Gotham Club - How to Get a Girlfriend With Style and Class
The 3 Perfect Conversation Starters for men who want more action. Discover exactly how to ask a woman for more sex. The Gotham Dating Club holds local dating advice seminars for men, offers dating coaching for men, and hosts the top dating advice talent in the world at our seminars.
If you’ve ever toured a historic building, you might have noticed something strange:
All the door handles are really low, as if they were made for children.
What’s up with that, you might have wondered?
If you had a decent tour guide, he should have explained that people used to be smaller.
After that, you probably strutted through those little doorways like you owned the place. Who doesn’t like an educational experience that makes you feel like a giant?
In fact, people have gotten taller in the last 150 years–an average of four inches taller, to be exact.
But don’t go getting a big head. Modern living might provide superior nutrition and height. But our industrialized lives may also be decreasing your testosterone levels.
Believe it or not, a 65-year-old man in 2004 had about 17% less testosterone than a man of the same age in 1987. And sex therapists have reported treating young men for sexual problems that usually affect older men in recent years.
Other chemicals are to blame, too, including some medications, and the antibacterial ingredient triclosan.
Triclosan is gradually being removed from most hand soaps. But once these chemicals get into our water and food supply, they are hard to get out.
We’re not the only creatures suffering from low testosterone, either. Chemicals and plastics in the oceans have been known to mess up fish reproduction.
And what’s bad for the fish is bad for the… fisherman.
In a nutshell, living a healthy life and encouraging lawmakers to keep a clean environment are great ways to keep your testosterone levels as healthy as possible.
If you feel you are suffering from low testosterone, rest assured it’s not your fault—unless you have single-handedly caused global pollution. In that case, you must be a comic book villain, and a doctor may not be able to help you.
But if, like the rest of us, you’re a normal guy with a human body, then don’t worry.
You don’t have to visit the doctor to boost your testosterone naturally, and give yourself a “boost” in the bedroom.
Here’s what I mean:
The “Secret Shortcut” to Getting Your Sex Drive Back & Boosting Your Bedroom Performance…
Even if you suspect your T-levels have hit rock-bottom…
Today I want to show you some straightforward, highly effective tips that will help you get a one night stand.
I’ll cover 5 pieces advice that–when combined in a sensible manner (meaning you don’t take any one piece of advice to an extreme and thereby ignore the complementary advice)– will help you achieve a one night stand.
So if you’ve ever had trouble getting a hot girl to come home with you…
Or it seems to take you hours just to get a “peck on the cheek”…
Then I’m going to help you eliminate those issues, and get exactly what you want.
So with that in mind, here are 5 highly effective habits of men who regularly land one night stands:
1) They Know When to Lower Their Standards
Unless you are exceptionally good with women and have refined your tastes over a long career of womanizing, it’s best to realize that, when it comes to one night stands, you should have one goal in mind:
Even the guys I know with the highest standards will still take an “OK” or cute girl home if it’s easy for them.
Because when the lights are off, sex is pretty much just sex, no matter how you slice it.
Furthermore, getting one night stands consistently boosts your confidence and improves your ability to get more one night stands.
Makes sense, right?
Flirting is flirting, no matter who with, and hooking up is hooking up, no matter who with.
Although your focus should be on getting some action tonight, remember that the actions of the present affect the future. Think process, not events.
The better you get at sleeping with women, of any quality, the better you will be with more beautiful women. The process is the same, regardless of her quality.
A guy who regularly sleeps with bombshells sees them as just girls–which is how they see themselves.
The truth is, women want to be appreciated and adored… but if you treat her like some special unicorn, she’s likely to assume that you don’t often get women of her quality. Which means, in her mind, you are “lower value” than her.
And if you haven’t already discovered, women like to sleep with their peers and their superiors. So lower your standards. That’s tip #1.
2) They’re Direct
I would recommend this tactic to any guy, even if you don’t normally have the sexually direct style that I do.
Being direct doesn’t necessarily mean you should explicitly tell her what you want to do to her (although you can definitely do that). However, it does mean you should be direct with your interest.
For example, I highly recommend meeting her with a compliment.
