Welcome! My name is Giovanni. Over the last few years, I have acquired a significant amount of knowledge and vast practical experience on a number of topics that are absolutely essential for men to get the most out of their lives. My mission here is to help and inspire men all over the world to be completely the best version of themselves.
One of the best possible ways to enhance your outer confidence is to put yourself through challenging situations. Behavioral and emotional growth occurs mainly when you are outside of your comfort zone. In this article, I present you 18 steps to achieve a new level of outer confidence.
Before continuing, I suggest that you first start reading this article about the path to absolute confidence, if you haven’t already. Also, I recommend to first start working on your internal confidence before moving to work on your outer confidence, by performing daily the exercises that are explained here.
Then, once you are feeling more in touch with your internal confidence and you desire to start working on your outer confidence, perform the 18 steps described below.
These exercises should be performed to make yourself feel more “loose” and free, so that you’ll feel more confidence and less anxiety in your day to day interactions with women. In some of levels, you may think that you’re being silly, but that is the point of the challenge. You should not feel comfortable. In order to improve your confidence, you need to put yourself under different levels of stress.
In the first levels of the challenge, depending on your actual confidence level, you may feel that they are too easy for you. I strongly suggest you do them anyway. They get slightly more challenging as you go to the next ones, and overall they do not take too much time to complete. They are even fun to perform!
You should be able to perform all of the exercises in a row in about 1 hour. Thus, the ideal location is somewhere with a lot of people walking around. Think places like famous avenues in your city, shopping malls, places with lots of bars close together, parks, etc.
You don’t necessarily need to complete all of the 18 steps on your first try. You can always take the challenge again and try to improve on the levels that you didn’t feel comfortable before. However, you should always strive to do your best.
Now, before starting it, you can do the internal confidence exercises, shower, listen to some good music to get a little pumped up. I know some of you will think about drinking some alcohol to warm up a bit, but I suggest you don’t. If you really want to work on your outer confidence, you should do it sober. Don’t hide behind anything. Be fully conscious and you’ll know where you need to improve.
The Challenge for Ultimate Outer ConfidenceLevel 1: Eye Contact
Beginning with what is probably the most important element of social interactions: eye contact. For this exercise, simply make eye contact with 3 people and hold it. Preferably, you should hold it for as long as possible, until they look again first. Try to not look away first. If someone approaches you or starts to talk to you as a consequence of you looking at them, you can make up anything, or say anything. It doesn’t matter for this exercise. All you got to do is look at 3 people right in the eyes! Try to remember what color is the eye from each one that you looked at. For additional tips about eye contact, see here.
Level 2: Ask the Time
For this one, simply go up to a person and ask them what time is it. If you have a watch in your wrist, you should probably take it off before doing this. I know that you have a cellphone and that you could just look at the time in there. But this is not the point of the exercise. If you have to, just pretend that your cellphone battery is over, and go ask someone.
Level 3: Where is ____
This one is a classic. Go up to a person and ask directions to somewhere. Preferably some well-known place or nearby street so the other person has better odds of knowing where is it. You can ask for example where is the nearest McDonalds, Starbucks, shopping mall, man’s clothes store, gym, metro station or anything.
Level 4: Where is ___ (longer)
Now you should do exactly what you did on Level 3, but this time you should aim to make the interaction last a bit longer. So after the person is finished giving you the directions to the place you asked, you should come up with any small talk to prolong your conversation. Try to talk about anything for 30 seconds. It can be clarifying the directions, talking about the weather, giving some compliment to the person, anything that you want.
Level 5: Store Talk
Enter any store and make some small talk with a store clerk for about 2 minutes. You can ask something about the store, about some product, or even anything else that you want with the vendor. Make the interaction last for 2 minutes. Preferably it should not be only the clerk talking straight for 2 minutes trying to sell you something. Be curious, ask questions. For example, if you are in a cellphone store, ask them what cellphone they personally use and why.
Level 6: The Rapport Seeker
For this one, you should start a conversation with someone that is a rapport seeker, such as people trying to sell you something in the streets, people giving away flyers, people trying to get you to donate money, even homeless people. You should aim to engage in conversation with them for 3 minutes, without doing what they want you to do. So, instead of just doing the donation/giving away a coin and leaving, try to stimulate conversation for 3 minutes without doing it.
Level 7: Store Talk 2
For this exercise, enter a store again, preferably a crowded one and try to find a clerk that seems to be getting a fair amount of attention from customers. It can be a cashier for instance. Then, start to talk about anything with the seller like in Level 5. But this time, you should continue talking even when you perceive that another customer is waiting to speak with the clerk. The point here is obviously not to be an asshole, but actually feel the pressure of another person (the other customer waiting) and even so continue doing what you’re doing. There is not a time threshold for this level, but you should at least try to keep talking after you’ve felt the pressure for a little bit. If the clerk or the other customer gets pissed off or dismisses you, no need to feel bad about it.
Level 8: Safe Joke
For this one, simply tell a joke to a group of people that you already know (that’s why it’s safe). If you went somewhere that you don’t know anybody, pull out your phone and send a voice message (no texting allowed obviously) to a group of friends/family telling a joke. It doesn’t matter what is the joke or their reaction.
Level 9: Modest Dancer
Dance just a little in a public place. It should be somewhere with a considerable amount of people. If you do it in a quiet library where there is nobody looking at you it doesn’t count. Preferably in a metro station, crowded avenue, crowded store, etc. However, don’t dance too much. Just little bounces, finger snaps and slight head movements.
Level 10: The Walking Singer
For this one, walk around a street singing. You don’t need to shout, but don’t speak in an inaudible way either. Normal voice level is fine. It can be any song that you like. If you prefer, you can start by using earplugs on your first times doing this level, but later on, try to do it without them.
Level 11: Be Funny
Now things start to get interesting in this quest for outer confidence! After doing the first 10 levels you should be feeling nice and socially warmed up. For this level, go up to any stranger and start to talk with them. You should try to be funny and make the person laugh. You can’t leave the interaction until the person laughs. It should be a genuine laugh, or at least close to it, and not a laugh of awkwardness. If the person leaves without laughing, repeat with another person until you can do it. Anything to make the other person laugh is allowed! You can say funny stuff, mimic animals, make a grimace with your face, even start laughing hysterically yourself to make him/her laugh.
Level 12: The Invasion
Go up to a group of people that you don’t know and stay close to them, listening to their conversation. Listen to it for 30 to 60 seconds. Then, as soon as you see an opening, enter in the middle of the conversation saying something related to what they were saying, acting normally as if you had been in the conversation this whole time. You should ideally do this to a group of people that is fixed somewhere instead of walking.
Level 13: The Dancer
Go to a public place with a lot of people, such as a metro station or crowded street, and start dancing like there is no tomorrow. You can use earplugs in the first times that you do this level, but try to do without them eventually. Don’t hold back on the dance – show what you’ve got! It doesn’t matter how other people react. Just free yourself. There is no time threshold for this, but you should feel the pressure of people looking at you and be able to continue dancing with all that you have.
Level 14: Safe Embarrassing Memory
Recall an embarrassing memory of yours in front of a group of people that you know or that you feel comfortable with, and then laugh at yourself. If you are in a place where you don’t know anyone, again use your cellphone to send a voice message (no texting) to a group of friends about your embarrassing memory. It can be anything that you feel embarrassed about, such as the time that you were networking with some professional people in a coffee break and then you spilled all that coffee in your white shirt, or when you were 13 and your parents caught you with the hand on the meat in your unlocked bedroom.
Level 15: Embarrassing Memory
Go talk with a stranger and in the middle of the conversation recall your embarrassing memory.
Level 16: The Joke
Go up to a group of random people (at least 2 persons) in a random place and tell a joke to them.
Level 17: The Moonwalk
Go to a group of strangers and start to moonwalk in circles around them.
Level 18: The Secret
For the final level, walk up to a person that you don’t know and tell them a deep and dark secret of yours. Possible examples: tell them you have a lot of pubic hair; you ate chocolate ice cream all alone watching Harry Potter last Saturday night; you are sexually attracted to dwarf girls; once you felt happy when one of your friends failed at a course, etc. It can be anything that you wouldn’t tell people in your social circle, unless they were very intimate with you.
Repeating and Improving for More Outer Confidence
If you manage to complete all of the 18 levels, my congratulations! Not everybody has the courage to go through all that.
However, you should not just do it once and think that you don’t need to challenge yourself anymore. Actually, if you are SERIOUS about getting killer outer confidence and improving your game with women, I recommend you to do this challenge every week. Maybe even twice per week if you want to get good fast.
Moreover, to keep track of your progress, you can rate your performance on each level from a scale of 0 to 10. 0 means that you didn’t do the exercise; 1 means that you felt absolutely terrified while doing it; 10 means that you did it with a lot of comfort and didn’t feel anxiety. You should build a spreadsheet that can be easily accessible from your cellphone, or even take notes while you do each level, so you score yourself for each of them. Don’t worry about getting bad scores on the beginning. It’s not a competition. It’s YOU getting better each time.
Each time you repeat the challenge, try to obtain a higher sum of all of the scores than you did on your last attempt. If you come to a point where you can obtain at least a 9 in all of the levels, you will have VERY high outer confidence, and you will definitively feel less anxiety while meeting women, while also giving you more freedom in your life!
This challenge is certainly one of the best ways to upgrade your outer confidence gradually until you achieve beast levels. At the same time that you perform the challenge weekly, I recommend you to also go out to meet girls. You’ll see how you’ll start to improve after you do it.
Have you tried it? How did you feel in terms of improving your outer confidence? Share in the comments your experience!
You probably already know that confidence is key to being successful with women. If you take it one step further, you can achieve absolute confidence, which is higher than the average level of confidence.
If you look at other posts of this blog you’ll quickly discover that this is one of the main ingredients for being a real badass. You have every reason in the world to WANT to improve your confidence.
With greater confidence, although you may still experience fear, you WILL act and express yourself freely regardless of it. That is the definition of confidence that I like the most. Taking some attitude towards what you want, independent of any fears or anxiety.
If gaining the SKILLS to seduce girls like this is not enough for you to get motivated to improve your confidence, I don’t know if nothing else will be.
Now, put on some awesome music to continue. I suggest this one:
Pyramid - See You In The Other Side - YouTube
The Best News Ever
I’m about to give you the best news that you’ve probably received in your life.
Yes, that’s right.
The good news is that YOU CAN ALWAYS GET BETTER.
That should be absolutely the best thing that you could ever know in this world. It was for me when I discovered this.
This implies that you have POWER over yourself and your results in life. They are in your hands.
You can’t blame your mother, or your father, or the government, or your boss, or your job, or your university for how you currently feel and your current outcomes.
Confidence is not always something that you are born with, but IT DOESN’T MATTER. You can start from timid, shy, quiet, extremely introvert, and get to a level where you are extremely confident. You can gradually and progressively develop it.
This happens because it is a SKILL. It is something that you can learn, practice and perfect.
And I mean this with everything I got because it was when I realized this that I changed my whole life. I doubted it at first, but eventually, I proved that it was POSSIBLE. I went from a very shy person, about 8 years ago, to being someone who is in total control of his life, dating and hooking up with girls that I would never dream of before.
You need to understand that you can do it too.
