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What do people do when they don’t understand it or it’s foreign to them? Well, if you’re a rational adult, you either do nothing or learn about it. If you’re like way too many people in this world, you make fun of it and assume that it’s garbage just because you don’t understand it. We see people making fun of online dating all the time and frankly it’s comically annoying.

If you’re here, you probably have a family member or friend that is giving you a hard time for trying to find love online. They probably say things like, “online dating is only for weirdos,” or “you’re going to get abducted dating online.” While we can find a way to appreciate that they care more about our lives than their own, it’s still annoying and way off base.

In this guide, we’re going to talk about how you can go about dealing with people making fun of online dating. We’ll give you some tips and tricks of what to say and how to get them to lighten up. While it doesn’t really matter what other people think, it can be tough when they’re your friends and family and are otherwise nice people who just seem to have a hatred for online dating.

 

Ask Them If They’ve Had a Bad Experience Dating Online | The Trap

 

We don’t like being sneaky, but…okay, we like clever tricks when they are ethical and work in our favor. Here’s a great one that you can use to shut someone down when they are making fun of you for using online dating. It doesn’t even really matter what their reasoning for hating it is; this should still work.

When they start giving you their spiel, ask them if the reason they don’t like online dating is because they had a bad experience with it. 9 times out of 10 they are going to say no. Then you can follow up and say, “So, you actually have no personal experience with online dating?” To this, you’ll probably leave them speechless.

They might come back with a line about how they personally didn’t have a bad experience, but they have heard a lot of stories about people who have had bad experiences in online dating. Ask them for specifics. Keep pressing. Don’t be aggressive or raise your voice or anything. What you are doing is slowly leading them down the path of realizing they have no idea what they’re talking about.

If they do happen to have a horror story from online dating, then you can quickly realize you’re probably not going to get them onboard. But, for the other masses that are just making fun of online dating because it’s foreign to them, it should make them realize their unfounded statements.

 

Online Dating Has Come a Long Way

 

Another common way people will make fun of online dating is by calling it weird. They’ll say it’s just strange and that it’s only for weird people. They are, of course, entitled to their own opinion, but they’re clearly wrong here. In online dating’s early days, the stigma that it was for people who were strange and cast out from society got started.

Somehow, throughout the two decades plus that it’s been around, this stigma hasn’t been changed. But online dating has changed. Now, online dating is a place for busy people who have a lot of great things going on in their lives to get together and meet each other. It’s for people that have too much awesome stuff going on to spend time trolling bars looking for love. It’s for people who like to get results.

Online dating produces results for millions of “normal” people every single year. Now, we all know this, but how do you tell your friend or family member who is giving you a hard time this in a short and concise way?

It’s simple. Tell them that online dating has changed and it’s predominantly for busy and successful people who don’t have time to troll bars to find love. Tell them it’s for people that are tired of meeting low-quality singles without a lot going for them. Tell them that the times have changed and technology is changing the way that we meet and fall in love. Tell them if they’re too old school to get with the times that is their problem.

Feel free to memorize that word for word if you want in case you need it at the next family reunion or get together with friends.

 

Ask Them to Stop

 

If none of the above things work to stop someone from making fun of you or giving you a hard time for dating online, then you can take the easy approach. Just ask them to stop. Tell them that it’s something you’re excited about and you’d appreciate it if they could get behind you and support you. If they’re worried about your safety, tell them that you’re going to be safe and that you’ve read our awesome online dating safety guide. You can even forward it to them if you want them to see how seriously you’re taking your safety.

Here’s the thing. This does not need to be a long conversation. You do not have to defend why you are choosing to use online dating to find love. You’re a grown adult, and you are entitled to make your own life decisions which include the mediums that you use to find love. If they can’t understand that and can’t leave you alone about something important to you, then they are a crappy friend or a crappy family member.

They should care about your happiness. Just because they don’t understand online dating does not mean they can chastise you for using it and make fun of you. Sure, they can give you their opinion and let you know they are concerned about your safety. But, at some point, they have to let you do what you think is going to make you the happiest.

 

The Wrap Up

 

It stinks that some people aren’t capable of handling things that are confusing or foreign to them like adults. But, it is the world we live in, and we are forced to adapt to it. Here’s the last thing we want you to take away. You do not have to endure verbal lashings from people about your dating life. If they’re important to you, you can give them the time to voice their concerns in an adult manner and allow you to address them.

But, once they do that, they need to understand that this is something you’re doing. It’s not like you started a drug cartel or are thinking about climbing Mt. Everest (which we think would be awesome). You’re simply using your computer and technology to try and find someone special to bring you happiness. You’re at more of a security risk using Facebook or another social media platform than you are in a highly monitored online dating environment.

Do you and do what makes you happy.

The post Dealing With People Making Fun of Online Dating appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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One of the leading Christian dating sites in the industry is Christian Mingle. You may have seen commercials on TV, somewhere on the web, or maybe you had some friends at church mention it to you. While the site is extremely user-friendly, we did want to give you some tips if you’re thinking about using the site. These tips will ensure that you get the most out of your membership and hopefully find that Christian man or woman that you are looking for.

 

Don’t Join if You’re Not Religious 

 

You might think that this tip goes without saying, but we actually get asked quite a bit if it’s worth joining Christian Mingle if you’re not religious. This is probably because Christian Mingle has a reputation for having some higher quality members and people that are a little less flaky and are actually serious about finding love.

While all of this is true, the singles on Christian Mingle are serious about finding Christian love. That means you do need to be religious and you do need to be a Christian if you have any hopes of having success on the site. We understand why it might be tempting to jump on and see what’s there, but you will be disappointed if you aren’t a Christian.

 

It’s Okay If You’re Not a Super Christian

 

While you do need to be a Christian looking for love if you want to have any real success on Christian Mingle, you don’t have to be someone who goes to church seven days a week. While most of the people on Christian Mingle are Christians, many of them are at vastly different places in their walk with God.

You have some singles who have been in the church their entire life and their faith is what drives every single decision in there life. You also have Christians who are brand new to the faith and are really just dipping their toes into the water of what Christianity is all about. And then, you have a ton of people that fall somewhere in the middle.

You see, there’s a stigma that some people get about a religious dating site. They think it’s all the people that carry a bible around with them 24/7 and speak only in scripture while praying 84 times a day. While some of these people exist on Christian Mingle (and we applaud them for their religious dedication), the vast majority of people on the site don’t fall into that category. The vast majority of the singles on Christian Mingle are “normal” people who deal with the same struggles of everyday life that you do.

 

Use the Christian Mingle Lookbook Feature

 

If you’ve read our Christian Mingle review, you know that the dating site has quite a few features to help you find that special someone. One of the features that a lot of people often overlook is the Lookbook feature. Located on the top right of the page when you log-in or on the menu on mobile, you’ll find a link to the Lookbook feature.

