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Many of us including myself set unrealistic expectations of our friends, this needs to change. As we get older we need to understand that people change and also friends may need to be loyal to others first before you. From what I've seen and experienced I've realised that no one owes anyone anything, and constantly expecting people to not let you down will only build up an unrealistic expectation of someone who is most definitely going to let you down. A lot of this expectation stems from ourselves projecting our self beliefs on others. For example; seeing a friend and they didn't say hello to you. Immediately you'll assume that the person ignored you, or you now have to cut that person off because they didn't acknowledge you. The interesting thing here is that you assumed all of this but you never stopped it think to check on the person to see if they are okay? A lot of today's society is based on us constantly thinking about ourselves which intern is making us more selfish than ever. Tencey mentioned to me the other day "People have an issue with doing the things that are free for example giving, giving is free but people don't like to give" I found it interesting and agreed straight away because it's true. Friendships, relationships etc should always be a two way street they say, but at the same time you should always be prepared to give and be selfless at the same time you need to be careful to not be taken advantage of. In my faith it has this to say about relying/trusting in humans “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord" also "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" These two things strike me as very important in life regardless of your belief. We understand that too much trust without due diligence is dangerous, when you trust someone fully you are indirectly relying on them in a way. The latter quote is that the heart itself can be an uncontrollable force and it can think for itself and show your real intentions. Meaning not all your "friends" are well wishers so betrayal is inevitable with some people. I've been told in Islam even your own parent hearing good news about you if they have one piece of "hate" so to say it could destroy your plans. This leads me to know that again regardless of your religion or beliefs it is very possible for any human to fail you, so you should always look out for the signs and try to be cautious with your trust and your ability to rely on others. All in all what I am saying is you should always have your own back, and quite simply put the less expectations of humans you have the better not saying that you should expect it, but being aware of it alone can cushion the pain when people hurt you. You should also be mindful and try to deter yourself from people if you feel they are not good for you because your gut always knows.
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So I'm still struggling to understand why schools don't want to teach students about money? Is money a taboo? If you say it three times will something scary appear? I've seen recently that schools are planning to teach kids as young as 5 years old about sexuality and relationships. Let me get this straight, so you are telling me my niece could be learning about sexuality but not learning about how to make money or maybe understand how money works? How does that make sense? I recently recorded a podcast on parenting mainly fatherhood and at the end we had a discussion about money. I noticed that things that other races tend to talk about; things such as taxes, handling money in a company business account or even things like credit, is not explained. I mean I have seen people take out credit cards with crazy interest to pay debts that puts them in further debt now because the interest rate supersedes what they even owed in the first place. Fun fact: did you know that the amount of personal good debt you are allowed to have is in the region of £50 million. That's interesting isn't it. From what I've seen the whole educational system prepares you to not take risks, make any mistakes and work for someone ideally meaning playing it safe. I personally think schools should be teaching these kids how to handle money from a very young age even simple things like acquiring assets over liabilities, I think it's more important now because of social media people are spending what they don't have and if they carry on teaching this employee mindset people will forever be a slave to their job and not be able to save anything because their money is going towards depreciating assets. The school system itself is quite confusing how can you teach about subjects you don't practice yourself for example my business teacher has never owned a business in their life but they are qualified to teach. I'm guessing they are just teaching the basics if that's the case. Did you know that corporations spend billions advertising to-you guessed it-the young people? The increase in young people applying for credit cards to "keep up" is scary. Credit cards are supposed to be used to increase your profit margins not buy the latest handbag. Quick scenario let's say you had a credit card that has £250 on it and your monthly bills were £500 for example you could use your credit card to pay half then use the other 250 out of your 500 to pay the rest of your bills and pay the 250 back onto your credit card this helps to increase credit. Another scenario is let's say for example you brought a car on your credit card for £1000 and you sold the card for £1250 you pay back the £1000 and keep the 250 you have just made 250 without spending any of your own money what do you think happens next, the company will see this type of activity and look to increase your credit limit. I've all that to say through out my life I've never learnt about money. I have only started learning this year but definitely have a lot more to learn, but just from what I know now I have been able to change a lot of things in my life. Some learnt quicker than other but all depends on influence hence why I insist that it starts in school. But I guess it won't happen because schools are government run and companies need workers to fund their ideas, but I am hopeful that it will be taught someday and also remember to opt out of the teaching of sexuality and relationship teaching to 5 year old's it makes no sense. I mean feel free to share your ideas on this because I'm still very confused to how schools are not teaching this debt is going up everyday but yeah lol see you later. #Money #Kids #School #Government
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Hey Hello! :) It's me and its been a while, but I'm here! It's definitely been a rough week or so for me so I thought I'd come on here and exhale. A bit of background about myself: I could be called Madam-DIY, cause that's all I've mainly done most of my life. I work hard. Get Results. Celebrate. And then repeat the process. On top of this I believe I have been gifted with natural academic excellence. I don't need to work too hard to produce slightly above average results, so you can only imagine when I actually do put in the work! This cycle has been my primary core for the past 8 or 9 years now and I must say it has never let me down as the results speak for themselves! I am a fresh graduate in BA Advertising and Marketing Communications. First Class. -I love saying this, makes me sound super serious! However, from getting the award of my awesome grade all the way to this blog post, it has been far from an easy, golden, well-deserved path of glory, and I feel like there are things that people who are currently in university, as well and those who have just graduated/about to graduate and also those who didn't go to uni at all, but are becoming of an age in which forces independence, should benefit from knowing. I really thought with the ending (or pausing... for a good while), of my educational journey, and on such a high, I'd have opportunities at my feet! I can chill out for a bit! I can live my best life and see my friends and just simply have fun. But boy did I and still do have a lot to learn about the life of an adult. As I sit here at my work desk and reflect on the past six months in full time employment, and the past 9 months of life as a post graduate, I thought I would share with you 10 Simple facts-yes FACTS-that you must make yourself aware of to dodge the bitch slap that adulthood has in store for you. 1. Life does not stop! No! It does not stop, pause or jump. It just goes on. And the well earned rest you feel entitled to may become anguish to continue to burn even if you are all burnt out! Take the time to acknowledge this. Pace yourself and give yourself the opportunity to relish in your achievements! But never loose your eye from the ultimate goal. Understand that you have completed a fraction of your huge goal and take some time out to prepare for the next stage. Don't just let go complete or you'll find that it is harder to get back on your feet to continue the race! 2. Unemployment: Do not fear it! The source of Depression! You've graduated! three long years of blood sweat and tears! You've gone back and forth with your careers department! You. Are. READY. Except... you're not. Well thats what the workforce thinks cause you've got no experience what so ever in whatever you graduated in... I think the main blow to my adult life was the lack of job roles in relation to my course and it did really discourage me in general. It made me question my time and energy I had spent at university and whether it was worth while. You must understand that it is acceptable to be unemployed post university, especially if you are looking for a specialised role. But we know it is also hard to feel at peace when you don't know when you'll next get to spend comfortably. 3. Your emotions Matter too! It's okay to feel un sure of yourself, YOU ARE CHANGING. You are in the midst of getting to know adult you! In some cases this person is a complete stranger waiting to be uncovered of all their values, belief, likes and dislikes. Given situations will pass your way, problems you are yet to experience which means you may not no how to approach them. Make sure you are talking to someone, anyone. Log down your feelings if you feel it a burden. Reflect on how you felt and why. Laugh and then cry straight after, I can promise you, its normal. But do not neglect your feeling, this would mean you are ultimately neglecting your say over yourself, and if you don't have a say over you, then who actually does? 4. Start as soon as you can! Honestly guys if I knew what I know today... lol it's such a generic saying but the amount of prepping I would have done! Especially to avoid the dark spin cycle of "you need experience for a job but you need a job for experience..." If you've decided to begin your path to adulthood without uni, I'd advise you to get your hands messy in CV writing and all kinds of diverse roles! Just so you have a few open doors to experiment with! 5. Financial Literacy can save your life! Unfortunately, our educational system does not inform us on how to use your money once you do get the money. Knowing about how to spend wisely is very important and can really grow to be an asset within your life. Skills such as book keeping is something Jones already has, or is about to post about what education does not teach about money... you may want to check it out, it's a good place to start! 