Hi, my name is Dr. Sophia Reed and welcome to my single mom blog. I of course am a single mother, a single woman over 30, and a Christian. I started this single mom blog for sophisticated moms for single mothers who want to put her best foot forward in everything she does, including her relationships, her career, her appearance, her parenting, and her relationship with God.
So many women have fed into the ride or die chick mentality. Which is why in this post I am going to explain why the ride or die chick mentality is complete and utter bull. Before you get all up and arms and get offended because you call yourself a ride or die chick I want you to consider a something. If someone wants you to be their ride or die you need to ask yourself are they willing to ride or die for you. And if someone wants you to be their ride or die then you need to evaluate what they want you to ride or die through? Do they want you to ride or die through cheating, lies, and his inability to keep a job, to give him money when he needs it, or to hold him down because he cannot seem to get his own life together? That is not a ride or die that is called being a fool. Because so many men want you to be a ride or die through their foolishness so many women have bought into this mentality because they want to prove their love to their man, to earn the coveted title of riding or dying through every single thing that life throws their way.
With that being said I am going to explain to you:
The biggest mistakes of the ride or die chick AND Why The ride or die chick mentality is a bunch of bull
You ready let’s get into it.
The biggest mistakes of the ride or die chick #1 Trying To Prove Yourself
A bad habit that us women tend to make is that we go above and beyond for a man to try to prove to him how awesome we are. The man may tell you about his ex, he may tell you what she did not do, her mistakes, and so the thought process that goes through the woman’s mind is that I am going to be different from all the women that he has been with and, therefore, I am going to do this, that, and the third to PROVE to him that I am better than all the rest.
Some women make so many excuses for why men are the way they are.
His mom left him when he was younger.
He never had a real relationship before.
He just does not know how to love.
No woman has loved him the way that I am going to love him.
And then you try to overcompensate as a woman to fix all of these wrongs that you feel has gone on in his life so that you can prove that you are a ride or die. When really you are just making excuses for his own shortcomings. And what you fail to realize it is not up to you to prove yourself or to fix all the past wrong done to him. That is called being co-dependent it is up to a man to fix his own baggage not you.
The biggest mistakes of the ride or die chick #2 Trying to be the man
So many ride or die women take care of their man like he is their child. Their man cannot keep a job, their man cannot pay the bills, their man does nothing but sit on the couch all day and suck up their air conditioning, the man makes every excuse under the sun a to why he cannot maintain his own life. And so the misguided attempt of a ride or die chick will pay for everything, pay for his clothes, shoes, and even buy him a car. Because she wants to take care of her man-child.
She says to herself that he is going through a hard time right now and so she must hold him down. Let me ask you a question.
If as a woman you can find a job, keep a job, pay your own bills, and you are holding down your life on your own then why should you not expect the same from your man? If you can do it, then he can do it. Click To Tweet
BUT instead the ride or die chick makes excuses and tells herself that she is holding down the fort until her man gets on her feet. If this is you then you should use the word man very loosely. Do not consider yourself a ride or die call yourself his mother because you are taking care of him like he is your child. Like the old saying you can do bad all by yourself you do not need a man dragging you down with all of his problems and not bringing anything to the table. In the words of Steve Harvey and the book act like a lady think like a man (Click to buy), a man’s job is to protect, provide, and profess. If you are doing everything, then your man is not protecting you nor is he helping to provide for you. He is just getting over and having you do all these things for him.
The biggest mistakes of the ride or die chick #3 Putting Yourself at risk
I want to start off by telling you a story, now this may be a really extreme example, but I just want to get my point across. My friend was once dating a big-time drug dealer, and as they were in the car, he told her to put both his gun and his drugs in her pants because they were passing the police. And she did it. She did not get caught, but if she had, then she would be the one going to jail and not him.
She told me she was just being a ride or die chick. No that is called being used. No man should ever want to put you in personal danger just to save his own skin. Remember the whole provide, protect, and profess mentality. This goes again the protecting. In fact, he is just pushing you into danger to protect himself.
Now your story may not be that extreme but does your man want you to ruin your credit by not paying on a car that you bought him? Does he want you to put your neck out on the line for him? This is very similar to holding a gun and some drugs. Because you are going to be left with the consequences, not him.
The biggest mistakes of the ride or die chick #4 Making excuses or his nonsense
Your man may be cheating on you, and you are willing to stick around or worse fight the other woman to prove your love to him. Your man may be lying to you time and time again or just mistreated you. But you are still around because you want to show him that you are not going anywhere. And after all his dogging you out, he may say “oh this is my ride or die.” No, you are someone who is a glutton for punishment. Being in a relationship should not make you feel bad or that you have to sit there while a man treats you like crap because you love him, and you always want to show him that you will be there for him. You should love yourself too, love yourself enough to know that you do not deserve to be treated any kind of way and that you do not have to sit through a relationship where he does whatever he wants with whoever he wants just to prove that you are not going anywhere.
#5 Why The ride or die chick mentality is a bunch of bull
Now that you have read some of the mistakes of the ride or die, woman, you should clearly see why the ride or die mentality is a bunch of bull. Because you are literally giving up so much to the other person and they are not giving anything back to you. The man has somehow tricked you into thinking that going hard for him is the way to prove your love or to win a coveted position of being the ride or die chick.