When you compliment a girl as your opener, you make your intentions clear at the outset and screen her out quickly if she’s not interested (the name of the game is screening girls out, not in).
I’m also a very social guy and will initiate conversation with something simple, like “Hello,” as well. But make sure there is sexual intent behind it–strong eye contact, a smirk, and body language facing her.
If, however, you are being social and don’t make your interest clear–and you are too inexperienced to distinguish flirting from politeness –you could be led on a wild goose chase where she simply enjoys your company for the night, with nothing physical in mind.
Of course, this is fine and enjoying the company of a beautiful woman is good in and of itself, but a man has desires. And this article is about fulfilling those desires, not just having a good time.
A Word on Being Direct With Your Words Vs. With Your Body…
When I say be “direct,” I also mean you have to be physically direct.
Even if you consider yourself more of a conversationalist, all it takes is for one hand on her hips to communicate that you’re interested in her sexually.
And as for closing, well, whether you’d like to get a one night stand via the “Let’s go have a nightcap” approach or you prefer the ol’ “Netflix & Chill,” it benefits you to be direct about your plans.
If you’re not direct, and she isn’t aware of your desires, there’s a good chance she may feel confused about what it is exactly you’re after.
For example, if you’ve ever had a girl ask, “What do you want?” or some derivative of this, then you know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as telling a girl what you want from her…
And that’s all she needs to give it to you.
3) They’re Persistent
Persisting correctly is not about trying again and again; that’s likely to annoy her or make you look desperate.
Instead, it’s about persisting in the right way, at the right time.
Here’s a personal story to illustrate what I mean:
A year ago, working at a club, I met this cute chick. It was clear that we were kinda digging each other, and she asked me what time I got off.
I told her, and then I said we’re gonna hang out. She asked where I lived–I told her and then said again that I was taking her home.
Here’s what happened next:
Her: “You’re bringing me home.”
Me: “Yeah, we’re going to my house.”
Her: “Nooo, you’re bringing me home.”
Me: “Oh…well, yeah, after we go to my place, I’ll take you home, sure!” (She laughed)
Her: “Well…maybe we can go get some pizza and then you can take me home.”
Me: “What’s your hesitance, sweetie?” (She looks surprised) “Tell me, what’s keeping you from saying yes? I want to hear it.”
At this point, she looked caught off guard but was also smiling and blushing.
Her: “You want me to be honest…?”
Me: “Yep. I want to hear it.”
Her: “What are we going to do at your house?”
Me: “Oh, I’m gonna f*** your brains out.”
She was speechless. But I noticed her body lurch towards me, ever so slightly. Her hips were touching mine and I noticed a slight lift from her hips onto mine.
Her: “Uhh…I don’t go home with random boys. I’m not that easy.”
Me: “Easy? Who said anything about easy? What are you talking about?”
She looked shocked… however, her hips were firmly touching mine, and her upper body was also leaning toward me, her arms close to mine.
Her: “I’m not going to hookup with you.”
Me: “Oh, sweetie, I’m not just gonna f*** you tonight. I’m gonna f*** you tonight, all morning, and then we’re going to spend the day together.”
She stared at me. I continued:
Me: “Yeah, we’re gonna cook breakfast together, and then maybe talk a walk in the park, and then I’m gonna f*** you some more, and then if you want to come over tomorrow night, you can, too.”
She stared at me for a second, and then she looked down as if she was pondering it quite seriously.
Me: “Does that sound like fun? I mean if you don’t want to, I totally understand. But I’d really like it if you did join me. You’re so sexy, adorable, and you’re my girl.”
Then I grabbed her face and kissed her.
You Might Not Believe What Happens Next…
At this point, everyone around us was staring, including some of my co-workers.
Me: “So, are you my girl? Are you spending the night with me?”
She nodded. After I got off work, we got pizza and went home for some insanely passionate sex.
So, as you can see, you may have to try many times… but it’s how you do it that matters.
It can be as simple as reiterating your desire by saying, “You’re coming home with me,” or just asking her why she’s saying no.
With this girl, I knew by her objections that she didn’t want to be casually picked up and needed some romancing. I felt like giving her this, so I didn’t lie or manipulate her. I simply saw the opportunity to give her what she wanted.
