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You can’t really escape Valentines Day because wherever you turn there’s Hallmark ads, teddy bears, flowers and chocolates screaming romance. A lot of it is commercial capitalising on the human need to be in love and coupled off.

If you’re single, days like this can make you feel lonelier, and feel like you’re missing on some special feeling that one gets from a partner.

And if you’re in a relationship you may have an agreement that it’s a minor day but secretly wish your #bae would give you the attention, romance and that feeling of being cherished.

If you are so used to doing everything, you have trained your partner to feel that it’s not a big deal.

However, you don’t need that perfect romantic partner to experience love. There are a lot of people who are married, feel lonely, have difficult times and don’t have the romance. So having a partner is not the answer to feeling loved and special.

I can remember being single on one particular Valentine’s Day and buying myself flowers; it was the greatest feeling, and I genuinely felt happy. I was heading into my usual organic café and the store owner asked if I had found love. Clearly, the energy that I was putting ‘out there’ was a high vibration. This was a moment in my life where I truly felt unconditional love and worked toward healthy self-esteem.

But it wasn’t always like this. I made sure I did the work and aligned myself with self-love, which made me feel secure and whole.

Remember, you don’t need another person to access love that is inside you right now that God has given you. So the best thing is to learn to lean on the love within you in all circumstances of your life.

The waiting of meeting your partner in order to feel loved is where we get into trouble and fall into that lonely space.

Allow yourself to feel the love energy in your life already and be around friends that are living fully and enjoying life, instead of putting yourself in the corner waiting for that fairy-tale prince or princess to come to you.

We don’t get love from another person, we have it already and so we share our love with another. They are not our source; God is our source of true love. And it starts with feeling the self-love within.

Self-love is not putting yourself above another or having to prove you’re better than others, it means feeling love within yourself.

Are you showing up in your life? Do you think highly of yourself? Because if you don’t, you’ll inevitably have people show up in your life that will agree with you.

So many of us say I don’t really have any time for myself. But then we start to feel insecure, moody, and unhappy or feel like there’s something missing because we haven’t given ourselves the attention we need.

We then make Valentine’s Day the one day of the year that we try to cram all this love and expectations into one day and set ourselves up for disappointment.

How about making it a day of self-love and love for ALL people. The ability to be able to give and receive love is the healthiest thing you can do on this planet.

Every single one of us has a place within our heart that was broken from someone who was supposed to love us but didn’t.

We secretly still have this underlying addiction that the ‘other’ will save us and bring all the love that we desire and need to heal. But we can’t place the ‘other’ on a pedestal because he or she could leave or it could be you doing the leaving.

Getting ready for love means a lot more than toning up your body or buying sexy lingerie. It means getting ready within; clearing and healing any past heartbreaks, resentments, and fears, limiting beliefs and opening your heart again when you feel ready.

Act like someone who is in love, even though you may not be. Everywhere you go exude blissful energy. Let everyone you meet feel your love.

Your Self Love Junkie Valentine’s Day Prescription

1. Ask yourself
What romantic gestures or actions would I like on Valentines Day?

2. Take action
The thought you just had about the romantic gesture is something for you to do for you, whether you’re single or in a relationship, you are going to do that for yourself.

3. Affirm loving words
Speak words that will lift you up. “I am loving. I am deeply loveable.” “I deserve to be cherished.” This awakens the attractive energy that draws to you beautiful energy of love that you deserve.

4. Keep your heart open
Bring flowers into your life, as they’re healing, gentle for your energy and open your heart to love. Visualize your heart surrounded by pink light, or buy pink roses and inhale the fragrance. Alternatively, you may hold a rose quartz crystal close to your heart and/or prayer to feel fulfilled. The more that you open your heart, the more love, joy, and peace you’ll feel.

This deserves repeating many times, but it’s so important to nurture the relationship you have with yourself instead of spending all of your energy on trying to have another person make you feel satisfied. If you continue to put self-love on the back burner you may keep attracting people, situations and relationships that disappoint you.

You are loved as you are, and your identity isn’t in your relationship status or how you look, you’re identity is rooted in God’s love.

I hope you enjoy the greatest adventure of learning to love yourself. Be sweet to you, and have some fun.

Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful.


The post How to Feel More Love on Valentine’s Day appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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Once upon a time…there was you, a beautiful, kind, smart, and sassy princess looking for real love. Along the way, you got heartbroken and lost all hope.

After countless weddings, baby showers, and bridal parties you start throwing yourself a pity party asking when is this going to happen to me? When am I going to have my big day? And then the panic sets in, when am I going to meet my soulmate? Does my soulmate even exist?

And if you spend one more Friday night watching romantic comedies, eating another pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream, or have one more person ask you why you’re still single, you’re going to lose your sh*t.

It’s not that you’re desperate, or wanting someone to save you, no. You just want to share your life with someone, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The need for a partnership is a primal need; we humans are not designed to be alone for long periods of time.

What seems like a lifetime, many of us have been searching for our soulmate. Blame fairy tales, and the idea of Prince Charming who had us from when we were little girls.

Fast-forward, you discover the search for the beloved can be a painful and confusing journey. Most of us wait to be ‘chosen’ to feel loved, worthy, valuable, and desirable. And when we have yet to find ‘the one’ we think “there must be something wrong with me,” right?


It’s not so much about the search for the soulmate, it’s more about the search for yourself. It’s all about the woman you’re becoming in between the moments and the seasons of waiting and hoping that love is out there for you too.

And I can tell you; love is out there for you. I’ve had dysfunctional relationships; great relationships; I’ve made some mistakes, and I’ve learned from them all. So what you’re reading I’m not just making it up or taking it straight from a textbook. This is stuff I’ve practiced and learned.

One love myth that I would like to bust is, we’ve been told that there is this ONE person out of 7 billion people in this world that is your soulmate and going to fulfill all of your needs. And if you don’t find this one person, then you probably just missed out, or you’re not part of the blessed ones, or it’s because you probably screwed up along the way while you were too busy partying, or focusing on your career, or wasting your time in the wrong relationships.


