what that means. They have this showdown. They say, “This is pest control.” Daleks. They say four Daleks versus five million cyber people and they say, “You're really going to take out all the cyber people with four Daleks?” And they go, “We can do it with one.” There was even more jokes. And then let's see, even more jokes.
It's funny. Mickey is mugging after the Daleks. Then the Daleks happen to catch the Doctor. They do a rewind and Mickey likes that. They say, “Wait a second, go back. Female's heartbeat increases.” Mickey goes, “Yeah, tell me about it.” Rose goes, “That's the Doctor.” She goes, “Oh, five million Cybermen don't bother you, but one Doctor.” Then the cyber people say, “Let's upgrade some people.” Daleks concentrated on genesis. Oh, so they're like, “Let's get this genesis thing going.” They also know that the Doctor knows something about the Daleks. Jackie does. They split them up. I concentrate on the genesis. Mickey goes, “Rose, what's going on with the two of us? Why aren't they bugging us?” Then Jackie and Vaughn go to … Vaughn gets upgraded. She says, “I did my duty for Queen and country.” Jackie says, “Vaughn you really messed up England.” That was a bit of a showdown. Daleks catch Mickey. “Why do they need us, Rose?” Jackie yells at Torchwood, “I did my duty.” “You protect. You are proof emotions are no good.” Somebody said, I think that's what the cyber leader says to the Doctor. Doctor goes, “Well, okay, I quite like hope. A good emotion hope is.” Then the Doctor, the Doctor knows what is coming, because team boy band shows up with Jake and the Hair Gels. I think that's the name of Jake's crew. Jake rescues the Doctor.
You remember Jake from four or five episodes ago? Mickey's partner. And alternative universe, Pete. Jackie somehow sneaks off during this confusion. They said, “We got a new cyber leader.” Which I said, these cyber people, they're worthless. Except for their armor. Jackie snuck off and Jake sends everybody off. Then Doctor says, “You can't be jumping around from alternative universe to alternative universe.” They have these big, cheap, plastic buttons they use. Jake goes, “Come with me. You've got to go check out our own version of Torchwood.” They go to this parallel world. Things are a little bit more messy and less … This is where the people's republic runs it. Pete shows up, that was Jake, I meant. Pete goes, “Now I know who you are, Doctor.” He goes, “Well, I've got to get back there.” Pete goes, “I'm in charge in this world. You're going to listen up.” Plastic buttons, Torchwood parallel, Pete shows up, “I've got to get back.”, going to listen.
Also, Mickey has one of these cheap plastic buttons but he goes, “I can't transfer without you.” And Rose goes, “How come you keep showing up?” He goes, “I don't know.” She goes, “You're the bravest man I've ever met.” He goes, “Really?” She goes, “Well, human.” Now, you know the Doctor is more brave. Which I don't know if that was a necessary … I guess it is necessary for the story of the episode. Let's see. Bravest human, Rose flash to human touch, needed human touch to wake up the Daleks. They think it's because they sucked a bunch of time lord power. Or time travel power. Meanwhile, they're talking and the Daleks just listening in. Because Rose goes, “I don't know where this thing came from or what it does.” Mickey goes, “Well, how can they open it?” And the Doctor says, “We took it. It's a time lord design. It's all that's left.” Rose goes, “What's inside?” He says, “The future. The future is inside.” The Doctor is listening to the walls back at parallel Pete land. As the cyber recoup goes on. The cyber recap. Pete gives some exposition about the cyber people from their world. Doctor goes, “Where's old Mickey boy?” And he goes, “He's helping you.” Any chance to see Rose. He goes, “You know she's your daughter?”
He goes, “Well, that's complicated, dude.” Pete goes, “Oh, by the way, this is a golden age here in London. Harriet Jones is running things.” Doctor goes, “Oh.” He goes, “Yeah, there's something going on though.”And the Doctor goes, “Yeah. There's a breach. You shouldn't be time traveling between parallel worlds. That's not even time travel. All of you are going back and forth, it's a void energy.” He goes, “Can you seal the breach, Doctor?” He goes, “I could, but then there would be five million cyber people in the world I'm at.” Pete goes, I'm not worried about that.” The Doctor goes, “Well, what about Jackie Tyler?” He goes, “No.” The Doctor goes, “Really?” And Pete goes, “Doctor you've got to help us.” He goes, “Close the breach, stop the Cybermen, defeat the Daleks. Do you think I can do all that?” Pete goes, “Yeah.” Then the Doctor goes, “Let's do it.” I just loved how he said, “Old Mickey boy.” He says it in a funny way. Off we go. Phone call.
He calls Jackie via landline. She starts talking, she goes, “I'm on staircase N3.” And Doctor says, “Okay, I've got to go.” He goes, “Okay, north staircase three. We'll see you in a little bit.” Then the Doctor says, “Jacklyn Andres Suzette Tyler, dude. That's your wife. I was at the wedding.” Then the Doctor comes around the corner waving a white flag. Surrenders to the cyber people. He goes, “I surrender unto you.” Then the Daleks are in the final stage of awakening and Rose kind of brags, she goes, “Oh, by the way, you know I took down your emperor. The emperor was doing great until I took the time vortex and sent him in there. You got that Daleks?” And the Dalek doesn't like that. Then we see the Doctor in his 3D glasses. Let's see. The Doctor rolls in there with his 3D glasses, which didn't really explain. I didn't see. There's part missing I guess. It goes to the cyber people or whatever. He pulls a sonic probe. He says, “Hey, everybody … ” They go, “You're the Doctor.” He goes, “Yep.” “You're powerless.” The Doctor goes, “Me? No.” And then Rose and the Doctor says, “Oh, hey.”
Then he says, “Mickety, Mickey, Mick, Mickey. Good to see you.” Mickey says, “Yep.” And the Doctor says, “Social time will cease.” They said, “Well, how did you get out of time war, Doctor?” He goes, “All of Arcadia.” He goes, “It was tough, but you four ran away.” They go, “Yeah, we had to.” He goes, “The last four Daleks in existence.” He goes, “What's so special?” Rose goes, “They have names.” “The Daleks have names?” And one says, “I'm Thea” “Sac.” “Jast.” And, “Kahn.” The Doctor goes, “Oh, code of Scaro. The secret order of Daleks to become more, to empathize.” Mickey goes, “This is some other sort of time lord ship, yo.” And the Doctor goes, “Really? Never seen it.” He goes, “There's secrets all around.” The Dalek goes, “Good news. Time Lord science will..
For Episode Transcript Click Here
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, and my patron peeps.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble with getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. It's time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you needs to do is get in bed, turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest.
What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, the physical, something you're thinking about, something your experiencing physically, something that's coming up or that's going on emotionally, or travel, changes in routine, baffling stuff, whatever it is that's keeping you awake, I'd like to take your mind off of that. What I'm going to do is I'm going to send my voice, and I know I mentioned dew at the top of the show, I'm going to send my voice across the deep, dark night. I'm going to use a lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.
I just slowed down my superfluous. I said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow it down. What do you got there? Oh, is this one of those ones where I'm a boy with a wagon walking too fast, sir?” That doesn't look like a wagon to me, son. Oh, no, this is just a superfluous tangent. What in the haymaker are you talking about, lad? Sir, have you ever been a PE teacher? Because you just talk exactly like 90% of PE teachers I've come across. Son, I'm an authority figure and I'm here to figure out what you're … Why sir, maybe I'll probably forget to come back to you and hopefully I'll be sure to mention that movie, Neverending Story or something because but I got to get to my new listeners.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to send my lulling, soothing tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents as you saw, what I'm going to do, I'm trying to create a safe place where you can set aside all the stuff that's keeping you awake. I said that I had that. It's ideally a safe place where I can just earn or create or foster a little bit of relaxation. A little bit of space for you wherever you are, to get a little bit more comfortable. To get a little bit more settled or just be where you are but to kind of listen to me. Because maybe something else is going on. You know what I mean? It's kind of this weird, this is a safe place besides what's keeping you awake. The reason it's a safe place is kind of counterintuitive because they send my voice across the deep, dark night and all that stuff.
