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So yesterday I had a long shift at work and I hadn't eaten in probably 5-6 hours. I work in an ice cream shop, so as you can imagine it gets busy everyday with children and their families, especially now in the summer. Being around kids all day is constant ERP.

Anyways, I was getting to that point yesterday where I wanted to be literally anywhere than work. I was having hunger pains and we had a line out the door, so it was go go go time. I was getting extremely hangry too. I served this little girl and her family their desserts and was back to scooping. Not 3 minutes later does she come back because she dropped it on the ground.

I plastered on my customer service smile and voice and remade it for her. Looking at her I felt nothing but annoyance, and I thought to myself "I cant believe your OCD convinces you you're attracted to them".

I dunno, it felt nice to look at one of the things I've been afraid of for so long and only feel irritation.

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Today I’ve been really worried about being psychotic, but those fears are slowly going now. However now that I’m not worrying and panicking about them, I feel like I can’t think clearly and I’ve got brain fog. It’s like I’ll be thinking a sentence in my head, but I’ll keep getting words wrong or not being able to think clearly. I also keep rewinding what I’m watching just to make sure I’ve heard it correctly, it’s like I just can’t seem to fully focus. Does anyone else get this? It feels weird, like somethings off but I just don’t know what

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Ive noticed recently that when i talk to people im constantly repeating in my head that whatever semi personal thing ive said to this person it will 100% bite me back. Its become over whelming recently where im counting all the people who can come back and tell my parents terrible things and it puts me in this intense loop where i cant tell anybody anything about myself. For if i do i go into this state of despair where im convincing myself i'll be disowned any moment, if someone close to me acts off im convinced they've learned something terrible about me that i cant remember, someone must have come out the woodworks and have told them.Ugh, sorry about this tangent, i just want to know im not alone in this.

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Before I make a decision or carry out the simplest task (i.e text a friend ig), my mind has to go over the possible outcomes and the perfect way to do/say it and how they may react. So I'm careful of the way I say things and how I carry them out. It's very annoying to me because sometimes the outcomes I believe might happen do. So then I feel accomplished for being prepared. I'm not so sure if this is an anxiety or OCD thing, maybe both. I'm not really sure why I'm posting this but I wanted to just say it.

Like the other day, I had made prior plans with my bestfriend to go somewhere the following week. While we were hanging out with a friend it got brought up and I felt really bad because I didnt purposely not invite this friend or leave them out. So I told her that the three of us could go a separate time. Now, before all of this occurred I had already thought about us three going a separate time because I had anxiety that somehow it would get brought up at some point and make this friend feel bad. So I had already planned in my head to go with my bestfriend THEN a separate time, to the place, with the 3 of us.

Or maybe how I text someone I havnt talked to in awhile and how they may perceive it. Like if theyll think I'm just bored so that's why I'm texting them or if it's weird for me to do it. When all I want to do is have a conversation with them bc I enjoy talking to them and that's it.

I dont really know but it's okay I guess.

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i feel like im letting my mind controlling me. some days ocd are worst than others, but i ocd about almost everything “did i leave this open? did i didn’t turned the lights on or off the correct way?” sometimes i say i won’t go into ocd when doing certain stuff, but i get nervous and anxious and end up doing it. right now im in therapy but everytime we focus on one others might get worst, o and i can sometimes feel like i can handle to calm or stop old ones but my mind is like “remember you’re focusing on this one and not that” and i listen -.-

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Is anyone else OCD worse at home? Or around things you're comfortable with? I definitely notice it everywhere but at home, it's 100% worse.

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Breathe in all the pain of all OCD sufferers and let out relaxation, security and everything you wish for an OCD sufferer. Know that you are capable of feeling good and that you are just one out of millions of OCD sufferers around the world hence you are not alone!

(Read Pema Chodron and practice Tonglen from Tibetian Buddhism )

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I’m pretty good generally but still often have to check the locks 5-6 times. I really don’t know if it’s ocd or stress or simply second guessing my own forgetfulness.

When I saw a specialist they seemed to think that OCD would be more like “I have to check the locks 7 times and then touch my nose otherwise I genuinely and literally believe something bad will happen”.

The lock checking doesn’t really bother me, it’s more the intrusive thoughts and things like stepping on lines (as a grown man no less) that hurt inside. But what threw me is something bad will happen if I don’t do weird thing since I’m actually fully aware my things are ridiculous and I know nothing “bad” will happen if I don’t wash my hands again. I’m just painfully aware that I touched something and so I need to wash them.

submitted by /u/IncorrectExpression
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