What is Christian Mingle’s Lookbook? Well, it’s their version of swipe-style dating. Basically, they show you a picture of someone on the site that matches what you’re looking for and some basic information about the person. As opposed to some other sites that do this (cough…Tinder…cough), they actually show you some information about the person and not just a picture.

If you like the person that they show you, you click the heart icon. If you aren’t a fan or they just aren’t a good fit for you, you click the X and they show you a new single. The idea is that if you click you like someone and that person also clicks that they like you or are interested, then it will let you know that you have matched.

This is a really easy way to get to know people on the site. Anyone you match with through the Christian Mingle Lookbook feature, you will already know that there is mutual shared interest so it should make sending that first message a breeze. Instead of sending a message hoping the person is interested, you will already know without a doubt that they are.

Make sure that you don’t put all your eggs in the Lookbook basket, though. What we mean is this. Not every person on the site uses the feature. In fact, a lot miss it which is the reason that we’ve included it in this tips and advice article. Because of that, you might click that you like someone and you may never get the match back that they like you as well. But, this might not be because they aren’t interested. It might just be because they aren’t using the Lookbook feature.

So, if you like someone, send them a message. Take a chance. The worst that can happen is they say no thanks or don’t respond.

 

No Search Function, Use the Discovery Settings

 

One of the things that might confuse you when you get on Christian Mingle is there is no traditional search function. But, that does not mean that you don’t have control over the matches you see and that it doesn’t mean you can’t actually search. It’s just in a different spot and works slightly differently. Let’s take a look at it.

Your main home screen is actually your search/browse function on Christian Mingle. The way that you change what you see is by changing your global discovery settings. You will see several links to change this all over the place on the homepage. If you want to “search” for something a little big different than what you’re currently looking for, just temporarily adjust your discovery settings and then go to your member homepage where you will see a whole new group of singles. When you get done, you can change it back to what you are most looking for.

 

Take Advantage of the Free Trial

 

If you’re on the fence about giving Christian Mingle a try, we highly recommend that you take advantage of their free trial. As one of the more robust free trials in the industry, you can create your profile, upload photos, browse through all of your matches, and even respond to messages for free from paid members. Yes, you can actually communicate with members and potentially get dates without ever paying for a membership.

While we do recommend actually joining the site so you can sit in the driver’s seat, the Christian Mingle free trial is a phenomenal way to see if the site is a good fit for you. If you go on and don’t see anyone you like or aren’t interested in, then you don’t have to join. The worst that happens then is that someone awesome who is a paid member sends you a message!

If you’d like to get started now, check out our Christian Mingle Free Trial page where we will show you how to get signed up for free right now.

The post Christian Mingle Dating Advice appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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First dates…one part exciting and four parts terrifying. If you’re here, there’s a good chance that you might be leaning even more towards the terrifying part. First dates make a lot of people nervous, and we understand why. You’re putting yourself and your feelings out there and trusting that someone you barely know isn’t going to step all over them. The fear of this happening can make a lot of people nervous on a first date.

In this guide, we want to tackle this head-on. We are going to show you exactly how not to be nervous on a first date. We’ll show you the things you need to do and the mindsets you need to adopt to ensure that you walk into that first date with your head high and confidence exuding from you. Once you finish this guide, gone are the days of sweaty palms, sweat-drenched shirts, and shaky hands.

 

Understand Some Nervousness is Okay

 

Before we go any further, we want to make sure that something here is clear. It is okay and completely natural to be nervous before and during a first date. You’re stepping out of your comfort zone, and really taking a chance. But, what we are specifically talking about here is nervousness that is debilitating. Nervousness on a first date that causes you to not be yourself, stumble over your words, and just really not put your best foot forward.

That’s the first date nervousness we’re going to be tackling today. Just make sure you remember, everyone is going to be a little bit nervous, and that is totally okay. Even your friend that always seems to crush it on first dates gets a little nervous (even if they say they don’t).

Now that we have that point clear, let’s get into the actual tips for how not to be nervous on a first date.

 

Stop Getting Too Emotionally Involved Too Early

 

It’s fun to daydream about what a first date is going to be like. Often, the first date is with someone you’ve never met before, or you barely know. When you barely know someone, it’s easy for your mind to fill in the holes with what you want them to be. Basically, your mind does a great job of building up this person you don’t even know as the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Now, we’re not saying that isn’t going to be the case. Your upcoming first date could be with the most amazing man or woman you’ve ever met, and we think that’s awesome! But, letting that optimism creep into unreal expectations can cause you to be much more nervous on a first date than you need to be.

Don’t let yourself fall in love with a person you’ve never even met or spent much time with. The more special and the more important that you make them in your mind, the more nervous you are going to be. It’s okay to be excited, but keep it from running out of control. This will take some proactivity from you, but it will be well worth it.

 

Be Prepared for Your First Date

 

First dates can be nerve-wracking because of all of the uncertainty. Something super important that you can do to lessen the nervousness on a first date is by cutting down on as many of the unknown variable as possible. In other words, the more prepared you are for your date and what might happen, the less you need to worry about.

If you know what you’re wearing, where you’re going, what happens if the place is terrible, what to do if the date is awful, and you have a plan for everything you can, then you’re going to be less nervous. You don’t need to spend hours mapping out the date and every little thing that could happen, but you should have a general idea of how things are going to go and what you’re going to do if they don’t go according to plan (for the worse or for the better).

To help you with this, we’ve put together a ton of resources over in our first date guides section. While everything over there is awesome and we highly recommend you read it, there are two things we really want you to look at. First is our first date mistakes guide. This guide outlines all of the major first date mistakes that you need to plan to avoid.

Second is our first date checklist. This checklist and guide will make sure that you don’t forget anything at all while getting prepared for your first date. That way, you can relax and let the nerves calm before you head out.

Prior preparation prevents poor performance. #preachit

 

Understand the Real Purpose of a First Date

 

One of the biggest reasons people get nervous on first dates is that they don’t really understand the true purpose of a first date. They think that it is a performance. They think the entire point of a first date is to put on the best show you can and work as hard as possible to impress the person you’re with. When you do this, the measure of success for the date becomes how much fun the other person has.

While you should always put your best foot forward, this is all terribly, terribly wrong. You see, the purpose of a first date is not to impress the other person. The measure of success on a first date is not how much fun they had or even scoring a second date. The real purpose of a first date is to figure out if you have any compatibility or spark with the person you are going out with. Sure, you should always try and make it an enjoyable time, but you’re really just looking to see if the two of you are compatible and if it’s worth seeing each other again.

When you do this, a few things happen. First, the chance for failure is 100% eliminated. The measure of a successful first date is now learning whether there is compatibility or not. If there is compatibility and you figured that out, the date was a success! If there was zero compatibility and you figured that out, the date was a success! Yes, you heard that correctly. A date where you aren’t going to see the person again is actually a success.

Notice now that there is zero chance for failure. This should lead to the second cause of treating first dates properly which is that the nervousness will fade. If you aren’t acting like a performer on stage and you’re just trying to look for compatibility, you’re going to be less nervous. When you know that you can’t fail no matter how well the date goes by other people’s incorrect standards, the nervousness goes away.

