25 year old here. I want to know if anyone else shares my problems with friendships. Or if anyone has had any success changing these problems. Comment your age too, just to satisfy my curiosity, if you'd like.
Have trouble in groups because I'm a different person to different people. I have a weak (if any) sense of self and it changes to accommodate the person I'm with.
Can't form deep relationships because I fear / avoid / don't know how to navigate my own emotions (because they're all negative).
Can't truly connect because my persona is far more important than who i really am. I don't know another way to experience myself.
Can't relax because impression management is draining. Especially when you don't feel grandiose.
Can't empathize because I'm only interested in things that have to do with me.
Last but not least, I have buried hostility towards everyone. Jealousy and a win/lose mentality drive my thoughts and behaviors.
Please let me know if any of you have found meaning in relationships. Have you tried sharing your narcissistic side with others? Have you kept it at bay? How do you get along in the world? Is an authentic life possible?
I'm trying to find a way out of this hell hole. I'd like to not spend the rest of my life alone. Thanks.
Why do people diagnosed with BPD get more compassion than ones with NPD. Why is there hope for BPD while only hopelessness for NPD. Why are people open to accept BPD, but barricade themselves at the sight of NPD. Why can people with BPD able to recover and can get better while people with NPD can ‘never change’ and should never be helped. Why is it that "empaths" accept BPD but want nothing to do with NPD. Why can people call themselves empaths if they can only pick and choose for what they have compassion for. Why do people with NPD themselves are against other people with NPD. I search for reasons to improve myself, but can’t find anything. " How to heal from a narc, How to run away from a narc, Is your SO a narc ? Signs that they are a narc and you need to get tf out of there right away". Not a single soul wants to help people get better but they themselves are the complete victim ? No one wants to bring any solution to the problem, but shun others when they haven’t found the answer themselves ? There are 2k people in this group. There are 28k people in the Surviving Narcissists. There are 404K in that OTHER group about loved ones of NPD who have suffered. 404K!!!!!! No one has any advice ? Any positive thing to say but complain ? I found a YouTube channel of this girl who has NPD and all her videos are about how to avoid people like her ? I saw a video of a psychologist who focuses on narcissism and all she said was they should either date each other or date robots and anyone who dates them should run away and that they should NEVER have children ? Does anyone has any actual ADVICE for people with NPD to get better ? Or are people with NPD everyone’s scapegoat. All complaints but not a single ounce of help BUT they STILL want us to be nicer ? " Empaths" want to get compassion without giving any of it. And we’re the one who are completely entitled. Trying to make sense out of this is gross. Anyone EVER got better ? Empathy can be learned. It can. No one has ANY advice on how to get better except tell people with NPD to basically go kill themselves since they OBVIOUSLY don’t have a place on this planet. Anything ????
I'm 17 years old and I feel like I might be suffering from NPD. I read this article and I feel it describes me to a T. Mostly in how I have delusions of grandeur intertwined with self-hatred, how I hide my mistakes from others, how I often feel entitlement when none is warranted, how I keep absconding from responsibility and instead take refuge in own fictitious realities, ect. I can relate to it more than any other text I've read (since I was young I've always had antisocial tendencies). The question now is, how can I break it to my current therapist? How can I even find therapists specialized in this? If I tell my family I'm a narcissist, they'll think I'm just going through a phase (even though I've been unhappy all my life and I've always been obsessed with image despite my Asperger's diagnosis). It doesn't help that my mom might be a narcissist too (my older brother's kinda taken to psychoanalyzing her, and it appear her treatment of us is a bit unusual). Not to give any excuses whatsoever but my inability to be honest might come from the fact that whenever I threw a tantrum at school she would scream at me and, rarely, hit me. I instinctively think she's always gonna hit me though it hasn't happened in the better part of a decade. The school staff also fed me with delusions about being great or whatever (since my grades were stellar, though not indicative of my real intelligence at all, which is nebulous and unquantifiable imo) so maybe that bled into my thought process too.
I just feel like I'm playing an actor all the time. Time to be sad, I feel sad. Time to be angry, I feel angry. And so on and so forth, mostly to reflect the company I'm in. I would laugh at jokes I didn't understand if everyone else was laughing. I can't pinpoint my true self from this fiction, but I presume that the true "self" doesn't really exist and for one reason or another (up until now) I've been precluded from really forming one.
