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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 013

In this episode, I talk about being a single mom who feels unable to take a breath and just focus on yourself. You are still a person. You are still a woman. I also dig in about your right as a mother, even a single mom, deserves to celebrate and be celebrated like married mothers.

Way too often single moms get caught in their everyday routine of raising the kids and going to work, you forget something that's important too. In this episode, you’ll find out why it’s important to establish an identity for yourself outside of being a single mom and how.

SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES SUBSCRIBE ON GOOGLE MUSIC Mother’s day for single moms

Mother’s day for single mom can be a bit sad depending on circumstances. And if you have no people in your circle you may never receive recognition for all your efforts. Especially if your co-parenting is less than stellar.

Around this time you'll hear the Mother's Day isn't for single moms. Believe it or not, you deserve to be celebrated as much as a married mom. Consider all the lessons you've taught your children. Nights putting together school projects or helping out with homework with the material you've long forgotten. Consider all the days you've had to call into work to take a sick day and take care of your little ones.

Have you lost yourself to single motherhood?

You are still a person. You are still a woman, though not the woman you were before you had children. No, that woman has grown and has been shaped by the reality of her life. Now let's take that new found wisdom and discover how to NOT lose yourself in single motherhood. Because your identity is not just mom or even a single mom.

Link to video mentioned.

HIGHLIGHTS
  • Hear why you deserve to celebrate Mother’s Day regardless of your single mom status.

  • Understand why it’s important to not lose your identity beyond being a mother.

  • Get tips on how not to lose your self in single motherhood.

Hey there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood.

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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 012

So today's topic on the RSM podcast is all about being okay to love being a single mom. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying accepting the bad that comes with your situation, like dealing with a deadbeat dad, financial woes, or co-parenting fails for an example.

SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES SUBSCRIBE ON GOOGLE MUSIC Being Okay With Single Motherhood

From the day you entered single motherhood, the odds are against you. Why? Because you need help? Because single moms are viewed as promiscuous? Or irresponsible? I definitely know that acceptance is a hard thing to do, but not impossible. Over time as you learn, grown, struggle, and thrive you'll start to see an upside to this new life of yours and that's completely okay.

Practicing Self-Care is Very Important

So if you are a mom who is struggling with the everyday overwhelm, then it's especially important for you to practice self-care. Once becoming a mom, you probably stopped paying attention to what you need because your children's needs always came first. And in doing so you lost sight of yourself.

Try to remember that even the most devoted single moms need to stop and recharge. It doesn't have to be every day but at least one or a few hours once a week should be fine. Leave the guilt!

Acceptance

All parents need extra help. You should feel no shame needing any help whether it's just someone taking the kids for a few hours so you can get some peace or financial. How you choose to live your life is no one's business.

Always do what's in the best interest of you and your child regardless of anyone's opinions. You are the only one who has to live with the choices you make.

HIGHLIGHTS
  • Hear about how it’s okay to hate and love being a single mom.

  • Find out why self-care is important.

  • Understanding importance of acceptance.

Hi there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood.

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Show Notes: Episode 011

In this episode I discuss the difficulties and importance of making choices. I also talk about what to expect during your pregnancy journey as a single mom and how to best prepare for your baby. Making the right choice can be hard. Some choices come easier for some than others. Making the pro-life choice when you know what lies ahead is tough.

When finances are already tight, is abortion really an option and could you really give up your baby? Choices. Making the right one can feel impossible. Especially if the decision you're making in the long run isn't what you truly believe in.

SUBSCRIBE NOW ON ITUNES SUBSCRIBE NOW ON GOOGLE MUSIC Making THEE Choice

Maybe you're someone who just recently found out you are pregnant and you and your boyfriend just broke up because you couldn't agree on the same choice or you broke up later in your pregnancy because maybe he changed his mind about wanting or being ready for a baby.

Making the right choice can be hard. Some choices come easier for some than others. Making the pro-life choice when you know what lies ahead is tough. Finding out you're pregnant and you suddenly have three choices: be a single mom, have an abortion or adoption.

When finances are already tight, is abortion really an option and could you really give up your baby? Choices. Making the right one can feel impossible. Especially if the decision you're making in the long run isn't what you truly believe in.

The Journey Ahead

So if you're a mom who made the choice of keeping your baby regardless of the outcome of your relationship with the father, now it's time to prepare for the journey ahead. You need to understand that you could probably end up going through this alone especially if the father is not 100% on board.