Take the time to really understand why you are going on a date. Realize that a “bad date” where you are not compatible is not a bad date at all. You successfully crossed another person off the list of potential suitors, and that’s just one step closer to finding the right person.

 

Power Poses and Science

 

We’re going to throw something that might seem a little weird at you now, but it’s really awesome. Amy Cuddy, a renowned psychologist, gave a Ted Talk on the use of power poses to change the chemistry in our brains to handle nervous situations and uncertainty much better. Basically, she said that there were certain poses (power poses) that you could stand in for a minute or two before heading into a nervous situation and it would release certain chemicals in your brain to help you handle nervous situations better! These poses are “superhero” type poses and are easy to do pretty much anywhere.

What does this have to do with a first date? Well, we recommend checking out her Ted Talk we linked above and using these poses in your dating life. Before you step out of the car or walk into the bar to meet your first date, strike a pose and get your brain chemistry working on your side! It might seem kind of crazy, but she breaks down all the science of it in her Ted Talk linked above.

 

Practice Makes Perfect

 

The last tip we have for how not to be nervous on a first date is to get out there and go on more first dates. Literally everything in life gets easier and is less nerve-wracking the more that you do it. This is true for first dates. If you haven’t been on a first date in years, it’s probably going to make you super nervous. But, if you go on that one and it doesn’t work out, how difficult is the next one going to be on your nerves? Probably a bit easier because you know a little more what to expect and you’ve got some experience under your belt.

Get out there and go on some first dates. With what you’ve learned here, you literally have a 0% chance of failure thanks to recalibrating your measure of success. First dates are always going to give you those butterflies in your stomach, but that’s just your body getting excited about the potential that could come out of your next first date.

The post How Not to Be Nervous on a First Date appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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In theory, meeting someone at church or your local synagogue is a fantastic sounding idea. They’re going to probably have the same ideals as you, maybe the same mindset, and certainly the same goals when it comes to life, love, children, and happiness. But, for some reason, it never works out how we want it to. We know that there are lots of good looking single men and women at church, but we just can’t figure out how to meet them.

In this guide, that is what we’re going to tackle. We’re going to show you the simple ways that you can increase your chances of finding love at church or the synagogue. We’ll also explore a few different avenues if religious love is something that is important to you.

 

Join the Singles Ministry

 

Most churches are going to have some form of a singles ministry. The bigger the church, usually the bigger the singles ministry is and the more people you’ll have that you can meet. What is a church singles ministry? It’s usually a group that meets a few times or once a month to do something fun together. The group is going to be made up of all single men and women who are consciously looking for love.

It is NOT a speed dating service. It is NOT an awkward setting where they force you to interact with people that you may or may not be interested in. Every single church singles ministry that we’ve seen works to create a pressure-free environment where you can just hang out and have fun with other religious singles.

Now, before you roll your eyes and say that the singles ministry “isn’t for you,” let’s take a look at a few reasons why it’s a great move if you’re looking to meet someone to date at church. First, it’s usually not a group for just the “religious elite” or the people that have their lives perfect. Like most churches, it’s a welcoming place that pushes the come as you are agenda. It is not filled with people that only read the Bible and speak only in hymns. There are “normal” and down to Earth people in church singles ministries.

Second, just because there isn’t someone that isn’t God’s fit for you in the singles ministry, does not mean that it can’t help you find love. We can’t tell you how many stories we’ve heard of people who went to a single’s ministry meeting, didn’t meet anyone there, but got set up with someone through someone they met there. “Hey, I think I know a guy (or girl) that would be perfect for you!” There’s a good chance you’re going to hear those words at a singles ministry.

Take the leap this year and give it a shot. The absolute worst thing that happens if you have some fun with some other religious single people, and that’s it! And if for some reason your church’s singles ministry is terrible, you don’t have to go back! And if they don’t have one, why not start one? Talk about a great way to get a date from church.

 

Don’t Speed In and Out of Church Every Sunday

 

Relationships at church are formed in the moments in between services and not while the pastor is preaching. It’s pretty hard to get a date with someone in the middle of a church service or during the quick greeting period. We see a lot of people that go to church and end up meeting zero people (not even friends) because they come in right at the beginning of service time and as soon as it’s over, it’s a mad dash to the parking lot to get to their car.

Try this. Slow it down a little bit. Mingle with your church some. Grab a cup of coffee if they have that there. Shake a few hands and get to know your congregation. Even if you don’t find the love of your life doing this, you’re going to meet some awesome people, make new friends, and really enhance your church experience. And, you are certainly going to increase your chances of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right.

This is good advice at anything you do, not just church. Block out a little time to mingle before or after an event and get to know some new people. We’re sure you’ll be pretty impressed with the results.

 

Get Involved in Church Events

 

You cannot meet people and ultimately get dates if you are not putting yourself in situations and environments where you can meet people and ultimately get dates. Yes, we repeated ourselves there on purpose. Get involved at your church! Volunteer! Become a greeter! Join a bible study! Join the men’s or women’s ministry! (You’d be shocked how many people will try and set you up within the men’s and women’s ministry).

Get yourself out there and start getting to know your church. You’ll make some awesome new friends, have a lot of fun, and you will start meeting people to go on dates with. This is the single simplest thing you can do to increase your chances of getting a date from church.

 

Let It Be Known You’re Looking For Love

 

If you’re noticing a theme through this how to meet someone and get a date from church guide, it is this – people at church are going to WANT to help you find love. Whether it’s a new friend you make or the old lady that sits in front of you or even the pastor, people are going to want to help you find love.

To be honest, we don’t really know why this is, but it just seems that people at church have a knack for wanting to play matchmaker and for actually being pretty good at it. It might be because they know a relationship will make you happy or is an important part of your religious life and health. Whatever the reason, it’s awesome, and it’s something that you need to take advantage of.

But, no one is going to set you up with anyone if they don’t know that you are single. How do people know you’re single? You let them know! All these new friends and new people you’re meeting should be aware of the fact that you’re single. You don’t have to run around the church singing it to everyone, but you should let it be known that you are single.

We have an awesome guide about how to ask your friends to set you up on a date that is a must read if you need some help on how to go about doing this. Let people know you’re single and ready to mingle, and then let them do what they do. You’ll end up with way more dates from church than you know what to do with.

 

Try an Online Religious Dating Site

 

There is another way that you can meet religious singles without having to change anything about what you’re doing at church already. In fact, we recommend that even if you’re going to take all of our tips from above to get a date from church, you also check out some religious online dating sites. They are filled with thousands and thousands of high-quality, religious singles in your area.

Below, we’ve linked some of the top online religious dating sites or dating sites that cater to helping you find a religious match. The links we’ve provided will also automatically set you up with a free trial, so you can check things out and see if it’s for you!

