I work as a bartender and last Tuesday the bar was pretty empty. A few tables were filled up and there was one guy sitting at the bar. I talked to him the whole night because it’s my job and he was the only person there. I thought that he was a nice guy until he slowly revealed himself to be a huge racist. As he kept talking to me and he got drunker he became more comfortable expressing his beliefs. For example, he started talking about trump and how he “didn’t support him” but he thought that “some of his policies are good.” 15 minutes later he was a full-on Trump supporter.
At one point he was talking about Obama and he asked if I voted for him. I usually wouldn’t express my political beliefs at work, but I wanted to make sure that this guy knew that I wasn’t on his side. I told him that I voted for Obama. He cut me off mid sentence and said, “I’ll be honest with you. I don’t care how qualified he is, I don’t think I could ever vote for a nigga.”
I was taken aback. I have talked to racists before but I’ve never met anyone as racist as this man who still used the soft r. It was jarring hearing the phrase “I could never vote for a nigga” because I knew where he was going with his sentence up until the last syllable. His racism was not surprising because at that point in our conversation I was just waiting for him to express his true beliefs. The only surprising thing about that sentence was his usage of the n-word. Was he trying to be respectful? What possible reason could he have for using the soft r?
I know that I probably should have yelled at him or kicked him out of the bar but I didn’t. I understand that this is privileged of me, but I wanted to keep talking to this man to find out why he used the soft r. I asked him to repeat himself and he said, “I just don’t like niggas.” He said it again and this time I paid attention to the confidence with which he said it. It wasn’t an accident and he wasn’t afraid to say the hard r. The transition from the ‘nigg’ to the ‘uh’ was completely fluid. This was not the first time that he used the soft r to express his racism.
He started talking about Jews and stuff like that but I couldn’t pay attention because I was still thinking about the way he said the n word. I cannot emphasize enough how soft that r was. Although the transition was fluid, the two syllables had different tones. The ‘nigg’ was aggressive and a direct contrast to the ‘uh’ which was more of a moan. It sounded like the ‘uh’ bounced off the ‘nigg,’ pulled back, and lingered like the ringing of a gong after it’s been hit. In some ways, ignoring context, his usage of the soft r was more aggressive than the hard r because when the ‘uh’ recoiled off the ‘nigg’ it emphasized the sharpness of the ‘nigg.’ The sound of a gong is not as powerful without the ringing afterwards. The ringing gives the gong sound it’s roundness like the ‘uh’ rounds out the ‘nigg’ and creates the epic ‘nigga.’
Perhaps a hard r would sound more pointed and maybe the soft r is too rich and warm for the racist sentiment. And then it clicked. I had only heard him say the n-word at the end of a sentence. The soft r may be a good end of a sentence but the roundness of the soft r is only a positive if it’s the final word before a pause. Try it at home. Use both n words in the start and end of a sentence and pay attention to the difference that sentence placement makes. If I heard him say a hard r anywhere but the end of a sentence then I had conclusive evidence that he uses the soft r for its sound. I needed to find a way to get him to say the n word mid-sentence.
Hey guys, this is more of a rant than anything, I just needed a place to vent where I know you all would understand.
Tonight sucked ass! I find out one of my customers has taken a turn for the worse and she is actively dying from cancer. I couldn’t help but cry about halfway through the shift. It was a pretty slow night, but I still hated being out from behind the bar as much as I was. She was one of those people who always had an interesting story and she is the mom type who always wanted to see you happy. Cute spunky tiny lady with an incredible fashion sense and just so incredibly sweet. My heart breaks to see her husband crying at the bar as he picked up the food he ordered to go. (We are a bar and restaurant).
Then this girl comes in. She seemed pretty drunk but she wasn’t being a nuisance and she had a ride. She asked for a single, my cobartender poured it for her. We both ignored her quite a bit throughout the night. But then she asked for another drink, I poured half a shot with the rest lemonade. Then she asked me for another about an hour or so later. I poured her water and said she should have that instead. She told me that I will give her what she ordered. I told her that she will have some water. Then I watched as she picked up a beer from the bar that was someone else’s who had stepped 10 feet away to use the bathroom (it’s a small bar). When I told her that wasn’t hers and tried to reach for it, she leaned away while drinking the beer so she was out of my reach, then got up and walked to the back room where everyone was playing pool and towards the exit, (again, small bar, one pool table). I followed her from behind the bar into the pool room and went to tell her she cannot leave. This is where she turns around and throws the beer in my face splashing people and the pool table around me, and ran out the door which was about 2 feet away from her. Of course I followed and told her she could not leave and that I was going to call the cops. I stood in front of the stairs that lead to the back parking lot and she kept pushing me to try and get past me. I told her no she isn’t leaving and someone came and tried pushing her away. I told them not to touch her (for their protection) and I let her leave. My bar is in a small town and several people knew her. Should I press charges for assault?
Lastly, it was so slow we didn’t even get $200 each. I’m so close to the closing of my first home and every penny counts.
Fucking bitch is lucky I didn’t push her down the fucking stairs.
"Ma'am (or Sir), you're being rude. You're welcome to speak to a manager if you have a complaint but you cannot speak to me that way."
I did this once when a lady was yelling at me and she seemed in shock that I stood up for myself in a composed way and everyone else looked at her like she was the asshole. It was great. You can high road the shit out of assholes when you're just super blunt about how they're the one being a dick. Don't give them attitude, don't raise your voice, just stand up straight and tell them they're being rude. It's like kryptonite for dicks. Always remember, you bring people food and drinks, you, under no circumstances, have to take abuse for that.
I have worked way too long in the industry at this point, but sometimes shit really gets to me. Today was one of those days, I actually came on early to catch the end of my NCAA team playing, the girl wanted to leave because she had a slow day. I was still rocking my teams gear (over my work shirt), and let her get out of work early. Within 5 minutes, I was screamed at because my gear supports another bar (college affiliate) nowhere near the one I work at, and I was “supporting a competitor”. Side note it was a zip up shirt over my work shirt but, wtf does he even care about that? I was taken aback, and didn’t know what to say other than walking away from him (another customer came in). He berated me again, and said I screamed at him (which I didn’t) and he wants to close out his tab for various reasons. Apparently he knows the owners, and he took both slips even though I actually never served him anything in the first place., I was closing his 1 beer out from prior bartender. Everyone there said he was a fucking asshole, but that isn’t good enough for me today. Today it bothered me/got to me, and I wish I could have said exactly what I wanted to but was a coward and didn’t say shit. Sorry for this rant, but today this industry got to me hard.
I use to work at this small bar in Indiana with this girl (this girl was a genius!!!). On one pretty slow day these two boys walk in and one look about 14-15 and the other one looks about 12-13 and they come up to the bar and they both have fake IDs and they ordered shots and the girl I worked with being the genius that she was handed the boy shot glasses full of sprite and told them it was vodka they both drank it as we called the police on the kids. Best moment ever!!!!
So I work in a pretty trendy bar / nightclub in my city. We had a foreign DJ in one weekend so the place was extremely busy. The DJ got snowed in and couldn’t make it so people were pissed. I was restocking the mixers and I got a glass thrown at my head while I was bent over, someone throwing up on me and a redneck accusing me of stealing their hat all within the space of an hour. Still, worst part of the night for me was the cleanup.