If you’re looking to raise your vibration, there are lots of ways you can do that. But if you want to attract love, with the right man, follow these eight steps.
What Does It Mean to Raise Your Vibration?
The concept begins with the idea that everything in the universe is made from energy which has a pattern, frequency or vibration. To raise your vibration means to literally vibrate at a higher level.
For example, different emotions impact your energy. If you’re sad or depressed, your vibe is lower on the scale. But when you are happy or in love, that elevates your frequency dramatically.
When it comes to attracting love, you want your frequency higher on the scale because that is simply more appealing. This is why dating experts advise being upbeat and happy on a first date.
Think about it, complaining never helped you forge a positive lasting bond with a man, right?
The higher your vibe is, the more magnetic you are to attract the opportunities into your life. Who doesn’t want that? A lot of what is required is based on self-care with a spiritual twist You got this!
8 Steps To Raise Your Vibration
1.Attune to Spirit
Start your day by meditating and tuning into to your higher-self, the Universe or spirit. When you clear your mind and get in touch with all there is, that is a surefire way to raise your vibration.
Meditation has been proven as a powerful way to reduce anxiety, improve productivity and create a sense of overall wellness.
You can do a simple meditation like counting your breath in blocks of 10 or listen to guided meditations that take you on a journey in your mind.
When you’re rushing around, getting stuff done, you are likely not seeing the beauty of the world around you. But as you slow down to be more conscious of your surroundings and smell the proverbial roses, you will elevate your frequency.
Enjoy the beauty of flowers blooming, cloud formations, rays of sunshine, birds flying by because that appeals to your senses and brings on a feeling of happiness. Stopping to appreciate something beautiful is a simple, but rewarding practice.
3. Repeat Affirmations
If you are hoping to attract love, repeating affirmations can also be very effective. An affirmation is a positive statement, about something you want as if it was happening right now.
They are always said using the present tense of a verb. For example, “I’m in love with a wonderful man who cherishes me, is a good friend and loves me like no other.”
When you focus on what you want as if it’s true for you right now, your energy is lifted to be an energetic match to what you want.
That’s exactly how the Law of Attraction operates.
4. Be Creative
When was the last time you did something creative? When you focus your attention on creating, once again you raise your vibration. Creativity is an expansive activity that opens doors and opportunities as you allow that energy to flow through you.
Not only will you come out with something wonderful, maybe a painting to hang on your wall, or adding a little flair to your jeans with embroidery, creativity increases your frequency.
Interview with Dr. Masaru Emoto about the magic of Water(rice experiment) - YouTube
Before you drink that glass of water, take time to infuse it with loving energy. According to Masaru Emoto, whose work is shown in the video above, you can drink in the vibration of what you want to manifest in your life.
I read his book The Hidden Messages in Water, years ago about his experiments with photographing water crystals and was amazed. You can do infuse the water with love and good health among other things.
Simply pour yourself a glass of water and hold it with both palms. Imagine sending thoughts of love and good health directly into the water. Take 30 seconds to do this, then drink! Now you will vibrate with the energy of love and good health!
There are lots of ways to reduce toxins in your system such as clean eating, drinking plenty of filtered water and sitting in an infrared sauna. But one of the easiest methods is to take bath with Epsom salts.
You can get them anywhere from the grocery store, to a high-end bath shop, to TJMaxx (one of my favorites). Some are scented with the most blissful aromas and others have no scent at all – the choice is yours.
Light a few candles, play soothing music and sink into the water for 10-15 minutes and let the Epsom salts relax you and pull out toxins.
There you go – your vibration has been elevated!
7. Enjoy Nature
Take a walk in a beautiful park, a trail in the woods or near the water and you’ll feel a shift within a short time. Connecting with nature has an incredible ability to lift your spirit and raise your vibration.
This is how you can tap into the idea that you are part of something much bigger than just yourself. Whatever your beliefs are about spirit, the Universe or God, nature helps you relax and feel connected to all there is nothing like else.
8. Sing or Chant
Most of the world’s religions and many spiritual practices rely on singing or chanting as part of prayer or ritual. This is another compelling way to tap into higher frequency energy.
If you are feeling low, singing something spiritual or even singing along with your favorite song can change everything. As a human, you are 75% water and scientifically we know sound travels faster in water.
So, when you combine your voice with music, you set all your cells to vibrate at a higher level. Singing is a well-known mood elevator and is often recommended in bereavement groups.
Go ahead and sing your heart out, even to karaoke and enjoy this fun way to raise your vibration.
The Spiritual Side to Dating
I’m a big believer in the spiritual side of dating. You want to make sure your inner world including beliefs and attitudes, are aligned with your outer world and your dating activities.