The universe is abundant and there are many people with whom you can find happiness and fulfillment. As you learn and grow, you attract according to your current vibe and consciousness.

So no more lack mentality. Ok? Good.


Let’s start with these 4 key tips on how to find real love.

1. Make love to life

The first step for sure is to find a way to be happy without a partner. If you’re not happy now as a single person, being in a relationship or getting married is definitely not going to make you happy. Your own happiness is what’s going to make your relationship happy. If you are feeling that you need a partner, then your energy of needing someone in your life will be projected by you onto those you meet, and for many people, that kind of energy is not attractive and pushes people away. Create a fun and love-filled life where someone would love to join you. With your loving, positive and happy vibe, it is inconceivable to me that you will not be in a meaningful relationship.

2. Be a loving partner to everybody

So once you have found a way to be happy without a partner, how are you interacting with other people in your life? If you want a beautiful and loving relationship, then you must offer a beautiful and loving version of yourself to those around you. In other words, are you presenting yourself to others in a loving, kind, and fun way? Be a loving partner to everyone in ways that are appropriate to you of course, and allow them to experience what it would feel like to be in a caring and loving relationship with you. What you are doing here is sending out a signal, one where it is so attractive and magnetic to which all people gravitate.

3. Be amongst the crowd

You obviously have to be amongst people, you can’t be sitting in your apartment doing Netflix binges all of the time and never getting out. It’s important to engage in life because people are not going to come knocking on your door. You need to get out and about. And if you are doing that already, tell your friends, family, and anyone you meet that you are available and looking for a relationship. Be open to the idea of people setting you up. There is nothing wrong with that. Get involved in your favorite activities, hobbies, sign up to dating apps, or join a church meeting. Be creative and don’t wonder ‘how’ you are going to meet this person; we cannot fathom how God and the universe bring two people into alignment! Your job is to listen to your intuition.

4. Be real. Be you

If you want a real relationship with someone, you have to reveal your true self. We usually put our best foot forward at the start of dating in hopes of being liked because we fear that if we show all parts of ourselves then we will not be loved. I have learned that people really want to know who you are completely, not just when you’re being at your best. They want to know what is the real you like? If you feel that you have to be perfect in order to have someone love you, you will continue to put up a mask and hide your true self. If you feel on some level that you’re not good enough or beautiful enough or feel too wounded or whatever it is, you will want to hide and subconsciously put up a wall making it hard to have a heart-to-heart connection with someone. And so you are going to attract similar partners to your past or someone who is not genuine. There is no such thing as being perfect in order to have someone love you. The right person will love all of you, both the parts you are proud of and the parts you are not. So be you.

If you are waiting to have all of your stuff figured out before you put yourself out there, it’s really just a way to stay safe, and not be judged, and therefore not put yourself out there. Remember, you will never be perfect because you are a human being.

And I think you are beautiful just the way you are.


The post How to Find Real Love appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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We now see more and more people who say “You just have to love yourself more”, but what exactly does that look like?

I know I struggled with it in the past and didn’t really know what self-love truly meant. We love the idea and know it’s true but most of us don’t know what to do.

Well before we get into on how to love yourself, let’s make sure we have a good understanding of what self-love truly means so that you don’t experience any guilt.

People confuse self-love with selfishness, narcissism, and arrogance as they do not know the true meaning of self-love. Therefore, they do not know how to love themselves (or feel they need to) because in many ways we’ve been taught how to not love ourselves.

By not loving ourselves creates a lot of internal pain, our life’s choices do not reflect our heart desires and so we settle for less than, and in turn, this interferes with the capacity of our happiness, the types of relationships we experience, and the total satisfaction of our lives.

Many people unconsciously seek love of Self through finding someone they can love. People think, “If I can just find someone to love, he or she will also love me and then I’ll be loveable. Then I can truly love me.”

The deeper underlying meaning to all of this is: many people dislike themselves because they feel there possibly couldn’t be someone who loves everything about them. Even if another has expressed their love, they still don’t believe them.

They don’t believe them because they don’t love themselves. Therefore, they think that this person who loves them is lying, or trying to get something.

This is why it’s important to find completeness within and not rely on anyone ‘out there’ to complete you. However, someone can share your completeness and add onto to your happiness which is the most amazing feeling, but to ask of another to complete you, is asking for disappointment, and it’s a huge responsibility to place on someone.

Furthermore, I would have to agree that this self-love thing is not always an easy task; tо be true to оursеlvеs is а lifetime journey оf self-discovery аnd self-acceptance. Іt’s building оn our unique gifts аnd interests while accepting without embarrassment our weaker aspects.

How Do You Love Yourself? 

Self-love involves а daily cultivation оf а trulу satisfying, fulfilling, аnd rewarding relationship wіth уоursеlf. Тhе result оf self-love іs nоt а perfect life, unending happiness, оr thе creation оf thе perfect human persona thаt еvеrуоnе accepts, admires, аnd validates.

Іnstеаd, self-love іs thе ability tо summon а compassionate feeling іntо уоursеlf nо matter whаt уоu experience іn life.

Loving уоursеlf includes tending tо daily fundamental nееds suсh аs physical movement, eating healthy, sleeping well, аnd self-care. Іt іs self-caring tо gеt а massage, light sоmе candles, оr tаkе а bubble bath. Ноwеvеr, self-love іs sоmеthіng muсh grander.

Whеn оur actions аrе motivated bу fear, bу whаt wе “shоuld” bе dоіng, оr оur intent іs tо control, оur wounded sеlf іs іn charge. Тhіs type оf behavior іs nоt sо muсh self-love аs іt іs survival.

Self-love іs thе ability tо stор, tаkе а deep breath, аnd move bеуоnd а habitual reaction. Breathing brings us bасk іntо center whеrе wе саn reconnect wіth whо wе аrе bеуоnd оur wounds аnd automatic responses.

Self-love іs thе ability tо pay attention tо intuition, follow thе voice оf оur heart, аnd honestly gіvе expression tо оur true feelings.

