I am Karen otherwise known as Mrs Rollman. I am the owner of this little blog. I am a military wife, a Respiratory Therapist, and a lover of all things decor! This blog is a creative outlet for me to share my love of decorating and design and to hopefully inspire all of you who come by and read it.
It has been over a month since we sold our home. I still can’t believe that this chapter in Ventura CA is over already. The military life is always changing, always moving. It is definitely not an easy road and lately I find myself really craving a permanent home. Somewhere to settle. One day maybe.
A lot has been happening over the last few weeks. We had a second miscarriage which has been devastating. From this however, we had prayers answered. Originally we were headed to Japan, and it felt like I was so lost in what I was going to do. My husband reached out and explained our situation. How we wanted to keep trying for a family and it would be almost impossible in Japan. His wonderful Commander was able to get our orders changed to stay in the states. It will still be a sacrifice since he will be headed to a deployable unit. Japan would not have been. We decided it would be worth it the end if we could have a baby. So, in other words, we are headed back to Jacksonville NC!
I have such mixed emotions on this. Being across the US from my family is never easy, however it is much closer than Japan! Jacksonville was our first duty station and I had such a rough time with it. We were young, I was away from my family for the first time, we had no money. My husband deployed to Iraq during part of the worst time in the war. My memories of that place are not too good overall. Lets hope that this time will be different. I am older and wiser as they say haha so maybe I will love it now! I am excited for character homes, seasons, and green at least.
The next few weeks will be a world wind. We are thinking of buying a new home but of course we don’t know the market there anymore. It has been over 10 years now since being there. The thought of renting though is not a fond thought to me. We found a home we both loved but it of course had already sold. Figures right? So the hunt continues. Here is to endings and starting a new chapter in our lives! Things are looking up for sure.
I was debating whether I was going to share this so soon but I thought since it was Infertility Awareness week that I would share it now. If you follow along on my Instagram you know I recently shared about our second miscarriage in 5 months. I can’t even believe I am saying that. How is it even possible? I still don’t understand it to be honest. Its been almost a year since we started our IVF journey and I wish I could say there were more highs than lows. Unfortunately it is full of lows. It’s stressful, expensive, emotional, and heartbreaking. Our first transfer resulted in a pregnancy that was soon followed by a miscarriage this past December right around Christmas. It was more heart breaking then I ever could have imagined. As much as I wanted to put everything on hold for a bit we just didn’t have time.
Fast forward through our second transfer which ended with no pregnancy, a biopsy to find out why we weren’t getting pregnant, and than our third frozen egg transfer. Third times a charm right? That’s what I told myself. And sure enough we got pregnant. Such a mixture of feelings. Hope, happiness, scared to miscarry again. I was trying not to get too attached because I was afraid.
Right before our first ultrasound I had some bleeding so I was so scared. Ultrasound day was the happiest I have been. We got to see our little bean. We had a baby. For real. I just couldn’t believe it! We would have to wait another week to be able to see the heartbeat and I couldn’t wait. Your chance of miscarriage drops when you see a heartbeat. It couldn’t come soon enough.
Three days before our second ultrasound I started bleeding again. It happens so I tried not to worry. Two days before we were supposed to go in was one of the worst nights of my life. I never knew the physical pain you go through when you miscarry. The first one was bad but this one was so much worse. It felt like giving birth (in my head it did, I obviously have never given birth). The bleeding, cramping, vomiting went on for hours. At that moment I just knew we had lost our second child. We moved our appointment up a day to find out for sure. The doctor confirmed that the baby was gone….. and my world shattered again.
How is this possible? We have done everything, paid so much for a child that we want more than anything. We have dreamed and prayed and hoped. Now I just feel lost, broken, angry, devastated. We are officially out of time before we head to Japan. It feels like the end of this. I can’t help but feel angry with God, that he’s basically telling me I am not supposed to be a mom. Everything has lined up so well with everything in our life but this. And I don’t know how to make it work now. It’s already hard enough to go through it all, but then add in military life and its impossible.
Now I have to go in every week to make sure my HCG is dropping back down to zero. It’s all just too much.
So this is where we are at. And I have no idea what to do from here. I have no idea what the next step is or if there will be one. I know this is not a happy post, but its real life. It’s raw and full of emotion…… I don’t know how to be any other way.
To be honest I don’t even know how to put into words what I am feeling right now. Devastated, hopeless, alone….. I guess I should start from the beginning.
