It’s a tricky subject, can you be friends with your ex boyfriend or ex partner. Many relationship experts say you can, while many others say it’s just not logical. No matter who you ask about it, opinions will always be divided. This is largely because there is no general rule when it comes to keeping a friendship. It is dependent on your, your ex-boyfriend and the type of relationship you had with them.
For most people, a relationship ends and that’s the end of it. You take time to heal, to move on. Eventually, you find yourself with someone new and you practically forget about your ex altogether.
There are some situations that make that impossible. For instance, if you work with an ex or your family is close with their family. In this case, you have to learn to be civil, regardless of how the relationship ended. It won’t be easy at first, but if you can play nice, you can make it work.
There’s another layer to the situation though. For instance, if you were really close friends, you’re not just losing a partner, but something more valuable. If you were friends first, there’s a good chance you want to salvage that relationship, regardless of the fate of the romantic one.
There’s a big difference between being civil and trying to remain friends. Can you be friends with your ex boyfriend ? Perhaps…
If you want to be friends with your ex boyfriend, there are a few things you need to ask yourself:
Are there still romantic feelings between the two of you? Is there any sexual chemistry between the two of you? Are you bitter about aspects of the relationship? Are you uncomfortable talking about the issues of your now ex-relationship? Will you be uncomfortable when he starts dating someone new? Are you just trying to keep him in your life in some capacity?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions: You can’t be friends with your ex-boyfriend. If you answered “no”, there is hope.
If you genuinely enjoy the companionship of your now ex-boyfriend, it is understandable that you want to remain friends with him. However, the answers above do have to be mutual. You can’t make a friendship work if your ex-boyfriend is still hung up on you. The two of you have to agree that the romantic feelings have passed. Of course you’re still going to care about each other, but it can’t be the way two spouses would care about each other.
If you do agree that the romance is dead, but you want to remain friends, you can probably make it work. That’s not saying it’s going to be easy though. Trying to stay friends with a past lover is a learning experience. There are going to be challenges you haven’t considered. You are going to run into issues, especially at the beginning. There are going to be topics that neither of you want to discuss. There may be awkward moments. Even if you were friends before you ever started dating, you’re basically starting a new friendship. There are new boundaries to be set, especially as you both start seeing other people.
So can you be friends with your ex boyfriend ?
Yes….but it’s going to require a lot of hard work. As long as you are both willing to put in the work, you can be friends with your ex-boyfriend
One of the easiest ways to get a girl interested in you is by being interested in her. This means genuinely listening to her when she’s talking. Store information from your first conversations to bring up later. This will show her that you’re genuine about your interest in her. Compliments are another way to express your interest in someone. Avoid cliché or cheesy pick-up lines and boring physical compliments. You need to be a little more creative when it comes to complimenting. After all, she has likely heard almost everything. You want to give her a compliment she hasn’t heard yet.
Tip: Instead of saying “that dress looks good on you”, try saying “the colour of that dress really brings attention to the sparkle in your eyes”. This type of well-thought compliment can really make an impression and help you know how to get the girl.
Many dating advice blogs will tell you to play hard to get. This may get you a brief attraction, but it won’t land you a long-lasting relationship. Instead of playing hard to get, try playing the mysterious spy role (think: James Bond). This can hard, but if you do it right, you’ll be give her the impression that there is more to you than meets the eye. You’ll make her want to get to know more about you. If you don’t play the card correctly, she could think you’re a creep who is trying to hide something.
The best thing you can do to learn how to get the girl is to just be yourself. Be confident in everything you have to offer someone else. Be interesting and she will be interested in you. This may mean you need to take up a new hobby or travel to an exotic place. You want something to talk about. In fact, you want to have enough to talk about that you never find yourself faced with awkward silences. Learning how to talk to girls is a key thing here.