If you are in a relationship and your man is asking you to be a ride or die then you really need to ask yourself if would he be willing to do the same for you. You really need to ask yourself if what he is giving out what you deserve in a relationship. Do not get caught up in the hype be believing that you have to ride or die in a BAD relationship. No relationship is perfect, and there are some things you may need to fight through, but don’t be fool wearing it like a badge of honor when really he is playing you, and you are playing yourself.
Last but not least I want you to hear it from a man. Check out this video by Derrick Jaxon on what a REAL Ride or Die Situation is.
Do today's men even deserve a "ride or die"? My thoughts.. - YouTube
If you know a woman that needs to read this post, then feel free to share it with her.
Also, did you know that I have a book for single women? AND I know that you will enjoy it so much that I am willing to give you the first chapter for free. Just click here or the picture below and it is yours.
In this post, I am going to tell you what to do when your child’s father chooses the girlfriend over the child. The reason that I am so well versed in this topic is that it has happened in my own situation. My son is nearly 10 years old, and I cannot think of ONE time where his father did not choose a woman over him. So I get it, it is frustrating to deal with.
BUT as frustrating as it is I certainly do not want you single moms out there to fall apart or to get so angry and/or frustrated that you say or do something that is going to make you look like a fool. But I do get it. Because as a mom who would do anything for your child you don’t understand why a man chooses other people over their own flesh and blood, how can he be such a deadbeat dad, and how can he not see what pain it is causing the child. I do not know what makes fathers choose their girlfriend over their own child so I cannot give you any insight into why they do it. What I can tell you is what to do and how to do deal with it.
This post is going to be separated into three parts
First, how to deal with your child’s father not seeing the child.
Second, how you can deal with your child’s father
Third, how you can deal with the girlfriend.
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ How To Deal When The Father Stops Spending Time With The Child
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Communicate the issues
I wish I can tell you that when you communicate the issue that the things may change. That your child’s father will say “yeah I understand” and turn around his behavior. It is possible, BUT it is also possible that he is going to get pissed off with you and accuse you of being jealous or something crazy. Regardless of all of that you still have to communicate the issue. No one is a mind reader and at the very least allow him to try to fix the situation on his own once you tell him that there is a problem. To do this, always remember to practice assertive communication. Say what you mean, what you see the issue is, and what you want him to do better. And give him a chance to correct it.
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Scheduled Visitation
Part of the problem with your child’s father choosing the girlfriend over his child is that he probably spends little to no time with your child because he is probably out and about spending all his time with his girlfriend. To alleviate any confusion, you can come up with a schedule. That way, your child knows when the father is supposed to visit, you know when he is supposed to visit, and the father knows when he is supposed to visit. No one should be confused here. And since he knows when he is supposed to see the child, everyone can shift their schedule in advanced. Therefore, there should not be any excuses on how he forgot to see the child or that he does not time. And really, if your situation is like my situation, then it is possible for him to not adhere to a schedule and come up with all these excuses as to why he is not seeing the child. But remember, you can still try to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to work with them. You cannot control if they are not willing to work with you.
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Get the Court-Involved
No one has time to go back and forth with your child’s father. After all, you are doing the right thing as a single mom while he is out with his girlfriend doing nothing. It can be a lot more frustrating to get the court involved, but once they are involved it can also be more carefree. Meaning that the court sets visitation and they set who has to do what and when. Which means you do not have to. Even with these tips understand that the father still may not see or be there for your child like he is supposed to. All you can do, is do your part and either he is going to step up to the plate or he isn’t. And if he doesn’t then that is his problem NOT YOURS.
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ How to deal with the father
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Choose not to care
I also want you to read my blog how to deal with your child father moving on. But really you have to choose not to care. After you have communicated the issue and done all that you can do, then you just have to not care about what they do. Take it from me, my son’s father had disappeared from my son’s life for YEARS and YEARS on end. With no communication whatsoever. And you just have to choose not to care, get on with your life, do what you need to do as a mother, and do not go into these long conversations with your child about the other woman or his father’s shortcomings. All you have to do is live your life and do the best thing you can do for you and your child, and pretend that neither of them (your child’s father and his girlfriend) exist in your world. Your child will see the situation for what it is and their father for what it is in due time.
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Do What Is Best for Your Child and Don’t Feel Bad
Often times when your child’s father is involved with another woman he may try to get you to do things that are against your better judgment as a parent. For example, after my son’s father was not in his life for four years, he called me up and asked could my son start spending the weekends with him and his new girlfriend. And of course, I said no. And I think you can guess why me sending my son with his father that he had not seen in 4 years and a woman who I have never met a day in my life is not a good idea.
From there, I was seen as being none helpful and keeping my son away from his father. And guess what? I chose not to care. I did not give in because at the end of the day I am doing what I feel is best for my son. And I will not let anyone make me feel bad about it. There are times where your child’s father may want to introduce his girlfriend pre-maturely or try to make you feel like the bad guy because you won’t allow your child to do xy and z with his new girlfriend. But your obligation is to your child and not to him and his new woman. As long as you are doing the right as a mom who cares about what they think.
