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Ok. So, none of these things have legs, but they all do have one thing in common - they are all new products in the development stage!

THE BOWL

Viking kisses, baby faces, and manscapes all require some shaving at some point. Our love for all things tried and true has led us to create a custom shaving bowl that will accommodate 3 oz. of a shaving soap that complements our beard oil and balm. It shall be named Ursa Shave Soap; original, eh? But what you are looking at is not a finished product. You see, Ruthie still needs to polish that bad boy to a shine, fill it with a hi-lathering and moisturizing soap scented with cedarwood, bergamot, & oakmoss essential oils, then reproduce in small batches.

Our initial casting of our bowl resulted in trapping a worried Asian cartoon character. If you can't see it, drink more, squint, and close your left eye after spinning around 3 times counterclockwise.

THE CANDLE

Our first concoction was 6 ounces and out of desperation was poured into a mason jar for testing purposes. Its wick was a sliver of cherry wood that crackled while it burned, and burned for over 40 bloody hours!!!! We chose to keep it unscented for this reason - we don't want to use any fragrance oil in any of our products and burning essential oils is actually toxic. However, this is not a candle sans scent. The beeswax lends its warm distinctive scent and the burning cherry wood wick adds a subtle campfire scent. The combo equals warm ambiance and summer nights all in one. 

Mass production will start on the 12 oz. candle dubbed SIMPLICITY once Ruthie figures out the damn container for the candle.

THE SOLID PERFUME

Wait. What? Yes, a solid perfume. It's easy to carry in your purse or on your person. It's contained in an oversized balm tube with a massive capacity of 0.5 oz. Since we have just added 10 more essential oils to our collection; making a total of 43 essential oils to custom blend with, we chose to utilize Lime, Rose Absolute, and Vetiver as our first experiment. It's calming, warming, and sensual. Most importantly it is not a BAM! In your face - did she shower in that shit? potency and doesn't leave your skin feeling greasy. We have yet to decide what direction to take this or what to call it, but it is getting lots of use by Ruthie!

 

Not really sure what the bowl, candle, & solid perfume did after they entered the bar but we can say Ruthie is keeping busy! 

As a matter of fact, you can find her.....

  • Roller skating with a gang of badass roller derby gals at the  "Roll Out For Epilepsy" in Markham, IL, on November 18, 2017, 4:30-7:30pm
  • At the "Lighting Of The Square" in Mixin Mingle, Woodstock, IL, on November 24, 2017, 5-9pm
  • Celebrating Small Businesses at Leather's 4 U in Antioch, IL, on November 25, 2017, 10am-5pm
  • At the Lambs Farm Holiday Lights Gift & Craft Fair at Arlington Race Course (first floor in the back as usual - It's like all venues instinctively shove Ruthie in the back like the obnoxious family members at a wedding), Arlington Heights, IL, November 30 - December 3, 2017. Hours vary; please click on link for more information.
 Awe shite! Did you find a typo or 2 and a major faux pas regarding grammar? Good for you. Feel free to snicker to yourself. I ain't no English major and I tried my bestest. Smooches!!!
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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 9M ago

    Picture this....

    A sweet grandma pushing her 2 minuscule sized fur babies and a very unhappy cat in a stroller through the Nettelhorst French Market in Boystown, Chicago. She looks like she stepped out of a Land's End catalog in her white cropped pants embroidered with palm trees, a very breezy pastel collared shirt, and her feet adorned with loafers. Her rounded plump shoulders were draped with a white shawl. Her hair was recently set, however, she failed to fix the bedhead bald spot before she left the house that day and her nails were meticulously french manicured (how fitting). She looked something like this...

    *This is not the grandma I saw, but a visual likeness.

    I had time to observe this woman in detail, for none of the boys of Boystown have awoken from their beauty sleep and I needed some distraction from boredom. Then I witnessed one of her fur babies jump ship, make a run for it, ESCAPE (maybe this was a foreshadowing moment). Too bad its leash was tied to the stroller and thus the distracted and unobservant grandma began dragging her beloved miniscule fur baby through the market. The dog kept silent - maybe in hopes grandma wouldn't notice and the dragging would eventually break the stroller's grip on its leash finally making escape possible. 

    Unknowing of the dog's plight, I stepped in and foiled its plan (so sorry pup, if only I had known). This is how the conversation exchange went:

    Me: "Oh no! Ma'am, one of your dogs bailed!!"

    Sweet Grandma: Not surprised and calmly says with a smile, "You mean jumped ship."