If you have followed me for a while you know that we have started down the IVF road recently and that we have been a little tight lipped about the whole thing. We didn’t know the time frame of things and how things would turn out so we have kept things to our selves. Well we started the process back in August with a donor, which I will go into more detail at a later point, but we finally did our egg transfer on December 8th. I was scared, hopeful, nervous, excited. So many feelings. What if it didn’t work? Once the transfer happens you have to wait 10 days to find out if you are pregnant. 10 days of torture. Those were some of the longest days. We decided to try a home pregnancy test on day nine so that we could take the test together. I was prepared for a negative. I mean, I believe it is only a 60% chance of the egg implanting. I was so prepared for it to say no that I broke down sobbing with happiness when the test read “pregnant”. We got the digital kind so there was no mistaking it. PREGNANT. A word I thought I would never ever see for myself. I was still a little skeptical about the whole thing so I waited until the next day to do my blood test.
On the 18th I went in for my first blood test at the doctors. I told the lady that we got a positive test at home so I was hopeful. We had to wait until the next day for the results. More waiting. And then I got the email. We were pregnant!! For real. Never had I felt that level of happiness and excitement. We got pregnant the first time! I was nervous still as most are the first trimester but we started planning. Two days later we went and had our second test to make sure all was progressing well. My numbers doubled which was perfect and I sighed a little sigh of relief. They scheduled me the following week to have one more blood test and scheduled our first ultrasound for after the new year.
On the 26th as we drove out of town to my parents to celebrate a late Christmas we stopped for our third blood test. We knew we wouldn’t get them until the end of the day and I wasn’t worried or really thinking too much about it since the other tests went well. We planned on how we would tell my family that week. We new it was very early but being pregnant was the best Christmas present we could ask for. We wanted to share our excitement with our family. After years and years of infertility we knew they would be so happy for us.
We got to my parents and I decided to take a small nap since I worked the night before and had been up all night and day. As I laid down I realized what time it was and that I should be hearing about our results soon. I looked at my phone and had a missed call. I called my doctors office expecting to hear that our numbers had gone up to where they were and I would take my nap. I never expected the words I heard. I never expected to have this precious gift snatched away after barely even having it.
“Your numbers have dropped significantly” she told me. “I talked to the doctor and he wants you to stop taking all your meds. The embryo has stopped growing for some reason. There was something there but not any more”. It felt so cold. She was talking about my baby. My baby that I had been thanking God for all week. My baby that I had already started making plans for, had already nicknamed. Had already thought about the future with. To go from the greatest present we could have asked for to now losing it. To have to tell my family that we are having a miscarriage instead of that we are pregnant. I could barely comprehend it.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”
– Maya Angelou
Never have I felt this level of loss. Part of me wondered “Is this a miscarriage?” It seems so early…. but I was pregnant. I have a baby. Not in the normal sense I guess but this sweet baby made me a mom. It was so brief….that feeling of pure joy. Now I can’t even explain the level of loss, the level of emptiness I feel. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t process it. I don’t even know how to explain it if you haven’t experienced it. I hope you never do. Now I sit here. Waiting for the drugs to wear off and for the process of the actual miscarriage to start. And all I can think about is this sweet baby inside of me that no longer has life, and how loved he or she was and is even if such a short time.
I don’t know what the future looks like at this point and how soon we will try again. We just pray that we will some day get our rainbow baby and that this baby is now in heaven where they will never experience pain or fear. And to our little one in heaven, for the small amount of time you were on this earth you were loved so much and we will always miss all the memories we would have had with you. RIP little one…….
“Heaven and earth may separate us today, but nothing
will ever change the fact that you made me a mom”
The tour continues! Can you believe its the middle of December already? This year has flown by. Part of me is happy about that because it’s closer to my husband and I being back together. On the other hand time keeps going faster and faster and I don’t like that! Such is life though I guess. That feeling is similar to how I feel about the holiday season. On one hand, it’s my favorite time of year. Every time I drive around my neighborhood and see the Christmas lights, I can’t help but smile. Of course, then it makes me think about the fact that I don’t have kids yet. With the infertility struggle comes the sadness that we don’t have a little one to share the magic of the season with. I think thats part of the reason that I dive into decorating so much and that I go a little crazy with gifts for our family. This year I have two little nieces that I get to spoil which I am looking forward to, but the sadness will still be there. Here’s to hoping that everything works out with our IVF and next year we will finally have a little one to share it with.In the mean time I am still jumping into decorating! I already shared my living room here and my dining room here. Next on the list is my bedroom! I know a lot of you probably don’t decorate your bedroom for Christmas. I SO recommend it if you don’t normally. Every room should have a little Christmas in it in my opinion. For this year I am continuing the simple Scandinavian inspired feel. One of my favorite places on the planet happens to be Belgium and the Scandinavian look reminds me of it. Simple, neutral, and natural elements make up this look.