6. Your life has shifted. So will your friends. I means this in two ways, your friend circle will shift and you must consider that your friends lives have also shifted too! By going to the same place everyday (school uni) it is inevitable that we will eventually make acquaintances and even friends, I mean the basic common ground is that you all end up in the same room 3-4 times weekly. But what happens once the binding rule disappears and it is now down to yourselves to make the meetings and the phone calls? You may find that some 'friends' barely call or just don't call at all. And thats okay! Instead on focusing where it's all gone wrong, I advise that you nurture those who are making the same effort you may be. You must also take in to consideration the changes that your friends may be going through! Life comes fast sometimes and you just never know the reason behind a friends behaviour or distance. Babies, death, marriages, career progression; paths my split and come back, just walk with an open mind and you'll be okay. 7. An open mind absorbs shock. lol Speaking of the devil... you will meet and encounter people and situations that you may find challenging. You may feel threatened, overwhelmed and damn right confused. But I can promise you, unless you just have shit luck, no body is going out of their way to offend you in any way. I live in London which a furnace for multi cultures. People have come from different backgrounds and walks of life and sometimes I find it impossible to understand a point of view I have never experienced myself. Being open mined allows you to see things from a different perspective. Put it this way, unless the person is a compulsive liar, this is sometime that they honestly have been through/done! Who are you to cancel it. It exists! 8. Just because it looks so on social media, it does not mean it is so! I've seen first hand the trouble this causes when someone is really getting carried away with what social accounts are portraying to acquaintances. Social media breaks should be welcomed in your agenda. Take a week, a month just as long as you need to refocus on yourself, your current placement and your goal. Make your you feed aspects of your social life in moderation. There is nothing particularly wrong with having a social media account and admiring photos, but learn to separate this from an actual lifestyle, that the user may not be living. Too much of one thing can bad for you! 9. Worrying is for losers! Honestly, with all of this up in the air you have two options! 1. put your head in the sand and drown in Anxiety 2.Transform with the times and embrace every given opportunity, even if the primary view is a burden! I'd like to think that you were more drawn to the second option. Now I know its not easy, but if you put into practice and acknowledge a few of the facts I have mentioned, you will be well on your way to worrying less and seeing the good in a less favoured situation! 10. Look after your spirit and your body will follow. This is something I am currently struggling with. Many people reckon, as did I, that it's now time to reward yourself, go out, have fun, spend and travel. But if this is not nourishing your spirit you are basically walking up an escalator that is moving down. Going no where! Please don't make the ignorant choice of just thinking of religion for this last FACT. I am sure that we can all agree that there is more to us than our flesh. You could be doing everything as right as rain for your body to thrive but still feel... incomplete... I am here to tell you this is the feeling that your spirit/soul is communicating to you with the hope of attention and nourishment. Read a liberating book, meditate, go for a walk, exercise find a video and laugh your head off at it, and don't forget to talk to those around you. 9 times out of 10 your not alone!
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For as long as I can remember, people have come to me for relationship/partner advice and recently its gotten very intense. I genuinely like to help people. I definitely have quite a bit of experience in this field so I just help where I can. After doing some research I wrote down the chapters of the book; without knowing it was going to be the book. At the time the idea was sparked from a SnapChat rant. After thinking about it for a little while; I decided f*** it and wrote the book. It took me about 3 and a half days. I was so passionate about this subject I couldn't stop writing; now we have my first masterpiece! Considering I don't like writing and all that I think I have found a new passion for this. I enjoy the feeling of being in the writer zone, something about it grips and engages me... This is also some form of therapy for me; an outlet of some sort. Now the book is out and I mean before I hit publish; I was shaking a little but not from nerves, more from excitement; the adrenaline rush of actually releasing a book on a subject that I rant quite frequently about. I tend to talk on this quite often, I could never fully describe the felling to you but, I must tell you; it's a feeling like no other. Also for me to write a book is definitely one of my biggest accomplishments to date I didn't even see this coming. The book is out on all platforms: Amazon, Apple, Barnes and Noble and all other major eBook platforms. Most importantly its available on this website from the Home page if you click on the menu option; click on shop you'll be able to purchase it from there for only £2.99-less than a cheeky Nandos. F eel free to leave a review and let me know your thoughts on it. :) https://www.hsss.blog/product-page/qualities-of-ah-good-woman-the-mantra