The Path is Forever
No matter how many excuses your mind will come up with (because it will), you need to continue believing this. FOREVER and until you die. You need to believe that you can get better and act on it.
You should pursue your development always. No matter what is your appearance, or how much money you’ve got, or where you live, or which phase you are in your life right now. It doesn’t matter if you are still poor, if you are in bad shape, if you are unemployed or if you have just broken up with your girlfriend.
Maybe your mind comes up with so many excuses to not develop yourself and be stuck, that you need to hear it from someone. And I am here to tell you that is IS possible to get VERY confident, no matter what is your level right now.
I’ve seen it all. Guys who are fat dating very hot girls. Dudes who are very skinny and look like “nerds” doing it with perfection. Guys who earn less money than the girl. Men who are not employed. Guys who are shorter than the girl. Confidence trumps above all of that.
The Reality About Becoming Confident
Of course, you can’t assume that just by being confident every problem of your life will be solved. For example, you can’t expect to date 9s and 10s if you have a stinking breath, or if you are morbidly obese. But assuring that these type of things are handled, confidence is what will give you the biggest leap ever.
I’m not telling you that the process of getting very confident is gonna be easy or fast. By the contrary. To get to an advanced level it takes time. If you have access to the RIGHT source of information, this time can be significantly reduced and you can develop much faster.
Also, many times you’ll think you’re not capable. But you know what? This is your path as a man. This JOURNEY of developing yourself should be the most exciting and thrilling thing ever. Embrace it and keep with it until your last breath. Never back down. Damn, just by writing this I’m getting chills.
To give you an awesome example, pause the music that is playing and have a look at the clip below:
Vicky Christina Barcelona (my favorite scene) - YouTube
Pay close attention to Bardem’s acting in this scene. The way he moves, his facial expressions, eye contact, his intentions, responses, and bold attitude. Try to imagine what he is feeling. That is absolute confidence. And that is possible to be achieved. You can actually model what successful guys do to be more confident.
Absolute Confidence is a FEELING
Some researches estimate that around 80% of adults are not confident. So if you’re there, know that you are not alone. For the remaining 20%, although it’s very hard to estimate, probably about 18% have an average level of confidence, which is “normal” confidence.
For the remaining 2%, they have something else. They turn the skill of confidence into a FEELING. They feel confident with so much certainty not only in their minds but also in their bodies. It’s as if the feeling is so intense that it spreads to every cell. You sense this amazing vibe and it seems like you have superpowers.
It’s this absolute confidence that I talk about in this blog. The confidence that surpasses the average one.
With normal confidence, you can approach girls and even make them feel attracted to you.
With absolute confidence, you can spark attraction in them even quicker, make them fall in love with you and make THEM actually chase you. It’s as if you have a rare kind of energy that acts like a drug, and they can’t get enough of it.
Have a look at this scene:
My Best Friends Girl - Funny Bar Scene - YouTube
Even though it has low quality, try to perceive the way he is FEELING. Ignore the way too forced reaction from women while he is walking, but the expression on his face and his vibe are golden.
This is the VIBE. A sensation that you are unstoppable mixed with a sense of humor and a man’s attitude.
The Sources of Confidence
Your confidence derives from two sources: internal and external.
Internal: This involves your thoughts about yourself, beliefs in life, values and principles. E.g. you look at your own eyes in the mirror and think you’re a real badass. Or you see a stunning girl walking in the streets and you think “If I go talk to her, I’d definitely make her day”.
External: Your behaviors, actions, competences and results in life. E.g. maintaining firm, prolonged and relaxed eye contact; making out and hooking up with girls; following your passions in life.
You need to back up your confidence with BOTH sources to make it huge and bullet-proof.
If you just develop your internal confidence, you may have an excellent inner game, you pump yourself up, you feel awesome and your mind is crafted for success. But, if you don’t put all that into practice and actually get results, you may start to doubt yourself. Am I really getting confident? Why am I not getting results?
On the other hand, if you focus only on developing the external confidence, you may get results from time to time, but probably you won’t know exactly how you did. It’s not consistent, sometimes you do well, sometimes bad. Or maybe you end up getting worn out because you don’t have goals in life or it feels like a piece of you is internally missing. If you also develop your internal confidence, you will have a solid foundation for getting good results consistently.
The Strategy to Absolute Confidence
In your path to absolute confidence, I recommend you to implement daily habits that will gradually work on your mind and SHAPE you into the new you.
Small things that you do every day will get you far. If you do them consistently, in 1 year from now you’ll be a completely different person.
The best strategy is to begin by focusing on your internal confidence. By working on that consistently and repeatedly, you’ll develop a foundation for everything else.
Then, start implementing external strategies to get you further and beyond. In case you fail, get rejected, blown out, or whatever, you’ll start to see that it doesn’t affect you as it did before. Because now you’ll have an internal confidence to back you up.
Think of the blue as blocks of internal confidence, and the red as blocks of external confidence. You begin by working on your internal confidence on your own, then you experiment by applying some techniques and getting results for your external confidence. This will improve also your internal confidence because if you take ACTION, you start to change your own self-image. Then you repeat this cycle, and each time you do it you’ll start to get HIGHER results and HIGHER confidence. This is the path to absolute confidence.
Eventually, you’ll get to a point where you are so confident, that you’ll be able to do what you saw on the videos above.
The hardest part? You doing it every day, forever! Consistency is key.
I’m Ready To Board This Path
Now, I understand that the majority of advice about confidence out there is just major bullshit. Things like “you just have to overcome your fears”, “you should get out of your comfort zone”, “Stop the negative thoughts”. Fuck that. This kind of advice doesn’t help with anything. It is not specific and practical enough.
Moreover, the general advice about confidence can just get you to the average confidence level, but little is talked about how to achieve absolute levels of confidence.
I bet you must be asking yourself now “Ok, so how can I develop absolute confidence”?
I’m glad you asked.
In this blog, I’m all about PRACTICAL stuff, and I have no intentions of letting you with just a bunch of theory without concrete ways to implement it.
I’ve got a lot of content and tips to give, so I’ll spread it out over a series of posts about confidence.
For beginner exercises on developing your INTERNAL confidence, check out this article.
If you already feel prepared to work on your EXTERNAL confidence, also check out this one.
As a final reminder, don’t rush into applying all of the 5 flirting techniques below at the same time!
Instead, pick one of them, and start implementing them on your flirty conversations. Then, practice until you get good at that one, and then pick another one and repeat.
If you try to use all of them at once without practicing
before, you may be overloaded with info in your head.
Now, let’s see the techniques!
The 5 Best Flirting Techniques to Make Girls Feel Attracted
Projections of the Future
Future projections are funny and silly activities that you
invent that she and you are going to do together in the future.
This is a fascinating technique used by the best seducers in
the world since long ago, because it hits her emotions strongly without her
even noticing it.
Let’s say that she tells you that she is a big fan of hiking, and so are you. Then, you could say that you are going to take her to a hike in this beautiful mountain nearby. You tell her the details, such as: the music you two are going to sing in the car together on your way there; the snacks you’ll bring for the both of you; the way you’re going to carry her on your arms once she gets too exhausted to continue; etc.
While you are telling her all that, her brain can’t really
tell the difference between what she is imagining and the reality. So she feels
in a very similar way compared to what she would actually feel if you two did
that together. That is absolutely powerful.
Ideally, use this technique once you know about some
commonality that you share. Such as: you two love dogs, you two like to go on
outdoor adventures, you two love EDM festivals, you two love Japanese
ALWAYS be a dominant guy and draw her to your reality. Never suggest going along with her on what she’ll do. Instead, bring her to your world.
“I love traveling so much! I enjoy beaches more than anything, but I never went to any amazing and fantastic beach before…”
“That’s awesome to know, because I’m an unconditional lover of beaches
myself! Have you ever seen those paradise beaches in Thailand?”
“I’ve seen some pictures, that would be my dream!”
“So here is what’s gonna happen. Next month, in a day you won’t know, I’ll
show up with my jet in your work and we are going to fly to a tropical island
in Thailand. Then we’ll stay in a cozy cabana right in front of the beach and
you’ll meet my pet elephants. We will ride the elephants on the border of the
beach while eating ice cream and then we will take a swim with them. After
that, I’ll cook some lasagna for us and we’ll eat it while we marathon some How
I Met Your Mother episodes”.
Notice the essentials that you saw before:
I’m talking about illogical and fun stuff
(flying her to Thailand on a jet and swimming with elephants);
Taking the lead and being dominant (I’m the one
who will take her there, and it’s my cabana and my pet elephants)
And she’ll just come along into my reality while
not having to worry about anything.
2. Projections of The Past
Past projection flirting techniques are pretty close to the one above, but in this case, you’ll make projections about the PAST of you and her together. Which is totally made up, of course.
So, making past projections has a very similar effect on her emotions compared to future projections. Her emotional brain can’t really tell the difference between the reality and the memory that you’re telling her that the two of you shared on the past.
You can use this, for instance, when you and the girl start to talk to another person (your friend/her friend/a stranger). Then, you can tell the other person that the girl is your wife or girlfriend.
Or also, you may bring up a fake discussion with her based
on a supposed fact that happened in the past between you two.
You two are getting divorced now because she
doesn’t know who is _____ (your favorite movie actor, book writer, DJ, etc.)
You are trying to influence her on something and
you mention the fact that you two have known each other for 5 years, since that
PSY 101 class
She is trying to influence you on something, but
you remind her that you don’t really trust her because of what happened 3 years
ago when you two did that thing together and then she disappeared/got lost/got
sick or whatever.
The main point is: come up with funny memories or memories
that involve you two romantically from the past, such as a wedding or proposal.
You’re talking to this cute chick in a nightclub and your friend comes to talk to you. You might say:
“Hey man, I didn’t tell you before, but this is my wife
<girl starts to laugh and doesn’t know what to say or she
may agree with you and play along>
“We met 4 years ago while we were taking a cooking class together.
We prepared a lobster together, it was our first time doing that and she was so
clumsy. One moment she accidentally let the lobster fall on the floor, so I
kneeled to pick it up and then she kept staring at me in such a way for some
reason. While I was holding the lobster I looked back at her and then I knew
she was the one.”
Always maintain your frame and use it in a lighthearted way.
If she plays along, even better!
3. Fake Disqualifiers
Man, I really love this technique.
Fake disqualifiers are basically false reasons of why she
and you wouldn’t work out.
Let’s take a look very quickly at one of the basics of human
If you don’t have something, you will always want it more
than if you already own it. When you think about your dream, you probably want
it very much. However, after you buy, the charm may last for a few weeks, or at
best, some months. But then, it starts to fade away.
Now, if you CAN’T have something, you can bet you will want it pretty fucking much. You will think about it all the time.
You can use this principle with girls to make them want you and even CHASE you. That’s what being a challenge means.
You should just be careful to no point out a challenge or
barrier that is SO big that she will feel unmotivated to deal with it. For
example, if you were travelling in Brazil and matched a girl in Tinder there,
but already left to another country, the distance barrier is so big that she
won’t bother investing in you.
