Every day, we eat things we shouldn't and come into contact with all sorts of toxins without even knowing it. We are not designed to deal with this sort of overload and we can become backed up. Our bodily systems then start to fail and we get ill. Sometimes slowly, sometimes quite suddenly.
Did you ever imagine as an adult you would struggle to be confident, ask for what you want, do what you want and say No to what you don't want?
Do you find that despite being very able at work when you get to your private life you just never imagined the life you lead?
Being confident is actually not the same as being successful. I know that there are many times I am doing better than ever at work and worry about what will meet me at home. That totally undercuts my success at work and ends up being all I think about all day.
Why? Because you can be very successful in one area of life and not feel good in another area of life at all. And your personal life is actually vital to your wellbeing. But the more professional success we have the harder our personal insecurities are to bear.
In this video I help you to understand the one thing you can do now to feel more confident and to grow your own personal self esteem.
When we get sick we quite naturally, immediately look to our bodies for the problem.
But what if we start with this question - When you get sick is it a physical problem or an emotional problem?
CLIENT CASE STUDY
I spoke with a client today who has laryngitis. It turned out that every time she went to visit her boyfriend, she would get sick. When we probed, we found out that she hated how dirty her boyfriends house was.
But she didn't feel she could do anything about it as it wasn't her house, and that she particularly couldn't SAY anything about it.
It so infuriated her that his place was untidy, dusty and unclean that it made her ill every time she went there.
But how to speak this? She felt she couldn't.
So, she didn't and ultimately she 'lost her voice'.
When we unpacked the issue and understood how she could have the conversation, her voice got stronger and stronger.
Does that not sound ultimately consequential - Don't speak, can't speak?
When we do get sick, a good place to start is to look to our emotions to see where we feel weak, unheard, unspoken.
Everything in our lives is created by us, from within us. Despite our urge to blame others for much of our lives. :)
Particularly around illness, pain and other physical issues.
Ultimately we are responsible for our interactions with the outside world and we attach our own emotional significance to every interaction.
These are not new ideas, Louise Hay wrote about this over a 20 years ago in Heal Your Body
Let me ask you this...........how do you usually get sick?
Is it your voice - where are you not speaking?
Is it your tummy - what are you finding hard to absorb about your life?
Is it a particular time of year at work? Where do you feel overwhelmed and unable to speak up?
Now lets be clear, I am not saying its your fault you are sick.
What I am saying is that before you get sick, there were many, many signs on the way which we ignore. And then when we ignore them, only then, do we get sick.
Here are some signs:
waking up tired
having no energy
being exhausted all the time
struggling with overwhelm
feeling empty inside
I know you are too busy to deal with this - so if you have a headache - you take a pill and get on with it.
But lets be clear, not one of you would keep driving a car with no petrol in it - you would rush to refuel it. And that is what those signs above are trying to tell you.
There's some small thing that its better to fix now. Before it gets bigger and harder to fix. [Like your car stopping dead in the middle of the road]
It's not always easy to find what the problem is but that's why I am here.
If you don't know where to start let me help you get clarity..........
"To help you focus in on, and identify, the one thing you can do right now, that will make everything else further down the road easier or unnecessary."
It's a powerful conversation to have and gives you back control and feels extremely liberating when you do it on a 45 minute strategy session with me.
You're so busy doing things that its hard to stop and work out what you can stop doing! Trying to work out how get less busy, exhausted and overwhelmed is yet another thing to add to your list…….that you will get to….when you have the time to look at it. At the moment you are too stuck doing the stuff you have to get through every day……....
When you sit down to actually think about your life, and how you could change it, you feel so trapped your To-Do list that it's almost impossible (and feels too painful) to work out what you need to be doing to get results NOW.
I get it...
And sometimes feeling this way can actually prevent you from putting yourself in a position to make progress. The line of thinking is...
"Well I'm already busy enough, I don't have time to watch this or book this call, etc."
This is a mental bias that all of us have and it's actually scientifically backed.
Our brains will do almost anything to prevent us from committing too much energy or resource to one task. In your case, it's not that you're not doing enough, it's that you're doing too much. And therefore, there's no time leftover for the right activities... let alone control (which is where real freedom is won).
That's why I am running these complimentary diagnostic sessions.....
"To help you focus in on, and identify, the one thing you can do right now, that will make everything else easier or unnecessary."
It's a powerful statement, and extremely liberating when you do it on a 45 minute strategy session with me.
I had a strategy session with Gabie, who had spent 5 years battling with her physical appearance. She was scared that the great results she had gotten on our ABC programme would not last.
Here's what she had to say:
"I emailed Geeta voicing my worries and she responded by offering me a free consultation. I really felt as though Geeta took me seriously and genuinely wanted to help alleviate any fears.
The consultation itself was great - Geeta was so supportive, encouraging and forthcoming with advice. However, the most important thing she taught me is that Nosh is not about following a litany of dietary rules (something I had always done in the past with little success). Instead, Nosh is about having the freedom to make choices. What a relief!"
If you'd like me to help you feel powerful and in control, have the confidence to change your life and and the freedom to make choices like Gabie, then do as she did and...