The post How to Meet Someone to Date at Church appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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eHarmony is one of the biggest and arguably most successful online dating sites out there. As it’s not a free site, you most likely will be making an investment of not just your money but your time into finding someone special. Because of that, you’re going to want to make sure you are getting the most out of your time on eHarmony. To help you out, we’ve included some of the most important tips for dating on eHarmony.

 

Only Use eHarmony if You’re Looking for Marriage

 

Not every online dating site is created equal. Certain online dating sites are geared at different kinds of people or people looking for different things. eHarmony is an online dating site that is 100% geared at people looking for marriage. If you are not looking to get married at some point in the foreseeable future, then eHarmony is not for you.

Now, it doesn’t mean that you have to be ready to get married right away. All we are saying is that you have to be dating with the intent of trying to find someone to marry. If you’re just looking for something casual, something fun, or just a fling, then eHarmony is not going to be the right dating site for you at least right now.

 

Set Aside Adequate Time to Get Signed Up

 

eHarmony’s sign up process is extensive. If you’ve read our eHarmony review, you know that the sign-up process can take 30-45 minutes. Now, this is not a negative. This is because eHarmony has an extensive process that they use to help find the best matches for you that you’re going to be the most compatible with. It’s the reason that they have so much success, so don’t be upset that it takes a little longer to get your account set up.

Our tip is to make sure you take the sign-up process seriously. Make sure you give yourself enough uninterrupted time to put the effort into the sign-up that you need to. It will dictate your entire eHarmony experience, so don’t just click through the questions so you can get to your matches quicker. Trust eHarmony to do what they are so famous for doing.

If you are limited on time, you can get started today and finish things up when you have more time. You can start the process and save your progress and come back when you have time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing this, and we actually encourage it because it gets you started. Sometimes the hardest part about completing anything is just getting started.

Take the first step today while you have the motivation. But, don’t rush through eHarmony’s sign up process because as we’ve already said, it is going to play a huge role in what matches they send you and who they think is going to be a great fit for you. They’re incredible at what they do, but they’re going to struggle to find you quality matches if they have rushed or incorrect information to work with.

 

Take Advantage of the Free Trial and the eHarmony Guarantee

 

One of the great things about eHarmony is that they do offer a free trial that allows you to get your entire account set up, create your profile and upload photos, and start searching through your potential matches. You will have limited abilities to reach out to any of your matches, but they show you plenty to make sure that the site is going to be a good fit for you before you even have to consider purchasing a paid membership

To get your free trial, check out our eHarmony free trial page where you will be automatically set up with a free trial account and be able to take advantage of all of the things eHarmony gives you access to. It’s the logical first step in the process to make sure the dating site is going to be a good fit for you.

Additionally, once you purchase an eHarmony membership, they have a guarantee that if you’re not happy within your first few months, they’ll tack on some additional months completely free to help you find what you’re looking for. There are some things that you have to do in order to show that you’re giving eHarmony an honest try, but it’s nothing crazy or out of the ordinary of what you’ll be doing anyway.

If you’d like to learn more about this program, check out our article on the eHarmony Guarantee now.

 

Take Advantage of Free Communication Weekends

 

If you’ve ever seen any of eHarmony’s commercials, you’ve probably heard about their free communication weekends. These are times when they pull back the curtain and allow people to communicate for the weekend for free. Now, there really is no schedule when these events happen, but they do seem to happen around holidays and three day weekends.

But, here’s the best way to take advantage of the next free communication weekend and ensure you don’t miss out. Create a free trial account now. That is going to accomplish two things. First, it gets you on their email list. This means that when they have their next free communication weekend, you’re going to get an email about it.

Second, it’s going to ensure that you get the most time out of the next eHarmony free communication weekend. Most people that hear about the free weekends will spend the first few hours getting their accounts set up, going through the compatibility tests, and uploading pictures. You, though, will already have all of this done. So, as soon as the free communication weekend starts, you can start communicating with your matches. This is huge especially if you don’t have the entire weekend to dedicate to talking to matches on eHarmony.

If you’d like to learn more about these events, check out our eHarmony Free Communication Weekend article now.

The post eHarmony Dating Advice appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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Older women are awesome. They know what they want in life, they don’t play games, and they still know how to have fun and be sexy. But, they’re not the same as the younger women or girls that you’re used to dating. They command a different type of respect and treatment to keep them happy, and that is what we’d like to cover today.

Below, you’ll find a collection of the top tips for dating an older woman. Keep in mind that we don’t mean the woman that is two years older than you or something like that. We’re talking about women that are at least 5+ years older than you and more specifically probably 10+ years older than you. Basically, we’re talking about women that are in a different phase of life than you are.

 

Do Not Call them an Older Woman Ever

 

Unless she has some weird fetish where she likes to be known as the older woman, you should never be calling her the older woman or any variation of that statement. Keep in mind that just because she makes comments about being older does not mean that she has a fetish for it or wants you to say it as well. In fact, this is often a defense mechanism to try and make them feel better about dating someone younger.

Older women sometimes are worried that life is going to pass them by or that maybe you’re going to trade them in for a newer model. To try and make themselves feel better and know that everything is okay, they might joke from time to time about being older. This is not your invitation to joke right alongside them. This is your invitation to let them know that age is just a number and it doesn’t matter to you who is older.

 

You Have to Communicate Effectively

 

Older women just seem to be better communicators. We’re not sure if it’s because of the life experience or if they are just over the games. Regardless, they are better at communication because they are just going to tell you what they want and that will actually be what they want. There will be no games where they tell you one thing in hopes that you interpret it to mean another thing and yadda, yadda, yadda, you know the game.

You can’t just sit back and reap the benefits of their great communication. You have to communicate just as effectively with them, or they are going to get annoyed and run for the hills or wherever it is that older women run to.

Here’s the good news. This is not hard. All you have to do is listen when they speak and say what you are actually feeling and want to say. Don’t hide things from them or expect bad situations to just correct themselves. Bad news does not get better with time. This is probably the single best tip for dating an older woman. If you can communicate well, your chances of success with an older woman will be much higher.

 

They Don’t Want Drama

 

The close runner up for the best tip for dating an older woman is this; they don’t want drama of any type, shape, or kind. All the stuff that you get annoyed at with the girls you date that are your age? Yea, they get annoyed by it too.

Now, before you just skip to the next section and say that you don’t have a problem with drama, we do want to point something out. Far more often than not, you are conditioned to drama because of the relationships you’ve had with girls your age. You’re extremely annoyed by it, you hate it, and all that good stuff, but you still fall victim to engaging in drama-seeking behavior.

In other words, your definition of no drama is going to be different than an older woman’s definition of no drama. To you, no drama probably means very minimal drama. To them, though, it literally means zero drama. Got a problem with someone at work? They don’t want to hear about it. A little annoyed by something they did that wasn’t major? They don’t care and don’t want to fight about it.

They just want to have fun and avoid the drama that they have already had the “privilege” of living through. Respect this and be the most drama free man that they know. You’ll be surprised at just how sexy older women find that.