But first, I had to know what that was. All I had to do was pay attention.
4) They’re Patient
If you go out with the intention of getting sex, but go after it like a hungry lion… you may find yourself coming off as too assertive, needy, or desperate.
Some of the guys I know with the highest “hit rates” are the ones who don’t mind spending hours in the club or bar.
In fact, sometimes they just stand there and do nothing.
Seriously–landing a one night stand can often be a waiting game. All you have to do is know when the right girl has walked in.
5) They Move on Fast From Bad prospects
One of the bouncers I worked with last year told me about his process that got him laid 40 times in the 40 nights he went out.
He’d begin the night early at a favorite bar–if he couldn’t find a girl to take home, he’d approach and just gather numbers.
Once he hit a wall, his next step was to move on to the next bar.
Does that mean you have to spend a bunch of time caressing her body… taking it “slow”… and whispering sweet nothings into her ear?
You’ve just gotta make her come, and make her come hard!
And by far the most effective way to get a girl PULSING with pleasure, and have this long intense full-body orgasm (which makes some women squirt)… is with an amazing little move called “5 Finger Tantra”:
…so when you use it, the part of her mind that would normally say, “He’s too fat!” or “He’s bald!” or “He hardly speaks English, damn it!” shuts right off… and before you know it, she’s begging you to go “somewhere more private”… hell yeah.
These days, Magic is one of the top experts in our community… and he’s been gracious enough to share this step-by-step video with our community, showing how it’s done.
It’s one of the first things we show “newbies”… and if you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend you check it out here:
Why? It’s non-threatening and an easy way for her to touch you and feel close to you.
A tap on the shoulder or playful jaunt across the chest are likely signs that she can’t get enough of spending time with you, so try asking her out again (and maybe to a cocktail bar instead of a sports game).
2) She Says These 2 Little Words To You…
Keep this in mind the next time she texts you.
Women like to use a harmless “I’m bored” or “My plans got cancelled :(” text to show you they’re free.
Because they want you to know they’re free and want to spend time with you–without putting themselves too “out there” or making themselves vulnerable.
It’s pretty simple and straightforward, but most guys don’t catch on to the fact that women are actually flirting when they say this.
Most women are afraid of rejection, so these subtle texts and phrases are easy ways to feel you out, without seeming too eager.
3) She Sends You This Specific Kind Of Photo
This one can be really tricky, so pay attention.
If a woman is into you, she’ll likely text you cute pictures of herself from time to time. But it won’t usually be this direct.
Instead, she’ll send a cute picture of her and her dog and text “Roscoe says hi!” Or, she’ll send you a picture of her out with friends and write “Girls night out.”
On the surface, these photos will likely seem like a typical shot she could upload to Instagram, when in reality, she’s trying to send you pictures to see how you respond.
She wants you to comment on her appearance, but doesn’t want to be entirely suggestive about it.
4) She Asks About Your Plans
Before heading out on a Friday, your cute female coworker might make a point to ask what you’re doing that weekend.
She’s almost certainly showing interest and trying to see if you have any free time.
Of course, she could just be asking a friendly question, so shoot the question back in her direction.
It’s no coincidence that after Halloween, millions of men seem to transform slowly from smooth, baby-faced gents into lumberjacks and grizzly bears.
Don’t worry, there’s nothing to fear! It just means that it’s November!
During November, most men participate in either Movember or No Shave November.
Why, you ask? What is Movember? And what is No Shave November? Are the two even different?
We’ll get into all of the hairy details below to teach you the history of the Movember foundation, learn more about the Movember rules, and find out how to show your support for Movember or No Shave November.
Read on to find out more!
First Things First: What Is Movember?
Although Movember has been happening for over a decade now, I still hear people asking:
“What is Movember?”
Not many people know the story behind this special month or the cause it supports.
In addition, many people believe Movember and No Shave November are the same thing. But they’re actually movements that support very different causes.
So, what is Movember and what makes it such a special event? We’ll explain everything you need to know to rock your best Movember mustache below.
Movember: The Basics
Movember is an annual event involving the growing of mustaches during the month of November. This is done to raise awareness of men’s health issues, such as prostate cancer, testicular cancer, men’s suicide, and sexual disorders, like erectile dysfunction.
