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The sweet sound of silence after you’ve taught your babies the skills to sleep through the night is nothing short of bliss for the whole family. But for the first couple of nights, there’s usually some crying involved, which can cause some strife if you have another child in the house.

Today, I’ll discuss the challenges of sleep training with a sibling in the house, or even in the same room, and give you some tips on how to get through it with a minimal amount of disruption to the rest of your family.

Sleep Training With Siblings - YouTube

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– Hi, I’m Dana. Welcome to this weeks video.

One of the most popular questions I get asked, is how can you sleep train a baby if you have another child in the house? And this prevents people from making change much longer than it should, because you have this fear that uh oh, one child is gonna wake up the other child. And now I’m gonna have both children awake. And that’s going to be a nightmare.

So the fear of that scenario prevents people from making any kind of positive change. I’m here to tell you that the harsh reality is that yes, you might have a night or two where one child does wake up the other child. I mean most of us do not live in houses large enough to hide from a child who’s crying. It’s inevitable, it’s going to happen. And my best advice is to just make peace with it.

That’s all you can do. It’s going to be a rough night or two as we train this baby to sleep well.

The good news is, though, right, that once you go through it, then you’re going to have a child who’s sleeping well. And hopefully your other child also sleeps well. And now you’re going to have a situation where both babies, both children are going down wonderfully and sleeping all night. That’s the end game.

So my advice would be to keep your eye on the prize. Right, that end game of both children sleeping beautifully, night after night, after night, for a lifetime of great sleep skills. That’s worth it right?

When you think about the big picture of life, a few rough nights with both kids being awake, not the end of the world.

Now what I suggest you do is prep your older child. Because sometimes toddlers or preschoolers get a little anxious when they hear baby brother or sister crying in another room, and they wanna come and see what’s going on, and how can I help. So it’s important that you sit your child down and explain, listen we’re gonna be sleep training baby brother. We’re gonna be teaching him to sleep well. There might be a few nights that you hear him crying. But just know that mommy’s dealing with it. Everything’s okay. And if you hear him or her, just go back to sleep, and all will be well in the morning.

Now this might mean that your toddler has a little bit of fractured sleep. They maybe are woken up a little too early that day, or maybe they had a night waking where they usually don’t. So they might be feeling a little fatigued the next day or two as you go through this process. And that’s okay. Right, a little bit of short term over tiredness in the name of everyone sleeping wonderfully is a small price to pay.

So maybe you just need to monitor the next day. Make sure your older child’s getting a nap if they still nap. Make sure you could even move their bedtime a little bit earlier than usual for a few nights, if they’ve had, you know, a bit of night time wake ups due to the baby. But I think it’s worth it. I would encourage you to go ahead and start. Because why keep waiting. There’s never gonna be a magical day where you know, this is going to be okay, or perfect with no kind of wake up. And just monitor your expectations. Stay calm. Know that this is just short term for such a wonderful long term pay off.

Thanks for watching today. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post Sleep Training With Siblings appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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Parents of toddlers often encounter this scenario where, out of the blue, their little one just stops taking naps. They’ll lie in their crib, play with their fingers, babble away to themselves, but just refuse to go to sleep.

So what gives? They’re obviously tired and still in need of a daytime nap, so why won’t they close their eyes and get some rest?

I’m happy to tell you that this situation is almost always temporary and fairly easy to get through with the right information, which I’ll provide for you in this week’s video.

What to do if Your Toddler Stops Napping - YouTube

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– Hi, I’m Dana. Welcome to our video.

What should you do if seemingly out of the blue your toddler stops napping? That’s a very popular question, and I have some really good news for you.

I know you’re probably thinking, uh-oh, are the days of napping over? Well, most likely not. And what tends to happen with toddlers, usually around the two to 2 1/2 age range, is that they’ll get into their crib or into their toddler bed, and they’re quite happy to go there, only they just don’t fall asleep.

Instead, they do things like chat to themselves or sing songs or walk around their crib. And this can go on for an hour or more. And they might not fall asleep at all, of if they do, it’s for a short period of time. And a lot of parents think, I guess she no longer needs daytime naps.

But the truth is that the reality of what’s happening has more to do with developmental milestones than anything else. Right around this age, and you’ll sort of see it show up periodically through the second and third year of life, is that there’s a little surge of language acquisition. And you’ll probably notice that your toddler’s doing a little more babbling or a little more communicating or a little more singing or playing.