And a couple things, if you're new, you don't really need to listen. This is one the few podcasts and few safe places once it's established, you don't got to pay attention to it. You say, “Okay, so I don't have to, this is a podcast. Aren't I supposed to listen so I can fall asleep?” Can kind of listen, you can listen or you could barely listen. You kind of see how it goes. You might want to move over to a side of the safe place where you say, “Well I can't quite, I can kind of hear you talking.” If you're new, see how it goes, I guess what I'm saying. But no pressure to listen. There's also no pressure to fall asleep. The weird thing is, this is a podcast that's kind of here as you fall asleep. I know I say the podcast to put you to sleep because it's so flashy but it's more the podcast to be here as you drift off that you barely kind of listen. Kind of listen to or listen to it if you need to.
The reason the shows are an hour is to give you plenty of time. If you can't sleep, here's the thing, I make the show just as much for the percentage of listeners that can't sleep as the listeners that fall asleep in five minutes. I guess, I don't know, I guess, I don't know what my point was. My point was, you don't need to listen to me and there's no pressure to fall asleep.
Also if you're new, structurally what to expect. I'm sorry, you're the authority figure, wondering what that superfluous tangent is I'm walking around with. Okay, I just wanted to tell you about the structure of my podcast. What's a podcast? Oh boy. It's something you might enjoy. Audio. In this case, it starts off with an intro. Oh like WMAC radio? I'm not familiar with that but did they say, “WMAC, W-M-A-C, radio that put the mac in the whack?” Or something. They something. Oh that's how they start their shows. Oh you like Rudy Tootie, that's your favorite DJ. Oh that's interesting. Rudy Tootie, cool. Do they play, what songs of the circus? Or songs of carnival? Is that the happy, fun carnival hour? Oh no, it's serious talk. Okay, that's great to know.
Yeah, so this show starts off with an intro but it's a little bit different than that because the intros a part of the podcast. It's a show within a show. How can it be a show within a show? Well, it takes some imagination I guess. The intro, here's a question for you. You see how I guess because you're authority figure, you just kind of, okay, this is it. Yeah, if you weren't an authority figure, and you couldn't just walk up to people in their imagination and say, “What are you doing leading that thing around? Looks like a wagon til I stopped and looked at it.”
If you weren't an authority figure, you'd probably have to kind of, if you were curious, and you saw a boy walking around with a superfluous tangent on a leash, not leash by the way, but I could see how you'd make that mistake. But you weren't an authority figure, you might say, some people might ease their way into the conversation, they might say, “Hey, is that a, what a?” Usually that's when I'm walking around, that's the usual attempt a rapport building when I'm walking around with a superfluous tangent they say, “Hey what's that?” Because they want to say, “Is that your pet?” But then they start to look at it and it takes them out.
Anyway, the intro is to ease people into bedtime. It's part of people's wind down routine for most listeners. New listeners will just kind of kind of discover how it works for them. But a lot of people start the show as they're getting ready for bed. It's and then they wind down. Maybe they're brushing their teeth, maybe they're already in bed. Maybe get a lot of human animal interaction. They say, “Oh yeah, I'm just getting my pets ready for bed.” Maybe it's a family thing. Maybe you're listening, whatever it is, it's just part of easing you into bedtime because I guess that the thing, you can't really, I'm sure maybe for you and for some people, you could get in bed like an authority figure and you say, “Man I bed like a boss.” And I'd say, “What a way to saying I'm, what do you mean by that?”
Anyway, you say, “I bed like a boss.” I go to bed and I slam dunk it and I'd say, “Okay, we're different people probably because me, I need to wind down. I need to ease into bedtime. I need a long runway. I don't bed like a boss.” Unless your boss is riding around on a tricycle trying to catch up with the boy that's leading a superfluous meander around and he's got a headphones and he's listening to that station with the circus and carnival music. I'm sorry, that even confused me. I know. Those pointless meander, yeah, I don't even know what that was.
I guess that's the intro. It's something familiar. Ideally it's comforting or reassuring or you just say, “Okay, Scoots is here. He's going to try to make some sense. Probably won't get there.” It's just to establish a safe place. I don't know what to tell you. That's the intro.
Then there's some business between the intro and the show and then there's a what comes, oh tonight it's our premier pilot episode of our episodically modular serial new series, the Adventure of Dr. Triangle on Isosceles. It's the working title of it. What's a working title? Well when I think that's going to be the title but I'm not a 100% confident that's going to stay the title. I have a title at all. You really do. Gym teachers, what do you see? Do you see the world as never mind. I was a PE teacher so I'm just using you as a, I know, I'm sorry. I apologize. I was wrong. I was wrong. How is it again? I'm sorry. I was wrong. I'll try to find a new straw person for my authority. Trying to find a new figure for authority figures to represent them.
Okay, I'll just keep referring you to you as the authority figure. Can I at least allude to the fact you have a flat top? Yeah, because I had flat top once too.
That's the structure of the show. Ends with some thank yous and some good nights. Most new listeners find that the first time they listen, they kind of say, “What in the?” Because the podcast is different. Different than they expected. Doesn't necessarily, it's not necessarily apparent at first how it works or if it would even work and for some people it doesn't work. Give it a few tries. If it doesn't work for you, go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou and could find some other options there.
That's the structure of the show and what you need to know. Yeah, I'm just walking around with my pointless meander. That's its holding hand. It's not a leash, it's one of its hands for holding. Yeah, it does look a bit like, yeah, it's tough to kind of see because it's almost like it changes when you look at it. I could see on first impression that you thought it was a wagon because I'm just leading it around town square here but you could kind of see it has a long tail. It does have influences of other forest friends. We could talk about our fantasy friends. But yeah, I guess for me, I'm the kind of kid walking around leading around a pointless meander and you're the kind of person that beds like a boss. I'm sorry, whenever I say beds like a boss, my brain goes somewhere else immediately. And then I say, “Am I comfortable with that or not comfortable with that? How am I feeling?” Because it complicated.
But I am aware that there are people that fall asleep as soon their head hits the pillow. I would say that is, you say, “Man I donk on my pillow.” Your head. You just put it down, boom. That's great for you. You might not need the podcast but you might listen to it for relaxation purposes or for just say, “Well I need something that's a little bit different today.”
That's it. This was an interesting intro. I'm glad to meet you. I'm very clear that you're one of the authority figures that lives within me. One of the many thousands of beings that join me when I put my head down to rest. I could use somebody that beds like a boss. But anyway, I said, “Where's that person that says, ‘I bed like a boss?'” You say, “Oh nobody's interested.” Okay well thanks.
Anyway, I'm glad you're here. I'm basically here to keep you company as you drift off because I want to help. I've been there. Not putting my head down and falling asleep right away. Though this morning, just to give a little bit of taste of hope, I was awake and I don't usually, I'm not usually a ton of covers person. It was raining and it was a little bit chilly and never noticed this but I had, some people say they have their covers pulled up to their chin. My chinny chin chin. I did. I had my covers pulled up to the hairs on my chinny chin chin. It really just felt good. I don't know if you want to do that now. You could shrink in or you can expand. Sometimes it's good in the breeze of the morning. Of course I said, “Oof.” I don't know, I really felt good. I guess that's rare for me to say, “Wow, this really feels good, I got my covers pulled up to my chin.”
I had to laugh. I really did. I said, it was like I caught myself. I was already awake but I kind of naturally gone into that position. When you're in kind of morning cat mode and I knew I had to get up but I wasn't in a total rush. I just said, “Well I feel kind of cozy.” And then said, “My covers are pulled up to my chin.” No wonder. Usually I'd just be like, that's too warm for me. I'd say, “My shoulders need to breathe.” I always talk about kissing your own shoulders is a symbol and an act of self care. I like my shoulder available for kissing at all times. But this morning, my shoulders did not, they weren't demanding fresh air or anything.