Your body language can drastically impact your chances of success as well. Body language ranges from the way you’re sitting to things you say or don’t say. It includes taking subtle hints from the conversation and adapting. It even includes being able to read her emotions. If you can do this, you’ll be able to play any situation to your advantage.
Now your actions and body language should always be looking to say:
“I want you, but I don’t need you. I am my own person, with my own life. Having you in my life would just make it better.”
Unfortunately, being desperate or needy will not help you know how to get the girl. Most women are looking for someone who is confident and independent. If that sounds like you, then you’re already on the right path. If your confidence is lacking, take a bit of time for yourself. Figure out what you are looking for and it’ll be much easier to find. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone!
Bonus Tip: Don’t forget that your personal hygiene plays a big role in your dating success! You should always be well-groomed with a pleasant, but not overbearing, scent. Dress for success and you’re more likely to find success!
I’m delighted to say that I’ve been included in the best dating blogs in the world by MovieHustle.
I’ve been posting dating advice, dating tips and a wide variety of dating content to my blog over the last ten years. As the UK’s leading Dating Coach I love to bring as many useful articles are possible. So it’s great to be recognised as a leader in this field.
If you have a good look at my blog, you’ll see I cover a wide variety of different subjects. There’s advice on all sorts to things such as body language, flirting, dating for single parents, the best dating apps, mastering online dating and more. If you have any questions you’d like me to answer or there’s something I’ve not covered yet then please do ask away. I’m always trying to think up new things to write about to so I’d love to hear your ideas and suggestions. I post regularly so do check back each week to find out what I’ve written for you.
You can find out more here and view the rest of the other best dating blogs in the world. There’s truly wonderful content there from lots of other dating experts. I know quite a few of them to so it’s a great honor to be featured alongside them. I’ve worked with quite a few of the experts and often collaborate. I believe that working together and teaming up can really make us able to help people more successfully. Do take a look at some of the articles they have written on such a huge number of topics. Each dating expert and dating blogger offers a different perspective, so you’ll always be able to learn something new from every article you read.
MovieHustle is an online movies site featuring regular news and gossip.
James Preece is the UK’s leading Dating Expert and has helped thousands of single people find love. He coaches clients all over the world and runs regular events and workshops. Click the link at the top of the page to contact him today. He can help turn your love life around and find clarity once and for all. Perhaps you need help to make online dating work or to make a fantastic first impression. Maybe you are nervous about meeting new people or want some advice on an existing relationship. Whatever you issue, you can bet that James will have the solution for you.
Everyone has encountered this problem at least once. For some, it’s after the first date. For others, it’s before you take the connection offline. It can be frustrating to left hanging, unsure of what caused the silence. Many people tend to jump to conclusions and even panic! While that’s not exactly helpful, it’s hard to keep your cool when you’re just looking for answers.
In the modern dating age, ghosting is common. This is when someone you’re talking to just disappears, for no reason. When they pop back into your inbox after a few days, it sends mixed signals about what’s going on. This is often because he’s keeping you as an “option” in case someone else doesn’t work out. It’s annoying to say the least. It would be nice if more people were honest and upfront, but our modern method of dating makes it too easy to play games.
Maybe he’s not interested in you and doesn’t know how to tell you.
There may also be genuine reasons he doesn’t call or text for days. If it’s unlike him to just disappear, it’s probably innocent. He could be having family issues that requires his attention. He could be on a trip in the woods and his reception isn’t great (though unlikely, it is possible). He could be extremely busy in his personal life or with work. Maybe he’s just not glued to his phone and hasn’t checked in a few days.
If he tends to disappear for a few days, it may still be innocent enough. He could be playing “hard to get” by making you wait between exchanges. This may be his way of trying to “play it cool” as well. He doesn’t want to seem overly eager, so he’s trying to space out his replies. He could also be nervous or anxious about talking to you, so it takes a while to gather his courage. There’s another complicated option to consider: He likes you, but he doesn’t really know what he’s looking for. As a result, he might keep you at a distance while he tries to figure it out for himself.
Of course, you don’t have to wait until he makes the first move.
Consider the last exchange you had with him. Did you say something open-ended that he could reply to or was it a simple message? Many guys claim they didn’t know what to say, so they didn’t bother trying to continue the conversation. If this is the case, you can test it. Try texting or calling him with a fun “getting to know you question”. Maybe ask about something he mentioned doing/enjoying. If he replies and seems interested, then it’s the conversation he got over, not you. it’s not too late to learn how to save a relationship now.
I know it can be confusing if he doesn’t call or text for days on end. Unfortunately, there is no direct way to find out if someone is genuinely interested in you or playing games. You can try calling him out, but most people get defensive and you’ll end up with no answer. The worst thing you can do in this situation is become aggressive. A string of angry and accusatory text messages won’t get you any further. You do have to give him some time to make contact.
What do you do in the meantime? Busy yourself. The worst thing you can do for your own mental health is sit around and wait for someone. Go out with your friends or take yourself out. Enjoy your life. This way, if he was playing games, you didn’t fall for it. If he was genuinely busy, you’ll get to tell him all about the things you did in between communications.
Sometimes the pattern will repeat itself. If he doesn’t call or text for days then it’s time to focus on someone who treats you with respect. Do check out my dating coaching for women package and I can help you right away.
So you would like to know how to reinvent yourself?
You aren’t the only one. Reinventing yourself starts with taking action. First, you decide that you are unhappy with the present. This could be the result of having a dead-end job or getting out of a long term relationship. Big changes in your life can leave you feeling lost or disconnected. You may just be bored with being stagnant. No matter what reason you have for wanting to see drastic change, it starts with acceptance. The next step to learn how to reinvent yourself is getting goals and creating an action plan.
An action plan for reinventing yourself is a combination of a vision board for your future and actionable goals to make those visions a reality. That means you need to decide what you want in your life. Start by evaluating the present. What do you like/dislike about your life? What do you want to change? What would you like to keep the same? If you’re unhappy with your job or life purpose, figure out what you could be doing to feel accomplished. This is the perfect time to consider a career change. If you don’t have the skills for the job you want, it’s also the perfect time to learn them. Build on your current strengths. If you don’t know what they are, time to figure it out! This is where taking action comes into the picture.
When you know what would make your life meaningful, you are one step closer to a meaningful life. Many people search for “purpose”, yet don’t know what would bring them a feeling of accomplishment. Your purpose starts with something you are passionate about. If you’re unsure of your purpose or passions, there are a few things you can do, such as:
Volunteer your time to a worthy cause Get creative and make some meaningful art Network with other people in similar situations Consult a life coach for guidance
One thing you need to understand about learning how to reinvent yourself is that it’s an ongoing process. You will always be evolving as a human being. You are a never-ending project. You’re going to make mistakes along the way because everyone does. You can turn any “mistake” into an experience filled with lessons, ripe for the picking. Every time you learn something new, you’re impacting the type of person you’re going to become. That’s a good thing, because it means you can add and subtract as needed. If there are things you want to change today, do it. If there is something you want to start doing, go for it. The only true limitation you face is yourself. At the same time, it also means you need to surround yourself with people/places/things that line up with your ideals for a future you. For example: If you want to be a more positive person, you shouldn’t hang around people who are negative. You have to adapt your surroundings, habits, and even lifestyle choices to fit your future vision.
Everyone who starts on a journey to learn how to reinvent yourself feels like giving up at some point. Again, it’s a process. It’s not always easy, but if you’re resilient and work hard, it will be worth the outcome. Imagine waking up every morning excited for the day ahead. It can be a reality as long as you’re willing to work for it. If you do find yourself stuck, make sure you seek out support. This could be a friend, family member or a confidence coach . Stay the course, no matter how tough it seems.
Dating is like an intricate dance, with weaving and twirling. You go left and she goes right. You come together in the middle and spin. One wrong step and the beautiful dance turns into a messy disaster. Instead of guessing which direction to take, it’s better to follow her lead. How? Well, here are a few ways to learn how to tell if a woman is attracted to you:
When a woman is interested in someone, she tends to be conversational. She also tends to laugh at almost everything you’re saying. When she talks, she’ll ask you personal questions about the things you’re interested in (eg: hobbies). She’ll ask about your work. She’ll always be looking for ways to continue the conversation. This is because she’s enjoying spending time with you. You may also notice that her pitch lowers when she’s talking to you. A woman slightly lowers her pitch when she’s speaking to someone she’s interested in. If she asks about any plans you have in the future or mentions specific plans of hers, she may be hinting towards a date. A few examples of this are:
“Are you planning to see x movie that just hit theatres?” “I’ve heard about this sushi bar that just opened and I’ve been wanting to try it.”
Many women exhibit subtle signs of flirting by making innocent contact. This could be brushing your leg with hers when you’re sitting beside each other. She could touch your arm frequently. She may even reach for your hand or playfully tap your shoulder. Don’t only rely on physical contact with you to determine her interest. She could twirl her hair or run her hands through her hair. She could be caressing something in her hand. She could be touching her legs frequently. These may all be signs that she’s attracted to you, but hesitant to make physical contact.
Pay attention to the direction her body/feet are pointing. If they are pointed directly at you, it’s because she’s comfortable where she is. If she’s pointing towards an exit, she’s not interested and she’s looking for a way out. Another sign to look for is her stance. If her legs are crossed, she’s signalling her lack of interest. If her legs are uncrossed, she’s likely expressing her attraction.
There are other ways you might know a woman is attracted to you, such as eye contact. Most people know that intense eye contact is used to express attraction or intimidation. If she’s blushing, she’s likely attracted to you. Many women also use less-subtle methods of signalling attraction, such as licking their lips or tilting their head to expose their neck.
Of course, some women are just expressive and others don’t know social boundaries. It can be hard to know how to tell if a woman is attracted to you or just being friendly. I’ve been a Dating Coach for Women for years and I often have to explain what they are doing wrong.
It should go without saying that all of these signs need to be put into context. If she’s only exhibiting one or two of these signs, she may not be interested in you. She could be twirling her hair around because she’s uncomfortable. She could be licking her lips because she has dry skin. You don’t want to assume she’s attracted to you. The best way to know how to tell if a woman is attracted to you is to ask her.
Exciting news! To celebrate World Book Day I’m delighted to bring you my NEW How to Talk to Girls Book
I’ve written many dating books over the years and this is my latest. This How to Talk to Girls Book is for every male who wants to have better relationships with women. Once you’ve read it then you’ll feel instantly more confident approaching, communicating and talking to women. Your conversations will be so much more meaningful and you’ll be able to attract the relationship you’ve always wanted.
Here is a summary of what my new dating book is all about:
How to Talk to Girls Book : Become a Super Flirt and Start a Conversation with Anyone
Have you ever felt like you weren’t being noticed enough by women on a night out?
I was always fascinated by the science of attraction and dating. After so many years of looking into the laws of attraction, I figured I’d share some of it with the world as I noticed so much bad advice being shared freely by people with no idea on the subject.
This handy manual for men, divided into easily readable chapters, will tell you about what mindset you MUST have in order to have that success you’ve always wanted.
Learn about key elements that will elevate you in women’s eyes, including how to fake it until you make it, learning the art of mirroring and how to pay attention to pacing.
You may be asking yourself, why would you need a manual for dating and learning to flirt with women?
It’s simple, and you probably realise this already, the simple truth is that many men in our day and age have forgotten their natural role in society and what rediscovering their manhood can actually do for them.
This book aims to save your time and energy. You will learn about the deadly sins that you should NEVER do, and once you realise what they are, you will never repeat them again, putting you ahead of the competition.
If you want to do things the right way don’t wait a second more, GET IN THERE!