This is getting long so I'll wrap it up. I don't know where to find help near me, and I need it.
NPD is a longstanding pattern of behaviour that causes you and others distress, it is literally a mental disorder.
What i gather from these posts are behaviours that are very introspective and very focused on bettering themselves, the social cues on the other hand are missing, this gives me the conclusion that most here have Aspergers Syndrome or Borderline personality disorder. This pathology and distress seems to be pointed at one life factor or person who hurt you, this is what experts on the matter like Richard Grannon like to call ''CPTSD''. You are rebelling against this one figure, this is not you.
I haven't been diagnosed but the chance i am more of a narc than you is that i enjoy my sadism, gaslighting, Power, Admiration, Success, I have the Eliott Rodger personality, i know people wanna help but i look at you and them with disdain. Even though i have all these traits maybe worse than you, does not mean i have NPD, you can have almost all NPD traits or schemas but not be a clinical Narc, you may score high on the NPI 25+ or high on the dark triad but this is not necessarily a personality disorder. A Personality Disordered person is not focused on the betterment of themselves, only on some days where you get a glimpse of introspection before it goes away.
I sometimes feel sad why i am like this before the ego comes knocking with a distorted view and causes me a narcissistic injury, i have a mask but i am not and never will be a pussy Covert narc, i am grandiose but i am still capable of empathy, compassion, social jokes, etc. But my pathology is disturbing because i enjoy it and i fail to see how it effects me, this sub seems to focused on narcissistic supply that you will literally pretend to be so introspective to get some of that ''supply''. Maybe a few are clinical here but most only have NPD traits with another Personality or mental disorder.
NPD is RARE! you likely are not a Narcissist.
I on the other hand cause drama everywhere i go because i love it, i have no regard for human society and people, everybody disgusts me, my severe misanthropy is extremely egosyntonic, i am a Malignant grandiose Narcissist but it does not mean i suffer NPD. I can do what i want when i want, i think most of you plastic narcs fail to realise this because you're so empathetic on bettering you, that is not NPD, that is a Superiority complex with low self esteem and likely BPD
Do you guys have a complex relationship with food? I don't just mean in the eating disorder way. I mean the difference between:
-Food that tastes good (whether gormet or common)
-Food that is expensive/rare (whether disgusting or delicious)
-Food that is "special" (rare food which it takes a special pallet to appreciate)
I think that my narcissism certainly "leaks" into my eating habits. It's like I feel that I have a special appreciation for food, and I know which food is good, and if that food takes a special pallet to appreciate then well.. I bet I have the ability to appreciate that acquired taste.
It also leaks into my taste for cinema, music, and clothing.
Maybe I will read that a certain movie has artistic merit. I consider myself to be special and able to tune into these things. So I watch the movie very closely, and I 'figure out' what the secret message is. Maybe I am even pretty good at it.
I feel kind of bad for going semi-no-contact with my mom for feeding me to the wolves (my n-dad), and never doing enough to help me out of the situation. There’s a lot of resentment there.
Have you guys been able to move past it all with forgiveness or some other method? Every time I think about all the shit I’m not responsible for, but am still paying the price for, it drives me deeper into this hatred/resentment hole. Is there any hope for recovering a parental relationship?
For me, crushing those who did me wrong is the ultimate payback, but I’m not sure I want to feel regret once my mom passes eventually.
Had a moment of clarity while high, and realized I’ve been playing the victim card all my life. I’m just a thing that exists and stuff happens to me that I think I have no control over. It’s ‘easier’ to say such and such happened, and that’s why I am the way I am, and life sucks and people suck, and I suck. Taking responsibility for my own demise is tough. Poor me. Pour me another drink. Call the waaaaaambulance. I’ve always been a whiner. Pathetic.
At what point should I stop feeling sorry for myself and actually do something about it. But wait! I can’t do anything. This is who I am. People don’t really change. And what is that something I should do? Practice mindfulness? Hah. It’s easier to woe is me, life is unfair, I can’t change because my brain sucks. I seriously just give up.
Holding myself accountable for how I turned out is like, way too much to handle.
I am suffering, we all are, but at what point do we stop attributing it to some chemical imbalance, or whatever it may be, and actually take control.