Self-love іs а minute-by-minute awareness оf оur inner wisdom combined wіth self-permission tо respond ассоrdіnglу. Іt’s аbоut sауіng “nо” tо thоsе actions, behaviors, аnd routines thаt feel unsatisfying оn thе inside, аnd sауіng “уеs” tо whаt іs gratifying аnd fulfilling.

Іn essence, self-love includes intentionally focusing energy оn actions аnd behaviors thаt warm thе heart, рlеаsе thе senses, аnd allow life tо flow thrоugh уоur physical sеlf.

Self-love brings уоu bасk іntо уоur body, аnd bасk іntо feeling аnd breathing аnd sensing. Іt’s offering уоursеlf compassion fоr thе experience уоu аrе hаvіng whіlе аlsо bеіng aware оf thе actions thаt wоuld best offer nurture аnd support уоur mind, body, emotions, аnd spirit.

Some Things You Can Do To Love Yourself (Without The Guilt)

Living a life of self-love means you support yourself physically, emotionally & spiritually. How? By paying attention to what your needs are & then taking action. You can begin by taking а moment from your chaotic life tо consciously breathe, feel yоur wау thrоugh thеsе questions and follow through with action:

  • Am I treating myself with respect?
  • Do I speak to myself with compassion?
  • Am I paying attention to what I need & want?
  • Do I settle in relationships?
  • Am I giving myself permission to feel all of my feelings?
  • What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?

The journey оf self-love іs еvеr unfolding аnd еvеr expanding – and seductively grows by the actions we take. Аs уоu listen tо уоur soul, уоu offer уоursеlf respect. Аs уоu tаkе action tо express уоur inner sеlf… that’s self-love іn motion.

Аnd furthеr dоwn thе road, аs уоu evolve іntо thе person thаt dоеs nоt nееd tо bе understood bу everyone…that іs thе embodiment оf self-love.

No one is going to give you permission to take care of you. Taking care of yourself is being responsible for your life.

It takes courage to gift yourself self-care in a society who labels this ‘selfish,” but ask yourself, “Do I have time to get sick?” and “Do I need to get sick for it to be ok to have some acceptable rest?” I think we can be more intelligent than that.

Write yourself a self-care prescription and remember the flight attendants rule:

You have to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

And the big beautiful bonus of all this work is, once I learned to love myself. Respect myself. Honor myself. Trust myself. Stand up for myself. Be kind to myself. And when I knew my self-worth and birthright, that’s when I was able to truly like myself, get happier with myself, and that’s when I attracted my beautiful partner where I can create a deeper love with him than I ever have before.

What is one self-love action you are going to take and turn into a habit? I would love to know! Just comment below.


P.S. What’s The First Big Step Toward Loving Yourself?

The post How To Love Yourself (Without The Guilt) appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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You find yourself in an eerily similar situation and feel like you’re in the movie, Groundhog Day. And you just had the realization that nothing is changing and you keep repeating the past. You are feeling exhausted by the same old issues yet believe that there’s no other way.

Or, you’re walking around feeling sorry for yourself wondering why life is doing this to you. I can tell you, life is not doing anything to you, just responding to what you are throwing at it.

Whenever you encounter a recurring pattern it usually stems from hurt feelings in your past. And unless you face and heal old emotional pain, you will not change this pattern.

However, if you have reached a point of ‘enough already’ and you are ready and willing to do what it takes to be happier and change your life for the better, then my friend, you have just opened the door of opportunity to change the ending of your life story. One where it is more beautiful, and one where you’ll never regret.

In order to change anything in our life, we must become aware of our patterns and embrace our story. We all carry stories, beliefs, wounds, and habits, which influence all our relationships, the outcome of what we attract, and how we choose to live our life in the present moment.

And when we catch ourselves repeating a pattern over and over again, more than likely, it’s often caused by unresolved emotions from our childhood needing to heal particular wounds.

When you don’t wake up as a result of your pain, you will continue to live blindly and unconsciously keep repeating similar events, circumstances, habits, relationships or people into your life and sometimes in a more intense form.

It’s not because you are crazy or neurotic, it’s because you need to heal your heart, cleanse your mind, forgive, and move on.

I see so many people who hang onto their pain and past story way past the expiration date, which is interfering with their health, peace, and happiness today. There is no value in hanging on to hurt, it is doing more harm than good. We are all here to learn and grow.

Which means, there are times you need to go back to your past to connect the dots to your wounded parts and gain understanding so that you can finally heal and stop repeating the past.

It doesn’t mean that you’re letting the person(s) off the hook, it simply means that you’ve let toxic feelings go in exchange for peace.

No matter what past you come from, it’s not your destiny, nor does it define who you are today. It’s never too late for you to be the woman you want to be and to create the life you daydream about.

The sooner you surrender all negative self-judgment, regrets, heartaches, and disappointments, the sooner you can start creating a new story and rebuild your self-confidence.

Does healing take work? Yes, it does. Just be mindful not to get impatient and feel overwhelmed by the thought of how long this might take and how difficult it will be because that is also a belief.

If you’re consistent, it won’t take as long or be as hard as you imagine. Growth is incremental with a few leaps in between along the way. You’ll see it as it happens.

3 Steps to Stop Repeating The Past


Visualize yourself putting a DVD onto a blank screen. This DVD is of your life thus far. Become the observer by looking through nonjudgmental eyes, and rewind to the parts where you’re still hanging onto past files in your current life.

Where are you holding onto heartache? Who are you blaming? What do you need to heal? Is it a relationship? A person? A situation? An event? Yourself? Begin the healing process and free yourself from all the agony.


What patterns are you repeating that you think could be broken if you released the past and increased your self-worth? And if you could experience a good dose of self-worth & self-esteem, what might be different in your life?


Learn to speak words that hold power and in alignment to what you desire. There is well-documented science stating that the way we think and how we speak changes our DNA. Our brain creates memories in our mind and the experiences we go through are stored, pushing forward the things we do without thinking. When we pay attention to the things we say and how we think, you will feel differently, respond differently and live differently.

You can start today. Say it out loud, with belief and intent. “I release the past now. I take only the love and lessons. I choose to live a powerful life. I forgive those who have hurt me in the past and let it go. I am free to not be attached to past emotions and am free to create a brand new life. I am strong. I am moving forward. The right people are coming into my life and we have healthy relationships together. I am growing every day and becoming the person I was created to be. I am free from holding myself back and I am becoming my truest self.”

Remember to take one day at a time & that God/Universe is on your side helping you every step of the way. Focus on becoming accountable, loving, and loyal to self, this leads to refusing to settle for less and having your own back. It’s one of those 1,000 step journeys. Take a step every single day and IT WILL HEAL.


P.S If you feel guided to seek professional support, I highly recommend seeing a good therapist, counselor, healer or life coach to help you heal and move forward sooner rather than later. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. Everyone in life needs support. Of course, I would love to support you, you can check out my personal 1:1 sessions and see how we can work together.

The post How To Stop Repeating The Past (And Move On) appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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There are some basic needs every woman wants and one of them is to FEEL SEXIER. Every woman wants to feel sexy, strong, and confident, and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, I believe every woman should feel all those things. And I believe every woman is sexy in her unique way.

It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want to BE and FEEL sexy. According to Christiane Northrup, M.D., feeling sexy is actually good for your health. Every time you feel sexy you increase circulation and energy throughout your system, which increases nitrate oxide through your body – this basically means you have life force energy throughout your body that improves your health on every level. Ooh, la la.

But How Do I Feel Sexy When I Look In The Mirror And Don’t Believe I Look Sexy?

You have a lot on your plate – your day is filled with taking care of others, kids, your career, cleaning the apartment, cooking, and basically a woman’s job is never done. I totally get it. My schedule is full in its own way, and my days of when I was extremely ill, I felt far from being sexy.

It’s time to start taking care of YOU and leave the old out-dated thoughts and beliefs behind. Remember, the sexier you feel the healthier you become! Let’s have some fun! I’m going to share my 3 little secrets on how you can tap into the energy of sexy.

How to Feel Sexier in 3 Easy Ways SEXY TIP #1 Breathe into Character

This exercise that I’m going to teach you, inspired by Laura Bushnell’s book Life Magic, is so much fun to practice for getting in touch with your sexual side. Who is someone you admire, not what society thinks, but whom you think is beautiful and sexy? So for example, let’s say you think Audrey Hepburn is sexy. The next time you go for a walk, whether at the mall, the grocery store, at a party, or wherever, visualize Audrey Hepburn on the left side of your body. The left side of the body is the feminine, receptive side. As you’re thinking about Audrey Hepburn pressed up against the left side of your body, visualize and breathe in her qualities. This isn’t about wanting to be her, the idea is to breathe in the energy of the sexiness you think she has.

As you do this, feel that you too naturally exude this sexiness in your own way. The only thing that gets in your way is your mind. Do this exercise a few minutes, two times per day, and for at least a month and see what happens. I always get a kick doing this exercise; you’ll be amazed by the people complimenting you, as you’ll begin to start FEELING sexier. It really is like magic.

SEXY TIP #2 Romance Yourself

Create a romantic atmosphere in your bedroom. Light some candles, turn down the lights, and wear some lingerie that makes you feel amazing – you deserve to spoil yourself. Go to a mirror and if you don’t have a mirror in your bedroom that’s okay, you can still look at yourself. Begin by softly looking at yourself by candlelight admiring the female body and all it does for you. Begin to admire the parts (or part) of your body that you like (don’t focus on the body parts you dislike) and just pick one body part. Grab your favorite lotion with a delicious scent and massage this area. As you do this say to yourself, “You are so sexy.”

SEXY TIP #3 Explore What Turns You On

Take a look at your wardrobe. What clothes do you wear and do you need to add in more colors? If you want to tap into that sexual energy, bring in more passionate colors into your life; pinks, reds, orange, leopard prints, anything to do with passion. The same goes for your underwear, lipsticks, nail polish, and how about sleeping in satin sheets? Anything that feels SENSUAL and ALIVE to you will make you feel sexier and turn you on!

WARNING: As you go through these 3 tips, your left brain, the intellect part of you will make you feel like you’re not good enough. So the voice will show up in the form of, “Omg this is so stupid, you are so not sexy, you need to lose those 10pounds first and tone up that ass, girl!” Or, “This exercise is pathetic and it’s not going to work for you, maybe for others but not for you.”

So just acknowledge the messages that your left brain intellect comes up with and just don’t give it too much attention. Basically, this voice is your inner bitch. Say hey to your inner bitch and choose to no longer listen to her. She has basically run most of your life, but now it’s time to dump her and become the empowered and sexy woman that you are!

You are worthy to look and feel your best! Tell me what YOU are going to do to feel sexier. Post your thoughts in the comments below. I can’t wait to hear!


The post How to Feel Sexier in 3 Easy Ways appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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Affirmations help us believe that we have the potential to create what we desire in our life and that anything is possible. Affirmations are positive, personal statements about something you want to come true and are used verbally to affirm our dreams and desires as a done deal.

The idea of using affirmations is to help us feel relieved, reassured, inspired, and empowered that our hopes and desires will become a reality.

I never really believed affirmations because I never really understood them. After reading and learning how the brain works, I decided to put them into action whole-heartedly, and I’m glad I did. It may sound lame, but they have (and still do) really work for me (and my clients). I say them out loud and unashamed.

Our biggest problem in life is that we are our worst enemy – no one can say anything horrible to you because you have said it ten times worse yourself. So you have to learn to give yourself pep talks and look in the mirror to tell yourself how fricken amazing you are. Seems silly but it works.

When you say your affirmations you may feel resistance to them, just push through the hard feelings and keep going! Your brain is trying to rewire new neural pathways, and there must first be some discomfort in the process to change.

Grab this list and take what resonates (or create your own) and have them on sticky notes and place them everywhere – your fridge, bathroom, closet door, car, back of toilet door, on your computer etc.

