I’m Kate and recent graduate of Man Met Uni, currently living in Cheshire. We have twin baby girls and they were born 11th August 2016.This blog is about my life, motherhood, marriage and everything in between. It’ll feature my ups, downs and personal stuff about me.
So today I decided that I would share the story of how Josh proposed to me! I have been struggling with a bit of writer’s block recently so I thought this would be something worth sharing!
So although Josh and I hadn’t been together very long, we both knew we wanted to get married quickly. We planned on summer of 2015 and knew it took around a year to plan a wedding so once the summer came around I started to think about whether or not Josh would propose soon.
We were going on holiday with my family to Cornwall on the Saturday and Josh mentioned to me that he had a free day on the Thursday. We normally had our “date day” on Wednesdays and he suggested that we each plan one of the days. I chose Wednesday and Josh planned Thursday. Josh said we had to be up early the next morning so I stayed at his house.
I later learnt that Josh had planned a hot air balloon ride for early morning but due to bad weather it was cancelled! Instead, we went to Go Ape at Delamere Forest and had sooo much fun!
We then had a lovely picnic lunch with all of my favourite foods. Then we went for an evening walk around Tatton Park which was lovely!
After this, we headed to a lovely restaurant called Heddy’s in Wilmslow which had Middle Eastern cuisine. The meal was absolutely delicious and all the while I didn’t suspect a thing.
After this, Josh dropped me back at home to my flat which I shared with my friend Vicki. The flat was attached to the church that we all attended and when I got home Vicki was chatting to me for a bit about our day. She then asked me to help her take some boxes in to the church auditorium and I gladly said that I would. She orchestrated it so I walked in first and then shut the door behind me…
I was slightly confused but then I suddenly saw Josh standing there. Right then I knew what was happening and I started to cry.
He told me to sit down whilst on the massive screen a video he had made me played. It was clips of our highlights of the past year we had spent together and Josh talking (I won’t embarrass him and say what he said) all over “Tenerife Sea” Ed Sheeran which was our song (and later our first dance).
The video finished with the words
“A lot can happen in 9 months, let’s see what we can do with a life time”
Then Josh got down on one knee and asked me to marry him!
I later learnt that Josh had orchestrated the day so that it was filled with romantic things and I was supposed to think he was going to propose all day and then he was going to drop me home all confused. However, I had absolutely no thoughts that he was going to propose because for all I knew he had only planned the day a couple of days before!
When Josh and I first moved to Kernow we thought it was only right that we gave Poldark a go on Netflix. Well we love a good period drama (no not the type that involves getting a cup stuck ….) and Poldark did not disappoint! Part of Polark is filmed in Charlestown which is not too far from us – we go to church in St Austell and on the way home we decided to pop to Charlestown and have a picnic on the beach. The beach in Charlestown is really accessible and we parked on the street meaning that we didn’t have to pay for parking. We also went for a walk along the harbour which had pretty amazing views although I was terrified the girls would fall off!
You may notice that we go to Lanhydrock quite a lot! Being National Trust members it’s always great to have a cheap day out and Lanhydrock is our closest property. They have a pretty gorgeous bluebell wood that is stunning at this time of year and we headed there during the gorgeous weather last weekend!
One thing that really bothered me, though, was how trodden down some Bluebells were! People had clearly gone off the path to get the perfect Instagram photo but it just ruins it for everyone else!
Anyway, here are some photos of us in and amongst the gorgeous flowers! (On the paths haha)
I still remember the day I first learnt what feminism was. I was in my first week of my first year at uni, sat in a large lecture hall. “Hands up if you consider yourself to be a feminist” came the call from the lecturer. Only a few hands went up, not including mine (shout out to Callum if you’re reading this cos you did put your hand up!). The lecturer wasn’t surprised and went on to tell us the dictionary definition of feminism.
“The advocacy of women’s rights to create equality of the sexes”
She asked us again to put our hands up if we considered ourselves to be feminists and every single hand went up.
You see, up until this point I’d believed that feminism was all about thinking women were better than men. Women should rule, be in charge, take over. In my mind I was thinking “well I’m all for girl power but feminism isn’t for me”. So many people say that they agree with gender equality, but not feminism. They are the same. damn. thing. Feminism is about women, yes. But it’s about promoting women’s rights to create equality. Nothing more than that. For years women have been downtrodden. It’s an uncomfortable reality for people to face but it’s true. For years a woman wasn’t allowed to work, then she could work but only until she got married. Then after that she could work but only until she had children. Women used to be used as property to be bought and sold. Gradually we have progressed and society has evolved, we are starting to make real head way but there is still so much sexism that goes on in daily life and the sad fact is we barely even notice it. What’s more, many countries are nowhere near as progressive as us and girls all over the world are being pushed down and overlooked on a good day, objectified or raped on a bad day.
