Natalie Bacon went from lawyer to financial planner to online entrepreneur. She designed her dream life and her passion is to help others design theirs through personal development, financial intelligence, and online business. Natalie Bacon encourages women to make and save money and design a life they love. Her blog is the ultimate "modern girl's survival guide." Follow this blog..
Setting goals is all fine and dandy (and let’s be honest most people don’t do it), but that alone really isn’t enough.
The Problem: Focusing Too Much On Actions
The problem with setting goals alone (without more) is that you can end up taking too much action without shifting your thinking.
Let me explain…
When I’m coaching people, there’s no shortage of people having big dreams.
The problem is that they start to understand that they need to think about “being the person ahead of time” and creating their “future from their future” but then take action from who they are right now.
For example, a student will say “I want to make six figures from my business” and she’ll really mean it.
She’ll visualize and think about what it would be like to make six figures.
From here, she’ll focus too much on actions.
After visualizing, the student goes right back to playing small and trying to make time for her business. Her worries stem from trying to figure out what to do from where she is right now.
As a coach, it’s easy for me to see the problem.
Her desire for the result is clear but she doesn’t practice having thoughts and feelings that the person making six figures would have.
The person making six figures from her business isn’t “trying to find time to work on her business.” She’s IN LOVE with her business. She’s thinking about email marketing, overdelivering in value, and how to do better webinars.
This disconnect between desire and the end result that’s wanted is why results will either take longer or be nonexistent.
When you operate from the place of having whatever it is you want before it’s even there, the result will come.
If you don’t have new results within a couple weeks, you’re doing something wrong. DON’T keep doing the same thing and expect different results.
Actions are what create results so it feels really good to take action.
You know what feels even better than taking action? Getting the results you want.
Taking action from the person who you’ve always been, to get the results you have now, will NOT create new and different results.
The mental state that you have to be in to get those results is what you need to be thinking about.
The student wanting to make six figures in her business needs to practice the thoughts and feelings that a person would have who is already making six figures.
If you’re not clear on what thoughts and feelings you need to have, then seek out the people who are doing what you want to be doing.
There are enough people on the internet talking about the results that you want that you can see their mindset and how they’re thinking.
Don’t be a product of your environment, make your environment a product of you.
When I was talking with my life coach about something that wasn’t working, I asked him what he thought I should do next.
He said “I don’t know what you should do, but try something different. See what works.”
This is hilarious and important.
You can’t keep doing the same thing, just to keep working on your to-do list and expect new results.
When you look for the answer outside of yourself, say from another person, you’re not in the right mindset.
We’re not trained to look for the answer within ourselves, we’re taught to ask questions.
No one is truly certain on what to do next, but it always works when you try something new.
Try something new and create your “Being List.”
The Solution: Your “Being List”
A “Being List” is your list of thoughts and feelings you need in order to be the person you want to be and achieve the goal you’re working on.
The thoughts you think as the person who has the result you want are totally different than the thoughts you have now.
So, the goal is for you to create a Being List, where you write down your thoughts and feelings that you’d have as the person who has this result.
If you do this, you’ll realize how much more seriously you’ll take the area you’re trying to get results in.
I write down my thoughts every week that I want to focus on believing as if I had the results in my life that I want to create.
This happens BEFORE I make my to-do list.
Why? Because from a clean place where I’m thinking as if I’m the person who has those results, I feel and act very differently.
If I stayed thinking the same thoughts that got me to six figures, it doesn’t matter how much action I take, I won’t create seven figures. But if I’m believing I’m a seven figures business owner, then I’ll take completely different actions.
Being List Examples
Here are examples for business, health, and career…
1. Desired Result: Seven Figure Revenue In One Year
When you do things you’ve never done before, you’re going to be uncomfortable.
You don’t need to shy away from this feeling or make it mean something has gone wrong.
In fact, it means something has gone very right.
When you go after a goal, like designing your dream life, it means you’re creating something new and different.
Naturally, you’re going to be scared because your brain is wired for survival and doesn’t like when you do new and different things. It wants you to repeat more of the same from the past because it knows you’ll stay alive this way.
Know this about yourself. Plan for failure, rejection, and discomfort. A lot of it.
If it feels good, you’re doing it wrong.
When you get really good at experiencing negative emotion, without being afraid of it, you’ll be able to plan for “deliberate discomfort” and welcome growth with open arms.
Using this new concept of deliberate discomfort is the secret to achieving your biggest goals.
In this episode, I show you how to use deliberate discomfort to your advantage.
Here are more of my favorite resources for this episode:
8. End things intentionally (relationships, jobs, etc.)
Simplify your life by only keeping the things that are essential to you.
There will be seasons in your life where some things no longer fit, such as relationships or jobs, and when you leave them with intention, it feels much better than leaving them because you feel you have to.
To build the life you want, you have to trim the nonessentials so that you’re surrounded by things that light you up and serve a purpose in your life.
You have to leave room to focus on them.
Intentional living means valuing life so much that you decide how you want to live ahead of time.
If you love having money in the bank, but are afraid to deal with it, then it’s important for you to figure out money.
Money doesn’t have to be something you dread and it will serve you to get out of scarcity mindset sooner rather than later.
How you feel about your money is your relationship with it.
If you want new and different results with money, you have to change your thoughts and feelings about the money you have.
So, decide to change your relationship with having money starting now by deciding to change your thoughts about it.
When you open your bank account, how do you feel?
Identify this feeling and pinpoint what thought is making you feel this way.
Figure out what it is you want to feel and think about money.
If you want to love the money in your bank account, then you want to focus on a feeling of love.
You might come up with the following sentence that you believe generates the feeling of love for you: “I am so grateful for the money I have right now.”
Start rehearsing this new thought until it becomes a belief.
Start experiencing the feeling you want to feel when you log into your bank account.
Once you figure out money, your relationship with it becomes easy. It no longer has to be something you stress about, which will result in you bringing in more money and more importantly, holding on to it.
Bad things happen all the time. They always have and always will.
With every negative emotion you feel, there is a chance for growth.
Once you learn how to best handle experiencing a negative emotion, then it becomes easier for you to navigate your way through them.
Try to embrace having negative emotions instead of trying to suppress them.
What’s so bad about negative emotion? It’s not going to physically kill you.
When you understand this, you’ll be more available to feel.
When a friend is sad, you let them be sad and give them a shoulder to lean on.
Do this same thing for yourself.
You are allowed to experience negative emotions.
Fear, sadness, anxiousness, disappointment; these are all inevitable emotions that your daily life will bring because that is just the way the world works.
Emotions are just vibrations in your body.
Notice how the emotion feels, where it is, and practice watching the feeling instead of reacting, resisting, or avoiding it.
A positive way to deal with experiencing a negative emotion is to reframe your thinking by asking yourself supportive questions that lead to answers you want.
Ask yourself “how can this make me stronger, smarter, or better off in the future?”
When something goes wrong for me, I’m able to think about what kind of story it will make. When I went through a break up or when I didn’t pass the CFP for the first time, I knew that those moments would be great stories in my future.
By reframing your thinking when it comes to negative emotion, it can be come a helpful tool for growth and you’ll no longer be fearful of experiencing these kinds of emotion.
The truth about endings is that they are always going to happen.
Just like the seasons changing, you’re going to go through seasons of your life that end. The key is to accept that they happen (and are supposed to happen) and to not make them mean something has gone wrong.
When it comes time to leave something behind in your life, only you are going to know when that is. There is no right time to leave.
The more you say no to things that no longer serve you, the better off you will be. You will become more resilient when you don’t depend on things that can change. By allowing yourself to be happy when leaving something, you get to do what you want to do, when you want to do it.
The practice of leaving something when you’re happy becomes easier over time.
In this episode, I show you how to practice leaving when you’re happy. You’ll no longer be leaving jobs or relationships because they’re bad, but rather because they’ve served their purpose in your life and you’re ready for your next level.
Listen to this episode to hear how you can solve any problem you’re having.
Here are more of my favorite resources for this episode: