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Judith Ricquel by Judith Ricquel - 8M ago

28 Life Lessons In 28 Years

Since I recently had a birthday, I began to think of all the life lessons I have learned thus far, and since life is a journey I thought I would share them with you all.  Hope you enjoy!

 

Faith is a journey

Your faith will be tried and tested, but  don’t give up, keep pushing.

 

Never say never

Keep an open mind about things, you will never know that the world has to offer if you don’t take a look.

Protect your heart

There are things that are going to happen that will try to make your heart turn cold. Protect your ability to love with everything you have. It is your greatest asset.

 

Be compassionate.

Don’t forget that even though you may be going through somethings, you must still be kind to others.

 

Get over yourself 

Life does not revolve around you. You’re not the only one going through things, stop playing the victim.

 

Learn to ignore people.

You don’t have to take everything everyone says or does to heart. Not everything or everyone deserves your attention.

 

Pressure (don’t put too much on yourself).

You think to hard, stop that. You’re brilliant.

 

Find at least one thing that makes you happy, and do that.

Life is too serious to be so serious girl. Be happy do what makes you happy.

 

One day you will find the right eyebrow pencil and it will change your life.

It will literally be LIFE CHANGING! And you will never go back to the way your use to do your brows!

 

Grow your eyebrows!

You don’t need to look angry all the time. It’s not a good look for you. 

 

Don’t believe what other people say about you

They are just jealous, even though it might not seem like it, trust me they are.

 

Pick your friends wisely

Not everyone that smiles at your is your friend. You don’t need a whole bunch of friends either to be happy.

 

 Don’t be shy

Take advantage of opportunities! You are talented for a reason

 

Believe in yourself ( sometimes you will be the only one)

Believe what’s in your heart baby girl, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone but you.

 

Think before you speak

Don’t speak out of anger, learn to control that.

 

Stop trying to impress people

There is nothing wrong with being completely and utterly you, and whoever doesn’t like that can kick rocks! Find peace in being yourself.

 

Blend your foundation to your neck, girl!

Look, it takes about 5 seconds to bring that foundation brush a little lower. I’m just saying.

 

Social media is not real life.

Don’t feel bad because you see people online that seem like they have it all. They don’t

 

You can do it.

The only thing holding you back is you. Not inadequacy

 

Be patient.

Learn about delayed gratification. Good things sometimes take time.

 

You wont get ahead sitting on your behind.

Stop being lazy!

 

Learn to let things go.

Don’t keep going over things over and over in your head. It already happened, nothing you can do to change it, move on.

 

Don’t over think.

When you think to hard you’re making it harder on yourself.

 

Take risk.

That comfort zone is not where it’s at! It’s ok you can do it!

 

Choose to be happy

Happiness isn’t momentary, you have to choose to be happy all on your own.

 

 Take time for you.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Read a book, take a long shower, go to bed early!

 

Make time for others

Don’t be so self absorbed that you forget about the people around you

 

Leave the past there.

If you want to get ahead, you can’t take the past with you…

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Judith Ricquel by Judith Ricquel - 9M ago

Forgiveness is one of the most important lessons any human being will ever learn in their lifetime, and simultaneously one of the hardest things any human being will ever have to do. As many times as I have heard why is it is so important to forgive many have failed to mention that forgiveness is actually an art.

An art that requires finesse.

Forgiveness is tricky because it is somewhat of an illusion. For example, if I were to ask you what is the first step in forgiving someone who has done you wrong your answer might be: “After an apology.” However, what if I told you that the first place forgiveness begins and the last place that it ends is with you?

Most people believe that forgiveness is to release a person from guilt or a show of mercy, but, the truth is forgiveness is never actually for the other person, it is for you. Holding in unforgiveness is just the same as giving someone else the power to be in control of your life. You now allow that person to not only keep you in that exact same moment you were hurt or wronged, but also to base the rest of your life from that moment as well. In other words, the lack to forgive causes you to become a prisoner to a moment.

I am sure you are all well aware of the “Cornerstore Caroline” situation where a woman, Taressa Klien, racially profiled a black 9 year old boy, Jeramiah Harvey, and wrongfully accused him of sexual assault. Although Taresa Klien has since apologized after the incident, what stood out to me the most was not what the woman had done but in fact how the boy responded. When asked if he would accept her apology, Jeramiah Harvey replied, “I do not forgive this woman, she needs help,” and immediately my heart broke because just like that Jeramiah Harvey left his mark in the world.