I didn’t go crazy with decor. The main ingredient in the space is the two cedar garlands. One on the mantle and the other is hung on the headboard of the bed. yes, it can be a bit messy hanging it, and yes it will die at some point and be a mess to remove. However the smell is worth it! Plus they are absolutely beautiful. Fresh greenery is the perfect touch. I also bought some fresh stems as well to add to the dresser cabinet.
On the mantle along with the greenery I kept things simple by adding a couple of houses. One tin from TJ Maxx, and the ceramic one from Target. On the other side I placed a vintage stoneware jug, a vintage book, and a ceramic candlestick holder. Originally I wasn’t going to hang anything not the wall but I decided to hang a small banner I made last year. A small detail that makes the space.
For the bed I layered a knitted blanket on top of the rough linen duvet. A fur pillow and reindeer pillow add a Christmas touch along with the stockings hung on the end of the bed. One of my favorite things I bought last year is the wooden string lights. I strung them on the garland over the bed and hung my favorite print from Dear Lillie on the wall. In the windows I hung up a couple of paper stars (from World Market) with fairy lights……another thing that so reminds me of Belgium! All I added to the side tables are a couple more ceramic houses and a stem or two of cedar.
On the dresser (my favorite cabinet) I really tried to keep it simple. Some fresh greenery placed in a vintage stoneware jug and ceramic pitcher, a vintage canvas turned around, some string lights, and a marble star. The tiny wreath I made out of scraps from the tree lot! I just bent it into a circle and used twine to tie it in place.
I sometimes want to just go overboard with Christmas but this year I am enjoying the simplicity. I work Christmas and then we are leaving right after to Arizona to spend our “Christmas” together so it’s better to keep things toned down this year. To be honest I am enjoying that. As much as I love lights and greenery everywhere the space feels a little cleaner with just the right amount of that holiday touch. I hope you enjoyed this little bedroom tour of mine and of course a huge thank you for stopping by!
It’s officially time to start decking the halls which of course makes me so so happy. I can already feel it. The change in seasons. Seeing the Christmas lights start to pop up in my neighborhood. This is my favorite time of year. There is a strong pull to be around my family during this time of year and I can’t wait until we are all together at Christmas. For now I am cozying up my home with lots of Christmas decor. Let me show you my Scandinavian inspired Christmas dining room.
A neutral pallet is something I stick with through out the year and this season is no different. If you saw my living room post you know that I am trying to stick with a simple almost Scandinavian feel. My dining room is the same. I wanted to use natural materials like linen, wood and greenery. There is just something about that look that I love.
With the table settings I started with a white cotton table cloth that covers only part of the table. I like that the end of the table still shows with the rustic wood but the white table cloth brightens the space up. I added a candelabra and a garland with fairy lights on top of the table cloth. I was originally just going to leave it like that. However I wanted to add some depth. What can I say, I try to be simple, but sometimes, I like a little extra. So in addition to that I decided to add some iron stone, linen napkins, stoneware bowls, and a couple of mugs. I also added a couple of tin houses with candles that I love.
On the side table I kept it similar to whats been there. Antique linen napkins piled into a bowl, more plates, cups and bowls for easy access, candlesticks (which are a favorite thing to decorate of mine) and some ironstone pottery. A few cutting boards in the window, a rustic wood star garland, and a pinecone stem add some Christmas charm.
There is just something about the Christmas season that brings a smile to my face. As I have said before it is my favorite season in general but also my favorite season to decorate for. I am a little sad this year knowing that this is the last year I will get to decorate this house for Christmas. We will be moving to Japan in the summer so this will also be the last year I get some colder weather. Not that Southern California gets super cold weather but more so than Japan. For now I will try to enjoy every moment of the season! I will probably change it up again before the season is over but what else is knew right? Don’t worry, I will be sure to share if I do!
As always feel free to leave a comment and be sure to follow along with my on Instagram for sneak peaks of what is coming up next. And thank you for stopping by and following along this little blog of mine!