“We would probably never work out. I can see that you are the jealous type”
“You know, you are fun and all, but it’s just too bad we’re not attracted to each other”
“I should tell you that I think that you are very interesting. It’s just a bummer that I don’t get along with brunettes…we always end up fighting about who’s going to end up on top”
(After she says something you don’t like…or something you like too damn much): “God, I can’t even talk to you anymore”
If you’re with her in a bar or nightclub, lead her around the place trying to find a “nice” guy, because she and you are too incompatible (I only recommend you doing this if you are more advanced in your game though)
Accuse her of only wanting to talk to you because of your body/sexiness. Tell her that all girls can’t see through the real you and comprehend your emotions, because all of them only treats you as a sexual object.
An important sidenote: fake disqualifiers only work if you say them in a playful and challenging way, without seeking ant reaction from her. If you say it too seriously or in a needy way, it can backfire.
4. Being Just a Little Cockier than You Should Be
This flirting technique involves stating or asking questions in a way that implies that you (or you two) are absolutely awesome.
Used correctly, you’ll show her that you are funny, smart and a little more confident than what you should be, which is GOLDEN.
As a side note, I recommend you doing these flirting techniques very sparingly, especially if you are saying something about yourself. If you use it too much, you also risk coming across as egotistic and arrogant. But if you do it sporadically, she’ll love it.
On the other hand, when you also involve her in your
statements, you can use it much more.
Examples of statements about you
(you and her are walking around and you see a mirror, you stop and look at your reflex and say): “God, look at that, so sexy (posing for yourself)”
“So, how incredible do I look in this blazer?”
“When you woke up this morning you didn’t imagine you’d be walking side by side with a guy like this, did you?”
Examples of statements also involving her
(while you and her are seated or walking around together): “Look at all these people. Everybody is just dying of jealousy of you and me. We are just too interesting and charming for society. It’s too much for them”
“Do you think that the coolest people here should talk to each other?” (GREAT OPPENER)
“We could never date each other. Just imagine how many people would be disappointed if the two most fun and sexy persons are not single anymore…” (mixed with fake disqualifier)
As always, use this flirting technique with a fun vibe. For this one, also use a big smirk since you’ll be obviously cocky. And never seek her reaction. Take a look at this article for more about the facial expression you should use.
So there you have it, four epic flirting techniques:
Projections about the future with her
Projections on the past with her
Using fake disqualifiers
Being a little more cocky than you should be
Again, remember to implement these flirting techniques separately in your arsenal, and once you’re good in using one, add another.
Once you master all the four, you’ll have awesome flirting
Did you like the flirting techniques? Do you have any other
great methods? Share them on the comments!
P.s. for more conversational tactics to use while flirting, be sure to check out the FREE E-book below, which gives you five additional techniques to use to attract girls!
This is a date story of how I made a stunning girl get addicted to me.
I had gotten her phone number quickly one weekend in the streets shortly after leaving the gym. The interaction wasn’t long enough to get her all attracted, so I made sure to put my A game in my texts.
All I needed was to make her curious enough to go out with me. It worked. So off I went on a warm May night to pick her up on her home.
(This post is mainly about the story of this date that I went, however, I still want to give some key inputs for you. As the purpose of this blog is to tell you solely the TRUTH and reality of things, if you have a car and are able to pick up a girl on her home, you will stand out. Not all girls will agree with this on the first date, but if she does, that already means a good sign from her. More about this in future posts).
This was no ordinary girl. She certainly was one level above other girls that I used to date up to that point, at least in terms of looks. However, she was about to discover that I was no ordinary man either. Totally the opposite.
Before leaving, I took a good shower, dressed up nicely, used a killer perfume, had a light dinner, looked myself in the eyes in the mirror and knew that I was going to blow her world that day. In the car, I went singing some songs to loosen up the best I could while following the GPS route to her house.
Date Story – Part I
After arriving, I texted her to come. She lived with her mother, and apparently, she hadn’t told her anything about our date. I saw her sneaking her way out to the front gate.
I was standing in front of my car, leaning back on it, and looking to the side to make sure she was going to land her eyes on me before I looked at her. When I looked at her coming in my direction, I gave a side smile and fixed my eyes on hers, holding the temptation to look at her cleavage. She was stunning. Wearing a short dress that really valued her curves, she was looking at me with those light brown eyes with a cute smile.
G: So this is the famous girl who likes tanning for 10 hours every day! (while giving her a slow kiss on the cheek)
J: Hahaha I don’t do that much! Let’s get out of here fast because my mother can’t see me!
G: Oh my god. I can’t believe it. You still follow orders from your mom? Please tell me that you are over 18 years old… (I said this with an obviously teasing tone. I motion for her to go in the direction of the car and open the passenger’s door for her)
J: Of course I am!! I am 21 years old for your information! (after she sits, I close the door in her face after her saying that and walk around to my seat)
G: Hm you better not fool me Julia hahaha. Well, let’s go to this place I told you about. You said you were gonna pay for me right?! (We had agreed before the date to go for some ice cream bowl in a cozy place since she said that she was not drinking alcohol at that time. I put on some playlist on my cell phone that I had already set up beforehand)
J: Me?? I didn’t say anything!! (She gives me a light slap on the shoulder)
G: See? Fooling me again. You’re full of shit haha.
Up to this point, I teased her a lot, ALWAYS with a sly smile on my face and looking deeply into her eyes so she knows that I’m not really serious. I saw that she was also smiling and liking it, that’s why I did it many times.
I put the place on the GPS and then we started to make our way until there. Driving, paying attention to the road, paying attention to what she is saying, her body signals, her eye signals, her questions and looking at her from time to time while doing all that is a skill that you develop with practice, especially because you want to maintain a good vibe while taking her to your destination. If you stay silent at this point you could kill the vibe and make it awkward. I prefer not to drive too fast to be able to focus more on the interaction.
On our way there, we talk about some basic stuff about her, such as with who she lived, if she got along well with them, how big was her family, and I told her a bit about my family as well.
KEY POINT: a few moments, I touched her leg smoothly for about a second while I was talking. As you can’t touch her elbows/shoulders with your hand because of the way you’re seated in the car, this is the perfect excuse to touch her legs slightly and initiate the creation of sexual tension. DON’T leave your hand there for more than half a second. It’s too early for that (unless she is looking at you like she already wants to fuck you…)
After we arrived and parked, I took off my seatbelt but didn’t leave the car yet. Never be in a hurry. I could tell she was liking the interaction since she also didn’t open her door yet. Perfect. She was following my lead. Always BE the dominant part in the date. She is like a lost puppy wanting some good vibes and emotions. Don’t be intimidated by her hot looks. YOU are the roller coaster that will take her through all those good feelings. You are the leader in this.
G: Look (showing her my cell phone). These are my dogs. They are my beloved ones!
J: Ohh my god! They are so cute!!
G: I adore them so much! This one is named Sheila and this one Atila.
J: I wish I had dogs also, but my mom will never let me…
G: Let’s steal one for you. One chihuahua that will never stop barking like the one from Legally Blonde.
J: Hahahaha nooo I want another one!!
G: Hahaha. Look, mine took a shower yesterday. They have such a good smell now. This morning I was just sniffing them and it felt so good. Good smells are a weakness of mine. I wonder if you have one also… (Then I lean into her a bit and smell her neck for about 3 seconds. I saw that she was being receptive, so I did this without asking any permission. If she was more closed I wouldn’t have done this).
G: Hmm I like it. (I say that while leaning back to my seat. I see that she is smiling like she can’t believe what I just did). But don’t get any ideas (I blink at her with one eye with a smile and turn away to leave the car, without waiting for her response). I’ll open your door. (After I close my door, I open hers and wait for her to come out).
J: What a gentleman haha.
G: On some occasions, I’m gentle, on other occasions I’m more…mean. (naughty smile, gazing her)
J: What does that mean? (looking kinda surprised)
For some reason, I felt that she didn’t really like what I had just said. This was kind of a test. Instead of saying “Humm interesting!/I like that/anything more positive”, she kind of challenged what I just had said. Or she just didn’t have a dirty mind as I do. In either case, if I had insisted on that, saying something like “In the bedroom I mean/I like to go wild/I’ll spank your ass and you’ll see”, she would probably feel some level of discomfort.
It was better to tone down the sexual innuendo and try it again later. At the same time, I couldn’t be apologetic or she would see that I have a weak frame. In these cases, the easiest way out is to just completely change the subject and move along.
G: This means that I’m hungry. Come on! (I start walking slowly in front of her so she follows me)
When we are about to cross the street:
G: Give me your hand to cross. I don’t want you getting hit by cars and blaming me for that later Julia… (I extend my hand with the palm facing backward for her to grab it – lead always! This also makes her feel like a child and to trust you more)
J: Hahaha you are stupid (giving me her hand and lacing her fingers with mine)
The place was a nice and cozy bistro. After entering, I quickly scanned the place to search for a more isolated table. Fortunately, there was an outside garden with a few tables with nobody in there. I went walking in the front while she followed me.
Now a very important thing. If you sit across the table on a date, you’re pretty much fucked. There is an obstacle between you and the girl (the table), which makes it very hard for you to touch her and be more intimate. ALWAYS sit close to her on dates, so you can easily touch her when you want.
At that point, I could tell she was investing in the interaction and showing signals of interest, so I just told her where to sit. She obliged, and then I sit next to her. Perfect. This is why you should avoid to meet her on a date directly in the place where you are going. If she is not feeling comfortable she’ll want to sit across you. If you meet her before and you go to the destination together, you’ll already arrive there feeling more connected.
The waiter came and we ordered a petit gateau to eat together.
I’m going to cut this date story here for now as it’s already getting pretty long. You can find part II of the date story by clicking here.
Any suggestions on how to improve the structure/style of these date stories will be appreciated.
Do you have any interesting date stories to share? Feel free to use the comments for that!
If you want to attract girls, you definitely need to learn how to flirt with the right body language and the best vibe.
There are many different definitions out there, but I define flirting as the art of talking with a girl in such a charming, challenging, exciting, sexy and provocative way, that she can’t help but start to feel very into you.
It is not a single action that you take or word that you say. It is a combination of your body language, facial expressions, vocal tonality, words, vibe, emotional state, intent and frame that composes flirting.
Now, don’t think that flirting is a complex thing. It isn’t.
However, many of us can go years without knowing how to do it, while all of the skills that you need are already inside of you.
This happened to me for many years before I was good with girls. I could hold cool conversations with my buddies, but with girls…I just didn’t know how to flirt with them. I used to get into the friend zone constantly due to the lack of such knowledge.
After many years of experience and practice, I can say confidently that I’ve mastered this fine art, and in this article, I’ll share with you 4 body language and 5 vibing tips for you to flirt that I personally use all the time.
How to Flirt With Body Language
The first and most important element of flirting is your body language, including facial expressions and vocal tonality.
If you do this wrong, you can say absolutely the smartest, wittiest, funniest or most provocative thing in the world, and it still may not have any effect.
On the other hand, if you have amazing body language, facial expressions and vocal tonality, you can say some utter bullshit or nonsense and still get her hooked.
Such is the importance of non-verbal communication in flirting.
Now, let’s take a look at the essential components of how to flirt.
Look Her Strongly in The Eyes
This is the most important factor. You can’t flirt properly with a girl if you’re not looking deep right into her eyes. And I mean it.
