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Adoption | Reddit by /u/carbondemontizide - 14h ago

Before I was one I was taken away from them and put into foster care, my foster parents adopted me. I've only known my real parents for 6 months plus court time. I don't know those people. My sister wanted to marry a boy my parents didn't like, so she met up with our real parents, they blessed her,completely betraying our TRUE parents. Now I live 60 miles away from where my sisters parents live, they know where I live. They clearly hate our my parents. And they are younger so they'll outlive my parents anyway. I'm scared what they'll do based on what their facebook says. They know where I live and have my sister. I'm scared. Idk what to do.

Im 300 miles away from my TRUE parents

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Hi, hopefully this is the right place to post this as we could do with a little perspective.

My husband (31M) is adopted and recently reached out to his birth mother just last week. He originally sent a letter with an email address that she could follow up with.

4 days later he received an email. A two sentences long email. Whilst it seemed a positive response the briefness of the email threw us. No questions, no invitation to write back. Just a confirmation and a thank you.

No problem, perhaps she’s nervous. Husband reached out again with an email explaining his reasons for reaching out and asking if birth mother would be interested in corresponding via email and letting him know a bit about his medical history.

3 days later, another response. Again, two sentences. No information, no answer to the questions husband raised, although this time she did ask if he had a happy childhood.

I guess we’re just confused about the intent here. No response, he could understand. An overwhelmingly positive and heartfelt response he could understand. But two sentences each time days apart is very confusing.

Perhaps he’s expecting too much too soon, or perhaps she just isn’t interested?

submitted by /u/Failure_By_Design_
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I know this is probably not the right place to ask This, but my partner and I were hoping to look into adopting in the next couple of years and you bet your ass it's something I'm too scared to ask an agency or lawyer for fear of it hurting our chance.

My partner's father was convicted 15 years ago on child pornography charges. The circumstances regarding his family were pretty unbelievable to me - parents acted like CPS were more of a burden while they made sure the kids were okay! My partner was quite young at the time and didn't question anything too much - basically was raised to just ignore the issue.

When I found out I was repulsed. Not only at the act but at his mother's reaction. I have no relationship with this man, and nor does my partner outside of casual interaction from his mother. We also live overseas (14h flight) from them.

The issue is - I'm scared this is going to hurt our chances. I know this sub isn't necessarily lawyers, but from people who've been through it - did they check much into your family?

For clarity - my bio, and hopefully adopted children, will have no relationship with nor ever meet this man.

submitted by /u/ladylockk
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I’m applying for a passport and the court court where my adoption was placed has no record of my files to Petition to unseal. It 100% was filed there, I remember it vividly, but they insist there is no record under the name/year range I provided.

It’s of vital importance I locate these to unseal. I have an official copy of my long form BC that shows where my adoptive mother lived and when that was issued, it proves that it happened in that county at that time under my name.

What are my options? Clearly this county office has no clue how to assist because I’ve called all over and keep running into dead ends..?

submitted by /u/nidenikolev
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Adoption | Reddit by /u/mmrdww - 14h ago

Hi everyone, so a while back I posted about being conflicted on giving my baby up for adoption.

Well, my mother & baby’s father chose the family for me because I ended up with preeclampsia & was bed ridden.

I had an emergency c section & she was born a few weeks early. So she spent time in the nicu.

We chose an open adoption, which is great because the adoptive mother allows me to text her to get updates and photos of her whenever I please. We’re allowed 2 visits a year.

It made me cry at how happy I made this couple to add another adoptive baby to their family. It’s such a beautiful thing!

Is it bad that I hope my child looks for me when she turns 18?

submitted by /u/mmrdww
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Adoption | Reddit by /u/_t_h_r_o_w-away_ - 14h ago

My husband and I are looking to adopt and have been looking into agencies. It seems that most agencies want you to self-promote in addition to their showing your profile to biological mothers. If you find a birth mother on your own, they charge you any way. They charge for visitation supervision (not sure if required in VA) for the next 18 years. They charge for using their subpar video profile services. They charge for putting your profile on websites.

Is it worth going through an agency or is this something someone can do on their own with a lawyer?

The Nickel and dime aspect of the agency is turning me off. So is the added requirements (yearly visits to the birth mother cross states, using their video service, required classes).

Can you have a successful adoption without using an agency?

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My biological mother and I have had a strange relationship. We've been in contact for 11 years, met in person 7 years ago, and we have visited each other 5 times in those 7 years (we live 1000 miles apart). She came for my high school graduation, I went down 3 times for various visits, and she just came up for my wedding. When we're together in person it's always been good. However, when we're apart it's terrible. Little to no communication, to the point where one time I sent her a very long message basically saying "I'm going through a lot right now and if you could call me that'd be great" and never got a response. I assumed maybe I had an old phone number, and then months later I got a text from her that just said Happy Easter.

Anyway, I got married on Saturday. I invited her up for the wedding, and all my siblings. She came, helped set up and tear down. During the wedding, her and her husband offered to pay for the catering. After a lot of talking, I agreed, and later told my husband we would wait and see and to not get our hopes up.

She has called or texted me every day since the wedding. This is the most contact I've ever had with her. She called me yesterday to tell me a cashier's check was in the mail. It's not about the money, I really don't care about that, but I feel like she's finally allowing herself to have a relationship with me. I'm enjoying it while it's happening!

Mother, if you're on reddit and I don't know it, hello and I'm so happy we are talking so much.

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I’m thinking of China, for example. They are known to take children (like Uyghur) away from loving families for no reason for their own personal agenda. And I’ve been told that usually if prospective adoptive parents ask too many questions regarding the background of some children or how and why they ended up in the orphanage they are blocked from adopting. China is China, so it’s very hard (and dangerous) to go against the government. Is there anything that can be done regarding this?

I understand it’s a very sensitive subject but I think it needs to be discussed.

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Adoption | Reddit by /u/dollhiaxrose12 - 18h ago

Hello, I'm looking into adopting. My husband supports my decision to adopt instead of becoming pregnant myself. I've been really looking into it but am being over whelmed with all the information. Does anyone have any advice? We are interested in adopting up to a 3 year old. I've tried to find information on the process, bit also on what the experience of starting off with a toddler rather than a baby is like. If anyone had any helpful information or anything you think I should know please help me.

submitted by /u/DollhiaxRose12
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