“My 12-year old wants to learn to cook scrambled eggs!” exclaimed a mom. Yay! Any time your child wants to learn new, practical skills is a cause for celebration.
And what, you may ask, is adulting? For starters, it was the most popular new word of 2016 among millennials. The Urban Dictionary defines it as:
Adulting (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups. (More popularly, doing something grownup and responsible).
Adulting (in the articles I've seen) includes activities and skills as varied as boiling an egg, doing your taxes, sewing on a button, and networking. There's increasing content popping up about it. And there are now books and… wait for it… classes and coaches to teach young adults how to function in the kitchen, with a checkbook, and on the job. Parents are on the bandwagon, too, requesting that Home Ec classes be brought back to schools. Yes, we should bring back Home Ec, to supplement what happens in the home.
(I apologize in advance if what follows sounds like a rant, in black and white. It does, however, get to the heart of some of the struggles facing parents and their emerging young adults. Take what you like and toss the rest.)
Simply put, this new term describes basic preparation for life, a great deal of which used to take place in the home. I know, with two working parents, it's challenging. But these days, it seems as if more is being handed off to outsiders, rather than children learning by observing and mimicking their parents, in situ. This is common in the animal kingdom; however, many human parents are going in a different direction, consulting with ‘experts’ to help launch their kids. (Add this to a growing list of expenses!)
I am concerned about our children being spoon fed their learning about life in controlled situations like the classes and events mentioned. What they need is resilience, curiosity, and a sense of adventure about what's coming up, for both the known and the unknown. Did you ever have to learn-as-you-go on a job? I did, for every job I had. It was challenging, confusing and sometimes scary. It certainly helped me grow up and build confidence. When we smooth the way for all learning, it works against our kids. On-the-job training definitely builds character.
On a parenting forum, one parent was bemoaning the fact that her daughter was going off to college without some essential skills for daily living. She wanted to do a crash course/mini-intervention to prepare her for the basics of a somewhat independent life at college.
While it’s never too late to learn new skills, waiting until the summer before college is not the best way to go. This kind of learning can begin when your child is a toddler, and ultimately contributes to self-awareness, self-regulation and relationship skills. When children participate in, and learn from, the daily life of a family, contributing their energy, time and brainpower, they grow in immeasurable ways. (They may not embrace it enthusiastically, but trust me, they do grow.) This is the beginning of ‘adulting’.
Do you want your child to be a team player? The family is the first team. What about contributing to the functioning of something bigger than himself, no matter how boring the task? That begins at home. Building self-esteem? It starts in the family. Relationship skills? It’s not always pretty, but family relationships teach you about the bigger world.
Pretty much everything your child needs to go out into the adult world of higher education, job, and relationships of all kinds can be learned at home: positive attitude, integrity, self-awareness, curiosity, and all those character traits we talk about. As for networking skills, tax preparation and the like, much of this is information. These things can be researched (our kids are internet wizards) or they can hire someone to fix, repair and train.
Basic life skills and productive attitudes can be taught at home at an early age, and it may not be as time-consuming as you imagine. This underpinning is the true process of adulting. Like it or not, you are their most important teacher. Go forth and teach!
Fern Weis is a Parent Coach and Family Recovery Life Coach. She works with parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, from the homework wars to addiction recovery, and all points in between. Fern helps parents release guilt, end enabling, and confidently prepare their children to thrive and be successful through life's challenges. FernWeis.com | 201-747-9642
The Madison Dog Resort & Spa are northern New Jersey’s premier 7200 sq ft cage-free boutique dog resort and spa. They are located in Waldwick – and due to the overwhelming response and demand – they opened a second location in Wayne, and a third in Hawthorne. They are changing the pet care industry and believe in the quality of care over the quantity of dogs to provide exceptional care with lots of love for your four-legged family members. Their state of the art facility lets your dog get loose, play with new friends and most importantly expend excess energy - only $22 for half day!
All guests are separated into small intimate groups according to size and temperament and monitored by certified Vet Technicians. Play areas are designed with orthopedic conscious flooring to help reduce the risk of injury to joints, tendons and bones.
They provide the following personalized services to meet your individual needs: Day Care, Luxury Canine Boarding, Grooming & Spa Services, Training, Canine Boutique, Photography, Friday Night Mixers, Special Events and MUCH more!
The Madison Dog Resort & Spa is your one-stop location for all of your dogs' needs!
The Ridgewood Guild will be hosting Winterfest festivities in Ridgewood for you to enjoy with your family from 12pm - 3pm on Saturday.
Memorial Park at Van Neste Square will be decorated for the holidays. You can watch and interact with a sculptor as he sculpts blocks of ice, enjoy a horse drawn hayride throughout town, or a trackless train ride in the park.
There will be stories read, carolers walking throughout town, music, complimentary hot chocolate, cookies, candy canes, gifts and even a visit from Santa!
#ShopSmall and enjoy the holiday savings this weekend!
When families live at a distance, the holidays can be the only time to assess how an aging parent or relative is doing. It is useful to use the time together to evaluate possible changes in health and safety. When visiting here are 6 areas of change to pay attention to:
Change in weightChange in emotional stateChange in cognitive functioning Change in energy levelChange in mobility and gaitChange in hygieneChange in home environment
Indicators that there is a change in cognitive functioning can be found in the person or the environment.