Don’t just look at her in any way. Look confidently right in her pupils like a man, and while you look at her, think “This girl has no idea how hard I’m gonna make out with her later”. Keep your eyes slightly squeezed, like you know a secret that she does not.
This is so important for flirting that I’ve written an entire article about eye contact here.
Smile in a Knowing Way
Smiling is something that goes perfectly in hand with strong eye contact. You don’t need to open your mouth in a large and wide smile showing all of your teeth. Actually, smiling just a little with your lips closed or while you talk works better.
You should smile in a sly or even naughty way, with one corner of your mouth. I recommend going to the mirror and practicing the best flirtatious smile you can make. Remember that it should be something subtle, not exaggerated.
Hold Yourself Centered
There isn’t a specific and definitive body language that you should adopt to flirt with a girl. Some guys obsess over the position of their hands, the direction of their feet, the angle their bodies are making…forget that crap.
I bet you that I can be seated, with my arms crossed and my legs crossed and still create amazing sexual tension with a girl, just by the way I look at her with a provocative smile, the way that I speak and with proper posture.
What you should always have in good form is your posture. Whether you are standing or seated, always maintain a straight column, keep your shoulders relaxed and do not slouch your head forward. Maintain your head and your body centered in a relaxed way.
When you talk to her, lift your head up slightly more than what is normal (not so much to the point of looking arrogant) to look at her.
And that’s it.
Having good posture, you can even keep your hands and feet open in any awkward way, but if you have a confident gaze and smile, it doesn’t really matter much.
What I recommend you to do, however, is to usually plant your feet wide apart. This means: “I’m dominant and not afraid to expose my balls”. Also, keep your arms and hands relaxed to your sides, using them to make gestures while you speak.
Speak With The Right Tonality
Many guys don’t realize that their vocal tonality can convey MORE than the actual words that they are speaking.
Are you speaking to her in an anxious, rushed, quiet, nervous tone? That’s not good.
You see, the way that you talk usually represents what you are feeling inside. And definitely, you don’t want to come across as weak, shy, anxious, nervous or terrified when flirting.
Quite the opposite. You want to transmit confidence, dominance, relaxation, firmness. In some occasions, you’ll want to convey enthusiasm, passion, adventure, excitation, and arousal.
To do that, speak in a normal to slow pace (the slower, the more intense). You shouldn’t speak quietly, but either scream loudly. You should aim to speak at a normal volume (Hint: if you are shy, it is LOUDER than what you think it is normal).
Finally, you should seek to talk with what is called a rapport-breaking voice tone or a neutral voice tone, but never with a rapport-seeking tonality.
Rapport-seeking tonality is when you end sentences with the tone going up. Think of a child asking her mother: “Mom, we are going to eat chocolate today, RIGHT?”
Neutral tonality is when you don’t convey any emotions. For example, when you order a coffee at Starbucks: “I’d like a black coffee, please”.
Rapport-breaking tonality is when you speak in a way that you finish sentences with the tone going down. You speak that way when you’re pretty damn sure of what you’re talking about. Like there is no question of its veracity. Think when you’re talking to your buddy. You may say something with much certainty in a way that does not seek any response. “I know you do.”
To do a rapport-breaking tonality in the right way, see this video:
Breaking Rapport - RSD Julien. - YouTube
The Vibe of Flirting
If you use correctly the body language and vocal tonality tactics above you’ll already be pretty good at flirting.
However, if you want to truly master it and become invincible, you need to FEEL the right vibe. You need to BE a flirt.
The state of mind that you should have while flirting is a combination of emotions: dominance, confidence, certainty of your value, challenging and fun. Let’s expand on each of those:
Dominate the Interaction
Whenever two people meet, there is an unconscious battle going on to see who is going to be more dominant and who is going to be more submissive.
When flirting, you certainly want to be in the dominant role. Be the one who leads the interaction. Introduce new topics and take the conversation to where you want. Do not look impressed or react too much from what she says. Make her react to you.
This definitely doesn’t mean that you have to be cold and serious. On the contrary. Real dominance is when you open yourself. You talk freely about whatever you want, you have nothing to hide and you set the frame of the interaction.
When flirting, always trust yourself and whatever you’re saying. You can be saying some utter bullshit, but if you speak in a way sure of yourself, it doesn’t really matter to the girl.
This is pretty awesome and crazy at the same time. Once I was explaining to a girl about an RPG game that I used to play when I was a child. If it was any other guy she probably would have thought “Damn he’s such a gamer nerd, I’m gonna friend zone him”. However, I spoke with such passion and enthusiasm that she felt the same about it. Minutes after, we were making out.
Certainty of Your Value
Always know and be absolutely certain of your value.
If you really think about it, nobody knows you as much as YOU. So how can anyone make any judgment on you better than yourself? NO one can.
For this to really work, you need to view yourself as a high-value person first.
So work on yourself. Develop all the skills that you want and need. Go to college, get high grades, get a good job, make a lot of money, get up early every day, meditate, go study abroad, learn how to dance, learn a fight, learn how to fix broken stuff in your house, go to the gym, play sports, read a lot, learn new languages, surround yourself with awesome people, love your family, learn how to cook listen to music that you love, buy your own car, buy your own house, achieve a hundred thousand bucks in your investments, take your family to a road trip, go after all your goals…LIVE.
Gather as many experiences as possible, and you WILL know your value. Because you will know your competencies and what you’re good at.
When you know yourself SO well that you know every strength and weakness, you will be pretty certain of your value. And then, no matter how cute the chick in front of you is, she can’t shake you. You are a rock.
I love this one.
Most girls are used to guys chasing them, kissing their ass, complimenting them constantly, offering free gifts…they feel as if they are the challenge. So they make guys work for them, and in the end…these guys don’t get them.
On the opposite side, real studs make girls chase them. The girls feel that such guys are a challenge, and man, this excites them so much.
So be a challenge. Don’t be an easy guy. If a girl wants something from you, NEVER give it to her so easily. Make her earn it.
If she wants you to buy a drink for her, make her do something for it. Once I made a girl imitate a chicken and an elephant before I rewarded her with a beer (and I drank about half of it).
If she wants you to lend a pen to her, offer the pen to her, but squeeze it and don’t let it go when she grabs it. Then say “Come on, take it. Be stronger”.
However, don’t overdo it, and know the right time to challenge her. Ideally, be more challenging at the beginning of your interactions.
When you have spent three hours with her on a date and she suggests going back to your place, simply go. If you don’t do it, she’ll probably interpret it as lack of confidence or attitude from you. (Unless you have a really busy life and she KNOWS there are dozens of other girls wanting you, you could get away with overdoing it).
Be Fun and NOT Logical
If you want to learn how to flirt, one of the most important lessons is that you shouldn’t have serious, boring and logical conversations with girls.
When you are flirting, you should actually be more silly and lighthearted, because it’s easier to be emotional this way.
In order to make a girl feel attracted to you, connect with her EMOTIONALLY, and not logically. And one of the best ways to do it is having a fun vibe.
Now, don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean that you should become a clown and crack a joke every minute. Just don’t be too serious and do not start any logical arguments.
A fantastic way to be more fun while flirting is to tell stories. An interesting exercise is to think about 10 of your best and funniest stories, practice telling them to many people, or even practicing them in front of a mirror, and then using these stories with new girls that you meet.
For more details about telling stories, check out my free E-Book, where you can also learn other conversation tactics for flirting:
As with most skills in life, the more you practice flirting, the better you’ll get at it.
By just consistently implementing the tips here, you can get huge improvements.
So, every time you start to flirt with a girl, remember:
Always use strong and confident eye contact
Smile slightly in a knowing way
Stand tall, don’t slouch and don’t put your head forward; stay centered
Use rapport-breaking tonality the most, speaking louder than normal
Dominate the interaction
Believe that what you’re saying is the most important thing in the world
Be absolutely certain of your value and don’t seek any reaction
Be a challenge, never respond to any request so easily and quickly
Tell stories, be fun and emotional, and not logical and serious
For the next article, I’ll bring awesome techniques, frames and some word by word examples on how to flirt.
Do you use any of the tactics above? Do you have other methods on how to flirt? Share in the comments your flirting experiences!
We all know that feeling: you are highly interested in a girl. Texts are rolling back and forth and everything seems to be going fine. But suddenly, she stops texting you back. Or even worse: she never replied to you in the first place. In this article, I’ll show you the most recent strategies to get girls to reply to your texts.
Here is what you’ll learn in this article:
Why girls don’t reply to you;
What you should NEVER do in case she doesn’t text you;
Strategies to get girls to reply to your texts.
If you need some inspiration, take a look at this date report of mine, after I ran some A-text game and a girl went out with me. Now, without further ado, let’s dive right into it.
Why do Girls Stop Replying to Messages?
Girls can start ignoring you over text due to many, many different reasons. But FIRST, let’s define exactly what is “being ignored”.
If you texted her last and you only sent ONE message that was not responded, that is not being ignored YET. She may not yet have viewed your message. Even if it takes days (some girls are very busy). If you KNOW that she has viewed your message and it has passed 2 or 3 days, then you can start to interpret it as being ignored.
Now, if you already sent TWO texts or more without her replying (with a space of 2-3 days between each text), then you can bet with high certainty that she is ignoring you.
Let’s analyze why girls ignore you over texting:
1) She is not THAT much interested yet
I’ve got to point out flatly the number ONE reason why this happens: she is not interested THAT much in you yet. Believe me, when a girl is very into you, she’ll do whatever it takes to keep the interaction going. She may be super busy, with the world falling into her, but she’ll arrange some way to text you back, or she’ll be super apologetic when she realizes that she ignored you.
When this happens, don’t get discouraged at all. She probably just didn’t have enough proof yet that you are an awesome and badass man. If you only talked to her online (through Facebook/ Instagram/ Tinder), she had even fewer displays of your personality, and the more you should not feel discouraged. Game on.
2) She is too busy
Maybe she’s hustling through much work/studies. Many women prioritize their affairs over flirting with men over the cellphone, and that is okay. Everyone needs to live their lives and not be on the cellphone 24 hours a day.
She might have a good reason to not be responding your texts.
Especially if the girl you’re talking to has an important position in her job, or is in final exams season, you should understand the situation. So, don’t be anxious, and just implement the strategies we’ll talk about later on.
3) She may be going through a hard time in her life
This happens way less frequently than other possibilities, but it is still possible. Maybe she just got fired, somebody she loves passed away, she failed an exam…there could be endless tragic events going on in her life.
If you know this is the case, also know that it has nothing personal to do with you. Probably, she is just not in the mood to flirt with you on the phone (and probably with nobody else). Just wait for some time for her emotions to stabilize (maybe around 1 or 2 weeks) and try again.
4) You’ve shown a weak character or behavior
This is similar to reason 1), but also has different consequences. If she simply is not that much into you yet, you still have lots of chances of reverting it. On the other hand, if you display weak character or behavior, she’ll LOSE attraction quickly and you are DONE. Probably you won’t have chances anymore, especially if she is very hot.
These are ways in which you can display weak behavior in your texts:
Being too reactive
Showing signs of attachment early on
You’re too needy, trying to get too serious too fast
You’re way boring and not fun
Kissing her ass to much with compliments
You say inappropriate or totally irrelevant things
Send way to many messages (only acceptable if she is already sending more messages than you)
You come across as an young immature boy (sending too many emojis, for instance)
These errors are so common that I’ll dedicate an entire article to them soon.
