Don’t Let Age Get In Your Way | Reading time: 4 mins
Most guys don’t really care about a woman’s age… if everything else about her is on top form. So don’t let age get in your way.
One of the biggest comments I hear from girls is, “All guys just want a younger girl”.
Your age is not an excuse girls. And it’s really not a barrier.
In my experience it’s not as black and white as that for guys.
For us guys, it’s about two things: looks and personality (yes, we care about personality too).
This is where a deep understanding of how men think is fundamental.
On a basic level, women are driven by the behavioural cues of a man. His dominance, his resourcefulness, his decisiveness, his fearlessness, how grounded and free he his.
Men however, are driven by visual cues. We’re hardwired this way.
I’ll be going deep into how men think in my full day workshop, but for now just understand that skin, hair and nails are some of the most important things we look for in the early stages of any relationship.
In other words, guys are attracted by radiant looks and youthful energy. This is because these are the things that psychologically symbolise fertility to men. We are created with an evolutionary need to reproduce.
You might say, “But Kam, I’ve got great skin, hair and nails, and even though I’m 35, everyone says I look 25.”
Or “I’m 35 and super bubbly and I have more energy than my 18 year old niece”.
That’s great. But what I’m going to say next is going to clear this up.
I’ve dated girls who were 21 years old and had the wisdom or a 35 year old, and I’ve dated girls who were 35 and had the wisdom of a 21 year old.
Initially men are attracted to the visual cues of a woman, but over time, all guys know that looks fade. So what we’re left with is the real person. The personality.
Taking care of your looks is important, but guys are also 100% aware that they are superficial.
I want you to focus not just on looks, but also on the characteristics that make you into the woman you are. Your personality.
One of the reasons it’s much easier for younger girls to “get guys” (keeping them is a whole different kettle of fish!) is simply because of their youthful looks, but the tables turn when women get older. Girls can’t rely on their looks to get the guy they want.
I’ve dated girls who were models. I’ve also dated girls who were not so physically attractive. And I can say right now that I didn’t want either.
I wanted a girl who I was attracted to physically, but also a girl who had a great personality too. Personally I had to have both.
For me and most guys, it’s a 50/50 split: 50% looks, 50% personality. Simple.
If you’re 35 plus, it’s definitely harder to find a guy. That’s just a fact. But it’s not impossible.
The way to do it is to focus on your personality. Have an awesome personality to show your date and you can hook in any guy you want.
Here’s 3 Ways to Practically Focus On Your Personality:
Be a high value woman
Focus on what you’re good at. Your strengths. Most older girls that I meet have a horrible personality (I hate to say it but it’s honestly no wonder they’re single). Be a high value woman by simply staying high value. Don’t degrade yourself. Invest in your brain and focus on growing. The higher value you are, the higher quality of man you will meet, attract and keep. Show him your strengths.
Give him what younger girls can’t
Younger girls can give guys their youthful looks, radiance and energy. Of course, I want you to offer him these too, but I also want you give him what a 23 year old can’t give him. And that’s experience, intelligence, wisdom. Everything that makes up your personality. Focus on your advantages and he won’t be able to stay away.
Clear out the baggage
With age comes experience. And with experience comes baggage. Honestly girls, you need to clear out the baggage before you start looking for a man. When you meet a new guy, they don’t want to hear about ANY of your past relationships or past issues. It’s the biggest turn off. Keep things fresh, light and fun. Remember, it’s you and him and that means a fresh start. Show him who you are through your personality.
Age is not everything. Its 50%.
The other 50% is still up for grabs and that’s your personality.
Our Fast Track To Mr. Right Workshop Was A Huge Success! | Reading time: 2 mins
Last year we had a full-day, super intense all female workshop. We went through some SERIOUS guy secrets and relationship myths, to really get to the bottom of why past relationships might have failed and how these girls can get on the right track to get an amazing guy and an amazing relationship, FAST!
6 Mistakes That Drive Guys Away | Reading time: 3 mins
I want to share with you 6 mistakes that drive guys away, for good.
Now, I’m not having a dig at girls here, but I will say this: Don’t ever try to manipulate guys and then wonder why he left you.
Understand: I want you to get real results. That’s all I care about. So what I’m about to say might be hard to hear.
A lot of girls I meet need to work on their behaviour. Yes girls, your behaviour sucks!
I have to tell girls off on a daily basis for bad behaviour. And trust me, it’s not something I enjoy doing.
Again, I’m trying to help you here so understand what I’m saying is coming from a kind place.
One of the biggest comments I get from girls is “How do I keep a guy”.
Keeping a guy is easy. Trust me, it really is (I’m going to share the secrets on how to keep any guy in my full day workshop next month).