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ How To Deal With Her
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Do Know Engage and Do No Throw Insults
I do not want to hear that any of you arguing with the other woman, start insulting her and getting into physical altercations with anyone. You are someone’s mother for God sake! Do not make things messier by coming for her. I do not care if she came for you first and called you names. Maintain some class about yourself and about the situation and do not engage. And as soon as it starts to turn messy, then disengage and do not get messy in return.
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Remember You Had A Child With Him And Not Her
There are many women that feel that because she is with your child’s father that it gives her the right to be all up and in your business. It does not. You do not have to go through her to schedule visitation and you two do not have to bond together. You had a child with him and not her and however much you want her to be involved or not be involved you control that situation.
There are some mothers who want to be involved with the girlfriend, be friends, and meet each other. Then there are other ones like me who don’t. Really it is up to do to do what you think is best. But do not get so caught up in the girlfriend and wanting to be the mix of what is going with them that you forget that the whole point is about the child.
The last warning I want to give you is that you have to have peace of mind about the situation. So my final tip to you is to
Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Disengage
Remember on any given moment you have a right to be in peace and disengage from the foolishness. If your child’s father is turning into too much to deal with, she is turning into too much to deal with, or the situation is just frustrating to you. Then choose to disengage. If he chooses to see your child, then have him pick the child up from your mother’s or your friend’s home. You do not have to talk to or be in any situation that you do not want to be in. These are my tips for fathers who choose their girlfriends over their children. Although we may never understand it, it is not for us to understand. They have to live with their consequences, not us. And remember, even as a mother I do not support women putting men over their children (see my blog here).
If you know a fellow single mom that needs to read this post, then feel free to share it with her.
Also, did you know that I have a single mom’s devotional? AND I want to give you the first chapter for FREE. Just click here or the picture below and it is yours.
In this post, I want to talk to you about lies men tell their mistresses. Because one of the most popular posts that I have on my blog to date is “can a married man love his mistress” which you can click here to read. And I am a realist, and so my answer is NO. BUT you would not believe how many women really try to fight me on this. I think the reason is that they get caught up in the hype. They get caught up in the lies. And they really want to believe that this married man loves them, is going to leave his wife for them, or that all the time and/or years that they have spent messing with this married man has NOT been in vain.
As I said in another blog post of mine about what women need to know about married men who cheat, the cold reality is that a married man is just using you to have his cake and eat it too. I am not just saying that it is statistically proven. He will probably lie to you and lie to his wife about you just so that he can keep you both right where he wants to keep you. In your lane, causing him the least amount of trouble as possible. While he has a separate relationship with each of you.
That is why it is so important for you to know the lies men tell their mistresses so that you are under NO delusion that the situation is more than what it is. Now if you are okay about being a mistress and you do not care about what lies he is telling you THEN I would say to you that you need to get some self-esteem. Because for whatever reason you are bent on thinking that you have to share a man and that you don’t deserve a man of your own that can one day marry you. All and all remember what goes around comes around. If you want to be a mistress to a married man and possibly break up his household. Then remember, when you get married the same thing is going to happen to you because that is what you are attracting.
Anyway back to the subject matter at hand,
11 Of The Most Common Lies Men Tell Their Mistresses
Lies men tell their mistresses #1 I am going to leave my wife for you
Men who cheat rarely divorce their wives and marry ‘the other woman.’ Only three percent of men who engaged in extramarital affairs actually married their mistresses. AND if by chance he does end up leaving his wife for you, you have a 75% chance of divorce rate (source). In layman’s terms, the married man is not leaving his wife for you and even in the OFF chance that he did your relationship is destined to fail anyway. Plus, if you get with a man who is willing to leave his wife for you, in the LONG shot that he does marry you then eventually he will probably trade you in for someone else. He has done it before and like the old saying goes. “How you get him is how you lose him.”
Lies men tell their mistresses #2 You Are More Than Just Sex
This is not true, you are probably just sex. The reason why I know this is because most of the time you get together he is having sex with you. What real relationship can be formed with you as the mistress? It is not like he can take you home to meet his family, friends, or like you can go out in public and enjoy life together. In reality, you are not in a real relationship because of his situation, and the reason why you are in the situation with him is because he wants to have sex with you. Which is probably how you spend most of your time.
Lies men tell their mistresses #3 I Love You
Maybe the married men really do thinks he loves you but more than likely he is just telling you that to string you along and make you believe that the relationship is more than what it is. He loves his wife, he married his wife, and he created a family with his wife. That is a more significant indication of love than keeping you tucked away in the corner for his own personal pleasure. What about that spells love?
Lies men tell their mistresses #4 I cannot leave my wife right now because of xyz but once that is over, I will.
Refer back to lie number one. He is not going to leave his wife for you, and he is just telling you that xy and z circumstances are keeping him from leaving his wife. It could be the kids, the fact that she is sick, that she is mentally unstable, or whatever the reason he seems to come up with. The reality is, is that he is just telling you an excuse to keep the situation with you going for as long as possible. The longer he can keep you the strung along the more he can have his cake and eat it too. If a man really wanted to end his marriage then he would do it, and if he is making excuses as to why he can’t do it. It is because he does not want to end his marriage and has no intentions of leaving his wife.