Don’t be this guy.
I hope it is a bit clearer now why girls may not text you back. To conclude this part, understand that the main method to avoid a girl ignoring you is to make her sufficiently attracted to you, or even curious, before you even start texting her. THAT is the cure to the disease.
However, if you didn’t do your best to attract her in the first place, do not panic! Just use the strategies explained later to get girls to reply.
What You Should NOT Do When She Doesn’t Reply
First look at reason 4) above and you will know exactly what NOT to do when she is ignoring you.
If she senses ANY sign of weak behavior from you, she’ll be MORE inclined to keep ignoring you. She’ll rationalize: “I was right on ignoring this guy, look at how needy and desperate he is!”.
The following are examples of texts that you should NOT send:
“Why are you not responding me?”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“I don’t understand why you stopped responding to me, I thought we had a connection!”
“Are you mad or something?“
“Please say something”
Hopefully, you get the idea. Stay away from any type of text that can convey you as being needy, attached, desperate, ass-kisser, inappropriate and weak in general. If you do send texts similar to the ones above, she’ll probably never answer you again.
If you got her number at a nightclub, bar, day game or another event, you actually met her and interacted with her face to face before. This significantly improves your chances of not being ignored later on texting, particularly if you spiked some kind of interest or curiosity from her. If you started talking to her on Tinder, she knows way less about you. If you have a very good profile, you’ll have higher chances of getting girls to reply.
However, let’s say you ended up being ignored. Or she just gave you her number to be polite and didn’t reply after your first 2 texts (spaced in 2-3 days, of course). How do you face that? Let’s see some strategies.
1) Reply to her Instagram Stories
This is currently my #1 strategy to get girls to reply when they stopped responding to me, because it is the easiest, lowest efforst and simplest way.
She is giving you topics to comment on here.
When I get girls’ numbers, I first ask for their Instagram (lower investment), and then I ask for her number (she already complied for the Instagram, so this is a lower and more comfortable step for her). Of course, this only works when she has an Instagram account, but it is becoming more and more popular around the world each day.
This strategy is GOLDEN. If she stopped replying to you in Whatsapp, simply wait for some Instagram Stories of hers and make some fun/witty/lighthearted comment on whatever she is showing (on the Instagram chat).
Why this is good:
She posts Stories on Instagram hoping that people will message her about it
That’s something that highly interests her
That’s something that she wants to talk about
You are switching the communication channel
She is not seeing that she ignored you on Whatsapp
You don’t come across as a chaser
If you have nice pictures in your IG account, she’ll be more interested to talk to you again
Preferably, your message should be well thought beforehand to get the girl interested to reply you. Don’t just text anything, try to truly engage her Story with a fun or teasing approach.
Similarly, the Facebook Stories or Whatsapp Status can be used for this (although if you were already talking in Whatsapp, I suggest you to change to IG or FB).
2) Make her feel tempted to reply to YOUR Instagram Stories
Yes, that’s right. IG Stories again. I truly believe that this resource has changed the dating texting scene, and if you’re not taking advantage of it you’re MISSING OUT.
Make her interested in you – and she will be the one to text you!
In this case, you attempt to get girls to reply to your stories by posting awesome stuff that you are doing, preferably something that you know that she loves. Examples:
You know that she loves Japanese food, so you post a Stories where you are indulging in a Japanese restaurant;
She loves travelling, so you post a Stories where you are doing a hike, tanning in a beach, touristing around a big city, etc;
You know that she is crazy about pets, so you post a Stories where you are playing with a cute little Golden Retriever in a friend’s house;
She is passionate about electronic music or festivals, so you post a Stories where you are in a rave or even driving in you car with some good music.
Although not the easiest, this is probably the most powerful and effective strategy because you’re not going after her. Instead, you’re making her come after YOU, which is ideal. Trust me, this works so much that you have no idea. I’ve lost count of how many girls I “resurrected” by posting high-value IG Stories. This is perfect for 2019. USE IT.
3) High-Value Persistence
Persistence has always been and forever will be a valuable tool in seduction. Many girls, especially the hottest ones, like to play hard to get to make it more interesting and to really see if you actually want her.
Before anything, I should mention that you need to carefully read her signals. If she replied to you in a rude way, or she told you flatly that she is not interested, you should not persist. Just move on to the next girl. However, if she is just ignoring you and you don’t have any other signal to read, you can surely be persistent to get girls to reply. You just gotta do it the RIGHT way.
Now, be very careful because it is easy to come across as needy, attached or desperate while trying to be persistent. If you show any signs of that, no matter how much persistence you put, it will not work
Persist in a high-value way.
How to be persistent the right way: always provide value and act as if you have a terrible memory, in a cool way.
Providing value means bringing good emotions to her, regardless if she’ll answer you or not. You are not seeking any reactions from her. You just have a really good positive vibe and you’re sharing it with her, not waiting for anything in return!
And having a terrible memory (or pretending to have) means that you are not attached to your previous conversations with her. Thus, you don’t care whether she is ignoring you or not. It doesn’t matter what happened between you in the past. Don’t get hung up on that. You are mature and only the present interests you.
Combining that, you simply can text her non-needy humor in the form of statements or short questions, or even short texts that spike her curiosity and will make her want to text back.
“Orgy at my house this Friday at 10 pm. You bring girls and I’ll make sure ________(your name) is there.” (Use mainly with girls who are more extroverted, funny and adventurous)
“I’m traveling in _____ (some city) and I found a girl which is your clone. Exactly the same!”
“I was walking back home today and I saw about 10 Labradors running around happily in the park. One even jumped on me and licked my hands, that absolutely made my day!”
“Japanese restaurant + Netflix marathon after = Absolute success” (You can change with activities you now that she loves)
“You’re not going to believe what happened to me today…”
“Italian restaurant on place X is definitively better than sex”
“Hey, I’m arriving at home in 1 hour. Make sure the kids did their homework and the food is on the table. I’ve had a long day and can’t think about anything right now”.
In short, be cool, fun, creative and not needy! Some men simply give up after trying about 3 unanswered texts. I really don’t care about what girls think about me, so sometimes I keep persisting for months to get girls to reply. I’ve gotten many lays from girls that I did this type of long-term texting game.
Of course, I don’t send a message to them every day. In such cases, I may send a message every 1 or 2 weeks, or maybe even once a month. If the girl is worth it, you simply don’t have anything to lose. And if you keep sending high-value messages, without ANY SIGN of neediness, she’ll get curious eventually and respond.
4) Giving an Ultimatum
The results of this strategy are much less certain than the other methods. With some girls, this can work wonders. She may start replying to you much faster and give you much more attention. With other girls, they may decide to ignore you forever or even block you for good after this. So, I’d recommend using this only as a last resort, after you’ve tried all other strategies.
She has only one choice.
Giving an ultimatum is basically giving HER one last chance. You state that you were curious about her and wanted to get to know her better, but if she is not interested that is absolutely fine. You will just stop texting her and wish all the best for her. Example:
“Hey ____ (Girl’s name), initially I was curious about getting to know you better, you seem like a girl with positive vibes. But if you are not interested, that is fine for me. I know that it is not possible to get along with absolutely everybody in the world. So it was nice talking to you and I wish you all the best. Good luck with that ______ (exam/project/presentation/interview that she’ll have soon) and all the best for your dog also!”.
A word about calling to get girls to reply
Until some years ago, a strategy that I used to use was calling girls if they started to ignore me. Making them relieve the emotions, hear your voice, feel a little more pressure…all can work in your favor. Or against you, if you screw it up.
The thing is, now (2019) people are using way more texting and social media than calling. Calling is less and less used every day. Many women will feel that you’re invading her space by calling, or you may call them at the wrong times and places. There are many things against you. And if she also ignores your calls, it will make you look even more like a chaser.
So, it is not something that I recommend you to do to get girls to reply. Do it at your own risk.
Girls can have many different reasons to not respond to your texts. Accept that and do not display any type of wussy behavior, such as being whiny, desperate or needy.
Instead, use the following strategies to improve your chances to get girls to reply to your texts and to resume your conversation:
Commenting on her Instagram Stories
Making her feel tempted to comment on your Instagram Stories
Persisting on a high-value way
Giving an ultimatum
Do you use other methods to get girls to reply and stop ignoring you? Share them on the comments below!
If you are also interested in knowing the 5 best conversational tactics to keep the interaction moving with a girl, be sure to check out my free E-book!
I would like you to think about this for a moment: when meeting new people, do your eyes control you, or do you dominate your eye contact?
The vast majority of people fit into one of the following two groups. Either they don’t control their eyes at all and have no conscience about it, or they may have a bit of conscience of where their eyes are directed at but don’t have a lot of command over them.
This is so simple, and at the same time SO POWERFUL. This concept can have a completely decisive effect on how your interactions unfold, and even so, many people neglect it.
Look, you may already know that the eyes are the “window to the soul”. That’s why when two people talk they usually focus on looking into each other’s eyes. When you talk to someone, you don’t stare at their left knee and go “How are you?”.
By looking in the eyes, you know that you are really talking to the other “self”, and a connection is established.
When you are in a stress-free scenario, such as when talking to your buddies, you probably have no problems in maintaining firm and steady eye contact with them. This is because you already know them well and are comfortable with them. Up to an extent, your brain can kind of predict what to expect from the interaction. So you feel no pressure.
Now, let’s compare that to another case in which there is more tension. For instance, when you are meeting a new person. Imagine that you have been keeping an eye on a certain hot girl in your gym. On an inspired day, after completing a few sets of bench press, you just see that pretty ass staring at you behind those tight yoga pants. You decide to go for it.
If you have good control of your body and mind and can dominate eye contact, you should say something to grab her attention and then look deep right into her eyes while you start a conversation, maintaining the eye contact during the initial moments like a true champion.
However, if you don’t dominate eye contact right, probably a few things will happen.
The DON’Ts of Eye Contact
You may feel nervous during the conversation, and your eyes will go all over the place, totally unfocused;
Maybe you feel the need to say something “ultra” cool, or some funny comeback to her. This will cause your brain to search for something and your eyes will probably disengage hers because of that;
You may be tempted to check out her boobs or other parts of her body (you should try to avoid this at all costs);
You may present “scared eyes” (constricted pupils);
Staring at her 100% of the time looking like a psychopath.
Eye Contact Tells Her Who You Realy Are
These factors are all profoundly influenced by your overall self-confidence, self-stem and boldness. That’s why a woman ALWAYS looks deeply into your eyes when meeting you.
She needs to know how much of a badass you are, so she can quickly put you in the friendzone if you’re weak. Or consider fucking you (an unconscious decision, of course). And she can tell that by the way that YOU look at her better than by any word you say. In a matter of a few seconds.
Many men think that they have screwed up their chances with a woman because of something that was said. Actually, it is far more probable that he presented some type of weak body language, especially regarding the eyes.
Another weak behavior when first meeting a girl: looking so surprised by her looks, that you just can’t handle it. “Oh my god she is so hot, what do I do”. Fuck that. She should be the one giving you this look.