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I asked my mum last night the process of living with/being with my partner. Well actually I said to her: 'As you know mum, I'm in a relationship and have been for a while now. I'm sure you've also noticed I'm barely home... because of this; I was wondering if you would be open to him visiting every now and then, which means I'd spend more time in the house instead of you complaining that all I do is come back home in the night and sleep.' This was her detailed response, translated from her mother tongue; 'I cannot allow this, you know what our culture states. You shouldn't be in each others house without being married. if you get married or move out or do both then I have nothing to say, but under my roof like this, its not happening. I don't want to hear this type of conversation as I cannot do anything about it unless you are talking about marriage. At least begin the process of getting married and then it all may be looked upon a little differently.' By this she meant 'get the damn Bride Price underway!' Bride price, I guess is similar to a Dowry. Maybe its referred to as a different word in different regions. For point of info, a Dowry is a list containing the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband or his family in marriage. Most common in cultures that are strongly patrilineal and that expect women to reside with or near their husband’s family (patrilocality), dowries have a long history in Europe, South Asia, Africa, and other parts of the world So basically, for me to be taken seriously on any conversation about a partner, they must marry me. Cultural reasons state this marriage requires a list of things to be bought and given to my family. From this, all I hear is MONEY. The conversation began to become tedious as the circling points of not having the finances to get married at the moment, but knowing deep down that this is truly the person I want to be around, to the point that my own mother could count on one hand how many hours she physically sees me on a weekly basis which didn't mean anything cause we're not married, but we can't at the moment as we don't have the finances but we....-you get the circle? Eventually I got tired of speaking with reason and retreated to sulk in my bedroom. As a young African girl, brought up in the UK with traditional (where they see fit) parents, it finally clicked in my head, that because of this 'culture' my mum has invested her life and soul into, I am unable to share a transparent relationship. With the one woman in my life who should be there to protect me from all. Don't get me wrong, we were clothed and bathed and fed, up to about the age of 18, but I can go as far as to say, because of this 'culture', emotionally, there has been negligence. With no one to talk to about boys, men, boyfriends, serious men; I have developed my view on the opposite sex with trial and error. This has made me and even my sisters, reluctant to even disclose personal information about ourselves. Because according to our 'culture' this is wrong. How am I to marry without my potential gelling with my family? Is this not a necessity? Are my parents not concerned about what I am doing with my life emotionally and sexually until they see a hand written letter asking for my hand in marriage? Until they see a dowry and money awaiting exchange? Cause the funny thing is, if this man asks for my hand in marriage, this is when the question time will commence. To be frank I'd be in the right frame of mind to tell every family member to shove it right up their arse and back out there mouth-parents included. So many questions ran through my head as I lay in bed, then it also came to me, that if black women are classed as angry. This has to be one of the reasons! Who do we have to talk to during heart break when 'culture' says nothing about boyfriends, just to marry and move out. Then you can see your partner all you want. Who do we have for reassurance during our teenage years when the world questions our beauty? or displays the wrong things to do with our new-found sexuality? On top of this, there are so many people who feel entitled to us satisfying the standards they have for us. From our parents wanting us to achieve academically, to the media backed up by men telling us how we should look, to our fellow feminists encouraging us to be a boss bitch in practically everything we do. Surely someone is going to get 'disappointed'. I use this term loosely cause IDGAF what people have to say about me personally. We are pass the time that men must prove they are able to look after there wife and children. We live in a world that women are able to fend for themselves and bring more to the table than homemaking. It's a world where we promote 50/50 input between men and women-where we see fit. For me to approach my parent with the talk of a person who I find is serious to get shut down... won't it just stop me from ever approaching her again? I mean