How many of you want or desire a different version of who you are?
What are the things you want to change about yourself? What are some of the things that you think that if you change, you’ll become happier, wiser, smarter?
Here’s a trick that I’ve been doing my entire life.
A lot of people talk about what they want their outcome to be. I want to have a great relationship.
I want to get this new job and make more money.
I want that beach body by the summer.
And a lot of people set goals that way. And the old way of setting goals is to say that’s the goal, and start doing it.
But we all know what a lot of the times: once you start doing it, you stop.
And you start.
Then you stop.
Then you start.
Then you stop.
Then you start.
So we all know that that doesn’t work.
The reason why is because you’re so focused on what you want the outcome to be.
And when you focus on what you want the outcome to be, you are not seeing the greater picture.
The reason why so many people can’t make changes is that they don’t develop themselves along the way.
In order to make massive changes in your life, you need to create a story that you’re living into.
A new story.
Not an old story with the reasons why you’re not working out.
Not an old story with the reasons why you’re not eating healthy.
Or whatever it might be. You have to create a new story. And creating a new story means that every single day, you’re writing the version, the character, of who you’re going to be.
I’ll give you an example.
I’ve been an entrepreneur my entire adult life.
In my early 20s, I was David Wygant, the bartender/actor.
I was playing a character, a role. I was a working bartender and a struggling actor in New York City. That’s what my identity was, and that was the story that I was living into every single day.
I was journaling about what I wanted.
I was writing down my goals and aspirations.
I was living into the new reality I was trying to create.
I got an opportunity to own a bar, so then I became David Wygant, the bar owner.
I started learning how to run a bar. I started creating this story about David Wygant, the bar owner.
I started talking to people all the time, and I no longer was saying, yeah, I wanted to be an actor, but now I just own this bar. I was like, man, I own this great killer bar. And I started creating what I wanted the bar to be.
I moved to Colorado and I was a real estate investor.
I had a car lot with a friend of mine.
Then I created the dating industry.
Look it up.
I literally was one of the first people to coach, I was the first one to do the bootcamps.
I created it.
And I created it by living into a story.
Every single time I saw somebody, I would tell them exactly who I was becoming.
You don’t think about where you are. You don’t think that you’re almost there. You constantly tweak yourself every single day to get yourself there.
So whenever you meet somebody, you tell them yeah man, I own this art company.
You may not have made a single penny yet, but if you continue to feed the story on a daily basis, what happens is, you have the opportunity to live into that story on a daily basis.
You start becoming that person. If you want to start working out, I’ve got to live into that story every single day.
You’ve got to work out. You’ve got to stop the excuses. You have to stop the reasons why you’re not doing it, no matter if you’re tired. No matter if it’s cold that day. You need to do and go to the gym. You need work on yourself every single day. And on each day you work on yourself, your story becomes more and more developed. And you become more and more powerful in your story.
That’s how it’s done.
That’s how we live into a story.
We’re creating a day-by-day, we’re tweaking a day-by-day.
If you have a setback, you say to yourself, today in my story, I had a setback.
I wasn’t able to get to the gym, the reason being was that I had to work late.
But tomorrow I’m going to wake up first thing in the morning and I’m going to go to the gym.
And you actually get up and you don’t hit the snooze button, and you set your intent, and you live into the story that you’re creating.
If you’ve ever driven down side streets in LA, there’s only room a lot of the times for one car to pass another one. You literally cannot go two cars down. You have to always pull over and let a guy go through.
So, today, like on many other days, this woman was coming towards me. I let her have the upper hand, or the upper lane. I allowed her to go first. I noticed that she was going really slow, taking her own sweet time, to make it down the street.
I thought to myself, is this self-centered asshole texting and making me wait because she needs to get a text off?
We all know how important that text is. God forbid. That person on the other end waiting for the Apple logo… They’re going to need to get that text in very fast. I mean, it’s got to be a life or death text for her to make another person wait. Or, is she just another self-centered, self-absorbed texter.
Well, if I was a gambling man (and I’m not) I would have to say that this woman was another self-absorbed texter. There’s many of them all over the world. You see them every which place that you go.
