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Two women are talking:

“You have lost many pounds, dear ! Have you a new diet ?”

“Yes. Vegetables… potatoes, carrots, beets…”

“Do you boil or roast on them ?”

“No, I dig them”

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A fire broke out in the hotel. Everybody went out on the hall shouting: “Water ! Water ! Water ! Urgent !”

In this time a drunked Russian comes out of a room and says:

“And at room 30 a double vodka, please !”

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Are you alone ?

Are you bored ?

Doesn’t anyone call you ?

Borrow some money from someone !

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“Dicky, what does it mean to be a diplomat ?”

“It means you think a lot before you say nothing.”

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A cannibal is on an airplane. The stewardess comes to him and asks:

“What do you want, Sir ?”

“I only have a little desire. Can you give me the passenger list ?” the cannibal said.

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A guy with a green frog on his head comes to the docor.

“What’s the trouble ?” asks the doctor.

“I don’t know” said the frog. “Somethig came up on my ass…”

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SKYLINE REPORTS | comedy magazine by Doctor Parrot - 1y ago

A tourist arrives at a sheepfold where he sees a shepherd with his dog near him.

“Listen, Mr. Shepherd, is your dog bad ?” the tourist asked.

“Yes, it is.”

“Does it bite ?”

“Yes, it does.”

“But I see it doesn’t bark !” said curiously the tourist.

Then the dog told the tourist:

“If so, then: Bow-Wow !”

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WORLDLY LIFE

In a train there was a well-known writer. When the inspector came for the tickets, the writer could not find his ticket.

“O.K.”, said the inspector. “I shall come in an hour.” But when he came, the writer could not find his ticket again.

“All right”, said the inspctor, “I know you, because I’ve read your books. They are the most interesting books I have read in my life. I am sure you have the ticket you are looking for.”

“But I must find the ticket,” answered the writer. “I have forgotten where I am going.”

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“What is your greatest whis ?” a reporter asks a waiter at an interview.

“Customers to eat at home, and the tip to send it to us by post”, the waiter says.

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