However, it is not because I’m telling you to maintain calm, firm and steady eye contact that you should have a scowl. Neither act like a robot. Hell no. Forget about all those guys saying that you have to put on a dead serious face to look at girls to look more “macho”. They have spider webs in their underwear.
How to dominate eye contact
When you first meet someone, your feeling should be of curious excitement mixed with alittle more confidence than what you should have. “Hum, she looks interesting. I wonder what this girl has that others don’t. What is her uniqueness? What is her story? How could she possibly add value to my life? Whatever that may be, she’s very lucky that I’m going to talk to her. She has no idea what’s coming. I’ll make her imagine herself without any clothes together with me”.
What you think and feel is transmitted through your eyes. This mindset would result in a sly smirk.
I want you to take a moment to look at the picture above and try to understand what he is FEELING. Forget about the good appearance of the guy, just focus on what he is experiencing in his head behind of that face, because that is what actually matters. You can be sure that he was probably thinking “I’m a fucking sexy badass. No women could ever resist me”.
Imagine if you’re a girl, and you get approached by someone exhibiting this facial expression, with all of that charming energy and boldness behind it. You’d immediately now that this guy is in CONTROL OF HIMSELF. You would even FEEL that. You would have no doubt that he is fearless. And even if you reject him, it won’t change his life in any way because he dominates his reality.
Eye Contact is CONNECTED to Your Feelings
This is what I want you to remember from this: your feelings and your eyes are deeply connected. You need use that to your advantage to the maximum. This means that if you feel confident, bold, powerful and relaxed, your eyes will follow, and other people will perceive it. Dominate your feelings and you will dominate eye contact.
The best part? The other way around also works. If you force yourself into the confident eyes with a sly smirk, even artificially, you’ll start experiencing these awesome feelings.
I want you to try it and perfect it. Go to the bathroom mirror now and emulate this. Play around with it. And most importantly, see how you begin to feel by doing that.
Even if you end up forgetting to do this particular expression, just maintain good and relaxed eye contact. Don’t let your eyes wander around everywhere like a lost sheep. And please, don’t creep her out by looking away from time to time.
Lastly, I want you to practice these concepts about dominating eye contact. There are a number of helpful videos online that can aid you with this, I recommend the following ones:
First, practice keeping your eye contact firm and steady. Use the video below and try to not look at the girl’s boobs for the whole duration of the video. If you feel that’s easy, try doing triangular gazes on her (looking at one eye, then going to the other eye, and then to her mouth, and then repeat), without looking at her boobs.
Keeping eye contact with Kate Upton - YouTube
2. Next, try the following: keep your eye contact firm and steady with the girl from the video below during the WHOLE video without looking away. To that, add the sly smirk that you practiced before.
Now, as a real badass and reader of this blog, you could take this to a further level. Instead of the music that plays in this video, take the sound off (it’s not really the type of music to seduce someone). Put on some music that gets you in a seductive/exciting vibe. I put my choice of music right below the video. Now, while you look at her during the whole video, doing the smirk and listening to your music, really feel that you are penetrating her mind with your bold energy and that you are seducing her.
Video For Practicing Eye Contact - YouTube
SG Lewis - Warm - YouTube
This can get intense, but try to keep it until the end. If you can’t do it the first time, don’t worry and keep trying.
The next time you meet a cute chick, remember to use this. Do it consistently, and you will see your interactions going way better than before. Dominate your eye contact, and you will dominate the interaction.
If I had to list one character trait that is absolutely important for your success with women and a foundation for all your other good qualities, I would say that it is your confidence. More specifically, your internal confidence. Read on to discover how to increase internal confidence constantly with just 6 minutes per day.
If you haven’t yet read the other post about the path to absolute confidence, you can check it out here. That post is an introduction to this one.
In short, confidence is a characteristic that everybody can learn and gradually improve on. There are two distinct types of confidence: internal and external. Internal confidence is strictly related to your mind, feelings and BELIEFS. That’s what you think of the world and how you perceive and feel about yourself. External confidence is related to your actions and your results. I wrote a separate article on outer confidence here.
For now, I want to give you a strategy on how to increase your internal confidence as much as possible. Your internal confidence will be the foundation for everything. With the development of your internal confidence, you’ll be prepared to assume higher and higher risks and obtain the results that you want in life.
I’ll relate internal confidence to the main topic of this blog: getting good with women. But this is so powerful that you can use it virtually anywhere in your life. As always, let’s start with something fun to get you motivated.
Identify Your Internal Confidence
Imagine this: you are single and in vacations on a tropical beach. You are with your friends sitting in front of the ocean, everybody is drinking and having a good time. After a while, you tell them you’re gonna jog just a little and come back. While you’re jogging, you see this girl nearby:
Now, would you think that you are capable of going up and initiating an interaction with her? Would you think that you are worthy of making her attracted to you? Would you trust in yourself with every fiber of your being that you can walk up to her, look confidently in her eyes and say something?
Pay very close attention to those questions. I am not asking if you would actually approach her. We are talking about one step behind yet. This is about if you BELIEVE that you are capable of doing it. If you feel OK with the possibility. If you think that you are worthy of a girl like that.
Many guys can make out and hook up with girls that are 6s and 7s, but when it comes to 8s, 9s and 10s many of them freeze because they don’t believe that they can do it, or even that they are not good enough for those girls.
These questions are all related to your internal confidence. Basically, it comes down to how you see yourself and what do you think you are capable of. In other words, your self-image.
If you think that you still are not confident enough for that, know that you can change your beliefs. By working constantly on your internal confidence, you can increase it indefinitely, being able to become a real badass with bulletproof absolute confidence.
Be Careful With Bullshit Advice on Confidence
Before telling you exactly what to do to improve your internal confidence, I want to tell you to be skeptical about the common types of advice on how to increase internal confidence out there. Let’s take a look at some of them:
Just be yourself
Just trust yourself
Be grateful for all the things that you have and have done
Eliminate negative thoughts
Show your individuality
Find your passion
Stop comparing yourself
Know yourself more
I’m gonna stop here because I’m almost puking. This is what I imagine after reading that:
If you rely on these type of vague advice to become more confident and attract 9s and 10s you’re pretty much fucked. Think about it. I’m not saying that any of that is wrong, actually, some of those points are good stuff. But is it good enough? Is that enough for you to become super attractive and make girls wet their panties with your presence? Of course not.
Probably, you’re gonna forget all of those things 5 minutes after you have read them. Most importantly: you’re not gonna remember any of them when you most need, such as when approaching a stunning girl.
Moreover, I can break all of those principles and still feel confident. I can act in a way that’s not really myself, I can skip doing gratitude rituals, I can hold back my individuality and still compare myself to others, and even so, I have the power and capacity to feel confident. Note that I’m not advocating you to do any of that. The point is: there are WAY better methods on how to increase your internal confidence. So how?
How to Increase Your Internal Confidence
Let’s begin with some crucial points:
The first thing is: you REALLY have to want to get more confident!
You can only gradually develop your confidence if you work on it consistently. Ideally, I recommend you to do the exercises below EVERY DAY. If you turn this into a habit, it will be much easier to achieve what you want. Absolute confidence cannot be achieved overnight.
Trust your subconscious. Your confidence comes in great part from your subconscious mind. You don’t need to feel silly or weird while doing the exercises. Trust the process, do it consistently, and you’ll see results.
Now, the practical part.
I recommend you to split the exercises in two: do one in the morning, as part of your morning ritual, and another at night, just before going to bed. I’ve measured the time, and all you need is 3 minutes per exercise, which totals 6 minutes per day to increase your internal confidence.
How to Increase Internal Confidence: Morning Routine
This first exercise works with affirmations. These are certainly one of the most powerful tools to influence your subconscious mind on your own.
Look, everything that you believe today is deeply rooted in your mind. Your values, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, principles. Obviously, you want to eliminate the bad ones and implement good ones.
You may recognize that you have several beliefs that are useless and are not helping you achieve the results in life that you want. For instance, you may believe that “I can’t make girls laugh”, or “I can’t approach girls who are in groups”, or “I can’t consider myself dating a 10 girl”. It is OK to acknowledge such beliefs in an indifferent manner. Always good to know your weak points, know what you want to improve in yourself, but don’t waste too much time on it.
For this exercise, all you want to focus on are on affirmations about how you want to be. Positive suggestions are one of the strongest forces in the world. It’s not a coincidence that they are one of the key components of hypnosis. They are highly effective in influencing your subconscious mind.
The steps for the exercise:
With a paper and pen in hands (no cellphone/computer allowed), write down 5 affirmations in the 1st person about yourself as if you already were all the things that you want to be.
Go to a mirror with the paper, and then read each sentence out loud while looking at your own eyes. Put passion and enthusiasm while reading, really MEAN what you say. Don’t do it half-assed.
Each week, choose 5 affirmations to repeat during the seven days. Then, for the next week, switch to another 5 affirmations if you want. Alternatively, you can also invest more time in the exercise and do 10 or even more affirmations.
Each affirmation should relate to a good trait of yours. However, don’t make it boring and simple. Exaggerate it. Don’t simply write “I ‘m very confident”. Write “I am absurdly confident, so confident that it hurts”. Don’t just write “I am very attractive”, write “I am fucking sexy and incredibly hot”. Put your feelings and emotions out and turn it up!
Examples of affirmations:
I am a fascinating man that no girl can resist;
My sexual aura is so intense that women can sense it;
I am an outstanding communicator;
I can approach girls easily and effortlessly;
My voice is ridiculously attractive;
I am the leader of my own life
I absolutely love the man that I am becoming;
There is an ocean of value inside of me;
I am a 10/10;
Girls absolutely love how I kiss them;
I can lick a girl so good that I get them addicted to me, etc.
If you want to make it EVEN more effective: for each sentence, after you say them, also state a REASON for why they are true. Of course, for this, you should only state real reasons. This way, your conscious mind will join the game by understanding the reason behind each phrase, making it even more effective:
I am an outstanding communicator because I can put passion into my words and make people feel what I feel;
I am a 10/10 because I workout, I can cook, I am confident, I’m independent and I know how to do massage;
I am absurdly confident because I love myself and don’t care what others think of me;
I can kiss a girl insanely good, because I know how to tease with my tongue, bit softly her lips, back out of the kiss before her and do everything slowly and sexually;
I can approach girls easily and effortlessly because I take action quickly and don’t worry about the outcome, etc.
Don’t underestimate the power of this exercise. Do it EVERY DAY and with time, you’ll perceive a difference.
How to Increase Internal Confidence: Night Routine
Right before going to bed, reserve 3 minutes for the second exercise. For this one, you don’t need anything aside from your imagination.
Although not necessary, I suggest you put on some relaxing music for this. One of my favorites for this exercise is this one, which can also help you to calm down your body just before sleeping:
Marconi Union - Weightless (Official Video) - YouTube
This exercise consists of visualization. Together with positive affirmations, visualization constitutes the ultimate weapon for influencing a transformation in your subconscious mind. Your brain will be forced to consider a new self-image of you. If repeated enough times, this new self-image will start to be considered as the standard one by your brain.
