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I’m not full of warm fuzzy and rainbows. I’m not like a super-duper positivity dude that is going to blow sunshine up your butt. Just not how I roll.

However, I’m not a Debbie-downer either. I mean, I can be very negative and depressed. And then, yeah, I’m very doom and gloom. But I take a wee pill for that. And it helps temper that. Which helps a bit. Not eliminate… because pain is a suckfest. And suckfest is going to lead to suckfest thoughts. We are not going to escape that. And I would be lying if I said we could. Because on a bad pain day… or stretch… thoughts are not happy-happy-joy-joy. Just saying.

And that is part of the chronic pain experience we cannot avoid.

How I roll? Is realistic. Most of the time. And I aim to be. So pain is a suckfest and we can all agree on that. But it is my suckfest. What the actual hell do you mean by that?

I mean, there is no cure for what ails me, man. This is a suckfest life but it is the only life I have.

So I really have no choice but to make the best life I can out of this genetic crap roll. What makes it difficult is that it is rather difficult to do anything. So I think to myself I am the tortoise, not the hare. Slow and mellow is the name of the game, eh? It is not 10 things a day it is 1 small thing a day and 3 short social things a month. Maybe more, maybe less. And hobbies that I can actually do, like write, typos included.

People may think, what a Sad, Pathetic, life that is. And I say screw you! It is a Life is what it is. I put effort into it. A lot of effort into the things I do. Socializing isn’t something I have to do to stay sane as a human being but it takes a lot out of a person. But I make sure that I do it. And besides that I have few friends left and I would like to keep them. Because I like them. The key to that is picking things that use up less battery time instead of more, and less likely to trigger and migraine instead of way more likely. And knowing there are a price and consequence to everything… so choose wisely. There are things I cannot do, yeah. But some things I can. Hang out in the backyard with a fire. Play cards or games. Go out for coffee with friends or my mom. Lots of little things that the cost is acceptable.

Housework is a necessary part of mundane life I have to do. I just know to do a wee bit a day… or the second day… maybe sometimes skip a few days or a week. But if you do a little at a time you house stays well maintained. You don’t need to do a whole lot a day and pay a massive consequence for a week.

And my hobbies keep my brain engaged and active. I enjoy them. They give me a sense of purpose and interest me. Maybe when my vertigo is managed I can try something else to help alieve that sense of More I want. I mean, I will always have that sense of wanting More. But having Enough is good.

There will be days and weeks and even months we will lose to pain. But I do not call them lost days anymore. I call them recovery days. Rest days. The days I need self-care the most days.

So maybe it isn’t much of a life. And at the moment with the vertigo, dizziness, balance issues… and the fatigue with it … it is less than it was even. So it is hard for sure. But it could be the way it is. It could be the new normal. Something I realized when I accepted the whole cane was a necessary thing even with medication. So adjustments have to be made. Life changes. We deal. Life goes on, eh?

We have to find our gleams of sunshine in this life somehow. Make something out of it. With family and friends and things we can and like to do.

I suppose this has to do with acceptance. I accept this is the way it is, for now anyway. Things always change. And I have to live the life I have in any way that I can.

In a way, it is also hard-earned wisdom. I know what it is like to completely detach from the world because of pain. To not want to do things because of pain and so just not do them. To not try. To not explore my limits so never test them and never nudge them. To become a hermit. I mean what is the point of going out when it hurts so much?

The point is that even introverts need human contact, or so my psychologist told me, and he was right. It makes me feel really good to connect with people when I can on the level I can. Secondly, I will be in the house… and I will be in pain out of the house… so if I go socialize it literally is the same thing. I will be in pain anywhere and everywhere. But of course, there is a difference. Doing things=more pain. So we have to measure action vs. consequences. But say… sitting at a friend’s playing cards? Vs. Sitting at home binging Netflix? Sort of same deal pain-wise. Maybe environmental differences. Or fatigue differences. But that is about all. So choose your cost and consequences really. And make sure when you do you Always have recovery time. Being disabled I have all the recovery time I need. But when I worked… I always needed to plan recovery time. If there was no recovery time, I had to say no. If there was a lot of travel time… usually a no. If their too much of a cost to pay… definite no. Work tended to get peeved when I turned down off work time events in the community that required a) travel time b) activity c) no recovery time. And they were quite aware of my health issue. I mean really. Normals do Not Get It.

