Lyndi Cohen is The Nude Nutritionist, a Sydney media nutritionist, wholefoods dietitian and blogger helping people stop emotional eating and end yo-yo dieting. Get healthy eating tips, nutrition inspiration and learn how to stop binge eating.
Do you know why it's hard to lose the last few kilograms or pounds? It's because you're probably not supposed to. Those extra 5-10 pounds (that weight where your body naturally wants to be) that's where your body functions at it's best.That's where your hormones are balanced, your body is strong and your mood is stable. It's the weight where you fall asleep easily, you have boundless energy and your mind is free to think about things other than macros, calories or reps at the gym. But because society and your Instagram feed have programmed you to think that's how you 'should' look, you torture yourself to lose those last few pounds. If it feels like your body is fighting against you when you try to lose those last few kilograms, it's because of your body IS fighting against you. When your weight drops below where it's meant to be, your body will fight back.The deprivation will trigger a binge and suck you into the emotional eating cycle. Your 'dedication' will turn into fixation and obsession - and you'll become controlled by thoughts of food. And your metabolism will slow - so you'll need to eat even less and train even harder to maintain your dream weight.This used to be me. When I was a dieter, I used to punish myself to try and look better in a bikini. But it made everything harder... But not anymore.
I like to go out for dinner with friends and family. And order what I want. And get a glass of wine. That's not something I'm willing to give up to look perfect in a bikini (whatever that means!).
Read: The Truth About Losing Weight and Foods a Nutritionist Never EatsWhen you push your body to lose those last few stubborn pounds, you're giving up more than just calories.You miss out on life. You miss out on seeing friends. "That sounds great!" becomes "I'm sorry, I can't come... I need to lose weight"You pay with your freedom, your spontaneity... the simple pleasures in life. You give up:Sharing laughs with your friends over a cheese board.Falling asleep easily, feeling satiated, happy, and full. Licking the bowl after you've baked your best friend a birthday cake.Eating your favourite dessert because you wanted to treat yourself. Going to a restaurant and ordering what you want - never googling the menu beforehand. Catching up with your best friend for dinner (because you aren't willing to miss a workout). Those last 5-10 pounds are your favourite holidays and unforgettable memories. These days, I won't give up the simple pleasures in life just to look good in a bikini. I'm the healthiest I've ever been, and this is what my body looks like naturally. And I'm happy with that. I won't ever be a model. I will never have the 'best' body at the beach. But I go to sleep happy with myself (without any guilt about what I ate that day) and my thoughts aren't dictated by what I'm 'allowed' to eat or my hips bones.My body doesn't look perfect but it's perfect as it is.
Here I am enjoying Ramen in Japan earlier this year. I won't miss out on life to lose the last few pounds. My body is happy at this weight. P.s. How good is Ramen?!
So to the woman who wants to lose the last few pounds, consider this instead:1. You are already at the perfect weight for your body, where it functions at it's best, it's healthiest, it's strongest2. Looking good in a bikini does not mean you are healthy. Most people don't naturally have a bikini body or abs when they are at their healthiest weight. Unfollow 'wellness' accounts that share bikini and ab shots and call it health and balance. Appreciate how many sacrifices have really been made...3. When your life revolves around food and what you look like, your life and potential is limited. If you want to be successful, if you want to be great (admired, appreciated, respected), you need your brain power. When you starve your body, you can't think straight. Your thoughts are taken up by what you're 'allowed' to eat. When you restrict, you can never be your best. 4. Accepting your body does not mean you're giving up on yourself. It does not mean accepting that this is the best you'll ever look. Accepting your body is about knowing that you are enough as you are. It is confidence in your innate worth and beauty. And confidence, not your weight, is truly what makes you beautiful. Your life doesn't have to revolve around food.If you're sick of feeling guilty when you eat, check out my Keep It Real Program. It'll teach you a balanced mindset around food so you don't have to struggle with your weight or body image. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE...
Unlike what fitness and fashion magazines tells us, real confidence isn’t earned by removing all your body hair, colouring in your brows or finally getting ‘toned’. Real confidence can’t come off with your waterproof mascara, toupé or spanx. Real confidence doesn’t wilt under a fluorescent light bulb, a bright camera flash or wither with each birthday cake you’re given. “Conditional confidence” (that’s what I’m calling it) is for suckers (i.e not you my friend because you’re fabulous). The kind of confidence I dream of for you is much more grand and permanent. That juicy, succulent kind of confidence - the kind that can be felt and seen in someone no matter what they’re wearing - is impossible to fake. Real confidence sticks with you. It’s unconditional.So if you want to build confidence that last longer than a set of false eyelashes or a one-night stand, then lean in and let’s chat.