    Me: I giggled and agreed.

    Sweet Grandma then bends at the hips (you know, like those painted garden signs in the front of some small ranch house built in the 50's that is probably white with green awnings over the windows) to "rescue" her beloved prisoner. Her white shawl slips off her arms to reveal a shocking surprise....She is bloody tatted from wrist to elbow on both arms!!! Like a fucking sailor! Rosie the Riveter on her bicep, both forearms are adorned with some nipple showing pinup girls looking longingly over their shoulders for a mate, opposite are pin up's with hair in victory rolls laying down stroking their leg's with toes pointed in the air like rigor has set in. Upon closer observation, these tatts are not new nor are they 1940's old. Shocked, surprised, and a bit giggly I excitedly continued bantering with sweet Grandma....

    Me: "OH MY GAWWWWWD!!!! Your art is amazing!!!! Blah, Blah, Blah. May I have my photo taken with you?"

    Sweet Grandma: "NO!" said sharply then she shoved her prisoner dog into stroller.

    Me: My mouth is catching flies and all I can hear are crickets.

    Evil Grandma: "You're just going to put it on the internet and my tattoo guy doesn't like that." She swiftly replaces shawl to hide her awesome tatts.

    Me: Stammering to make right, "Well who's your artist? I would gladly give credit where credit is due."

    B!tchy Grandma: "He's down the way across the street from Target." And just like that, she turned on her witchy loafer and hustled away with all 3 prisoners in the stroller. 

    Me: "But, I have VICTORY ROLLS!"

    I felt like I just got dumped at the dance right when the music stopped and everyone heard. Pathetically, the tears started to well in my eyes. Seriously, what the f#<k just happened?'

    An observing by standard walks up to me to offer a sympathetic hug and some much needed consoling kind words such as...."Wow! Really didn't expect that!" and "Really was looking forward to that almost touching moment. She looked so nice."

    This happened a few weeks ago. I've picked up the pieces of my broken and disappointed victory rolls and moved on with my life. That is when a  magical moment at the Rockton River Market happened. We were celebrating Jackass Charm's debut at Vintage Petal flower shop. I won't lie, it stirred up some mixed emotions. An angel of mercy & redemption strolled into my view. I leaped to my feet (didn't spill my wine either!) excited to tell her my story of the Evil Land's End Grandma and yet hesitant she too would think the worst of me.

    I never caught her name but I want to formally thank her and to offer these words of advice. When you receive a compliment on your Rosie tattoo and a pathetic victory roll wearing soul asks for photos with you, take it as a form of flattery not exploitation. Oh, and don't push your dogs in a stroller. They have 4 f#<king legs ferfuksake!

     

    Sure wish I got your name. Thank you again for this awesome photo op! You made my day so much better.

    This moment got me curious. So, I did some research on tattoo parlors "across the street" from Target in the Boystown area. Would you believe it? There is one!!!! It's called The Tattoo Factory (est. 1979). Out of curiosity I reached out to them and tried to explain this story in 500 characters and ask for permission to name them in this blog. Needless to say, I have not had a response. I think they think I'm CRAZY, but if this is indeed the parlor that tattooed the crazy ol'gal they certainly deserve the credit that is due!

    Awe shite! Were there grammatical errors or typos? Feel free to snicker to yourself about them; I'm no English major.
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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 9M ago

    I told myself I wouldn't do it ever again. I swore to it in front of family and friends. I won't lie; I feel like a failure for not sticking to my guns.

    I bloody buckled and got us a dog. Ok. He's not just a dog; he's a smoochy poochy!!!!

     

    Meet Wagner Sudsalot!

    One look into those sweet brown eyes and my heart melted. I swear, he's the only one that likes me in this house! Wanger has inspired my desire to provide the best because he just might appreciate it. While strolling through the aisles of a brand name pet store in search of the perfect food, the perfect leash, the perfect bed, the perfect toy did I eventually land in the shampoo aisle.

    An example of a toy that just might be perfect, depending on the person. This is Wagner's first bone(r). I swear it didn't look suspicous in the packaging! Now I have to hide it when guests come over.

    Once I exhausted myself squeezing Wanger's new bone (it crunches!), I started trolling the ingredients of the shampoos; please don't judge me. Holding these bottles brought back memories of my pathetic attempts to shampoo our previous 4 legged pals, Koda and Rusty. These huskies may have crossed the rainbow bridge, but they have left an indelible mark on our hearts (and our back door). I wish I had video clips of my game of Twister otherwise known as - "bathing a dog outside".