Anyway, I learned the hard way. I would prefer all you guys do not learn that way. That way led to very severe depression. The worse decade of my life. It happened. And I am better than I was mentally and emotionally but I do not recommend that lesson. Although sometimes we have to learn it. Sometimes it is our path. Sometimes coping is a really hard deal. So this is really a case of I hope in my heart of hearts my blog helps you guys learn from my mistakes so you find a new path to coping and acceptance without that darker path. And I don’t mean depression, because that, many of us have and I still have. I mean, just a really dark, isolated, lonely time where the depression eats you up and spits you out. And you come out the other side broken, no self-worth, no self-esteem, wondering who the hell you even are. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

So let’s find our gleams of sunshine. Whatever floats your boat, man. Knitting. Painting. Glass work. Metalwork. Tai Chi. Video gaming. Your family. Your kids. Your grandkids. Karaoke. Writing. Blogging. Vlogging. Puzzles. Find your weird and go with it. Find something new and do that. I keep trying to find something new to try to do, that I can do with this infernal dizziness. But it turns out aside from writing and reading… I lack patience in a lot of hobbies. Go figure. I need to find something simple that I will not lose patience doing. So keeps me interested and engaged.

I spent way too much time thinking about:
  • What I couldn’t do not what I could
  • About ambitions, I Could not have
  • About goals, I would never achieve
  • About things I had to give up on or compromise that I regretted
  • About What Ifs
  • About how much this pain sucked and ruined my Possibilities and Potential

Now I just stopped all that. Enough is enough. This is who I am. This is the life I have.

See more posts on acceptance and coping

Embrace the turtle

What do you think about acceptance

Boom and bust cycle

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I forgot Amazon Prime day started. It is a good time to check out some ongoing deals.

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks This is for Audible which is good for those of us that have a hard time reading due to visual issues or pain issues… can’t focus. Audiobooks are a great alternative.

Try Prime Discounted Monthly Offering This is a great offer. Amazon prime gives us discounts on shipping, video streaming and music. Just saying on a bad day binging American Gods or Good Omens… pretty awesome.

Kindle Unlimited Membership Plans I read a lot and Kindle Unlimited is worth if it if you do as well. I have had issues lately with the vertigo but reading is still something I find very relaxing and hope with treatment I will be able to do so again soon.

Hey, you could always check out my chronic pain humour book, which so far has 3 5-star ratings on Goodreads.

Or my five-book fantasy series with the final coming out soon.

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Pain is a complex beast that needs complex treatment. But there is a lot of chronic pain stigma. And we can’t all afford the chronic pain treatments available. While there is an opiate stigma preventing one form of chronic pain treatment.

The Angus Reid Institute released a survey Friday showing chronic pain is a much more widespread problem than many of us knew. Furthermore, two thirds of those suffering ongoing pain say they can’t afford the range of treatments they feel would improve their lives.

One in three adult Canadians reported being in some fo

rm of pain that has lasted longer than three months, said the poll, which was done in partnership with Pain B.C. and the Mindset Social Innovation Foundation. One in five considered the pain significant, due to its emotional and physical impact on their daily lives. Jack Knox

This shouldn’t surprise anyone. Chronic pain is widespread. The treatment of it is Not. And the treatment is rarely multi-disciplinary. And few of us get into pain clinics and get effective pain management strategies… by the time I did, I had had chronic pain for over 22 years.