People walking down the street, walking directly towards you holding their precious phone texting someone. Many times, I’ll just kind of give them a little shoulder to shoulder rub to wake them up. Why? Because people need to be more self-aware. I’m constantly going and getting out of people’s way ever single day as they text walking down the street.
How many times are you avoiding people because they are obsessed with texting somebody on their phone? I want you to become more aware of that, and if you are this self-centered asshole that literally walks around making other people wait, maybe you should really start learning that there’s other human beings that are on this planet that don’t want to sit and wait for you to go through your texting.
I want you to take a look at that. Want you to count the times that people are texting. I want you to count the times that you’re held up at cash registers.
Driving down the road.
Walking down the street. I want you to count the amount of times in a day that somebody is holding you up because they had to get a text in.
Oh, it’s going to blow your mind. You’re going to think to yourself, there’s just no way that it’s more than like three or four times. Trust me, my friend. Not only is it more than three or four times. It might be three or four times in an hour that you have to be held up waiting for somebody to text.
That’s our new world we live in. Feel self-entitled to be texting non-stop, and make you wait for them. Anyway, write it down. Let me know. Share your thoughts, and I’ll see you on the blog tomorrow.
It’s interesting, there seems to be a lot of talk around Valentines Day of couples moving in together. Is that the gift that special person in your life is looking for?
I want to talk about moving in together because I have lived with quite a number of women, and I’ve got to tell you something: I was that guy that would move them in a little too quickly. And if I really followed a set of guidelines, I probably would have never moved in with any of them!
You’ve got to know the right time to move them in. Let’s talk about a couple of things. Let’s call this:
The 3 Key Things to Discuss with Your Woman Before She Moves In
Thing #1: You need to know exactly how they like to keep house. One of the things you need to do before you move in with somebody is to go to their house often and look around. Are they clean, are they neat, are their piles of clothes, is everything hidden in the closets? How do they like to live, what are their sleeping habits, what are their morning habits?
You want to know about all their habits ahead of time because if you’re Mrs. Neat Freak and he’s Mr. Messy, it’s going to cause fights moving forward.
Now that’s what I consider a very superficial thing that you can work through. The next two become more I would say life changing.
Thing #2: What are their television habits? Yeah, I know, is that life changing? You’re probably thinking that there’s no way in the world television habits can be life changing, but they actually are. If you move in with a TV-aholic, and you’re not a TV-aholic, it’s going to drive you crazy. It’s going to make you see red 24-7.
So you need to get an idea of what their favorite shows are, how often they like to watch TV, and if they’re TV watchers before they go to sleep.
A client of mine never liked TV before she went to sleep. When they were just dating, her boyfriend never put the TV on before they went to sleep. When he moved in, that habit kind of crawled in there and it drove her bananas! She had to buy earplugs because he couldn’t fall asleep with TV and she couldn’t fall asleep without TV. So either one was having insomnia and cursing the other one out, or the other one was having insomnia and cursing the other one out.
Not life-changing enough? Okay, let’s go to the big thing.
Thing #3: Do you share the same views on life, kids, money, finances, your future, where you want to live, etc.? These are the things we never like to talk about when we’re in the beginning stages of a relationship. Yet, these are the most important issues to talk about.
I’m sure when you’re reading the others, you were thinking, “Geez, David, those other things are so superficial, I can live with that.” And I’m sure you can, but you can’t live with somebody who wants to move to the country when you’re a city person. Or you can live with someone who’s idea of raising children means taking them to the zoo every morning when your would rather stay home with them and read quietly.
Talk about kids, how you want to raise them, what your beliefs are, religion, everything. Talk it all out because it’s better to find this stuff out in the beginning than right before you’re packing your bags or being asked to not be home for a few hours while they move out.
. . .
Take it from me, guys. Discuss these three key issues and you’ll be in a friction-free relationship and home!
There are three simple easy steps to deal with frustration.
If you’re frustrated and you’re working on your computer, you can throw it out the window and see how far it will travel.
Or you can wrap your hand up in a towel and you can punch the screen and see how far your hand can travel through the screen.
