Coffee and Wine - Necessary To Navigate Through Single Motherhood. I am a single mom to the most amazing (I am biased of course) two year old girl named Savanna. Life with her is anything but ordinary.
My daughter has started negotiating with me using the game, Rock Paper Scissors! I’m sure most people believe I should not negotiate with a 5 year old, but sometimes you just have to entertain this behavior!
The other morning, my daughter asked for a waffle for breakfast, which I made for her. She got distracted, the waffle got cold, and she no longer wanted it, after only eating a couple bites. She asked if she could throw it away, in which I responded, “no, you need to eat some more.” She quickly said, “lets do rock, paper, scissors and if you win, I will eat some more waffle; if I win, then I can throw the waffle away.” Most parents would not negotiate or play this game of negotiation, but I like that my daughter is not just taking no for an answer, so I play….and I win! She had to eat more waffle! Ha Ha
The interesting thing is she ate more of the waffle without any argument, because I was not telling her she had to. We played her game, and I won fair and square, which she appreciated and accepted.
Today is my daughter’s 5th birthday! I cannot believe how fast she is growing up and how fast time is flying.
Birthday’s, in my opinion, are so important. They are the one day that celebrates just you, and only you, so I think they should be special and celebrated BIG!
The day starts with my daughter waking up to her bedroom door decorated with signs, streamers and balloons. Wrapped birthday gifts are waiting for her to open. Depending on what day of the week, she might get a special breakfast and/or lunch and definitely a cool, out on the town, dinner! The closest Saturday to her birthday is when it is celebrated with family and friends. This year, it is Princess themed, at my house! Pinterest becomes my best friend for planning her themed birthday parties. I use it to help coordinate decorations, games and food, with the theme. I love planning and bringing it all together, as much as Savanna loves having the birthday party.
We get one day of the year for it to be all about us…Celebrate…Enjoy…and EAT CAKE!
Happy birthday my Peanut! I love you more than you’ll ever know…to the moon and back, forever and ever!
A couple years ago we started a tradition of a “staycation”. Here in Arizona, the resorts cost quite a bit less in the summer, luring the locals to stay and partake in the resort fun. In the past, we have gone with my girlfriend and her daughter, but this year they could not go. Instead of my daughter and I missing out on what I want to be an annual tradition, I booked our staycation.
I picked my daughter up from school on Friday, with our bags packed and ready to go and surprised her by telling her our weekend plans. She was besides herself with excitement and joy. Priceless.
We checked in to the hotel and headed to our room. My daughter was so complimentary, saying “mommy, this is such a nice room, so big…and this hotel is so beautiful!” She was right though. We unpacked our stuff, got settled in and headed to the main pool. We had not even put our stuff down on a lounge chair when a little girl came up to my daughter and asked her to play. My worries of my daughter being bored went right out the window. That evening consisted of dinner at the pool, swimming and playing until almost dark. We headed to the room where we freshened up and started dance party! We pulled up a couple benches close to the mirror so my daughter could see herself in the mirror and we danced for hours. So much fun! We finally fell into the luxurious bed and slept through the night.
The next morning we woke up and had a little breakfast, took our time getting ready and we headed to the pool. The same little girl we met the night before was already there so my daughter started playing with her and I hung out with her parents chit chatting about our night. Eventually the pool got more crowded and the resort brought out more things for kids to do like, arts and crafts; petting zoo; salsa challenge. Definitely a kid friendly hotel. Soon, we met other kids and their parents and continued to have a great time.
We had checked out and were planning on leaving…but we were having so much fun, I did check to see if there was availability to stay another night. Unfortunately, the hotel was sold out. It was late afternoon, our faces and bodies were sun kissed, so we headed home. The entire ride home, my daughter recapped our time during the staycation. Memories we will have for our lifetime. Hence why I love this annual tradition!
I am not sure how many of you parents will be able to relate to this but here is my frustration.
The grocery store I shop at, recently remodeled and revamped their entire store. Its beautiful now! With this revamp came these fun kids shopping carts. They have a police car, a firefighter car, and a pink cart covered with flowers, which my daughter is crazy about! Sounds great right? NO!!!!
The problem is they only have about 6 of these carts. That is maddening when you show up on a Saturday with your toddler in tow, who has talked about the pink cart incessantly the entire ride to the grocery store, and you get there, and the carts are all being used. Very difficult to help a toddler understand that her favorite cart to sit in is not available. I along with other parents have gone to extremes, wandering around the parking lot looking for this pink cart. Moms have waited for me at my car to unload the cart, so their toddler can sit in the cart. This shows I am not the only parent that has a toddler that loves and wants these carts.