Do you want to be more confident? First, let’s get back to basics. Rule #1 of Unconditional Confidence: Confidence is based on how well you think you can do something. In other words, you build confidence through practice. So if you’re confident at public speaking, chances are you’ve done quite a bit of public speaking before. You’re confident at things you’re good at.…And you’re good at things you practice. Therefore, if you want to build confidence, you just need a little practice. Rule #2 of Unconditional Confidence: You can’t build confidence without first feeling uncomfortable.Many people try to avoid discomfort by trying to build confidence (to cover up their insecurities). This is a mistake because…Discomfort is the path to confidence.For example, just like you can’t become confident at public speaking without ever getting up in front of any audience…You won’t feel more confident with how you look by covering up (with make-up or clothes) all the things you don’t like about yourself. And you can’t build body confidence by losing weight or getting plastic surgery. Do all these things and you will temporarily fake confidence… but you won’t build unconditional, long-lasting, life-changing confidence. To get unconditionally confident, you need to: be cool with being crap. allow yourself to be average and awkward and odd… realise you’re always going to be imperfect no matter how much you work at it. start before you ‘feel ready’get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Rule #3 of Unconditional Confidence: You aren’t born with confidence and you can’t buy confidence. While some people are born with natural talent or good looks, which makes it easier to build unconditional confidence…….confidence is always something you build and cultivate with time and practice. Unconditional confidence is intrinsic. It goes everywhere with you, not matter what you wear or what you weigh. Via @nude_nutritionist on Apr 10, 2018 at 6:56am PDT Rule #4 of Unconditional Confidence: Confidence is what happens when you take off your armour. If you only feel confident while wearing make-up, you’ll always feel you need to wear make-up to be seen and feel confident. If you only feel confident when you’re wearing your ‘thin’ clothes, you’ll feel scared to leave the house when you naturally fluctuate. If you want to feel more confident about how you look, you actually need to peel OFF the layers that you put on. And then challenge your new limits… Lyndi’s Unconditional Confidence Challenges:CHALLENGE 1: DON’T WEAR MAKE UP FOR A WEEKLetting people see your pimples, wrinkles, lines or spots… and knowing that you’re still OK? This can build real confidence.Wearing make up makes your skin worse, which means you want to wear more make up to cover it all up… and things escalate from there. What would happen if you didn’t wear make up? Would people’s opinion of you change? Would your opinion of yourself change? What you might find is nothing much happens except you gain more time in your day for other things you care about. If the idea of this challenge seems ‘too much’ or ‘too hard’, ask yourself why that is. Perhaps, then this challenge is worth trying. Via @nude_nutritionist on Apr 10, 2018 at 6:56am PDT
CHALLENGE 2: TELL BULLIES TO BACK OFFA lot of advice on building confidence tells you to just ‘be yourself’… which is stupid because of course you’ve tried that (and what the hell does' ‘just be yourself’ even mean?) Fact is: it’s bloody hard to ‘just be yourself’ and put yourself out there when you’re surrounded by critics (ahem: dickheads). For unconditional confidence to grow, you need to create an environment for it. This means telling haters to back off. If you have a friend or family member (perhaps your mum or partner?) who ‘tries to help’ by making comments about your weight but who only leaves you deflated, it’s time to have a chat with them and set you boundaries.If these comments aren’t helpful, it’s time to tell them it’s not OK (and even if you once asked them to do it, you can change your mind and ask them to do the opposite). It’s going to be hard and uncomfortable but that’s why Rule #2 is there. You can do it, kiddo. I give concrete tips and ideas on how to do this in my book, The Nude Nutritionist. Via @nude_nutritionist on Apr 10, 2018 at 6:56am PDT
CHALLENGE #3. SMILE AT STRANGERSThe fundamental fear we all have, the reason for our lack of confidence is: “People will judge me”.This is why we keep our lives and dreams small and are too afraid to speak up or be seen. It’s time to challenge that idea. Start by smiling at strangers you pass on the street. What you’ll find is that almost everyone will smile back.This little practice will help teach you that people often respond very well when you put yourself out there. Just by smiling at a stranger, you can go from fearing someones judgement to connecting. I believe this practice also boosts your mood and can help you be less judgemental to yourself and others, helping you build confidence. Though it’s very true that not everyone is always going to like you. You need to have the courage to be disliked. In fact, knowing you are disliked and being OK with it can bring bucketloads of confidence.Rule #5 of Unconditional Confidence: Do self care and get self aware. No human is confident when tired or hangry or heaps hormonal. We all doubt ourselves when we are weakened by the world - or our menstrual cycle. Self care is essential to confidence because it keeps your energy stores high and gives you the best foundation to go out into the world with. Self care means: having good hygiene - a clean face, body and clothes. moving your body for energy and to keep your mood balanced. fuelling your body with foods that make you feel good.saying no when people ask too much of you. taking time out to restore your energy when it’s lowBut self care without self awareness is useless. So get good at listening to that smart, wonderful body of yours. What is it asking from you? Are you listening to what it has to say or too busy being tuned into the chatter of other peoples opinions? And how do your actions affect other people? When we are kind and respectful to other people, I believe it’s much easier to be kind and respectful to ourselves. Take home messageBuilding unconditional confidence requires you to be brave. To take care of yourself. There is no short cut or quick fix. The process can be uncomfortable. But once you’ve earned real confidence by doing the work, through practice, it’s deeply comforting to know that it can never be rinsed off in the shower or taken away from you by someone else. LEAVE A COMMENT! Did you enjoy this blog post on building confidence? Did you learn something new? I love to hear from you so please let me know in the comments section. LIKED THIS POST? HERE ARE MORE BLOG POSTS YOU LOVE: