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NP season 2 episode 12 Nanny vs. Daycare


Welcome to The Nanny Podcast, my name is Hanna Schaer from Riviera Nannies, I am your host today. I am so happy you are here :)


This week we are going to talk about some of the differences between nanny and daycare as childcare options. This is I suppose geared towards families making the choice, and can be helpful for nannies both as a perspective, but also to have a leg to stand on when negotiating and talking to a family.


Let’s jump right in :)


The first thing that we should talk about is the big elephant in the room, cost.


Having a private nanny for your child is most likely going to cost you a lot more than if they were in daycare. But not always. Depending on how many hours you do it will make more or less of a difference, but in general, a nanny is more expensive than daycare.


The second big question for me as a parent is how much your kid is going to be sick when they are little. There are many variables there, but in general a child in daycare is sick a lot more than one that is with a nanny. But of course, if you are lucky enough to find a daycare where parents don’t bring their kids when they are sick and follow good guidelines, then they might not be as sick as with a nanny who is not well versed in hygiene and illness prevention. But again, generally, for the first year or so, a kid in daycare is sick a lot more than one with a nanny, which might even end up costing you a lot more in lost work time, so a lot of the money saved putting a child in daycare might be lost in sickdays where you either miss work or have to get a, wait for it, nanny.


Getting your child socialized, able to make friends, share toys and function in a group happens organically in most daycares. But, on the other hand when you have a great nanny, he or she will be taking part in playgroups, meet with other kids, learn basic social skills, including good manners and interacting with others, so in this case I think it’s more a question of having a great nanny with an intentional routine, vs how it happens kind of on its own in daycare.


Making friends is closely related to socialization where your kids will make friends from an early age. Again this happens more organically in daycare, but with some organizing you can do the same things with the same kids every week, like music or dance lessons. It’s not really the same as spending all day together though, so if this is important, daycare has the advantage.


The last point I will go over is attention. Your child will get much more personalized attention with a nanny, and this has both advantages and disadvantages depending on your point of view. And again, with a skilled and experienced nanny it will never be an issue. I know kids who have grown up without siblings and with a nanny who are perfectly well adjusted and don’t have any of the possible issues anyone who thinks too much attention can create. A great nanny will meet your kids needs in a way no daycare really can.


So what do I think you should do? I think it really depends on your situation and your values. Ideally I think being with a full time care taker for the first few years of life is beneficial. Less stress, slower pace, more focus and attention. Then going into school goes seamlessly. And if being part of the daycare community where you live is important to you, then that’s what you should do. I come from a culture where people put their kids in daycare at age one. I would personally not make that choice, and didn’t, but it seems to work for lots of people. Even though they do complain a lot of how sick their kids are all the time, so there is that part too.


Nannies, when you are talking to families these are all points you can bring up when discussing their needs and how you can help them :)


Thank you so much for spending some time with me today, if you like the show please remember to subscribe and rate us. If you want to connect with me on social media I’m @rivieranannies on most platforms.


This week’s episode is brought to you by Mamatoto Radio. A brand new podcast where we talk motherhood, amazing mothers around the world tell their stories of motherhood. You do not want to miss it :)


Next week we are going to be talking about what a governess is. See you then :)
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Nanny Podcast season 2 episode 11 “What do you ask when interviewing?”


Welcome to the Nanny Podcast, my name is Hanna Schaer from Riviera Nannies and I am your host today. I am so happy you are here :)


Today we are going to talk about what you ask when you are interviewing, either with an agency, or for a job.


I have a pretty radical view on collaborations that most people don’t have. Are you ready? I don’t believe in hierarchy. At least not in the traditional sense. I don’t think anyone is above or below, I think we all bring value and that it would benefit us all to see that value in each other.


So that’s my radical belief. What do you think?


Some people might think that when I say that they are welcome to sweep in and do whatever in my business, family or wherever we are moving. That’s not true. Lack of this particular structure does not mean lack of integrity. Just getting that out of the way.