And that’s great to see, ’cause that’s when they start talking, and that’s so much fun. But what happens when they get into their crib or their bed is they have all of this time, right? They have free time basically to let their mind wander. It’s almost like a developmental need to just keep practicing sounds and singing and babbling, and this can go on through the entire nap time.

Now, the good news in this is that it will phase out. So you’ll notice it for a week or two, maybe even into the 2 1/2 and three week range, and it’s okay, I don’t want you to panic. I want you to continue to give your child this space.

So you’re going to put them down like you normally would, tell ’em it’s nap time just like you normally would, and basically ignore the behavior. Once the little surge is over and the child’s sort of mastered a few new skill sets in the language world, then it’ll settle back down again and she will most likely go back to napping wonderfully like she always has.

If after three weeks though you don’t see any change in this, it’s just continuing to happen or you’re getting now some protest involved in the scenario as well, then you could consider, is it time to end this daytime nap? And I would say that’s gonna show up a little closer to the three, maybe into the 3 1/2 age range, but it wouldn’t be out of the question for her to no longer need that nap.

But what you’re going to need to do instead is move bedtime earlier. If she’s not napping at all, you’re gonna wanna move bedtime up. It should be hitting around the seven o’clock hour. Sometimes you’ll even need to go into the 6:30 just for a week or so to kinda compensate for this body clock change. And it’s a pretty significant one, so give it time. And then you can decide, is she ready to drop the nap or not?

But for now, just ride it out and see what happens. Give your toddler the time and the space and maybe you wanna record a little bit of it. You can play it at her wedding.

Thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post What to do if Your Toddler Stops Napping appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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I’m not trying to offer a magic number here. Newborns wake more often than infants, who wake up more often than toddlers, and so on. But in today’s video, I’ll give you an idea of how often the average baby wakes up at each stage of life, as well as some insights as to what might be causing your baby to be waking up more often than they should be.

How Often Should my Baby Wake Up at Night? - YouTube

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– Hi, I’m Dana. Welcome to this week’s video.

One of the most popular search questions is how many times should my baby be waking up in the night? And that is a tricky question to answer. And it really depends on a few different things.

Obviously, it depends on the age of your child. If we’re talking newborn baby, well, that could be once, twice, three or four times. There really is no magic number for a newborn. We know they need to eat. They need to eat around the clock, 24 hours a day. And that’s really challenging and taxing on a parent. I get it. But that is the way their little bodies are designed, and so we have to adapt for the sake of their survival.

Okay, so we all get that, that we have to have newborns eating in the night, and I would never say anything other than that. But let’s now move past that. Right, let’s move into the three to four month age range.

I would say on average, three to four month old babies are waking about once, maybe twice a night for food. So if your baby’s waking more than that, you might wanna check out what else could be going on. And the biggest thing that’s usually going on that’s causing more wake-ups is a prop dependency.

So that would mean that your baby is being rocked to sleep or to fed to sleep, and that is why she’s having frequent nighttime wake-ups. Some of that is probably food-related, absolutely, but some of it’s not. Some of it is prop-related. So she has a naturally occurring wake-up in the night, because waking it the night is normal and common, but because she’s dependent on your rocking or your feeding or whatever it is, she’s going to need your help. She can’t do this on her own.

So, if you’re gonna feed her, okay, she’ll take it. Maybe she needed it or she didn’t need it. But often it’s just the prop that they’re waking up for, so feed me back to sleep, rock me back to sleep, do whatever you did to get me to sleep in the first place, ’cause I can’t do this myself. And that’s why you’re getting more frequent wake-ups.

Now, let’s move into the six month to 12 month age range. Now, there are some babies at the six month mark who still may need one nighttime feed, one. And that would be if there’s some health issues or if there’s any kind of weight concerns. There may be some valid reason why your six month old baby still needs a nighttime feed. If your six month old baby, though, is waking up more than once, two, five, eight times a night, then you have a prop dependency problem. And that is something that you could address.

You don’t have to yet. You could wait and see. But I would encourage you if you’re having multiple nighttime wake-ups past this point that you investigate this. You could have a look at The Sleep Sense Program. I’ll give you a clear step-by-step guide for why your baby’s not sleeping well and how we’re gonna encourage her to start developing some really good sleep skills that are all her own.

Now, if you’ve got a 12 month old and up, though, that’s having any kind of nighttime wake-up, then, again, it’s a prop dependency problem. It really shouldn’t be a food issue. Even if she doesn’t eat great during the day and you’re worried about that, I promise you, if you stop feeding in the night, she will start eating better during the day. It’s just a biological fact.

