I lost my job 12 days postpartum and went through a torturous emotional rollercoaster ride over the last 5 months but ultimately the leaders from my organization are really trying to make it right. I now have two opportunities in front of me and I'm torn. On one hand, last week I was offered and accepted a job I would love, similar to the one I lost but at a bigger scale, tons of opportunities to learn and in a position I'm passionate about. It's less stable and the leader has a reputation of toxicity and made it clear upon the offer that I am not going to be well respected. I'm pretty resilient and prepared for this. To counter that, however, I have just been asked today by a really great leader who I really like, to interview for a position that I would be very good at, but would be exhausting, pay less, and have about 100 direct reports - it is a "fixer upper" and I would be the boss. The team is stable and supportive, but not a lot of growth opportunities. I am not guaranteed an offer, but if I interviewed and the first boss found out, I don't think that it would go over well. What would you do?
So I go back to work in 2 weeks after having 5 months of maternity leave (mostly unpaid, of course). And I can NOT wait to not nurse this little milky monster every hour of his life! We went from eating every 1.5-2/3 hours to him needing to nurse every hour on the hour (unless he is sleeping- which is not very long either). I’m at a loss on how to extend the time in between because when he’s with me he knows milk is always there! I swear he smells it on me.
My boobs need. a. break. And I will happily nurse him when I get home. I bet I’ll even miss it! And I think when he’s not around me 24/7 he will realize that there is a bit more to life than nursing.
I’m on my fourth day back at work and I just really loath pumping. It’s time consuming, I drop milk all over, my boobs do not like it, and it’s just awkward. I’m sure I’ll get a better routine down but right now I just despise it. Baby is getting her milk and that’s what’s important.
Hi moms, long time lurker here and love the advice given to this community. It has helped me on my darkest days so thank you to all!
I would love thoughts on how other working moms build and deepen friendships with other working moms. Is this even possible? I find that when I do meet a new mom friend, we can manage to meet for a play date at best once a month. Definitely not conducive to growing a friendship.
With the little down time I do have, it’s mostly taken up my chores, spending time with the little one (15 months) and having 1:1 time with my husband. Any strategies for developing a more regular community? It’s very easy to start feeling isolated. Thank you!
TLDR: 18 month old loved school, we moved and started new daycare 2 weeks ago. Kid never had drop off freakouts before but now has major meltdowns every morning. drop offs are quick but it doesn't help. Is he still adjusting or does he just not like the place?
Kiddo (18 months) has been in daycare since he was 4 months old. We never had a problem with drop offs or pick ups. He was always happy to go to school and happy to come home. 4 weeks ago we moved cross country to be closer to family. We started a new daycare 2 weeks ago and things are not going well. The first two days he was fine. Apprehensive, but no tears and seamed okay at drop off and pick up. After the first two days though, drop offs are a nightmare. Cries, screams, gets red faced and hot and wails. Sometimes cries so hard he pukes a little. Every single morning.
We talk school up all morning, we talk about what we will do. We've tried having both of us drop him off, just me, or just dad. Still the meltdown. We keep drop offs quick. Okay we're at school, I love you and I'll pick you up later. Bye bye. Leave. I feel like we're doing all the things you're supposed to do, but the drop off meltdowns are getting worse, not better. It doesn't help that he's also usually crying when we pick him up too. Big wet tears.
The teachers say he's fine throughout the day, but I have no way to know. So my question is, how long does it usually take for a toddler to adjust? Is this just adjustment or do you think there is something there he's just not vibing with? FWIW, I don't think they are mistreating him, but these freakouts are really out of character for him in terms of daycare. He used to love school!
Not looking for "Pull him out now!" advice, just want to know reasonable expectations for toddler adjusting to new situations and maybe what to ask the teachers/director to help me with.
For context, we have an almost 2 year old, both work full time, have a solid daycare/grandparent schedule during the week, and are fine financially. We also have enough room and get this, our spare bedroom is completely empty and just waiting to be filled! I am so beyond ready to get pregnant for the second and last time, since I'll be 31 in March (my age matters to me). That will put our kids at about 3 years difference, and that matters to me too! We agreed about a month ago I would go off bc but I'm tracking my cycle so we really aren't trying. He says he's just not ready (but isn't concerned about unprotected sex) and that it will be too chaotic with two kids. Ok....so, I do 85% of the house things, from cleaning to budgeting to planning, etc. In addition to dropping off/picking up from childcare everyday, and his routine was minimally impacted by our first, to say the least. That's not me taking credit for doing more in our home, but that's the reality and I'm fine with it. So to get to the point, I've told him I want to be pregnant by my birthday. When I say this his eyes just kinda glaze over and he nods in response, but it's more just like his reflex when he's blocking the sound of my voice out. (I talk way more than I need too, oops). It's caused some argument, mostly because almost all of our friends and family that are family are ON THE SAME PAGE about their family planning! I'm willing to compromise with me, I don't need to get pregnant this second, but by March, I would really like to. I just don't know how to get him to open up to a compromise, I don't know how to feel like we're on the same page (probably because we aren't), and I also don't know how to stop bugging him about it so that I don't accidentally drive him crazy to the point where we don't even enjoy a second pregnancy. Any suggestions from moms that have gone through a similar situation?
P S. This is my first ever Reddit post, hope it makes sense and not just nonsensical rambling.
I've never worked in the U.S. as a mom (well, I barely worked there a grad student), so I'm trying to figure out a list of non field specific things i should look for in a job. So far I've got - proximity to day care, or at least ease of commute to daycare
- health insurance coverage for me and little one
- flexibility of hours for family emergencies
Is there anything else I"m missing? I think I'm gonna finally be stopping pumping so I won't really have to worry about pump related things anymore. I've been lucky in that my current work place is pretty flexible overall so I haven't had to worry about any of this, but I wonder if there's anything country specific I'm missing. For example, I"m in Hong Kong and if anyone wanted to know, potential things you'd want to ask employers in HK is whether they support the debuntures in international schools for your kids,as they can go up to a million HKD. Housing allowances are also pretty common here if you're an expat.
I'm going through the interview process for a job that would be an absolutely amazing opportunity for me. It's a lot more money and would further advance my career. It also involves travel all over the globe on occasion which is exciting. The interview process has gone amazingly well so far. 5 years ago I would have jumped on it. However, I would lose 10 PTO days, it's at minimum an hour drive in rush hour, and I would potentially max out at 2 WFH days. Travel could be a couple of days to several weeks a year. Therefore I think I'm going to decide to stay with my current job (which I also enjoy but it's extremely stressful). It's kind of an odd feeling being (mostly) comfortable with that decision because it means I see my 2 year old daughter more. That's what I value most over money and career advancement now. However, a very small, selfish piece of me is a bit disappointed and keep wondering "what if". I feel a bit guilty for it. Hopefully they ultimately don't decide to extend an offer and then it's out of my hands! I just needed to share with other moms who probably understand what I'm feeling.
Long story short. I get fantastic feedback from everyone at work. I have advanced quickly in my career and have a great trajectory if I want to go that route. But my husband says he doesn't feel loved by me. I don't blame him. I'm not a very loving person. We do have sex at least once a week but it's generally not "great" sex. Chalk that up to my being 15 weeks pregnant with our second, and our first just turning one a few weeks ago.
I'm tired. I do see where he's coming from but I don't know what to do that won't push me over the edge myself in terms of getting overwhelmed.
Any tips on small but powerful ways to say I love you? His interests are broad, and range from great food, great music, travel, outdoors, etc. He generally just likes to have fun. This shouldn't be so hard, but here I am.