Anyway, I guess mostly what I'm trying to say is I'm glad you're here. I work very hard and I strive and really want to help you fall asleep and thank you so much for coming by. Oh and here's a couple ways we keep the show going.
All right everybody, welcome to our new series. It will be episodic though this is a pilot episode. I don't know if I've done a pilot episode before. Just a first episode. I guess it is a pilot episode. It is also a first episode. It kind of is like a, I don't know, I don't know is it a pilot? Now that I'm talking it out, originally when I was halfway through writing this episode I said, “Oh okay, this is a pilot episode.” I'm going to explain to the listeners that fact when I do the recording and now I can't even remember what made it a pilot episode.
I'm not sure. It's the first episode. I guess it is a pilot because normally a pilot is something that you try to get, you make so that you can get permission to make the rest of the series but I have permission from me. But also I guess in some sense it did when I was formulating the first episode I said, “Okay, what's going to come up in this episode that will move the story forward to however many episodes we do?” 10 or 12 ideally. That's it.
A couple things you need to know about the first episode. It'll be extra dreamy because it's a pilot or first episode, this time I want to try to leave it open instead of explaining everything. To leave you with a little bit of room for own, ideally you're asleep or you're snuggling in or getting comfy. But I do know there's those of you that listen because you can't sleep or you're listening for company or you're listening during the day or you're re-listening. I also make the show for all of you too. And also kind of what that type of listener does is I don't know, it's very similar to me when I'm making it I say, “Well, okay.” I don't want to give too much away right away. Just give you chance to have a relationship with it a little bit.
I don't know what I would need to explain. I guess I don't need explain anything more. I didn't really explain anything. But this'll be a series. It has two characters and two main characters. Yeah, guess here we go. Maybe you were wondering too, is the world famous, the unbelievably kind, Antonio been getting a lot of listener email about how I treat you. Really when you talk about how the listeners feel, they definitely say, “Wow that Antonio Banderas is talented, generous and kind.” Your true personality really does come through. Unfortunately mine does come through too. My perfectionism or impatience so I apologize. I know that's part of our playful nature of our relationship.
So glad to have Mr. Antonio Banderas here to introduce our new series. Also I wrote it out for you. Part of it. I know we talked about it, my friend. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary, it's time to enter somewhere. My friend mind if I read it here? Listeners just come along. The first step is to enter.
Somewhere in a world without math, math technically in a greatly reduced math, having trouble reading Scooter's handwriting. Some places where only specific math principles are missing. I see why it just said okay.
Okay ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, somewhere in world without math. Well Scooter, there's nothing after that. Because I can't just go to, I guess I'll work on that. That was perfect by the way. And actually added some extra padding to my room divider so you could actually, because the listener feedback, let's let Antonio drink water and maybe move around occasionally but not too much. Don't get carried away until we play munchkin. Just do, I guess maybe just do we join. Okay? Okay I'll pick it up from.
Somewhere in a world without math, we join the adventures of Dr. Triangle in the Isosceles calculation.
Okay, you just want to do some other. My friend I said, okay. Dr. Scooter, take it over. You're a bit like Tom in there. Thanks. That's Mr. Antonio Banderas. Everybody, this is the Adventures of Dr. Triangle in Isosceles. The name of the town is Danzig and I'm positive there's going to be baked beans here. I'm a 100% sure. All right. I guess I don't understand how you would know that there's going to be baked beans here in this town. Well because if you look at the map, if I showed you the map, just pay attention because I've never seen anyone, just because we're riding, just because the horse is drawing the carriage, doesn't mean you don't need to pay attention to the road police. I'm paying attention to the road and to you at the same time.
If you would've looked at the maps I was trying to show you, before everything, there was the Grandma Ben's baked bean factory here. Grandma was named Ben. It was a merger. It was some corporate merger. Doesn't matter. There was a giant baked bean cannery here. My understanding is that some of the beans they even, yeah, they warehoused. It was their national headquarters for the bean. There's going to be tons of beans here and we're going to take payment in beans today. Or anything else people have to give. Still I don't, I understand you're saying, “Okay tell me because why don't we just get, I just don't want to end up stuck with a wagon load of beans because I calculated how many beans we could fit in the wagon and it just seems like this is going to backfire and I'm going to be existing in beans for years.” Well I understand that's the foundation. You know what I mean. I'm worried about your plan.
It's simple. Danzig's here. Now before with the consolidation of the city states, there's a city state that's only a two day journey away. We're even before everything happened, there was a large number of former UK residents living in that area. The highest area in the states where people from the UK were living, other than the huge biggest cities. This city state considers itself, it's a UK friendly or former UK, they're going to want baked beans. It's just, it's a thing. But these aren't English baked beans, they're baked beans from the Midwest. Again, you're not thinking with big picture. They can take the baked beans and they don't have beans, they're going to want baked beans. It's the closest equivalent and alls they got to do is add a little sugar. It'll be close to a English. You're overthinking it. We're going to be able to trade it. I already have the majority of the beans presold. Yeah, but that's for something that you want. Yeah, but it's presold and with that again, it's an even more valuable item.
But that a tanker truck. We also still have to find a way to transport the tanker truck. Yeah, but don't worry about it. It's going to work great. We're going to trade. We're going to fill this wagon with, we'll perform. One show only because they do have another buyer not paying in beans but who will trade the beans for the tanker of wine and then we'll still have 25% of the beans to trade for other things. I would recommend holding 5%.
Again, I've been doing, I've been working on this. Trust me, it's not a foolproof plan. Or else it wouldn't have human involved. That's just hilarious. We're going to through. Okay, just let me handle the driving of the wagon. You handle the bean planning. Good afternoon. Yes, we're here to perform tonight in your town square. I assume you have a city square or a town square. Yes, great job keeping the gates. Yes, my partner and I will be performing here and we have a spectacular show. You probably, oh you have heard of us. Yes, of course you have. Start spreading the word. Hello children, hello everyone. Okay, thanks for letting me say thank you.
Yes hello. What a wonderful town you have here. Good afternoon. Yeah, we'll be performing tonight at your town square. If you could reach your head city official, your mayor or whoever runs this city, bring your canned goods, is what our performance fee is or check with your city official. I don't know how your canned goods work in this area. I do know I have a hankering for beans though. Oh good, good you do have a lot of beans. Yeah, so we're going to be performing. We could only do one show because we're booked. We have a prior commitment. We stopped here because we heard how lovely the people were in Danzig, in Danzig. And we're going to have a great time tonight. If you could just show us, okay, just up around that bend. We go up the rise and go back down. Okay, thank you. Thanks children. Thank you everyone. Really looking forward to performing tonight.
Oh what kind of show do we have? Well, well if you ever heard, do you like drama? Do you like action? Does anyone in your family like a little bit of romance? Well we have all of those things. Believe me, the show will have more, do you like to laugh? You do? Of course, your child. Do you like antics because I can leaping. Okay. Come to the show tonight. Bring your beans or have your city official bring the proper amount. Good day. Tell your parents, or whoever's in charge of you. Thank you.
Okay, look over the city here. Do you notice anything strange in this city line? This city's it's got nice air. I notice that. And it's in good shape because as you plotted out, you said this is one of the area's that's very low impact. Just the basics. We don't have to worry about anything wonky going on in this city.
The city's in a stable zone. But are you saying, just you have to spell everything out for you. Just to look at this city skyline and tell me what you notice when you look across the city skyline? Well I notice buildings. I notice birds. Sky. Okay look at the building. What are the two biggest buildings in town? The temples. There's two temples. That's interesting. Right, it's two temples. You got any idea which one's larger than the other one? Huh, we haven't been to a town where, have we been to, the only town we had with two temples when that is interesting that that one's, I think it's but look at that, it's like older. It's a remnant temple. It's nothing to worry about.