its evident the lack of trust we have in our relationship-probably down to the negligence of emotional care; if she knew me, she'd know that telling anyone about a serious person for me must mean it's truly the real deal. It's a little heart breaking how women are looked upon throughout the many different cultures in Africa. I do not speak as a feminist but simply as a human being with thoughts and ideas and stresses, just like every other person. Male or female. Maybe I'm a 'Humanist'. I feel like I could really go into many different subjects regarding the suppression of women but I've decided let me split it up, just so I can really go into depth when it's time to. As for this subject... Bride Price... I understand it to a degree, but refuse to not be taken seriously until it happens. I guess I'll just stick to my business being my business, and it's my mothers loss and not mine. I had never been so frustrated by my parent... No, I take that back she's done worse. lol... If anyone has a different perspective or has a similar view to my mothers, sound off below! #blackculture #blacklove #marriage #brideprice #female #relationships #culture #family
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Seriously, why is everyone always in the Netherlands between the first three months of the year? I mean, when I think of a holiday, I think of sun, sea and good cocktails. Not a cold ass city in the same continent as us. Nether the less, that's where we're off to! For the first time abroad together in 2019, we chose to drive-yes. DRIVE. To the Netherlands! We got up super early to catch the train (Euro Tunnel) or let me get my french on (El Shuttle) very nice lol, but yeah we got on that. I seem to make this mistake all the time but then again I feel like Waze needs an update. Why does it keep taking me to the ferry bit when I want to go to the train bit? I don't know who to blame; them or the company? Because I didn't pick the postcode out of midair did I? Smh, but we digress. When we go to Calais Tencey was awake but asleep. Lol I had never seen someone so still with their eyes open! I was blasting music and dancing down the motorway and this girl didn't flinch or sing along once until it was about 8 or 9, when she had to start her day to make some important phone calls lol. So we're cruising then a 'Poltie' (police/fed) decided to pull out in front of me. He almost crashed into about 3 cars just to pull us over lol. We started dancing on the motorway together and he finally got my attention after all of that. To be honest, I half knew he was going to stop me... but at the same time I didn't think it was for me because it was clearly his mistake. So he stopped me and literally asked for my whole life (passport, driving license and log book). I'm even wondering why he asked for my log book and passport because how would I get here without that I went through border force? And after all that, he came back and let me go because he couldn't gauge my speed which was actually speed limit... when he actually got to stop me. -pls lol Tencey. We kindly asked him to put us back on route the guy then said I see you got ah sat nav, I felt to say well I WANT AH POLICE ESCORT TO AMSTERDAM NOW BXTCH, but Tencey handled it very well better than I would have. We finally got to Amsterdam and by this time I was gassed n charged! We hit up Moak Pancakes. What a good place to start our lil getaway. It was proper good service, we were sat promptly and the food came in reasonable timing. The food itself was great. I went for the simple Pancakes with strawberries and syrup where as Tencey got a little creative and went for a savoury dish with onions and cheese and bacon and all that jazz. The dutch in the city actually speak very good english tbh so its easy to get around and get things done cause someone is always there to help. I could say there english may have been even better than mine which I shouldn't even be proud to say. I do wanna learn all these languages, but can't I be bothered. After the pancakes it was time to check in to XO hotels. To be very real this hotel is sick I'm a real hotel/apartment critique it has to be proper or I ain't staying. The toilet/bathroom has to cut it. Not going to stay in a hotel that doesn't cut the standard! It was very nice and not far from the city shenanigans.Their customer service was top-notch and great value for money! I then decided that instead of staying the hotel we were going to do something fun. What is that I hear you asking yourself? I don't think you'll guess this one, but we decided to go go-karting at race planet. Its a huge indoor go-kart course not so far from the hotel. We got there and it was like an arcade, go karting, paint ballin & restaurant type of place, not bad. We had a lil wait which is understandable mainly because I never booked in advance. and One thing that you'll probably get to understand about me is I have this whole rich people mentality I don't know where it came from but I be feeling really entitled! We then proceeded onto the track, I mean for those that know me you already know what I did on that track baby! But for those that don't when you hear this you'll probably think if you was here you would beat me lol but I lapped this girl like 3/4 times, I even had time to do extra laps. I'm not sure where the pictures of the laps is but it better be at the bottom of this blog so you know that I'm serious! If you wanna challenge me feel free to come and race with me with a lil wager lol. After the go-karting we decided to