This is something you will need to be prepared for. Do not spend the bulk of your pregnancy trying to bring him on board.

So spend what time you can at the beginning of your pregnancy knocking off tasks to help make sure you're prepared for your baby AND life after baby.

Suffering from Depression

A pregnant woman may not realize that she is suffering from depression. At first, the many other symptoms that are typical of pregnancy may not seem different from depression.

Part of the reason for the lack of treatment is the fact that many obstetricians are not screening for it. On the other hand, this is probably because of hormonal changes during pregnancy.

HIGHLIGHTS
  • Understand the importance of making the choice.

  • Hear about the journey ahead and how to prepare for baby.

  • Learn about how depression affects pregnant women and symptoms to look for.

Hey there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood.

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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 010

In this episode, I talk about whether or not you can or should go without child support. I also discuss why it’s important as a community of single moms to stop making other single moms who can’t go without feel ashamed for her choices.

SUBSCRIBE NOW ON ITUNES SUBSCRIBE NOW ON GOOGLE MUSIC CHILD SUPPORT SHAMING

In the first few minutes of this episode I discuss how the world believes that single moms who receive child support are taking advantage of their exes by filing for child support. Also, the fact that the mom must provide for her child by the means of child support must make her a bitter mom. NOT!

While that may be the case for some, however, not all single moms deserved to be labeled as bitter over a failed relationships just because she's made a choice to file for child support.

SHARING THE FINANCIAL BURDEN

The financial burden should not rest with the mom even if she can manage on her own.  Going without does not make you any more or less of a "real" mother. Trust me, no one truly desires to take care of children alone. You should not feel ashamed or guilty for holding the father accountable for his children.

OTHER METHODS OF CHILD SUPPORT

The end of this episode highlights a different kind of child support. In-kind. In-kind child support is a collaborative arrangement that involve some mixture of cash and in-kind goods and services given directly to the child. This arrangement is preferred by fathers who fear that the mom will spend child support funds on herself rather than the child.

HIGHLIGHTS
  • Hear about how the world believes that single moms who receive child support are taking advantage of their exes by filing for child support.

  • Understand why it’s important to share the financial burden

  • Understanding importance of understanding fathers rationale for in-kind child support

 

Hi there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood.

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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 009

In this episode, I talk about why a fathers role is crucial in the upbringing of a child. I also discuss how to appropriately handle talking to your child about their dad if he is an absent parent.

Children require love and support from both parents, and unfortunately, that's not always the case.  A fathers role is crucial in the upbringing of a child and eliminating the father all together does give children a disadvantage.

SUBSCRIBE NOW ON ITUNES SUBSCRIBE NOW ON GOOGLE MUSIC HOW TO APPROACH THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

In the first few minutes of this episode I talk about how as kids get older they start asking more questions about, “Where is daddy?” or “Why doesn’t he come see us anymore?”. I explain how over time you stop knowing what to tell your child and how it’s best not to lie, but refrain from speaking negatively about their dad.

How to talk about their dad when the kids are around

Having to explain to your child about their absent father can suck and can be really emotional. However, your child may hold on to those words and as they get older may think YOU were the reason they never seen their father.  Also, let him know that he is NOT the reason for their dad not coming around. Right now all they need to know and understand is that they are loved and let them make their own judgement as they get older.

Don’t give him too much power

Don't spend too much time forcing a relationship between your child and their father. If their dad doesn't want to be involved, he won't be. All the effort you are making also paves the way for him to tell everyone else how great of a dad he's being, when in truth it was you who just wanted your child to have a relationship with their dad. Let your child ask could they call him. If he doesn't answer, say "Well daddy didn't answer today” and let him leave a voicemail. 

HIGHLIGHTS
  • Hear about when it’s age appropriate to discuss an absent father

  • Understand why it’s important to not speak negatively about him

 

Hey there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood.

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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 008

In this episodes I talk about being able to balance everything without feeling overwhelmed or overworked. Also why it’s important to make time to accomplish your goals.

Through your struggle to make your life work, you feel isolated, tired, overwhelmed, stressed and when combining those feelings, depressed. You're having a hard time finding the right work-life balance and your whole life just feels like chaos.

SUBSCRIBE NOW ON ITUNES SUBSCRIBE NOW ON GOOGLE MUSIC Good is Enough

Finding balance in your life is important. It's about realizing that sometimes you need to make choices about what needs to come first. By choosing what comes first, means sacrifices. It also means that you don't have to give 100% of yourself 100 percent of the time. And by doing so reduces stress and enhances your well-being.