    I remember it like it was last summer. No, seriously. Summer was the only time I was comfortable giving those furry beasts a good scrub down. There was no way I was going to subject my house drains to that amount of fur. Now clearly, only one dog could give me a "twister ass whooping" at a time.

    What's A Twister Ass-Whooping?

    Human: Attempt to show dominance to dog by standing on the dog's lead (already attached to dog's collar) to reduce wiggle room with the hose in one hand and the other hand wrapped around dog collar (still around dog's neck).

    Dog: awkwardly twist human's hand that is death griping collar while human is still trying to stand on lead and drench dog with hose.

    Human: Convinced the battle is won due to sustained death grip & fully saturated dog! Time to commence one handed soap application - drop hose, grab shampoo bottle, open bottle, squeeze. This is when the game of twister begins, but without the game board. Shit! The bottle of shampoo slips out of hand and is now just out of reach. Since one foot is on the lead and one hand is being mangled by the death grip, the only option with the widest range of reach is the other leg/foot to retrieve the damn soap back within hand reach. 

    Dog: Ha! The human's off balance, I shall now lunge in the opposite direction and collect my twister ass whooping trophy as I watch my human fall on their ass.

    This twister ass whooping I have received in the past has inspired me to conquer dog shampoo and make it better! Granted Wagner is only 30 lbs. and much smaller than Koda and Rusty, however, what if there was a way for me to make soap on a rope or preloaded mitt to turn the Twister Whoop Ass ratio in the human's favor regardless of the size of dog?

    What to put in it?

    At the time, I really didn't pay attention to the ingredients in any product I purchased for those furry beasts. If I liked how it smelled and if it claimed it would make Fido's coat shiny and soft, I was sold. Yes, I was ignorant, but no more. This opinion is now changing with the more research I do into making a high quality doggy shampoo bar.

    PH (potential of hydrogen) is the controversy and dilemma. A dog's ph is not standard across the board. It varies from 6.5 - 7.5 depending on breed, age, & sex. Here is the controversy - the ph of soap* cannot be lower than 8. If one was to add an acid to lower the ph it would neutralize the sodium hydroxide leaving an oily mess. Here is the dilemma - a dog's epidermis layer is thinner than a human's. Its ability to recover from a ph change, acidic or alkaline, takes longer and makes them more susceptible to yeast, bacteria, & sensitivity. 

    * Soap is the official name of the chemical reaction between sodium or potassium hydroxide and oils/fats aka lipids. This does not include detergents or cleansing bars.

    So, why am I finding bar soap for dogs all over the internet? I don't know, but my respect for ph and my dedication to a truly all-natural Fido product is pushing me in a non-sudsing cleansing cream direction. I'll keep you posted.

    For now, Fido will continue to dominate the Twister Whoop Ass ratio ....for now.

    To make up for my shortcomings to my Fido lovers, I will be bribing all my Fido friends with homemade doggy biscuits at all Jackass Charm Soap outdoor markets & pop-up shops! We've already done the whole testing on animals thing.....They LOVE them!

    Darn it! You can't make it to any of our markets or pop-up shops? That's ok. Here is the recipe!!! It's incredibly easy to make.

    Wagner's Pumpkin-Peanut Butter Biscuits

    Ingredients: 

    • 1 cup pumpkin puree
    • 2 eggs (farm fresh preferably)
    • 1/4 cup all-natural peanut butter (palm free & sweetener free)
    • 1/2 cup rolled oats ground to a powder (using a pestle & mortar or clean coffee grinder)
    • 3 cups brown rice flour or gluten free flour

    Directions:

    1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
    2. In a small bowl, combine pumpkin, eggs, & peanut butter.
    3. In a medium bowl, stir together oats and flour.
    4. Add pumpkin mixture to dry ingredients.
    5. Roll dough to 1/2" thick. Dough will be a little sticky. Dusting with flour makes things easier.
    6. Cut using your favorite cookie cutter or to make paw prints use 2.5" circle cookie cutter. Using your thumb to create paw pad and tip of finger to make toe pads.
    7. Bake on a cookie sheet for 30-45 mins. Cookies should be dry and crunchy. For softer cookies, use shorter baking time, recommended for older dogs with mouth/tooth issues.
    8. Cool on a wire rack. Store in an air tight container. Use within 7 days.

    Enjoy!!!!

     

    Awe shite! Were there grammatical errors or typos? Feel free to snicker to yourself about them; I'm no English major.

     

     

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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 10M ago

    As some of you may know, last week the Mars Candy Co. was trying to tell me something.

    I think Mars Candy Co. is trying to tell me something.

    That being said, today the song “Come out and Play” by 
    Greenday Offspring just magically (I may or may not have been consuming my favorite adult beverage) popped into my head. However, I could not remember all the words - no surprise to those close to me intoxicated or not. To remedy the situation of me not having a long-term or short-term memory for anything;  I did what I do best and made up my own fuckin’ words.

    Today's whimsical inspiration came from a recent purchase intended to embellish BuzzBee soap just a little bit. See exhibit 1A.

     

    Exhibit 1A. Please note the description: *Durable, comfortable wood handles. *Limited lifetime warranty.

    Seriously?! You cannot hold me accountable for what my brain does after seeing this AND consuming multiple adult beverages.

    Here is the end result verse after laying my innocent eyes on the above image: instead of “You better keep ‘em separated.” I came up with “Are you feelin’ masturbated?”

    The moment those words were muttered from my mouth Mr. Sudsalot hid the bloody rum from me.

    Damn.

     

    Awe shit! Were there grammatical errors or typos? Feel free to snicker to yourself about them; I'm no English major.

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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 10M ago

    Ruthie sure has been busy planning out how she's going to soil minds whilst cleaning bodies in the 2017 year for Jackass Charm Soap.

    Currently on the books is......
    • Nettelhorst French Market - Every 4th Saturday 8am-2pm (starting April 22 - October) at Nettelhorst School, Broadway & Melrose, Chicago, IL

    • Leathers4U - May 20th, 2017 1:00pm  982 IL Rt. 59, Antioch, IL
    • Taste of Wheaton - June 3, 2017 - Time TBD Municipal parking lot 3. Main & Liberty
    • Glenco French Market - Every 2nd Saturday 8am-1pm (starting June 10 - October) at Wyman Green & Village Court.
    What we are shooting for is....
    • Iron Invasion - October 7, 2017 McHenry County Fairgrounds, Woodstock, IL
    • Autumn Drive - October 20-22 at 4 Lazy K's Ranch, Woodstock, IL (This one is in the bag! All Ruthie has to do is kiss a little ass)
    • Ultimate Women's Expo Chicago - October 21-22. 2017 at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center 5555 N. River Rd, Rosemont, IL (watch our KickStarter video "We Have A Dream" to find out how you can help us get there!)

    We Have A Dream - YouTube

     

     Our fingers are crossed for the success of the Kickstarter which will fund the deposit for the Ultimate Woman's Expo Chicago. Have the urge to help us out? It's easy; just click on this link - https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/932592593/chicago-womens-expo

    We are very excited for the upcoming season. Hope to see your ass there!

     

    Did you find any typos or grammatical errors? Please feel free to snicker to yourself. I'm no English major.

     

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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 10M ago

    It's been a little busy over in the lab, aka kitchen, and in Ruthie's head lately. We have decided to add even more products to our collection!

    This, however, has not gone without some classic WTF moments because LIQUID SOAP is on our (please read the following in a big booming echo-ey voice) "Things To Conquer" agenda. Yep, we have entered the liquid soap game. Foaming soap, gels, and hopefully one day BUBBLE BATH!!!!

    This is quite the challenge with values such as ours: keeping our products truly all-natural including how we color & scent our soap.

    In true Sudsalot fashion, Ruthie jumped in head first and attempted making her version of The Green Fairy Bubble Bath. Picture this... a chartreuse colored, super-de-dooper luxurious bubbly product that smells like licorice-y Ricola and packaged in a square glass bottle with a swing top cap. This is supposed to be a way for Jackass Charm Soap to pay homage to the ultimate adult beverage....Absinthe.

    And here is a classic example of WTF?!

    Ok, so the first attempt wound up looking more like Ruthie's #1 favorite alcohol, spiced rum. The comfrey infused water was a beautiful green before the potassium hydroxide was added. Not only was it not absinthe green, it absolutely sucked as a bubble bath. With hopes that we could salvage the 6 lbs (a bit of an over achieving amount for a first try) we hoped it would work grrrrreat as a foaming hand soap. After testing on the nearest available homo-sapiens, the overwhelming consensus was....it sucked donkey dick as a hand soap too. While it lathered incredibly, it left our hands tight and itchy. But, the remaining 5 lbs of paste is almost as fun to poke at as popping bubble wrap. Maybe jumping straight into bubble bath was a bit too much. 

    Maybe we should try foaming hand soap. Ruthie can learn from her mistakes and reduced the test batch to an easier pill to swallow if this sudsy experiment turned out to be another WTF moment.

    It's not so much as a WTF as DYTAWUSTLLU (Do you think anyone would use soap that looks like urine?) moment.

    Yes. This looks like urine. To be more accurate, it looks like asparagus urine or a night of heavy drinking urine. Trying to salvage what could be perceived as a mason jar half empty of urine soap, we turned it into a mason jar half full of a lemongrass, lavender, and bergamot foaming soap.

    It has been suggested we name this visual atrocity Penis Colada, which would be possible if we used fragrance oils, but we digress. If you are a fan of squeaky clean, this is the soap for you. Ruthie on the other hand, is not a fan. So, one must continue on the (please read the following in a big booming echo-ey voice, again) "Things To Conquer" agenda.

    Oooooh! 3rd time's a charm right? Well...

    This time we tried for a gel soap instead of a foaming soap. Everything was going just as planned, until Ruthie decided to help the last stage along just a wee bit. With stick blender in hand, the button was pushed. That tiny little blade worked its magic. And, voila!

    A gel that is chock full of tiny little bubbles. Bummer.

    With the swift addition of distilled water, Turkey Red castor oil, and Vitamin E(T50) soy based, we have magically salvaged our failed gel as a foaming liquid soap! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (that was supposed to be a menacing laugh not evil.) And the icing on the cake is Ruthie likes it! 

    Now, we haven't quite thought through which essential oils to use to scent it or what to name it. We can tell you that it will be packaged in a beautiful 8 oz. glass French Square bottles with a "for realz" stainless steel foaming pump (non of that plastic plated shit). We will also be offering 20 oz. refills packaged in a convenient stand up spout bag with a threaded plastic cap.

    Not only have we been testing liquid soaps, but we have also been working on a "not your every day bath bomb".The addition of vegetable glycerin, an ass's face stamped on it, and a huge 3.5" diameter certainly qualifies the up and coming bath bombs as "not your every day bath bomb".

    Last but not least, body scrubs and scented salt crystal sachets will soon be on our "menu"! Hmmmmm, just in time for the holidays. (yes, you can curse us for saying it. Feel free to curse us with a winter that does not fall below 30 degrees and is full of white fluffy stuff that never gets dirty.) 

    Awe shite! Did you find a typo or 2 and a major faux pas regarding grammar? Good for you. Feel free to snicker to yourself. I ain't no English major and I tried my bestest.

     

     

     

     

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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 10M ago

    This past weekend Jackass Charm Soap had the pleasure of participating in the Randolph Street Market. It's an indoor/outdoor monthly market smack in the middle of West Loop with over 300 hand picked vendors.

    As with any event such as this, a vendor will meet many different and interesting people. As the old saying goes, market to those whom you want to do business with. Well, I don't think I was looking at the big picture when I developed A.R.S.E. Cream.

    I actually made this diaper rash cream as part of a gift basket for the Big Latch On event. 

    I had a few A.R.S.E. Creams left over so they accompanied the other body butters on our trip to Randolph Market.

    As we all know, Ruthie's social filter is broken and is in an irreparable state. So, when the couple entered the Jackass Charm Soap booth space they had no clue what they were in for. The wife proceeds to pick up and read the A.R.S.E. Cream label. She chuckles and nudges her husband to take a gander at the label. He smiles and nods as if there were an inside joke between them. Ruthie at this point may or may not have filled her water bottle with "grape juice" and may or may not have consumed the entire bottle before this unassuming couple meandered unsuspectingly towards this comment...

    Ruthie to husband: "What? You entering the back door lately?"

    Husband: no answer.

    Wife turns her head, makes eye contact with Ruthie and with a dead serious look in her eye proceeded to say, "Weekly."

    That's when Ruthie lost her shit! It was bad enough that I turned bright red from head to toes, but when the beads of sweat formed on my brow that's when the passersby took notice along with the neighboring vendors. Then, the tears (from laughing so hard) began to flow with no end insight!

    True story!

    I've contemplated adding to the A.R.S.E. Cream label a defining statement regarding diaper rash cream, but then again who am I to ruin a good thing?

    Awe shite! Did you find a typo or 2 and a major faux pas regarding grammar? Good for you. Feel free to snicker to yourself. I ain't no English major and I tried my bestest.
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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 10M ago

    Jackass Charm Soap & The General Store - YouTube

    Just don't know how Ruthie did it, but she was able to find a store brave enough to carry Jackass Charm Soap!!!!!! Now you don't have to wait for the next PopUp shop to fondle, sniff, read, giggle, and buy your favorite Jackass Charm product! 