If you’re just swiping on the apps or sending messages online, but you haven’t done anything to raise your vibration, you’re missing out on half of what it takes to find love. When you’re serious about finding lasting love, it takes more than a few fun texts and a great first date.
You want to be a vibrational match to the man of your dreams, so when he sees you, he recognizes that you’re “The One”.
Have you tried using the Law of Attraction Love for manifesting love? The Law of Attraction is a Universal Principle that states “Like attracts like.” This works on an energetic perspective – the non-verbal messages you send out into the Universe and how your own energy resonates. You want to be a match to the energy of the man you dream of.
Sounds too woowoo for you? Surprisingly, this is no longer some “out there” philosophy, but has been scientifically proven by physicists! That’s what quantum physics is all about. They have recently proved that your feelings create energy or vibration and that attracts people and situations into your life.
Manifesting Love Through Your Inner Self
As your love and dating coach, I share these easy methods for manifesting love so you can find the right man as quickly as possible. It’s not enough to just swipe right or send messages online. You need to work on your inner self as well, not just the external dating activities.
For the Law of Attraction Love to work, you need to focus on raising your vibration to the level of your desire. In other words, if you want a lasting, loving relationship, you must believe you can have it and demonstrate loving behavior on your own.
This is how you embody the energy of love and raise your vibration to become an energetic match for the man you dream of and the love you deserve.
Below you’ll find three powerful methods for manifesting love and raising your vibration. I recommend using them all to ensure you raise your love vibe.
The key is to do them consistently. Frequent application will definitely elevate your vibration which is what makes the Law of Attraction Love work. That’s how you’ll be more attractive and magnetic to the love you want.
1. Write Your Affirmations
Anyone who talks about the Law of Attraction Love will encourage you to write your affirmations in a journal or notebook. You can also type them, but writing by hand works better. Listening to love songs or happy music while doing this will help you feel positive. That’s another way to raise your love vibration. to be even more magnetic.
Fill a page or write for 15 minutes, which ever feels best and do this every day. First thing in the morning is best for manifesting love (or anything) because it sets the tone for the day. If you miss a day, don’t worry, just start again and continue from there.
2. Develop a Song or Chant
I not only created affirmations, but I put them to music to manifest my husband. You can write your own music if you’re creative or rewrite lyrics to a popular song. I sang my affirmations all the time – in the shower, washing dishes, on my walk in the early morning (OK I stopped when people passed me by so I wouldn’t be embarrassed).
This is like having a personal song from the Ally McBeal TV show years ago. Ever see it? Its a very personal method for manifesting love which is why it really produces results.
My experience has been this works even better when moving your body. That’s why I sang while exercising to add another vibrational lift. With or without exercise, sing until your heart fills and your smile feels contagious. This works!
Create a vision board as a visual representation of your affirmation. It should illustrate how you’ll feel with the right man and what you’ll do together. Include words that describe him, how you’ll feel as well as photos. You can cut things out from magazines and also create them on your computer and print them out. A combination is good.
Avoid showing a man’s face because we don’t know who he’ll be. We don’t know what he looks like . Instead, use a silhouette of a man or lovers and also use the back of a man if you like.
Place your completed vision board somewhere you can see it often. The point is to visually stimulate the feelings to once again elevate your vibration. If you are a visual person, this works really well for manifesting love.
Of course there are many other ways to apply the Law of Attraction Love, but these are three powerful ones to get you started.
He flirted with you but never asked you out? My dating tips for women recommend enjoying the flirting, but not to take it seriously. This gal asked a man out who flirted with her and here’s what happened
Get Dating Tips for Women
“Dear Love & Dating Coach Ronnie,
I feel like such a fool. I have been talking with this guy at the gym. He trains when I am there and a couple of months ago we had our first chat, talking about how we both had kids. A few days later, he asked what my husband thought of me being at the gym a lot. I said I was a single mum which is why I thought he was keen on me.
As the weeks passed we’ve chatted a lot and he asked me questions about myself, job, life and what days I go to the gym. One day I disappeared talking to some friends and he came looking for me! Then, I wondered why he doesn’t ask for my phone number or ask me out? Maybe he thinks I am not into him?
I Asked Him Out!
This is why I’m hoping for some of your dating tips for women. Today, when I saw him in the gym, I casually suggested he come to see me where I work to have a drink some time. I was disappointed with his answer, as he says he isn’t drinking at the moment. Then we carried on talking in general.
I feel like such a fool that I asked him out. Even if he isn’t drinking, he could have still gone out with me. I really thought he liked me. He gave me so many signs like asking if I was single and going out of his way to say hello. Now I feel like a big fool and of course I will be seeing him every time I go to the gym.
Why Did He Show Interest?