Today I want to talk about some of the biggest mistakes girls make that drives guys away.
These mistakes are all based around behaviour.
Some of these mistakes are so subconscious most girls don’t even realise they do it. But remember what I said a moment ago: guys are not stupid.
Guys won’t bring up this stuff because guys are not girls. We don’t act, think, and behave like you. Unlike girls who will talk openly and share their feelings, guys will simply withdraw and you’ll never know why.
In the past I have pulled away from girls who show any signs of “2nd class” bad behaviour.
I want to share a checklist of behaviours with you that women use to self-sabotage themselves and their relationships, without even realising it.
Here’s 6 Mistakes That Drive Guys Away:
Behaviour 1: She pulls him away from his friends Don’t ever do this. Like girls, guys need their freedom and their friends. If his friends are a group of normal cool guys, encourage him to spend time with them. He will love you for it.
Behaviour 2: She doesn’t show love when he achieves success Praise him as if he was a king. In other words feed his ego. One thing I always say to girls is, “Don’t praise what he’s done, instead praise his traits.” If you attend one of my workshops, you might say to me, “That was a really good workshop” (BORING! I’ve heard it a million times before). Instead say, “Kam, I love how you can talk forever with such focus”. Now that’s a trait! Get it?
Behaviour 3: She wants to come before his family all the time Don’t ever criticise, condemn or complain about his family. Guys really don’t like it and will leave your ass in a heartbeat. His family might not be perfect, but you don’t need to focus on them. Your concern is you, him and the relationship. Focus on that, not on them.
Behaviour 4: She pulls him away from his female friendships I have a lot of female friends. As you can probably tell I love female company. I enjoy being around girls simply because I like to be around girls. Be confident that you’re number one. Stay classy, stay high value and know your worth. Don’t be a jealous girlfriend. It shows low value.
Behaviour 5: She expects you to cure her bad moods Drama drama drama. He don’t need it. Leave it at the door. Don’t be a drama queen. It’s not his responsibility to make you happy. It’s not his responsibility to cure your bad moods. It’s hard enough making himself happy. Take responsibility for your own actions and understand that your actions have consequences. If you’re in a bad mood, sort it out yourself.
Behaviour 6: She sacrifices her own plans Guys like a girl with goals, dreams and visions of her own. I want you to always focus on yourself first and him second. Your life is your life. Don’t ever blame him for not achieving your goals. Remember, people are selfish and are out for themselves. Focus on you. Always. And if that means being part of his plans, that’s even better.
p.s. I will be doing a 1-Day Life Changing “Fast Track To Mr Right” Workshop on how to meet, attract and keep your dream guy. You can find out more here
Here’s the key: I want you to take your fear and turn it into action!
I have a question for you: Are you someone who suffers from fear, approach anxiety, fear of rejection, fear that you’re good enough?
When you go out, do you experience feelings of self doubt, maybe even self hatred, shyness? What about other negative thoughts, such as nervousness? Trust me, I’ve been there.
It’s easy because the fears of your past experiences have a profound effect on your NOW. They have a profound effect on your self-expression. They have a profound effect on your ability to let go and have fun. They have a profound effect on the very person you’re talking to.
But most importantly, they have an effect on your ability to put into ACTION what you’re learning in my Programmes.
The question is: To what extent is your fear actually keeping you from getting BETTER RESULTS?
Here’s some of the biggest comments I get from the SBS Community:
“Kam, I’m afraid of getting rejected…”
“Kam, I’m afraid of approaching that attractive girl…”
“Kam, I’m afraid coming across desperate…”
“Kam, I’m afraid of running out of things to say…”
“Kam, I’m afraid of that other guy she’s here with…”
“Kam, I’m afraid I’m not good enough…”
“Kam, I’m afraid of the other people that are going to judge me…”
“Kam, I’m afraid I’m a loser, I’m inexperienced…”
Whatever it is, being fearless is going to help you CONQUER THAT FEAR.
So let me ask you this question: Why don’t you already have… the girl you want, the guy you want, the body you want, the job you want, the happiness you want, the life you want?
I would probably guess it has to do with ONE simple thing: FEAR.
Now, before we dig further into How To Be Fearless and how it’s going to help you (and why it’s 100% CRITICAL for you to understand this), let’s look at fear, and UNDERSTAND IT. First off…
What is FEAR? Fear is a survival mechanism. Fear is inevitable. Fear is an emotional ISOLATOR. Fear is important. FEAR IS NECESSARY.
Fear keeps you safe, but not only that, it does something else that is even more important: It wakes us up, it drives us, it motivates us. If it wasn’t for fear, we would accomplish NOTHING!