The Movember foundation is a global organization dedicated to improving and raising awareness for men’s health issues.
The Movember Foundation also provides a variety of online resources to help men prepare and succeed during their Movember commitment.
What Is No Shave November? Is It Different Than Movember?
No Shave November is also an annual event where all hair is grown out. But instead of supporting strictly men’s causes, it’s done to support cancer patients who typically lose their hair during treatment.
This event is not limited to men, but men are typically the main participants, as they can grow facial (and visible hair) more quickly in a month’s time.
You can learn more about No Shave November, how to participate, and how to raise awareness at their official site.
So, what is No Shave November’s main benefit?
No Shave November supports cancer, while Movember supports all of men’s health issues.
No Shave November is also easier for women to participate in, though both primarily center around growing facial hair.
Can I Participate in Both Movember & No Shave November?
Yes! In fact, many men opt to do both!
You can grow out your Movember mustache and not shave your beard for the entire month. You don’t have to pick, but in order to fully participate in Movember, you’ll want to understand the full set of rules.
Many men love discovering how quickly their hair can grow and enjoy sporting their new looks throughout the month.
You can also register online at Movember’s official site in order to help promote the cause, encourage donations, participate in other Movember events (like walking or running), or host your own Movember event.
None of these actions are required to participate, but the Movember website is a great resource for any men looking for Movember mustache inspiration.
What Is Movember Going to Do to My Look?
Of course, growing a ‘stache from scratch can make many men uneasy.
Some men find it more difficult than others to grow a full mustache, and others worry that they may look creepy with only a mustache.
While the official Movember rules are to make your Movember mustache the focus of your face, you can grow a small beard to help support you through the month.
Ideally, the beard wouldn’t connect to your mustache, but can be used to help balance out your look.
Just make sure you shave off your existing beard before starting and focus primarily on your ‘stache.
How To Do Movember Right
Movember doesn’t have to be daunting if you have the right tools and mindset.
Once you know the Movember rules, you’ll only need three key things to get the most out of your Movember mustache.
1) Picking The Right Movember Mustache Style
No one’s facial hair grows the same way, and all mustaches look different.
If you have a feel for how long and thick your mustache can grow, you’ll be able to easily find a style to aim for.
If you’re new to mustaches in general, shoot for a more simple style and adjust along the way.
The key is to have fun and enjoy trying out a different look throughout the whole month or week to week.
Not sure where to get started? Here are some of the most popular Movember looks:
Think Ron Burgandy from Anchorman for this classic look.
Made popular by Freddie Mercury and Tom Selleck, this traditional stache is perfect for anyone able to grow a thick ‘stache by the end of Movember.
Your Movember mustache doesn’t have to be crazy to count.
If you struggle to grow facial hair or if it grows unevenly, rock you natural ‘stache without worry.
If it’s good enough for James Franco, it’s definitely good enough for Movember.
Get stylish with your ‘stache if you’re able to get it to grow long enough.
It’s easy to go from the Natural to the Trucker by allowing your Movember mustache to grow, while also growing out your beard. Once the hair is thick enough, use trimmers to shape your ‘stache into a horseshoe configuration.
To keep your ‘stache well-groomed throughout the day, you have to nourish it with moisturizing products.
This beloved beard oil is perfect for any Movember mustache and will keep your facial hair looking well-defined and soft.
Some even claim it helps uneven ‘staches grow faster.
Sheer determination isn’t enough to keep every creative mustache style in place.
For maximum hold and protection, you’ll want to find a great wax to help bring your ‘stache to life.
Pro Tip: Look for a balm butter and wax duo that smells awesome, provides great hold, and will keep your mustache and face moisturized and soothed.
3) Patience & Confidence
Not every mustache will grow at the same rate. And unfortunately, some face shapes work better with certain mustaches than others.
That’s OK! Remember, Movember is about raising awareness for men’s health problems, while also sporting a dope mustache.
If you can’t grow the ‘stache of your dreams, stop focusing on what your face won’t do and instead think of what you can achieve.
Even if you rock the Natural all month, you’ll gain a better appreciation for your facial hair and likely come up with some fun ideas for how to wear your beard or mustache in the future.
One expert says:
In general we just try to tell the guys to be patient. And don’t over-groom. A lot of guys that are trying to let a mustache come in tend to get a little impatient and give up halfway through, or try to adjust a little too much on their own. You’ve just got to be patient and have some confidence with it.”
You’re also likely to receive questions from family, friends, and co-workers–especially in the beginning of the month.
Some people will ask general questions like, “What is Movember?”
While others might ask more specific questions, like about Movember’s rules.
Engage them by letting them know what an awesome cause you’re supporting–and it’s also a great way to start a conversation with a beautiful woman.
Raising Awareness as Part Of Movember–What’s It All About?
It’s important to remember that while Movember can be fun to participate in, at its core, Movember is all about raising awareness for men’s health issues.
Having a basic understanding of the top diseases and disorders that affect men is important for raising awareness about Movember.
Here are four of the top causes that Movember strives to raise awareness for:
1) Prostate Cancer
Did you know that prostate cancer is the second most leading cancer in American men?
While skin cancer is first, prostate cancer is heavily focused on because it often goes undiagnosed until it’s too late.
In addition, prostate cancer that is caught late is one of the deadliest forms of cancers. The American Cancer Society’s estimates for prostate cancer in the United States for 2018 are:
Approximately 164,690 new cases of prostate cancer
Approximately 29,430 deaths from prostate cancer
You can learn more about the specific risks of prostate cancer here.
Preventing & Treating Prostate Cancer
Regular checkups are important in preventing or detecting prostate cancer early.
Since prostate cancer often does not have any warning symptoms, talk to your doctor about screening for prostate cancer, especially if prostate cancer runs in your family.
There are also some genetic testing options that can help determine your risk of developing prostate cancer.
Treating prostate cancer varies depending on what stage the cancer is in.
Eventually, someone has to say, “Hey, stop smiling at me,” and get the ball rolling.
Someone has to say, “Come with me,” or, “Meet me at Nurse Betty’s” or, “You gonna keep teasing me or you gonna kiss me?”
Who’s gonna do it? Her?
That means that at the end of the day, if you’re really good-looking but won’t do something, you’re gonna get just as nowhere as me if I do nothing.
Both of us will meet someone, mind you, but it won’t be someone we like. It will be someone who likes us (not the ideal situation).
What About “Incels” And Other Men Who Just Can’t Get Laid?
What about “incels,” or “involuntary celibates”?
Again, their looks are NOT their impediment. It’s their personality.
Let me tell you a story to hopefully illustrate this point and drive it home.
I know a girl who knows a guy.
This guy is really good-looking.
I mean, if rating guys made any sense (it kind of doesn’t and hopefully you’re beginning to understand why) this guy would be a 10 or at least a 9.
She really thought they were destined for each other–so did I–but things just didn’t seem to work out.
He never really made his interest certain, so although they fooled around–maybe to the level of heavy petting–it still hadn’t pushed off into any kind of declared relationship by the time we found out he was engaged to marry a different girl.
Now this “different girl,” she wasn’t really as attractive as the girl I know.
If you’re inclined to rate women–which I’m not (it actually makes a ton more sense than rating guys though, but women are understandably very much against it)–my friend is an 8 or a 9 while this guy’s fiancée was at best a 7, maybe even a 6.
They got engaged, however, and they got married. And they stayed married for two and a half years.
That’s Not All…
Then they separated, and this guy never forgot the other girl–the one I know.
They tried again, and she talked to me about it.
Well she wasn’t sure about him, she wasn’t sure if he wanted her and she wasn’t even sure she wanted him.
The personality was somehow not working. She was trying to figure out what she thought, and I was trying to figure out WHY she was hesitating.
Then it occurred to me.
I remembered why this guy separated from and divorced his wife.
She cheated on him–in fact she was cheating on him for some time.
That’s right. This six-at-best dumped this 9-at-worst.
I’m afraid that looks do NOT do it.
For a man, looks WILL make a woman who is already with you want to keep you.
Looks will help her convince herself.
Love, however is what gets her, AND what locks her in. And Love doesn’t come from looks.
