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It happened again. People who know us forgot that I was his mother. I am white. My son is Black. This is a tremendous invisible burden for him. Being asked to explain yourself or justify yourself as an adoptee is called “narrative burden.” It’s not fair to him, but it is his albatross. Every.single.time. we […]
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Okayest Mom by Okayest Mom - 3w ago

From the kid who says things like, "I like hot pants. They keep me warm", here's a list of R's five-year-old quotes for you.
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We daydreamed about the glory days and the track and the romance and the speed, while we were covered in spit up and poop and were decidedly stationary.
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Would Jordan Edwards still be alive if neighbors hadn’t called the cops with a noise complaint? I don’t know who made that call, but someone did. Tonight, the cop who shot Jordan in the head with a rifle for no reason has just been charged with murder. I am overwhelmed with relief to see the […]
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"You has a zipper on your pants?! Wow, that’s scary!"
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Each thought or feeling or emotion is a train car. They are not actually YOU. They are passing by. Feelings are visitors who will eventually leave.
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I think I was screaming. I’m not sure. My brain was already working the motherhood miracle of simultaneously scanning for injuries, considering the needs of the other twin, plotting a 911 call or a minivan race to the hospital, and also, of course, the dog who wants to eat the poopy underwear on the floor.
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I am obligated to use my voice for others who have no voice. Staying quiet is no longer an option. Change will not happen if we don’t speak up. Literally. Speak.
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Mother to mother, we know that we have all fought for our children in times of crisis. But I have realized that "fighting for my child" sometimes means just showing up again the next day. It's the meltdowns. It's the invisible problems. It's trying again.
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I am single in the relationship sense, but I most certainly am not a single mother.
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