Lies men tell their mistresses #5 I Just Live with My Wife, But I Don’t Love Her
Many men will express a decline in attraction to their spouse, insinuating they’re deprived sexually in some way. One of the most common tactics a married man who cheats will use is to lie about their current living situation. The most common lie is that they’re sleeping in separate beds or on the couch because they need to stay in the home for some reason. Usually, it’s, “for the kids.” (source).
The fact of the matter is that many men are going to say whatever they feel they need to say to get you to sleep with them. They will downplay their situation at home and make it seem like they are not happy when really they are just lying to you, to make you feel sorry for them, and increase the likelihood that you will enter into an affair with them.
Lies men tell their mistresses #6 This is my first time doing this
If he is a cheater, then cheating is in his DNA. It is doubtful that you are the only person that he has cheated on his wife with. According to a survey, 55% of male respondents cheated on their spouse with five or more people (source). So half of the cheaters have been with 5 or more people, and that does not account for the cheaters that have been with 4, 3, or even 2 other people aside from you. Being a cheater is probably who he is.
Lies men tell their mistresses #7 What Does It Matter that I am married, it is you I really want to be with
In this case, the man may not even have the courtesy to lie to you and tell you that he is leaving his wife. He may be very honest that he has no intentions of leaving his wife but tells you that you should not care because you are the one he loves. It is lie. If he really wanted to be with you then he would do that and nothing would be stopping him. He is just making up an excuse of why he is not going to leave his wife and leading you to believe that you are the one he really loves. In this case, he is straight up telling you he is not leaving his wife and just fluffing your tail feathers by telling you he loves you trying to mask the fact that he is really never going to leave his wife. And he is hoping that by using the word “love” with you that you are not going to care.
Lies men tell their mistresses Lie #8 I am a good guy
Many married men will try to trick you into thinking they are a good guy, thinking that if they say it, then it will make it true. If a man is cheating on his wife, his family, or attempting to come to you and cheat on his wife and his family, then he is not a good guy. He is a cheater, and there is nothing good about that.
Lies men tell their mistresses Lie #9 We got married when we were young
Okay so this may be true, he may have gotten married when he was young, but that is called SO WHAT. A man may try to tell you that he got married when he was young or lead you to believe that he was somehow tricked into getting into a married. A man may try to tell you that the love has faded from their marriage because he was a different person back then. Maybe the woman got pregnant and “tricked” him into marrying her very young. Whatever the reason is, he is still married. And if he does not want to be married any more than he can get something called a divorce. Once again if he is not divorced, then he does not want to be.
Lies men tell their mistresses Lie #10 If I get a divorce she will get everything
Once again this may actually be true, BUT the more than anything is that he does not want to get a divorce. A man who really wants out of his marriage will be out of his marriage, point blank period. And even if he is staying in his marriage because his wife will get everything, then that is just another indication that he is staying in his marriage with no plan of leaving his wife.
Lies men tell their mistresses Lie #11 I care about you more than I care about her.
Probably not true because she is the wife, with a ring on her finger. She knows his family, she may have his kids. She knows his friends, and she is on the life insurance policy. He can take his wife out freely in public without being fearful that they may get caught, he pays their bills, the mortgage, and he comes home to her at night. If you really just weigh the facts, it is clear that despite what he says he cares about his wife way more than he cares about you. He took a vow before God, the courtroom, a preacher or whoever married them that he will be with this woman. He has not done that for you. So just his actions alone should prove how much he cares for her.
These are 11 of the most common lies men tell their mistress, and I really hope to God that if you are reading this you are not a mistress or at the very least you are not feeding into these lies that he is telling you. If you are with a married man, then get out! Get out now, do not waste your life, or even years dealing with a man that cannot be 100% committed to you.
If you know a woman that is messing with a married man then go ahead and share this post with her because homegirl deserves to know the truth.
AND I have a book for all of you single women out there that I know will give you encouragement, self-esteem, and put you on the right track to a man that you deserve. Just to show you how excellent my book is for single women is, I want to give you the first chapter for FREE. Just click here or the picture below and it is YOURS.
Have you ever heard of the brand Pixi by Petra? I had not heard of them until I got sent this box full of wonderful makeup items to try out. Before I get into the Pixi Beauty reviews I want to tell you that I was a little skeptical about this actually being a product that would show up well on my skin.
It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that I am a woman of color and I am brown skin. And a lot of issues that we face with makeup is that
It is not pigmented enough.
It does not blend well on my skin.
It looks ashy on me.
It does not show up well on my skin.
It does not look the same shade one me than it does lighter skin tones.
I mean you get the point. But I am happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised on how well both the Pixi liquid fairy lights and the Pixi Gossamer duo worked on my skin.
Pixi beauty reviews ~ First Impressions
post contains affiliate links.
My first impression of the entire collection was positive. I am such a sucker for packaging. It can make me like the makeup a whole lot more if it looks like it comes in a pretty box, which this collection did. I mean granted the box was pretty big. They probably could have got away with putting it in a smaller box. But I did not mind so much.
As for the makeup itself I had not heard of Pixi by Petra at all, the makeup looked really glittery and since I am a grown woman I felt that this had the potential to be an epic fail. I could have looked like a tooth fairy ready to sprinkle Pixi dust off to people and then fly off into never land or something. Glitter can look so wrong past a certain age if not done right. As a woman that is more mature having glitter could come off very childlike and that was something that I was afraid of when I first say this collection.