So, if you’ve got an older still waking up in the night, then you’re gonna look at your bedtime, what’s going on there, what could possibly be the prop. Once you’ve identified the prop, then, again, you would follow the steps outlined in the program for teaching her how to sleep without this prop. And the good news is she can learn it, absolutely she can. And it’s always surprising to me still, 15 years into this business, how quickly they learn it. I mean, it’s a brand new skill for a lot of kids, and within a few nights they’ve figured out how to do this.

So, that’s the great news. Thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post How Often Should my Baby Wake Up at Night? appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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“The Ferber Method” is probably the most widely recognizable strategy for getting a baby to sleep through the night, and with good reason. It works.

However, it has also met with no small amount of controversy from critics who say that allowing a child to cry, even for a short period of time, can cause elevated stress levels and hurt the bond between babies and parents. (Evidence points to the contrary, but that’s a debate for another time.)

Today, I’ll explain exactly what the Ferber method involves and how it differs in one essential way from the Sleep Sense Program.

What is "The Ferber Method?" - YouTube

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– Hi, I’m Dana, welcome to this week’s video.

You know if you’re a new parent, you have probably, well let’s rephrase. If you’re a new parent whose baby’s not sleeping well, you have probably heard the term the Ferber method. And a lot of people wonder what? Why do people keep saying that to me and what is it?

Let me give you a little rundown today of what the Ferber method is, so we’re clear what the Ferber method is and then I’m gonna share with you why my method is a little different.

The Ferber method’s been around for a long time, I don’t wanna say a number ’cause I’m probably gonna get it wrong but I would say at least since I was a baby. You can guess how long that might be. And what it really means, and now there’s a whole bunch of other stuff around this. If you wanna know a little bit of the back story of why babies aren’t sleeping well then check out my video called What is a Sleep Prop.

And the crux of the issue is that babies who aren’t sleeping well aren’t sleeping well because they’re prop dependent. Meaning they need help. They can’t do this on their own. They need you to do something for them. Usually involves feeding to sleep. That’s the most popular. Breast or bottle. Followed by rocking to sleep. That’s the second most popular.

So every time they have a little wake up in the night they usually cry because they want you to come and help them again. They don’t really know how to do this on their own. So in order to teach a baby to sleep well you have to allow them to figure out some strategies for getting to sleep on their own. Independently, let’s call it. Not necessarily on their own but independently.

So when they wake up in the night hey, I got this. No problem. I know how to do it. And back to sleep they go. And they can do that. I promise you, they really can.

So the Ferber method is basically an approach to teaching a baby independent sleep skills. And the premise is that you keep your baby awake through their routine, you put them into their crib or bassinet awake, and then you do something called leaving and checking. So you leave the room maybe for three minutes. You come back. You make sure your baby’s fine. You reassure her that everything’s okay. Then you leave again.

Now this time you leave for a little longer. Maybe it’s five minutes. You can go in, you check on her. You leave again now for seven, 10 minutes. A little longer.

So the basic premise of the Ferber method is that each time you leave you extend the time that you’re gone. Honestly, this method’s been around for years. People do it, it works. I’m not in any way criticizing it. I think it’s a fabulous program and it works.

The trouble though for a lot of parents is that they don’t like the idea of the leaving part. Bottom line. That is why so many people resist making changes or helping their babies learn to sleep well because of this leaving piece. And I get it. I absolutely get it. If my children are learning a new skill and it’s hard for them, I don’t really wanna leave them on their own either. I wanna be there. I wanna encourage them. I wanna cheer them on. I wanna give them time and opportunity to practice. I’m gonna basically support them as they learn a new skill.

But I can’t learn the skill for them. They have to learn that themselves. So unfortunately that’s going to involve some sort of crying until she sees the way. Until she figures out, oh these are the things that I do to calm myself, to soothe myself, to fall asleep peacefully. And she will figure those out.

So the Sleep Sense Program offers an option where you don’t have to leave. If that makes you uncomfortable don’t leave. Just stay.

Now there’s some rules around that, right? You wanna encourage her. Don’t wanna involve yourself in any way into her strategies. You wanna let her develop those on her own. So if you wanna learn more about that you pick up a copy of the Sleep Sense Program. I’m gonna give you step-by-step guide for how you get your baby to fall asleep independently, stay in the room, and not interfere in the process.

So those are the differences. If Ferber works for you and that makes sense to you, use it. There’s lots of ways to solve this problem. Doesn’t have to be only my way. I get that.

Thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post What is the “Ferber Method?” appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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Making changes to your baby’s nap schedule is a tricky process, and the trickiest one of them all is the switch from three naps a day to two.

In today’s video, I’ll help you decide whether or not your little one’s ready to make the transition, and if so, how to go about it in order to minimize the fallout and keep baby on a happy, healthy sleep schedule.

Moving From 3 Naps to 2 - YouTube

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– Hi, I’m Dana, welcome to this week’s video.

It can be tricky to figure out when it’s time to transition your baby into a different nap schedule and the trickiest of the transitions is usually moving from three naps a day to two naps a day.

So I’m going to give you some tips today to figure out if she’s ready and how do I do it?

Now, age range, let’s talk that first. So most babies between the ages of three months and let’s say six to seven months are almost always taking three naps a day.

They can really only tolerate about an hour and a half to two hours of time awake before they need to sleep again and hopefully, the naps are long enough so that there’s enough time in the day where you can get three beautiful naps and a fairly early bedtime.

That’s perfection, right? But now, all of a sudden, she’s taking a really great morning nap like two hours, even sometimes two and a half, a decent noonish nap and then really not a good third nap at all and what tends to happen is they either just chat all the way through or sing to themselves or babble away in their cribs for 40 minutes, maybe fall asleep for 20 and it just doesn’t feel like a good quality nap or they just start crying all of a sudden.

In that third nap, they just won’t go down for it and it can be tricky because then you realize, well, she hasn’t really slept since about two o’clock this afternoon and now there’s all this time between that nap and bedtime. She won’t take that third nap anymore so what do we do?

That is usually a good sign that it’s time to transition your baby to two naps a day and this is a little bit of a push and I think that’s important to keep in mind that every transition requires a little bit of a push, right? It’s not as simple as just oh, she’s totally ready, she can handle everything, it’s fine.

Body clocks need a little encouragement and so she’s gonna still seem sleepy at that hour and a half or two hour mark and you’re going to have to push her past that a little bit.

Now, I know if you’ve watched any of my videos before, I hate overtiredness, I’m always telling you to watch out for that and I want us to still watch out for it but I’m going to need you to push her a little bit.

So let’s just try an extra 20 minutes. That’s a great place to start because 20 minutes isn’t long enough that it’s going to push into overtiredness but it’ll just help us get our spacing better, right, because now she’s really going to have to manage longer awake times or this isn’t gonna work, right?

So we’re gonna push that first nap down by about 20 to 30 minutes then we push the second nap down by about 20 to 30 minutes and I would do that for roughly three to four days and then push it a little bit more, maybe 15 minutes more for each of these. So we’re just stepping into this slowly.

Now, the trickiest spot here though is still that third nap. Even though we’re pushing down the day slightly, we still might have too much time between when she slept last and bedtime. So you have two choices and sometimes you do them both. You can plan for a cat nap in the late afternoon. I would use the stroller or the car if you needed to. Stroller would be my first preference and then possibly the car and see if some help with motion will encourage her to just take a little 20, 30 minute cat nap and that’ll take the edge off at least so that we can keep bedtime fairly consistent.

You may also need to move your bedtime earlier and sometimes you need the cat nap and the earlier bedtime but if you can get by with just moving bedtime up, you can even move it up an hour if you had to. Again, I would way rather move bedtime earlier by an hour for a few weeks to prevent overtiredness than try to hang on to this seven o’clock bedtime or eight o’clock bedtime and have her go to bed so overtired that the night is now impacted.

So that is no big deal and that’s not where bedtime will stay. I promise you, you won’t be putting her to bed at six p.m. indefinitely but for the short term, it’s fine to bring that forward.

Now, last tip to keep in mind. Any change to the body clock takes at least four weeks to settle and I think people don’t know that and so they try something for a few days and it’s not going well and so they think she’s not ready and they try to move back. She’s probably ready but the body clock just needs a little time to adjust to these changes. So be patient, know that it’ll come around. Naps may get a little bit shorter for the short term until again her body clock gets in line with this and then she starts taking beautiful naps again.

Thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post Moving From 3 Naps to 2 appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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We’re all familiar with the idea that some people are naturally “light sleepers,” but when your baby is one of those individuals who wakes up at every little peep, it can force the whole house into a forced silence during every nap and bedtime.

In today’s video, I’ve got an explanation for this phenomenon and, believe it or not, a solution to the problem! I know, I know. It sounds too good to be true, but give it a try and see how it goes.

Why is my Baby Such a Light Sleeper? - YouTube

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– Hi, I’m Dana. One of the questions I get asked a lot is how can I help my baby become a deeper sleeper? My baby’s such a light sleeper.