Steps for the exercise:
Stand on your feet on a quiet location where you won’t be interrupted or distracted;
Close your eyes and start to breathe deeply and slowly;
Start visualizing the absolute best version of yourself. Picture yourself standing with relaxed body language, in a dominant position, with outstanding clothes, and a confident facial expression. Really imagine how you’d look if you were in your best. Make this image in your mind brighter, bigger, zoom in your face. Maybe you are smiling slightly, with a confident gaze. Maybe you are moving slowly, throwing your arms to the sky and doing some dominant body language poses. You can visualize yourself in many ways. Imagine every detail. Then, when you have a very clear picture of the ideal you, imagine that this ideal you is starting to flow up, higher and higher, like an elevator going up. Then, it explodes, and a thousand versions of the ideal you start to rain all around the current version of yourself. You are surrounded by multiple ideal you of the future. They are all looking at you. Finally, they raise their arms in your direction and send you their energy, their power, their inspiration, their power of will and their confidence. You are charged with their power. They are looking over you, as you make your way there. Feel their energy and embrace it, feeling as this ideal version of you is being built in your current you.
This is an extremely powerful exercise. With time, you’ll become that ideal self that you picture and increase your internal confidence tremendously.
True, raw confidence from the inside comes from your beliefs and how you see yourself. If you can substitute current negative beliefs for new, positive and powerful ones, you’ll be on your way to absolute confidence.
Both of these exercises are definitely incredible for building your confidence. The main challenge here is performing them every day, always! If you can do that, you’ll be surely astonished by your own self-development over time.
How did you feel after doing them? Do you use other effective methods to increase internal confidence? Let me know in the comments.
I’m back with the continuation of the date story. If you didn’t see part I of this date story, you can find it here.
Date Story – Part II
So, getting straight to the point, we had just seated and ordered a petit gateau to the waiter. She was sitting by my side, very close. Our legs were almost touching.
Now, it is essential to understand the state of mind that we were at that moment. Since before the date, I started to warm up my mind, to loosen up myself and to turn on my good emotions. That is basically “fuck what others think”/”she cannot possibly resist me”/I’m free, I do and say what I want”. Of course, I was channeling that in a playful and teasing way. My logic brain was put aside during this date.
While for her, she was responding very well. Basically laughing and smiling constantly. As she was practically not”shit” testing me, I could tell she was already quite interested, and she had accepted my lead during many times up to that point. Green lights. I just had to keep going, not screw up anything and spike her emotions up gradually.
(G = me / J = her)
G: I love ice cream so much, but I rarely eat it. I’m glad today is my “garbage day”. I’m eating everything that I want!
J: I eat ice cream like, every week! I’m addicted to it!
G: My favorite flavor is strawberry. Hum. So goood.
J: My favorite is chocolate!! Oh my god I love chocolate!
G: I can tell that. Even your skin is turning into a chocolate color! Look at that! haha (I smoothly stroke my finger through from her shoulder to her upper arm).
J: hahaha I just tan too much.
G: Last week you were white…now you’re almost turning into Nutella… (playful smile, strong gaze)
J: Shut up haha don’t exaggerate! (hitting lightly my shoulder)
G: Just imagine eating some Nutella and then kissing you. I guess it would feel tasty. (I look at her in a suspicious way with a light smile, actually wondering how would that feel)
J: How daring! (Looks at me with great surprise and smiling)
KEY POINT: After saying that while looking deep right into her eyes, I could sense the sexual tension went up through the roof. She sensed it too, certainly. She probably felt nervous and didn’t know what was coming next. Maybe she thought I was gonna kiss her. Most guys with an average level of confidence and attitude would do that. However, I wanted to take it one step further. I wanted her to really want it. I wanted her to remember this so much, she wouldn’t easily forget. If you want to make someone want something so badly, don’t give it to them straight away. Don’t make them lose hope either. Maintain them in this fine line, teasing and provoking and still not giving it. The desire goes up and up until it begins to feel unbearable.
Unfortunately, right after that, the waiter arrives with the petit gateau. I thought these damn interruptions right on the perfect moments happened only in the movies. Well, that’s life. If you lose momentum (flow of good emotions and vibes), don’t worry. You just have to rebuild it again.
From this moment, we started to talk about a big diversity of topics while eating. From our childhoods, places we had lived and stuff we like to do, to places we would like to visit, food, etc. Sincerely I can’t remember much of this part. I just remember that I was in such a careless, dominant and fun vibe that I was just expressing myself freely and engaging her emotions. Constantly looking at her, touching her shoulders/elbows/legs and removing my touch.
At one point:
G: Oh my god. Look at your hand.
G: Give it to me. Let me take a look. (She gives me her hand, palms facing up)
J: Haha what is it?
G: Such a cute hand. (I just take her hand and lace her fingers with mine at this moment. Simple like that. When you’re such in a good vibe you don’t need to complicate stuff. You just LEAD and assume she’ll follow).
Now we are holding hands and I support them on my leg. We are closer, our legs are touching also. There is an obvious tension on the air. Embrace this feeling. I fucking love it.
G: You know what? I’m in such a mood for paradisiacal islands. The Maldives for example. I’m gonna take you there!
J: Yesss I want to go there so much! I adore beaches and the sun!
G: It’s gonna be so fun. We are gonna tan so much together. And then sip coconut water and eat ice cream all day in the beach, while listening to the waves crashing and feeling a soft and warm breeze. Can you imagine that?
J: Oh my god, don’t say that to me. You will really make me want to do it!
G: You know what YOU really make me want to do? (smiling mysteriously, I slowly drag my eyes from hers to her mouth, and then back again at her eyes).
J: What??? (I’ve never seen such a focused attention on me before).
G: It’s a secret. But I might tell you… (I lean towards her ear until my mouth is just a few centimeters away from it. I make sure to touch my beard slightly on her face)
G: (talking slowly with a deeper voice) You make me want to kiss you so good. This desire to do it slowly and deliciously. Stop doing this to me… (I kiss her neck softly. I sense her getting some chills. She starts to turn her mouth towards mine. Now our faces are only millimeters away from each other. The sexual tension is higher than the Empire State Building).
I could have totally gone for the kiss successfully at this point. However, as I said earlier, I wanted to spice things up a bit.
So it’s like a cat and mouse game. She leans towards me and slowly brings her lips closer to mine, then I deviate back a bit, but proceed to drag my lips around her cheeks. Breathing slowly. With a slightly teasing smile. Then I get near her ears, go down a bit and kiss very softly her neck. I can tell she’s starting to get quite excited. She attempts to kiss me again, but I gently grab a part of her hair from behind her neck and I stop her from doing it. I then lean towards her just a little bit, until there is no space between our lips at all, but I don’t kiss her. I instead bite very softly her lower lip. “Humm”.
She tries again to kiss me, but I lean back a little and stop her again while looking arousingly at her eyes. By the way she was looking at me, I could tell she was crazy to kiss me. Every cell of her body was focused on this only one thing. I made her want it so much and didn’t just give it away so easily.
This also created an even bigger desire in ME to kiss that hottie. So this time, looking from her eyes to her mouth, I leaned towards her very slowly. She did the same. I placed my other hand firmly on her lower back and finally kissed her. All that play made us both very excited, and it was insanely good. Our tongues met several times.
I pulled out from the kiss first (this was very hard to resist). She was just staring at me amazed.
G: Chocolate taste + you. That’s so good.
J: Hahaha you ate everything, you didn’t even leave enough for me!
G: I told you I eat too much. Also, you’re such a slow eater haha
J: That’s so unfair. You’re gonna have to get more for me!
G: I’ll think about it (wink).
We then continue talking about various subjects. Our hands are laced, legs touching, she’s looking a lot at me. The attraction is on the air. But I didn’t want to let things stay as they were. I wanted to have sex. And to get there you have to…guess what? LEAD.
Usually, my strategy is to seed the pull during the date, especially after kissing. That can be anything we can do together back in my place after we leave the date’s location. I often go for the “watch a movie/TV series together”, since it works pretty well for me. So, I started to turn the conversation towards this topic to discover what’s her taste for that.
I found out that she loved “How I met your mother”, which was awesome because I like it very much as well.
G: You better stop looking at me like that and making me like you, or I’m gonna take you to watch How I met your mother with me…
J: Hahaha I don’t have time today, it’s already late…
G: Late? Today is a Saturday.
J: I know, but tomorrow morning I’m gonna have to go to this place to do _____ (I forgot what was that, in my head, it was an excuse)
At this point, I saw some resistance from here, so I didn’t insist more for now, but I’d surely try again later. During the rest of our time there, we talked more, I teased her more, more making out, etc. After about 1 to 1 hour and a half, I wanted to leave and to try to heat things up. I sensed she shouldn’t appreciate if I grabbed her ass in the middle of the bistro.
After paying, we left together, I was leading her by the hand. Upon exiting the place, I saw the street was empty. I then suddenly put one arm behind her back and another behind her knees and picked her up.
J: Ohh my god what are you doing? Hahahaha you’re crazy! We are in the middle of the street! (giggling a lot)
G: Enjoy the free ride to the car, just don’t get used to it haha
J: Someone is gonna see my panties! I’m wearing a dress!!
G: Don’t worry, there is nobody around. You’re so light!
J: Hahaha oh my god…
After reaching the car, I put her down, pushing her towards the side of my car. Then, I press my body against hers and start to kiss her again, this time even more wildly than before. I place my left hand behind her neck, and with my right hand, I grab her ass firmly. She kisses me even harder. We make out for 1 or 2 minutes and then I stop kissing her mouth and go to her ears, whispering softly:
G: Hum you better stop doing this to me…
J: Doing what?
G: Making me like you and kissing me like that…
J: Me? You’re the one doing this to me!
G: Isn’t it so good…when you meet someone who has this energy that you feel very comfortable around…that makes you want to get so close…and have nothing between you (I was speaking slowly into her ears and I seemed like she was entering some state of trance with that). Like there is nothing else in the world that matters…only this moment…the present…(pulling her hair and squeezing her ass)
G: (I start kissing her again and she wraps her arms around my back. I press my hips into hers and she moans a little) Let’s go watch some “How I met your mother”, I’ll let you eat the chocolate that I stole from you earlier…
J: Haha I wanted to, but…you know, I don’t go to anyone’s house on the first date.
G: So that’s how you think of me…”ANYONE”. (I pretend to be upset playfully and move my face away from hers)
J: Nooo haha I like you, but that’s just a principle that I have.
G: Nothing is gonna happen tonight, we are just going to watch something together and eat chocolate. Don’t worry.
J: I really wanted to, but not tonight. Another day we can do it.
After insisting for 3 or 4 times, many girls end up changing their minds. It’s just some resistance that you have to go through. In this case, however, it seemed that no matter how much I insisted she would not go home with me. Well, if you insist even more at this point, it’ll just seem that you have no calibration and social intelligence whatsoever, so I had to accept it. At the same time, it seemed to me that this is a rule of hers that she valued a lot. She basically said, “I’ll fuck with you, just don’t rush it”. Ok, let’s exercise the patience muscle.
However, before leaving, I made sure to provoke her even more. I grabbed that amazing ass with both of my hands while kissing her and pressing her towards the car. Then I dragged my lips to her neck and bit her gently, before starting to kiss her neck as well. It was like our entire bodies were in contact, and every part of us was feeling that intensely. Damn, just remembering that I get a boner.