No, I think it is. I think we need to go through with the show no matter what to get the beans with them. Maybe we should dial down the comedy a little because these, well I just don't like, I just have a feeling that the people, that it's going to be, maybe like that, okay, it's going to be fine. People that like, they'll come to the show, the people that want to come to the show. They know who we are. They know the kind of story we tell. If that's their goddess, they won't be coming to our show anyway. Again, I think more than likely, if you study the trends, people stopped caring about, once they started looking for someone to blame. That temple's probably built, now it's probably empty.
Okay, well it's just weird that. I guess it's going to be fine. Here's the town square. That must be the mayor. She's there waiting for us. Hello. Just pull up. Pay attention to where the horse is going. I've got it, thank you. Hello, we're here to do the show. Pleased to meet you. Looks like you have great populous. They seem very, very excited. We're excited to put on a great show tonight. We sent word ahead. Okay. Does that sound like a reasonable payment? I don't know how you do things here. If you have a central repository or if everybody has their own. How you distribute? Okay.
That is an order you could fill because that is really a fair price for our show. It's very entertaining and we do have a couple giveaways we give to the kids. They like to do thing. It kind of carries on. We find that when we return, we've never been here before but we're excited to do a show for you. If it goes really well, like I said, we have to be somewhere in a few days but we could come back in few months and do another show..
For Episode Transcript Click Here
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it's time for the podcaster who's wondering if I could help, if I could take your mind off stuff and help you fall asleep and I wanted to say, thanks, patrons, for helping keep the show going. Thank you.
Hey, are you up all night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome, this is Sleep With Me, the podcast to put you to sleep. We do is a bedtime story. All's you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts you're thinking about, feelings, physical sensations, so anything you're feeling emotionally or physically or thinking about. It could be travel, you know, whatever is keeping you up. It could be anything. I don't know what would necessarily …
Here's the thing, I don't know what's keeping you awake or what it is, but I do care and the way I care is a … That's right, we just changed up the intro there. Whatever's keeping you awake, I'd like to take your mind off of that, yeah. Like, what I'm going to do, the way I'm going to show that I care is I'm going to send my … I'm going to be here digitally, kind of on demand, on call, just like you say, “You rang?” “You pressed play? I'm here.”
What I'm going to do is I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night. I'm going to use lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. I'm going to go off topic, I'm going to be … but I'm here, but like I said, I'm going to be here, to keep you, to try to help.
It's basically, ideally a safe place where you say, “Okay, now I can get comfortable in bed. I can turn out the lights and press play. Scoots is going to keep me company and take my mind off stuff,” or try, you know, maybe sometimes I won't be successful, but you know, that's part … I'm here because you're human and I'm human. You know, that's one of the taglines of the show, that hasn't made it to … Because I say, you're human, I'm human, so what are we going to do, huh, with a shruggy-shrug emoji, which is different than a shrugging emoji. This is shruggy-shrug emoji is actually a … It's part of my new kids' cartoon show that has never been invented, hasn't been made yet. I just thought of it.
That'll be … It won't be one of the main characters. That'd probably be like one of the head professors, shruggy-shrug emoji, “I don't know, why did I get a D on this?” Like this was a … Teacher would be doing that shruggy-shrug and say, “Mm, I don't know, why did you get a D on the test?” and I'd say, “Oh, boy, way to turn, way to make me come to my own conclusions, Teach.”
I'm here to help. If you're new, I'm glad you're here, welcome. I really am glad you're here. I really hope I can help, but a couple of things you're going to need to know if you're new and you're skeptical or you're not skeptical, whether you're open minded or skeptical or somewhere in between or betwixt … and I think I've talked about this on the podcast. No Twix in bed. You know, have it before … You can have it near your bed.
Has anyone wrote a poem like Betwixt Two Twix? Maybe that's too commercial, but I mean that does feel like it's something … I mean it'd be mysterious if you were lying between two Twix anyway. First off, don't do it in bed, like maybe save it for a camping trip, but even then, probably not the best idea but maybe that would be someone … I guess it would be a poem a kid would write at summer camp, because that would be the most likely place you'd be lying between two Twixes.
Also I realize Twix and Betwixt are two different things, but I don't know, I'm just picturing a kid there lying right … I mean, I guess a young version of me, saying, “Here I lie, betwixt two Twix, and I sigh, and I say …” I guess maybe you're right, maybe this poem doesn't need to rhyme like all my other ones, but then I just thought of something that rhymed with sigh and now I forgot it.
“The moon outside my window, my heart aflutter for the …” This, I guess, is becoming more a letter, you know, for the letter, for the school, the camp dance just ended, and hence I am actually in the middle of podcast intro, but I'll try to keep this going, this letter as I lie here between two Twixes, betwixt two Twixes. I turn it back to you, Scoots.
Thanks, I was hoping to hear how that turned out, so why don't you work on your puzzle or poem, your puzzling poem.
If you're new, the whole show's a little bit different, so if you're skeptical or not, you say, “Well, how's this … This is … I don't understand how this is going or where this is going.” I'd say, “So you're very perceptive.” The show, here's the structure of the show, so maybe this'll help. The show starts out with a few minutes of business, that's how we're able to keep the podcast free for everybody is some people that support, the sponsors who support the show. Then, so there's a few minutes of business, then there's an intro. The intros are about 12 to 15 minutes of me kind of explaining what the podcast is and never successfully doing that.
For some people, especially new, you can say, “What are you like a …” Could throw you off, because you say, “What is … Why don't you … or when does the bedtime story start?” and so normally, right, it would take a while. I don't know. Normally, people get to the point. I think that's what I meant. I couldn't even get to the point there. This one, it's more I meander to the point, because the intros kind of a part of a lot of listener's bedtime. Listeners might start listening to it before, as they're getting ready for bed or as they're in bed, you know, sinking into bed … you know, getting comfortable and winding down.
Some listeners skip the intro, like a small percentage of listeners skip ahead to the story, so it does take a while for me to explain what the podcast is unsuccessfully or kind of. You say, I almost got there, but it's partly kind of setting up the safe place, I guess. It's like one of those old tents that takes for … You know, instead of a pop up tent. I get one of the old fangle … You say, “Is that a new fangled tent, you've got there, Scoots, or …” No, this is an old … This is a … I don't know. This is the one tent that's got 8,000 parts. I don't even know how many … It's going to take me forever to get it up. Yeah, but, you know, once I do, it'll be time to go to bed so it'll help me, like a …
I don't know if that makes sense. I don't know if any tents come in little pieces. Yeah, but so, that's the intro. Then there'll be some business between the intro and the show and then for the show tonight … I'm not sure, but it'll be a surprise. It'll be random, Trending Tuesday Style episode as we call them. Then the show ends with thank you's and some good night's. That's structurally what to expect.
A couple of other things, you don't need to listen to me. You can kind of listen or I don't want to put any pressure on you to listen. Really, I had a couple encounters recently. Like it was one with family members and then two online where people said, “You know, I love the show so much. I really love the … I thought of something you said that was really funny or interesting, but then I fell asleep and forgot about it,” and that's like a great compliment in this case.
I say, “Yeah, you can kind of listen to me in the moment.” I guess that's what it is. I don't know if I've ever captured this before, momentary listening. I mean, really part of the podcast is kind of about being kind of in the moment and like, for you, getting comfortable and sinking in or nesting or whatever, you know. The good kind of tossing and turning at the beginning or you ever toss and turn, like sometimes there's … Like I say tossing and turning, mind racing trouble getting to sleep, but so even recently, like last time … Like I've been on a not great sleeping streak, but last night I slept great.
I can remember doing some, like in the middle of the night, doing some tossing and turning. Also like, this does happen. I can tell some of you could relate to this, like positive toss … Where you're like, I mean I literally toss one of my pillows and grab the fresh one, then burrowed back down and went right … and I said, “Wooh,” and this was like one of the … I said, “Wooh, this pillow is nice and cool, and feels fresh.” You know, it hasn't been smooshed down like I'd been smooshing my other pillows the whole night and then I … So that was like a tossing and turning.
I can just picture an imaginary person like just tossing … Like that's what I was doing, I said, “Hey, pillow, it's been great, but pillow, bye,” and I grab another pillow, I say, “Yeah, hey, how you doing?” What was my point in all that?