I can’t tell you how often I hear somebody tell me their baby is a light sleeper. There is a reason why your baby is a light sleeper and I’m gonna tell you what it is and give you some tips on how to fix it.

So I mean, first of all, let’s talk sleep in general. We all cycle through about four cycles a night followed by our REM cycle and this whole four piece cycle plus REM is about 90 to 120 minutes all night long. So it’s called a sleep cycle.

So pieces of that cycle are quite light actually. Stage one and two. Stage one is basically drowsiness. Stage two is still pretty light and then stage three and four are our deepest piece of the cycle. Very difficult to wake somebody in stage three. Very difficult. And then REM sleep is actually quite light again.

So if a siren goes by when you’re in stage two or the fire alarm goes off when you’re in REM, there’s a good chance you’re gonna wake up. That’s just the way it is. That’s the way our bodies were designed.

Now, why do so many parents tell me their baby’s a light sleeper though? That’s a bit different. The reasons are a little different there. Most of the time, if you are rocking your baby to sleep, feeding your baby to sleep, giving your baby a pacifier every time she has to sleep then they don’t have independent sleep skills.

They are dependent on a prop we call it. There’s a prop dependency. So something external helps them get to sleep. So I can’t do it myself. I need help. That’s really the way it looks.

So if a siren goes by when they were in stage two and they wake up, they’ll usually start to cry because now I’m awake, I heard the siren, I’d like to go back to sleep please, please come in and do all the things that you got me to, how you got me to sleep in the first place and then that’s why parents that are like tip toeing around and they’re scared to play music and they won’t have people over for dinner and they’re just like, I had clients once who really literally were watching TV with headphones on ’cause they were so worried they were gonna wake up their baby who was such a light sleeper.

Now, the good news is once you teach a baby to sleep independently, so we say goodbye to those props and they learn a way to get to sleep that’s all their own, whatever that looks like then it’s not the end of the world if they have a wake up in the night. If the dog barks and wakes her up, she realizes, oh, I heard the dog and goes back to sleep the same way you do if you hear a firetruck go by in the middle of the night.

You acknowledge firetruck, go back to sleep because you have the skills. So then all of a sudden, this baby who wakes up at every sound that goes on in the house now can handle it if something wakes her and all of a sudden, you think, wow, my light sleeper went to a deep sleeper and that’s really going to help at least. I mean, there’s still, if she’s in stage two and the fire alarm goes off, she’s probably gonna wake up, I mean, and maybe be a little alarmed by the sound.

So there’s no way to prevent wake ups. People are not in comas when they sleep so that’s important to keep in mind. If someone’s sleeping, I’m not gonna run the vacuum cleaner right beside their head. I mean, we need to be respectful that people are trying to sleep but this will help at least. You can have your dinner parties again. You could at least watch TV with the volume up loud enough to hear because your child will be able to handle it.

Alright, thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post Why is my Baby Such a Light Sleeper? appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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There’s nothing to compare to the level of frustration you feel when you’ve just spent an hour rocking, shushing and soothing your baby to sleep, only to put her down in her crib, silently tiptoe out of the room, and then hear her start to fuss again. 15. Minutes. Later.

Why, when babies need so much sleep, do they seem to wake so frequently and have so much trouble going back to sleep afterwards? The answer is actually not all that complicated, and I’m happy to tell you, neither is the solution.

Why Does my Baby Keep Waking Up? - YouTube

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– Hi, I’m Dana. Welcome to this week’s video.

You know, I can remember when my first son was a newborn. My husband developed something he called the three-tier system, and that was basically however long it took to rock our son to sleep, and he was not easy to rock to sleep, I’ll tell you people, so half an hour later, he’s finally asleep, in my husband’s arms, and he would go to the crib, and he said the three tier system started with, you know, some gentle rocking here, right, for a minute or two.

Now we move to tier two, which is a little closer to the crib, and we do some rocking here, and then tier three is right above the crib, and we were doing a little bit of rocking here, and then as gently as he possible could, sliding those hands out slowly, backing away from the crib, as quietly as he could, all in the hopes that the child would remain asleep.

And this, I’m going to explain to you why this happens, but for a lot of new parents, this is like pull your hair out frustration, because if you make it to the door, even if you make it out of the room, it doesn’t last very long, does it?

It lasts 20 minutes if you’re lucky, or 45 minutes. And there he is, awake again, right? And you just think, why? Why won’t you stay asleep? Why? I’m gonna tell you why, I know now why, 15 years later, I have figured out why.