  1. I forgive everyone that has ever hurt me
  2. I forgive myself
  3. I am a strong, confident, beautiful woman
  4. I am good enough for a healthy relationship
  5. I am enough
  6. I deserve love
  7. I am worthy of my dreams
  8. I am not defined by my past, I have learned many lessons & equipped for better experiences
  9. I believe I am deserving of a fulfilling career and one that pays me well
  10. Every day in every way I am one step closer to being the best version of me possible
  11. I release my sadness
  12. I release all resentments
  13. I release all anger
  14. I let go of the past
  15. I have a strong immune system & boundless energy
  16. I love, respect, and approve of myself just the way I am
  17. I am safe, it’s only change
  18. I deserve the best things in life and I accept them now
  19. I trust God and the Universe’s divine plan for me
  20. I choose to believe only the best about myself
  21. Money comes to me easily, consistently, and in unexpected ways
  22. My true self is perfect. I am worthy of love because love is who I am. I am in perfect harmony with the energy of love.

I hope these affirmations will help to change the way you view & think about yourself & your life. Say them in the morning, throughout the day and in the evening, and eventually, it will become easier to think the new, positive thoughts rather than the old negative ones & won’t feel like work.

When you do your part, then the brain can do its thing, and then your reality will improve, and things just seem magically better.

Love yourself enough to know you are worth 20mins of your time per day to do the work to replace a belief that does not serve you well.

Happy Affirming!


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Due to our crazy busy lives, it’s so easy to get caught up in stress, spiral down into a bad mood and end up arguing with our partner over petty things.

Our minds and bodies are connected, and I know whenever I start feeling fatigued and moody, most of the time I have not taken care of myself properly. I’m either drinking too much coffee, not having solid sleep, not working out, or not spending enough time connecting with my Spirit & beautifying my thoughts.

I feel disconnected with myself, less confident, and start faulting my partner (ha!). If you can relate it’s time to pull the reins, reevaluate your wellness goals, and make small (but powerful) changes.

Boosting your mood doesn’t require you to book a weekend getaway to Paris, although we’d all love to, it’s not always within the budget. And truth be told, material things don’t always necessarily give us what we’re looking for. Sometimes we are looking for more meaningful ways to feel good that go beyond Chanel No. 5 perfume.

Here are my top 17 inexpensive ways to boost your mood that won’t cost a thing (or break the budget), and get you back to being that sweet and happy partner, again.

1. Get enough sleep

Each month and season may be different for you, so just go with the flow. Rest and rejuvenation is the ultimate self-care treat. Challenge yourself: for 3 nights in a row go to bed before 10 pm – by day 4 you will feel so much better.

2. Exercise in nature (and without your phone)

You don’t need to go to a gym to move your body. Take a walk or a hike in nature to just BE, unplug from the world and connect to Google within.

3. Burn your favorite smelly candle

Take 5 mins to just stare at the light, settle into your body, and focus on your breaths. You have just meditated.

4. Make a playlist of songs that inspire you

Put aside 30mins one afternoon, pour yourself a glass of wine & select songs that you know will uplift you every time you listen to it. Give it a title that reads: Listen to on days that I need to boost my mood.

5. Make yourself your favorite beverage and be present

It may not seem like such a big deal, but pouring your tea (or coffee) in your prettiest mug can make such a difference. I absolutely adore Miranda Kerr’s Friendship Mug. Become aware of every sip you take, and say an affirmation.

6. Look through travel magazines & start making a collage

Cut out magazines or create a Pinterest board of all the places you would love to visit, starting with the most achievable one & try to make things happen. Picture yourself having fun, exploring a different city, and visualize how that would feel. Like William Arthur Ward said, “If you can imagine it, you can create it. If you can dream it, you can become it.”

7. Simply your life

Be a rebel. Empty your calendar. Cross off every non-urgent to-do off your list. Don’t check email for one day. Get off social media. We’ll miss you, but we’ll be still here with big smiles & warm hugs when you get back. Do you need to upgrade your car? Do you need to move to another city? Do you need that house? Question everything. Why are we needing all these things?

8. Wake up early and do mindset training

How many of us wake up in the morning thinking, I have a beautiful life filled with happiness and love and I naturally attract great things in my life. I am truly blessed. {insert smirk.} Set your timer for 3mins to rewire your brain to think that you’re magnificent and worthy of great love and a beautiful life.

9. Indulge in some raw chocolate

Get rid of the processed crap & indulge in some raw chocolate – the kind that releases endorphins into your system and makes you feel happy! Here’s a quick, simple & yummy recipe for you: 1 cup almond meal; 1⁄4 cup dried cherries; 1⁄4 cup raw cacao powder; 1 tablespoon coconut oil (melted); 3 tablespoons raw honey or maple syrup, coconut flakes (optional, to roll balls in). Combine all ingredients in a bowl and blend. Voila!

10. Reach out to someone and tell them how much they mean to you

“If you had one hour to live and could make just one phone call, who would you call? What would you say? Why are you waiting?”

11. Write a love letter

Be inspired by #moreloveletters and leave pockets of love in your community or city. Spreading love always makes you feel better.

12. It’s okay to say NO

“Do you have to? Do you need to? Do you really want to go to that party? Maybe you just want to Netflix & chill. And maybe you should.

13. Have some guilt-free fun time

Set your timer for 20mins to do whatever you wish to do but no work is allowed, and that includes reading any self-help book to try & improve yourself. Take a breather from all that and instead, read a romance novel or sit in a chair & do absolutely nothing!

14. Write a letter from your future-self

Visualize your ideal future-self, this woman is happy and has the love & life of her dreams. If she could give your current self some guidance, what would she tell you? Keep the guidance in your Filofax.

15. Laugh!

If you are in no mood to laugh, just head to YouTube & watch clips of your favorite comedian. Please watch my fav, Sebastian Maniscalco.

16. Reach out to someone to see if they need a listening ear

Almost every time I get out of my own way and be of service to someone, I leave feeling so much better. Go and visit someone just because, and you might be surprised that they needed emotional support.