“Luminous miracle powder lightens, brightens & adds the prettiest glow, all while looking natural on the skin.” Which I actually found to be true.
Pixi beauty reviews ~ The Pixie liquid fairy lights
I freakin love these colors. I am not sure that there is anything else to say about it but I really do love them. They are all pigmented. They show up well on your skin even if you are darker like me AND the eyeshadows last all day. And the glitter stays put on your eye. You do not have to worry about fall out and glitter getting all over your face.
The Pixie liquid fairy lights ~ How To Apply
Apply directly on bare eye lids or over eye makeup as a topper.
Use finger or brush to pat and blend as desired
My personal tips. I find that applying these over eye shadow make the overall look a lot better. Either putting eye-shadow or even a primer underneath these liquid fairy lights will make them pop more and look more pigmented. Also, using the brush to apply the liquid shadows helps with the overall look.
I applied my eye shadow that was near the color of the liquid shadow.
Then used a brush to apply the liquid shadow and pressed it into the skin to give it a better finish.
Use a blending brush to blend out any hard lines.
The Pixie liquid fairy lights ~ Individual Reviews
This is a very pretty color but it is not as pigmented as I would have liked. Once again that is an easy fix. By just putting a lighter toned eye shadow and putting this color on top really gives a nice finish.
This color is very pretty but it is also a hard color to wear because of its gold tones. Once again to make this look more of an everyday look I put a darker gold or even brown eye shadow underneath and then put on this color.
I love this color, I think because I am a woman of color the more darker yet bronzer type tones just tends to mix well with my skin. I really did not feel the need to put an eye shadow underneath, just using a primer and then putting this color on top.
Once again this falls into another color that naturally fits my skin tone that I can just put on and go. It comes off less glittery than the one mentioned above.
I also love this color it has more of a copper type of tone when you put it on.
The Pixi Beauty Reviews ~ The Pixi gossamer duo in the colors
Click here to see a full review on this wig.
These gossamers were actually something that impressed me the most about the highlighters. When you look at the packaging the colors just look really light. So I really did not assume it would go well with blending into my skin. I thought it would just look ashy, bright, or dull and not show up at all. But I was wrong. The colors really did give a highlight effect and it blended into my skin to the point that it just gave me a natural type of color.
This will give you mostly a highlighter effect. I used both of the colors to put a highlight on my cheek.
Other Amazing Facts About Pixi by Petra
The makeup line was created by Petra Strand has 20+ years experience as a makeup artist & product developer.
Petra creates innovative formulations that are infused with botanicals and beneficial ingredients.
Petra has real-world experience as a busy working mother of four, therefore Pixi is truly about multitasking, flaw-fixing, youth-enhancing products for women on-the-go with no time to spare.
Pixi does not test on animals and uses only the highest quality ingredients which have a proven safety record and are widely used in the cosmetics industry.
Overall I would say that this brand is worth the buy and worth the try. For all skin tones.
If you know someone who has been looking to try Pixi by Petra OR if you know someone who is looking for a high quality and pigmented makeup brand, then share this review to her.
Plus you know I am a single mom myself and am so dedicated to transforming you into the mom that is the bomb. Which is why I want to give you my free 5 days guide with more affordable makeup and fashion tips. Just click here or the picture below.
The whole genie ponytail with bang is in style right now. But wanting to do it for yourself can seem time-consuming as in hours and may take some hair doing skills that you may or may not have. So if you want to know how to do a weave ponytail with bangs in under 5 minutes, there is a secret to it. AND that is to just merely BUY a weave ponytail with bangs and clip it in your head. It really is that simple. Which is why I am going to show you 9 ponytails with fake bangs options that will give you can use to create the “high genie ponytail with bangs” look that has become so stylish to do. And all of them will legit take you less than 5 minutes.
But first, you head needs to be prepped. I have natural hair, and most of these ponytails have a relaxed looking texture. If you are relaxed then great, you can just brush up your hair using a little gel, some edge control, and a brush. Your hair will blend well. If you are natural, then you are going to want to either flat iron, blow dry, or get your hair straight in some way. So that it blends with the weave ponytail. And then you gel and edge control to slick back your hair making sure it stays into place. Check out what you need below.
Now on to the ponytail picks (contains affiliate links)
This is the ponytail with fake bangs combination that I bought for myself. I really wanted to do a high ponytail with side bangs, I wanted a ponytail that was high enough that if I set it on top of my head, then it would still be very long. And that is precisely what this ponytail did. I am very short, but even with me setting the ponytail on top of my head the ponytail did reach in the middle of my back. I chose a very natural 1b color, but it comes in many different colors if you want to be different then you can do that. The ponytail is not a drawstring ponytail, and it has combs in it instead. Just put your own hair up in a bun, place this ponytail on top and secure the combs into it. Next to keep the bangs in place there are little clip combs on the bang that you can attach to your head. To make a long story short, this ponytail is not going anywhere. I really did enjoy the entire style, BUT there were times that the bangs came loose and were a little wild on my head. Either way, I got tons of compliments, and the ponytail has a wraparound piece that is already on the ponytail to help it look more natural at the base of your head.