So when I hire childcare it is with the understanding that they need a job, I need their service. When a client comes to me, they need a nanny, my business needs clients and we happen to provide what they need. We are in symbiosis. It is very tempting to try to take advantage of this situation, but it’s not a good idea. People like me will then move on. I can assure you, it’s not worth it.


So, what does this little speech have to do with the questions you ask when interviewing, you ask? Everything :)


During an interview, we are getting to know each other. Say for example you are interviewing with an agency, but it’s the same with a family, really. I am interviewing you, and you are interviewing me. With that comes a huge responsibility for both of us.


We both have to be open and honest. We both have to see how we fit. We both have to behave ourselves (who knows what repercussions burning a bridge has?).


So what questions do you want to ask?


Well that depends on what you want to know doesn’t it?


For the nannies and families that are registered with us you know that our intake is quite deep. I am not interested in the things you happily volunteer, I want to understand the answer to the question underneath so that I can serve you better. Place you in a better fitting family. Find you a better nanny.


So when you apply for a job, you should think about what your values are. Maybe write down your top five or so priorities. Is faith important to you? Is lifestyle important? What about parenting philosophy? Remember, you can only change you. Everyone else is off limits and you are not here to convince people they are something they know in their hearts they are not.


Write down what is important, and ask questions that get you the real answers. For example, if you ask someone if they like to eat healthy, that might mean something completely different to them. Instead, ask them what eating healthy looks like to them. Let them share their stories with you, let them show you and lead you to the answers you need.


Do you need long days? What is a long day?


Be as specific as you can while leaving as much room as possible in the answer to get to what you are looking for.


I am personally not a haggler and I always assume that when someone says something, for example what kind of salary they are looking for, or what a service costs, I go in with the notion that they understand that they are comfortable disqualifying themselves from all jobs with a lower salary. Just because I ask them or they say it, it doesn’t mean that job exists. I have had nannies say they want to earn 30 euros per hour, and I respect that, and at the same time I know that it’s not quite realistic for most jobs.


Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I would love to hear what you think, you can always email me at hello@rivieranannies.fr and put podcast in the subject line. And don’t forget to rate us if you like us where you listen to your podcast :)


This episode is brought to you by the Mamatoto community. It’s a free and wonderful community for mothers through pre conception, through pregnancy, birth and into motherhood. Join at mamatoto.info


Join me again next week when we will be talking about nanny vs. daycare. See you then :)
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​Nanny Podcast season 2 episode 10 “Becky Sharp”


Welcome to the Nanny Podcast, my name is Hanna Schaer from Riviera Nannies and I am your host today. I am so happy you are here :)


I think imagining different fictional people in their jobs, why they are there, what kind of personalities they have and what brought them to where they are is really fun. So I thought, today we are going to talk about Becky Sharp, the fictional governess in Vanity Fair. Becky is thought to be a composite inspired by several real women. And that isn’t really surprising to me, what do you think?


Becky Sharp is the first time a governess was the main character of a story, she was poor without social status, and typically at the time her friend Amelia would have been the main character.


So Becky does something that with the tweaks and twirls of time and culture still happens today, doesn’t it? From a cynical point of view we can read her as being a ruthless opportunist who uses people as stepping stones in her quest to climb the social ladder to riches and glamour. I have seen it in the CVs I get from people from marginalized countries with no childcare experience who say “I will take any job in Monaco”. (just a side note, we do not work with people who are not in it with the same values we have, quality is king with us, so no thank you.)


From a less cynical and more modern and entrepreneurial perspective she disregards the social norms of the time and goes out to get what she wants. I see that too in CVs I get from people who tell me, I know I don’t have any childcare experience, can you please help me build my CV to be a nanny. For those people, I am happy to see if I can help.


We touch on this in different scenarios of nanny placement. Everyone loves a love story, but I personally don’t love opportunism, and the way I read Becky Sharp is as an opportunist, mostly, who doesn’t care too much, if at all, who she hurts along the way to what she wants, or thinks she wants. Being a governess is a serious and really important job, not a stepping stone to marry the dad in the family. Or is it?