carry on with our night and find something to eat. This was meant to be a simple task which ended up being a very complicated one. We went somewhere called Cafe de Klos first which was packed but the food looked good! They offered us a 1-hour wait which was not going to happen boy. We made our minds up to go somewhere else, we then forwarded to Bull & Dog; I didn't expect it, they brought out these milkshakes and when I tell you they were diabetes it's not ah joke! I don't think I finished mine but I tell you now if I lived in Amsterdam-that would be my spot boy! It was a tiring first day considering our trip there, the activities then the food we was fully finished so it was time to go to sleep and rest up for the next day ahead. Day 2 We got up and started off our day with Omlegg which was recommended to me by a new friend. The experience there was almost like old school but new school-ish. I don't know how to explain... almost like something out of Gulliver's travels. Proper like vikings era. The food was really nice and it also had a fresh taste and feel to it . I'm not one for bread, especially brown bread, but I had some there decided to take the healthy approach. After phase one of the day was done it was time to shop and where we went was like the central bit of Amsterdam I'm not quite sure but for argument’ sake let's say it is ?!?! Lol. The first shop we went to was like a Selfridges, but they swore blind it weren't. I hear copycat... but hey lol is what it is. After we went to a few local shops; Chasin' being my favourite shop out there to be honest. I like what the brand stands for and represents through the words on the clothing "Chasin never stop" which speaks volumes to me. We then we done some miscellaneous shopping where I became Tencey's personal stylist and hanger for the rest of the shopping trip. Forgot to mention during the shopping trip we definitely took some time to do a lil photo shoot we had quite a few dotted around the city. After the shopping trip was over we proceeded to Rotterdam. I was quite excited as I have never been there before also I haven't heard much about it and I couldn't find much to do there, so I was little nervous but who better to go with but Tencey she's too litt, so I knew either way I would have a good time. We drove for about 40 mins or so-smooth ride. My first reaction of the city was hmm this place looks like the ends but then driving more in I was like woah! This place looks way better than Amsterdam! Why don't people come here? Tencey had a lot to say about Rotterdam started telling me about their history at this time I was way too excited to listen but briefly I heard the city is very young and went through a great ordeal but for them to bounce back the way they did is actually a huge accomplishment. Well done to them. Once we got there we checked into our apartment at Premier Suites which was also quite nice. The bathroom was smaller though they also called it an open-plan apartment, I don't know why they abuse this word but not to take too much out from the apartment it was definitely a good-looking apartment right opposite the central station. The apartment had a beautiful view that I could stare out of for a while, while I was staring out the window I found my home favourite staring at me, Vapianos so you know we had to slide! It was just like the Vapianos in Waterloo, packed and buzzing with chatter unfortunately for us our chef was 10 times slower than his fellow chefs. We watched people come in after us get their food before us while staring at our chef like 'hey we're right here are you going to feed us?!' We finally got our food but I wasn't as hungry as Tencey. Nonetheless, I made it work. We then went back to the apartment and at this point, Tence had exhausted all her energy and took a well-deserved nap for about three hours. These were the longest three hours of my life! Trying to find something to do later I looked around the whole of Rotterdam only to find a roof top bar right opposite us! When we finally got ready and got there I was already excited hearing the music I thought I was in for a treat. We got in some olden style lift, for a city that was meant to be modern I was quite confused but anyway, we got in this lift and the club it weren't bad. Had a lil vibe. We went straight to ordering drinks. Tencey then got into her element with the dancing I'm actually waiting to see if she's going to upload the videos as I'm sure a lot of you would love to see the show. She also made some new friends while I got litt but in my corner. I don't dance for those that know me for those that don't know I still don't dance lol but yeah it's safe to safe it was a litt first night in Rotterdam. Day 3 It's now Saturday morning and at this point, after drinking a lot the night before, I was fairly sober to be honest since I don't get hungover I was good to go. Tence on the other hand... not sure I can say the same. So luckily for me I had a few things in my suitcase that I could use for the gym, I also brought a T-shirt the day before as the Vapianos was located inside a little shopping centre which had like a high street next door . I was ready to go! The benefit of driving is I always have my gym gloves inside the car, so I done a little jog over to the car, got my gloves then went to get these gains at the gym. Shortly after Tencey messaged me after she woke up asking to come and join me I said why not let's get it she went and done the laundry then came down. I could see she was struggling after a while, so I said