That’s not to say it’s all great for men. Awful stuff also happens to men every single day… but a pursuit of gender equality means that the stigma surrounding male rape, male domestic abuse victims and male suicide is shifting. So men and women both benefit from feminism and gender equality.
Of course, there are people who “give feminism a bad name” there are women out there who hate men and call themselves feminist. But the dictionary definition focuses on equality of the sexes, those people are not true feminists. Just like terrorists are not true Muslims and murderers of innocent school children are not true Christians.
With all that being said, what does feminism mean for me?
First of all, freedom. Being a stay at home mum, I once thought I was “un-feminist” but I have since realised that gender equality gives us the freedom to work or not. It also gives dads the opportunity to stay home if that’s what they want. Being a stay at home mum isn’t weak, it’s strong because it means I am prepared to sacrifice to do the best for my family. But feminism also means that more and more women who have amazing careers are able to go back to work thanks to maternity pay etc.
Secondly, feminism is opportunity. It means that there is a world of options open to my daughters regardless of their gender. I did a quick search for “girls toys” on toys r us. The first categories that came up were dolls, arts and crafts, beauty accessories and make believe toys featuring a picture of a microwave. Do you know what came up for boys? Building sets, action figures and LEARNING. Yes, that’s right, companies think beauty accessories are a higher priority for young girls than LEARNING. I don’t want my daughters to grow up thinking that their outward beauty is all they are which is why I actively try to compliment them on their intelligence, strength and bravery every single day rather than just how pretty they are. I want them to have the opportunity to play with toys that will challenge their mind and grow their skills. I personally don’t think there is any need to label toys “boys” or “girls”. I want my girls to have opportunity to play rugby, do ballet, play video games, programme computers, cook and so much more.
Finally I think for me feminism is about safety. We’ve all heard the stories; woman rejects man in a club and gets punched. Male domestic abuse victim is not taken seriously. These kind of stories show how dangerous life can be for men and women. Particularly women in other countries where laws aren’t so strict/ well enforced and women regularly get bought and sold or given away as property. Rape is a weapon of war. It’s not ok and it isn’t the type of world I want to live in. Once we start to see the sexes as equal it starts to become less ok to do these things.
As a Christian I believe we are all made equal by God. When Jesus was alive, he cared for women and treated them as human beings which is something that was seldom done in those days. He would have been seen as radical on his approach to women.
I want my girls to grow up with every opportunity that their male peers have. I want them to know that they can be strong and sensitive. They can be a stay at home mum or prime minister of the UK. Equally, if I ever have a son I wish the same for him. I want him to know it’s ok to cry and not like football.
Three years a go I wrote a blog post entitled ‘Why bother to blog‘ which was exactly that – my explanation as to why I blog and what it gives me.
Three years on, my blog has grown and changed with me as a person. I started my blog four years a go as I was in my first year of university, Josh and I weren’t even engaged yet and I wasn’t even thinking about children. My blog at that point was more about my faith and thoughts/musings I had surrounding my faith than anything else and I always got such a great response to it. As I journeyed in to marriage and motherhood my blog evolved in to more of an online diary, documenting the things I/we got up to and sharing my heart in the hopes that other people could relate. Of course a lot of it still comes back to my faith but it would be wrong to say that that is what this blog is all about now. A few months a go I received my first paid work for my blog and whilst its not like I’m fighting off offers currently, I’ll always be open to working with brands/ getting paid to do something that I already do (blogging).
I often think that blogs can seem a little self-indulgent to the outside world. Like it’s all about me and you guys need to read all about my life. The truth is I would still write my blog even if nobody else read it but that is part of the reason why I am reluctant to post my blogs on social media – in case people think I’m self-involved!
At the start of this year I had a goal to write at least two blog posts a week – by in large I have actually managed to stick to this goal and I have decided that it is time to start trying to promote it a bit more on my Instagram etc.!
I absolutely love writing, it is a real passion of mine. It’s funny because I absolutely hated English and school and college. Once the girls grow up my ultimate dream would be to have a career that involved writing, be that copywriting, social media content managing, blogging for work or journalism. I don’t know how those dreams are going to come to fruition but I do know that having this blog is going to help that a lot. Because if I go to an interview for a writing job I’m pretty sure they are going to want some evidence that I actually do write and am good at it!
I expect that over the coming years this blog will grow and evolve even more – there’s no way of knowing where it will go. I have read recently that blogging is on its way out because people don’t want to sit and read a blog post, they’d prefer something bitesize and quick to digest like an Instagram post of something passive like a YouTube video. This may be true, but even though I do have a YouTube channel and Instagram account my passion will always be my blog!