    Just drive waaaaaaay up north to Greenwood's General Store anytime you wish! By the way, we heard they have the World's Best Coffee, some pretty damn good ice cream, and incredibly skilled sangwich makers. BUT....if you want any of these goods you must be donning your shirt and shoes.

    (Damn our videos are almost at the Menard's standards!!!)

    Awe shite! Were there grammatical errors or typos? Feel free to snicker to yourself about them; I'm no English major.

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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 10M ago
    Downtown Wayland

    Mr & Mrs Sudsalot traveld to Wayland, Michigan to soil some minds & came home with surprising observations.

    This cozy Michigan town was the location for Jackass Charm Soap's latest pop-up shop. It may not be known as a tourist attraction, but if you want to feel welcome and meet some pretty amazing folks I highly recommend a visit. Not only can Wayland claim it has the ultimate connoisseur of beer over at Acqua in Vino, their eclectic antique shops bring back the good ol' times for all ages. It is also the home to a variety of thirst quenching watering holes. As a jab to our son who was not with us, they have a "pretty sick" skate park. Let us not forget Wayland is home to the historic Henika Library.

    Truthfully, I was a bit nervous about this event seeing that 3 churches were also vendors, along with the boy scouts, and other innocent minds that one day could blame Ruthie for their future gutter dwelling behaviors. Seriously, we are all about aiding the dwellers not converting non-dwellers. I just couldn't live with that. Instead, we were greeted with giggles, oooh's & ahhh's, and open hearts! 

     

    Officer Gulch confirming he is Handsome.

    And clearly there are folks there that are just as crazy as Ruthie!

    This is Herb. He is a confident, percussion loving, patriotic Jackass.

    According to the 2010 census, Wayland's population was just over 4,000, however, I'm going to take a leap and say that number has risen considerably due to the fact that the water there may have "magical" properties. I may be in trouble, because I snuck over to the beer garden at The Wayland Hotel and had myself a cocktail that I'm pretty sure utilized ice cubes to keep it cool & delicious. (In case your chemistry is rusty, ice is made by freezing water. So, that means I DRANK THE WATER!!!) Crap. I'll let you know in 9 months to confirm if the rumor is true or not, meanwhile, I can say honestly there were more babies & pregnant gals than pets in strollers and folks in the beer gardens combined!

    Call it what you will be it serendipity, fate, or meant to be, our conversation with Mr. Ray Antel III was one of those. After discovering that Mr Sudsalot and he stomped on common grounds in the 90's with their mountain bikes, he revealed to us that he has a passion for running and shares his passion with middle and high school students, let alone their wine loving parents! Guess who we'll be signing up for running camp next year at 44th Parallel, LLC, our very own talented runner that happens to be our giggly and shaky videographer - Roxy Sudsalot!

     

    We had such a wonderful time hanging, laughing, and maybe offending a few of the Wayland residents yesterday. Hopefully, they will let us do it again next year!

    Mr. Sudsalot guarding the goods while Ruthie boozes it up (or is busy becoming contaminated) over at the Wayland Hotel.

    Did you find any typos or grammatical errors? Please feel free to snicker to yourself. I'm no English major.

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    Jackass Charm Soap News by Valerie Deegan-johnson - 10M ago

    This week I partook in 2 events to hawk Jackass Charm Soap at. One being a motorcycle fundraising event and the other being a cruise night.

    At the Woodstock Harley Davidson Rock the House for MS event I learned:

    1. How to categorize a whore. For instance, there is the ugly whore, skanky whore, droopy whore, and my personal favorite smart whore.
    2. One can receive Goat Mail. Yes, this is a real thing! www.YouGoatMail.com
    3. German's love red lipstick.
    4. Spanx absorb both crack & boob sweat. 

    At the cruise night I learned:

    1. Some guy is REALLY proud of his Dodge Neon.
    2. Bike folk are way more fun to fuck with than car people.

    I have to thank Susie and Roy representing Leathers 4U, II, Inc. for thoroughly schooling me about whores and keeping me entertained at the Rock the House event!!!

    In conclusion, bike folk are WAY more fun to fuck with than car folk. 

    Thank you.

    Awe shit! Were there grammatical errors or typos? Feel free to snicker to yourself about them; I'm no English major.

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