So when we fall asleep, you have to think about this. Like, think way back in time, sort of the evolution of the human species. We would need to be aware of our environment on some level, wouldn’t we? We can’t go into a coma every time we sleep, or we wouldn’t have made it as a race. We’d be like eaten, or predators, or our enemies would have got us.

Sleep is actually a little bit absurd when you think about it like that. Basically, we’re vulnerable, all animals and humans alike, we’re vulnerable when we sleep. We’re basically asking out bodies to be vulnerable for eight or nine hours every single day.

So on some level, we need awareness. We need to know, hey did we hear something funny? And especially when we have children, most people say their sleep awareness heightens, because they’re kinda always keeping one ear open, do my kids need me for any reason?

So when a child is in your arms asleep, and you transfer them to a new location, it doesn’t last very long, because of that awareness piece. Imagine if you fell asleep on the couch, and then somehow sensed that you were no longer on the couch, imagine how alarmed you would be by that.

You would fly awake. You would just shoot yourself awake, because you’d be scared. Like, you were asleep on the couch, now you don’t feel like you’re on the couch anymore, you sense that you’re somewhere new. Where am I? And you realize that you’re in your bed, and you think how did I get here, right? How did this happen? And you’re going to investigate, get up and figure out who moved you, and why.

And that’s what happens to babies. On some level, they’re aware that they’re no longer asleep where they were, and if you watch a baby when they kind of realize this, they often, their eyes ping open, their arms usually shoot out, if they can sit or stand, they usually go right to that position as soon as they open their eyes, because they’re alarmed.

They don’t know what’s gone on here, is basically what they’re saying. And they usually start to cry right away. So that is why, okay? So my advice is, let’s have them fall asleep in the same place they’re gonna be when they have any kind of a wake-up. And if you’re wondering, “How do I possibly do that,” I would encourage you to pick up a copy of the Sleep Sense Program, because I basically walk you through every step of the process of teaching a child to sleep independently in the same place they wake up, every time they have a little naturally-occurring wake up, they’re gonna realize, oh yeah, I know where I am, everything’s fine, and go back to sleep.

Thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well!

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post Why Does my Baby Keep Waking Up? appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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It sounds like a simple question, but like all things baby-related, it’s not such a simple answer. The optimal bedtime for your baby can depend on a lot of factors which can vary from day to day.

In today’s video, I’ll give you some tips to help you figure out what those factors are and how they can help you determine the right time to say goodnight to your little one.

When Should I Put my Baby to Bed? - YouTube

Rather read than watch? Click here.

– Hi, I’m Dana. Welcome to this week’s video.

A question I get asked a lot is, “What time should I put my baby to bed?” That sounds like an easy question, doesn’t it? But it doesn’t really have an easy answer, so I’m gonna give you some guidelines today on when should your baby be going to bed.

Now, I like early bedtimes. I mean, I’m a huge fan of it, right? Because it means that my child is going to bed before she’s overtired, and I’m getting some sort of evening to myself. I mean, that is a necessity, in my opinion. Everybody needs time for themselves. So having my kids in bed by seven made a lot of sense to me and it was something I honestly enjoyed.

Most of the time I see babies going to bed too late, and children and toddlers and all children are usually going to bed too late. It’s very shocking sometimes to tell clients that seven o’clock is a great place for your baby to get going to bed. Eight o’clock I can live with as well as long as the daytime naps are supporting that.

And that’s really the bottom line here, is you have to look at what’s happening in the day. The better a baby sleeps during the day, the better she’s gonna sleep at night. Don’t let anyone tell you different, right?

If a baby becomes overtired, it is really the worst thing that could happen if you’re trying to encourage sleep. I mean, think about when you feel overtired. It’s a feeling of unrest really. You feel a bit jittery, your mind is kind of racing all over the place, and it’s very difficult to calm yourself down enough to let sleep come. And for babies, just amplify that by about 10. And they get wired and manic and jittery and hyper. All of those things show up.

And it can be a bit deceiving, because it looks like they’re in a pretty good mood and a look of parents think, oh, well, look at her. She’s just being a delight and racing around and really happy, or else really sad and waffling back and forth between those two all over the place.

That’s overtiredness, okay. So you wanna really keep a close eye on how much time awake is your child having? Now, there’s a great guide in The Sleep Sense Program that breaks it down by age range how much sleep a child needs, how much time awake a child can handle given their age. But let’s say for the sake of our discussion I’m talking about an eight month old. An eight month old, most eight month olds need about three hours of time awake, sometimes 3 1/2.