Or you can just jump up and down and stomp all over.
If you’re driving and somebody cuts you off, well that’s simple.
You can ram their car.
Or you can bring a dozen eggs in your car and literally roll down the window and hit them with it.
If you’re walking down the street and one of those self-absorbed iPhone addicts are coming directly at you, well that’s the easiest way to get rid of that frustration. All you’ve got to do is walk straight into them and watch their iPhone, their precious love, precious security blanket, go tumbling up in the air and fall to the ground.
You can then look at them and snicker, and laugh, and think to yourself ah-hah.
Maybe next time you’ll pay attention.
You’ve gone on a date, and you’re not happy, and you’re frustrated, you can just spill a drink in their face.
The above will never work. You know that, I know that.
As rational people, we need to monitor our irrational thoughts. When we monitor our irrational thoughts, we no longer will feel the need to throw a drink in someone’s face.
Walk into somebody and knock their iPhone down. We’ll realize that a frustrating moment is just that, a quick blip. It’s a quick moment in a day.
It doesn’t define your entire day. It doesn’t defy your entire week. It’s all part of life. It’s all part of where we are, who we are as people, and how we need to coexist with one another on this planet.
The next time you feel frustration and anger, take a deep, deep, deep breath.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe deep.
Let it out. Blow the stress out.
Blow the frustration out, and just realize life will consistently give you frustrating moments.
It’s how we handle them, define them, and it’s how we get by them without them really stopping us from the wonderful, beautiful life that we live every single day.
There’s a saying in business, sports teams and everything else. The people around you represent you. Or to put it in layman’s terms.
You’re only as good as your supporting cast.
I was reading an article today about my favorite football team. And don’t get me wrong. I don’t really care what they do because at this point it’s not really tied to the outcome of them. They’ve been a losing organization for 50 years. It’s been 50 years since they made the Superbowl.
They draft poorly.
It doesn’t matter who runs the New York Jets.
Because it’s the people who do the hiring are clearly screwing up.
The Johnson brothers are successful men thanks to their parents. They own the Johnson & Johnson Company. Clearly have too much money, so when they bought a football team they thought to themselves, well, we can do this. The problem is they never made their family’s money. Their money was made. They inherited that money. They worked the family business. Not everybody can be Johnson & Johnson.
When you look at a sports team from a self-made millionaire, they tend to — they’re better at hiring. Maybe not Daniel Sneider, but a lot of the other ones.
So if you look at the Jets, and you look at the history of the Jets, they’ve had four coaches, three GMs. The GMs are terrible. It all starts with who you hire.
Their general manager right now is terrible.
The only way he’s going to be successful is if he can successfully draft.
Why? Well, because they don’t hire the right talent evaluators. Maybe they’ve got too big of an ego. Maybe them themselves can’t evaluate talents.
But this all falls with the Johnsons. The Johnsons, never hired somebody who was a stud. What they did was they did arranged marriages.
Then they hired Tod Bowls.
It was an arranged marriage.
A true GM, would never, ever take that job when a coach is forced upon them because a true GM, knows that if he has the right coach and if he drafts the right players, he’ll be able to have a good success run. The problem with the Jets was you had a rookie GM, with a rookie coach. The only person who would take that job was a rookie GM. That all comes back to the Johnsons.
Their supporting cast, their track record of hiring, 19 years of owning the team, has been terrible. Take away Rex Ryans’ miracle, two years with Marc Sanchez as a quarterback, and the rest of the time was very mediocre.
They’re at another crossroads for their organization. The question is, based on their past, what makes them think they’re actually going to get it right? McKagonen is going to get a free pass.
Tod Bowls is going to get fired and McKagonen is going to have a chance to hire his own coach. The problem is a good coach is not going to want to be there because they know the track record of this GM, and the way he drafts is not fantastic. Not only that. He’s a dead man, walking because if the coach fails in the first two years, the GM, is going to be gone too and a new coach is going to be hired. It comes down to any organization, who you hire.
Shows exactly how you run an organization. The Johnsons, they have been handed all of that money from the Johnson & Johnson Company. But they’re terrible at running an organization and terrible at running a football team. And if you think things are going to change after 19 years, it’s not. And what can you learn from the New York Jets?
