i don't know what to title this honestly so apologies in advance for that. also sorry that this is like my second post of the night but im all over this sub and have a thought/question.
i was adopted when i was a year old. as for the racial DNA breakdown, i am half mexican and half white (DNA tests in general irk me but that is a separate issue). however, i look white. i was adopted by a white mom and indigenous dad (i don't like using the term native american, but if you don't get it that's what we are.)
i've been really appreciating people talk about their experience being a transracial adoptee and was wondering if anyone on this sub can relate to being adopted by a parent who is much darker than you. i know this has caused so many strange and annoying experiences in my life. if me and my dad are out and about alone and he reveals that i'm his daughter i always get that strange look. like i know they're thinking "you're definitely way lighter than him... how is this possible?" i also have so many people assuming that he's my grandfather or just some person not related to me at all. which super sucks.
i also always felt this horrific obligation that when i show someone a picture of my dad i have to tell them "oh i'm adopted" so they'll understand why i don't look like him or that i'm not brown. it is by all means a privilege for me to be white. but all of this is just constant reminders of my adoption, which is a whole chaotic traumatic thing for me anyways. kinda just hoping someone can relate and share their experience with me!
i posted a week or two ago i was thinking about looking for my bio dad. everything happened so damn fast but as of yesterday i met him and his family. they are all from mexico but live near me.
was absolutely incredible! had an amazing time. but i dont speak ANY spanish! like 75% of the conversations were all in spanish, with some people translating for me. i have some spanish learning to do now.
I was adopted when I was one to Canada and my life has been great and everything. I am now 20 and the only thing is that the more I learn about my culture and how much I love the food, the more I’m starting to feel resentful about how I was grown up. My adopted mom didn’t like the food so she never cared about making it and we live in a small town and I hate it and there’s barely any multiculturalism but there work and everything is here which I understand and I’m grateful for everything they’ve given me and everything. There is a university and she tried to take me to mandarin lessons but it was cancelled. I know she tried. But I feel like I’m going crazy because the more I know the more I feel like I’ve missed out on. I wish I could’ve grown up in the city with many cultures and my food accessible anywhere or she would’ve at least tried to cook my food. And I’m trying not to just complain because I know my life is amazing but I just wish she would recognize it’s about my culture and she just gets offended even tho I do tend to over explain but I feel like I’m going crazy.
I realize 4 days is like a year in Reddit time, but I would like to apologize to the community for my post ( since deleted) I made Wednesday.
I was in a blind rage at the time and I didn’t realize that the way I was communicating would be so hurtful to some users. I have personally messaged a few but would like to just formally apologize here.
I am working with a therapist to learn how to manage my emotions and communicate in a way that is constructive.
I'm 33. My adoptive mother has always been in the realm of "If you need to ever find your birth mother go for it and I'll hold no grudge" kinda thing, bit nonchalant. However, the other day she dropped "you should seek your birth mother out and thank her for giving you life" I've pretty much been a drunken nightmare since. What the fuck do I do with this?
Edit: she would be about 19 or 20 now so she’s not a minor or anything.
I was adopted at 8 years old. I recently saw a post of a woman, around 40 years old, trying to find her biological sister who was adopted by someone else. This got me to thinking, that I would also like to find my biological sister. But what little info I have of her is useless. If anyone has any connections within the foster care or adoptive system of SoCal that would be willing to help, I would really appreciate it. And if you don’t, maybe you could just share this and maybe someone will see it. I don’t have high hopes but I figured I’d ask. Thanks.
Found out I'm pregnant with my boyfriend's baby on Wednesday when I was at the hospital for unrelated testing. I haven't told him yet - I'm waiting to do so in person. 20 years old, in college, working part time. He's 23, working full time, and working on his certificate for his desired field. Two options come to mind - abortion or adoption. Controversies aside, I don't condone abortion, which is why I'm leaning towards adoption. My mom said that no matter what I choose it'll always be in the back of my mind that I gave a baby, my baby up for adoption, or that I got an abortion. At the end of the day I need to be able to live with the decision I made. Can anyone give any advice on whether or not you regretted giving your baby or child up for adoption? I don't know who to talk to about this -
It's a long story, but I'll try to be as brief as possible. My oldest sister was born in 1981 and raised by our biological parents. I came along a year and a day later in 1982, and was adopted out at birth, privately I believe, through a family lawyer. At least two more sisters and one more brother were adopted out through the same lawyer. We've all since found each other as well as our biological parents, who are still married, BUT, our mother has said she believes there is another brother still out there somewhere.
We were reunited through requesting our original birth certificates, at which time we received notification from the state that another biological sibling had requested their certificate as well. Some internet searching and forum posts led us to each other.
Given that all of us were adopted through the same lawyer and grew up in IL (I even attended the same church as my brother growing up), we believe the unknown brother to have been adopted through the same lawyer, and that he likely grew up near Chicago in the suburbs as well.
We have all tried to get some answers from the lawyer, who was a family friend to my family, but she will not answer emails or return calls. We feel that our adoptions may have been somewhat shady on her end.
Since it appears the adoptions were handled privately, it seems as though the courts and agencies in IL that help reunite siblings aren't any help.
Does anyone have any suggestions to help us? I have taken a 23andme DNA test, and my older sister has taken an Ancestry.com DNA test hoping that some day a match may pop up, but we'd love to find the outstanding brother sooner than later.