The article states:
  • Four in five of those in significant, ongoing pain say it stops them from doing regular activities, and six in 10 say it contributes to anxiety and depression. One in four sometimes feel “life isn’t worth living.”
  • Three-quarters of those reporting ongoing pain have had it for more than three years. Three in 10 say it has lasted more than a decade.
  • Lower-income households and women over age of 35 are more likely to be affected. (That latter bit is noteworthy in Greater Victoria, where females comprise 52 per cent of the population and their median age is 46.3, four years older than in the rest of the country).
  • Eight in 10 Canadians are worried about opioid abuse due to pain. Of those who experience long-term pain, almost one in five avoid opioids entirely and one in four “curtail their usage of these types of medications because of health concerns.”
  •  Nearly four in 10 of those living with severe pain “have experienced difficulties in accessing prescription pain drugs because of their doctor’s or the healthcare system’s concerns about addiction and abuse.”
  •  Three in four of those who use cannabis to treat their pain call it effective. That’s the highest success rate for any of the physical or medicinal treatment methods they were asked about.
  • More than nine in 10 of those polled said all Canadians, regardless of income, should have access to pain treatment that works for them. That was backed up by overwhelming support for the idea of higher subsidies for those who can’t afford treatments they need, more money for research into therapies and increasing the number of treatments covered as a part of public health care.

We need access to chronic pain treatments we cannot afford. Therapies that are recommended to us, like alternative therapies for forms of exercise, like hydrotherapy.

We need doctors to understand opiates can be part of that therapy. I for one, Cannot function let alone exercise without pain medication. And exercise is fundamental to my treatment with the pain clinic.

Cannabis that is medicinal should be covered by the government plans or insurance companies if we are using it medically and for pain management.

Unmanaged chronic pain is a suicide risk. We all said so. Not a one person listened to us.

6 million Canadians have chronic pain of some sort. That is about 1 in 5.

But pain advocates in North America are raising the alarm. They say the number of suicides by people with debilitating chronic pain is growing. There are calls for more publicly funded treatments, such as physiotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy, and better access to pain-killing medication for those truly in need.


“It’s outrageous,” says Halifax pain specialist Mary Lynch, pointing to waiting lists at most multidisciplinary pain clinics that stretch from one to three years. “People just don’t get it – that pain is a disease in its own right. There are vast areas of the country that have no access to services.

There’s a chronic pain crisis in Canada, and governments must address it

There is a war on pain patients while people think they are helping addicts… rarely get their drugs from doctors. There is an opiate stigma with pain patients and it is hurting us a great deal.

“There has been a huge chill on the issue of opioids and tremendous misunderstanding,” complains Maria Hudspith, the executive director of Pain BC, a coalition of pain doctors, researchers and patients. “We have seen people aggressively weaned, we’ve seen people being cut off their medications completely. And we have heard from people who are turning to the illicit market to access drugs in search of relief just out of sheer desperation. There have been documented cases of people who have overdosed and people who’ve committed suicide.” There’s a chronic pain crisis in Canada, and governments must address it

Fact is people are denied what will help them with pain and we cannot afford many of the alternatives for pain that are recommended to us. And in many cases, chronic pain is very difficult to manage and needs more than one approach to tackle it anyway. We need all the game pieces on the board. Instead, we are playing chess with just pawns while pain has a full board.

But maybe some hope?

But Canadians will soon be hearing more about pain. The federal Health Minister, Ginette Petitpas Taylor, is expected to announce a national task force on pain, perhaps next week at The Canadian Pain Society’s annual meeting in Toronto. Advocates have been fighting for years for this but the Harper government rejected the idea in 2012. There’s a chronic pain crisis in Canada, and governments must address it

So just stop punishing the pain patient. If you want us to survive and maybe even thrive or at the very least cope… treat us a little better than your family dog, eh?

Other chronic pain posts

Chronic pain: Achiever fever

Chronic pain: Catastrophizing

Chronic pain: Fake it till you make it?

