Hey all, i will try to keep my story short. In September i was in the overweight category. After being dumped by my girlfriend i decided to start losing weight. I went on a crazy restrictive diet where i would do multiple day fasts and very low calories for my age/height. I never got underweight but got very skinny. I decided to stop losing weight but discovered how really obsessed i got with food and calories. I'm constantly obsessing about food and eat the same thing day in day out. I had my blood checked and i have mild anemia and very very low testosterone. I planned my meals out a week in advance and skipped classes just so i could buy my foods. I'm constantly hearing fitness related videos in my head. I have been trying to recover by myself but struggling big time. I met with a psychiatrist who just gave me an SSRI. I don't know how to get better. I'm extremely isolated, tired and depressed. I have to consume ridiculous amounts of caffeine to just be motivated to do anything. At my worst i constantly had these distorted thoughts like ''you will be never able to eat out again'' or if i saw people drinking alcohol or other caloric beverages i told myself '' i'll never drink my calories''. I discussed this with my doctor and he suggested me to be impatient in a Psychiatric Center. I declined because i fear i wont have my food with me. I'm constantly body checking myself and comparing myself to other males. How do i get better? This has destroyed my life. Thanks
I'm a 20 year old male in Hawaii and the past couple of months, I've been struggling with anorexia. In retrospect, I've experienced disordered thinking surrounding food; I'm naturally a short and skinny person and I always felt like that was something special about me that I needed to maintain. As young as 9 years old, I can remember running laps around the house because I wanted to lose weight after seeing commercials for weight loss programs.
This past year has been one of the most stressful in my life for a number of reasons and during second semester, I fell right into anorexia. It sort of came out of nowhere but all of the sudden, I had all the telltale symptoms, restricting calories, obsessive thoughts, no energy, feeling cold etc. In March, I dropped 5 pounds, then 9 in April. Luckily I caught it early on and told a few friends both at school and at home, got some support and was able to sort of recover (though I never told my family).
Things were fine for the first couple of weeks; my parents are very nutritious eaters so I was able to establish a healthy diet and enjoy some unhealthy food every few days while we were on vacation in Mexico. Lately, though, I have started to fall back into some old behaviors.
Because I've been eating nutritiously (fruit, salmon, quinoa, vegetables, nuts, beans etc) I thought I could handle counting calories but now I find myself researching the calorie count of every food I eat, trying to measure the amounts exactly and intentionally overestimating my calorie intake. At my job as a lifeguard, I walk laps around the pool constantly, guzzle water to suppress my appetite and when I sit, I constantly fidget just to burn as many calories as possible. I've also found myself reading and watching a lot about obese people, which is something I used to do to scare myself into undereating. I haven't skipped a meal in almost two months but there have been several times that I had to convince myself not to. Now I'm finding it harder to enjoy the occasional unhealthy meal.
At present, my calorie intake is lower than it should be, but not dangerously low and I really don't want to go back to starving myself but I feel like my disorder is just simmering right now, ready to comeback at any moment. Has anybody here ever experienced this? What should I do?
I apologize first if this isn't the correct area to post. I just needed some opinions and advice from people that aren't bias and don't know me.
I've struggled for years with my weight and eating. I've ballooned to big sizes and dropped large amounts of weight several times due to health problems. I'm trying my best to maintain a healthy diet and eat regularly. A lot of people have been coming to me recently saying that they feel like I shouldn't lose anymore weight and are worried about my eating habits.
I still see myself as probably bigger than I am and still don't feel comfortable with my body. I have started to find myself starting to skip days eating and then binging on others and I feel bad at myself whatever I end up doing. With past experiences of people using my weight and eating issues against me, I pretty much feel paranoid and don't know whether to believe friends, if their "concern" is just trying to make me feel better or if they're telling the truth.
Basically I just wondered if I could get any advice and maybe opinions on things that could help. I will include pictures if that is allowed.
idk if this is appropriate for this sub but i’m in need for help. my girlfriend had a pass with ED when she was really young. she was like 8 i believe. her parents knew about her ED but obviously got into it and started watching her. she gained a lot of weight after a break up before me and she would obviously be depressed about it. i’d tell her she’s beautiful and offer myself to exercise with her. she agreed. so she was working out for like a week and yesterday we went out and she seemed very tired and sleepy. she said she felt like collapsing. i then asked her if she ate and she lied to me and said yes. then she started crying and saying sorry because she didn’t eat. i took her home and we ate. everything was fine until this morning. she told me she made herself throw up and she’s saying that i don’t understand. please help
So I have an eating disorder. I can’t say I had, because I feel like I still have it and I don’t know where to put it in my life or what to do with it ... in less than 3 weeks, on meds because I was dangerously underweight I gained a lot weight. I feel hungry many times throughout a day and sometimes I feel like I can’t stop thinking about foods. I know it’s a good thing that I recovered and started to gain weight after my doctor put me in hospital on IV and I got home treatment too and pills. At first I felt happy and fine about it but nowadays I started to feel and fear that I’ll become overweight and unhealthy and I just feel like I want to stop eating and try to eat less. I don’t really know if any of you felt this way after recovery and how you all was able to fight this feeling. Maybe you all can give me some advice about it.
