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Here it is. I knew it was coming though, they were kind of starting up last night. Feel like I've only slept about an hour, my alarm goes off in a couple more. So glad I only work half a day and my job isn't really all that hard. Because this is going to suck. Started out with muscle aches and cramps. Restless leg. Stomach cramps, nausea, head ache. I just want a little bit more sleep, cause I know I need it, and I also know no matter what I'm going to be exhausted all day. Planning on early bedtime this evening as well. It seems so far away at this point. Going to go take a couple hits on my bowl and see if that will help me.
So I’ve been playing video games ever since playing RuneScape in 6th grade. I’m 21 now and I’m starting to worry if I’ll ever stop.
The thing is I’m kind of a loser. I don’t have many friends, and I never want to hang out with them. Most my days are me mindlessly playing fortnite for like 15 hours a day. And I’m barely having fun. I just can’t get myself to do anything else. Because what else is there to do.
My parents hate me because of it. They’re always telling me I should get out the house and I’m like and do what? Because the way I see it, everything else is just so dull and boring. I can’t even watch a movie without getting bored.
I honestly feel like it is too late. Like my life for the rest of my days will be playing video games after coming home from some shitty job.
I have a friend who is addicted to adderall. They have a prescription, but burn through it in a week or two then spend the next two weeks trying to buy more. It's gotten to the point where she needs it to function. Can't wake up without it. No inspiration to work/do stuff without it.
She tried quitting a few times, but she can't handle the being a zombie after stopping. She once went two weeks w/o it because she couldn't buy more and she felt lethargic through that period. I told her it would get better and she's already two weeks out of the woods. Needless to say she went back to it the moment she got her script.
I have some questions regarding ending stimulant use:
1) How long does it take for your body/mind to return to normal after 4-5 years of use?She feels sad and tired without it which I believes leads to her fear of never being normal again.
2) Are there any good, less-addictive alternatives or is it all a bad path at this point?
I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, I met him while he was in a long term rehab. It's been a rollercoaster ride for sure. He continues to lie to me, use different substances behind my back, when I confront him he still lies, I provide proof and he still denies it. He's narcissistic and thinks he does no wrong. I've moved an hour from home to be with him, found new jobs so I could stay close, I've completely uprooted my life to help him, I hardly see my family. I'm at my breaking point. He won't change. All I've asked for is honesty and he won't give that to me, he'll just waits til I go to work, delete messages, hide things and go behind my back. There's no compromise. He wants to do want he wants when he wants with no consequence. He expects me to understand and put up with what he does and not be mad. We rarely have sex and he finds no problem with that. He doesn't emotionally give a shit about anything. If I'm having a bad day he basically disconnects, doesn't ask if I'm ohk or what's wrong, he just sits in silence. He makes zero effort to keeping this relationship good. I love him more than anything but I don't know if this is what I can handle anymore. I'm more depressed than ever, my anxiety is at an all-time high and I'm honestly just not happy. I don't want to leave him, move back home, find yet another job and start life over, but I can't keep going through the cycle I'm stuck in. I'm heartbroken and lost...
(Warning: turns into a rant)Hi, first time posting to this subreddit and thought I would share my story, at the time I’m posting this I’m only 15 but i began smoking weed and drinking alcohol at age 12, you know, because that’s what the cool kids do! I live in a pretty shitty town in Scotland and there was basically nothing else to do, I know weed it’s self isn’t actually addictive but boy does it feel like it, weed becomes your everything, holy shit, i actually began requiring weed to fucking function and do basic everyday activities, any opportunity there was to smoke it or buy it I would, I would smoke it at lunch at school etc. I eventually decided enough was enough 4 months ago when I almost chocked on my own vomit from drinking to much, and I’m proud to say I haven’t smoked or drank in 2 months, which is a pretty good feeling, life is a lot more boring without weed and alcohol but at least it’s life.
Anyway a lot of my friends still drink and smoke weed, and I’m not saying they need to quit and I’m not gonna preach to them to quit or anything like that but some of them take it way to far, for example one of my friends very often will pass out and immediately after waking up start drinking again, they never take it seriously as an actual addiction and what it can actually do to you physically and mentally, I know I’m a hell of a lot unhealthier than I used to be and my asthma has gotten worse, yes I smoked weed even though I have asthma what can I say I’m stupid. And mentally I’m still pretty smart but sometimes I just have these moments where I’m like what the fuck am I doing? Like I just forget it’s really fucking weird, my asthmas began to get less severe recently and I’ve stopped having those weird moments thank god but I’m just concerned for my friends and I don’t think I can do shit to get them to stop abusing it so heavily.
Anyway I’ve ranted on to long, thanks for reading.
I am sober for a long time now but I feel so empty. There is nothing that makes fun or does me good - I have been suffering from major clinical therapy resistant depression for six years now. I took medicine which did help me, stimulants and Benzodiazepines which are both very addictive. I’d love to take them again since I can’t live a life like this. They made my life much more worth living.
I don’t know if I should go to the doctor next week and get my shit together. It feels like a relapse for me..