I am so so excited that the holiday season is upon us. This is my favorite time of year and I always get a head start on my Christmas decor. I just don’t think a month is enough time to enjoy the lights, the tree, and just the coziness of Christmas. Yes I know a lot of you wait until after Thanksgiving and that is ok! Everyone should do what they love. That is the whole point of decorating anyways, am I right? I have held off sharing too much of my decor but now that we are about a week away from Thanksgiving I couldn’t hold back any longer!! I also wanted to share before hand to inspire you and give you some inspiration when you pull out your decor this year.
Alright, so this year I am doing something similar to last year. However I am trying to go even more minimalist then last year. I absolutely love the simple Scandinavian/Nordic vibe and I wanted to try to follow suite. I stuck with a neutral color pallet of wood, white, grey, and of course greenery. On top of that I really tried to keep things simple and paired down. Let me share my neutral minimalist christmas living room!
On the left side of the room I created a cozy corner full of christmas lights, candlelight, and comfy textures. I recently repainted the mantle to a more crisp white and I love the clean feeling it has now. I found a small electric fireplace on Craigslist for around $30 and built a small wood box to set it on to give a more realistic look. It will be great to have a “fire” through out the holidays (and it has a heater as well!). On the mantle I tried to keep it simple and clutter free. A couple of wood stars wrapped in fairy lights, an antique marmalade jar, antique cheese mold, a couple of vintage books, and a few candlesticks are all I needed to get the holiday look. Hanging from the mantle I added a garland with more fairy lights and a couple of beautiful linen stockings.
For the glider I pushed the stool and the chair together and layered a fur, and heavy knitted grey blanket from Nordstrom Rack. The grey linen pillow I bought in Belgium last year and paired it with a knitted euro pillow. I wanted to make sure there was a place to set things when snuggled up in this chair so I moved my small wood table from Target next to the chair. In my book you can never have to many trees so I added a couple of small ones to make this corner the perfect place to curl up in with a book or cup of coffee! Let me tell you its hard to leave it!
On the opposite of the room is the star of the show, the Christmas tree of course! I REALLY almost left the tree with no decorations at all but decided for Christmas I needed to add a few things. The only things I added are a couple of wood slice garlands, a couple wool ball garlands, and raw wood ornaments. For the tree topper I found this adorable wool dove from Anthropologie and thought it would be an adorable addition. I decided to make a chunky knit tree skirt this year and I love how that turned out. I have done most of my Christmas shopping already (I know right!?). Staying with my neutral pallet I used white, marble, and tan wrapping papers and decorated them with twine and greenery. I will be doing a separate post on different ways to wrap your gifts this year.
On the entertainment center I have changed that up several times. It all seemed so cluttered to me so i finally pulled everything off and kept it super simple with some candlesticks and garland. I love it much better now. On the couches I changed out my pillow covers with grey linen (Restoration Hardware Outlet), fur (Target), white knitted, and some white wool pillows (one with a deer and one with a bear from Target). I added a chunky knit blanket I knitted last year as well. On the side table I arranged a collection of pottery I have collected and added some pinecone stems with stars cut out of an old book.
I also decorated our little back entryway for the Christmas season. I simply hung up a garland with fairy lights, a hanging star candle holder, cutting board, linen towel, and a cute Christmas sign. On the bench I placed a knit pillow, my “cuddle weather” pillow, and a few texture throws. Simple and festive!
Can you see why this is my favorite time of year? There is just something about the twinkling lights, the cool weather, and the coziness of textured throws and candlelight. I truly hope this inspires you for whenever you decide to haul out your Christmas decor this year! I will be back soon to share some other spaces in my home but for now I hope you can grab some fun ideas and inspiration for the upcoming Christmas season. Have a wonderful week my friends and be sure to leave me a comment on what you think and follow along with my on Instagram and Facebook!
Hi guys! Long time no see. I know I know I say that a lot lately. Unfortunately with everything going on in my life right now I just haven’t had the time to decorate for the seasons and share with you guys as much as I want to. I am finally sharing another corner of the house that I HAVE decorated. I recently decided to makeover my fireplace mantle in the living room. It looked good in pictures but in person it was a little on the yellow side and a bit dirty. I originally wanted to strip it down but it looked AWFUL. A big fat fail. In the end I decided to paint it. It’s finally painted which motivated me to finally decorate it!