I came to find that the fist step in forgiveness is not actually the apology itself but rather a self-evaluation. Now, I know what you are thinking, and trust me, there was no one more shooketh than I upon finding this out for myself. But, I have found that one of the reasons why forgiveness is so hard is that often times we are so ingulfed in the way that we feel that we lose sight of everything else. Anger, hurt, pride, fear or disappointment are all things that are going to try to convince you that is it impossible to move forward but evaluating what you feel, and why, rids your emotions of having any chance of clouding your judgement and being able to deal with the situation properly.

For me the part that bothered me the most was questioning, “Why would they do that me?” It was exhausting going back and forth trying to make sense of everything in my mind. So instead of wondering, I took it upon myself to put myself in the other person’s shoes. There is a reason behind every action a person makes and everyone has a story and a past themselves. Now this a not permission to allow others to treat you however they see fit, but, for me the only way that I could not torture myself, and essentially just become more and more angry about the situation, was to completely take myself out of the middle and become selfless.

By taking myself out of the middle I was able to not only better understand that person and the reasons behind their actions, but I was then able to come to one of three conclusions:

  1. That person acted out of past situations that they themselves have been through. I can forgive them, help them and move forward in life with them.
  2. That person acted out of past situations that they themselves have been through. I can forgive them, but not move forward in life with them.
  3. That person was never equipped to fulfill the role that I gave them in the first place. I can understand for that person, and depending on the situation, either choose to move forward with or without them.

There are times in life we expect so much out of each other that we don’t realize when the weight that we have put on that person is too much. A parent who maybe could not give their child everything they may have wanted but did the best that they could, a friend who was going through personal things at home and was not able to fully be there the way that a friend should be or maybe a person who was looking for a stability who got into a relationship with someone who wasn’t exactly looking for the same thing. (Remember when I told you that forgiveness is tricky?)

Harboring a grudge or resentment when you’ve been wronged is one of the easiest things in the world, that is why forgiving is something that literally takes everything you have inside of you to do. It takes a great amount of strength to be able to show compassion even when it is not deserved, or to forgive someone who isn’t even sorry.

Forgiveness is so much more than an apology, and many do not realize how much holding in unforgiveness will actually hold you back in life. By forgiving we grow; we learn maturity, humility, how to be in control of our emotions and essentially be in control of our lives. People are imperfect beings and there will always be a moment to take offence, but, whenever the opportunity presents itself, just think about the person who you are right now and the person that you want to become.

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Judith Ricquel by Judith Ricquel - 10M ago

Life can sometimes  be a sucker punch right to the gut.

The kind that knocks the wind right out of you and leaves you gasping for air on the verge of tears. There is no manual handed to you explaining how to get through life, and sometimes life well…  happens. And it happens to the best of us. Just when you think that you and life have finally found a way to live in harmonious bliss … wham!

There goes that sucker punch.

In my 28 years of existence the one thing that I have learned is that the only way to conquer life is to punch back.

Image provided by Google

More than 100 miles under the earths surface;

Under 725,000 pounds of pressure;

In about 2,000 degree temperatures;

A diamond is made.

Life isn’t defined by how well one has handled the easy times they have faced but rather how they have prevailed even despite having every odd against them. Your hardest times often lead to your greatest moments…. If you don’t give up. The thing about diamonds is that they are the strongest and one of the most beautiful natural substances on this earth, but yet they are made under the most harshest of circumstances. Think about it, no success story, no matter how great or minuscule,  is without its share of hardship.

Pressure does not have to mean that you are failing; it just might mean that you are in a process of being turned into a diamond. But just like a diamond when the pressure presents itself don’t crumble, only hollow rocks with no substance crumble. Come right back to the top stronger, wiser and far more superior than before. And even if life tries to throw you the most unexpected and shadiest of sucker punches, don’t forget to punch back!

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Everyone wants super smooth perfect legs, but lets be honest, sometimes it’s not that easy to achieve.

Strawberry skin is when tiny little dots appear on the skin that resemble the tiny seeds on a strawberry. We all hate them, and we all want to get rid of them, so I am here to show you how!

Lets Start With The Main Causes:

Sometimes the little black dots are actually Enlarged Pores. Enlarged pores are caused by an excess of oil in the pores. Too much oil can not only clog your pores but also trap in bacteria and dead skin. The darkening of these enlarged pores happen when pores and air meet causing the skin to oxidize and turn black.