you know what let's go find something to eat to my surprise she had a place in mind, so we drove down and gave it a shot looked a little bit like breakfast... oh forgive me the place was called Lilith. The restaurant had quite a pleasant and welcoming vibe. One thing I do like about the dutch is they're quite friendly and no one is in your business. They are quite helpful, I recall the waitress giving Tencey the anecdote to her hang over which was advil. To be quite frank I've never seen or had this before but I remember Jay Z's lyrics "Sunglasses and Advil Last night was mad real" I do recall myself reciting this all the way to the pharmacy. Lilith served us some pancakes I took mine with cherries and syrup which was quite the treat. We then carried on with our day and proceeding to put our tourist hats on. We visited a place called Markthal, it's a shopping centre/ market that people live on top of. I was so confused, imagine living on top of east street market or borough market. That's so crazy! I can't imagine it personally but it's a real thing in Rotterdam. I was under the impression that we would have to travel to see all the tourist attractions but it seems that they were all located in one place. The big whee,l similar to the London eye next to the markthal then the cube houses right opposite the markthal. I wanted some pictures but I left that to Tence man, I was too cold! We went back inside got some snacks + drinks and decided to head out to do anything but stand in the cold. If you know me you know I love scenery, so I decided to route straight to the Erasmug bridge. This bridge is too beautiful! I don't know if we have any pictures of it but everyone on my Snapchat definitely witnessed what a beauty the bridge was. I didn't think I'd be such a huge fan of bridges but this bridge makes a lot of the bridges in London look like no to be honest. Moving on from being mesmerised by the bridge we went for a light foot pampering session at Care For Your Nails, which was quite a pleasant experience. I really enjoyed it, they made us feel welcomed and done a really great job. I'm feeling like going back there in a couple weeks just for that and coming back. Quick trip! That's how good it was. Will definitely visit again when I'm back in the city. It was right next to my favourite bridge as well so it was a win win! Since Tencey was continuously looking for food this made me look for a restaurant as she said she couldn't find any to my delight . I found us an African restaurant and it weren't no normal African restaurant it was a GHANIAN restaurant for those that don't know I'm from Ghana, so I was over the moon when I found a restaurant called Maame Esi. Super chuffed I couldn't wait to get in and put in some serious work. I would've got a traditional dish but I thought aye chill we're in public. After eating a lot of worldly foods I just wanted some jollof rice, chicken and of course plantain that meal was a great way to end the holiday. I feel like we spent a week there, we'd actually done so much out there man, it was great! I genuinely think Rotterdam was better. Now I'm thinking next time I go will I go straight to Rotterdam or, will I add in Amsterdam or not? Tthat's to be decided I guess but there's definitely more to those two cities than smoking. There's so much stuff we didn't get to do that I'm determined to do next time I'm thinking to split it 3 days in Amsterdam then 4 days in Rotterdam, but we'll see. Share your experiences with us, did we miss anything while visiting these cities? I know Tencey's rattled she didn't get to visit Anne Franks crib and one other place I forgot I know I'm terrible alright let me stop blabbing lol. #Holidays #WinterVibing #Travel #Netherlands #Amsterdam #Rotterdam #eurotunnel #quickgetaway #weekendbreak
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So let's talk about the cheeky red day when every couple feels a little pressure to do something nice for their significant other. But do we really know the history of the 14th of Feb? Let me shed some light on it. Before we start I'll just let you know from now that I don't for one bit celebrate it and I'm still racking my brain to think if I ever have to be honest. Any day with me is like ah day in heaven lol, no pun intended so its not blasphemy; please let's proceed to dissect this... So Valentine’s Day is named after St. Valentine. This alone begs the question of who is St. Valentine, well it seems as if there were about 14 St. Valentines, so who are we even celebrating? One story is about someone that was marrying soldiers when he wasn't supposed to, other stories come from the roman days when they used to whip women because there was a strange correlation between being hitting and being more fertile; lol that sounds mad silly. Also, check this; they done a little raffle on the day when young men would pick names out of ah hat then they couple up for the duration of "Valentines Day" or longer if the match was right. I wanna hear you girls scream #Goals for this one since you advocate for the day so much. Imagine being picked from ah raffle and you have to couple up n let the guy fuck for the duration of the day then he can decide to leave or stay depending on how he feels about you... In other research, Valentine's Day was classed as a pagan holiday then Christians set it straight and changed what it was about apparently. I mean, it could be a day of fertility and love couldn't it? I saw some memes going around saying this day is the start of some of you's pregnancy