As a single mom, there will always be times when your personal life collides with work, but knowing what's most important will allow you to balance your decisions better. When your life starts to feel out of control is usually due to your needs not being met.

Peak Performance

Do you ever notice what times of the day you are most productive? Why do you think that is? The first step towards achieving peak performance in your life is about starting with a routine.

Your routine is built around the first and last two hours of your day. These four hours are crucial to your day. If you don't start your day well, your day will go to hell before you even get to work because you will not be in peek state.

You'll want to use those first and last two hours to focus solely on yourself.

Maintaining a Positive Mindset

Having a positive mindset can make the transition into becoming a single mom much easier. Maintaining a positive mindset can make life as a single mom so much better.

A positive outlook on life also strengthens your immune system and the emotional quality of your life experiences, allowing you to be resilient in the face of fear, and challenge.

Setting BIG Dreamy Goals

Your dreams and aspirations do not die suddenly because you're a single mom. If anything now is the time for exploration and self-discovery. It's good to have something that gives your life purpose besides your children.

Don't be afraid to go for something because you think you won't be able to pull the necessary resources to make them happen. Do your research, crunch the numbers, talk to whomever you need to talk to and go for it!

HIGHLIGHTS
  • Hear about how good is good enough

  • Identify peak performance

  • Learn how to maintain a positive mindset

  • Understand why it’s still important to set goals

Hey there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood.

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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 007

In this episode, I discuss some tips to help you know what to do when a deadbeat dad tries to flip the script and claim that you are the reason he his an absent dad. If you are a single mom who has found her self in this situation, listen as I give you some tips taking precautions and remaining unfazed by his slander.

subscribe now on itunes subscribe now on google music The Proof is in the pudding

Keep records of EVERYTHING. Every phone call, every text, email, Facebook or twitter messages and store them somewhere safe. Like your cloud, Google Drive, or Dropbox. Save your screenshots from emails, text or Facebook messages from over the years of you asking him to come see his child.

If you haven't already downloaded the "TapACall" app do that now. There's a free and paid version. Record every call with him, assuming you can get him on the phone, of you trying to make plans for him see your child. 

WHY SHOULD I REMAIN UNFAZED

First off, let me tell you why I'm unbothered by all things concerning my ex. I honestly don't care what my children's father says about me. I know what kind of mother and human I am. So do my nearest and dearest.

You know what kind of mother you are, let your character speak volumes for itself. If the accusation does grind your gears, take the necessary time to be angry, then spend the rest of your days unbothered. 

Hey there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood. I would also love it if you would come hang out with me in my Facebook Group. Can't wait to meet you!

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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 006

In this episode I discuss your value as a single mom and how to not let internet trolls get you down with their negativity.

subscribe on itunes subscribe on google music  Opinionated Internet Trolls

Every single mom has a story and some of us brave enough to open up about our lives on the internet. Some moms share as a way to let go of the past and some with the hope that their story may be another moms story too. Because everyone can not open up about their struggles the same way, it get a bit annoying when you try to send a positive message to help other moms, you get slammed by opinionated internet trolls.

People who feel like unwed single mothers brought their circumstances on themselves for having their children out of wedlock. Majority of the time there opinions are often voiced out of assumption. While their words have no affect on me, I know they may have hurt other moms.

In this episode, I discuss how to not let ignorant people get to you. Just because your situation with your ex changed and left you as a single mom does not make you stupid. This community is full of brave, talented, and smart entrepreneurs. Even some moms are making sure they stick it out it school, even though it’s really hard. You’re doing the damn thing. Remember that their opinions are just that, they are not a validation of your worth/value as a person. And it sure as hell does not make you a shitty mom.

Embracing Single Motherhood

Embrace this life. Decide to be more than a number on a chart that has tried to define you and your child's future.  Every single mother's journey is different. Acceptance is a very powerful tool for happiness. There will always be times of struggle and uncertainty, but you can't let that get in the way of everything else.

If you're not quite there yet, you may think I'm crazy. In the beginning, it's next to impossible to think of single motherhood as an easy or beautiful thing.  Over time as you learn, grown, struggle, and persevere you start to see an upside to this new life of yours. You start to embrace single motherhood.

Highlights
  • Hear about how internet trolls opinions do not validate your worth as a single moms

  • Learn how to start embracing you journey

Hey there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the podcast, I provide powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood. I also want to personally invite you to join my Facebook group. I can't wait to meet you!