Now the question is: What do YOU do with fear? Are you going to run away? If you do, fear will come back. You can try to ignore it, suppress it, and drown it, but it will always be there.
You can try to overcompensate and out hustle the fear, but it will always come back. You can try to hide from the fear. You can tuck yourself away in the safety of your comfort zone. But then, one day, you will look up and you will ask yourself:
“What if I had overcome that fear?”
“What if I had talked to that guy or girl?”
“What would I have? Who would I know? Where would I be?”
“What have I missed out on?”
“What are the experiences of a life FULL OF ADVENTURE that I’m not getting to see?”
But most importantly, “WHO WOULD I BE?”
The scariest thing is that, you will NEVER know the answer. You won’t even know what you’ve missed. Is that really the life that you want? I know I don’t.
You can keep going down that path that you’ve been on for years already. That path of waiting, hoping, and guessing. You can keep tapping in the dark, blindly stumbling and trying to find a solution on your own.
You can build on top of the YEARS of research, testing, and trial and error that I have put in.
You can trust in the expertise and experience that my top students expect from my programmes.
You can join the other guys and girls JUST LIKE YOU who are already taking action and getting RESULTS!
And you can, in fact… BECOME FEARLESS.
I’m going to give you 3 Easy Ways to Be Fearless:
1) The first thing you need to do is read more…
But not just any books. Focus on reading autobiographies. Try this: For 1 hour before you go bed, read an autobiography from one of the greatest thinkers and minds of all times. Here’s some of the books I would recommend: Jeff Bezos’ The Everything Store, Sam Walton’s Made In America, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Total Recall, 50 Cent’s 50th Law, Kon Tiki. I could go on, but you get my point. There’s something that happens in the brain overnight when you read stories of true courage before you go to bed. I’ve been reading autobiographies before bed for years. You wake up and feel like you can take on the world. Try it tonight.
2) The next thing you need to do is have cold showers…
Now, I don’t mean every shower you have has to be cold. This is something you need to build up to over many months. When I first started doing this, it literally killed me! I remember shouting, “KAM, BE BRAVE! BE BRAVE!” in the shower. Practically then, start by having your normal shower, but before you get out, turn it to FULL COLD for just 10 seconds, then turn it back to warm or hot. Do this 3 times. Hit the cold water on the back of your neck. This is one of the most sensitive parts of your body. This will hurt you initially. But remember, you’re becoming FEARLESS. Overtime it will become easier, to the point where you’ll turn the shower on full cold and it’s normal. By doing this you will notice that your body will start to feel stronger. It will make you feel FEARLESS.
3) Another thing to do is watch WAR movies…
War movies are not something I was really ever into. But MAN, do they make you FEARLESS. Movies like Alexandra The Great, Fury, Saving Private Ryan, The Pianist. These are movies about courageous and brave people, fighting on the front line. When you see what these men and women had to face, you will LITERALLY become FEARLESS. Their courage starts to rub off on you. Things like approaching, rejection, what to say, these things will be forever in the past!
I could share another 20 things you could do to become FEARLESS, but try these first.
Reading time: 3 mins | 4 Steps To Attract Your Mr. Right – A Newbie Guide
Before I talk about How To Attract Your Mr. Right, let me just say this…
According to Albert Einstein, doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. So don’t do that okay.
The reason why most girls do the same thing over and over again is because they simply don’t know what else to do. One of the biggest comments I get is, “Kam, I’ve tried everything!” Trust me, you haven’t. I’m certain of that. Most girls I meet have tried the same few things over and over and over and over again, expecting different results.
I hope you get my point here. Don’t waste another minute doing the same shit that’s just not working for you.
I want to share a basic guide with you on how to attract your Mr. Right. It’s a fresh new perspective and I hope you give it a real stab. It’s not complicated at all. It’s simple, easy and very practical.
How to attract the right guy for you is a LOT easier than you think. So let’s quickly go over these 4 steps.
Here’s a 4 Step Newbie Guide To Attract Your Mr. Right:
Step 1: You don’t attract what you want
This is hard for a lot of girls to REALLY understand: You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are. This is the most fundamental success principle you must understand. Most girls think that they are just entitled to a cool, fun guy who’s on his path and purpose in life. Understand: Those guys aren’t just going to commit to any girl. So the first step to attract your Mr Right is to focus on yourself. Your health, wealth, relationships, and happiness. Have goals in all of these four areas. You will attract the most amazing guys when you do this.