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I am just going to say it, you can repress all you want, you can be as stoic as you want, as zen as humanly possible… and pain is going to get to you. Not every day. Not all the time. But on the severe days. And when you are just so very tired of the constant nature of it all. We just cannot escape the emotional toll of chronic pain. It is human nature. But it is human nature under a constant stressor.

It is okay to not be okay. I know we fake it a lot and for many varied reasons. Check out the Facade to read more on what I think about this. Anyway, we can get pretty used to being stoic. Hell, I’ve had doctors tell me ‘you’re so stoic’ and I’m like, well, you have taught me to fear exaggerating so I downplay everything so whose fault is that? But we have a right to be upset. Angry. Frustrated. Sad. And a whole range of emotions. We do Not have to pretend all is cool at the freaking time when all is Not cool.

I have written a post that says we have the right to smile and laugh and not be miserable 24/7 and be in pain without people assuming we were spontaneously cured by the chronic illness fairy. Well, likewise we are allowed to be in a shitty mood when things really suck… because, hey, we are an actual human. And this is a constant stressor we are expreriencing. It is exhausting to cope with all the damn time. It is relentless. And it gets to us.

Just do not feel guilty for having a bad mood day. Some days I am just down. I am wary about it because I have depression treated with medication and I want to be careful about it. But sometimes I am just having a down day. Sometimes I am angry because I am suffering and treatment is not progressing at a speed I would deem appropriate. Sometimes I am frustrated I cannot do what I want to do or even need to do. That my body just fails me a lot.

It will upset you that:
  • You have to miss some days of work and your co-workers and depending on you
  • You have to miss some plans and disappoint some people
  • That you’re not as social as people want you to be
  • When your career begins to falter and you struggle to find ways to hold onto it
  • That you cannot do all the things you want to
  • That you cannot have all the goals, desires, and ambitions you want
  • That you may feel like you are failing loved ones
  • Even feel like you are failing at life.

And these are all problems and thoughts that come with chronic pain. But you see, emotions, they twist thoughts

Fact is pain and emotions are linked in the brain. Stub your toe and you hell ‘shit fuck damn it all to hell’. And we feel pain all the time so we deal with emotions all the time. A constant flux. And that takes a massive toll on us. And we may smile through it a lot but it is very stressful for us. That is why I recommend a psychologist that specializes in pain… so that we are able to freely express our thoughts and emotions and frustrations with the pain experience… without being doubted, judged, flippantly told something that isn’t going to help, cause worry when we do not want to.

When we have an emotional experience due to pain:
  • We should think about the Thoughts we are attaching to those emotions. Because sometimes we attach thoughts to emotions just automatically without thought. Like I should feel useless, worthless, guilty and other things. Worse things.
  • We should be careful to not take our emotions out on others, although it is hard, we have to understand it is an internal response to pain. And I do not mean repress the emotion. I mean finding some sort of outlet to work through the emotion from hobbies to meditation to exercise to just getting out of the house for a walk.
  • It can be beneficial to do an emotional diary where we write down the emotion that is occurring with the pain, the thoughts that come with it, and what we are doing to cope with those thoughts.
  • Sometimes it helps to just tell yourself, yes, I am feeling this emotion and, yes, it is perfectly normal. I do not need to think anything in response. I just need to feel it and let it flow through me.
  • And sometimes it helps to just distract ourselves from the emotion and from the pain.
  • Part of self-care is taking care of our emotional well-being and if you know of your self-care things that relax you, calm you, or make you feel good about yourself these are your go-to for bad mood days.
  • And I really do recommend a good psychologist you vibe with.
Things to worry about:
  • Unmanaged depression
  • Unmanaged anxiety

This is something we need to manage because it greatly complicated pain and coping. It can be difficult to manage as well and we have to pay attention to it as its own entity. Because our mental health is just as vital as our physical health.