 

Be Okay With Their Baggage

 

Here’s a life spoiler for you. The more time you spend on this Earth, the more baggage you are going to accumulate. Some of us are going to accumulate more baggage than others, but we are all going to accumulate some and the older you get, the more that will be. So, what should you expect dating an older woman? You should expect her to have some baggage.

This could be kids, ex-husbands, life situations, tragedies, etc. The list really is endless because there is an infinite number of things that can happen to someone in this crazy world we live in.

Here’s the point we’re trying to make. When you are dating an older woman, you have to be okay with their baggage. You can’t judge them for what has happened to them in their life or the decisions they have made in the past. You have to be willing to accept them for the woman they are today and be completely okay with it. If you’re not, then date someone else and don’t waste her time because she doesn’t deserve your judgment, nor is she going to stand for it so you’d be wasting both of your time.

To be honest, you should be okay with someone’s baggage you’re dating regardless of their age – same age, older, younger. When you choose to date someone, you agree to accept them for who they are and not judge them on their past decisions. You can judge them on their decisions once you start dating, but if it’s things that started before you got together, then you have no footing to push them to change anything.

Not all older women are going to have more baggage, but it’s just logical to expect that a lot of them will. Be prepared for this and be okay with it or stick to dating women your own age.

 

In Conclusion

 

The bottom line is that getting the opportunity to date an older woman is awesome. They are a special breed and can be incredibly fulfilling to be with regardless of whether it is something serious or just something casual. Just make sure you listen to the guidance we’ve given you here, and you’ll be doing just fine when it comes to dating an older woman.

The post Tips for Dating an Older Woman appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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If you’ve spent any amount of time on our site, you know that we like to focus a lot on first dates. Why? Well, the first date is the make or break time where you can make something awesome happen with someone special, or you can break your chances of anything continuing with someone awesome. First dates are important, and there is a lot you can do right and a lot you can do wrong that will affect the outcome of the date.

In this guide, we’re specifically going to talk about one of the biggest mistakes that you can make on a first date – taking your date somewhere that you frequent. It might seem like a great idea, but we’re going to make a strong case as to why this is something that you should avoid at all costs.

Before we go any further, we do want to make sure you’re aware of a few awesome resources we’ve put together for first daters. Make sure you’ve checked out our Complete List of First Date Mistakes You Have to Stop and The Ultimate First Date Checklist. These two guides and what you learn here today should help to get you all squared away for your upcoming first date!

 

What Happens if the Date Goes Poorly, But They Like the Place

 

If you know us, you know that we don’t like to just make claims or tell you to do something without backing it up. If you wanted someone to bark unfounded orders at you, you could probably call up your mom or your boss and let them go to town. But, that’s not how we roll here.

Let’s look at a first date scenario where you take your date to your favorite bar that you love to frequent after work. You know the bartender, and it’s just an awesome space that you love to go to in order to unwind. You show up with your date, order a round of drinks, and things are off to a great start. Your favorite bartender is even working and said hey to you and made you feel like a celebrity.

About 20 minutes into the date, though, your date starts to get quiet and so do you. You’ve read our blog on how to avoid awkward silences on dates, but it’s just not working. The date starts to spiral down from there and then your date eventually tells you they’re not interested and awkwardly shuffles out of the bar.

Good thing you don’t have to see them again, right?

The next day you go after work to grab a drink and who do you see there…on another date…in YOUR favorite bar? Yup. Your date from the night before is hijacking your favorite bar. It’s now becoming their favorite bar and where they decide they want to take their dates. You now have to decide to either deal with them there or lose your favorite bar.

Don’t risk losing a place you love for someone you just met. Save the sweet spots for later dates and take them somewhere that you don’t frequent in case it goes poorly, you don’t have to worry about seeing your cruddy date again.

 

You Could Run Into Friends or People You Don’t Want To

 

What is something that usually happens at a place you frequent? You make friends! Or, you start frequenting a place because your friends go there. It’s a chicken and the egg kind of thing, but the point is that places you frequent will probably be packed with people that you know.

Answer this question honestly. Do you want your friends sitting in the corner watching you while you’re on your date? Heck, you’re going to be nervous enough already as it is. Why add fuel to the fire by taking your date somewhere that if it goes terribly wrong, you’re never going to hear the end of it? Or, depending on what kind of friends you have, they might be the kind that could accidentally assist in making things go terribly wrong.

While there is nothing wrong with accidentally running into people that you know on a first date, it’s not ideal. The more variables that you can take out of the first date scenario, the better your chances are to have a good time and not run into any problems.

 

You Could Ruin Something That You Don’t Know About

 

You never know who is watching when you’re somewhere. Don’t worry; we’re not saying that to sound creepy. What we are referring to is the fact that a lot of places you go, there are probably people who are interested in you and might be interested in dating you in some capacity. It’s possible they are waiting for the right opportunity to talk to you or to work up the courage to come say hi.

What do you think they are going to do if they see you in there with someone else on a date? What are they going to do if they see you in there with multiple dates on multiple occasions? The answer is they are probably going to assume that you’re taken and never get the courage up to ask you out or let you know they are interested. If they see you parading people through, they might lose interest thinking you’re a player or something like that.

Don’t ruin opportunities that you don’t even know exist by bringing first dates through places you frequent. This would be like taking a first date to a work function or something like that. You never know who is watching.

 

The Weak Case for Taking a Date Somewhere You Frequent

 

We wouldn’t be offering you a complete guide if we didn’t at least look at some of the reasons for taking your date to your stomping grounds or a place you frequent. But, we will give you the spoiler that all of these arguments are actually an argument for a better solution that we’ll cover as well. Let’s start by looking at the reasons taking a date somewhere you frequent could be nice and then we will talk about what you should do about that.

 

You Can Get Special Treatment

Know a bar with a bartender friend? Probably going to get hooked up. Know a restaurant where you know the owner? You’re going to look like a boss. There are certainly some advantages to going somewhere you frequent, and they start with the level of service that you will get. If you’re a loyal customer they know, or you have a personal relationship with someone at the venue, it’s going to make for a better experience overall and possibly save you some cash.

 

You Know the Lay of the Land

When you go somewhere that you frequent, you can make the case that you are actually removing more of the variables as opposed to what we said earlier. You know what the menu looks like or what they offer, you know where everything is, and you know the ins and outs of what needs to happen to ensure a fantastic experience. Basically, you’re the expert on a location, and it’s going to make you look cultured and experienced when you bring your first date there.

 

Save it for a Later Date

Some pretty great arguments up there, yea? We actually agree. BUT!!! We think they are great arguments that still reign true on the second date or fifth date or any date other than the first. Wait until you know that someone might be around for a while before you go taking them to your stomping grounds.

Save the special treatment for someone who deserves it. You’re going to start to develop an odd reputation at your favorite locale if you are constantly parading men and or women through there.