You can learn that it takes hiring the right person in order to make you look good. They’ve hired dummies, and they’ve made them look bad. They’re at a major crossroad. Will they hire another dummy coach, another dumb GM? Or will they actually get it right? I’m betting.
That they screw up again because that’s who they are.
You take a look at the things you don’t like about yourself and you make changes.
But you can’t change everything overnight. You need to take steps.
If you don’t like yourself, let’s say you don’t like your body.
You need to then make a change. You’re not going to get another body.
So you have to cultivate and nourish and love the body that you have.
How do you do that?
It’s real simple. You go to the gym, you start working out. You start cultivating, you start eating better. You start making changes.
That’s the problem with people is that they don’t like something about themselves, they either going into victim mode or they just plain and simple don’t do anything about it. Or they get overwhelmed because there’s a few things they don’t like about themselves and they try to fix everything at once.
But it’s almost like when you take a car into the repair shop. You can’t fix everything all at once. It’s not possible at all to fix everything all at once. What you need to do in those situations is you need to fix the things that really bother you first.
Do it in small increments. That way then you gain new habits.
That way then you become more accustomed to whatever the new habit is.
It’s getting easier to fix yourself because there’s so much great information that’s out there to help you become the best version of yourself. In order to become the best version of yourself, you need to slowly make changes until you form the new habits.
That’s it. Real simple, real short read. Nothing deeper than that. No over-analyzation here.
I believe all of us are spectacular people. Flawed but spectacular. All of us on a daily basis have the opportunity to create whoever we want to be.
We can become whatever we want to become in life. There’s absolutely no limitation.
The only limitations that we really truly have in life –
– are the limitations that we put on ourselves.
The limitations that stop us from being the most spectacular loving powerful version of ourselves.
So, how do we become the most spectacular, amazing, beautiful person that we are?
I could tell you one of the ways that I did.
And I can’t yet thank somebody who doesn’t even know or even understand because they’re too young to understand that.
My daughter has taught me some of the most valuable beautiful lessons in life.
She taught me how to be a more loving person, she taught me how to be more honest, most open.
She taught me how to be more patient and more aware and more present.
She taught me that this journey in life is not just about myself and my hedonistic self-centered person that I was for a long, long time. She showed me the beauty of doing things that I would not normally do.
It started with going to the playground, a place that I never really enjoyed.
But the beauty of going to the playground was not about me. It was about watching her have — it was about watching her enjoy herself, it was about watching her have a good time. It was about her.
When life is so much about us, the beauty of having a child gives you the opportunity to learn that life is bigger than our little world and our little universe. She showed me all this stuff and I’m very appreciative for it.
One day when she gets older, I will thank her for the lessons and the journey that she gave me. It’s beautiful, to be able to grow outside yourself.
And that is what a child does for you.
It shows you how to grow outside yourself, it shows you how to grow outside your world, it shows you how to make sacrifices.
I spoil her more than I spoil myself. But by spoiling her, it brings me joy. It brings me jointly to be able to give her the things in life that she deserves to have, and the experiences, clothing, gifts, whatever it might be. It’s a beautiful thing.
And that’s how I grew more into the spectacular version of me.
How did you grow into the spectacular you?
What journey changed your life?
What journey opened up your eyes?
What journey allowed you to become the best version of you ever?
I’d love to here it. If you don’t want to post it down below, certainly you can post it and share it in another way. You can share it by sending me an e-mail because I’d love to hear how you became the most spectacular version of yourself. Or if you’re not there yet, what you’re doing to make yourself even more spectacular than you truly are right now.
I don’t know about you, but aren’t you sick and tired of webinars.
I’m so tired of webinars, I’m going to tell you why.
Every single webinar that you sign up for, for every single webinar that’s coming up, they will go through the same three step process.
They’ll get you to sign up.
They’ll tell you there are limited spaces.
They’ll send you another e-mail, reminding you, telling you that there are limited spaces on this webinar.
They’ll tell you things like the last time we did this some people couldn’t get in.