I don’t understand why he was showing all the signs of liking me, but when it came down to arranging a date he turned me down. What your view is on this?
Thanks for your help and all your great dating tips for women,
Stuck at the Gym with Him”
Basic Dating Tips for Women
I understand how confusing and frustrating this kind of things is. He certainly did show all the signs, except the most important one – he never took the step to ask you out.
Taking matters into your own hands wasn’t such a bad idea. He seemed into you, so I totally get why you suggested a drink. Who knows why he didn’t offer an alternative. That makes me think he is seeing someone or doesn’t feel ready to date right now for whatever reason.
Nothing Wrong with Asking Once
You took a chance because he wasn’t making the move. Even though he said no, so what? No big deal. You have nothing to be embarrassed about! He’s the one who had been chasing you around the gym and then bowed out when the opportunity to see you was offered.
What to Do Next
You can stay away from him at the gym or change the time you workout. Another options is to continue talking to him if that’s still enjoyable. You know the score now – he’s not going to ask you out on a date. So, the choice is yours.
The best thing about what you did is that you only asked him once. Sometimes women continue to ask, never allowing the man to initiate and then complain about that later. This situation does give you some insight into what men go through asking women out doesn’t it? Rejection isn’t fun for anyone.
Don’t Be Hard on Yourself
I think you were brave. In the future, if a man starts flirting with you but two weeks go by and no dates, make yourself scarce. I’m not saying this will make him step up – but at least you won’t be building up hope that a man’s flirting actually means something.
My dating tips for women explain how the hardest part about an experience like this is understanding that a man can find you attractive and flirt with you, but still not want to date you. Sometimes the flirting is all he wanted to feel good about himself, boost his ego or pass the time. Flirting can be a lot of fun!
So if some guy flirts with you all the time, but never asks you out, don’t attach meaning to his interactions. You can still flirt with him, just don’t think it’s going to lead anywhere.
Can you call a guy or is that a bad idea?There are a number of dating questions like “Should I call him?” that women want answered and that’s what I’ll do in this post.
Should I Call Him?
You met this great guy at a friend’s party or some networking event and really hit it off big time. You exchanged numbers, but now three days have gone by and you haven’t heard from him. Honestly, you find this a bit surprising. So, the thought comes to mind rather naturally, should I call him?
This is question that women struggle with at every age and across the globe. What’s the best way to handle this situation where you felt a strong connection, yet nothing is happening? You may even think being a modern woman that there’s no big deal today about calling a man.
The women who wrote the book, The Rules had plenty to say on this topic. From a traditional standpoint, the authors are emphatically against making the call. They would say no way should you call a guy. Ever.
When Is It OK To Call Him?
Honestly I don’t advise calling men as a rule either. Women who do this tend to get very frustrated and feel like they are doing all the work in the relationship. And it’s true – they ARE. That’s the very reason I recommend NOT to call a guy.
Sometimes, you feel like if you don’t call, you are gong to totally burst or lose it somehow. OK then, if you must go ahead and call a guy ONCE. You can reach out and leave a fun flirty message, just don’t ask him why he hasn’t called. or that you were waiting for this call. You don’t want to look desperate and often initiating can make you appear that way. So whatever you say, keep it light and fun.
How A Man Gets Invested In You
What you REALLY need to know is how a man gets invested in you. To understand men, first you need to realize that much of dating is still based in our DNA and that is ancient. Dating behavior in men has not completely caught up to gender equality in many societies.
Things have improved is a bit in Scandinavian countries where gender equality has really taken hold. And in the USA for the under 30 crowd, gender roles are bit more balanced and progressive. But for men over 40, your best strategy is to go traditional and let the man lead.
The Chase Is Like the Hunt
Hearkening back to the hunter-gatherer period in human history, men hunted to feed their family and the tribe. This is in our DNA as evidenced by the fact that today men still have better long distance vision than women. This was so they could hunt well and bring home the meat for basic survival.
On the other hand, women have better peripheral vision to gather food and watch the children. So, these skill sets are not learned as much as coded into each of us. That’s why men like to pursue women. Since they don’t need to hunt for food to survive, they enjoy sports and pursuing women. And that is how a man gets invested in you.
Why You Don’t Want to Call
Let’s take a good look at how this works. Let’s say you call a guy because you haven’t heard from him after your first encounter. He sounds happy to hear from you which is great! You talk about getting together and he says he’ll get back to you with a date ad time. Perfect.
A week goes by and you haven’t heard from him again. You wonder, “Should I call him? I already called him once.” But what the heck, you decide to give it another shot. The good news is he’s happy to hear from you and sets up the date. After a fabulous date you are really excited. But time ticks by and again he hasn’t called. Now what?