The post Don’t Take a First Date to Your Stomping Grounds appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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One of the best ways to find new singles to go out with is by utilizing the help of your closest friends. Not only do they know you best, but if they’re a good friend, they most likely want to see you happy. But, you need to be careful when using this method because there are certainly a lot of ways to go about it wrong. If you don’t ask your friends to help set you up on a date the right way, you risk getting no help and potentially damaging your friendships.

But, never fear! In this article, we’re going to go over the things you need to know when asking your friends to help set you up on a date.

 

Be Open About What You Are Looking For

Your friends can’t help you find love if they don’t know that you’re looking or that you’re open to accepting their help. A lot of people out there are private about their love life, so your friends might assume you fall into that category and don’t want to overstep their boundaries. This is obviously not great for you if you’re looking for their help.

You need to tell your friends that you are looking to get out there and date more. But, you also need to let them know that you’d be interested in their help if they happen to know anybody. Here’s an example of what you could say.

 

“So, I think I’m ready to get out there and start dating some more. Do you happen to know anyone you think might be a good match for me?”

Wait for an answer and if they say yes, awesome! If they say no, you can say this.

“No worries. Would you mind keeping an eye out and let me know if you happen to run into anyone you think I might like.”

 

It’s really that simple. Tell them that you’re looking to date more or that you’ve been struggling to find quality people to date. Then, see if they know anyone right away that might be a good fit. You might be surprised how many of your friends are waiting to explode with a suggestion that they’ve been holding onto for weeks or months.

If they ask you what you’re looking for in particular, make sure that you have a concise answer prepared. If they don’t ask, don’t go ahead and volunteer it. You don’t want to start the process off by being annoying and giving them more information than they want to hear. Some friends will ask, and some will just tell you they will keep an eye out. If they don’t ask and you start giving them a full checklist of what you’re looking for in a date, you’re going to come across as pushy, and that’s not going to do much to make them want to help you.

 

Don’t Be Embarrassed

 

If you’re hesitant to ask your friends to help set you up on a date because you’re embarrassed, don’t be! Literally, everyone knows how hard dating is these days. Just because you haven’t found that special someone yet does not mean there is anything wrong with you. You may have been focusing on other things or you just might not have found exactly what you’re looking for.

Whatever the reason may be, there is zero reason to be ashamed or embarrassed about asking your friends for help. Sure, they may give you a hard time or a ribbing for fun, but they’re still going to help you. And, it’s all going to be in good fun. Your friends are your greatest wingmen and wingwomen; take advantage of that.

 

Don’t Be Obnoxious or Pushy About It

 

If there is a number one rule that you have to follow when asking your friends to help set you up on a date, it is this. Do not be pushy. Do not bother them constantly. All this is going to accomplish is making your friends annoyed with you and less likely to want to go out of their way to help you.

You have to remember this. When you ask your friends to help set you up with people they know, they are doing you a favor. They do not work for you. They are not obligated to help you. They owe you nothing. But, if they decide that they are willing to help you find love and get more dates, then you need to be nothing but grateful.

This also means that if they don’t want to help you or say they are going to and then do nothing, you cannot get mad at them. If you are not cool with this and completely okay with this, then you should not look into getting your friends to help set you up on dates. When you pay an online dating site or a matchmaker, you can expect results, but when you ask your friends for help, you need to expect nothing and be grateful for anything that they do end up doing for you.

 

If Your Friends Set You Up, You Need to Go

 

The quickest way to stop your friends from helping set you up on dates is by not going on the dates that they set you up with. Sure, you shouldn’t go out with someone that you don’t feel safe with or violates one of your actual deal breakers. But, you need to have an open mind and be willing to try going out with someone that you might not normally.

Remember, your friends know you well and what you’ve been doing so far isn’t working. Don’t be opposed to trying out something new because you may be pleasantly surprised with how well your friends know you.

Also, put yourself in your friend’s shoes. Imagine if one of your friends asked you to help get them dates. Imagine that you actually do this and every person you suggest they shoot down and refuse to go out with. Are you going to keep sending them recommendations? Are you going to keep trying to set them up? If we’re being honest here, probably not. It’s no fun to help someone who appears not to want to be helped.

Be open-minded and it will keep your friends motivated to keep helping you out. You don’t have to keep dating anyone you don’t like, but at least be open to going on some first dates that you might not normally go on.

 

It’s Okay to Remind Your Friends Every Few Weeks

 

So, we’ve made sure to be clear that you shouldn’t be annoying or obnoxious when asking your friends to help set you up on dates. But, it is okay to remind them that you are still looking every now and then. We would say every few weeks is probably plenty or you could look to do it once a month. This is certainly not being obnoxious, but it is going to remind your friends you’re still looking.

You see, finding love might be the most important thing in your life that you think about every day. But, your friends have busy lives, love lives of their own, and a lot going on. They will forget, and that is okay. It’s not their responsibility to remember to search for someone for you to go out with. But, this is why it’s okay to remind them. It’s okay to give them a friendly nudge.

Don’t EVER make them feel bad if they haven’t found anyone yet for you If they try and apologize for anything, let them know there is no need to apologize and you appreciate them continuing to keep an eye out for you. The purpose is not to guilt them into finding you someone. If you do that, they will end up just sending you someone they don’t think is a good fit just to send you someone.

Make them feel good and appreciated even if they aren’t really doing anything. Remember, it only takes one special person to change your life, and if you have multiple people out there looking, it’s only going to increase your chances of finding love!

The post How to Ask Your Friends to Help Set You Up On a Date appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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First impressions are important. This is a universal truth that does not go away when you’re talking about greeting a girl on a first date. Those first few seconds of meeting can set your date up for success or set you both up for an awkward night. In this guide, we’re going to talk about how to greet a girl on the first date. We’ll discuss what you should be doing and equally importantly what you should not be doing.

 

To Hug or Not to Hug?

 

If you notice, we skipped right over “to kiss or not to kiss.” We do not care if you are of French or Cuban or whatever heritage you come from that kisses people when you greet them. Do not kiss someone you are just meeting on a first date. It might be cool in other situations, but you need to be respectful on your first date. You don’t know what your date is going to be comfortable with, and you can really shoot yourself in the foot right off the bat.

Now, when it comes to hugging, that is going to be up to you. What we recommend you do is go with the half hug and commit to it. What do we mean? Well, let’s break it down. When we say the half hug, we mean the one arm, sometimes two arm hug that you’d give to a stranger that you just met or maybe someone at church or a buddy you haven’t seen in a while. The best way to describe this hug is it’s usually at an angle with your head turned to the side hugging half of their body. We hope that makes some sort of sense.

Don’t give them a full on, two-armed, intimate hug that lasts for anything more than just half a second. This will feel creepy and will certainly set your date off to a terrible start. Go with the friend hug, not the romantic hug on a first date. If you’re confused or not sure what is okay, then just opt for no hug.

But, we do feel a quick friend type hug does break that awkward physical barrier that sometimes exists on a first date. Do what you are comfortable with and don’t pressure your date to do something they aren’t comfortable with. If she pulls away when you go in for a hug, abandon ship.