In times of turbulence it can be hard to see the way clear to your success - let alone anyone elses.
If everyone around you is feeling uncertain and uncomfortable for whatever reason - be it Brexit, a promotion, or even a new pregnancy - it's hard to be the only, overtly confident, person in the room.
Well who are you to say you know what to do? What if you're wrong?
But, times of turbulence are the best time to step up your game.
It's the best time to be the architect of your success.
You've heard me speak before about the fact that women have so many roles in their lives. Proper, full, unassailable success comes from feeling confident across every role in your life.
How do you do that?
Well you start by providing a support system for yourself even while you support everyone else around you.
Exercise To Do In Quiet Space
Write down all the roles you occupy and in which you have to provide leadership in your life now (aka you have responsibility for the outcome)
List the current amount of stress you feel for each one - 5 is stressful, 1 is not.
Define how you see/think what is success for each one.
Who do you have to be to achieve this?
Understand the Problem
We have taken a seat 'at the table' and in doing so kept all our old responsibilities and added on new ones - but in the process given up our power. We've become the victims of our own success in a way. If you niche down to understanding your idea of 'success' your behaviour changes to let go of everything else.
Apply the Solution
Ultimately its to change your vibration and the frequency your energy occupies.
Accept your power
Get comfortable in your skin
Understand this: Power = Inside Game
If this doesn't feel easy or comfortable book in a session with me and I'll help you with it.
Do you find that you eat breakfast and your are starving within a few hours?
If you are like any of our clients this is what you hate the most about dieting! The sheer bloody hunger we feel when we deprive ourselves. And sometimes it happens even after you've eaten 'a good breakfast'! Very annoying.
But I just couldn't work out why this happened. So it piqued my interest. Why when I’ve had a meal, do I get hungry again within just 2 hours?
I thought it was more protein I needed and I know that as a vegetarian I have to be careful with this so I adjusted my protein and tested it on myself. But it turned out that that didn't really help.
So back to the experts I went!
And imagine this……………all my research led me to one inescapable fact.
Lack of fat makes you fat.
Shall I say that again? Lack of fat makes you fat.
Why is this?
Because there is a process called ketosis. When we eat our normal low fat diets the body does not use up its fat for fuel. But when you dramatically increase the addition of good fats, the body goes into a a metabolic state whereby it shifts to burning fat for fuel. AKA a state of ketosis.
But – and this is the gold – you need to trip a metabolic switch to shift the body into ketosis.
And when you do this, many people report a dramatic difference in their metabolic functions, including the ability to:
• go long periods without food
• lose weight effortlessly
• manage and regulate blood sugar
• restore blood markers to normal levels, and so much more
Once you’re in ketosis, you spend so much time just not hungry!
I’m sure you’ve heard of bulletproof coffee? The amazing thing about it is that its used as part of a ketogenic diet.
Now I don’t like coffee and I don’t like traditional Ketogenic diets which get their fat from Meat, eggs, butter.
But try this drink. I drink this in the morning and don’t get hungry for nearly four hours!
Do you ever think about how you create your success?
Men and women approach success very differently. Men who are successful at work - go forth on the premise they are successful people. Everyone has met the short, fat, obnoxious man who loves himself when he's standing on his wallet!
Women are successful at work and think ...........sheesh why can't I stop eating sugar? Why am I single? Why can't I lose this extra weight? We don't traditionally manage to take success in one part of our lives (for eg. work) and 'see' it across our lives. In fact being women, we beat ourselves up by seeing what isn't successful a lot of the time.
This is as a result of the expectations we are brought up with from childhood - unwillingly and unknowingly absorbed. I teach my coaching clients that there is a 'construct of expectations' (much like a jail!) that we spend our lives within.
It's totally unfair to live like this since its really hard to fight your own subconscious.
As an Indian woman I know a thing or seven about expectations......we are a highly contrived society where the 'correct' behaviour is spelt out from childhood. And woe betide you if you try and break out................
The starting point to figuring this out is this:
- what do you do that baffles you because you can't seem to control it?
- which areas do you feel the most guilt and shame around?
- where do you support others but can't ask for that support for yourself?
Write these answers down. (Thinking about them is not the same)
The best part of my job is when I run into clients who think that they have tried everything - and they know that nothing works!
But we've been doing this for years and I know that when it comes to your body, there is something that works. We don't always know what that is though - sometimes its trial and error.
But my Digestion Injection is a thing of pure joy. It does what it says on the tin. If you have a sluggish, stuck digestion and nothing is helping to shift your weight, this could be for you!
We originally got some great coverage for this in the Guardian when journalistZoe Williamswas pleasantly surprised with her results- albeit a bit confused: "Now, it is incredibly hard to measure your metabolism. But a week later I was – and I know you will struggle to believe this – two kilograms lighter."
But the good news is she is not the only one who's had amazing results with this injection. We had another client come in who had read Zoe's account............and this is what happened:
"Before I came I'd tried various diets even got a personal trainer 3 times a week doing extensive weight bearing and cardio exercise plus diet and lost nothing, even my personal trainer was surprised. Then, after reading a positive write up in the Guardian I decided to come and do this injection and it had a positive effect - I lost 1/2 stone." Beverley Chambers.
Around Xmas is a good time to boost your metabolism - try this, you'll be pleasantly surprised and it takes an entire 2 minutes!
Does that sound like a funny question? The thing is that social media has created an environment where women are under more and more pressure to look perfect all the time.
If you are posting parts of your life all the time, you are unwittingly or wittingly 'on' all the time.
That creates an enormous pressure to be perfect on every level.
Speaking to a woman in her 30's today she told me that her friends in relationships felt that they were 'disposable'. I asked her what it meant and she said that when you were in a culture where literally second by second, good looking, hot, available women were in front of your man all the time, she and her friends worried all the time that they could be so easily replaced.
I don't know about you but that depressed the crap out of me!
Why would see yourself as so ............interchangeable? Unforgettable?
And honestly this is the modern version of........ 'just smile'!!
If you feel this unsafe and unsure in your primary intimate relationship, you are totally giving away your power and making yourself weak. Also if you think this is true, there is no way you are putting down the boundaries you need in your relationship. It is in no way serving you.
Lets look at this another way. When you see someone in perfect make up, perfect body, perfect look - you admire them don't you? But if there are 10 of them in a room, you stop admiring them and start picking them apart to work out who is best.
But if you see someone who is smiling, laughing, confident, shining, how often do you remember what they were wearing? What their make up looked like? Or how good you felt when you were with them?
I think this stems from our desire to be liked.
Let me tell you what I always say 'Your opinion of me in NONE of my business.'
(Also known as bite me.....) Some people love me, some hate me. Meh. So what? But very few people forget me once they've met me - for good or bad :) I am 100% not interchangeable with someone else.
Your only goal in life is to develop your confidence.
Develop it to such an extent that when someone walks away from you, that's what they remember about you.
As young girls growing up, we are taught above all to behave, to be nurturing and pleasing to those around us.
We are shown again and again that the most important thing is to stay quiet, and SMILE.
Very bloody annoying.
As we get older, the consequences of these teachings really show up in our interactions as adults, particularly in our personal, intimate and romantic relationships.
How does it show up? Again and again I find in my private coaching clients that when they feel vulnerable they tend to show up as victims. Because being submissive is a safe space for women in our private lives.
But when we enter into romantic relationships it leads to a heavy imbalance. It also ensures having successful balanced relationships are virtually impossible. Being victims means we lurch from drama to drama.
But, and this is the point, we don’t know what else to do.
When you’ve been told not to rock the boat, when you’ve been told to bloody smile, (again how annoying is that???), and to conform, then its hard to find a place of power for yourself and to stay feminine within that space.
Definition of a Victim: [a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment]
How are you meant to be in a relationship with a man and allow him to protect you and cherish you when you a) earn more than him, b) had to do everything yourself?
The pivot we need to make as the women of our generation is to learn how to feel vulnerable and feel STRONG instead of feeling vulnerable and a victim.
Scary scary crap isn’t it? Let me break it down.
Being vulnerable is an interesting mental approach.
The dictionary defines ‘vulnerable’ as being weak.
Let me introduce you to my definition. For me, being vulnerable -
1. It’s the opposite of being a victim;
2. Its emotionally powerful;
3. Its being receptive to circumstances whilst staying in a state of calmness;
4. Its being authentic and aligned.
5. It’s a lack of aggression.
When you are in alignment, you know what you want, who you are, why you do what you do, being open and peaceful and calm? Its super strong.
My daughter asked me last night what I thought success was. And I explained to her that the measure of success is actually very personal - because we use it to define ourselves.
For me, being successful is so important because not only am I wholly committed to it, and deeply ambitious, but it's been a necessity because I am my family's breadwinner. I literally cannot afford to be ill or unwell, or even perform at sub-par.
In fact I show up as a major commodity in my life because I am so committed to success.
But being the source of your success, as you get older, does take its toll. It has a price. And although this is different for everyone, I can guarantee you this, it shows up in your most vulnerable spots:
- gut health/digestion
- negative thoughts that get harder and harder to escape from.
And what's scary about this is that when you start to 'age' whatever is out of balance starts to get worse bit by bit. Until it starts to affect your work and your performance because you can't ignore that headache, or that indigestion, or that back pain anymore.
Here is what has had huge success with my coaching clients. Tweak your desires so that you don't any more measure your success. Instead measure your impact.
Make it your biggest fear that your don't take advantage of every opportunity you can to have an impact.
The dictionary definition of Impact is as follows:
Verb - "a marked effect or influence"
And yes that can mean contributing to charity and doing good deeds.
But I don't mean that.
I want you to measure impact every day, in everything you do until it becomes 2nd nature.
So instead of counting money you offer inspiration.
Instead of checking progress you offer solutions.
Instead of buying more you show up more for the people you see every day.
Impact is actually a huge part of success. Success is an outer measurement which creates internal stress.
Impact has inner depth and is felt in your body - giving peace and calm.
Also impact is measured immediately - because it has immediate results.
It's a small pivot with huge results.
Any problems, give me a call, I'd be delighted to help. https://meetme.so/GeetaSidhu-Robb