Rotolo Law Firm | New Jersey Family Law Blog | Divorce
Published by the Rotolo Law Firm, this blog contains regularly published posts that cover every possible aspect of the divorce process. Here you can find the support you need and useful advice as well.
Adjusting to the changes in your life after divorce can be challenging at any time of year, but during the holidays it’s even more difficult. Everything about the season screams family, friends and traditions, and serves as a reminder of just how much has changed in your life. The trouble is the emphasis at this time of year in particular is on what you are missing, rather than on what your life can be now that you’re moving on from a failed relationship.
There are coping mechanisms you can use to keep the holidays from getting you down and keep you focused on the positives — like establishing new traditions — as you move ahead. Dr. Kristen Hick, a clinical psychologist, shares her advice in “10 Tips for Surviving the Holidays After Divorce.”
It is common in a marriage for one spouse to opt for family coverage under their employer’s health insurance benefits. This way, the employee’s medical expenses as well as those of their partner and children are covered. But divorce changes that – health insurance policies don’t extend to ex-spouses. There’s no need to panic, just understand your options and plan accordingly.
Under most circumstances, family coverage remains in effect as long as a couple is married, even if they choose to live separately pending finalization of their divorce. Of course your spouse does have the option to switch to an individual or an individual with children plan, but usually such changes are allowed only during open enrollment periods. If you are covered under your spouse’s medical insurance, make it a point to be aware of the open enrollment dates for that plan and use the interim time to investigate all your options to find the coverage best suited to your health and your finances.
As you go through a divorce, your attention understandably can be centered on your own problems and emotions. You’re hurt, angry, sad and uncertain of what the future holds. On top of that, you’re determined not to let your soon-to-be ex get the best of you in the divorce settlement. In the midst of all this, it is sometimes difficult to give sufficient attention to what your children really need from you at the moment.
Often, a parent’s first reaction while in the divorce process is to assure their children that the divorce is not about them and it is not their fault; it’s a situation between the adults. But divorce affects everyone in the family and placating your children just won’t work. In an article entitled “Divorce is never easy – but here’s what your kids need from you,” Dr. Kevin Leman explains what your children really need and how you can help them navigate this highly emotional time in their lives.
For most couples, the decision to divorce comes only after all attempts to save their marriage have failed. Once it becomes clear that divorce is their only solution, they just want the relationship to end so they can begin the process of moving on with their new lives. Only the most narcissistic among us want the process to drag on.
A drawn-out divorce can be costly and emotionally draining. There are legal strategies you can employ to protect yourself – and your children – from additional pain. Read “Detox Your Divorce With These 5 Smart Legal Moves” to learn how you can keep your divorce process civil and as brief as possible.
Most people don’t enter into divorce lightly. In fact, it’s usually the last resort couples turn to when all other attempts to revive their dying marriage have failed. It’s no wonder then that people facing divorce run the gamut of emotions – sadness, anger, fear, disappointment. The last thing anyone in that situation needs is surprise.
Before taking that first step to filing for divorce, it is important to understand the process. Emotions have a way of clouding our judgment. Knowing what to expect in the divorce process can help couples make rational, rather than emotional, decisions that can better prepare them for their new lives; it can even help them decide if divorce really is the right answer to their marital problems. To learn more about the divorce process, read “Time To Divorce: Do You Know What To Expect During The Divorce Process?”
Studies have shown that, barring any abuse or neglect, children fare best when they have the influence of both parents. Unfortunately, relationships between adults sometimes deteriorate to the point where separation is the only answer, leaving the children caught in the middle. One thing most parents going through divorce can agree on, though, is that each wants what is best for their children. While what that best is can be a point of contention, many parents would admit that a life of alternate weekends, a couple of vacation weeks each year, and alternating holidays doesn’t exactly foster strong parent/child ties. That’s one reason why more and more parents these days are ditching these traditional custody schedules in favor of co-parenting arrangements.
In a co-parenting situation, exes work together to share their parenting responsibilities much like they did while they were still together. Sometimes that means working cooperatively with someone you may still harbor a lot of anger towards. Letting that anger get in the way can lead to counterproductive efforts that adversely affect your parenting. To figure out if you have this co-parenting thing down pat, read “Are You Co-Parenting or Counter-Parenting? Get It Right For Your Kids!”