This is now a pattern. You call him and he’s happy but he makes no move on his own. Is this a man seriously interested n you? NO WAY! He might respond when you call, but it’s all on your girlfriend. And that is NOT a good sign if you want lasting love.
Men Want to Win You Over
Once you set up a pattern, it’s next to impossible to change. So don’t even get started. Or promised yourself you won’t call more than once, ever. Then keep that promise no matter who you meet or how great he seems.
Going back to DNA, men want to pursue you and win you over. This is why I always say the chase is still alive. When you are not overly available, (i.e. not doing all the work, contacting him and setting up dates,), he gets invested in winning you over. You become a challenge and so he wants to see it through to win you over and claim you as his.
I know this is shockingly archaic, but that’s how it is over 40. men between 30 and 40 may vary, some being more traditional and some being more hip so that’s a tough age range. But over 40, they are still coming from this place.
Now that you understand what is going on, will you still call a guy? Or will you wait to see if he calls you? Because if a man doesn’t call you, you have to come to grips with the fact that he wasn’t that into you. Even if you had the strongest connection in the moment, and hot chemistry it just wasn’t enough.
He might not want a girlfriend, he might have a girlfriend, he might be too busy for a girlfriend or even to date you. Or any number of other reasons why he never picked up the phone and called to say hi or ask you out.
Learn to lean back as they say and allow him to be the man. Either he’ll want to be in touch, or he won’t. But you’ll never embarrass yourself by not calling him. If you want to learn more, you can read my post on the Ballroom Theory of Dating.
When Should I Call Him?
After you’ve had 6-8 dates within 6 weeks or so, then things change a bit and you can call once for every three calls he makes. This is just a guideline. You still want to give the man space.
Or you can “mirror” what he does. Certainly call back when he reaches out or texts. And you can take turns so after he calls and you talk or call back, you can reach out the next time. I still vote for less being better. Just don’t go over what he does because chances are he might easily get uncomfortable or worse, turned off.
What If He Just Stops Calling?
If a man you went on a few dates with stops calling, then he’s lost interest. Don’t take this to heart. He might not know what he wants, might not be ready for a relationship or might have decided the two of you are not a match. Better than investing months and finding out later.
Ghosting is common, but the truth is – this has always been the way. When I was dating to find love, most of the 30 men went on only one date with me and were never herd from again. That’s why you want to date more than one man at a time – to hedge your bets and keep dating until you find a man who sticks around.
If he likes me, why is he still online dating? Good question.
Having trouble understanding men and wondering why is he still on the dating website? Here’s how I answered this reader’s question about how men think and why they do this.
Help With Understanding Men and Dating
“Dear Love & Dating Coach Ronnie,
You give great advice and I’m hoping you can help. I met online and have been dating him for about a month. Things were great and I really like him – he has everything that’s on my list.
He is on the dating site frequently – multiple times a day. Sometimes, he’d be online after our dates or even while I was on my way to our date. Why is he still on the dating website?
When we were together, he was very sweet and totally into me. He listened, paid attention and was very affectionate to me. I couldn’t understand why if he likes me, is he still online dating?
I Flat Out Asked Him
He got defensive and gave excuses, saying it was way too early for this conversation. He told me we should head our separate ways and I haven’t heard from him since. I apologized and told him I wasn’t trying to force him into a relationship, just wanting to know what was going on.
It’s hard to stop thinking about him and only three days have passed since we’ve spoken. Maybe I ruined everything and I don’t know what to do? Please help. Some of your great dating advice for women would be so helpful right now.
Thanks so much,
Bummed in Brooklyn”
Talk about Exclusivity
While it seems like asking why is he still on the dating website is a reasonable question, to him it felt like you were asking about exclusivity. A month is a bit early for that. I recommend not talking about exclusivity until you’re ready to sleep with a man – I’m not sure if you had already done that.
This is a tough one because according to experts like Patti Stanger, The Millionaire Matchmaker from Bravo TV, she says never sleep with a guy until you’re exclusive. But, not every woman wants to wait or follow that rule.
I get why you just wanted to understand. You think,.”If he likes me, why is he still on the dating sites?” It’s a reasonable question to pop into your mind. This behavior would make any woman curious.
The Secret to Understanding Men
Knowing that he’s constantly trolling for women tells you something about him. It tells you he’s into variety and checking out all his options. There’s nothing wrong with that. But it demonstrates he’s not thinking about settling down any time soon. Observing a man’s behavior is the secret to understanding men.
You can’t just look at what a man says or how he acts while he’s with you. You have to consider him as a total package. When his words and actions don’t match or his behaviors don’t seem consistent, pay attention. That’s an important piece information about who he really is.