Speaking of Bacteria, be sure to change your razor at least once every 2 weeks. Bacteria can not only irritate the hair follicles but can also be a major aid in causing Ingrown hairs.  Also many forget that shaving is also a form of exfoliation  which can cause Dryness of the skin. It is so important to moisturize thoroughly after each shave

Pro Tips:
  • Make sure to change your razor regularly
  • Do not just shave with regular soap. Most of the ingredients in soap irritate the skin when added with shaving
  • Invest in a good razor, dull razor not only increase the chances of ingrown hair but also increase the chances of cutting the skin
  • Use Olive to shave! Not only is olive oil a cheap alternative to shaving cream, it is so gentle on the skin and has so many vitamins and minerals that your skin will love you for!
Quick And Easy Remedies For Smooth Legs:
  • Witch Hazel, Cucumber, Rose water 

Crush the cucumber and mix in the witch hazel and rose water into a paste. Apply to legs for 15-20 and rinse off.

Witch hazel not only aids in soothing irritation but it also works as an astringent which means say “bye bye” to those large pores!

  • Tea tree oil, Sweet almond oil, and Avocado

Mashed up avocado in a bowl, add 2 drops of teal tree oil, and 1 teaspoon of sweet almond oil. Apply to skin for 20 min and rinse off.

The fatty acids in sweet almond oil help retain skins natural moister and the vitamin E and A give that extra kick of protection! Also tea tree oil has amazing antimicrobial and anti inflammatory properties!

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This is one of those things that everyone deals with but no one ever really talks about. There is not one person on this earth that has not dealt with rejection in one form or another. So why is such a prevalent issue, and the main cause to so many other issues, just being swept under the rug or accepted as a normal part of life?

Because rejection is like a parasite; its main goal is to live inside of you and thrive on your detriment while it uses everything you have in you to fuel its life cycle.

Everything that has ever been created was created with a purpose, or a reason for being here, it is the drive that keeps us going. Rejections only goal is to take away that drive so that you loose your sense self worth, then eventually your sense of purpose, and inevitably lead you to lose your feeling of “having a reason for being here.” How many times have you or someone you may know have said, ” No one ever picks me” or ” I’m not gonna even try because I know I wont make it anyway,” and before you know it you have spent your life living out those exact same words: Never being picked, and never trying or accomplishing anything.

Many do not realize that the greatest damage rejection causes is usually self-inflicted. That is why this is something that is so hard to deal with because it is never easy to confront yourself. No matter the cause of rejection it is something that the only person that can overcome it is you. A lot of people try to deal with rejection with a new relationship, a change of environment or physical changes because they believe that the answers can be found in something tangible and they fail to realize where the change must first occur.

If someone spent a week without showering, and then takes a $500 bottle of perfume and sprays their entire body and dirty clothes with that perfume, not only will that not make them clean, but they might just end up smelling worse than they did before regardless of how expensive the perfume was. The truth is that masking a problem, in any way, only fuels it.

To be continued..

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Now comes the hard part; dealing with those feelings of rejection.

Everyone has their own personal experiences, and deal with those experiences differently, but it is important to keep in mind that what ever feelings those experiences may bring, although they are very real, are also fleeting and subject to change, and the only person that is truly in control of your feelings is you.

For me dealing with rejection was coming to terms with the fact that I was so full of negativity, self pity, unhealthy emotions and bad habits and I knew I could not continue to nurture those things if I wanted to progress in life. And there were three major things in my life that I had to deal with in order to overcome rejection.

So I turned to God.

I let go of every unnecessary distraction and it became about just me and Him. I took my bible and filled myself with new things. You can only attract what you project, or what is inside of you and I realized that the more filled I became the less of an affect rejection could have on me because I no longer had room for it. Reading the bible helped me to remind myself of who I am and how God made me. (Some may use self help books, quotes, affirmations etc, but this is what has, and continues, to help me) The more I did this the more my focus began to change, and certain issues that once seemed “world ending” to me all of a sudden became minuscule.

This brought on a whole new realization of other things that needed change in my life. For example; the way that I thought about myself.

No matter who you are, your life will always be a mirror of your thoughts. There is no way one can expect to live out a rich life with a poor mentality. I thought so poorly of myself and I was so use to thinking that ” no one likes me” or “I’m not good enough anyway” and I had to change that. I had to make sure that my thoughts matched all the other effort that I was making. I changed my mindset and I stopped expecting to be rejected. How could I expect others to accept me if I did not even accept myself?

Speaking of people;

I was a “people pleaser.” I wanted so badly to be liked that I did not care what that persons intentions was for being in my life, as long as they were there. Yes, I have made some poor decisions for the sake of attention, and I payed for those decisions also, and I was only left feeling completely backed up in a corner. I use to think that I had to accept however someone treated me so that I could keep them happy, even though their presence added no value what so ever to my life. It was mentally and physically exhausting! Everyone else had control over my life, except me, and the only person that I had to blame for that was me. I learned the hard way the importance of the people you chose to surround yourself with.

Everyone in life is on a path. When your path is destined for greatness people who purposely try and bring you down, or are only there for their own gain, are road blocks on that path. The longer that they are around the bigger and harder those road blocks become. It is so important to surround your self with people that not only are on their own paths of greatness, but help you on your own path. They are going to be the ones that when you need it the most, will uplift you and push you to be the best version of yourself.

I use to think that feeling rejected was something that was based on other people, that they had to stop rejecting me so I would not feel rejected anymore. The only thing that accomplished was I had placed the heavy burden of loving myself in the hands of others. I had to realize that what defined me was not how I was seen in the eyes of other people but how I saw myself.

Rejection will come in many different forms in various times of your life, but people only fear what they do not understand. You should never let someone’s incapability to understand your greatness be a testament of who you are.

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Judith Ricquel by Judith Ricquel - 10M ago

It’s funny how you don’t have to wonder what people think of you anymore these days, unwanted opinions are given out freely unsparingly.

Yes, many have never mastered the art of staying in their own lane, but yet have 3 P.H.D.s in sticking their noses were it does not belong.

There are so many that feel as though they can live your own life better than you can and I’m sure they all know them well; the one who are so quick to say:

“I think you should;”

“If you ask me;”

“Well, if it was me I would;”

No matter how sure you are of yourself, or what you are doing, those opinions can be jolting and bring in waves of insecurities along with them.  As if fighting the voices of self-doubt in your own head was not enough, how about we just throw in a “nay-sayer” or two just too add excitement.

So how do you deal with the unwanted opinion of others? Stay focused on what captured your focused in the first place.

If you listened to the opinion of every person whenever they gave it, by the time you were finished with what you had set out to do it would be completely different than what you first envisioned. And you may be left with a sense of being left unfulfilled.

Don’t get me wrong there are times when it is vital to heed the advice of others. Maybe they have more experience in certain areas, or can see certain things that you cant. But when what they have to say adds no substance or value to what you know deep down in your gut is the path you should take, the moves you should make or the person you should become, do not lose focus.

Often times it can be especially hard when you are the one standing in your own way, and that is when you will need bravery and determination. Take the first step, and the step after, and the next one until finally until no one can stop you, not even yourself.

Sometimes the opinions of others, and even yourself, can hit hard. But you have to hit back even harder. Surround yourself with a good support system, it doesn’t matter how big or small, and encourage yourself on a daily basis. Become your biggest cheerleader so that no matter how loud those doubting voices may be, yours will be even louder.

Your dreams are your dreams for a reason. If you weren’t the one who was meant to guard, protect and see that dream through, it wouldn’t be your dream anymore, it would be everyone else’s.

Believe in yourself, find people who support you and trust their advice and leave the “nee-sayers” in their own little land of always having something to say but never really being able to accomplish anything.

 

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IT’S D.I.Y TIME!

OH Blueberry, OH Blueberry, Oh how I love you Blueberry!

This weeks D.I.Y will have you feeling a little blue but totally in a good way! 

Blueberries are so good for your skin it’s insane! With arguably more antioxidants than green tea (yes you read that right) blueberries have some superior anti aging properties. They are also packed with Vitamin A, Vitamin C and Vitamin E , so I guess who needs Botox when eating blueberries regularly will give you younger more youthful looking skin, am I right?

And as if they didn’t already bring enough to the table blueberries also aid in controlling hormones so ladies say adios to those period induced acne!