What I think we should never feel but do:
  • Blame
  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • worthlessness
  • uselessness
  • like a failure

And when we do we really have to stop and think about that and make ourselves understand it IS NOT US PERSONALLY it is our illness. We are not to blame. It is not our fault. We have to cope and live with it, have the consequences of it, but it is never ours to own personally.

It is a big tangled mess. And that is why coping is not a linear line where we work through it and acceptance is this achieved end goal. Bam. Done. No, it is all over the place. Not a circle. But a web. Anger. Guilt. Depression. Acceptance. Back onto Denial. Then anger again. We can linger a day in one. Or years. It is just a constant flux. And sometimes we need support to wrap our heads around it all. So that we do not blame ourselves. So we do not begin to attach negative thoughts to those emotions.  The brain just does that because it is really just trying to make sense of why it is feeling that emotion but then the thought because habitual and we feel miserable because of it. It can take a long time to realize, hey, that stupid thought is so Wrong. I am not to blame at ALL. It gets really rough sometimes when we have a rapid decline in health and functionality and it can take a while to find our balance again. We have to tread carefully sometimes. I have lost myself to deep, dark emotions before… thinking it normal because, well, pain… but that was just hell. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I needed a psychologist, pain management, and depression medication… in my particular case.

Just remember your overall wellbeing is important. And that includes your emotional health. We can’t always hide it. Sometimes we need to talk about it with someone.

Some other posts to thing about

6 chronic illness fears

Chronic pain and emotions

Miserable you must not have pain

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My doctor had taken me off my slow release tramadol on the recommendation of a neurologist I had seen for a consultation set up by the insurance company for my short-term. He thought I was on too many medications so we cut down on a lot. And he thought the tramadol was causing rebound headaches with the migraines.

Basically with tramadol and migraine overuse headaches:

Some patients can take tramadol daily without getting into a medication overuse headache. For others, that 50mg a day could cause MOH. If the tramadol IS causing you MOH, it should be relieved when you take the tramadol. HealthCentral

And I knew I was not rebounding because a) I have rebounded on codeine before and it is pretty easy to see what That feels like and b) I was Better not worse. And I sure as hell would not have stayed on it if it was Worse for damn sure. But he put me on it initially so I was capable of exercising which was his first-line treatment for fibromyalgia and then botox for the migraines.

Off the meds

So I went off. And lately, my pain has been abnormally high. Usually, my baseline fibromyalgia is about 4-6ish aside from flares. Lately, it was 7-9 every damn day. Severe ribcage pain. Severe foot pain. Deeply painful back, shoulder, knee, wrist, hand pain. Pretty much my whole damn body hurt way more than usual. I had a hard time getting up the stairs. Walking was very painful. I could not sleep at night. The best I could do was 5 hours of fitful sleep and getting up at least twice in the night. The lack of sleep was making the vertigo and dizziness severe as it does and this made me even more completely non-functional and confused and unable to think.

I was beyond my pain endurance levels. I was at non-functional every day. And nothing to do about it. I tried cannabis. I tried muscle relaxants. I tried every pain rub in existence. I tried an NSAID cream my doc gave me for my ribs. I tried heat. I tried cold. My mood was being affected. I was angry. I was moody. Just sad as all hell for no reason. And that worried me.

So I set up an appointment with the pain clinic.

I told him the botox had not been working and with my spouse out of work I couldn’t afford it anyway. I told him my doctor took me off my painkiller and how it was affecting me.

He was peeved. Peeved she had taken me off without consulting him… who was managing my pain.

He said not being functional, not being able to do anything, not being able to exercise, would atrophy my muscles and make me feel worse and worse, the pain worse and worse, until I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I said I know. I was very aware of that. I had to rest so much my fibromyalgia was screaming at me. I told him I didn’t know if the severity of the pain was from not being able to do things for so long with the vertigo before I was put on meds, so the FM got worse, or if it is this possible MS issue I may be dealing with… but it has been severe. And my doctor refused to do anything about it.

So he put me back on Tridural (which is a slow-release tramadol brand) and said if 100mg works to stick to that, if not, to go up to 200 mg. And then begin slowly to get some exercise in. The vertigo, balance issues, and dizziness complicates this but I aim to start going for walks first, maybe try my stationary bike (I usually start at 5 min and work slowly up from there), mild stretches, physio exercises and eventually when I feel like I am more stable I want to join a Tai Chi class around here. Either way, you aim for three times a week, always with recovery time, and never push it… always go slow and steady. And it will be pretty slow to start for me after this length of time with no exercise and all this rest time.

I was glad he agreed with me. He said he was going to write a note to my doctor about it. I understand why he was irate since he is supposed to be handling my pain management and my pain has become completely out of control with my doctor’s changes. So back to square one really.

One the pain meds

It was a profound relief to be back on them. It really knocks the pain down a Lot. It is still there but it is manageable. Some days it works better than others because some days I am in more pain than other days. I need 200mgs because the first one will wear off; sometimes in the late afternoon, sometimes the evening. And always in the morning, I am in severe pain such that it is hard to walk so it is definitely gone by then. But the level of pain reduction is such a relief I can’t even describe it. It was like I was always constantly so tense and then suddenly every muscle just relaxed. Now, movement isn’t so agonizing. So I now believe I can start with some slow exercise.

Pain management
  • pain management is vital for our capacity to cope.
  • If we want to exercise we need pain management.
  • If we want to manage our mental illness (depression in my case) we need the pain managed
  • If want to have the capacity to socialize we need some pain management
  • If we want to get to some basic level of functionality instead of way, way worse then we need pain management.
  • We need pain management to help stop suicidal ideation due to pain
  • We need it for our wellbeing
  • We need it for our quality of life

We are human beings. We should not be made to suffer and suffer simply because medical professionals fear opiates. That is what pain clinics are for… helping us in ALL the varied ways to manage our pain, including medications and shots.

*Keep in mind I am Canadian. There isn’t a thousand hoops to jump through to be on tramadol. No pee test. No pain medication shaming. No pharmacists denying to give it to you. No shaming. Just doctors extreme reluctance to put anyone on it now.

See more:

Chronic pain: Life without pain killers

What lessons chronic pain has taught me

Chronic pain: Achiever fever

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This is a list of introduction fibromyalgia posts if you have not been diagnosed yet or have recently been diagnosed.

Things I have always wanted people to know about FM

Challenges of fibromyalgia

First thing first, fibromyalgia is Pain but it is More than pain

Fibromyalgia is more than just pain

Sleep issues

Fatigue and fibromyalgia

Cognitive dysfunction and fibrofog

The long list of Potential symptoms

These days it takes an average 5 years to get diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It used to be diagnosed by a rheumatologist but is now diagnosed by your doctor.

Here is my journey to diagnosis

Our relationships and fibromyalgia

Things to do


Fibrocane supplement

CBT for fibromyalgia worth it?

Emotional awareness expression therapy


Pain in fibromyalgia

Hyperalgesia: this is our major pain as part of the syndrome itself. It is an abnormal sensitivity to pain. The crux of our pain dysfunction.




So is it a disability?

Can it go away?

Will it get worse?

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Shades for Migraine photo contest

For #Shadesformigraine I entered their contest. You win migraine related helpful products which would be very beneficial given I can’t really afford them myself. I am doing well with votes with family but I need a boost in order to get to 10th place which is the last prize place. So if you guys could click and vote I would love that. And you can actually vote every 24 hours if you really want to show the love. There are 10 days left for voting.


The pic I used

WEGO health awards

I have been nominated for two WEGO health awards

Best show: Blogs

Patient leader hero

And you can endorse me for either of these or both I think. Either way, I only have 11 endorsements so I do need a major boost. I have been nominated many times and I do love that people think of me when they do. But I have yet to win. Just a numbers game and I do not promote as much as other people… seems like I am making a bother. But I do want to try at least to give it a real go this year and see what happens. So if you would like to endorse my nominations please consider it by clicking on them.