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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 005

In this episode, I talk about how it's completely unrealistic for someone to believe that once the mother separates from his or her children's father, that she abstain from sex until her next marriage. She can date, but sex is something that is between man and wife? 

Subscribe on iTunes Now subscribe on google music You are not promiscuous 

We go through a lot already. Some of us are left raising our kids on our own, and the others are left co-parenting with their ex. It's understandable for us to feel lonely and want to seek companionship. Why should we only be "allowed" to stay home with our children? 

It's completely unrealistic for someone to believe that once the mother separates from his or her children's father, that she abstain from sex until her next marriage. She can date, but sex is something that is between man and wife? While that is okay for some women, because that is THEIR choice, many other women will have sex with the man they are currently dating.  In today's world, many millennial's and non-millennial's choose to engage in non-marital sex. For some, it's a choice of preference, others between what is right and wrong. 
 

Dating as a single mom

Being a dating single mom with a sex life does not make you promiscuous.  I really don't understand how people can think this way. As long as you are being safe, and protecting yourself, having sex is perfectly fine. You don't have to become a spinster and wait around for your empty nest just because you have children now.

Society seems very uncomfortable acknowledging the fact that single moms have sex too. That once we become moms, well single moms, we place our vagina under lock and key until our next courtship. Well, little do they know, that sometimes the road to Mr. Right is far and few in between. We are still human. We want and still crave intimacy. 

Our kids safety

For the safety of our kids, we do need to ask ourselves this question. That is if you let Mr. Right Now over while the kids are home and they just happen to see him. Come on let's face it, not every guy you date is Mr. Long Term.

 Highlights
  • Relationships end does that mean your sex life too? [ 1:25 ]

  • Hear about how having non-marital sex does not make you promiscuous [ 2:31 ]

  • Understand the importance of keeping your child safe while dating and why shouldn't meet any short-term guy [ 7:40 ]

  • Find out why it's important to know the difference between Mr. Right Now and Mr. Long-term [ 8:56 ]

download transcript

Hey there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the podcast, I provide powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood. I also want to personally invite you to join my Facebook group. I can't wait to meet you!

Before you go, leave your info!

Sign up to podcast updates and free goodies!

First Name Last Name Email Address Yes, Sign Me Up!

We collect, use, and PROTECT your data in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! Follow my blog with Bloglovin
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SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 004

In today's episode, I talk about the psychological effects of growing up fatherless. Children require love and support from both parents, and unfortunately, that's not always the case. Many single moms struggle with whether or not to keep trying to get absent fathers to play a more active role in their children's lives. For most, it's an obvious choice. While other moms know that their child would benefit from having both parents in their life.

Subscribe on iTunes now subscribe on google music Psychological Damage

Even though we recognize that children do have the right to see their dad, if there is a legitimate safety concern, or he's not that stable, I wouldn't encourage a relationship. Children need stability and they need to be able to rely on their fathers.

At the same time, fatherless children are more susceptible to depression, perform poorly in school, have low self-esteem, prone to aggression, may commit suicide or incarceration. Statistics reveal that girls are more inclined to abuse drugs, while boys become more aggressive.

Parenting Styles

Men and women parent differently. Eliminating the father all together does give children a disadvantage. Some mothers choose to simplify their words, while fathers use no filters. 

Children will need to understand both styles as they enter the adult world. Additionally, fathers help children prepare for the brutality of the real world, while mothers strive to shield them from it. This will also be necessary when entering into adulthood.

It takes a Village

In a situation where it's not possible for the bio dad to be present for these lessons, remember community. It takes a village to raise a child. Do you have mentors, coaches, brothers, cousins or uncles that would make the perfect stand-in positive role model for your child? 

These men can help guide your child and give him a new outlook on the world that can neutralize the risks of growing up in a single-parent home. Young boys who have a father figure in their lives are less likely to act out. While our girls tend to be more confident.

 Highlights
  • Understanding the psychological damage having an absent father does

  • Hear about the difference in parenting styles

  • Learn how to utilize the community around you

download transcript

Hey there!

I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the podcast, I provide powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood. I also want to personally invite you to join my Facebook group. I can't wait to meet you!

Before you go, leave your info!

Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates.

First Name Last Name Email Address Yes, Sign Me Up!

We collect, use, and PROTECT your data in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

Thank you!

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