Remember a few weeks ago when we talked about families who want to hire an ugly nanny. Lots of you were outraged on Instagram, and this is probably one of the reasons we ever get requests like that. If there weren’t men naive and stupid enough to cheat on their wives ever chance they got, and if there weren’t women who didn’t think twice about destroying a family, going for what they want, would we get requests like that?


You can always trace it back at least one step backwards, and just for fun, let’s do it. In Becky’s case, I think she was driven by a combination of unfulfilled fantasies and a desire to be all the things she dreamed of and thought she should have. In a modern marriage there are a lot less definitive no gos as long as all parties are aligned, so somehow the request for unattractive childcare for your kids should sometime soon become anachronistic and not really fit in with how we communicate and collaborate as couples and families. But I get it, I have seen Becky’s and I don’t like it. At the same time with honest intentions I do think people and women especially should go out and follow their dreams. So where do we land?


The point is that you can read Becky in different ways, and there is lots of literary analysis done on her persona and on the work itself. If you haven’t read the book or seen the film, I would recommend it.


I would love to hear what you think of Becky’s and other personality types :) email me at hello@rivieranannies.fr and put podcast in the subject line.




Thank you for spending some time with me today. This week’s episode is brought to you by Mamatoto Nannies, the sister company to Riviera Nannies that places domestic staff to VIP families worldwide. Visit mamatoto.info to learn more about both registering as nannies and families.


Don’t forget to rate us if you like the podcast and to follow us on social media @rivieranannies Next week we are going to talk about what to ask when you are interviewing. See you then :)
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​I want an ugly nanny




Welcome to the Nanny Podcast, I am so happy you are here.


Today I am going to tell you about a request we have gotten in different variations that always leave me with more questions and feelings than others might.




The request is, I want an ugly nanny. First of all, we do not have any ugly nannies. I have met very few ugly people in my life, it’s hard for me to even think of someone ugly, and this is about to get a little personal, so be warned. You know how we say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder? What does categorizing people as ugly or not ugly say about you?


I am guessing that the people asking for ugly nannies have a few things going on, first they have decided what is visually appealing in a person, my guess is that they don’t know or understand a lot about personality or charisma, which is what most people are ultimately attracted to, but they base their judgement on a person’s physique, facial features and grooming habits, maybe? If they met me what would they think? Their ugly algorithm would probably put me in the ugly category.




The other thing they have going on, apart from judging people around them based on their parameters of beauty is a level of insecurity that makes me feel sad. I’m going to tell you a personal story about a nanny, my husband and a very insecure wife who heard the story.


A few years ago we had a nanny do a trial with us, she didn’t last long, one of the reasons you will find out about in a minute, but that was really the smallest of the reasons, she was not good with kids and didn’t have honest intentions, her flirting with my partner was mostly funny. So I come home from a meeting, my husband and I both work from home. I hear her fake laughing in the dining room where my husband is having lunch and I know him so I knew how uncomfortable that makes him. He gave me the “help me” look as he sneaked out when I came. She would ask him for computer help and have lingerie pages open when he came to her screen, make inappropriate comments and be very flirty with him. I didn’t like it, but it was really my husband who was most uncomfortable with it. A nanny who does that by the way will get fired, at some point. And nannies with this kind of intentions will net get through our screening process, it is very obvious to us what your intentions are, so don’t even.


So I was telling the stories to some friends at a party and one of the moms gasped and was worried for me that he would leave with her. To me, being in a respectful and loving relationship that was not even on my radar, and also, if he wanted to be with her, I am very obviously not a good fit for him and he should leave. So she said “but you don’t want him to leave you do you”. Of course not, but he is not my prisoner. And we love each other and have chosen to live together, and most of all trust each other, other people flirting with us is most of the time not a problem. And I do not want to be my partner’s prison warden. So I think that families who ask for ugly nannies are more like the gasping mom who worries that her partner will leave, and less trusting, that’s my guess.