The next high genie ponytail with bangs I am going to get into is one by Vivica Fox, and it looks pretty much identical to the one Yellowtail bang and ponytail. The only difference is that this one is a drawstring ponytail and the one I had just had the combs. This is a weave ponytail with side bangs just like the first one BUT this one, the bangs are shaped a little different. It is a side bang, but it gives more full coverage to the face. See the video below for a full review and tutorial on this ponytail I found on YouTube.
Vivica Fox Two In One BANG-N-PONY BP-FENDY Samsbeauty.com - YouTube
So is another drawstring ponytail by the Vivia Fox Collection. This too is a high genie ponytail with bangs, BUT instead of a side bang, it gives you a very straightforward front bang. I still feel like this style is extremely cute with the front bang and it gives you more of a genie look. Plus the front bang is shaped around your face which keeps it from looking plain and boring. You can learn how to do a weave ponytail by looking at the full review and video below.
So I personally love this ponytail with fake bangs. In fact, it is going to be on my to buy list. I think the cute thing about this ponytail is that it is a lot shorter than the others. Fourteen inches to be exact and I love the big Shirley temple curl. It really does put me in the mind of that one genie ponytail Beyoncé wore, but her ’s is without the bangs. In any case, I love it.
Out of all the genie ponytails, I would have to say that this is actually my least favorite. AND Freetress is one of my favorite brands. I mean it is cute and stylish, but it comes across as a little plain for those of us (like myself ) who is really extra. But if you are a bit more “settle” and you like a decent length hair with bangs then this is the hair for you. You can watch the video below to get a better idea on this style of ponytail.
FREETRESS | LOOSE DEEP PONYTAIL & CHINA BANG - YouTube
So this ponytail was not something that I thought was cute until you actually see it in action. At first, it comes across as looking too curly and too much. The ponytail is also a high ponytail with side bangs, but it is a new type of ponytail in the sense that it is wavy and gives you a new feel. You can watch this full video review below, but I LOVED how she decided to wear the ponytail to the side it just made it that much cuter.
Affordable Finds| 2 In 1 Video| Faux Pony & Bang 1 Piece| Ft. ShopHairWigs - YouTube
This ponytail is a lot like the first one that I tried the only difference is that the ponytail length is shorter. It still has a side bang, the ponytail is straight for those of you who want that. BUT the actual ponytail is short because some people do not want a long ponytail swinging behind them. And if that is you, then this ponytail is a great option.
To me this ponytail is adorable, it is just something about it that I enjoy more so than the other ponytails that has waves in the back. First, the bang is different. It is not a full side bang, but rather a front bang and just swoops to the side which I think gives it a different look from the other ponytails that are a similar style.
I have bought and tried Vivica Fox’s hair, and it usually is not my FIRST go to when it comes to hair. But I have to say that I love this high genie ponytail with bangs. It is just so unique, so cute, and it looks so different from any of the other ponytails that are on the list. I would certainly say give this one a try if you want to change it up and but and be different. This too is on my to buy list. I just think it is so stylish.
Alright, there you have it, how to do a weave ponytail with bangs in under 5 minutes. And as you can see there are so many options for the type of ponytails you can buy.
If you know a fellow hair lover that loves quick and easy hairstyles, then please share this post with them.
Last but not least if you want to be a Single Mom that dresses BOMB then click here or the picture below to get my free 5-day guide to becoming a Mom I’d like to friend. Giving you more affordable fashion and beauty advice.
If you have gone through a divorce, then your life is not over. I want to tell you how to reinvent yourself after a divorce. Anyone who knows me knows that if after you go through a divorce or any type of break up the last thing you want to do is to fall apart and not be able to maintain your sanity or well-being. A divorce is hard but don’t let it break you. In fact, I feel whenever you go through a significant life change that is supposed to break you, you should always come out better than before. And choosing to reinvent yourself after a divorce will allow you to achieve that goal.
7 Tips For Learning How to reinvent yourself after a divorce
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #1 Learn To Be Happy Alone
I know that after a divorce you are so not used to being alone and so the first thing you want to do is to jump back into a serious relationship. Which is NOT good. Because really you are just doing it to cure being lonely. Be happy alone. And when I say be happy alone, I am not telling you to become a hermit or something crazy. You can still l have fun and but realize that YOU are enough and you do not need to be attached to a man’s hip to feel happy or complete. In a post from Guyvorce (yes it may be for guys, BUT the advice is still valid for women). They say:
When you’re in a relationship, and especially when you’re married, you get used to being half of a whole. A lot of the time, other people define you by your relationship, which results in you defining yourself by your relationship. That’s why many people feel a loss of identity when their marriage comes to an end. They’re either scared to be alone or don’t know how to be alone, but being happy when you’re alone is key if you want to reinvent yourself. Until you’re truly happy on your own, you won’t be able to move on and be truly happy with someone else. Go out to eat at restaurants on your own, go to movies by yourself, go on walks, cook new recipes, read, and just learn to enjoy your own company.
And I cosign this advice 100% for anyone looking to reinvent themselves after a divorce.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~#2 Get Your Sexy Back
And no this is not about running around and having sex with a lot of people. This is about after coming out of your divorce you need to be 10 times the woman you were when you were married. Click my blog here for tips on how to get your sexy back. If your ex-husband were to see your or even if your friends report back to him how you are doing, you want it to be an amazing report. You want them to tell your ex that they have never seen you look so happy, so radiant, so attractive, and so well dressed.