Oh, I don't know, I don't know, but I'm here to help. Oh, you don't need to listen to me, was that what I was saying? Here's the other thing, no pressure to fall asleep. As strange as that sounds, this is not really a podcast to put you to sleep. So much just to be here as you fall asleep or in case you can't sleep or in case you wake back up or in case you're having a tough day. Any of those things, the podcast will be here, kind of to comfort you or reassure you in a passive sense. I don't know.
Like I said, with a … Why would I say that? I think I invented a new way of listening and then I totally forgot what it was, just like I was explaining how it happens with listeners. What did I say? It wasn't passive listening. It was like toss … “I don't know what it was,” you say. Well, you didn't really need to listen. Optional listening? It was something more catchy than that. Maybe I'll remember it but so you don't need to listen to me.
The reason the shows are about an hour is like so you can drift off at your leisure or if you can't sleep, you know I'm going to be here and then you know you can queue up episode after episode or if you … You know, some people like to use a timer so that they listen 30 minutes, then if they wake back up, they can start it again, so, but no pressure to fall asleep. No pressure to listen. I make this show because I do believe … I do wish I could remember what kind of listening it was. Ah, forgetful listening, because that sounds too loaded but inadvertent? No, that's like you're kind of listening where you don't have to listen.
I was celebrating not listening to me and I don't think I was totally … some part of my brain was not listening. Oh, but that makes me think of that ode I wrote once upon a time, Betwixt Two Twix, to …
No one's listening all the time, no one hears, but it is the joy that, you know, it makes you not want to rhyme with the word rears. Here at camp, my heart dances still, outside don't use window sill, but you just did, because outside my window the night sings with joy, and here I lie betwixt two Twix, still just a boy.
Oh, boy, so I don't know, so you don't need to listen to me. No pressure to fall asleep. I'm here to help. Because, like I said, I've been there and I really want to take your mind off of stuff, keep you company, give you a little bit of space to either drift off or to … You know, to breathe in and relax or just so when you're … If the show does work for you and it becomes part of your routine then you can say, “Well, today was very human. It was 10 out of 10 for humanity, and you know last night was not a … but so, but at least I get Scoots to kind of entertain me and whatever that new kind of listening, he forgot it was, you know I don't really have to listen. I don't even have to fall asleep. I can just kind of chill or pet the cat …”
Or, you know, you could even … I never tried to read and listen to my own podcast, you know, I can't read and listen to other podcasts, so that probably wouldn't work. Maybe if you looked at a picture book or something or a magazine. You can probably like handle a magazine and the podcast, maybe. I don't know, your choice, whatever works for you, but yeah … That's the thing, I'm here to help. Give it a few tries, that's what almost every listener over the years has said. It took two or three tries before the podcast worked, but I'm glad you're here. I worked very hard, I yearn and I strive, and I'd like to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by.
All right, hey, everybody, it's the Scoots here and another episode, this one is influenced … You might be hearing some stuff. You say, “Scoots, where did that come from?” I'd say it was from the Phish's, like we've been using the Phish: Baker's Dozen from 2017, which was a set of 13 shows. The Phish played at Madison Square Garden where they didn't repeat a song. It's just become a good source of randomization, because you have all those songs, so if you're wondering where any of this stuff … You say, “Scoots, where did any of this come up from?” Maybe it was from that.
We had a lot of feedback from our Enrobed Robe Shop, that was I think, ah … I don't think it was … I can't remember. It was Reginald Cusack, I think who's the proprietor of that shop and so I'm going to turn it over … They said, “Well, we actually have this skin care routine and we'd like to come back on the show and talk about it.” I said, “Okay, well, sounds good.” It sounds better than good, actually, so they're going to come on. I'm going to turn the podcast over to them and the … so it'll be another … I think it'll be a lot to learn.
I guess, without further ado, you might say, “So, wait a sec, you're turning the pod …” Yeah, someone saying, “You know, to keep the podcast going, we always rely on direct listener action, but to fill in the great gaps, because, you know, most people are asleep.” I said, “Well, I turn it over to these … The Cusacks, because they …” I don't know, they're willing to … They actually haven't paid me, to be honest. I was expecting a robe, but you know, I don't have to worry about that.
Okay, so here you go.
Well, hello, everybody. My name is Aretha Cusack. I know you've worked with my brother. Welcome, welcome into my shop. You might be saying, “This is a shop with nothing in here. I see some … Was this a hair …” Well, there's a lot of comfortable chairs, so come in and have a seat. Maybe you want to even lie down, we do have places to lie down and get comfortable, and, yeah, this is a shop where the products, you know, we'll provide … Don't worry.
Now I wanted to talk to you because you're here, because you probably heard a lot about a different … You know over the last couple of years, a lot of skin care routines have gotten popular. You know, a lot of people blog about them. A lot of people are using them. There's the 10 step Korean skin care regimen, which is probably the most talked about and you know, we here at the Cusack family … You know, the Cusack family of businesses, you know, we started with robes and thinking about how robes are more than … You know, they're something that enrobe you and express you, and we've also been involved in many other things.
You know, your skin is the largest organ on your body, according to most people and you might say it has two sides, you know. Like a … so we want to talk about the inside and the outside and we've learned, you know, from the robe business that it's easier to talk about the outside stuff and just to tell you, because you're perfectly reasonable, intelligent person that, you know, when we're talking about that stuff. We're also talking about the care, not just the … You know, they'll say, “What's the most important organ?” and some people might say, “Well, it's this or …” We'd say, “Well, you are going to … What it all comes down to you.”
We're looking at a … They call it self-care, your skin care self-care. They're in alignment, so we wanted to go through what we're presenting as our, you know, the products we have here and the things we have as a part of our skin care routine. You could say, “Well, okay …” and, you know, some people said, “Well, is this … and what's … where …” This will give you a biggest … and you don't have to use the products here that we've customized for you and you can go, you can do … You know, these routines are known to be done in order but, you know, you don't have to do them in order.
Should you do it at night time or should you do it at day time? You know, those are also fair questions and so we do have a 20 step program that we're going to lay out to you tonight and it is very based on some of these things. We said, “Well, those are 10 steps. We have actually 20 steps, and we think …” Well, you know, I'm going to walk you through the steps here tonight and you might say, “Well, I'm not sure all these steps are for me. That sounds like a bit of a lot of work and …”
No, you think … For us, it's a sound … The steps as much as it is is the steps, so our first step, you know, just like in the other routines, you know, cleansing. We're going to pretend this is an evening routine and a part of the wind down and some of these don't even involve products and a lot of them are influenced by things in our lives or things we know.
The first one, we call … Now this is a 100% free and that's why we're … You know, it's just something we call, but we don't call it as a business. I just call it a Strawberry Fields Forever and this is technique where you take your finger … It's basically a facial massage where you're pretending your finger tips are running through, like pitter-pattering through strawberry fields in the evening. Oh, they're breathing the air and celebrating. You could start at your chin, if you're listening with me right now, you could do it to … For the start, you could use … What I like to do and I guess this is just my imagination is I imagine my thumb is … What are those things called?
A pole vaulter enabling everything else that's happening, which I guess is strange, but the first thing you do is if you take your thumbs and you place them just under side of your chin, like right on the bone, your jaw bone, and then just reach your fingers up towards your cheek and sweep them down gently. That's always a good way to start your stretching. Then maybe reach your fingers back to the back of your jaw and slide them forward very gently. We're not even massaging at this point. We're just swooping, I guess you'd say.
Then if you go like about a little few, you know, towards your nostrils, under your eyes where your sinuses might be, with your fingers and swoop gently outward, away towards your ears. This part is more of a swooping, as in a strawberry field running, but we're preparing, and then at some point as you do this swooping … I'm going to pause for a second and swoop myself. What I like to do … I just had to do it so I remembered. Thanks for indulging me. I like to do the swoop from my sinuses towards my ears, but then I kiss my thumb with my index finger.
