Figure out what makes you truly happy, and do the work to align yourself with it. Don’t live on auto pilot. No matter what your current situation is, you can start creating a life you love. One step at a time. This is the season of new beginnings.
I have a great job, great pay, great friends, and am set up for success.
I recently stopped smoking weed after MANY years of use, and am finding that I really don't like myself when I don't have that crutch. I think it has a lot to do with the extreme abuse I took in middle school...bullies suck.
Any advice on how to move forward? Other than taking more time off, there's not much material/relationship stuff I can change.
Hi there, new here. A short history of me, F(24) I’ve struggled my whole life with depression and anxiety, over two years ago I met someone who mirrored my struggles, someone understood me for the first time and I understood him. Over two years he became my best friend and romantic partner, however I was never his only one and after a recent trip he took with another female, my heart couldn’t take it anymore. After two years of emotional abuse and mental manipulation, I knew he had no intentions of making me a priority, I knew he had no want in loving me. After he stopped talking to me again, I made the final stand. I dropped on all the books i borrowed from him with a note asking he tell his dog, whom I love more than the universe, that I love her.
Here I am almost two weeks later of zero contact, I have had the wave of emotions, anger, hurt, despair, suicidal. You name it, every day I have begged the universe or god or whoever is listening to just bring him back. But in all of the hopelessness I’ve been feeling, I know of a few moments where I had a great deal of peace. Which I am more than thankful for.
I made the choice to love me, to love me the most I ever have, but I find t difficult to give myself credit for that. I know I am someone worth loving and I had to leave him if I ever wanted to be loved by anyone. Me leaving him, as peacefully as I could, was the strongest thing I think I’ve ever done. On the flip side, saying goodbye to his dog, who I have known since he got her, was the worst moment of my life. No final hugs. No words spoken. Just goodbye.
I don’t feel confident that I made the right choice, but I think I made the only choice I had. I fought with the idea of “what if I walk away for good and he finally decides he loves me”, but if he did love me he would have, he had two years of me. I gave him so much of me, I gave him forgiveness I didn’t think even existed in this world, I loved him unconditionally. All of that is gone now. I will find peace in this pain. I am getting ready to begin a whole new life journey, for the first time I am using weed in a reasonable way and not to cover up. I am hopeful of what is coming for me.
Hi all, I thought I would share a little about myself so that you know where I'm coming from.
First off, I've never been on a date before in my life. While I'd like to go out with someone, it's never something I felt like I needed to do. The first time I started feeling self conscious about my looks was around senior prom; I was the only one of my friends not to be asked by anybody (even worse for me, my friends were asked by multiple people). I asked one of my friends to go with me since he had asked a girl who turned him down. He said no and while I get where he was coming from, I must say it hurt my pride. Going to prom dateless earned me a lot of sympathy looks and caused me major embarrassment. It started consuming all my thoughts about why I "wasn't good enough" for other people and I really started to hate myself. It took me a long time to realize that there's nothing wrong with me just because nobody wanted to go with me to prom.
Fast forward to now, my senior year of college. Lately my family and friends have been inadvertently putting me in situations that make me question my worth. I'm not saying that they're trying to make me feel bad about myself, I just don't think they realize they're hurting me. Some examples are -my family was having a conversation one night about my two cousins and I joining the workforce. Someone made the point that more attractive people are hired quicker to which somebody answered by saying that my two cousins should have no issue finding jobs then. -my friends told me that most guys "aren't looking for someone like you". I think they wanted me to think that was a compliment but I don't know how I could have. -my aunt and mom told me that myself and my cousins friend would be a cute couple. I laughed and told them my 17yo cousin would be majorly disappointed since she had a crush on him. Immediately my aunt and mom launched into this whole conversation about how my cousin doesn't know her "self worth" and why would she like this boy when she could do so much better. They were totally oblivious to what they had just said. (I legitimately became very close to crying at this point)
There are other things that have been weighing on my mind lately but I think I've bored you enough (if you even got this far lol). If you have any experience with something like this or ways to get my mind off of this, I'd love to hear your suggestions. I really don't want to be in my twenties and feeling like I did in high school again, it really affected my other pursuits in life back then and I don't want it to hurt me now.