I don’t care if you need to lose weight then go ahead and do that. You need to make it your mission that every day when you leave the house, you need to look amazing. It will help you feel amazing about yourself and may even attract the right type of attention from other people. Because when you look great, you feel and behave more confident.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #3 Date
When I say date, once again I do not mean run around and have a bunch of one night stands. I mean just casually date a few men just to get back into the swing of things. Start to re-establish what you like in men and what you are looking for in a man. When you date, do not have to have any expectations for a relationship other than you are having fun and getting to know someone new. Go out dancing, eating, or doing something fun. According to Refinery 29 they state that dating after divorce isn’t always easy. Finding the confidence to try again can be hard, but it’s also exhilarating, fun, and even emotionally rewarding. And all of these things is something that you deserve.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #4 Go Back To School
I do not care how old you are you can go back to school. This is your chance to go back to school and learn something that you really want to learn.
True Story: My friend whose highest degree is a master’s degree in human resources and business management found herself going through a divorce. Once she went through the divorce, she told herself that she really wanted to go back to school to get a degree in culinary and event planning. So at 50 something years old, that is exactly what she did. She earned an associate’s degree in culinary and a bachelor’s degree in event planning.
AND guess what. She was not the only 50 something and UP person in the class. She even went on to do a full internship at a 5-star restaurant. What is my point, she did not care about how old she was, how many degrees she already had, or what people would think about her. She did it because it was something that she wanted to do and it was something that made her happy. And on graduation day she walked across the stage and the whole nine. So if you always want to get a degree in something or to study something then go for it. Don’t let anything hold you back because now is the time to do it. Check out my tips also for going back to school.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #5 Travel
According to Escape Here, traveling after a divorce is exactly what you should be doing. According to them, the idea of traveling soon after a divorce might seem strange. Perhaps you feel you’re too sad or exhausted to board a plane; maybe you’ve never traveled solo before. But traveling right after a divorce can be therapeutic, and can put problems into perspective.
The thing about traveling is that you can do it on your own or you can do it with a bunch of girlfriends. As a person who travels a lot and has lived in another country, when you choose to travel it gives you an opportunity to look at the bigger picture and that the world around you is so big and you need not waste time thinking about your divorce but that there are bigger and better things happening in the world that you can be apart of.
You know what the perfect book that illustrates this point is. Eat, Pray, Love. You can click here to buy the book or you can click here to watch the movie. According to Prezi, the main idea of the book was for a divorced woman, who was in a midlife crisis, and suffering from depression to share her story on how she was able to “learn how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote her to God” Traveling and seeing the world was literally her saving grace.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #6 Get Some God
Speaking of the book in which she went on a journey to find God, after a divorce you can find God too. God is the key to everything. The key to making you feel better, the key for giving you a new direction, telling you which way you should go, the key to helping you navigate life so that you do not keep making the same mistakes again and again. Before I found God I was not the same person I am today. It was through my journey and my relationship with God that I learned to transform into the best version of myself.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #7 Do Something That You Really Want To Do
For this last tip, I want to tell you to do something that you really want to do but that your husband would not let you. It will allow you to feel free, allow you to explore your dreams and your capabilities without feeling limited like you felt during your marriage.
True Story: I have a friend who was married to a very successful husband. In fact she dropped out of college to take on little part-time jobs to put him through college. With the understanding that she was going to be able to go back once he was done going back to college. But as time went on they had children, he got his bachelor’s degree, then he got his law degree, and she stayed at home and was never able to go back to school. When he found another woman and she decided to divorce him, she made it her mission to go back to school and open up a business. Because she was never allowed to do this in her own marriage, he always stopped her and told her that she had to stay home with the kids. All the dreams that she had for herself during the marriage went out the window.
So no matter if you want to skydive, change jobs, move to another country, buy a house, or even write a book. Whatever your heart’s fancy go after it simply because you want to and it will make you happy. Do it because it was something that you really wanted to do during your marriage, but for whatever reason, you could not do it.
There you have it, 7 ways on how to reinvent yourself after a divorce. It sucks that you had to go through a divorce, but don’t let your divorce be your defeat. Never should you just lay down and die because of this situation. Get better, get happier, and reinvent yourself to the best version of yourself.
If you know a fellow divorced woman that needs to read this post, then please feel free to share it with her.
And if you are now a single mom because of a divorce, then I have the book for you. And it is my book specifically for single moms that I know will give you life. You can buy the book by clicking here. Because I know you will LOVE this book so much. I want to give you the first chapter for free! Just click here or the picture below.
My search for a natural looking red wig is finally over. I found this Outre Synthetic Lace Front Wig by the name of Halle (click to buy). I cannot tell you how many red wigs I have bought only to try them on, and I look like Nikki Minaj or Cardi B or something. And although that works great for them, I cannot really walk into my office with a bright behind unnatural looking red wig on my head. People would be giving me the side eye.
However, when I bought this wig I felt it was one of the more natural looking red hair wigs for the following reasons:
It went well with my skin tone as brighter red wigs have a tendency to look a little fake on me.
It was a very good lace front wig (even though it was synthetic) and it looked like it was growing out of my scalp.
It had a pretty realistic looking part without me plucking or doing anything to it.
The red hair had dimension which kept it looking more natural.