Instead of going towards my ears, then I circle back down towards my jaw, and I kiss my thumb and that's the strawberry kiss and then I just let my fingertips start to run around my cheeks and pitter-patter around my jaw. This is a self-massage, so you could like … We're just doing it lightly and I guess one of the ideas is a light tapping, it gives you … you know, may or may not bring a strawberry hue to your face. We're imagining that, you're starting to imagine you're feeling a strawberry hue and your fingertips are just kind of dancing on your face a little bit, pitter-pattering, if you prefer.
Again, have them play playfully with your ears and then to your forehead and then maybe find some places for a little bit more massaging. Maybe you want your fingers to spend some more time just kneading, you know. They say, “Well, no, you're in a strawberry field. I think I'm going to knead this ground like a cat,” and maybe instead of the idea of massaging, sometimes I find with my clients, the idea of a kneading or exploring your fingers, are saying, “Ha, let me check this out.” Like you could also pretend you're an amateur phrenologist of the forehead or the cheek, instead of the head and you're just kind of getting …
You could say, “Hey, let me get to know myself a little bit better here.” You say, “Oh, wow, never noticed that I had a … The way that bone feels there. That's kind of nice.” Maybe you're singing Strawberry Fields Forever to yourself, maybe you're not, and you say, “Oh.” Now, remember always be gentle and, you know, you can use one finger or you could use them all. Anytime you want to have a little bit more leverage … You could feel me feeling my cheek right now. I'm saying, and now I'm even noticing a cheek … See, oh, there's a little thing there in my cheekbone and you're just doing that.
Oh, again, you tell me you want some more leverage, just use your thumb on the bottom of your jaw. Again, you're just treating your face kindly. Now the best thing about this first step of the routine is you could do it, you know, as long as your hands are clean, or I guess, you know, it's up to you, but I'd say, that's really a good idea, policy. Yes, you can do it anytime. You know, any time you need it, like a 10 step or a 20 step piece of skin care, and you only want to do one step, you might be somewhere and you say, “Oh, boy, this …”
You know, you say, “Okay, let just … Let me just …” You know, maybe even do, pretend you're sending … What is that called? Pretend you're sending Morse code messages through your temple or your forehead, so that's a little bit about how to do it.
Now we enter into the cleansing stage. Now everybody knows you do an oil cleanse and a foam cleanse or maybe you don't know. We do have a oil cleanser here and we also have a technique. We sell both together, but I also teach you the technique for free. So you see, “Well,” like so you could use this technique or you can use the cleanser that is in the same name which is called Halley's Comets and this … So you say, “Okay, I'm familiar with the oil cleanser,” or “I'm not.”
Well, you're going to clean your face with an oil cleanse and the reason I call it Halley's Comet … Now Halley's Comet was a comet that only comes around once in a while, and I want you to set that intension that we're changing … Well, it's two things, you only come once in a while, around once in a while and I mean that in a sense that you're special, you're special to me as Halley's Comet and I want you to sometimes say that to yourself in the mirror. Yeah, but we're also going to … As we start to practice this skin care, self-care routine, you're going to start to imagine that …
If you're doing this every night, even in a lighter fashion, you'd say, “You're as important to me as Halley's Comet was to the comet watchers of the '80s,” or you say, “Oh, I like …” You know what I mean? You're taking something special and you're giving it to yourself on a regular basis. Yeah, but this is our oil cleanser as well and it has a … What you're going to do is you want to apply it to a dry skin, and again, you can read about the basics of, you know … This is an adaptable routine, but I do like to use like a sweeping method, as I'm imagining my fingers, my fingertips being the comet, coming across the sky.
The idea of the using of the oil, you know, is it cleans one type of thing, because you may say, “Well, I have oily skin,” and yeah, we're getting off some of the stuff that the oil based … Like the oil cleaners will clean and we're also kind of getting a..
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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary, it's time for podcaster, I'm Jesse Patrons. I'm just here to keep it simple. I'm simply here to put you to sleep in the most convoluted way possible. It's time for Sleep With Me, podcast to put you to sleep. If you're up all night tossing and turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep. I'm still doing math. It's time for Sleep With Me the podcast to put you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake. Whether it's thoughts, feelings, so stuff you're thinking about. Something you're feeling emotionally or experiencing physically. Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, travel just who knows? The stuff. Anticipation or whatever the other one is. Stuff. Whatever's being human.
It's not easy. If you can't sleep or you're having trouble getting asleep it's even tougher and that's why I'm here to help. What I'm going to do is I have this oral, aural, I always get those two, it's like a tongue twister. Oral and aural. Maybe we could do a tongue twister with that because I just realized that choral sounds like the choral and coral, oral and aural. Maybe that can be, does any of George Foreman's Georges listen to this podcast? One. Two, would you be interested in, do you have a litter of kittens you'd like to name? Meet them and name because and maybe we could work some math into that. I don't know.
I'm going to try to create a safe place or that's what I was saying is I'm going to smooth it. I'm going to pat it. I'm going to rub it down. I'm going to give you your space within the safe place and then what I'm going to do is I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night. I'm going to use a lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones. Those are creaky dulcets. And if you'll say, “Scoots what's a creaky dulcet?” I say, “Well, you know when you hear a door creak, there's a lot of times that's in big movies, that's portrayed as something. Or in those records of sound effects. You say oh boy a door's creaking.”
This is in this podcast that's the creaky. The dulcet would be I guess if the door was creaking because Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy or a person just that's going to give you a kiss on forehead goodnight or someone's going to tuck you in. I guess those would be the you'd say, “Oh that's a nice creaky.” Or you'd say, “Oh, now mom and dad are going to bed,” kind of creaky. You say, “Okay.”
Okay, so creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders. You might say, “What's a pointless meander?” I say, “I think you've seen a few already.” Some pointless arithmetic. It wasn't actually pointless it just was a different kind of pointless where I said, “Hmm, inconclusive arithmetic is like a pointless meander.” Then we had a point, I don't know if it was a pointless meander trying to name, is that new rhyming conventions? Words that already rhyme. I don't know if you could say it's a new rhyming convention. That makes me think of what happened to the old rhyming convention? You say, “What the heck?” Well I used to go to that before big rhymes but bought it out and made it all corporate. They'd say, “Is big rhymes anything? Is Buster Rhyme? Where's Buster Rhymes fall? Which one's Buster Rhymes going to be at? Because I could go to that one.” You say, “Actually I don't know. We'd have to check the schedule.”
Okay, are you going to the new rhyming convention or the old rhyme? I'm going to both and the one, there's actually the one where rhyme's spelled differently. That one is even, it's O-L-D-E rhyming convention. Wow, that's confusing. There's an old rhyming convention, there's a ye olde rhyming convention even though it's just called old rhyming convention and then there's a new rhyming convention. Where's a poor convention just named rhyming convention left? Oh I'm the middle of a podcast, thanks.
Pointless meanders. That was an extra one. Superfluous tangents. Maybe that's what that was. Go off topic is basically is shorthand of it.
The whole idea of the show is I'm here to keep you company as you fall asleep. If you're new, I'm glad you're here. The only I would give you is to kind of consume the podcast a little bit passively at first because it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It's a bit different and it doesn't work for everybody but for most of the people it works for, they listened a couple times and then it starts to work for them. Once they realize that the podcast is bit like a, it's gelatinous. It's a digital podcast, how can it be? And I'd say, “Well I don't know how. I don't know why it's gelatinous but it is.” I don't know. They've lined up my podcast against other podcasts and they say, “Yep, this one's full ones and zeroes. Zeroes and ones. Oh this one was done. This was done, what do you call that? That's not ones and zeroes. Whatever that. Digital and what? I don't know, the other one that's not digital.” And they say, “Okay yeah, that old school podcast. It's done with the older equipment, hasn't been digitized yet.”