He’s Not Ready
As a love and dating coach, I can be more objective because my heart is not invested. So I know he’s not ready for exclusivity. He doesn’t want to settle down or doesn’t want a girlfriend.
As a woman, your task is to observe a man’s behavior to learn about him. You don’t even need to ask a direct question to learn about him. Can you see what I mean?
You wonder if you ruined things with this man by asking. Nope, not this guy. He was too quick to cut things off. Maybe with another man, asking about exclusivity too soon could scare him. That’s why it’s best to wait – you may need 8-12 dates and up to 2 months. Or you could bring this up before having sex, so you know for sure he’s not seeing others.
Expect Men to Be Dating Others
Most men want to keep their options open until they are ready to focus on one woman. This is absolutely normal. Just expect that men are dating other women no matter how much fun they are having with you. Until they talk about exclusivity, assume they are not.
Honestly, I recommend women do the same, since you don’t know which man will want to get serious. And you don’t know who your best match will be – that takes time to figure out.
How to Bring Up Exclusivity
If you want to ask if he’s dating others, wait till before you sleep with a guy. You don’t have to ask him directly. Instead, say how things are for you, “I don’t sleep with a man until we are in an exclusive relationship.” This is not a question, but a statement of fact. Some men won’t like this and won’t go for it. That’s OK because you found out you two didn’t want the same thing.
Another way to bring up exclusivity is to say, “So many guys are still contacting me online and I don’t know what to do about that.” It’s not a question, just a fact. See how he reacts to this problem you presented and keep quiet until he says something. This way you won’t have to wonder why is he still on the dating website.
His Reaction Tells You Everything
It will be pretty obvious if he’s not into taking the next step toward taking down profiles and becoming exclusive, because he’ll look away , stammer, or be evasive.
The advantage of both of these methods is that you let the man come to his own decision without pressure or requiring a direct answer (which feels highly pressurized to a man.)
Why Did You Closely Monitor Him?
There’s another way to look at this situation. As a dating coach I wonder why you were checking on him so closely? Why were you watching his every move online?
When you just start dating a new man, you don’t know if he’s “The One”. That takes time. He may seem like a great guy, but you have to get to know him. And while doing that, you might as well date other men because you never know if a guy will ask you out again.
Date Multiple Men
Dating more than one man at a time is a great way to hedge your bets, so you get to know enough men that you find a good match. Plenty of men won’t be right for you or ghost quickly.
Focusing on one man from the first date is a surefire way to end up heart broken and then have to recover from each disappointment. That’s not fun!
The next time you date a new guy, don’t stalk him online. Stop worrying why is he still on the dating website. Instead, think about who else YOU might date. Then when you decide to narrow the field and focus on one guy, and he seems worthy, you can bring up exclusivity.
There’s No Shortage of Men
Dating multiple men allows you to meet enough guys to know you are making a smart choice. The last thing you want is to stick with the first guy who asked you out because you think there might not be anyone better. There is no shortage of men, so don’t short change yourself by settling too quickly.
Follow these 7 simple steps to find the man of your dreams.
If dating alone is not working for you, then it’s time to learn how to manifest love. Sometimes when you focus on meeting men and going on dates without setting up the energy, you can end up struggling. That’s no fun! Let’s talk about how to get the Universe on your side and take advantage of the cosmic energy of love.
Understanding the Law of Attraction
I’m sure you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction, but just in case, it’s about how energy flows wherever your attention goes. In other words, what you think about most, is often what comes into your life.
This is a HUGE reason to be more conscious of your thoughts! If you are always thinking about how hard finding love is, that’s where your energy goes. Your subconscious mind is in charge of manifesting, so when it hears you talking about the struggle to find love, it thinks you enjoy that. Oh no!
That’s why you want to feel good and think positive thoughts. As you raise your vibration you become a match to what you desire. Harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction shifts you to a higher frequency.
In addition, it’s been said that the Universe abhors a vacuum, meaning when you focus on what you want and it’s not there yet, the Universe is compelled to fulfill your desire. How great is that!
Manifest Love: 7 Simple Steps
1) Know What You Want
Here’s how to manifest love. First you need to know what you want. Make your list of the qualities that define your dream man. Then think about the qualities of the relationship. How are you together? Is it fun, easy and supportive?
Last but not least, think about how you’ll FEEL once you ear in a relationship with your dream man. Getting clear helps you to easily focus on what you want. You might not get everything on your list, but knowing how you want to feel is far more effective than thinking you’ll know it when you see it.
2) Create Affirmations
Next you want to write out affirmations that support you finding your dream man and living happily ever after. Proper affirmations are positive statements that you speak aloud or write out or both, that are in language that is present tense. It also helps to add feelings to the affirmation.