17. Make the choice to boost your mood

Life will never be perfect, there will always be something, but we do have the choice to turn a bad mood around. “Today is not over yet.” And as Alice Morse Earle said “Every day may not be good…but there’s something good in every day.” This is a great reminder to be intentional at finding and creating a sparkle in your day.

Give yourself permission to boost your mood because your happiness has a powerful healing effect to yourself and everyone around you.

Use my suggestions, or create your own list. Remember, you have the power to turn this day around.

You are wonderful. And you’ve got this.


The post 17 Inexpensive Ways To Boost Your Mood (And Be A Better Partner) appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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At 25, I had just moved to New York with a broken heart, no direction, and low self-worth. I had felt my world was turned upside down. I had no idea what was going to happen next because all I could focus on was the pain in my heart.

I was angry, sad and disappointed in life for the way things had happened.

Fifteen years later, if I could go back to my younger self, sit down with her over champagne and share some words of wisdom, here’s what I’d tell her:

1. No one is responsible for the experience of your life.

Firstly, no one is responsible for any kind of abuse. Having said that, when you’ve endured from a bad relationship, in a job you hate, or situation, whatever has happened or is happening is your responsibility. This is not to blame you or make you feel like crap. This is to help you realize that you do have a choice. Don’t convince yourself that you are doing something against your will. Be honest with yourself. You have alternatives available to you. So choose the outcome you most prefer. That is what it means to be in your power.

2. Stop obsessing over your body, and how you look.

If you’re relying entirely on how you look to feel better about yourself, your self-esteem is going to be a rollercoaster for the rest of your life. Your body is more than looking good; it’s a vehicle for your spirit & life purpose. Enjoy in moderation. The right guy doesn’t care about your weight. What he finds attractive is how much you care and respect yourself, the beauty of your mind, how confident you are in your skin, and how much fun you are.

3. Have the time of your life.

Life is going by. Allow yourself to experience everything that brings your heart joy. Stop fantasizing about the past and stop stressing over the future. Be present in this moment. Take yourself on dates; go to the movies on your own; eat the macaroons on a Monday; swim naked; buy yourself flowers; dance and drink wine under the stars in Tuscany with your girlfriends. Before you know it, you’ll look back on your memories & wish you didn’t stress over the things you did because they no longer matter.

4. Turn your breakups into breakthroughs.

On the road to finding the right one, you will have your heart broken and/or you’ll be the heartbreaker. Even though it’s painful, this breakup will happen to make you stronger and give you the opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes the relationships you get involved in are just not right for you. As much as it hurts, you have to let them go. Do the work to heal from relationship wounds so you can open your heart again to experience more love than ever before.

5. Learn to love yourself.

The love that you are truly yearning for is really the love for thy divine self. Find out who you are; what you like; what you don’t like; how you want to live your life; what your values are; what you won’t settle for. Discover what you love about yourself. Make a vow to yourself that you will always stay true to who you are – not who a man wants you to be.

6. Not all relationships last.

There is a misconception that all relationships last a lifetime. Not all of them. Some are there for seasons & for good reasons. Every person that walks into your life is there to teach you something. We attract relationships based on where we’re at in our life. So, understand what they came to teach you. It will serve your next relationship.

7. Be open to how you think your ‘soulmate’ should look like.

There is not ‘one’ soulmate out there for you. With the right foundational ingredients, you can CREATE a soulmate relationship. You could miss out on a special person because he didn’t match your ‘list.’ Be a bit more open to how he looks and get clear on how you want him to make you FEEL. Don’t shoot the bullet too soon, 99% of women do not recognize their ‘soulmate’ on the first date. Keep dating the man that you might not have the big fireworks at first, but who has all the qualities your heart desires. Sometimes love does not knock us off our feet at first sight, sometimes love takes time to reveal itself and grows over time. Give this person an opportunity.

8. When you’re single and dating, stop wasting time on the guy who doesn’t value you.

If a guy is into you he won’t play games and will only want to be with you. Just because you have the heart flutter with him, it doesn’t mean he’s the one for you. Don’t be that woman who passes up many great men because you didn’t have that instant spark with them. Don’t waste your time on someone who clearly doesn’t value you. And if you believe that you can stay friends and prove to him how amazing you are and when he’s ready for a commitment then he’ll choose you, think again. He will not be choosing you for the right reasons, he will choose you by default. Be prepared to get hurt. He’s not the only fish in the sea.

9. Travel as much as you can and live in different cities, but also have a plan.

Don’t get so caught up in ‘finding the one’ that you miss out on opportunities. Travelling can help you get stronger, wiser and discover parts of yourself you never knew. Don’t feel pressured to settle down at 25, however, don’t be so carefree that you have no direction in life. Cultivate your career & make a plan. You need to have an idea of where you would like to be in the next 5 years. At the same time, don’t be too attached to the plan. Sometimes plans don’t work out the way you expected.

10. No one else knows what is best for you but you.

There is nothing wrong with listening to your friends and family for advice, but ultimately you are the one that knows what is best for you. They are giving you advice based on their experiences, fears, and perceptions about life. If you want to seek advice, sometimes it’s best to seek professional support from someone who is not emotionally attached to you. You have free will to choose what you want to do in your life, and ultimately what you choose will be based on the lessons your soul needs to learn.

11. Know your worth.

No person has the power to complete you. You are already complete. Don’t settle. But don’t look for perfection either. Go for that career that will highlight your natural skills & abilities. Go for that life you daydream about. You have what it takes. You are brave and courageous. Don’t shrink to fit. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Know that your worth is not determined by how you look or what possessions you have but rather by peaceful relationships and your emotional well-being.

12. It’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole, so have an optimistic outlook on life to help you deal with crappy days.

You’ll always experience challenges in life, and they don’t disappear. Learn to reframe your challenges to empower you and you’ll be fine forever. True freedom comes from how you respond to life and not what life does to you. Create a happiness toolbox where you can turn to on the days you are not feeling so great about yourself. Having tips and tool along your journey will equip you to deal with the storms, and then let them move on. 

