Divorce is a difficult and painful process regardless of who initiated it. There are so many decisions to make and things to finalize, it can be overwhelming. Making a list of where to begin seems to make things more obtainable.
Begin with the basics, where will you live? If you own who will chose the realtor? If you sell are there penalties if you don’t invest in a certain time frame?
Choosing an attorney, sounds easy enough but can actually be very difficult. Do you need a litigator because chances are you will end up in court over things like kids or investments? Are things amicable and a mediator can be used? Is collaborative divorce a better direction? Do you need a lawyer closer in proximity because you will be there often throughout this process?
Insurance whether it be health, life or car all need to be weighed out carefully and takes time and knowledge. Anyone can receive a quote online but read the fine print. Make sure you fully understand the deductibles. If you have off spring having a policy in your spouses name with your children as the beneficiary maybe of importance.
Lastly, how will you emotionally tackle all that’s in front of you? There are many wonderful support groups out there. Consider counseling to help sift through things and setting up new goals. Take a class, go on walks, keep a journal do something just for you. Taking time out for yourself and being selfish in your needs is part of the healing process. This is your journey, take baby steps, breath and embrace what lies ahead.
Mother’s Day was always a big day in my house during my marriage. It meant flowers and breakfast in bed, handmade cards and thoughtful gifts from not only my children but my husband. So naturally after my divorce I was concerned when May would roll around. Would the kids feel differently that they couldn’t purchase items or make the same breakfast they would when daddy was present? Would they internalize this day and fret over the new normal? I made make sure they knew homemade cards and handpicked flowers always trumps store bought gifts any day. It’s now been a few years since my divorce and Mother’s Day is still as amazing and cherished as it’s always been. The kids have figured it out and some years I even get better gifts then when we were a family unit. So as this Mother’s Day approached it was a bit different I decided to visit my dad in Florida, the kids were a bit older and Mother’s Day is just as significant but the kids have their own agenda and plans. As I departed the airport exchanged hugs and kisses with my dad I loaded the car with my luggage. He promptly told me he had a surprise for me. We drove for a few hours in a comfortable silence every once in a while twinge of guilt about not receiving the obligatory breakfast in bed, but it would pass quickly with the anticipation of the unknown destination. We finally arrived as the sun was setting over the ocean of one of my favorite locations with the most amazing beach resort in the background. I could not have asked for anything more perfect. As I awoke on Mother’s Day my first thought was my children who make this day possible, then my former husband for giving me the greatest gift I could ever ask for and lastly my father who knew exactly what I needed this mothers day and made sure I received it.
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