Hey guys. So it’s been a while since I’ve just sat down and written from my heart. It’s how this whole blog started- my love of writing down my feelings and sharing- and so I want to make sure I never lose sight of it. If you’re here for the fashion, or the kid’s stuff, or the home stuff, come back next week- there will be plenttyyyyy of that! ;) Today, though. Today is just time for me to write. Whatever’s on my mind. Some Motherhood Musings, if you will…
It’s May 2018. Sam is already 4 (I HAVE A 4 YEAR OLD, HOW?!) and Sophie is 2. They are incredible little human beings. They challenge me DAILY. They make me stop and think. They slow me down and make me enjoy what’s right in front of me. They teach me to see the joy in the little things. And I really can’t imagine my life without them.
But it’s hard. This is so so so HARD. And some days, it breaks me. Some moments, I lose my temper and just yell right back at them. Especially Sophie. If you’ve ever lived with a two year old girl, YOU KNOW. They are CRAZY. This one, anyway, she is a feisty little one. She knows what she wants, and she wants it NOW. She is so demanding, and bossy, and she’ll throw a fit at the drop of a hat if she doesn’t get her way.
And here’s a confession: I find myself losing my temper so much more with her than with Sam. And even for the exact same things!!! And then I instantly feel terrible because I see how unfair it is. But with Sam, because of his autism and his developmental delays, I think I treat him differently without even thinking about it. He gets away with so much more. And I expect so much more of Sophie, only because I KNOW she is capable of more.
And then the guilt creeps in. Gosh, does that sound as terrible to you as it does to me? I just pray that she doesn’t resent me when she’s older. I pray that she doesn’t resent her brother, or our circumstances. I pray she doesn’t see him getting away with things she never would, and hating us for it.
This is hard. It’s so very hard. And sometimes it feels like I have no idea what I’m doing.
But then… I’m reminded. I’m not doing this alone. I wasn’t given these two (beautiful) babies for nothing. God never gives you what you can’t handle. I believe this will all of my heart. I KNOW I can do this.
At the end of each of my workouts with my Stroller Strides group, we say these affirmations, and I have never believed them more than I do right now:
I am strong.
I am beautiful.
I am confident.
I am loved.
And I am an awesome mom.
I am, I am, I AM.
And yes, I’m messy. Yes, I’m imperfect. Yes, I’m making this up as I go along. But I’m not alone. I’ve got some infinite wisdom guiding me through.
And guess what? So do you. Whatever is going on in your life right now, whether you’re floating through, feel like you’re sinking, or are walking on water (like my analogies there?), YOU’VE GOT THIS. And HE’S got YOU.
And you know, these kiddos of mine are gonna be alright. Sam is THRIVING in school and all of his therapies. We have him in speech once a week, OT once and week, and his ABA therapy is combined with his preschool, 5 days a week. It’s a lot, but it’s what he needs, and he is growing leaps and bounds.
His behaviors are wayyyy down. He used to bite- a LOT. Poor thing, it was mostly out of frustration, simply because he didn’t have a way to tell us what he wanted or needed, so that was his way of communicating! Just imagine not being able to tell people what you wanted or needed- you would be mad and frustrated too!! He’s bitten me (the hardest was on my neck, leaving the playground, and that is coincidentally one of the hardest times I’ve cried- not because it hurt, although it hurt like a MOTHER, but because I was so emotionally wounded and saddened and in a very dark place about his diagnosis, and that brought me down even more), he’s bitten Zack, he’s bitten his therapists (who have always been nothing but gracious- they’re used to it in their line of work), but what’s the worst: he’s bitten his sister. Poor girl. If you’ve ever had a child bite their sibling, that cry is one of the hardest ones to hear. It’s full of terror and hurt and confusion. And to have to protect one of your kids from the other? It’s heartbreaking. I was at a point where I never thought they would ever play together. I never thought I could ever trust them alone together.
But now here we are. A year later, and SHE’S the one biting HIM (but of course, for her it’s developmentally appropriate at this age, albeit still not okay). Ha! Go figure. But in all seriousness, now we CAN trust them together. Now I know he will be sweet and gentle with her (oh, so so so sweet! He gives her kisses now!!! Without being prompted! It makes my heart sing!). We’ve learned the art of transitions, and how to make them smoother (countdowns and timers are huge! Visual schedules have been helpful too!), he’s more flexible, he can attend to a task, he waits with his peers, he follows the leader out to the playground, he LISTENS and follows directions (this was a big goal of ours, and one he couldn’t do a year ago!), his receptive language (what he understands) is amazing!, he’s less of a picky eater (most days), he holds our hands when walking, he makes more eye contact and smiles so much, he’s just a sweet and happy little boy, and I’m so grateful for him.
And did I tell you, he’s been talking!!! Just a word here and there, but they’re coming! I know they are. I believe that they are. That’s the thing about believing, it makes miracles happen. He was nonverbal, like completely 100% did NOT say a word (only sounds and grunts and singing/humming), up until a few weeks ago. And he’s slowly been saying more and more. He’ll say “Yeah” and “Hi!” and he even said “Bear” (and appropriately, like TO GET A STUFFED BEAR- which is huge. It’s all about finding that motivation!). So. This is my reminder to myself to never ever give up. On my kids or on myself. Or most importantly, on GOD. Because He is in control, after all.
And then there’s Sophie. She is our little star. She loves being the center of attention. She cracks us up always. She narrates our entire days. She remembers EVERYTHING. She loves singing songs, knows her “ABCD’s” and counts to 10 (backwards, too). She loooooves doggies and kitties the most, and always wants to give them hugs when she sees them anywhere. She is fierce and feisty and SO MUCH FUN.
So life is crazy. It’s busy. It’s go-go-go. But it’s beautiful, and it’s fun and it’s ours. And I’ve had three different women tell me this week how much they miss this stage- the messy, hectic, babies-on-your-hips and toddlers running amuck stage- and how they’d give anything to go back to here- RIGHT HERE, where I am. And I know this wasn’t for nothing.
So I’m slowing down. I’m being present and intentional in my days, moments, seconds with my babies (yes, they’re still my babies). I’m tuning in to their sweet and individual little souls, and enjoying them both exactly where they are. I’m allowing myself grace. I’m allowing THEM grace. I’m taking deep breaths before I speak, I’m reading “one more book” at bedtime, I’m singing “You Are My Sunshine” for a few more choruses, I’m lying in bed with them a little longer, because these days are already slipping by so much quicker than I’d like, and I’m not going to let them go without holding them as tight as I can, and relishing in them.
Because I know I’ll miss this. And I know every stage, every season, brings it’s own difficulties and it’s own joys. Why rush things? I’ll take what comes, and I’ll take my time.
Sophie girl is officially in her big girl bed! And as you can see, she’s kind of loving it. ;) We were sent this gorgeous Jenny Lind bed from DHP Furniture (on sale HERE!) and are seriously in love. It’s just so pretty and goes with her room beautifully (and will even more once I finally decorate it all!). We also were sent a mattress and foundation to complete the look. We picked out these cute heart sheets too. And of course put the best bumper ever on so she is snug and safe in that big bed (get it HERE)! She has slept through every night, not a problem. Girl is a dream! It’s hilarious, because she is such a hoarder, and now that she has a bigger bed, she has more space to bring ALL OF THE THINGS into bed with her every night! It’s quite hilarious. Whatever it takes, baby girl.
We also were sent some new mattress protectors for both kids, from our favorite brand (the owner is also a follower of mine!). Seriously they are the softest, guys, and also cool, hypoallergenic and absorb moisture. And ya know, especially with kiddos and potty accidents, a mattress protector is a MUST! #justsayin If you buy from the Pure Grace website, use code KATIE20 for 20% off!
Summer nights, I can feel you. It’s been so beautiful here, and we’ve been taking advantage with walks through our new neighborhood every night. Couldn’t be happier! Cutest wagon HERE!
Happy Tuesday, friends! Sharing some photos from our fun weekend today. Mother’s Day was so special, and I just felt super blessed and full all day long. Also, Zack surprised me with a chocolate croissant (my absolute FAVORITE), mocha, flowers, chocolate… I MEAN. This man of mine is too good to me! Oh, and he made the cuuuutest card “from the kids” which just made me even more emotional than normal. ;)
Saturday, Zack and I got to go on a little day date for a few hours in the afternoon. We grabbed lunch and worked at a coffee shop and of course did a little Target shopping, because I ALWAYS need something from Target. We ended up getting another basket, because one can never have too many baskets haha. But really. It’s my motto in life. Never too many baskets.
Sharing their candy… ? Ha!
THIS GIRL. I can’t even. She’s the best.
Twinning with my girl- sunnies and hats. I will do this for as long as she lets me!
Alright, I’m back with another round of Amazon purchases! These are so much fun for me to share, mainly because I love seeing what others get from Amazon, so I hope you all like seeing what we get too! I feel like I should call this one the “New Home Edition” because so many things are for our new home, ha! Anyway, here we goooo…
1. KID’S TRUCKER HAT– I mean. I couldn’t help myself. Now, who wants to place bets on whether Sophie will actually keep this on her head…? At this price, I think Sam needs one too. Just debating between black and teal… What do you think?
2. SECHE VITE TOP COAT– My friend told me to try this, and it’s seriously SO GOOD. Makes your nail polish dry faster (neeeeed!) and makes a mani last SO MUCH longer! My nails were chipping so much before I started using this! And I always do my own manis at home, so I needed this!!
3. RING SECURITY CAMERA– It’s a motion-sensing video camera that allows us to see activity outside, and also shines a spotlight when it detects motion and has an audible alarm that we can manually turn on if we want! So, yeah. Pretty damn awesome. AND it connects to our phones, so we can watch from anywhere.
4. VELVET HANGERS– So exciting, I know. But these are a game-changer! Hold clothes really well, and I love that all of our hangers are uniform now. Looks much more organized.
5. BOUNCE HOUSE– Yes, we got our kids a bounce house. And yes, I’m really excited about it. #momlife
6. MINI HAIR BRUSHES– These are for the kids. I have the full size version and LOVE it (so good for getting all the tangles out!) and Sophie was obsessed with mine, so now she has her own. ;) It’s nice and gentle on her hair, too!
7. DESK– Guys. This desk is GORGEOUS!!! I’ll share our office soon here on the blog, but I’m just obsessed with my new desk! It’s seriously pretty, and sooo sturdy and well-made! Holds a ton too. Those organizers are a dream!
ANNNND I’m participating in a super fun Mother’s Day giveaway with my friends at Wantable! I love teaming up with them every month to share their awesome subscription box of fitness clothes (best motivation!), and am excited to be giving away $500 credit so you can get your own goodies! ENTER HERE!
I hope you have a great weekend, friends!! And Happy Mother’s Day on Sunday to all my mama friends! :)
This was supposed to be a picture to show my fave Levi’s, new fave suede jacket (like buttah), cute new spring bag (my color is sold out, but so many others!) and pretty spring flowers. BUT, in addition to those things, it’s really highlighting our real life at the moment. Tool box and tools, some empty boxes, a few incomplete projects on the dresser (#newhomeprobs), a box of tissues, and the cutest and sassiest two year old you’ve ever seen, complete with her kitty and sunglasses (inseparable, my friends). Annnnd it’s kind of way better that way, IMHO.
Happy Thursday, friends! One more day until the weekend, so I thought now would be a good time to share some recent outfits from the past week. Ya know, when I actually changed out of my workout clothes/leggings. ;) Hope this serves as some outfit inspiration for you!
This post sponsored by Nordstrom. All opinions are 100% my own.
Mom truth: I basically live in my workout clothes, 90% of the time. So it’s important to me that they are versatile and easily taken from the gym to the street. Because mom life doesn’t really allow for much down time, and I’m lucky to get a shower at night, let alone change my outfit halfway through the day. ;) Today I’m sharing some of my favorite athleisure looks with Nordstrom, and showing how by just switching out a few simple items, you can take your look from fitness to errands. And all the busy boss babes said, “Yaaaass!”
First off, I have to talk about my love for Nordstrom. It’s no secret, I am always sharing pieces from here, because it’s my favorite one-stop destination for any occasion! And, hi, free shipping and free returns and the greatest customer service around! Can’t be beat! ;) I think it’s safe to say my closet is composed of roughly 95% Nordstrom items. #truth. It’s also safe to say that I LIVE in leggings (mom life, and also I work out every day and work from home, so why would I change out of said leggings…?) So let’s get on to the outfits, from working out to everyday wear. And of course you can find every piece at Nordstrom!
First off, I’m obsessed with the moto legging trend, and THESE are the best I’ve found! Paired with a cute Adidas tee, knotted for some more style points, and my go-to Nikes, I’m ready for a good morning run.
For my second look, it’s no surprise that I’m wearing my favorite of all time, Zella live in leggings. They are literally my most worn item in my wardrobe. I’m borderline obsessed with them. And they are easily taken from workout to streetwear! The best part. I can run in them and then go straight to running errands and grabbing coffee with girlfriends, and no one has to know. ;) And really, since I start every day with a workout, and I have my little toddler sidekick with me, we are pretty much go-go-go from morning until lunchtime (and then the coveted NAPTIME!), so I need to have clothes that are versatile and easily transformed from workout to errands. This is one such look that works beautifully to transition from the gym to running errands!