Hey everyone. You may have seen my other posts about my fitness journey which finally began back in January after I had my twins back in August 2016.
In my last post I spoke about how much I hated my body and seemed to be gaining an uncontrollable amount of weight and I didn’t really know why. I mentioned my implant and it’s effects so I thought I’d share how I’ve been feeling since then. My background with hormonal contraception is that I became sexually active when I got married July 2015 and prior to that I had been on the pill for about 6 months when I was 17 to control painful periods. I started on the patch (combined hormone) and moved on to the combined pill. I was unhappy on this pill and had bad mood swings so I decided to come off. I was planning on reassessing when one whoopsy led to me getting pregnant!
When the girls turned 6 weeks old I went on to the mini pill but as I was breastfeeding it was really only an insurance. When I stopped breastfeeding back in October 2017 I decided to get the implant after forgetting to take the pill one too many times! I thought it would be the same but I think the change in hormones stopping breastfeeding changed everything. From January I started noticing that I was gaining loads of weight so I started exercising and changed my eating habits. I also started bleeding continuously for weeks and was suffering with terrible headaches and nausea. I was so down and would cry often and couldn’t keep myself happy. I started hating my body and the way I looked.
Eventually I had the implant taken out and everything got so much better. My periods are back to normal, I have stopped gaining weight and the nausea and headaches have gone. My mood has also been a lot brighter. After this I have decided that hormonal contraception isn’t for me. We are now using condoms and whilst they can be a bit awkward at times it is so much better for us.
I just wanted to add a note about the ethical side of my decision to come off hormones. Basically after doing research I found that ALL types of hormonal contraception have the potential to end life. They work in 3 ways:
1. Stopping you ovulating
2. Making it difficult for sperm to reach any eggs that have slipped out
3. Stopping a fertilised egg implanting.
Number 3 was my issue. I believe life begins at conception and I don’t want to do anything to hurt life. It is a bit of a grey area as to whether this is ok in my mind – I know other people will think differently to me as it’s technically not you doing it. But as I’m not sure I just decided it’s best to avoid it rather than do something that has potential to be against my views. No judgement if you don’t believe what I do but I just thought I’d mention it.
Back to my fitness journey! Although I’ve stopped gaining weight I still wasn’t losing any and I was getting so down. I try so hard to be body positive but something had to give and I decided to make a change. As well as my Davina workouts I have started to run around 3 times a week. Due to the hills around where I live I haven’t managed to run more than 2.5 miles yet but cos of the hills it burns over 500 calories!
I have also begun tracking my calorie intake on my phone and have set a daily target. I’m not being obsessive with it but I just needed to gain back some control. Since tracking my calorie intake I have realised that I actually eat a lot more than I thought! It’s stopped me from eating bits of the girls’ food and picking at bits. Over the weekend I let myself eat whatever whilst still being mindful and during the week I’m back tracking my food. I’m hoping it will turn in to more of a lifestyle change and that I won’t be out of control eating!
Running is making me feel so much better too. I’ve always loved running but it’s so difficult around my area as there are no street lights. I also live down single track roads so it’s so hard and dangerous running… anyway. Now the evenings are lighter I’ve started getting our more and enjoying it. I’m getting faster, stronger and fitter and it feels great.
I struggle because I fully support body positivity and I want to celebrate my body for how it is. But I’m just not feeling good and I need to bring myself up!
Last week when Josh got home from work we headed to Looe to have a chippy tea. Looe is probably our closest seaside town and whilst the beach isn’t anything special (just a standard beach) it has some lovely shops etc. And was close by enough for us to go there when Josh finished work. It was a stunning day, really warm and sunny so we thought we’d make the most of it. Looe is normally pretty busy but as it was the evening it had quieted down on the beach quite a lot which meant we could let the girls run around and not worry too much.
We went to Catch which is on the quay side and I would highly recommend. The food was incredible. It was one of those evenings when I just felt so content and happy and so glad we have moved to such a beautiful part of the world.
This weekend it was beautifully sunny and we headed to Trerice near Newquay. When we first arrived there we had a picnic lunch – as we are trying to save money at the moment we always pack a picnic! It’s so expensive eating out and it’s just not something we can afford right now.
As we have National Trust memberships it’s effectively free for us to go to Trerice which is great.
After our lunch we went for a wander round the gardens. We really enjoyed playing the lawn games which they had there and the girls enjoyed rolling around on the grass for some reason!
There was a room in which you could try on some traditional clothing which, to be honest, I think I enjoyed more than the girls! You could also do some craft activities but the girls were a bit too young for that.
We then wandered around the house which was lovely. The girls were allowed to hold a big sword which was a bit scary!