journey. Listen, count me out! Please I'm not involved in any way shape or form. Okay so you're still probably wondering why I hate it so much. I just feel like its an overrated holiday and I also feel like its for people who genuinely have lost the spark out of their relationship and are looking to do something nice for their significant other. I personally don't need a special occasion to do something nice for my babes because I genuinely always want to be around her. But it just doesn't make sense to me, a lot of married couples and couples who have been together for years tend to ignore each other or stay out of each other's way except on holidays. I really push for integrating your partner into what you're doing this helps with bonding and in all creates a better relationship. I also feel like we're being guilt tripped into celebrating this holiday, and the way they're marketing it, you almost feel obliged to do something for your partner even if you don't have the means. It's not organic at all then is it? At this point it's too forced! Did you know that Valentine's Day is worth over £14.34 Billion? Imagine that! They are making that by guilt tripping you into treating your partner and acting like they care to increase their pockets. You're technically treating these companies owners on Valentine's Day, no one else, because your spending money. Your partner's happiness might not last for long after the day but I'll still see someone in the comment section say "aww but it's the thought that counts". There's a lot of premeditated things that if I begun to spell them out you wouldn't like me. All in all, I genuinely don't believe in the day ​and don't believe what it stands for. Seems like a load of bull and a day for people to show off by trying to do nice things for their partners, trying to make up for the lack of attention they pay to their significant others. It's not something I see myself indulging in. Pretty intense overview right? Let me know what you thing by commenting my post. I mean, if there's another side I'm not seeing I'd be interested to here it! You know what, if you can change me view, a tenner might be involved lol
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He Said She Said by Tencey - 3M ago

Hey guys, welcome to our first blog post. I believe its mandatory for y'all to at least get a feel for who we are and what you should expect, opening each post every other week. We are two rather opinionated and potentially influential individuals who found each other and after a while of going back and forth, realised we have met each other's match. With this we thought it best to anchor each other down (yes, we off the market!), and work on bettering ourselves for each other and our future together. Coming from slightly different backgrounds and experiences we realised we'd tend to have a conflicted POV on certain things, let's face it, stating the obvious; he's a boy and I'm a girl. We all know the effect of such a simple yet complex gender result on a socially classified level. We are yet to even touch upon other difference'. Anyway, before I start getting passionate and analytical, I have constructed a survey for me and the babes to fill out, just for a glimpse into who we are. P. S, over time you'll realise who is typing and when. We type rather differently. Name? He said: Jack Jones, Jack FORBES, Jack Frost, @Jones_Liberache lol it's your boy feel me She said: Tencey. Just Tencey. Wow.. We shouting out the gram already? Age? He said: 25 still 26 this year what we doing? She said: 24, (he’s a Grandad). Area of Residence? He said: some mad question lol come on man I'm from where I'm from init She said: Somewhere in North London. Country? He said: Ghanian She said: I'm Congolese :) looool-that's me laughing at what y'all are thinking already! What do you enjoy doing? He said: erm bare stuff can't even narrow it down tbh She said: EATING! :) When I'm not doing that I'm watching documentaries, (this is a new thing I've realised I enjoy) as well as researching into the most random things but I find super interesting. The last thing I researched about was estates in London. It got deep. Ooo, I also used to really love the gym, but we broke up when this one came into my life. Ever since then I've been trying to rekindle the relationship me and the gym had... How did you meet? He said: lol I moved to her down like metro bank near Liverpool street that's ma nigga for life tho She said: Well... I was on my way to work but had to go to Tesco’s on the way, so I was following my navigation that was helping to get me there to find that there was someone contemplating their movement behind me... P.S. I deffo didn't notice no metro bank boy! What's your pet peeve about'em? He said: erm she's annoying She said: He doesn't enjoy listening to me particularly. The list goes on, but we digress. Two Values/Belief that you'll always stand by? He said: I'll do this, one value is being honest (although some will beg to differ) other one belief is God is Good dno if I answered properly but hey lol tek it She said: 1. I don’t talk unless I know what I’m talking about. 2. There are 8 BILLION people in the world, if my opinion affects you that bad then I must be pretty important to you. (Feelings not mutual) Any other comments or forever hold your peace: He said: yeah the fact I had to edit of forever to or forever lol She said: ^^ so annoying. We welcome you to our blog! Filled with unpopular opinions, (even to each other).
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