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Dear Single Mom:

This photo was taken back in 2016 while I was living in Beaumont, TX. (I currently reside in Harlem, NY) I was living the best that I could with the knowledge I had then. I would say I learned a lot about myself in that time of isolation. But the reality is, I opened myself up to heal some wounds I wasn’t aware I had. I was faced to see the things I took for granted. And grow the hell up. I was also put in position to never EVER depend on anyone but myself. As my sister in Christ Kim says, “i finally accepted being a single mother”. And today I work harder to make things happen, rather than expecting things to fall on my lap. No one owes me anything. Not even my parents. We all have a choice. We choose a path and we make the best of it. So to the single mother that is crying and wondering why the heck your child(ren)s father isn’t doing his part, cry but dry those eyes once you are done. Leave the door open if it is a situation where it is okay to leave it open. Don’t deny your children the right to see them. But don’t beg. Don’t beg another human being to contribute in raising children they took part in creating. We shouldn’t have to beg or make someone do anything. On the other hand DO YOU. Do what you have already been doing. If you need a sitter invest in one that fits your budget. If you can’t afford one at all, find a program in your city that you may qualify for. Seek counseling / therapy for those oh so *bleeping* hard days. Save whatever money you can. Create a vision you want for your family and create action behind it to see it manifest. Make do with what you have and don’t you EVER EVER GIVE UP!!! I guarantee it, your child(ren) will grow up and KNOW who was ALWAYS there. To learn more about my journey, purchase an autographed copy today! @ HowiSingleMomit.com (my home page)

#singlemom #encouragement #dontquit #pushthrough #dontgiveup #singleparent #raisingchildren #coparenting

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I am the most happiest when I am dedicating to self care. What is your version of self care Jasmine? Well self care is when I am working out, eating healthy, and have a good relationship  with God. Being a mother, having a full time job, taking care of your home, and following your dreams can be a lot on a person. And when my self care takes a back seat because of lack of consistency, I am not my happiest. I’ve seen what doing what makes you happy can do.  I am more intoned with myself and I can deliver a good message that can resonate with a single mother out there. I am more free in though and understanding, and my clarity is sharp. I mean it is like you are unstoppable, and things are aligned. But then you have a hiccup, and you fall, and you have to start all over again. Well that is where I am right now. We all can have our good days, and we all can have our not so good days. But one thing that I have learned, sometimes you have to take it up a notch. Sometimes what may have worked before, does not work again and you have to challenge yourself. I also learned that when things according to your perception aren’t going the way that you would like, can really mean that it really is going right, and that it is a new level of satisfaction that you may have reached. So whatever self care is for you, sit down get a piece of pen and paper and write it down. After you have written it down, make the necessary strides to do it. Do what brings you joy…And everything else will fall into place.

#selfcare #momlife #motherhood #happiest #joy #alignment #singlemom #parenting #workingout #eatinghealthy #love

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Word of advice. Do the best you can raising your little ones. My upbringing was not as perfect as one would think. But the key word is perfect. We had great times as well. One thing is for sure, I remember the struggles I endured with my mother. I also remember her doing her best to feed us and make the most of anything. I remember when she had leg room to get us more than we asked for and she would always say yesShe did her best. I remember the good times and I remember the not so good times. But what stands out the most, and I may not have said it then as I do now because I am now a mother, I appreciate her best. Don’t compare your way of raising your children with others. Don’t stop being you because of what you feel and think you need to do. Do you best. If you renig on a punishment, it’s ok if you back track, but know that it comes with consequences. If you don’t make rice and meat with veggies for dinner, but rather a turkey cheese lettuce tomatoes on a roll for dinner, that’s ok too. If you want to stay up late on a school night to bond with your kids over Henry Danger (A nickelodean show by the way) so be it. But dammit, be you! You children will never ever forget what you did for them in your honesty, and in your truth. You want  honest people in your life, RAISE THEM! You want respectful people in your life RAISE THEM! You want loving people RAISE THEM! The bottom line to all of my truth right here, is that it’s my truth. There is no perfect way to parent. But when you make a decision that involves your children, know that they see it. Know that they will mimick it. We ARE A PRODUCT OF OUR ENVIRONMENT. Parent around THAT! #mytruth #honesty #raisingboys #parenting #transparent #singlemom #motherhood #momofboys #nycliving #harlem #love #respect #us #howisinglemomit
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Being a mom. Is not always glamorous. I share happy photos , positive thoughts, positive photos, and happy times, because that is the life i want and AM leading. But i / we do have our rough days. I do have my days when my 6 year old throws one of the most annoying tantrums on the planet, it makes me want to lose my shit. But i don’t. Well at least most recently. I have been practicing patience EVERYDAY, not mastered, but practicing. Practicing : the actual application or use of an idea or belief. I have been practicing consistent discipline with my 6 year old in a form of not backing down from him when it comes to thinking he can get away with not doing what he needs to do or getting upset over the tiniest things. These very things are done at home and at school. With that said, I’m standing my ground, I’m putting him on the wall at home. My form of timeout when his knees are bent and hands are out, and I’m making him aware of what it is needs to work on. Being a mother, a single mom, a parent is not easy. And it isn’t made for the weak. Stand your ground. They’ll thank you later. #tantrums #parenting #singlemom #discipline #firm #son #momofboys #singleparent #howisinglemomit
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