For the decor I wanted to keep it neutral and simple. This was so easy to pull together with things that I already had. All you need is euculyptus, pumpkins, vintage books, candles and a print of your choice. On the floor I stacked a lot of vintage books in different heights. To add some fall touches I places a bunch of candlesticks and a couple of pumpkins on top of the books. It just took some trial and error to get it where I really liked it.
On the top of the mantle I started with some eucalyptus branches from Traders Joes. On top of the branches I placed a couple of bigger blue/green pumpkins and layered in some white baby boos. On the opposite side I kept it simple with some more eucalyptus in a glass jar and a small marble candle holder from Target. I finished off the look with a canvas painting turned around. I like the texture and color of the back. I pinned a print from Dear Lillie to add that little extra pop. It also a saying that I absolutely love.
Doesn’t the mantle look great painted white!? I am sure some people will wish I had left it alone but I just love how clean and fresh it feels now. I might still distress it a bit I just haven’t decided yet. To finish off the fall feel I layered a couple of pillows in the glider chair next to the fireplace and added a white blanket. It just adds another later of coziness to this little corner.
Oh and I of course couldn’t not share how this space looks at night. That is one of the best parts! There is just something about candle light……
When I got done with this space it just reminded me of why I decorate my spaces. It brings a new fresh feel to my home without even buying anything new. The holiday season is my favorite. Since this is the last one in the states for awhile I am really trying to remind myself to enjoy the decorating process in this little house of ours before we have to sell it and move on.
What do you think of this little corner all dolled up for Fall? What is your favorite time of the year? DOn’t forget to follow along with me on Instagram and Facebook for sneak peaks and my every day!
I am so excited that it is officially fall! Not that the weather is agreeing with me but in my head it is sweater weather. Yeah I wish. No matter, the inside of my house is officially in an Autumn state of mind! We still don’t have decent pumpkins so until then I am keeping things very minimal. If you don’t know already we are moving to Japan next year so I have already been selling stuff off.
Recently the entryway bench that was there has been sold so it was time for a refresh. I had it all mostly planned out before we even sold the bench (we will be selling the house so I have to make sure I can stage the house). I planned on moving the theater seats from the back entry to the front entry. I however did not measure first! With all three seats it was a bit to long to fit the space. Enter panic mode! Now what do I do!? Lucky for me it wasn’t too difficult to unhook one of the seats and make it into two. Of course I like it better with three but for now we are only using two to fit the space and storing the third in the garage. This is what I came up with.
On the wall I added the hooks that were by the back door to hang coats, scarves, and other things on. I moved the theater seats to one side and the hooks to the opposite side to make room to hang longer items. Above the hooks I added the “hello” cut out I got from Hobby Lobby. In the middle I hung my favorite sign from Down Grace Lane with one of my favorite house quotes from Lord of The Rings. There was a bit of an empty area to the left of the sign so I came up with the idea of hanging one of the corbels I had. On the bottom I screwed in two hooks so I could hang more scarves on the wall. It adds a fun vintage vibe.
The star of the show of course is these vintage theater seats that I am still obsessed with. I took off the end piece as I said and kept the two that say “usher” on them (which is one of my favorite things about these particular seats). The rug was a find from TJ Maxx. I want to say it was only around $15. I added a couple of pillows to the seat to soften it a bit and add a fall vibe. The autumn pillow is from Parris Chic Boutique (I love their pillows!) and the grey linen pillow was bought on our Europe trip in Belgium.
I definitely didn’t overdue it with fall decor. For now there is no pumpkins or anything like that. I just added some subtle touches like the plaid blanket hung up and the autumn pillow to give you the small touch of the season without going over the top. You really don’t need a lot of stuff to decorate for the seasons. I usually go crazy but this year with our upcoming move I am trying my hardest to keep things a bit more subtle. I hope you enjoyed this little entry tour and my touches of fall! Thanks so much for stopping by!!
You guys its been to long since I have posted on here! There has been so many things happening in my life lately that I just haven’t really had the time or been inspired much. My favorite seasons are coming up so I am finally feeling inspired to decorate for fall! First on the list is my simple fall dining room.
If you follow me on Instagram you know that I was originally going in a certain direction with my decor. Well, then we found out that we got orders to Japan. Yup, Japan. More on that later. For now that totally changed my direction. I was originally going to actually add orange and go a bit darker. However with our new orders I didn’t want to buy anything new this season. I need to start purging so buying wasn’t an option! Since we will be purging (I have already started) I decided to go simple and neutral. I decided to use things I already have.
I recently decided to change our metal chairs out with wood ones. They add so much more worth and character then the metal ones. It didn’t cost much, I poked around thrift stores and flea markets and picked up each chair from $4 – $15 a piece. I am loving the eclectic look. I added a few pillows and a blanket I made to the end chair.
For the centerpiece I kept things simple. A few antlers, pumpkins, marble candlesticks, a copper kettle, and some smaller ironstone pieces complete the look. The table runner is actually a $10 curtain panel from World Market. Simple and neutral…just how I like it!
Above the side table I added my favorite fall sign from Down Grace Lane. On the table itself I again kept it simple. Some extra plates, bowls, mugs, and linen napkins. The mix of candlesticks is something I always love. It just adds a lot of warmth and reminds me of the colder season to come!
There is something about the holiday seasons that just put me in a good mood! I look forward to family time and cooler weather. this is also the last holiday season for us in the states for a few years so I want to enjoy every moment! I also wanted to show you how this little space looks by candle light, one of my favorite things.
So many things will be changing in the coming year but for now I am going to enjoy decorating this little house of ours before we sell the place. I will be sad to sell and to move back to renting but I won’t think about that too much yet. I will enjoy the process of decorating for the Fall season and take in every moment! We will see how quickly I can get the rest of the house decorated with everything going on. I’ll enjoy this little space for now. What do you think of our dining room fall decor? How is your decorating coming along this season? Are you going all out or keeping things simple this year? As always I appreciate all of you who stop by his little blog of mine! It means so much.
(I know a lot of my posts lately have been about my infertility journey but we are sort of right in the middle of it and it has been on my mind a lot lately.)
This post is for you…..for you who are struggling with infertility. For you……the one who has miscarried. For you…..the one who was told she doesn’t have eggs to create a child. For you…..the one who can’t carry her own child. For you…..the one who doesn’t understand why she isn’t getting pregnant. This post if for you.
You are are beautiful and you are enough. Your body may have failed you but you are still a person. A whole person. A person worthy of love and kindness. You have known a pain that the majority of people won’t know or understand. For that you are thankful. You are thankful that most don’t have to go through this suffering because you wouldn’t wish it on anyone. That is how kind, selfless, and beautiful you are. You feel that mix of happiness and sadness when another pregnancy announcement is made. You are beyond excited and relieved when you find out someone was able to get pregnant without all the problems you deal with. It is ok to be equally sad.
It is ok to be sad, to have those days that it takes everything in you to get out of bed. It is ok to take a day for you. To let the sadness swallow you up for a while. To let yourself cry uncontrollably. Let yourself have a moment. To let yourself grieve. Most days you are strong, unwavering on the outside so no one knows how you are dying inside at times. So give yourself those moments to let yourself go. It’s ok to want to skip that baby shower, to not go to church on Mothers Day, to hide yourself away after another pregnancy announcement for awhile. It’s ok to be selfish once in awhile and take care of yourself. Talk about it to someone…..or don’t. Either way, it’s ok.
Your journey is your own and yours only. So choose your own path. Whether that be adoption, IVF, or no kids at all, that is ok. Ignore that comment from that friend of a friend. Whatever path you decided to go down is right for YOU. I have had people tell me so many things……”do this its cheaper”, “just adopt”, “just relax”, “what happens happens”…… NO. I know that you have talked out every avenue as I have. You have weighed all the options and researched all the ways you can go. You have talked all the topics to death with your spouse. You have agonized over it all just like I have. Just take your time and make the best choice with your significant other and try to block out everyone else.
To all you women who are struggling……..I understand. I struggle with feeling like enough, to overcoming the grief, to try and educate people. Some days are good and some days are the lowest of lows. I understand the deep longing of wanting to be a mom. I understand that feeling of dread when someone asks you if you have children, or if you want kids. I understand that deer in the headlights feeling you get when you try to decide how to answer. I understand that frustration you feel when someone else tries to give you advice that you have heard for the hundredth time. I understand that feeling of being left out when you are surrounded by people with kids and you have none. I understand….and I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Infertility can be SUCH a lonely feeling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I pray that you find peace and comfort in this journey. I pray that wherever your path takes you that you will find joy. I pray that even in the grief and pain that you experience that your good days out weigh the bad. I pray that you have people in your life that provide comfort and support and I pray that you find the courage to continue on.
You are a strong person. Stronger than most because of the things you have to go through. Most people have no idea how strong you are. I just wanted you to know……..