Signs of changes in the person include:
Decline in retaining new informationRepeated questionsSearching for familiar items such as wallet, keys, hearing aidsChallenges with planningWithdrawal during social activities
Signs of changes in the environment include:
Is a parent or relative who has been very neat, organized and independent no longer so?Is there clutter in their living space?Are items laying around or misplaced?Is there spoiled food in the refrigerator?Dirty dishes?Burnt pots & pans?Foul odors?Significant items out of order or in need of repair?Check prescription bottles- count the # of pills and the correspondence to the refill date?Are there unpaid bills?
If your parent or relative is driving, check the vehicle both inside and out. Is there a change in the condition? Go for a ride as a passenger to assess their driving skills as a safe and competent driver.
Once information has been gathered, the next step is communicating your concerns to your parent or relative. It is important to be available for their input and together discuss ideas to improve the situation. The appropriate time and place for the conversation and conveying your concerns in a non- threatening manner are critical to a successful outcome.
Vivian Green Korner, MA, Certified Dementia Practitioner, is a dementia care specialist in private practice. She works with families who need guidance, direction and help with decisions that they need to make when caring for an individual with dementia. Vivian’s goal is to support families with practical advice, solutions to deal with the many challenges and help families to find the best match to programs, services and professionals.
Pumpkin in our pancakes? Why not! Take advantage of pumpkin season when these large orange fruits, loaded with beta carotene, are easy to find. We used buckwheat flour in this yummy pancake because it’s a rich source of flavonoids (plus it’s edible for people with wheat allergies), and we added ground flaxseeds to provide omega-3 fatty acids. This delicious, vitamin-packed pancake is easy and fun to make with the whole family! Drizzled with pure maple syrup, this recipe is a fall favorite.
1 cup pumpkin, roasted (1 medium-sized pumpkin), or canned, no sugar added 1 Tablespoon sunflower (or canola, walnut, safflower) 1 cup buckwheat flour (or 1/2 cup whole wheat flour & 1/2 cup enriched white flour) 2 teaspoons baking powder ½ teaspoon baking soda 3 Tablespoons brown sugar 2 Tablespoons ground flaxseeds ½ teaspoon sea salt 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 2 large eggs 1½ cup low fat buttermilk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1. If roasting pumpkin, preheat oven to 375° F. 2. Cut top of pumpkin, around stem, and remove seeds and stringy insides. 3. Place pumpkin standing upright, drizzle oil inside, and place in oven until softened, for approximately 30-40 minutes. 4. Scoop out pumpkin and set aside. 5. In large bowl, mix buckwheat flour, baking powder, baking soda, brown sugar, flax, salt, and cinnamon. 6. Add eggs, buttermilk, and vanilla extract to flour mixture, and stir until moistened. 7. Add pumpkin and stir until blended. 8. Place griddle or pan over medium heat and pour about ¼ cup of pancake batter per cake onto griddle. Cook until top is bubbly, flip to other side, and cook until browned. 9. Stack pancakes and serve with your favorite fruit topping!
Makes approximately 7 servings (2 pancakes per serving).
Nutrition Facts per pancake: 80 calories; 3g fat (1g sat fat, 1g mono, 1g poly, 0g trans fats); 30mg cholesterol; 11g carbohydrate (2g fiber, 4g sugar); 3g protein; 270mg sodium; 15% Daily Value (DV) vitamin A; 2% DV vitamin C; 8% DV calcium; 10% DV iron.
E. Ridgewood Ave. at Train Station, E. Ridgewood Ave & Broad St
This is Ridgewood's annual celebration Downtown for the Holidays and Tree Lighting Celebration - and Santa IS in Ridgewood so bring your list! Lots of music and entertainment for the whole family!
Early Event - "For the Kids" 5:30 - 7pm - Santa will be in the Park for the little ones. On the streets, the RHS Marching Band and Holiday Chorus will be marching and singing up and down E. Ridgewood Ave...making Merriment with their instruments and voices.
7pm - "On Stage Live" On stage is where the excitement happens, lots of singing and dancing by the kids to help us get ready to light our beautiful tree...."Magical" are the words they use.
7:30pm - Lighting of the Tree
8pm -9pm "Merriment on E. Ridgewood Ave" Shhhh! Santa will be back in the park Lots of music on the avenue
*Restaurant reservations suggested
THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING SPONSORS:
COLUMBIA BANK VALLEY HOSPITAL VAN DYK HEALTHCARE FREEDOM BANK Keller Williams Village Sq. Realty Santoni's Pizzeria, Minute Man Express HoHoKus Urlrich, Inc. Country Pancakehouse & Restaurant West Bergen Mental Healthcare, Inc. Connectone Bank Biltmore Tuxedos Life Opportunities Unlimited Ridgewood Party Rental C.C. Van Emurgh, Inc. Charles J.X. Kahwaty, Esq. It's Greek to Me S&S Produce Farms Clemente Orthodontic Jamboree 2019 Art of Motion Porch Light Production Primrose School of Paramus Sushi Sakurabana
Little Nest Portraits is a boutique photography studio specializing in newborn, children and family portraiture. In-studio and on-location, we find that split second where chaos meets beauty, giving you a permanent memory of your family’s wonderful magic.