This may be a confusing question but I’ll try to word it as best I can. So I’m 22 and I’ve always had issues with eating. When I think of my ED, I remember it starting at age 15. But as a child I ate a lot more than other kids around me and I started gaining a lot of weight when I was around 9. Would that be considered having an eating disorder? Like does that mean I’ve had an ED since I was 9? Sorry if that doesn’t make sense!
I had anorexia as a teenager, and I’ve been mostly recovered for the last ten or so years. I recently lost some weight because of another medical condition, though, and it’s like something switched in my brain. I started seeing a dietitian to try to gain the weight back, and while I’m motivated, I can’t seem to do it. In fact, I’ve lost more since I started to see her, and I’ve begun overexercising and have been cutting my intake.
The dietitian said that if I can’t do this alone, I’ll need to go to a day hospital or inpatient program, but that seems extreme to me. I’m only a little underweight—in my head, I’m not “bad” enough for that. I really want to avoid it. At the same time, I just can’t get myself to stop this downward slide, and it’s scaring me.
Has anyone gone through something similar? Any advice?
I’ve started binge-eating take-out delivery food as a maladaptive coping strategy since several failed suicide attempts in 2015. I never had any sort of eating disorder before (diagnosed or otherwise), but in the 3 years since then I’ve gradually found it a quick and easy to whip out my iPhone and have hot and tasty junk food delivered to my doorstep in less than an hour.
I typically spend £20+ every time ordering take-out delivery food from my phone. It can happen up to 5 nights a week, and every time I’ll order enough to feed 4 or 5 people then just eat until I can’t got anymore inside me. I’ll just gorge myself on pizza, Chinese, ice cream, cheesecake, apple pie, Indian and kebabs, drinking 2L bottles of Coca Cola/Fanta/Dr Pepper until I’m sufficiently distracted from my mental pain. I’ll feel sick but I don’t purge.
Even if I have perfectly good food alternatives in the fridge (eggs, bread, beans, salad, frozen fish & veg etc) I find myself self-abusing/self-sabotaging and getting intense cravings for the sugar/fat/salt hit I can only get from the junk-food.
I have literally spent thousands of pounds (£GBP) since 2015, most going to Just Eat and Dominos Pizza.
Obviously I’ve gained a huge amount of weight and the addiction has gotten so bad I’ve blown through my long term savings, and now I can easily blitz through my weekly income and any potential savings most weeks to satisfy the urge to emotionally eat.
Over the years I’ve repeatedly deleted the apps from my phone. I’ve had my mother reset my account passwords to lock me out of the services but I’ve always ended up creating new accounts with a different email addresses a few weeks later. The longest I’ve gone without was a few months.
I need to know if there’s a way I can block myself from re-downloading these apps to my iOS device, whilst remaining the admin on my own device? Like a selective block on just those apps? iPhone Restrictions/Parental Controls don’t appear to cater to addicts this way.
I just can’t stop myself from using them to binge eat and I’m miserable, I need my smart phone but I also need a way to functionally stop myself being able to install these food apps to my device.
Has anyone else faced this issue and knows of any solutions or has practical advice?
So I've struggled with disordered eating since I was 8 (I'm now 18) but never considered it a proper disorder, because I was overweight/slightly obese and was trying to lose weight. Now I know I have EDNOS and I'm trying hard to fight it. I spent the first years binging/restricting, then two years with purging disorder, then stuck again in the b/p/r cycle, and now I'm currently in the restricting "phase". I lost a lot of weight, and generally I don't regain in that quickly, but I'm so scared and anxious anyway.
This disorder made me a perfectionist, to the point of having breakdowns and sleepless nights if I don't get the higher grade and slip a bit from my usual weight.
No one knows about it, except for my best friend and my boyfriend, but even they don't know everything about it and just assume that, because now I'm in the healthy BMI range and try to be as happy as possible when eating with friends, I'm totally fine and have no problem.
How can I tell my family, friends and my boyfriend about it, without them being jerks and not believing me like it happened before?
I had anorexia for 3-4 years. I gained weight after and so assumed I had recovered though I was never okay and thought it’s because recovery takes time. I’m speculating this is when bulimia started. I go to my dream school and thought i would be happy there since i had worked crazy hard to get there. I left home for freshman year of college and didn’t know exactly why I had a terrible time every time i was alone - my BMI was in the normal range, so i assumed it isn’t anorexia but didn’t consider bulimia. I also have a bit of OCPD, had a love/toxic relationship addiction phase, am a workaholic and have anxiety (root of my ED(s)). The workaholism and ED caused me to use modafinil far too much for my own good. I still use it sometimes after eating a bit more than I’d like the day before and it’s begun to really affect my anxiety and cause auditory hallucinations.
I came back from college and finally went to a psychiatrist. I have been working far too much and was asked to ease that up a little. I got prescribed Zoloft 50mg and am on my tenth day. Heard it sometimes causes weight gain on the internet so stopped eating as much as I used to (sometimes still using modafinil to aid with this). Also heard it may suppress appetite and well clearly that’s happening either due to mod or due to both.
Technically, I’m still eating once every two hours as my psychiatrist suggested though this means a fruit or a cookie. Yesterday I ate a bit of rice so I popped a modafinil today. Not hungry at all and liking my body a little. My psychiatrist and I talked about everything but mod. He has no idea I still use modafinil or have access to it currently and I don’t feel I will ever feel ready to tell him about my last weapon; it makes me thin and makes me smart and it’s just perfect...but it’s also killing me. I don’t know what to do.