But, as long as she does not pull away, commit to giving the friendly hug. The weirdest thing you can do is halfway commit to giving a hug. You’ll find yourself awkwardly standing there with your arm out, and it’ll look really weird, and you will feel awkward. If you’re going to give the greeting hug, then commit to going for it and only quit if they seem to pull away or act like they’re not feeling it.

 

Do Not Shake Hands

 

If you elect not to go for the hug or you go for it, and you jump ship part way through, do not replace that with a handshake. How can we say this clearer? DO NOT SHAKE HANDS WHEN YOU GREET A GIRL ON A FIRST DATE. Sorry for yelling, but this is super important. Shaking hands is something you do with someone at work or your parent’s friends. If you’d like to have a romantic relationship with the girl you’re going out with, then don’t shake her hand when you greet her for the first time. Actually, there are zero times when you’re going to want to shake her hand on any dates ever in your entire life.

 

Some Great First Date Greetings You Can Use

 

So, we’ve covered what you should physically be doing when you first greet a girl on a first date, but what do you say? Obviously, you can’t just walk up and half-hug the girl and say nothing. Let’s talk about what you should say by starting with a few example greetings. Let’s pretend your first date is with a girl named Sarah.

 

“You must be Sarah! Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Sarah? Hey! I’m Bob. It’s awesome to finally meet you.”

“Hey! You made it! It’s great to meet you in person.”

 

Seriously, it is that simple. You want to confirm that you’re greeting the right person and once you do, you want to let them know that you’re excited to meet them. You’re not really looking for a verbal answer confirming they are who you think they are. But, instead, you’re looking for a physical reaction that confirms or denies you’re talking to the right person. If they start smiling and coming towards you, it’s probably them. If they give you a puzzled who are you talking to look, then you might not have the right girl.

Also, it hopefully goes without saying, but you should be smiling while all of this is going on.

 

Plan a Detailed Meeting Spot

 

We unearthed something in the last section that we want to address. If you’re meeting a girl from online dating, there is a chance that she might not look exactly like she does in her pictures. This could be on purpose, or it just might be the fact that people sometimes look different in person. Our guess is that your question is not how to greet a girl on the first date, but it’s in fact how to successfully greet the right girl on the first date.

How can you ensure that you’re meeting with the right girl? Well, we already gave you one tip of how to do it based on what you say when you’re greeting them on the first date and the physical cues that you look for. But, another good thing to do to really ensure things go smoothly is plan a detailed meeting spot.

If you make it very clear where you will be, then it’s a lot more challenging to end up greeting the wrong girl. The key here is the details. For example, let’s say that you decide you’re going to grab drinks for your first date. Instead of saying, “Hey, I’ll meet you at Smokey’s Pub,” say something more specific like, “Hey, I’ll meet you at 7pm outside of Smokey’s Pub. There’s a bench out front I’ll be sitting on so you can’t miss me!”

You’ve also gone ahead and made your date less nervous that they might not find you. Some people get nervous having to walk into a new place without knowing exactly who they are looking for. By giving them exact details about where you’re going to greet them on the first date, you take away this fear. You’ll also notice that we recommend meeting them outside instead of going inside. It just makes things much less nerve-wracking for the woman you are meeting.

 

Make Eye Contact Not Chest Contact

 

When you greet a girl on the first date, you are probably going to be tempted to check her out. While there is nothing wrong with that because physical attraction is important, you want to make sure that you don’t look like a perv or a dog. When you greet her, make eye contact. Don’t get caught staring at her chest, her butt, her whatever it is that you’re into. Even if she’s wearing something sexy, overcome the temptation and earn those gentleman brownie points.

 

Greet Her On Time

 

The last thing we want to talk about comes straight from our Ultimate First Date Checklist as well as our list of first date mistakes. What is so important that we felt the need to put it in two different guides? Be on time. You have got to be on time for your date. In fact, you’re better off being a few minutes early. Women love men who are reliable, and if she can’t rely on you even to show up on time for the first date, she’s going to wonder if you’re just unreliable. Plan accordingly and make sure you get there on time.

 

Additional Resources

 

The above information helps answer the question of how to greet a girl on the first date, but that’s only the beginning of the date. There is a lot more that goes into the first date. If you’d like some more help, check out our First Date Advice section that is chalked full of guides, tools, and resources to help you have the best first date possible.

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You’ve done the hard part! The first date is lined up, you’ve got a plan, and now you just have to get ready. But, what all do you have to do to get ready? What has to happen to make sure the first date goes well? What if you forget something? Take a breath; we’ve got you covered! Below you’re going to find the ultimate first date checklist. We’re going to cover literally everything you need to do to ensure that you’re ready for your first date and that it goes off without a hitch.

 

How You Look on a First Date

 

It’s no secret that everyone wants to look their best on a first date. For those using online dating or on a blind date, this is going to be the first time you see this person in person. You know that they’re going to form an opinion of you from the second they see you across that Chili’s parking lot or from outside that coffee shop window. Here’s what you need to make sure you do before your first date in regards to your appearance.

 

Clip and Clean Your Fingernails

You’re going to be close enough to another human where they will be able to see your hands and your fingernails. You might not know it, but a lot of people will judge how well you take care of yourself based on your fingernails. No, they don’t have to be manicured and styled, but if they look like a dog chewed them all off, are freakishly overgrown, or are dirty, you’re going to put off the wrong impression. Take two minutes before your first date and clip your fingernails. If you’re wearing flip flops or open toed shoes, this goes for your toenails too.

 

Brush Your Teeth, Floss, and Get Some Breath Mints

There is nothing that is going to turn your first date off more than dirty teeth or bad breath. Even if you don’t have the prettiest teeth in the world, you can at least make sure they are as clean as they can be and that your breath is not kicking. Additionally, if you drink coffee or eat food on your date, your breath could take a turn for the worse. Bring some breath mints with you in your pocket.

 

Get a Hair Cut or Style Your Hair

You’re going to notice a trend with our first date tips here. We don’t think you have to go out and spend a bunch of money getting yourself ready, but you do have to make an effort. When it comes to your hair, you don’t have to go out and spend a ton of money getting it professionally style. But, if it is overgrown and looks all shaggy, get it trimmed.

Additionally, make sure that you wash your hair. No one wants to go out with someone who might have a bird’s nest or snacks living or stored in their hair. We’re talking about just a few minutes to make sure your hair looks clean and smells clean.

 

Wash and Iron Your Clothes

This is a personal pet peeve of a lot of the staff here and one that sparked a big discussion when we were writing this guide. Dressing nicely for a first date is awesome. But, if you wear nice clothes that are dirty or wrinkled, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Take just a few minutes and iron your clothes if they are wrinkled. If they’re dirty, wash them. We’re not asking for a lot here, but we are asking that you do some basic things to make sure you look like someone worth going out with.