So if the last nap ends at three o’clock, right, then you know your baby’s gonna need to be in bed by about 6:30 in order to have a proper amount of fatigue and not too much. So, I guess the answer is somewhere between 6:30 and eight. But the most important thing to look at is daytime sleep and when the last nap ends. You don’t want too much time to go by between that last nap and bedtime, or you will run into a problem with overtiredness.

Thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post When Should I Put My Baby to Bed? appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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We hear the term “cry-it-out” a lot when it comes to sleep training, and it doesn’t always have the nicest connotation. Many new parents tend to think it involves placing their newborn in the crib, closing the door, and leaving their precious new baby alone until 7:00 rolls around. For anyone under this impression, I can happily tell you that isn’t the case.

I personally don’t use a traditional cry-it-out approach in The Sleep Sense Program, but I feel like the term itself needs a little clarification so that everyone has the facts they need to decide for themselves if it’s the approach they want to take.

What Does "Cry-it-Out" Really Mean? - YouTube

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– Hi, I’m Dana. Welcome to this week’s video.

I would say that one of the most popular search questions on Google is what does cry it out mean?

Now, if you’re a new parent, and I can remember back to when I was a brand new parent and I’m having these challenges with my son, he’s not sleeping great at the time, and I’m just sort of throwing out little feelers to my friends and family about it, like he’s not sleeping great. He’s five months old now and we’re up multiple times during the night.

And every once in awhile I would get an answer, “Oh, just let him cry it out.” And I heard this from this friend and this mother-in-law and this even doctor or nurse, this idea of letting a baby cry it out. And when you hear it and you’re a new parent and you hear just that sentence, it’s a weird thing, right? You’re thinking, just let him cry it out? I’m just gonna leave him in his crib to cry? Why does that solve the problem? Why is that the answer?

I mean, there’s so many questions that arrive when you think about let your baby cry it out. So, I’m glad you’re here, ’cause I’m gonna tell you what this means and why people say it.

So, when babies aren’t sleeping well, it’s because they have a prop dependency on something external. For example, nursing to sleep, bottle feeding to sleep, being rocked to sleep. All of those little external helpers are what now your baby believes that he or she needs in order for sleep to come and in order to get back to sleep in the middle of the night. I need all the things that help me get to sleep in the first place.

I mean, we all have strategies around sleep that we’re very protective of. So when your baby has a prop dependency, they’re gonna wake up one, five, 10 times a night, who knows, and need help getting back to sleep. And that’s what’s hard and frustrating as a parent. Months, even years later, this is still happening.

So the only way, and I’m just telling the truth, people. I’m a truth-teller. The only way to get your baby to sleep well is to teach them how to do it without all this external help. So they have to say goodbye to something and figure out a new way, a better way, and that’s hard, right?

Think about all the times you’ve tried to make a positive change in your life, break a bad habit. It’s not easy. We don’t just jump into this with arms wide open and embrace change. We just don’t do it.

So there’s really no way to convince a baby or a toddler or even a child that they don’t need those things anymore and it will be really easy if they just please now do it this way. Okay, that makes sense, right? Making changes to anyone’s sleep habits is gonna be met with some sort of protest on their part. So the idea that a baby will happily do this without any upset, that doesn’t make sense, does it? No, it really does not. They don’t know how to do this yet, so that’s gonna be a little anxiety-causing.

Now, that’s where the crying part comes in, because usually the expression to the change is crying. I don’t know how to do this without the help. This is uncomfortable for me. I’m gonna cry. Now, where people usually get hung up around this. They usually get that part, right? You can get where I’m coming from. But then the problem arises with what do you do with this crying baby now, right? Until they figure this out, what do you?

Now, I wanna tell you that The Sleep Sense Program does offer an option where you don’t have to go anywhere, and that tends to be sort of the sticking point for a lot of parents, is I don’t wanna leave her to cry. It just doesn’t feel good to me. And I get it. I absolutely get it.

So you can be there, and you can be the cheerleader and the support system and you can sit on the sidelines and kinda help her and cheer her on as she figures out some new strategies, but beyond that there’s not a ton else you can do, because it’s about skill development. It’s about learning something. And we can’t learn it for her. She’s gotta do that part on her own.

So, that’s really, in my opinion, what crying it out means, is allowing a child to cry for a few nights as they learn a new way to get to sleep. The crying has nothing to do with sleeping through the night. Okay, nothing. It’s a side effect, really. It’s an expression of displeasure or not being clear how to do something yet. And once they figure it out, guess what? The crying stops.