And then we have this one. What is it? Well looks like a bowl of gelatin but it's actually sleep podcast. It's a metaphor form right now. All the other podcasts, I guess I wouldn't say that. I'd say, “I'm going to have to shut this podcast convention down because there's so many that could be good metaphors.” Unfortunately I got to focus on my new listener, my regular listeners so I got to leave this, that convention too.
I'm here. And if you're new, let me give you an idea of what to expect. Obviously unexpected stuff that's kind of strange and tangential but structurally what to expect. The show, you already heard this, it starts off with a few minutes of business and that's kind of the prize that's supposed to be most riveting part of the show because that's how we keep it free for everybody. That's a little bit more upbeat. Then there's an intro. The intro consists of, it's what do you call it? It's a bit of meandering. It gives people a chance to wind down as they get ready for bed or as they are in bed. To unwind. I guess that's like winding down, unwinding. Chilling out, getting settled in. Whatever word you want to use for it. That's what the intro is, it's about 12 to 16 minutes or so.
Now some listeners will say, “Scoots, I want you to get straight to the story or in this case, the recap of Dr. Who.” You just skip to about 18 or 20 minutes. Ideally you listen to the beginning of the show so you know how to support it and then you skip ahead. You could skip ahead to 18, 20 minutes and get right into that content if you want to.
Some listeners they also usually support the show, they fall asleep during the intro and then some people listen to it during the day as a destressor or they listen as they're getting ready for bed. There's no wrong way to use it but that's just how the show's structured. And then it can be repurposed. I guess those were examples or repurposing the show. But mostly the intro in a perfect world is introductory to new listeners and confusing, unintentionally just by me being myself as a wind down. That's the intro.
Then there'll be some business between the intro and the show. Then there's, we'll be talking about Dr. Who, an episode of Dr. Who. And we'll be talking a pretty meandering way. You say, “Scoots, are you sure you watched that episode?” Really? Or they'll say, “Man, which episode was he talking about? Because it wasn't totally clear to me.” But it makes me very sleepy. If you say, “I don't know about that episode with those things that are like robots.” And I say, “Don't worry. I'll make it lulling and soothing for you.”
Then the show ends with a thank yous. That's why I say, “Don't worry.” Is because I'm really to help. I've been there. I make the show so that you don't need to listen to it. But also you don't feel any pressure to fall asleep. No need to listen to me. But also want to give you plenty of time. The reason the shows are over an hour, right around an hour is so you can kind of fall asleep at your leisure. You say, “Okay, I'm kind of listening here, kind of don't know what he's talking about and yeah, it's distracting and relaxing. I can kind of picture the doctor and the rose.” You say, “Well it's robes.” Well you could call her the rose. Then hopefully you fall asleep. If you don't though, I'll be here til the very end.
If you can't sleep, you're going through something or you're just looking for some company, I'm here to help do that. Fill that role too because that's really what the audio was there for me when I couldn't sleep. Just listening to a friendly voice in the deep dark night with something barely interesting to say that maybe put a smile on your face, maybe put a neutral look on your face. That's basically it.
Other that thinking about the pitch again, to rename. If anybody does have any pets, what do we say? Oral, oral, aural. Boral, not doubt about it. Moral. Can you imagine being the one name? You say, “Why'd you name him Moral?” Especially if it's a cat. I'm the cat that likes to screw around. Not like that Scoots. The other kind. Take other cats' balls of string. You say, “Moral come on, you can't do that. Give the ball of string back to Coral.” Noral. I know it's hard that I named you Noral since that's not really a word but I just loved saying it. You came right after moral. Ploral. You're twins so I had to name one of you Ploral. That's how they say it. I think that may be how they say it in Ron Concoma. Another Ron Concoma shout out. Ploral. I don't know I don't have my Ron Concoma accent on me right now.
Oral, coral, that's not the rhyme. That's not a good Long Island accent. You got to, when you don't have it, you just got to, you can't fake it. Can't fake the Concoma. And shout out to everybody that's here from when I mention it because I love the strong. What else? I think that's it. If I fit in a little pandering to Long Island. You can never go wrong with that.
George Foreman, if anybody, if any of the George Foremans are listening, think about that as a naming convention for your children. Words that rhyme with, wait, part of my brain said oral and aural don't rhyme. And they'd say, “Well to you they don't.” When you say it with your heart and not your ears and your mouth, they do.
Anyway, I'm glad you're here. I really appreciate you stopping by. Give it a few tries if you're new. See if the podcast helps. It doesn't work for everybody. But I really work very hard. I yearn and I strive to help you fall asleep and thanks again for coming by.
Oh and here's a couple ways we keep the show going. When your hand hits the fridge tomorrow, sleepwithmepodcast.com/sponsors. Thanks.
All right, everybody, we're talking season two or series two, episode 13 or 12 depending on how you're counting. Army of big farmers. It starts with Rose, a voiceover of Rose, Earth and Moon from space. Rose has this Khaleesi level moment actually. Starts with a gum chewing flashback and Dr. One, we see the first time, whatever number doctor is and then the current doctor. I know, I said I know, I know him wrong. It's not Dr. One and Dr. Two. Musical machine, what does that mean? I don't know, these notes are, and then I was wondering about the mystery machine. We see the doctor and Rose on the planet with manta ray pterodactyls. That's the planet. Then we see Rose on a beach, she's glum I would say. That was the word I used. Or maybe that was word she used.
Let's just see while the episode opens, what did she say? This is Earth where I was I born and where I went to become a big farmer. First 19 years of my life nothing happened and then I met the doctor, man who could change his face. Took me away from home in his magical machine. There we go. Showed me the whole time and space. Thought it would never end. Rose even says, “I think I'm going to be with you forever. And then came the army of the big farmers. Torchwood and the WA to the R, what's it good for? This is that story. How it ended.”
Then we have a playground, bluish playground. TARDIS appears. Rose puts on her backpack. At first I said, “What's in there?” But then she says, “Laundry.” There's fun music at this part of the show. They go to Jackie's house, big hugs and kisses. WTF, what did I WTF? Oh Jackie kisses the doctor on the face. She goes, “Oh no you don't, get over here. Oh you lovely big fellow you're all mine.” Doctor says, put me down. Rose has her backpack full of laundry. She give Jackie a asteroid bizarre thing. Bizulium or something, predicts the weather. Cold is rain, warm it's sunny.
Jackie has a surprise. Silver moon sculpture. There's a sculpture. Let me see if I could see it. Yeah, I see it in the background. Jackie has a lot of white, I guess what are those things called? Not porcelain because they're shiny, sculptures and one is a silver moon, another one is a shell. Not a silver of a moon, excuse me. Milk on the counter. Jackie's milk's out. Maybe she was just making tea. Doctor say hello.
Let me see, she goes, “Oh just guess who's coming to visit? Grandad Prentice, he's on his way.” They say, “Jackie's off her rocker kind of.” Then we see Dr. Who, Doctor and Rose on the run because after their Grandpa Prentice shows up, he's a big farmer. They run outside. There's big farmers everywhere. It's called big farm shift. The big farm shift is they said, “When the big farmers shift and when to shifts have big farmers?” They say, “Ends at 12 minutes past. This is a quick shift where big farmers come to visit.”
Then it cut to secret lab, Torchwood Institute where we see science types and science leader and she says, “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary, trees and multiforms, we've got a 5,000 gigawatts,” whatever. She says, “A difference.” And they say it in Back to the Future. I think he says, “Gigawatts.” And maybe she says, “Giga,” I don't know. And she says, “Give yourselves a round of applause. Back to the Future, teak on Westminster Bridge, whatever. There's big farmers on the Westminster Bridge of true purpose.
Oh no, tease. They do this in new montage. Doctor's watching with his glasses on from the floor, he's changing channels and they say, “Oh they're gathered on Westminster Bridge.” They're in formation. Little tease there. We see the Trisha Goddard Show. Product called Ectoshine for shine up your big farmers. I didn't get to look up the show. Which show? Trisha Goddard show where they get thrown out of a pub. It's east enders, I knew it was a famous show. And one of the big farmers gets kicked out of the pub. Doctor watches TV on the floor with his glasses on.