(Yes, I know, I too was left shooketh after discovering this… )

Ready to get started? Here is what you will need:
  • 1/4 cup of blueberries, or 2 teaspoons of blueberry powder
  • 2 teaspoon of turmeric (less if you have fair skin)
  • 2 table spoons of the milk of your choice
  • 3 teaspoons of honey

Mash up blueberries (or add the 2 teaspoons of blueberry powder) then add the rest of the ingredients and mix into a paste. Apply to skin and rinse off with lukewarm water after 20-30 minutes

All these ingredients can also be made into a smoothie so you can also get the benefits from the inside out!

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I love how so many Christians forget to tell you that this walk of faith is sometimes less like a walk and more like the Hardrock 100-mile Endurance Run.

Don’t get me wrong, I love God with all my heart and soul, but recently I went through a period where I found that my faith was really being tested.

The thing is that my faith means everything to me and I feel like I am nothing without it. It’s what gives me purpose, hope and is basically my reason to live. So I am sure you can imagine how the fact that I found myself struggling with my faith was something that shook me.

I felt as if I was fighting a battle. Wait, no, I felt as if I had lost the battle.

At that particular moment in my life I had wished that I actually was fighting, because that would mean that I had something left in me, but I didn’t. I had absolutely nothing left. It seems like no one ever tells you about these times, when no matter how much you know of how faithful God is, you look around and think or feel as if maybe you aren’t worthy enough for Him to do another thing for you.

The reason why I wanted to share this and rebel from the, “Look how perfect my life is,”  side of social media is because everyone has had this moment (or moments) in their life. No matter how strong I knew I was, I broke. Or at least I thought I did because I am not writing this to you all still broken, I am writing from the other side.

I am a firm believer in never letting situations or circumstances define or get the best of you, but lo and behold, I too am human. I bleed.

I looked at everything that was going on around me and I caved. I gave in to the pressure and I did the one thing that I loathe the most. I felt sorry for myself. I thought “Where is God? Can’t He see what I am going through?”

Of course He saw.

One thing I had realized in those times where I felt as if I had hit rock bottom  and felt like I needed someone or something to depend on was that everything in that moment was really depending on me. My next thought, my next move the next thing that I was going to say.

I use to think that patience meant that I had to tolerate and keep my cool during a situation or whatever it was a that I needed patience for. It wasn’t until I heard from a very wise woman (my momma) that patience is not tolerating but rather keeping the same attitude you started with on your journey until the end no matter what presents itself in the middle. I had made the mistake of letting what was happening around me move me, I had let the attitude I had when things were fine slip away now that, in my eyes, things were not so great. I couldn’t see how God was working because I was too busy focusing on the problems that I did have that I did not take time to look around and thank Him for the all the problems I didn’t have.

You see I almost lost my faith because I let myself get distracted. The reason why I questioned if God was there for me was because my focus was everywhere else except on Him. So there was no way I could know where He was in my life because, the fact is, I wasn’t looking.

No one in this life is exempt from the hard times. Jesus even said it, “In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.” So if I know that the hard times will come it should not be something that rattles me. My focus should be on that second part; My God has already overcome anything this world will try and throw at me.

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Danger

When I was about 5 years old, I was carrying a glass to the kitchen, when all of a sudden I slipped and fell, glass still in hand (literally). I got up immediately and my first thought was how much trouble I was going to be in because I just broke a glass. Of course that’s the most logical thought a person should have who just fell on top of glass, right? As I am looking at all the broken glass on the floor, I realize that a certian pile of glass is covered in blood. My attention finally shifts away from the broken glass and on to myself and I see that my jeans are also covered in blood but I see no cuts. Then, I finally see it.. 
I looked at my right hand I saw that I had literally no palm. I am now staring directly at the bones of my tiny little hand in a pool of blood and peices of that same stupid glass sticking out of them. I stare at my hand, or what was left of it, for a few seconds more trying to process what had just happened and realize that now is probably a good time for me to call my mom. Never the one to miss out on an opportunity to make a grand entrance, I then start crying and run to her with my hand behind my back. Naturally when I show her my hand she screams, starts crying also and calls the ambulance. When I arrived at the hospital and unwrapped my hand to show the doctor, he too had a similar reaction. A specialist had to be flown in to operate on my hand because Doc wasn’t really up to it.

A 9 hour reconstructive surgery, a two week stay in the hospital during Christmas, a cast from my armpits down to my waist, and a case of chicken pox later, my hand is perfectly fine and normal. I still don’t have much of a liking for glass cups though. 

My battle scar

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