There’ll come a day where your baby will, I promise you, happily go to bed, and that is a beautiful day.

Thanks so much for watching. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post What Does “Cry-it-Out” Really Mean? appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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If you follow the Sleep Sense Program, or have watched a few of my other videos, you’ve probably heard me refer to “sleep props” a few dozen times by now. That’s because sleep props are the single biggest obstacle to your baby sleeping through the night.

“Not me,” you might be thinking. “My baby doesn’t sleep with a pacifier, stuffed animals, or toys of any kind.”

And while those things are all forms of sleep props, they’re not nearly the most common ones I see.

Check out today’s video and I’ll explain my definition of a sleep prop and why you may be using one without even knowing it.

What is a Sleep Prop? - YouTube

Rather read than watch? Click here.

– Hi, I’m Dana, welcome to this week’s video.

Tell me if any of these scenarios sound familiar to you. Each time your baby needs to sleep, you have to rock her or each time your baby needs to sleep, you have to feed her or each time your baby has to sleep, you have to give her a bottle until she falls asleep. Or or or. There are lots of “or”s to this question.

Now, if you’re nodding your head and thinking, yeah, that sounds like us then that is called a sleep prop. So I’m gonna dive into this a little bit deeper with you today to really get to the bottom of why is sleep prop so problematic in encouraging great sleep habits and what you can do to encourage your child to move away from the prop and start learning some skills that are independent around sleep and I’m telling you, people, this is the bottom line. This is the only reason your child’s not sleeping well.

So that’s the good news. This has a very, this is a very fixable problem you’ve got.

So I want you to think about going to sleep at night for yourself. What’s involved in getting yourself ready for bed? You most likely do a routine every night.

You climb into bed on the same side of the bed. You have your pillow that you are very clear that it’s not your pillow if it’s not. Maybe you need to have the window open just so or a glass of water by your bedside or your earplugs ready to go or socks on or whatever it is.

These are the strategies that you’ve collected along the way that help you get to sleep easier. They’re comforting. They’re habit. We don’t like change around our sleep environment at all and that’s why we don’t sleep well when we go away or sleep in a hotel or at friend’s or family’s houses because it’s a little bit different. It throws you off for a night or two.

So we’re very protective of our habits around sleep even the positions that you get in to. You might start off relaxing on your back until you feel ready for sleep to come and then you turn into what your favorite position is.

So think about that. Watch it tonight and you’ll be like, ah, yes, correct. Those are the things that I do.

So what happens to babies is that they develop these strategies but they’re dependent on something external.

So the journey into sleep for most babies looks like I get on the breast and I nurse until I fall asleep or I get on the bottle and I suck on the bottle until I fall asleep or I’m bounced on the exersaucer or I’m rocked around the house. I mean, these are all the ways the child now believes hey, this is how I do this thing. I get on the bottle, I get on the breast and the journey to sleep begins.

Does that make sense? So it’s not the, I’m not against feeding babies obviously but when you have to feed your baby to sleep in pretty much every sleep situation then that is a clear sign that your baby has a prop dependency on the breast, the bottle, rocking, being driven around, car seats. I mean, all kinds of things can become a prop.

So I want you to take a minute and just think about it. What is the fastest and easiest and your go-to way to get this little one to fall asleep and whatever your answer is, that’s your sleep prop.

So how do you get rid of sleep props? Well, that’s a whole other video, a whole other, in fact, I wrote a whole book on how you get rid of sleep props. So check out the Sleep Sense Program if you’re curious and that’s gonna give you a very clear walkthrough of how do we break this association on the prop and teach our babies to sleep well.

I will leave you though with some really good news. Sleep is a biological necessity. I mean, we all need sleep. Our bodies are gonna absolutely help us get the sleep we need. So when you show a baby the way, without these props, this is how you do it, they will quickly find strategies that become independent. So they get in a certain position or maybe they cuddle a baby or a teddy or maybe they play with their own hair.

I mean, it’s all kinds of things. They’ll figure it out. They’ll be like, oh, this is comforting to me. I’m gonna do these things while I’m waiting for sleep to come or starting my journey into sleep and once they have their own independent sleep skills, they become superstar sleepers and all these problems go away.

Thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well.

If your baby, infant or toddler is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped over 57,00 parents to get their kids sleeping 11-12 hours through the night AND taking long, restful naps during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I’m looking forward to helping you!

The post What is a “Sleep Prop?” appeared first on The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.

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