I sincerely hope you will enjoy what is a first in a long line of manuals I’m developing based on actual experience. I hope my books will shed a light on an important subject of this modern day and age and I will just say this, get ready for some real action.
If you’d like to buy my new How to Talk To Girls Book then do click on the links below. If you enjoy it then please do add a review.
Back in the day, it was traditional for a man to bring a woman flowers on the first date. This was seen as a beautiful gesture that showed the woman he was interested in her. Flowers were expensive, even today they can burn a hole in your wallet. It was flattering to be spoiled in that manner. In the modern age, that sentiment has gone the way of the winds.
To put it in the most simple terms: Never bring someone flowers on a first date.
This out-dated tradition of colourful foliage upon a first meeting is no longer seen as flattering. Many women believe it to come across as desperate and even a little creepy. Flowers on first dates make you seem like you’re trying entirely too hard to be liked. Your date will immediately think “what’s wrong with him?” because it is seen as such a strange action. Trust me, I’ve been a Dating Coach for Men for 15 years so I know what to do!
Imagine meeting someone at a coffee shop with a bright bouquet of flowers. Now imagine where those flowers are going to sit throughout the date. Now imagine your date has to get on a bus or ride her bike home. How is she going to carry those flowers everywhere? Flowers are just obtrusive when you’re getting to know someone.
Give Flowers on a First Date
Yes, women still love flowers. But it’s a gesture that should be kept for the third or fourth date. This way, you know more about her and what she likes. She may be allergic to flowers or have pets/children in the house that might eat the flowers and fall ill. By waiting to give her flowers, you have the opportunity to find out this information. Ideally, you should only bring flowers when you’re picking her up at her house. This way, she has the ability to put them away as well.
Flowers on First Date – or another gift?
Most people don’t consider these issues when they think about making a good first impression. Of course, there are other ways to make a good impression on the first date, but flowers aren’t on the list. The best gift for a first date is something small and inexpensive. It should be something she’s already shown an interest in. A quick look on her Facebook or Instagram should give you a hint about what she likes. You’ll get bonus points if your gift references any previous conversation you’ve had. This is because it shows you pay attention and that you’re not playing games.
If you really want to seem charming like the men in the movies with flowers, there are two ways to make that impact. Your first option is choosing a single flower in a self-contained tube of water. These are often sold at flower shops, so they aren’t speciality. They are easier to carry around than a bouquet. If you want the charm without the creep, make sure you have a good sense of humour about the cliche gesture. The second option is buying her a fake flower. You don’t want a bottom of the barrel flower that will make her feel cheap, but a nice fake flower is still less expensive than a real one. You’ll get the same impact, the same look, without any of the complications that come from real flowers.
It’s always better to play it safe than to take unnecessary risks in the dating world. Hold off on buying a botanical garden. Show up to your date armed with only your sense of hum or and your wallet.
The world is filled with single people, looking for love or someone to spend the night with. Why can’t you find one of those people? If you’ve been frequenting bars and nightclubs trying to meet someone, that’s why. Many people in that scene are just having a good time. If you really want to meet black women in London, you have to know where to look!
Singles Events to Meet Black Women in London
There are many parties held for single individuals throughout London. If you are interested, you can sign up to join one of these parties and meet new people. These are often held by dating agencies to encourage organic interactions. It doesn’t hurt to look into. Alternatively, you can always frequent “singles night” at different locations. This is common at bars, but there are bound to be other locations that cater to making introductions.
If you feel pressured by attending a singles event, try a generic group gathering (eg: office party, birthday party, concert, celebration, sporting event). Social gatherings are ideal because there is no pressure and an alternate point of focus (birthday, socialising, good food, etc). This allows you to feel more comfortable and approach people more naturally. Many single women also feel uncomfortable going out alone. As a result, they favour group gatherings. If a woman is single and interested in meeting someone, you are likely to find her looking around.