If Not Looks… Then What Is It That Gets Her to Sleep With You?
The truth is, if you’re really good-looking then girls will have crushes on you.
But no matter how good you look, to generate Love with a capital L requires taking a hold of a woman’s imagination.
Two days ago, I got one of the most “interesting,” most anticipated packages I’ve ever received during my time at Gotham Club.
Yeah, that’s right: it was an actual package.
Not an email…
Not a voicemail…
But something real and tangible that I could actually hold in my hands.
Something that I had been waiting for weeks to get my hands on, ever since Craig mentioned it off-hand to me one day:
It was a deck of cards.
But not just any deck of cards.
There were only 500 of these decks available in the entire world!
This was a very special deck of cards designed for a unique purpose:
To help you connect with any woman you see, anywhere, any time!
Craig’s buddy Owen developed these cards based off of years of studies and scientific research.
After rigorous testing and analysis… and working with thousands of groups of men and women… he discovered a series of questions that men could ask women (and vice versa) that had a huge effect on whether she’d bond with a guy… and see him as a potential sexual partner.
It turned out that there were 52 of these questions… so Owen figured he would turn them into something fun… kind of a “game” that people could play pretty much anywhere. After all these were “innocent” questions… she would never know that they’ve been proven to subconsciously boost her desire for you…
Owen perfected the deck over the past three years, and tested it on some of the most beautiful women in New York randomly at bars, parties, and even on the street in broad daylight!
The result was this relatively small package that I now (finally) hold in my hand…
…Owen called it the “Deck of Destiny,” and because Owen developed this in secret in his own “skunkworks,” I wanted to test the deck out and see if it was really as powerful as he and Craig claimed.
Is The Deck of Destiny Really That Powerful?
First, you have to understand just how excited Craig was about getting his hands on one of Owen’s amazing little decks of cards.
I mean, he was bouncing off the walls with energy, eagerly asking the team for updates about “the project”…
…to the extent that when he announced what “the project” was, I was a little bit skeptical.
How could a simple deck of cards possibly live up to the hype?
But then I opened up the package and took the deck for a “test drive” at a local Manhattan watering hole.
It’s all that it’s billed to be and then some!
Basically, you start out pulling cards from different “suits.” Each card has a different question that’s based on Owen’s hard scientific research, as well as his own experiences and three years of trial-and-error.
Not only that, but each of the “suits” is designed to bring you closer and closer to whatever woman you have your eye on, so that by the end of the night…
She feels like she’s known you forever, has a deep, powerful connection with you, and doesn’t even know why!
By the end of the night, not only did I notice that both girls in our little group (a cute little redhead and a tall brunette with model-features) were looking at me like a hungry lion eyeing a steak…
A lot of people have heard of the three-point handshake. It’s what politicians do.
When you shake her hand, you clasp it and then touch somewhere else. If you watch big politicians like Clinton, you’ll see they actually clasp, touch, and then touch a shoulder as well.
I don’t always recommend that, but in those situations when you’re shaking the hand for the first time, you have the opportunity for an extra touch.
If you’re sitting next to her, you could also try resting your knee against hers.
There was a moment I had with a woman on a bus–we didn’t even speak the same language. But without talking the entire time, I seduced her just be resting my knee against hers.
That’s the power of touch.
How Does Subtle Touch Escalate The Date?
There are two types of touchers on first dates–the escalators and the calibrators.
The escalator is the guy who wants to keep moving forward…
While the calibrator, on the other hand, keeps thinking about where he is with his touches.
Neither of these strategies works on its own!
Of course, I’m not saying that you need to move quietly or slowly. It’s not about the speed.
The speed is part of it, but what’s really important is that every time you move forward with her, you “measure” to see how far you can go. It’s this combination of escalation and calibration that works particularly well on dates.
The #1 Sign She Wants You to Lean in & Kiss Her…
There are 3 responses a woman can have when you touch her.
Let’s say a guy escalates a little too much and makes a woman uncomfortable.
In response, he might tell her, “Oh, well, maybe I can have a second chance?”
If she replies, “You get all the chances you want,” then that’s a “yes” response. That’s a sign you can keep going.