Here are two examples: My dream man is looking for me right now and ready to find me for lasting love and I am so excited about this! Or; My dream man and I are about to meet, we recognize each other immediately and enjoy lasting love that is beyond blissful.
3) Feel Your Affirmations
Turns out it’s not quite enough to just say your affirmations. When it comes to how to manifest love, you also need to FEEL THEM. Take the time to really imagine this coming true. What would it be like to be in the arms of y our dream man? That would be more than feeling good – it would be AMAZING! Get excited and feel the wonder of that in your body too.
4) Become Aware of Your Thoughts
You need to be more conscious of what you spend your time thinking. No need to discuss whether or not dating is difficult. What matters is you don’t want to put your focus on that. Going there is natural, so expect you’ll think like that. But, when you notice you’re thinking dating is hard and feeling bummed, replace that with your affirmation.
The more time you spend thinking positive thoughts and feeling happy about your prospects, the more manifesting power you have. Thoughts and feelings are energy and all energy has a vibration. So, when you lift your vibration with happy thoughts, you are more magnetic to attract it!
Now you can better understand how to manifest love and why repeating your affirmations helps you do that. The more time you think about your dream man and your loving relationship, the happier you feel, the more attractive and magnetic you are!
5) How to Fight Fear & Doubt
It’s only natural that you won’t feel positive 100% of the time. Your brain has deep grooves from your old ways of thinking that dating is hard, you’ll never find the man and you’re tired of the struggle. So, doubt and fear will come up and does for everyone.
The best way to address that is to focus on your affirmations! Revisit Point #3. We already know that will make you happy.
In addition, do anything that makes you feel happy. That might be listening to music, taking a walk, enjoying a bubble bath, watching a funny movie or chic flick., eating a piece of chocolate, calling a girlfriend etc. Take great care of yourself during this process to keep yourself elevated.
6) Live Your Best Life
Now that the energy of how to manifest love has been set in place as you say your affirmations and feel happy, its time to live your life. Know that you have put your order into the Universe as mentioned at the start of this article, the Universe dislikes a vacuum. So, it’s just a matter of time before your order is fulfilled!
In the meantime, enjoy your life and live it the best you can. Act as if you know how to manifest love and are really good at it. Enjoy your favorite activities, get together with friends and meet lots of men. Laugh and feel good about yourself and your life.
7) Relax and Feel Grateful
This last step is the best one. RELAX about the process. When you know your dream man is your destiny because you’ve learned how to manifest love, everything can fall into place. Feeling grateful in advance is accepting the reality that love is YOURS.
Feeling relaxed, with an attitude of gratitude is the most attractive and magnetic way to move through your life. Nothing can make you more appealing to the kind of high-caliber man you want. This is the ideal way to separate yourself from most single women.
If you constantly fret about finding love and feel sure you’ll be alone the rest of your life, the energy of that belief system is a low vibration and unattractive? That’s still the Law of Attraction, but focusing on what you DON”T WANT. Manifesting works either. That’s why you want to be being highly conscious of your thoughts!
How to Manifest Love
So, there you have it! Seven simple steps on how to manifest love and the man you dream of. He’s out there. Why not spend time imagining that he’s on sabbatical somewhere but by the time he returns he’ll be ready to meet you. Now all you have to do is get ready and enjoy your life until he shows up!
If you want find out some other simple ways to raise your live vibe, listen to my free audio program here.
Let a man pursue you – that’s the #1 thing you can do get him invested in dating you. Follow his lead for the lasting loving relationship you dream of.
How Let a Man Be a Man
Right now I have an awesome single guy as a client. In his early 50’s, Rick has shared with me the ups and downs of his love life. He felt ready to date again, but wanted to avoid some of the painful mistakes he made in past relationships. I have been very excited to guide him on this journey as he’s a great catch.
His First Date
On his first date after starting with me, he was nervous and let the woman lead the conversation. She went down the unfortunate road of discussing past relationships and he followed her there. Then Rick noticed the energy between them diminished immediately following this conversation.
They talked about getting together again and his date said she’d let him know what was good. He told me he left the ball in her court. (Oh no – that’s a big dating mistake for a man!)
Who Should Lead the 1st Few Dates?
Let’s talk about who should lead on the first 4-8 dates. I explained to Rick about my “Ballroom Dancing Theory of Dating.” In ballroom dancing, there is only one leader – the man, and one follower – the woman. This strategy works best for the first 4-8 dates, (8 is better) depending on the couple, for so many reasons.
When you let a man pursue you and take the lead, you can observe what he’s willing do to win you over without your prompts. This is essential to discover his interest level. Does he take three weeks to call for a second date? Or does he ask you for a second date within three days? Obviously the quicker he gets in touch and asks you out, the greater interest he is showing. In this case, texting does NOT count- only his efforts to see you.
Don’t Take the Lead
As the woman, if you can’t handle waiting or think it’s unnecessary to let a man pursue you, you might call and asking when you can see him again. “Are you busy this weekend?” might slip out of your anxious lips. This is not a good dating strategy for women.
Can’t Take the DNA Out of Dating
Now that the genders achieved greater equality in the work place, women think its perfectly fine to initiate. You want to call and ask him out, be direct and say what’s on your mind or shoot the breeze. Unfortunately dating has not caught up with equality in business. Dating is still an archaic mating ritual based on biology. Sorry to say, you can’t take the DNA out of dating – not yet.
Men Want to Win
What does that mean about DNA? See a man has hunter instincts coded into his DNA. The hunter wants to win. He enjoys setting his sights on a woman and then doing what it takes to win her over. Dating you needs to be his idea. Once you are into the relationship (after 8 – 12 dates) then the chase is over and the communication can be more balanced. However, as the woman, if you don’t wait and try to take over pursuit, you can lose big time.
Instinctively, most men (over 40) know leading is their role in dating. They know they must pursue you to win you over. So, when you take over his role and chase him, it’s often a turn off. It destroys the sexual tension that otherwise builds between a man and a woman a can make you unattractive or push you into the friend zone.
When you chase him, he’ll no longer be guessing if you like him or not. There’s nothing to win and no reason strive for your attention when you serve yourself up on a silver platter. When you call or ask him out early on, you take all the challenge and mystery out of the process causing a man loses interest.
What Makes Him Pursue You?
That’s why you want to let a man pursue you, so he gets invested in winning you over! Making yourself too available by initiating contact or asking him out ruins the magic and eliminates the mystery. Instead of appearing independent and confident, you end up looking aggressive, needy or desperate! These are not traits men seek in a woman.
That’s why my steadfast dating advice is:
DON’T CALL OR ASK MEN OUT!
To make this even more clear, I want to share Rick’s email with me after we talked about the “Ballroom Dancing Theory of Dating”.
Rick totally understood why leaving the “ball in her court” a passive move that would get him no where. This was how he tried to ward off rejection. He thought by leaving the next move up to her, he could avoid hearing her possibly say, “No” to his next invitation.
Now, Rick Gets It!
I’ve been thinking a lot about the Ballroom Dance analogy and wow, that’s really powerful.
When I actually took Ballroom Dance lessons, I was really nervous and awkward at first and didn’t know what to do. Gradually, I became more confident. As my confidence grew and I had more lessons, this is what my instructor taught me.
My Job as the Man:
1) Lead – never, ever let the woman take the lead. Never. Ever. Period. This was drilled into me.
2) Make the woman feel that she is the center of attention and the most beautiful, graceful being on the planet.
3) Have a plan on the dance floor and know where you’re going – the woman usually can’t see where we are going because she’s facing backwards. It’s the man’s job to keep a woman out of trouble and on the right path in dancing.
4) Leave past mistakes are in the past. You can’t do anything about them. Focus on the here and now and the immediate future, to avoid more mistakes.
When I learned to put these concepts into place, my dance card was always full and I never sat down at a dance party. In fact, the Dance Studio I went to stopped charging me for coming to the dances because they wanted me to keep coming as I was an excellent dance partner.
So now, I’ll compare this with dating. I am a past dance master just getting back into dancing, but I’m talking about and thinking my past dance partners instead of dancing! I’m not leading or making the woman feel special, I don’t have a well defined plan, and I’m not letting go of past mistakes.
If I don’t get this under control, I’ll be sitting down for most of the dances (figuratively speaking) and ruin my dating chances to find a new partner. I know what to do and how to do it. Time to get off my duff and start leading again!”
Let a Man Pursue You!
You can only imagine how excited I was when I got this email from Rick! He had forgotten what his role was in dating AND dancing. Rick needed to step up to be the leader if he wants to find the right woman. He finally could see avoiding rejection was becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection. To find love, he’d better take charge.
This is why when you meet a guy who is too nice, he has usually forgotten he is the leader. And guess what, you find him unattractive! That’s why you must let a man be a man and take the lead. Let a man pursue you.
Promise You Won’t Take the Lead
Sit back and let a man pursue you. If he calls, call him back. When you have fun, tell him at the end of the date. Just don’t call him, ask when you can see him again for at least eight dates in a row.
Give yourself the chance to find out how much a man is interested in you and what he will do, on his own, to win you over. This is the best way to for understanding a man’s intention. Let a man be a man and do the work so the sexual tension builds and he gets invested in you for a lasting, loving relationship.