And of course the nanny who was doing the trial with us was not professional, honest or a person you would want to work with or have take care of your children, but it is a bummer that the assumption that an attractive nanny will try to get in someone’s pants first chance she gets, and it’s sad to think that a partner in a committed relationship would fall for it.


The nannies we work with are professionals, and even though there are people in many industries who rely on their sexuality to get ahead, I have personally been more bothered by the hair flicking woman in the short skirt at my partner’s software company than our flirting nanny, when you know serious nannies you know that it is not a stereotype in the profession.


So you might be asking yourself, but Hanna, affairs between dads and nannies happen, so how do we avoid them?


The times we see it in the tabloids, I don’t think it has much to do with it being a nanny and a dad. I think it’s people who connect and for whatever reasons end up filling a need in each other, it might be a lack of affection, communication or connection. Why do people cheat? There are lots of reasons and lots of research done on the subject, I think most of the time it is when something is unfulfilled in them, I don’t think it has anything to do with their partner, it’s a personal problem and it won’t be fixed by hiring an ugly nanny, just like avoiding a bar does not cure an alcoholic, setting up an obstacle course to make it harder to cheat or drink is a short term solution. What you might want to ask yourself is why you feel like that and talk to your partner about your insecurities, and heal that insecurity instead of insulating your bubble with judgements about other people and making sure your partner sees less pretty by hiring people you find ugly to surround you.


There is so much beauty and awesomeness. Don’t seek out the ugly.


Thank you for spending some time with me today. Head over to Instagram and follow us @rivieranannies and let us know what you want me to talk about next :)
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​Welcome to the Nanny Podcast, I’m Hanna from Riviera Nannies, I am so happy you are here today.


Today I wanted to talk about a complaint that I sometimes see from families, that their nanny is always sick.


I think there are two ways to see and talk about this.


First, is your nanny ok? Is she getting sick from your kid and is she ok? Is she really sick or is she not happy coming to work? For most issues, talking about it and having good communication with your nanny will resolve a lot of problems, so first, talk to her. What is going on with her?


I know how frustrating it can be as a family when you depend on your nanny for your work and to make sure that your kids are well taken care of. There is so much guilt and feelings of not being enough as a parent anyhow, you have hired a nanny because you want your kids taken care of, and now she is not there as consistently as you need. How can you support yourself and your nanny for this to work?


Talk to her. Ask her if there is anything she needs? You get the idea, see her and talk to her. Maybe tell her about how you stay away from germs situations or support yourself during flu season.


The other thing is of course, is it your kid passing germs to her that makes her always sick? Kids have germs and they often make their caretakers sick. There are lots of things to do to prevent it like eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, taking your supplements of vitamins, minerals and probiotics, and of course, washing your hands and having good hygiene, but sometimes when the kids are sick a lot, whoever is close to them will be too. So what do you do then?


Most families realize this and gives the nanny time to recover, which benefits everyone of course. Legal requirements are different in different countries, we are just talking about the ethical requirements that all employment should have in my opinion. It does not benefit anyone if your nanny is working when she is sick. In some cases maybe look over routines to make sure you eliminate some ways germs might spread. This requires good communication and listening skills on both sides, if someone gets defensive it won’t work. Approach it with kindness and without judgement. We have routines in our house depending on what kind of bugs the kids have to make sure they spread as little as possible. Knock on wood it works most of the time.


The thing to make sure though, as a nanny is that you eat well. Cut out sugar and processed foods. Eat whole foods, take your vitamins, minerals and probiotics. Get your vitamin D levels checked. Move your body, take care of yourself. And get enough sleep. And if you are a family that struggles with a nanny being away a lot, talk to her, and express your desire that she is healthy.


Thank you for spending some time with me today.


Today’s episode is brought to you by Mamatoto, the community for moms through pregnancy and birth and into motherhood. Go to Mamatoto.info to join the club.


Go over to Instagram and follow us @rivieranannies where we post all kinds of nanny things. See you next time :)



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