That is all my friends! Hope you are all having a low pain weekend!

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So I am Canadian, so medicinal and recreational cannabis is legal here. And this gave me the opportunity to give it a go for pain.

  1. Only use it if it is legal
  2. Only use if your doctor is aware
  3. Never use if it is illegal… you have No Idea what they put in there
  4. This is my Personal experience and yours may be different
  5. Be aware if you have anxiety certain strains will make that worse


I gave this a go first. 2 drops under the tongue. Then 5 drops under the tongue. Every day for a month or so. Nada. Did nothing for me in the least bit. Maybe it helps with inflammation but it helped not at all with the high level of pain I have been in lately. So for severe pain… a no-go for me

CBD/THC hybrid oil or pills

Now this combo is what is recommended for pain. The THC gives the CBD the boost we need for pain treatment. I tried hybrids of various blends to try out and some helped a little and some not at all. The ones that helped a little were the pills with more THC than CBD. And I have heard from people that the hybrid works better for chronic pain than just CBD does. Some of the capsules were Indica… and just made me sleep. And sleep is a major issue with severe pain, so that is definitely something to consider. It just wasn’t enough for pain. Might have been enough for my normal pain levels but not this hell.

Pre-rolled joints… just mostly THC

Not daily. Two puffs off the joint when I had a migraine or severe ribcage pain. This was after getting stoned out of my mind and being so painless that I thought… maybe Not getting stoned would Also help. And it totally does. 2 to 3 puff is all I need for great pain management for migraines and FM… and only get a mild buzz from it… so not stoned and still able to do things. Doesn’t do anything for other things like the dizziness and vertigo but can’t win them all, eh? Does help with the extreme nausea I get often.

Not saying this would be the same for everyone out there. And not saying you should do it Illegally. But I am saying this was my experience. I know people whose experience is more on the CBD side, or the oil hybrids work great. But migraines, in particular, are a high level of pain and it seemed more THC the better for them. Same goes for the severe ribcage pain. Maybe for normal FM baseline pain the oil would work fine. Anyway, I do not like the idea of being stoned all the time… so the least amount for the pain-lessening effect the better.

And I have to say for migraines it works as well as an abortive. Except a little slower. So pain dims and dims and dims and then poofs out. But it can come back later in the day, just like with a triptan. And the higher the migraine pain level the more you need to get to that point, but still not really enough to give you more than a mild buzz (like one beer might for someone like me who rarely ever drinks)

Cost is a factor though. And will be telling my doctor about this experience so she can put me on the medicinal pot. Since I was taken off my opiate. I know she isn’t sold on cannabis being any help… but I will tell her, for me, it is definitely a thing to use in addition to preventatives and abortives… (abortives can only be taken 2 times a week which leaves for a Lot of untreated migraines). But then I found out the medicinal isn’t covered… so that is moot.

Critical KUSH

This one worked the best for me. I needed very little. Sort of makes you very unaware of the pain and also if you are tired but cannot sleep due to pain, it helped me sleep. Thing is, not consistent results. Sometimes it helped a little, which is better than nothing. Sometimes it helped a Lot. But of all the ones I tried, it was the best for pain at the level I am experiencing. Not no pain, by all means, but a good reduction. Now the one I used is not the one I found in research. But I have yet to go into a store that may have more strains, just ordering on the Alberta Government site

 BlackBerry Kush Marijuana Strain

The origin of this cannabis originates from California as an indica subspecies with a very large dose of THC that will naturally fall between 17 and 24%.

If you take it, your body will be relaxed. As a result, it is effective for general pain and the high dose leaves you into excessive sleep. 10 best marijuana strains


This sativa-dominant hybrid is a great stimulant, and with a happy quality of sativa, it goes a long way to relieve pain with the presence of 23% THC content.