Natural Looking Red Hair Wigs Bonus Tip ~ How I Made This Wig More Natural
Before I get into the full review of this wig I want to give you an easy tip on how I made this hair look more natural. Obviously, my natural hair is not red, and so when I put on the wig, my eyebrows were still blackish/ very dark brown. Which to me just made it look like I was wearing a wig. My hair being one color and my eyebrows being another color.
And since I was not going to go crazy and actually dye my eyebrows, I came up with the idea to just get burgundy/dark red eye shadow. Get my eyebrow brush and simply apply the eye shadow to my eyebrows. Which allowed my eyebrows to match the wigs and gave me a more overall more natural feel.
Now on to the review
Natural looking red hair wigs Outre Halle~ Why I Bought this wig
I really wanted a dark red wavy wig. It put me in the mind of when Rhianna had red hair. And when I saw this one online, I felt that it would be perfect. But as I said, I had a few bad experiences with red hair wigs.
So instead of just taking a leap of faith and hoping for the best, I actually googled reviews of this wig and found a woman video on this wig and watching that video is what actually influenced my decision.
OUTRE LACE WIG HALLE REVIEW!!!!!! - YouTube
Natural looking red hair wigs Outre Halle ~ First Impression
The wig is very red, but it is an appropriate shade of red. The hair was not too bright, and the hair was not too dark. It did shock me a bit as I put on the hair because I was not used to having such bright red hair but when I wore it to work, I actually got tons of compliments on it. The lace of the wig was pretty decent for it to be a red synthetic wig. I did not have to pluck it or do anything special to it. The only thing I did was cut off the lace and wear it. And the hair came down far enough on my forehead that it covered up my naturally dark hair. It would not have been a good look if I had a red wig and you could still see my black baby hairs peeking through the front.
Another bonus that I was shocked about was that the hair was a lot longer than what I thought. Granted I am short, and most wigs are longer on me then they are other people BUT this hair came past my butt. One thing I also noticed as that the density in the hair was pretty thin but for me, it did not compromise the integrity of the wig, and the density went with the style of the wig.
Natural looking red hair wigs Outre Halle– Specs on this wig
This wig is a red synthetic wig. For me, I actually think that as a bonus. I have a red human hair wig, and it had the tendency to bleed from when they dyed it. Plus getting a wig in synthetic fibers over human hair allows you to save some money. I did want a dark red wavy wig when I bought this hair it really did make me want to straighten it. I felt both the length and the color would look bomb with it straightened. Although I have not done that yet because I am afraid the wave will be gone forever, and it is hard to get waves back after you straighten a synthetic wig.
Either way, you do have the option of straightening this hair because it can take up to 400F of heat and it is made of heat resistant fiber. I personally think that this hair would look amazing straightened. And I have tips on how you can put waves back in the hair of a synthetic wig (click my blog here).
The wig is a lace front wig, and it comes with 6 inches of parting space. I must say that this is NOT a free part wig. You have only have one part that goes 6 inches deep, you cannot change it, or just part the hair anywhere. For me that was no big deal if I really wanted a side part wig then I would just shift the wig to the side.
The pros of this wig are that it is affordable and it is only $39.99. An advantage of the wig is also the length of the hair I love the fact that it is long. I also like the dark red wavy wig effect, and it is perfectly layered. I did not have to cut the hair at all it is just naturally shorter in the front and gets longer in the back which I feel gives it such a beach wave feel. The lace front is also a big PRO. I literally went into the 7-11 by my job that I visit very often. The lady commented on how I changed my hair. And I was like no this is a wig. She opened her mouth and was shocked that it was a wig because the lace on the front was very well done and looked like it was growing out of my head. Also, she pointed out that my part looked like an actual scalp. AND then she asked me could I take off my wig in the stop to show her. I think you know what my answer is. I mean I visit that 7-11 all the time but I am not that close with her that I am going to show her the lace on my wig. BUT there is a point to this story. I feel like if you have random people confused on if you dyed your hair or not and think that your hair is real, then it must be a pretty good quality wig.
For me, the only thing that I say is that I wish that the sides of the wig would come further down. And this may be a me thing. I get like this with a lot of wigs because I have lower sideburns that wigs do not cover. But the hair is worn down, so it is not like anyone is going to really see that side of your hair as the wig is a lace front, but it is not meant to be pulled back.
Another con is that I really wished that this wig was a free part wig in the front. It did say it had 6 inches of parting space when the part is already there and cannot be moved. As of now, you can just wear the wig one way, but I think it would have given the wig more styling ability for it to have a more free parting type of situation. Either way, none of the cons about this wig are huge cons.
Of course, I am going to give this wig a 10 out of 10 I really do not have anything wrong to say about it. I love the waviness of the hair, the length, the style, the fact that you can straighten it, and I love the dimension of the red that allows the hair to look more natural over a cosplay or a costume wig.
If you know a fellow wig lover that is looking for a natural looking red wig, then go ahead and share this wig review with them.
Also, do you know that I want to give you something for FREE? It is my 5 Day Guide to becoming a single mom that is the bomb. Full affordable makeup and styling tips. All you have to do is join my email list, become a part of Sophie-stication Nation and you can get instant access and it is free. Click here or the picture below. Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram for more hair looks. Follow me here.