 

The Logistics of the First Date

 

Now that you know how to look the part on a first date, we want to talk about first date planning. This section is geared towards those of you who are in charge of planning the date. But, if you are along for the ride, it’s still a good read. Our goal is to make sure that you don’t miss anything and can relax a bit more knowing that you have the entire first date and any contingencies planned for.

 

Have Two Money Sources Ready

Sometimes it’s not clear who is going to be paying on a first date. For that reason, this tip goes out to everyone that’s going to be on the date. Make sure you have two different sources of money available for the first date. That way, you can pay for the date if you’re planning on it or if you weren’t planning on it but end up splitting the check. Showing up with no money on a date is just silly because you never know what could happen.

Why two sources of money on a first date? Well, if you’ve been using banking for a while, you know that things are not always reliable. What happens if you go to use your debit or credit card and your bank freezes it? You’ll want to have cash or a different card from a different bank so that you don’t look like someone with financial problems on the first date.

If you say you’ll just bring cash, what happens if the date ends up a little more expensive than you had planned for? You are going to want to have a backup plan. Even if you never use it, just knowing that you are covered will be a load off. You know that nervousness that comes when the waiter or bartended walks off with your card to pay the bill? Yea, you can get rid of that if you have a backup source just in case.

 

Have a Plan of Where You’re Going

Don’t just plan to “hang out” on a first date. Have a plan about where you are going, when you are going, and any other details that need to be covered to make for a great date. If you’ve read any of our other articles, you know that we say first dates are not about impressing the other person, but they’re about finding out if there is compatibility. That being said, you should still do your job of adequately planning the date if you’re the one making the plans.

 

Scout Out the Location

If you’re going somewhere on your first date that you’ve never been before, you’re going to want to scout out the location beforehand if you can. This doesn’t mean that you have to go have drinks at the bar or get coffee from the coffee shop, but at least drive by and peek in the window. Make sure that where you are going is what you want it to be. Imagine planning a date at what you think is a nice bar thanks to pictures online and showing up and it’s a garbage dump, crap-hole. Yea, not going to make for a great first date.

 

Have a Backup Plan

No matter how good your plan is for a first date, things can go the wrong direction. Maybe you show up, and the bar is closed? Maybe you show up, and your date’s ex is sitting at the coffee shop? There are a lot of different things that can happen where you’ll need to call an audible.

You don’t have to have an entire second first date set up, but you should at least have an idea of some other things you could do in the same area. For example, if you’re going for coffee, at least know about another coffee shop or restaurant that serves coffee in the area.

If you have to use your backup plan, it will impress your date to see that you even have one. And, if things don’t go quite smoothly with the second plan, they will be understanding as long as they aren’t a terrible person who you don’t want to be going out with anyways. Just make sure you at least have some sort of plan in case your first plan doesn’t work out. You don’t want to be standing there outside a bar staring at your phone trying to figure out something to do with this person you just met that you want to like you.

 

Have a Transition Plan

A transition plan on a first date is probably something you’ve never heard of before. It might sound like a backup plan, but it’s actually quite different. A transition plan on a first date is something you use when things are going well. You need to have a plan for something secondary that you can do if you both want to keep hanging out for longer but don’t want to stay at the first location.

This happens a lot. Let’s say you go out and grab dinner with someone for a first date. You get done with dinner, and it’s clear you both want to keep hanging out. You can’t really just sit at the restaurant for hours, so you need to have a plan of somewhere to transition.

Again, it doesn’t have to be a completely flushed out plan, but just something that you can have in your back pocket if things go well and you want to keep hanging out.

 

Have a Safety Plan

First dates don’t always go well. First dates can quickly turn into the last date with someone. Usually, this is just from some awkwardness, or because you both don’t click. But in rare instances, there are times that a first date can become unsafe. You need to make sure that you have a safety plan in place to get yourself out of there quickly if need be. You also need someone who is your check-in buddy as well. If you want more information on this or haven’t read it yet, check out our Online Dating Safety guide right now. Not to sound dramatic, but it could save your life.

 

Proper First Date Etiquette

 

So, we’ve got you dressed for success, and you’ve planned like a champion. All that is left now is to cover what you should and should not be doing on your first date. Below, you’ll find probably the most important tips for your first date that will help to guarantee you success.

 

Don’t Forget Your Manners

No matter who you are going out with and how they choose to act on a first date, you should be on your best behavior and bring your manners. This means chewing with your mouth closed, not talking with food in your mouth, putting your napkin in your lap if you’re eating, not swearing like a sailor, and anything else that you’ve ever been taught is polite to do. It doesn’t take a lot of effort, but it does take some effort. Just imagine that your mom or grandma is sitting at the table next to you and act accordingly. Also, please don’t actually bring your mom or grandma on the date; that would just be weird.

 

Have Some Conversation Topics In Mind

If you’re not the best at making conversation, it might help to have some topics in mind to talk about on your first date. You don’t need to have a full list of things, but at least a few questions or things you’re interested to get to know about your date will go a long way. If you’d like to learn more about keeping the conversation going on a date, check out our guide on how to prevent awkward silences on a first date.

 

Don’t Get Drunk

The whole purpose of a first date is to get to know the person you are going out with and for them to get to know you. If you’re drunk, you’ll have a hard time getting to know them, and they will be getting to know the drunk you. Additionally, it’s not a great look. No one wants to go out with the person that cant’ keep their alcohol under control on a first date.

But, what is more important than all of that is that getting drunk on a first date is unsafe. You are going out with someone that you don’t really know. Whether you are the guy or the girl, you are going to want to be in control of your surroundings on a first date in case things don’t go as plan. Hopefully, the person you go out with is awesome, but if they end up being a creeper or dangerous, you don’t want to be drunk and unable to do what is necessary to protect yourself.

 

Be On Time

Seriously, show up on time for your first date. The best practice is to plan on being 15 minutes early to your date. That way if something happens like traffic or car trouble on your way there, you aren’t going to be late. Being on time shows respect and that you value your date’s time. Showing up late sets a bad tone for the date from the second you show up. If you don’t want to be “playing from behind” then you need to be there on time.

 

Listen

Most people just want someone on a first date who is capable of listening to them. People get nervous and love to talk to fill the silence. Also, people love to talk about themselves, and will often talk someone’s ears off on a first date. Take a breath, take a break, and listen. Listen to what they have to say. Get to know them. Respond to what they actually say. Don’t just say the pre-programmed thoughts you have in your mind. You will be shocked at how much more success you have on first dates if you just take the time to listen to your date.

 

The Wrap Up

 

It may seem like a lot that you have to do on a first date, but most of it should be common sense. If you just put forth a little bit of effort, you’re going to be light years ahead of the rest of the world which means you’ll have a lot of success. If you’d like to read some more information on first dates, we do have some additional resources for you. First, we have our guide to meeting an online date for the first time. We’ve also got an entire section of the site that is dedicated to first date advice. These are both great resources to help you lose the nervousness and get prepared to have the best first date possible.

The post The Ultimate First Date Checklist appeared first on Online Dating Advice.

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