Well, there wasn’t much more I could do at this point. She was pretty attracted to me, I wanted to have sex, I know she wanted too, but there was no way in hell she was willing to break that freaking rule. The fastest way to get to it would be to simply end this date and then see her again another day. We got in the car and I drove her back home.
When I parked near her house, we made out some more.
J: I have to say, I’m pretty impressed.
G: It’s your fault for making me feel this positive and amazing vibe.
J: This was so good, I really liked you!
G: I liked you too (kiss). Do you really have to wake up early tomorrow?
J: Yea, sadly there is nothing I can do…but let’s do something soon.
G: For sure, we’ll keep in touch. I hope you forget that I owe you some chocolate ice cream…haha
J: I’ll never forget it, I’ll demand it!!
G: Hahaha you’re cute (make out some more before she leaves).
This girl actually got fascinated by me and would not stop texting me after this date until we met again. Maybe someday I’ll post about our second date, but you can certainly guess what happened.
The main things that made her ATTRACTED to me happened here. The main lessons are on this date story. Although I’ve gone in many dates where I had sex with the girl directly on the first date, I still consider this one of the most perfect dates that I went. I can’t recall anything that I did wrong. You can perceive that she didn’t even “shit” test me. Of course, she offered resistance to go home with me, but I could clearly tell she wanted to. She just didn’t go on that first date because she had a rock-solid life rule.
The most important thing you can learn from this date story
An INVINCIBLE state of mind.
Throughout the whole date, even before meeting her, I just had this amazing aura of good energy around me. It was like, “nothing matters, I’m free to do and say what I want, and she’ll certainly not be able to resist me”. Even if she is SO hot, I’m not intimidated, I will be in control of myself. I am the leader in this, I’m dominant and I’m gonna take her through this ROLLER COASTER of good emotions. And I’m gonna tease her so much that she’s gonna be ADDICTED to me! Like nothing else in the world is gonna matter while she’s with me, she’ll just be able to think about raping my mouth. And that’s exactly what happened.
Your MIND is the ultimate weapon of seduction.
Never forget that.
Now I hope you use these learnings on your next dates. Rock her world. Then come back here and let me know how that worked out for you. You can reach me here in the comments or through facebook messages. Feel free to share your date stories as well.
Many guys wonder if they should work out to attract girls. This is a topic surrounded by diverging opinions. In this article, I want to clarify what the TRUTH is. I’ll analyze this from all possible angles to give you the best possible answer.
First of all, let’s look at the two main existing opinions about this subject:
Working out will make you look better and girls will be more attracted to you because of your beautiful aesthetics;
To get better with women, you don’t need to work out. In fact, girls don’t even value your physique a lot. They just care about your personality and character.
In short, both of these arguments are wrong.
Next, I’m going to explain to you why they are misleading, and also what you should do in order to achieve the best outcomes.
Girls Are Not Primarily Attracted By Your Looks
If I had to make a list of 20 characteristics which are valued by women in a man, looks would probably come in the LAST positions. Looks do matter, but much less than what you might imagine. They are not a priority for women.
Just a short parenthesis: when I talk about looks here, I’m talking about physical beauty (physique), NOT about style/grooming, which is far more important and will be discussed in another post.
You may have some trouble accepting this fact. Probably because we men are PRIMARILY and IMMEDIATELY attracted (or not) to women on a physical level. We look at that cute face with that enticing smile and killer legs and we think (with both of our heads): “Damn. I’d do her.”
When I was younger this was hard to believe for me. Until I started to pay more attention around. I noticed many times that hot girls were going out with guys without what is considered “ideal” looks by society.
Two Real Opposite Examples
One fascinating example comes from a friend of mine who doesn’t possess any good looks at all. He is dead skinny and has never worked out in his life before. He also uses dental braces and glasses and is not very tall. If you saw just a normal picture of him, you would think “This guy is a total nerd. He will be a virgin until his 40s“.
What if I tell you that this friend is one of the best with girls that I know? This is because if you talk to him, I’d be immediately dragged by his way of expressing himself, his charisma, his passion, and enthusiasm. And guess what…women prioritize THIS over his looks.
Now let’s take a look at another extreme example. There is a famous Youtuber, that I’m not going to expose, that has an extraordinarily well-sculpted body. Just by looking at his wide shoulders, 6-pack abs, massive chest and arms you’d be impressed. He has a physique that any guy would aspire to possess (without taking steroids).
However, after seeing some footage of him approaching girls at some crazy parties, I could tell that he has no skill in this department. He got rejected repeatedly. EVEN displaying his excellent looks.
As with almost everything in life, exceptions do exist for this. Of course, girls will have trouble being attracted to a morbidly obese man, or a man who has some kind of weird disease being displayed in his face, for example. However, for the normal average man, looks definitely aren’t the deciding factor.
Why Does Everybody Think That Girls Are Attracted to Looks (Even Themselves)?
This is a great question. The easy and incomplete answer: Hollywood.
Imagine a little girl, that since her baby years starts to watch a bunch of TV animations and movies. About 90% of the television entertainment destined to girls basically involves this: a cute story with a girl and a guy (usually some type of prince), in which a series of events and difficulties occur before they finally get together and are happy forever. Girls are basically BRAINWASHED since their early years, and even they believe that they should feel attraction to “prince-looking” men.
Now, the worst part: we, men, suffer from the same brainwashing. Many of the entertainment that we consume (Youtube videos, TV series, movies, even video games) includes good-looking men being the “heroes” and getting all the girls. We end up thinking wrongly that, to achieve the same results, we would need to have the same aesthetics.
“But..I see it everywhere!”
Still, you may tell me, “I still can’t believe that girls aren’t attracted to a guys’ looks. I see it everywhere. Girls talking with their friends about how they think that a guy is so cute, or that a guy is ripped and that it turns them on. Or that all my good-looking friends that work out are getting girls and I’m not. Girls must like how a guy looks!“.
This happens for two reasons.
Firstly, if a woman doesn’t know you yet, she will use your looks to judge you (unconsciously). And in her mind, good-looking men/men who work out are usually more confident, charming, fun, have a better sense of humor, etc., thanks to the Hollywood brainwashing.
The physique doesn’t attract her directly, but actually, she’s making unconscious associations to the guy’s character. The guy may have 6-packs and all, but if he goes to her and act like a douchebag or can’t even maintain proper eye contact, she loses all attraction instantly, because the association that she had made proved wrong. However, this is not very likely, for the reasons that I’ll explain next.
Secondly, if you are a good-looking guy or have a great body, chances are you DEVELOP self-confidence and social skills because of that. You probably receive more attention from people. You fit into the “good-looks” stereotype. Everybody assumes that you have all those nice personality traits, and then it is just natural for you to act like that. Damn, it’s even expected from you to act in a more confident and charming manner.
The Truth is: girls generally associate good looks with positive masculine traits
Simply put, the reality is that most girls do not fall in love with a guy’s looks, but can feel SOME attraction for them because they ASSUME that such guys have more masculine qualities than the rest, NOT because of their actual aesthetics. And these assumptions are usually TRUE because if you work out and have a better body it is easier to develop more self-esteem, self-confidence, social skills, dominance, be charming and all that good stuff.
Notice that I said “most” in the last paragraph because there are some exceptions here as well. A few girls have the sexual fantasy of fucking a really muscular and ripped man (due to curiosity), and this can really attract them. However, if you still are completely shy, weak and lack self-confidence, she may lose this attraction.
So…Should I Work Out Or Not To Attract Girls?
The short answer: Yes.
The longer answer: You don’t necessarily need to work out to attract girls. If you do it merely with this purpose, expecting that women will simply jump to your lap and approach you because you got big and shredded, you will be probably disappointed. You might receive slightly more attention and more looks from girls because they may assume more often that you have good character qualities, but you still will have to approach them and game as usual.
Still, I HIGHLY recommend you to work out for the purposes of being a better man in general, because it can indirectly improve your game in many ways, leading you to get more and better results with women than if you didn’t work out.
I give you the following reasons for this.
Why I Recommend You To Work Out to Attract Girls
1) More self-confidence and self-esteem
Yes. I’ve already said it and I’m going to repeat it because this is so important. If you work out often and dedicate yourself to it, you’ll gradually develop more self-confidence, self-esteem, train your mind, be more disciplined, lose your fears (maybe you had fears of social judgment for being too fat or too skinny before). You’ll start to eat better, treat yourself better and love yourself.
And if you love yourself more, other people will too. You’ll just look at yourself in the mirror, look in your own fucking eyes, and think: “Damn self, look at me. Getting all these muscles. Looking so sexy. How could someone possibly resist this. I’m totally in control of myself” This is pure gold, and your good feelings will come through you.
Remember that in this blog I’m not talking just about being confident, I’m talking about being one level ABOVE confident. Something that people will feel when you get near them, like your charming aura of positive energy. And working out is such an excellent tool for this. This reason alone should be enough for you to hit the iron consistently.
For more advice on boosting confidence and self-esteem, take a look here.
2) Competitive Advantage Over Other Guys
Suppose that a hot girl is talking with 3 guys, texting back and forth with them, and all of them asked her out on a date. Also suppose she is not in the mood to date all 3 of them (which could be totally possible), so she has to choose only one.
Now, this decision is almost always unconscious: she simply chooses the one that she feels the most attraction to. Imagine that she discarded guy nº 1 because she didn’t feel much chemistry with him.
However, she is in a brutal dilemma to choose between guy nº 2 and guy nº 3. Both of them are masculine, confident, fun, empathetic, know how to carry good conversations and she feels sexual tension with both of them. There is only one difference: guy nº 2 is very skinny, while guy nº 3 has wide shoulders, big arms, a nice chest, and some defined abs. She decides to go for nº 3.
Thus, although not a primary attraction factor, a nice body can still give you an advantage over other guys. The hotter the girl is, the more competition you can usually expect, and the more you can stand out if you work out hard.
3) More Testosterone
If you start to work out, you will see your testosterone levels increase naturally.
And in case you’re not aware, testosterone is just the most amazing hormone ever. With more testosterone in your body, everything in your life will be better:
Helps to increase muscle mass;
Helps to decrease body fat;
Development of facial hair;
Development of deeper voice;
More libido and better sexual life;
Better cognitive skills;
More satisfaction with life in general.
4) More Strength
I could talk about all the benefits that more strength could bring to your life (such as when moving a fridge), but I want to focus on the topic of this post.
If you are stronger, you’ll be able to move girls a lot more easily. That’s right.
Imagine if you are dating a girl and you want to pick her up with your arms in the middle of the streets. This will be a piece of cake if you do heavy deadlifts. Also, very handful if you want to pick her up and put her in your bed when she is in your home.
Doing movements like this will show her your physical strength while at the same time allowing a personal physical touch with her, which can make her feel safe and more connected to you. A parenthesis: I only recommend doing this after you have established enough comfort with the girl.
Girls are not primarily attracted your physique, they value your personality traits and character far more than that. However, looks can still play a minor role in attraction, and some women will have sexual fantasies of having sex with muscular, ripped men.
While you don’t necessarily need to work out to attract girls, I highly recommend you to in order to take your overall self-confidence, self-esteem, self-control and badass feeling to the next level, which in turn will give you WAY more results. Working out will make you stand out in front of other guys, increase your testosterone and your strength, which also have loads of other potential benefits.
I hope I gave you enough information to help you make your decisions.