So my message to this beautiful grocery store is either get more kids shopping carts or get rid of them all together! You are not doing any of us parents a favor! Thank you.
Savanna started a new school today. She was excited and nervous…i was proud and tearful! We of course picked out a new dress and shoes, beautiful pink & purple lunch box in hand and took pictures in front of her new school. She was so ready to get in there and get started! That made me so happy!
Once we entered the classroom, her demeanor changed. I saw her face go from excited to apprehensive; her confident body language slump down and hold on to my leg; her enthusiasm turned to fear. Savanna realized none of her old smells and sounds were in this classroom; none of her old friends were in this classroom; none of her familiar artwork was in this classroom. All of the comfort of her old school was replaced with a newness that she was not quite ready for.
This was my fear! That moment of letting go, saying goodbye with excitement and smiles was not going to happen. Instead it would be filled with tears, fear and pleading to not leave her side.
Then a cheerful voice exclaimed, “who wants to come with me to the playground?” The fear turned to thrill, she let go of my leg, with excitement in her voice, said “Goodbye mommy, I love you and I’ll see you later!” With a hug and kiss, just like that she was out the door starting her first day of Pre-K at her new school!
All of us parents stayed behind for orientation. I listened to Savanna’s new teacher tell us about herself, her family, her experience; she described how the typical day would go; how Pre-K uses the same playground as Kindergarten (at different times); and how Pre-K goes to lunch earlier than everyone else, she said “its more like brunch but without the mimosas!” We all laughed and one parent exclaimed, “mimosas, you have my attention!” Laughter ensued! I think at that moment all of us parents feeling trepidation of leaving our child at a new school, with a new teacher and new friends to make, finally felt at ease.
Today, really is an exciting day; we are beginning a new chapter in our lives! Savanna will make “new” friends, learn “new” things, create “new” memories and share all of these “new”s with me! I am so thankful and grateful for that!
My daughter amazes me everyday and every night, I pray I am doing right by her!
Although my Peanut is growing up way too fast, she is growing into an amazing young lady! She is sweet, smart but sassy for sure! I know this coming year will be wonderful for her and I cannot wait to see how much more she learns and grows!
“You’re off to great places, today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, so…get on your way!” Dr. Seuss
A friend recently reached out to me asking if she could set me up with a guy she works with. She told me a little about him and sent me some pictures of him. Although I was not attracted to his pictures, I told her to give him my number and we would see what happens.
“The Guy” text me that very evening (seeming very interested). We text on and off for a couple of days and finally made a plan to meet the following week.
The next week came and went without “the guy” actually solidifying a plan or even saying a word again about us meeting. He continued to text much about nothing. “The guy” never asked me about my daughter (even though he knew I was a single mom) and started texting me like we had known each other for a long time (telling me how he was so exhausted, he was going to bed early or complaining to me about an incident at work). This may seem like nothing to most people, but to me, when you have not even met in person, the texting is like the first date…ask questions, get to know the person, seem interested, or try to reel me in…Geesh!
A week went by without hearing from “the guy”, until he text “haven’t heard from you in awhile, but wondering if you were still interested in meeting?” REALLY??? We had a plan to meet, or at least a day, that I was aware of, but “the guy” never actually followed through. I text him back, basically saying that. “The guys” response was “I guess there was a miscommunication, but even if we can meet for an hour, we can figure something out.” Unfortunately, the next couple weeks did not work for me, which I explained to “the guy”.
A month later, “the guy” text me, asking if I was interested in meeting him? By this point, I had forgotten about “the guy”. I read the text and thought, at what point did the dating world decide phone calls are no longer necessary??? Getting to know someone used to be talking on the phone for awhile, hearing their voice, asking and answering questions and then if that went well, solidifying a date, time and place to meet in person.
I seemingly forgot to text him back.
Last weekend, I saw my friend and she asked me what happened and why I never went out with “the guy,” or lately even text him back. I expressed my thoughts on the situation, in which she defended him, but in the end, I said “I’m just not interested in “the guy”, and he really did not seem interested in me”.
Well…low and behold, that following Monday, I receive a novel of a text from “the guy” pleading his case, since my friend decided to fill him in on our conversation. I read this novel a few times and thought to myself, why is it necessary for a grown man to receive feedback from a friend as to why we never met up, and then try to plead his case to me and ask me for a do-over? But all via text and never a phone call to have a voice to voice conversation? Again, I am sure to most people this may seem like nothing, but I did ask some of my female friends, who agree with me that once I communicated to “the guy” about missing our first meet up, that a phone call was warranted or even an apology, but all I received was a flippant text. For “a guy” who is telling my friend he is very interested in me, I never got that feeling.
This week has been emotional for this Momma! Savanna tested in to a new gymnastics group, she moved up to a new dance class and she left the school she has been attending since she was 3 months old. That’s a lot to take in one week!
Leaving the school, though, was a lot harder than I anticipated.
I will never forget the first day I dropped Savanna off (December 17, 2013), I left my baby with basically strangers (I visited the school and interviewed the teachers that took care of the infants and the Director of the school) but basically strangers. I cried all the way to work, which at the time was almost an hour and a half commute, and I called numerous times throughout the day to check on her. It did get easier as she got older, and these women who took care of Savanna became my second family, my confidants, my counselors, and my friends. Savanna made friends, which in turn, I made friends with their parents. We attend each other’s birthday parties, we have play dates and we even have adult nights out together. It has been nice, fun and comfortable.
What the heck was I thinking upsetting the apple cart??!!
I can’t say for sure that this is the right thing, changing schools (upsetting the apple cart) but I know for sure, I am grateful and thankful I found this school, these women (teachers) who have been there for us and Savanna’s friends and their parents who have become a part of our lives! I know we will remain in each other’s lives, even if our kids grow out of their toddler friendships.
Savanna is growing up and change is inevitable. We have been talking about her going to a new school and turning 5 soon, which she is unphased by…and actually is so excited about. I tell her I don’t want her to grow up! The other night I said to her, “I want you to stay young and cute like a baby” her response was, “I will always stay cute mommy!” I busted out laughing! Truth is, it is really hard to see her growing up, becoming the person she is and although I am SO proud of her, I don’t think I cherished and took the time to be in the moments over the past 4 years. I just want to push pause…for just a moment…to just hold on a little longer and a little tighter.
Last night while my daughter and I were waiting for her gymnastics class to start, we were looking at pictures on my phone. Pictures of Savanna, of course, started appearing. Savanna stopped on one of the latest pictures of her from this weekend, and exclaimed “Mommy, I am so cute!”
This is definitely something I cannot argue with, but it made me laugh out loud how she had no modesty in her statement. I am so thankful that my daughter has confidence and has no problem expressing what is on her mind! I hope as she grows up, that confidence stays with her! Everyone should be confident in their own skin, but I know it is not always that easy. I could take a pointer or two from my daughter and her confidence, so that maybe next time I see a picture of myself, I will exclaim, “Damn, I look good! ” Ha Ha
Coming home late on the Southwest flight, which was 95% booked, I found a window seat in the back of the plane with the middle seat vacant. People kept walking by the middle seat, passing it up, and the lady sitting on the aisle and I kept exchanging wishful glances.
Flight attendant asks over the intercom “is there a single person who is willing to change seats so a family can sit together?” I thought about my daughter and I travelling and how hard that would be to not sit together, so I volunteered to move. The mother and daughter were so appreciative.
The flight attendant quickly found me an aisle seat, a few rows back. I organized my stuff, got my neck pillow ready and assumed the position for a relaxing flight.
Not sure what I was thinking….
Within just a few minutes of the captain turning off the seat belt sign, the boy (approximately 12 years old) sitting directly behind me, got up from his seat, knocked into my seat not just once, but three times. He then proceeded to drop his phone on my arm, knock into me again while retrieving his phone, all without one apology or “excuse me” being uttered. I let this go and continued reading my magazine, while the drinks were being taken and snacks were being handed out. Apparently the tray table was not large enough or sturdy enough for the boy behind me, because he continually was moving it up and down, trying to pull it out (maybe he thought it increased size when pulled out) and then finally banging on it, when he realized it did not increase size. I let this go for awhile, but my exhaustion had gotten the best of me, and by the 3rd time of him banging and pulling on the tray table, I abruptly turned around and asked him to kindly stop! At this point, he did apologize.
After quite awhile, the boy finally seemed to quiet down and relax, but for some reason thought he felt it was acceptable to take his shoes and socks off and stretch his foot out in the aisle almost touching my leg. Thankfully the flight attendants did tell him he could not stretch his foot in the aisle (this reminder had to be told to this boy though, each time the flight attendants were passing by him), so he did pull his foot back. This then led to him trying to stretch out with his knees pressed firmly through the seat into my lower back. Instead of asking him to politely sit up some, I took the mature route, and pounded my fists into the back of my seat into his knees, where after quite some time and harder pounding, the boy finally got the message and sat up some, so that his knees were no longer in my back.
This uncomfortable flight did not change my belief in doing good things for people, but it changed my outlook on where to sit on a Southwest flight. I usually look at who is sitting in the same row (do they look clean, are there little kids etc.), now I will be looking to see who is sitting directly behind me. Ha Ha!