The dangers of dating a separated man are significant. Here are some dire situations to watch for when dating a man who is still married that so many women somehow overlook.
The Dangers of Dating a Separated Man
“Dear Ronnie, Love & Dating Coach for Women,
My intuition is telling me to walk away from my current romantic situation but there are other factors involved and I don’t want to make a mistake. I bumped into an old flame in June and he asked me out on a date. He is currently separated from his wife and has been for almost two years. We are both in our 50s.
I went out on three dates with him before he told me that he’d told his wife about us. Within a week, he informed me that she was texting him constantly and putting him under a lot of pressure and he was feeling guilty. On our 4th and 5th date he suddenly went very cold on me. The last date was an absolute nightmare.
Sorting Things Out with the Wife
He then informed me he was going to see his wife to ‘sort things out and move on one way or the other’ and he hoped I understood! I was fine with that but, heard nothing for a few days. I was a little anxious when he eventually texted me. He said things were really bad between then and then had loads to sort out.
I said I wasn’t happy with how things were going between us and suggested I give him some space which he agreed to. He said he would text me when ‘his head was sorted’. That was over a month ago. I’ve had a few texts since but, nothing to indicate that we are getting back together.
Did I Push Him Away?
I bumped into him recently – he was a little drunk and all over me. I admit to pushing him to make a few dates along the way but, have never texted or called him first. I’ve not always been available to meet him which he did not like.
I’m not sure if I’ve pushed him away or if it’s really his circumstances that are keeping away. I have pushed guys away in the past and have tried very hard this time to be more aware of my actions.
Should I walk away or wait a while before moving onto someone else. I guess this is one of the dangers of dating a separated man. I’d appreciate your advice.
Left Hanging in Hingam, MA”
Dating Someone Who Is Separated
First off, this situation is EXACTLY why I warn women about the dangers of dating a separated man. And why I encourage you to avoid men who have not been divorced for at least a year. (Same thing goes for women too.) Before you enter the next dating situation, be sure to ask the man how long he’s been divorced. If it’s less than 9 months to a year, walk away!
Why Do You Like Him?
There are a number of things you mentioned that puzzle me about this liaison. I wonder why you’re interested in dating this man after…
He went cold on you during two dates
The last date was a nightmare
He’s still clearly attached to his not yet ex wife
He rudely texted his not yet ex during your date
He stopped asking you out
He’s not emotionally available
Any of these are reasons are enough not to see him again! What is it about him that makes him worth compromising your sense of self-worth and your time or affection?
You Are Compartmentalizing
When certain parts of a man capture your attention and cause you to overlook unattractive characteristics, that’s how you KNOW you are compartmentalizing. What does that mean? In your mind, you separate the things you like about this man from the things you don’t like which you then ignore.
These traits are all PART OF THE SAME MAN. You cannot separate them! He is a package deal and you need to see him as a whole – the good and the bad. When you do, my bet is you’ll decide to move on quickly. No matter how cute, fun, intelligent, rich this man is, he is also emotionally unavailable, attached to his wife, and well…rude.
Read Between the Lines
When this man said to you he had to “sort things out,” that was ManSpeak for “I can’t see you any more”. You hung around wondering how long it would take. He said he hoped you would understand, but you missed his meaning. He was exiting the relationship. Next time a man says he ‘s got to sort stuff out, say GOODBYE because that’s exactly what he means.
All on His Terms
You said that perhaps you pushed him away by not being available when he wanted to see you. But you are allowed to be busy. On the other hand, you mentioned that you’ve pushed other men away and that’s worth looking at.
I encourage my clients to make themselves available when a man asks you out. I don’t mean cancel plans but, be sure to keep some open space in your calendar. If you can’t make a date, always suggest another time. In this case, it doesn’t sound at all like you pushed him away.
A Pawn in His Marital Drama Game
I can’t help but think he used you to make his wife jealous, one of the dangers of dating a separated man. Otherwise, why would he ever tell her about you? There’s only one reason – and that is JEALOUSY. I think he was hoping to get her back by dating you which is sort of a crummy thing to do all the way around.
Given everything I’ve explained in this post, I hope you see the wisdom and only real choice – move on to find a new man. You deserve better than dating a separated man and this kind of dysfunctional situation.
My Dating Coach Hopes for You
I hope you meet men who are divorced for more than a year and healed of the trauma. Consciously choose to date guys who are ready to date, are emotionally available, and seeking a serious relationship. The men you date should not text or talk on the phone during your date and show you far more respect and interest. Know you are worthy of a man’s full attention unless there is an emergency.
Wishing you love,
Want more insightful dating advice about not dating a separated man, not chasing men, and valuing yourself more? Download my free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes Women Make that Keep You Single and get my newsletter too.