I just tried to scroll up on my notebook there to be honest with you. First time it's happened in a recording of the podcast. It's clearly my handwriting's not a smart screen. Doctor's kind of spoiling, Jackie says, “Just marry something.” There's fresh flowers in Rose's house. But the Doctor says, let's see, he says, “This can't be good that there's big farmers running around. I don't think it's your Grandad.” And Jackie says, “Oh it feels like him.” And the Doctor goes, “Maybe it's a psychic or maybe you want it to be him. Just matches, it's just your memory Jackie.”
And Rose goes, “What if the big farmers aren't the big farmers we think they are?” And Jackie goes, “Oh no, they're big farmers. Humans used to be human, now they're big farmers.” And she goes, “They're blurry.” And Doctor goes, “Yeah, I don't know. They're pressing themselves into the service of the world but a footprint doesn't look like boots.” Good old Doctor's observation. Let's see. Footprint doesn't look like a boot.
Big doing Sudokus. Raj is doing Sudokus. Let's see. Book 509 maybe. Yvonne goes, “Yeah we just had a go shift.” There's lot of random equipment in the lab. A big flat, first it looked like, one angle it looked like a flat sphere and then in other angles it looks like an actual sphere. Everybody's got a Bluetooth thing in their ear. Then Raj, he goes to touch it and he goes to touch, holds his hand up to the sphere but he can't touch it, it's kind of this weird moment.
Then we have a couple coworkers that seem like they like each other. One of them says, “I'm going to go double check the stacks.” They're like IMing each other. They go out. They say, another one says, “I'm going to go cross check the levels.” A familiar person, you can see start them one of the actor actresses, you could see that one of these characters, the person portraying them is clearly gets star quality. They say, then they talk about snogging which again I had to look up. Does that just mean kissing or the other thing?
Then I didn't like the guy Gareth. One of them uses the term daft and there's lot of tarps and then we see a cyber person. We say, “Well Gareth didn't know the cyber person was.” Then we go back to Rose and Doctor and the TARDIS. Rose brings a newspaper onto the TARDIS. It said, “Big farmer's going to be the MP for Leeds. What are we going to do.”
And then we have a cute little moment where the Doctor's kind of like a steampunk big farm buster, like a Dustbuster. Super cute moment and he's marching around. Which I don't remember the Dustbusters marching but he says, “Who you going to call?” And Rose says, “Dustbusters.” And he says, “I ain't afraid of no ghost.” And then there's action music.
Don't you think this is something. What does that say? But they're trying triangulate where the Dustbusting's coming from like tracing paper or something. Oh Jackie says, “Why do you have to reduce everything to science? Isn't this beautiful?” And Doctor goes, “No. I don't think so.” Let's see, Sudoku, that's the top of the page.
He tells Rose kind of how to operate all the trackers and what buttons and levers to use while he's out there. Setting 15B, eight seconds, goes below deep skin and they'll have to but don't push that one. Push the other one that's close to it. Jackie watches this with the hands in her pockets.
We go back to Torchwood. Roaming up a double booth toothed on the lovebirds. We see the two coworkers, they have double Bluetooth now. Then we go back to actor and Rose and action Jackie's not happy. I think Jackie says, “Shame, shame, know your name.” Let's see, powering up. Sorry we're late. Oh yeah, Jackie is Rose's skin and not great speech. She says, “Why are you starting to look like Doctor?” And Rose goes, “I guess.” She says, “You changed so much.” And Rose goes, “Yeah, I've changed, have evolved.” And Jackie says, “I suppose.” And Rose goes, “Well Mom, I used to work at a department store. Those jobs.” And she goes, “I've worked in a department store.” And Jackie goes, “What happens when I become a big farmers?” And Rose goes, “No. What?” And she goes, “Really. Then you'll never come back to Earth. Then what?” And Rose goes, “I don't know. I'm figuring out who I am.”
This is paraphrasing. Jackie goes, “You'll never settle down.” And Rose goes, “The Doctor won't and I won't. I'm just going to keep on traveling.” And Jackie says, “And changing. In 40, 50 years time, you won't even be a regular earthling anymore. You'll be a billion miles away.” And I said, “Jackie I don't appreciate that, the way you're talking.” But it was great writing. And then Doctor, we hear one of the great ones, line, “Come on, you beauty. Ha, ha, ha.”
And we're onto the big farm shift back at Torchwood headquarters. The Doctor's got his 3D glasses on as he's analyzing it. Back he basically realized someone's interfering. The Doctor's working like radio knobs with radio sound effects. They track them. Do they do some Dustbusting of big farmer? But it's still not clear what's happening. But then they track them to a SC15 or something council estate, the Powell estate. And then the Doctor's on the move because the big farm shift ends.
And then they spot him though with the CCCTV. They say, “OMG, it's the Doctor and the TARDIS.” And the Doctor's running like a lot of the heavy what do you call it? It's heavy on the Doctor being funny at the beginning. I don't know if this is the first one but this is the first time I ever remember hearing him say, “Allons y,” which is A-L-L-O-N-S Y. It does sound like a French word. Yeah, because it actually say, “I like that, allons y. I'm going to say allons y more often. Allons y. Watch out Rose, allons y.” You heard allons y. I don't know how to say it but it just sort of feels like, it feels good in my mouth. And he just goes, “I'd like to say Alonzo, allons y Alonzo, every time.”
Now the TARDIS is moving and Rose is kind of staring and she goes, “Dude, Jackie's onboard.” And Jackie goes, “I don't want to end up on Mars.” Then the TARDIS comes into a warehouse. Cut to the chase, look after Jackie. Because actor has to go out. They're busted by the Torchwood team Torchwood and they say, the Doctor says, “Don't worry. I'll handle this. You stay here with Jackie.” And everyone is so happy to see the Doctor, they say, “Hooray.” They clap for him. The Doctor kind of reacts in a funny way. First he hold his hands up then he puts his finger to his lips and he does the cut to cut the applause sign.
Capricorn, yes, grabs Jackie. Now they say, they say, “Don't you always travel with a companion? We know, we got your file.” But then the Doctor pulls Rose, Jackie out and the Doctor gives Jackie a hard time. He goes, “You're not the, it's very,” he goes, “too blonde, not steady on her pins. Just last week she stared into a time vortex, aged 57 years.” Even says, “I'm willing to trade.” It's kind of just he's giving her, and then he says, “Anyway, allons y.” And Yvonne says, “Well geez, we've been waiting for you, welcome to Torchwood.” And then see some spaceships, the Doctor says, “Well how'd you get a spaceship?” They go, “Oh yeah, it's we got it for parts. Remember the Sycorax, that was us.” She goes, “The Torchwood Institute has a motto, if it's from outer space, it's ours for the good of the British Empire.”
And Jackie says, “British Empire, there isn't one.” They go, “Not yet.” And then they show a particle beam. They say, “Art in life. People skills.” They show a particle beam and she says, “Thank you Sebastian.” She goes, “You got to know people's names in this century. It's about the people skills.” And Doctor goes, “Any Alonzo's here?” And then he goes, “By the way, what's yours?” She goes, “Yvonne Hartman.” And then the Doctor picks up some magnet thing that reduces mass. Torchwood doesn't use, they only use metric things. But only for Torchwood's benefit not for the general public. This is a lot of backstory and history.
Doctor says, “What's up with the big farmers?” They go, “It's a side effect of some work we're doing.” They say, “Geez, there's so much you can teach us.” Also see the TARDIS, Doctor's like, “You're never getting back. You're never getting in there.” Let's see.
Imperial ton. Doctor's eye. We see Doctor's eye under a magnifying glass. Rose gets off the TARDIS with the psychic paper and Rose in the hall. Doctor's in the hall. They're talking about the history of Torchwood which jumps back to 1879, episode The Season with Queen Victoria. That's when it all started. Oh that was Torchwood states. I go, “Yeah Doctor, you're going to teach us so much.” They go into the sphere room. Doctor stares up. Jackie says, “This thing feels..