Those are the e-mails that lead up to the actual webinar. Then after the webinar, you’ll always see this e-mail.
Man, the guru, add the name of whatever guru it is.
Is going to do a replay tonight for all of you because the server crashed.
And because the server crashed, he or she is going to get back on right now, hurry, join in and he’ll give you a replay.
Man, the server crashed. I’ve heard that one many times.
Or there were so many people on that last one.
You want to know why? Because it makes no sense that they would have a server that couldn’t get everybody on.
Unless they were a novice and that novice didn’t know what they were doing, so they were cheap and only got a certain amount of slots.
Anybody who has promoted it, put ads on it, the server doesn’t crash. That’s just bullshit to get you to feel like you’re missing out on something.
It’s incredible. Limited space only.
He is getting back on and doing the webinar again. Bullshit.
The webinar is being recorded so all they have to do is put it up on a link and you can go do it anytime you want.
Then they play this game too. They have what they call an evergreen webinar.
One that just sits back and you can literally play at any time. But no.
They want to make it look like it’s going on for real.
They make you pick a time to be there for the webinar, which I understand because people are flaky, so you commit to a time and then they send you a series of e-mails to commit to a time, telling you this is your only chance. When in reality, you can sign up for that webinar 100 times and never show up because it’s just a replay. But there is a marketing game that makes you feel like if you commit to it, and then you don’t show up, and then they tell you, you didn’t commit to it, you feel guilty. So it guilts you into going in but in reality there’s a lot of times that the webinar is recorded. I just want to watch the webinar whenever I want because I know that it’s already recorded.
And I don’t need to be policed into making me believe that it’s not recorded.
It’s incredible, all the BS that goes on in the marketing game just to get your money out of your pocket.
People do that because they want your money. They want your money now. They need your money now.
So many games to sell a product, they tell you there’s only 13 left.
The next time you get stuck in the webinar thing, and let’s not even talk about the webinars that never give you enough information, they just basically give you minimal information. They feed you, they stroke you, and then they make you want to go buy more. That’s the whole point.
I get it, people need to make money, but wow, everybody is doing webinars. There’s on demand webinars. There’s companies that teach you how to do the webinar.
We are being webinared to death.
We used to be e-mail marketed stuff, now we’re being webinared stuff, and webinars are not going to last forever.
The next time you hear all the sales stuff, chuckle, laugh. Realize they’re just trying to sell you, which you probably know anyway, but still. Just laugh at the stupidity that they use because it will make you feel better whether you buy or not.
And I’m going to say it with pride, and I’m going to say it again.
None of his politically correct happy holiday crap that I’m so tired of hearing.
Christmas. Whether you believe in Jesus, and whether it’s a religious holiday for you, whatever.
It’s still Christmas. Probably the biggest holiday of the year. Where families get together. Where kids believe in a big man in a red suit and a beard. Where there’s magic in the air.
Where kids anticipate a white Christmas. Christmas is a beautiful thing. But we’ve ruined it with the happy holiday crap.
Why? Because we live in a world of political correctness. God, I don’t really want to offend the Jews by telling a Jewish person Merry Christmas.
Well, I’m Jewish. And if someone wishes me a merry Christmas, I wish them one back. I don’t think to myself, well how did they not know I wasn’t a Jew, and that they should have wished me happy Hannukah.
It’s stupid. We have found a way to take the magic out of something that’s magical. And for those of you who have kids, you totally understand where I’m coming from. Christmas is magic. It’s a beautiful thing.
Decorating the tree.
Watching It’s a Wonderful Life.
Hoping and praying it snows.
Not in LA, because if it snows, it’s usually ashes from a fire.
But don’t ruin it.
So in Christmas day today, I want to wish all of you a merry, merry Christmas.
Enjoy your family, enjoy your friends.
Enjoy the holidays, enjoy the eggnog, enjoy the food.
And laugh at the uptight people who can’t utter the words merry Christmas.
And , think about why you’re doing it. Because you’ve been brainwashed to do it.
Try to un-brainwash yourself and wish everybody a very, very, very Merry Christmas.