Step 2: Work out your wants and needs The next thing is to know what you actually want and need from a relationship. Most girls think they know this, but 95% of girls I meet are misguided and undecided on this basic step. Make two columns: on one side write down your wants, and on the other side write down yours needs. Your wants are things you are willing to compromise on. But your needs are the one or two things you absolutely cannot live without. This will also change over time. What you needed in a relationship when you were 20 years old will be different to when you’re 25, 30, 35 etc
Step 3: Start filtering
Okay so now that you’re feeling good, got your goals in place, and know what you want and need in a relationship, the next thing is to start filtering. And filter fast. Most girls just meet one guy, invest all their time and energy into him, and three months later it’s over. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket so soon. Instead, you want to start by talking to lots of guys. The reason I say this is because what you want and need on paper, is not always what you want in reality. So the idea is to get a feel for what you like and don’t like. You can then filter out guys, and have cool guys cycling through your life until you meet a really cool guy who you want to take it to the next level with. This takes a lot of energy, but remember you also want to make it an enjoyable experience to, so have fun.
Step: 4 Walk away and change on a dime
One of my mentors said to me, “Kam, it doesn’t matter how shiny the car is, if it only has three wheels walk away.” How true those words are man. As you narrow your filter, you will naturally start to cut off other guys and invest in the one guy who you have the most chemistry and connection with. You will probably end up dating that guy for for six months and it might not go anywhere, but if you’ve had an enjoyable experience together then it’s not wasted time at all. It’s only wasted time if you knew you should have just walked away from the start. In that case, you’ve made a mistake. And you don’t want to be making too many mistakes.
Give these 4 steps a go and let me know how you get on.
P.s My foundational 1-Day Mentoring Workshop teaches you the techniques to find, attract and keep the man you want. You’ll learn the secrets to understanding men, minimising rejection, and becoming the high-value woman men want to fall in love with. If you want to jump-start your love life, this is a great place to begin. Click here to find out more!
We Raised £1000 At Last Week’s SBS Charity Party | Reading time: 2 mins
Thank you to everyone who attended and generously donated at the SBS Charity Party last week.
This was our first ever Charity Social, and it was a lot of FUN. So thank you.
Mental Health is a huge issue within the British Asian community, yet still a taboo.
As a Mentor, I meet a lot of people. Depression, anxiety, and suicide are just some of the big Mental Health conditions I see British Asians face. Just because it’s not talked about, doesn’t mean it’s not there.
My goal was to bring awareness to Mental Health in the British Asian community, and with your support and kindness, we did just that.
I’m really excited to announce that we raised a massive £430 at the SBS Charity Party!!!
Also, I’m going to personally double it, and round it up to £1000.
I’m very grateful for all of your donations to the Young Minds charity.
Seriously, thank you.
Aaliyah shares her story - YouTube
“There are times when I don’t leave my bed for days at a time. YoungMinds has throughout my depression been something that gets me out of bed, it’s a reason to continue.” – Aaliyah, Young Minds
If you didn’t get a chance to donate, or want to continue donating to the Young Minds charity, you can do so here: Click here to Donate.
Your donation will help Young Minds fight for a future where all young minds are supported through life, whatever the challenges.
So well done everyone and we can’t wait till the next SBS Charity Party.
And again, thank YOU.
Here’s just a couple of snaps from the SBS Party last week, more to come soon…
THANK YOU! A Personal Message From Me To You… | Reading time: 2 mins
I wanted to make this post to thank YOU.
Which is something I know I don’t say enough. But honestly, from the bottom of my heart… thank you.
Thank you so so f%*king much for all of your support. Thank you to all of you that have been following me for years throughout all the bullsh*t. Thank you to SBS members and my followers who supported me with this new venture, this new journey, thank you.
This journey has been so amazing and so successful, it’s honestly blown my f%*king mind. I am so happy, proud and humbled by the response SBS has gotten.
The truth is that it gives me hope. I didn’t know how SBS would do. I had no f%*king idea.
Here we are introducing this new British Asian dating self-help movement, a lot of these ideas are extremely controversial, they’re really out there. All I knew was that this was something I resonate with that was authentic to me.
SBS has killed it.
And seeing so many people resonate with it and reading all these amazing life changing reviews, honestly blows my mind.
We’re at this point now where we are all like, “enough’s enough, let’s snap out of this shit, let’s stop with this negativity, let’s stop being dragged along.”
It showed me that there’s an opening for something new and that we’re onto something here.
This is the direction we have to go down.
Who knows where SBS will go but it’s gonna be big.
So once again from the bottom of my f%*king heart, THANK YOU.
I couldn’t do it without you. It’s people like you who support me, who allow me to do what I do. I wouldn’t be able to produce all of this great stuff without you.