13. Earn your own money and learn how to make it work for you.

Don’t rely on ANYONE to save you financially. Be independent and educate yourself about money and how to handle it. Sometimes plans don’t work out, so have a secret stash because you never know when you’re going to need the extra moula. Becoming financially independent empowers you to choose the life you desire. Clear your money beliefs and blocks and work smarter not harder. Save.

14. Relationships are beautiful, but also difficult and filled with ups and downs.

Sometimes what you’re looking for is right there infront of you. Be realistic about what you want in a relationship. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. You have to invest in your relationship. You can’t expect your relationship to be the way you want it to be if you only withdraw and don’t invest in the love bank. You and your partner both need to ‘work on your own stuff’ and commit to the relationship to ensure success. Don’t give up on the relationship if there is still some love and respect in the basket.

15. Happily ever after.

There is no one out there who completes you. You are already complete. Let go of the prince in shining armour fantasy, he’s not coming to save you. Work on being happy, fulfilled, content, and free – and you won’t need saving.

16. Your intuition, aka your gut instincts, is always spot on.

Your gut instinct is like your personal built-in Divine radar – never lets you down. Stop second guessing yourself. If your heart is calling out to you to make a life change, follow it with faith. Learn how to listen to your inner voice and not ignore “red flags” when they arrive.

17. Learn to make your mind your best friend, it will serve you tremendously.

There is plenty of research to show that your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions can either have a positive or a negative effect on your body. So your beliefs become your body which then affects the body’s physical functioning. For example; what happens when you believe that there are no good men (or women) out there to marry? You will not find a good man (or woman) to marry. What your mind believes, perceives and experiences is sent to your entire body, and as a result, your physical wellness is a response to your thoughts and emotions, and your behavior supports your current belief system.

18. Happiness is not found where you’re currently looking.

No one is responsible for your happiness but you. However, don’t rely on your list of expectations about life or love to make you happy because if they don’t come true, you will become miserable. Cultivate happiness on the simple things in life…like God, coffee & pretty pink anything! You have everything you need inside of you. You will not always be happy and that’s okay, it’s part of being human (and a hormonal woman). However, you do have the choice what to tolerate and what to let go of.

19. You’re good enough and beautiful, just the way you are.

Don’t allow the media, your ex, or anyone else to manipulate you to think otherwise. Beauty comes in many forms – and there is no unique form more beautiful than you. Just exactly as you are, this moment, without changing a thing – you are beautiful. Don’t believe it? Your Spirit knows the truth.

20. You are lovable, and it’s safe for you to be loved and to love.

You are not destined to be alone. You are not broken or beyond repair. You come from love and therefore you are loveable. You deserve love notes every day. You deserve romantic dinners. You deserve weekly flowers. You deserve to know you are loved. You deserve to be treated sweetly. You deserve to know you’re enough. You deserve to be the queen of your life. You deserve all this and more. You deserve these things to be given to you and most importantly by YOU.

After all, life was meant to be fun. It’s hard to believe sometimes, but it’s all about perception. Even though life is filled with lessons, pain, and beauty, the key is to embrace the “low’s” with the “highs.” And as long as we’re living, there is still more learning – doing the best we can to infuse gratitude into our everyday life. Therein will we find both peace and joy regardless of what is going on in our life.

What would you share with your 25-year-old self? Comment below, I would love to know!


The post 20 Things I Would Tell My 25-Year-Old Self About Love & Life appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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You’re in a relationship and your partner is everything you want, but there’s just one teeny tiny problem, you are SO jealous. To the point that you know you’re self-sabotaging your relationship but you just don’t know what to do.

The second you and your partner are out amongst the crowd and around other women, you get into a paranoid psycho mode and think that he’s staring at other girls.

You are so terrified that your boyfriend/husband will be interested in another woman but you have zero reason to believe that he would do anything because so far he has shown that he’s faithful, trustworthy, and loves you.

You’ve tried to bite your tongue, give yourself pep talks, and ignore your feelings, but nothing seems to help and you end up exploding and freaking out on him over your paranoia.

Know that when you start feeling jealous, you are just really scared – jealousy comes from fear. And this fear is like an alarm bell trying to grab your attention because there is something inside of you that needs healing.

So you need to look more on the inside and discover what is lying dormant. Usually, there are unresolved issues from past relationships that haven’t been healed, sub-conscious programming, your perceptions, feelings of not being good enough, a fear of abandonment, and a loss of love, all of which create a recipe of low self-esteem & craziness.

Sometimes when I would feel not good enough in my relationship, I would know that it was a sign that I had not spent enough time with my Spirit, and that my past experiences were still haunting me and that I still needed healing.

You need to ask yourself WHY you are feeling jealous.

If my partner was a big flirt, wanted to cheat, and didn’t respect me or other women, then why would I want to be with someone who behaves in this matter? No thanks. Moving on.

If your partner is giving you a good reason to be jealous and not respecting you, why are you with them?

You deserve respect, but you must embody that! {Re-read that line again.}

Some women who don’t truly love themselves, get involved with men who hurt them because they believe that is all they deserve.

If you know deep within your heart that your jealousy stems from your insecurities, then you need to spend more time with your Spirit & one way to do this is to journal your thoughts around the WHY.

If someone is going to cheat or whatever, they are going to do it regardless and there is nothing you can do or say about it. Better to find out now than later and move on with someone who treats you better.

So beautiful, stop wasting your energy on being jealous. It’s a turn off for men and they are not going to want to hang around you often.

The ‘right guy’ is attracted to a woman who is confident in her skin and confident in her relationship.

It’s no fun if you’re constantly on his back about other women. It’s a major downer and messes with his boner. {Yes, I just said that.}

Relationships truly are our best assignments and they do need nurturing. Your partner is there to shine the light on the parts of you that need healing and if you’ve always been insecure about the way you look, you’ll most likely attract a partner who will push your insecurities.

