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Counselling BC Blog by Barb Leigh - 2d ago

A Scar on the Heart

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Does your partner experience anxiety? Is your social life taking a hit because your partner has too much anxiety to even think about socializing? Do you worry when your partner is on emotional roller coaster? Do you want to be able to know what to do when her or she is having a panic attack?

Partners of people with anxiety often say to me that they feel helpless when their partner struggles. They aren't sure what to do. Sometimes the things they try help and sometimes they don't.

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Does your partner experience anxiety? Is your social life taking a hit because your partner has too much anxiety to even think about socializing? Do you worry when your partner is on emotional roller coaster? Do you want to be able to know what to do when her or she is having a panic attack?

Partners of people with anxiety often say to me that they feel helpless when their partner struggles. They aren't sure what to do. Sometimes the things they try help and sometimes they don't.

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As we near the age of 40, and take stock of our lives, many of us find ourselves feeling antsy…like we’re not quite fitting in our own skin.

The fact is that we have never really fit in our own skin, but finally we are able to notice it.

In my work as a psychotherapist, I have guided many people through the type of existential struggle that is common around this time. What I have found is that there are two directions people take when the inklings of discomfort begin: the first direction is to look inward, and the second is to look outward. 

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Do you ever feel anxious, or embarrassed when meeting a new person?

How about when you drive over a bridge, or go on a plane, or when you sit in the passenger seat of a car – do you get a bit nervous?

ALL of these experiences originate in a trauma! And more often than not, they are what we refer to as a ‘small t’ trauma (as opposed to a ‘big T’ trauma).

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Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common mental health conditions in children according to Statistics Canada. It is characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity, although these symptoms vary. ADHD usually arises in the preschool years but is typically identified in the elementary school grades. Drop out rates for these kids are higher.

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Tax season is a good time to find ourselves wondering, "Why did I leave this so late?"

Do you find yourself thinking, "I've got lots of time to do this (project or assignment, etc)" and then suddenly it has crept up on you and you are in panic mode?

Now you've got double the work: getting through the anxiety and also getting the project done.

It isn't fun. But you get through. And it's done. Phew.

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Recently when I was doing some continuing ed, I was reading an article on Shame and Humiliation in relationship to childhood abuse. (If you want to know: It was published in the Journal of Trauma & Dissociation by the ISSTD and written by Martin Dorahy in 2017.)

It was quite a fascinating read, I must say! It showed clearly the difference between experiencing shame and humiliation especially in relation to abuse. And it was quite eye-opening the difference.

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As we near the age of 40, and take stock of our lives, many of us find ourselves feeling antsy…like we’re not quite fitting in our own skin.

The fact is that we never did really fit in our own skin, but only now we have slowed down enough to notice it.

In my work as a psychotherapist, I have guided many people through the type of existential struggle that is common around this time. What I have found is that there are two directions people take when the inklings of discomfort begin: the first direction is to look inward, and the second is to look outward. 

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Do you ever feel anxious, or embarrassed when meeting a new person?

How about when you drive over a bridge, or go on a plane, or when you sit in the passenger seat of a car – do you get a bit nervous?

ALL of these experiences originate in a trauma! And more often than not, they are what we refer to as a ‘small t’ trauma (as opposed to a ‘big T’ trauma).

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