Many people feel awkward about approaching someone in public. However, if you know how to read the room, you’ll be able to approach anyone who interests you. Cafes are a great place to meet people you wouldn’t find in large gatherings. Wine bars are a good alternative to the typical nightclub. Jazz clubs are better than loud music. Most quiet places are more intimate and allow for conversation.
When you’re looking to meet black women in London, the trick is to be easy to find. No one is going to see you and fall in love if you’re sitting at home. That means you have to put yourself out there. You don’t have to go to events for singles or even gatherings. Instead, just do more of what you already enjoy doing. Whether it’s sports, concerts or even dining out. The best way to meet someone is doing something organic. If you’re not the type of get out much, try signing up for a cooking class or something. Find a way to put yourself out there and expand your mind at the same time!
Of course, you can meet women online too. There are many dating websites and applications for your phone that can help you to meet someone. The internet has helped people to connect for years. In London, there are several dating websites that even cater to specific ideals/quirks. These are called niche dating websites. You can look up something you’re interested in and see what London has to offer. You can also visit www.onlinedaterbase.com to see who is single right now.
Depending who you talk to, Instagram dating is the wave of the future. To many, it provides easy topics of conversation because you can message someone after they’ve made a post. This is less creepy than messaging someone at random without any reason. Instagram also provides you the ability to get to know someone before you even message them. You can see the types of things they are interested in and what kind of person they are. The hashtags they use on their posts can really shed light on their personality. Unlike a dating profile, which is on display solely to attract someone, Instagram is more realistic. You see the different aspects of someone, especially if you’re watching their stories.
However, not everyone is convinced that Instagram dating is a good idea. Several people think it’s creepy. So, before you start sending out messages, make sure you familiarize yourself with these tips for how to get a date on Instagram:
The first thing you want to do is start building familiarity with the person you’re interested in. You can do this by following them, liking their posts, and leaving engaging comments. This way, when you so send them a message, it won’t seem “out of the blue”. This tactic will work the best if the person interacts back with you. Watch and see if they like any of your posts in return. If they aren’t following you and don’t engage with your posts, sending a message is likely a waste of time.
Use The Platform
What is the biggest difference between a dating website and Instagram? Instagram posts aren’t meant to attract a date. People post on Instagram with things they enjoy, quotes that inspire them and pictures of the things they are doing. Of course, there’s a fair amount of selfies too. You can use this platform to your advantage by getting to know the person you’re interested in. Browse their posts, see what they like and what their hobbies are. This is a crucial tool for sending that first message.
No one likes pick-up lines. Seriously. Instead of crafting a smooth pick-up line, choose personal details. Those hobbies you noted are now going to come in handy. You can invite your Instagram crush out to do something you already know they enjoy. This will make them more likely to say yes to a date. Remember: You can always use compliments, but flattery won’t get you everywhere. Especially if you’re only commenting on physical appearance. If you want to learn how to get a date on Instagram then keep things nice and light.
No matter how awesome your message is, you’re going to be completely overlooked if your profile is lackluster. If you don’t have interesting pictures or your profile picture isn’t of your face, it’s unlikely that someone will respond to you. You have to make sure that you look appealing to the person you’re trying to attract. This isn’t hard, either. You don’t have to be a professional photographer to land amazing photographs of yourself and you don’t want too many selfies on your page, either. A few well-lit pictures scattered around is all you need. Next, be interesting. Take interesting pictures and post in moderation. No one likes an Instagram account that posts 5+ times a day and that includes Instagram stories!
The Green Light
All of the methods above are useful when you’re not sure. But there is also an automatic “green light” on Instagram and it’s called Stories. If someone you’re following posts a proactive picture to their story, it’s a green light. You can send them a message and they are going to be receptive. These photos are called “thirst traps”, which means they are posted with the intention of attracting you. Often times, these photos are only visible to a select list of people.
Hopefully you now know how to date on instagram successfully. If not, do book a dating coaching session with me!