Instead of being mad at yourself, it’s time to be proactive. Be grateful that this emotion has come up because it’s an opportunity for you to learn, heal, grow and become even closer to your Self and strengthen the bond with your partner.

Use this opportunity to dig deep and figure out the reasons why he loves YOU

Look at all those reasons and know that he has chosen you for those reasons. If he didn’t dig you he wouldn’t be with you. Get busy with YOUR life & you’ll have no energy on what he’s doing or not doing in the relationship.

Continue with the pep talks 

Eventually, those pep talks will seep into your subconscious mind and you will start believing that you are his queen. Whenever you have those crazy thoughts of your partner cheating or feelings of not being good enough when he looks at other women, tell yourself, “He may have glanced her way. She’s pretty and I also appreciate beauty, but I know who I am, I love who I am, and I know he genuinely loves me.”

Remind yourself that you are in a state of fear and you need to return to love

You can say something like this to yourself: “Oh, there goes my ego again feeding me false messages. I am love. I am Spirit. And therefore I am beautiful and good enough exactly as I am. God loves me. I love me. And my partner loves me.” You may have to say this 100x per day.

And ladies, even “good” men will look. He could have Halle Berry by his side and he will still look at other women. It doesn’t mean they are going to do something to hurt you or don’t love you. They’re just men, it’s in their DNA to look.

What I’ve realized is that the more I focus on being my best self, making myself happy, connecting with my light, and creating an amazing life, the more my partner wants to be by my side and gaze into my eyes.

If you want an amazing partner, you have to be that amazing person.

Know that he does not determine your self-worth.

Make self-love a part of your lifestyle to banish fear from your relationship and add self-awareness into the way you react toward your partner.

Keep focusing on building your self-worth, independent of making him desire you more, and he’ll keep choosing you!

I’d love to know what you thought of this post, and if you have any tips of your own, please let me know in the comments below.

And lastly, if you’d like some support and guidance with your self-confidence and to experience happier relationships, here are some ways we can work together:

 Book an instant guidance session

Download my free eBook to help you become the assured, attractive, and irresistible woman, and create your happy life!


Picture via WildFox

The post How to Stop Feeling Crazy Jealous In Your Relationship appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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Most of the women that I know, I have met and who I coach, don’t feel beautiful in their skin or believe they’re good enough in their relationship.

We place high expectations on ourselves to look a certain way and dare I say, mainly for men. Sure, we love to take care of ourselves, but ultimately, we secretly care more about what men think about how we look and some of us use men’s approval to try to fill a huge hole within.

Why do we do this? Because we have a fear of loss – we are afraid that our man will leave us or cheat with another woman who might be better. And so we tend to compare ourselves to other women, which only makes us feel insecure and jealous.

Thankfully, I’ve reached a point in my life that I no longer put my self-worth into the hands of a man or worry about what they think about my appearance. I eat healthy, and I workout and look after myself because it feels good and I need the energy to do the things I desire in this world. The after effects of looking after yourself such as glowing skin and a tighter tush are just an added bonus but do not run my life.

It’s freedom to live this way – but it did take work.

If you’ve been neglecting yourself lately and feeling a little insecure, use the tips below to start feeling good enough in your relationship because when you feel amazing about yourself, your partner will agree with you!


When we are in a relationship (even when single) we can easily forget about ourselves and before we know it we’re disconnected from our spirit. Usually, when we are disconnected we start to feel insecure and crappy about ourselves. This is a sign that you need to get back to YOU & continue to do things that bring you joy. Ways in which you can reconnect with yourself; Journaling is an amazing way to understand yourself and feel peace. You can write out your frustrations or random thoughts and prayers to shift your energy. Spend more time outside, take a long bath full of lavender salts, read a good book with a glass of rosé, treat yourself to a fancy coffee, buy yourself flowers, do yoga, bake healthy cookies, hang out with a friend that makes you feel happy, take as much ME time as you can so you can feel happier about yourself, which in turn will make him happy and ultimately create more stability in your relationship.


It’s easy to get caught up with the negativity and focus on everything that’s wrong about you. This is when you need to switch the channel in your mind over to the good things about yourself, and it may take some effort to retrain yourself to focus on the qualities you do have instead of what you don’t have. What are some things that you do like about yourself? What have you accomplished so far? Dig deep and figure out the reasons why he loves YOU and know that he has chosen you for those reasons. Praise the things you like about yourself: every time you pick yourself apart, stop and start admiring the things you love and fill your mind with pretty thoughts. Create a mantra and say it daily!


Stop comparing yourself to the Instagram models or anyone else if it makes you feel depressed and taxing on your self-esteem. Don’t be afraid to unfollow the ‘Perfect Picture’ gals and focus more on people who inspire you & make you want to better yourself in natural and healthy positive ways. You could also try changing your perspective when you see a ‘beautiful’ woman, but don’t compare yourself to them & think how better they look, instead, appreciate their beauty while also appreciating yours! Know that most women lack self-esteem and feel they aren’t good enough. And although it’s easy to compare ourselves to others, it often helps to know that others compare themselves to you, too. And yes, even that pretty girl you’ve got your eye on is also secretly struggling.


Surround yourself with girlfriends who see you better than you see yourself. If you’re finding it difficult in this moment to give love to yourself, reach out to a good friend and express how you feel. Revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing. Hiding your hurts or insecurities only intensifies them. Know that no one is perfect. You never know, your friend may be going through the same thing and you have unknowingly helped them. Getting love from those who care about you when you don’t feel like caring about yourself will help cheer you up and remember why you are worthy and needed in this world


We women are so hard on ourselves. Perfection is the killer of self-worth and trying to be perfect will get you nowhere. There is no such thing as perfectionism – it’s an illusion keeping you from feeling secure within yourself. Instead of focusing on perfection, accept who you are, let go of past mistakes (we all make them!), stop picking on yourself and do and be your best every day. You are worthy of love. You are loveable. You are desirable. You are beautiful exactly as you are, right now, today, without altering a thing…you are purely beautiful in your own way.


The post 5 Ways to Believe You’re Good Enough in Your Relationship appeared first on Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie.

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