i never really wanna do much social things. crowds make me feel lonely and it’s hard for me to hang out with friends cause i just don’t feel like it. but there’s this one friend who i’ve known since 4th grade (both 9th grade now) and i’ll always hangout with him no matter what
Dealing with the public or being charge isn't fun in general but i think as an introvert it's especially annoying. Im the type that just wants to do my job in peace and quiet. I hate being responsible and dealing with people. I don't need to be someone's emotional punching bag.
I’m on a vacation with much of my extended family. There are 16 of us in total, all in the same hotel. I’m sharing a room with my brother, sister in law, and their baby. Because we don’t see the extended family that often there is a lot of pressure to fill the day with time together. I’m not complaining, I love my family so much and really enjoy spending time with them. However, I’m finding it really hard to stay engaged and happy because I’m getting almost zero alone time to recharge. Any tips?
I recently got myself a pretty sweet job at a local cafe. My manager emphasizes multiple interactions with the customers, maintaining principles close to the culture of the owners and the overall theme of the business.
I close a few times a week, starting at 5pm and leaving at around 12:30am depending on how cashing out goes. There is always only one person working at a time because it’s such a new business.
Because I have the evening shifts, I tend to get more customers and hold conversations and interactions for several hours. At the end of the day, I enjoy most of it. I do experience social anxiety, but it’s typically with those I’m familiar with, but ultimately, I am able to deal with it and enjoy interacting with people.
It’s been draining me every night though. I will get home and get right to sleep and wake up the next morning as if I hadn’t slept at all and my days end up being extremely lethargic and unproductive. The fall semester is rolling around soon too and I don’t want it to carry over in to my studies. I know lots of it has to do with adjusting to my new job as well, but I know the excessive interactions plays a large role.
I know there’s no real way to wiggle myself out of my introversion, but I was wondering if anyone has any tips/advice or even experience similar to mine?
This came across my mind while I was daydreaming.. and I just wondered, "I wish I could be an extrovert, for like a day, just for the experience?" Extroverts, or at least most of them, can stay out late and party or do whatever and not get tired, while us introverts get drained from these types of social activity, or we already refused to go. I want the experience. I've imagined myself dancing or doing something, being confident, and happy, and not be socially anxious, but that never happens. I've been shy since I was a little girl. Didn't go out much (I wasn't allowed to), so I just stayed in my room. Kept to myself. I don't mind being an introvert; I love my alone time, but I just want the experience, y'know?
So obviously I'm an introvert and I have some social anxieties. (I relate to this blog quite a lot.) That being said, I have improved a lot over the past decade. Going on 2 years of solo travel on the other side of the globe, meeting people, getting along well with colleagues, going out, things like that. As much as it's still difficult for me to start a conversation, I do feel like I'm getting better at keeping the conversation going. But it of course also takes the right person to talk to. Anyway, just to give you an idea.
There is one thing that doesn't seem to improve though... Whenever I have plans to meet up with people to go for lunch or dinner, my inside gets damn nervous. While I don't! I really don't feel nervous about it. Whether it's meeting up with friends, former colleagues, former classmates, sometimes even family, I look forward to it, I'm happy and excited about it. I'm even a bit proud because it means I've gotten better at the social stuff, including staying in touch with people that are dear to me. But my inside seems to disagree.
On the day of the lunch/dinner/meetup, my stomach and bowel get fucked up. I need the restroom more than I want to and as soon as I start to eat anything, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Nothing that embarrasses me more than feeling that gag reflex come up during a dinner. Since I've been feeling this "nervosity" coming up in the hours before, I usually have at some point had the option to mention I'm not really that hungry, resulting in me ordering something small and not finishing it, using the "not that hungry" excuse.
Other than that, everything goes perfect though. Good company, food and drinks, fun conversations, really having a good time. As per usual: nothing to be nervous about. And like I said, I don't feel nervous or stressed at all personally, it's just that my stomach and bowel seem to disagree and do get nervous for some reason. I wish I could say it's become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy (knowing it's going to happen, which makes it happen) but that's not even the case as I usually have absolutely no eating problems or disorder on any other moment (even breakfast or lunch on the same day, before the meeting, are not an issue) so no reason to believe it's going to happen. I wish I could say it actually is me being nervous, but I don't feel nervous and I have no reason to be nervous. Maybe it's excitement then, causing the same thing. No idea.
I don't get it and it always bums me out. Overall, I'm very happy with how far I've come (even if I've still got a long way to go to become less socially awkward), but everytime this happens I just feel pathetic.
Anyway. Hoping I'm not the only one, I was wondering what I can do to stop that from happening again? It's so embarrassing..