How cute is this striped tee?! I just throw my favorite suede jacket over it to bring it up a notch. Instant “going out” look. Switch out the shoes to some trusty converse (because we’re not trying to be too fancy, I mean we are still wearing leggings after all) and you’re good to go.
What’s your go-to, everyday style? Are you more of a dresser-upper, or are you athleisure all the way, or somewhere in between?
Hey friends! I hope you had a great weekend! Ours was nothing out of the ordinary, but goodness was it full! :) Full of sweetness and love and fun. And a few meltdowns thrown in there for good measure, let’s be real. ;) SO. Some photos from our weekend!
Friday morning was a family day at Sam’s school. We were there from 8-12, doing different fun activities and ending with a BBQ lunch. It. Was. Exhausting. And I have a HUGE respect for preschool teachers! I couldn’t do it! Y’all are the REAL MVP’s.
My little morning cuties. Mornings are kind of my favorite. Look at them!!
Saturday was a date night with ma boo. We went shopping for the new house (Home Goods and Hobby Lobby for the winnnn!) and then had dinner at Zocalo, our fave Mexican restaurant, because #CincodeMayo! ;) We had to be festive, duh!
My heart is full.
Today is my mama’s birthday, so it’s just one of those hard days for me. When you lose a loved one, there are certain days that are just “dark” no matter what. This is one of those for me. I’ll be honoring her in everything I do today, and will surely be nonstop thinking of her. Her beautiful smile, her sweet way of making everyone feel so loved and wanted, and her humor. Maman, je t’aime. Toujours.
I just realized I haven’t actually shared a new home tour here on the blog yet! I did a quick little video tour on my Instagram stories (just click the “HOME” highlight) but haven’t shared photos of our new house yet! We officially moved in about a month ago, and are definitely still settling in and making it our own. We don’t have all of our furniture yet (no couch for example… hoping to get a sectional soon!) and there’s pretty much no artwork on the walls yet (I’m dying to finally start getting it all up though!) BUT things are definitely coming together and it’s feeling more and more like “home.” :)
The last house we were in was actually the house I grew up in- a little 1000 square foot home with one bathroom and a cute backyard. Small, humble and oh so sentimental (and for a painfully sentimental person such as myself, you can imagine!). I’m planning on sharing a house tour of that home soon, too, because I love it so, but in the meantime, here is a little peek into our new home! Our 2500 square foot, brand new build, the house that we finally- FINALLY- get to call OUR OWN!!! Still getting used to that… ;)
A few photos from the beginning stages…
A peek into our master, at the top of the stairs.
The dreamiest of floors! So excited to finally get this room FURNISHED! A sectional, coffee table, tv stand, an accent chair and side table…
Sweet little spot under the stairs. Just needs a big round mirror! Kids table is from Ikea, accent rug is HERE! and white basket is HERE.
The kid’s bathroom.
My happy place. That white subway tile was a must-have for me. We got in when a lot of the design decisions had been made, but the white subway tile in the kitchen and the floating shelves were a MUST for me. So pleased with how they turned out! :)
There you go. A little peak into our new home! Lots more to share and to come!! We just got our new dining room chairs which I am obsessedddd with, and lots more fun stuff is coming once I furnish and decorate more! Any questions, let me know!
Who’s ready to do some serious shopping?! Nordstrom Triple Points Days are here! This means you earn triple points on your purchases through May 6th! Get your next Nordstrom Note much faster! This is a great time to stock up on some wardrobe staples that you’ve had your eye on and to get a deal on items that never go on sale! Create your own deal with triple points! Soooo many great options, I narrowed down my top picks! Now… Time to convince Zack to let me have a little Mother’s Day shopping spree… ;)
To get on my email list to be the first to know about best items from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, click here and subscribe!
Shop my favorites (with tons of sale picks) below!
So sad this tank is sold out in a small, the medium (what I’m wearing here) was just a biiit too boxy for me to take home! This color is soooo pretty, though, and it comes in a blue and ivory, too! Love it. These shorts are super cute too- I already own them. Definitely stick with your regular size!
HOW adorable is this little romper?! It was so comfy too. Like pajamas. Too bad it was also wayyyyy too short and flowy to be appropriate in public for me, LOL. If you’re shorter, though, it would be SO CUTE.