More to the point, Jack Herer is excellent for reducing inflammation and helps for chronic pain. Want to get the energetic power that you need to carry on with a day-day task with no itch. You have an ideal remedy here. 10 Best Marijuana Strains For Pain

This is a mild blend. So I smoke more than I do with others. It doesn’t make me tired. It actually gives me a bit of energy. But migraine wise, it’ll knock it down a notch but not get rid of it and it will only last for about 3-4 hours before the migraine is back. But for all over pain, I do feel a decent improvement. That is my experience with it, and we are all different. I mean it is worth giving a go and see. I don’t mind it in the sense I do not really feel ‘stoned’ so it is mild that way. And some migraine improvement which is nice on non-triptan days.

  1. I do not want to be stoned, I want to be functional and able to do things with managed pain… that is a fine line
  2. It is out of pocket and with being disabled I have very little actual income so this is not something I would ever be able to use for regular pain management

I do think all options are valid to try. And I think they would even help if my pain levels were not quite as severe as they are. As it is the two strains for pain I found in pre-rolled joints were the best option for me.

Best strains for pain

What are the best strains for chronic pain

What are the best marijuana strains for pain

2019 best strains for pain

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Guest post: Migraines and CBD

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I have been very unwell and it is a difficult time for me really. Rough year. Really rough year. But I just go on day by day.

It is time for A Chronic Voice linkup prompts for July!

  • Justifying
  • Starting
  • Analyzing
  • Concluding
  • Planning


When I was younger with chronic pain I always felt the need to justify it with doctors because they simply believed I was exaggerating. So I became very stoic. Then I simply gave no fucks. But now since my doctor took me off my pain meds and I have been in severe pain and unable to sleep through the night or walk well… And she won’t do a thing about it. Well, I feel like I have to justify my pain Again. And it sucks balls. So I make an appointment with the pain clinic in hopes they can help me manage this severe level of pain.


My Major Depressive Disorder is well treated but this insane pain is making me start to have emotional fluctuations. Sad. Angry as all hell at medical professionals. Frustrated at my incapacity to function. And the sad part… worries me but I know it is situational and reasonable to have bouts of this when I am laid out from pain. I also know to monitor my mood carefully.


I don’t know if I have MS yet. And I won’t know until October. And I just have no clue if I do or not. But I am analyzing these new symptoms closely to see if they are FM or something more ominous.


I am still in limbo with the dizziness and vertigo. If it is MS there is a potential treatment and it pisses me off to no end I cannot get in sooner to get that treatment if that is the case. If that is Not the case… this could be a permanent state of affairs. I will know what to do when I know what it actually IS. Until then I have concluded my focus Must be on pain management.


I have plans for when the vertigo is treated that I cannot do yet. Otherwise, plans are not a thing I can do right now. I have to see how I feel before I agree to anything usually a moment before the actual thing is.

See other A Chronic Voice Prompts




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I have had chronic migraines for about 20 years or so. Ranging between 15 a month to straight up daily. It is a disease that will break you, destroy you, and make you all at the same time. Your life will be forever altered by it. Your goals, ambitions, and dreams will just not be possible. Survival becomes the name of the game. And small pleasures. And ways to cope.

Migraine disease when it is high episodic (close to chronic) and chronic is brutal. This is when it affects literally every aspect of your life.


Work is a common struggle at this point. If we work we have issues with presenteeism (there but not able to function well or at all) and absenteeism (having to miss for severe symptoms). It is very hard to get long term disability for chronic migraines, even though it is Clearly disabling. And some of us cannot afford to be disabled, as it isn’t exactly a living income.

Suicidal ideation

I am not going to lie… it is relentless, it is brutal, it drags you down mentally as you cut parts of your life out to just survive. And eventually, it is just an existence not a life. All about survival and not living. And that is when the depression smacks into when you realize This is your Life. And that was me for a long time; two attempts a lot of suicidal ideation.

And it is then you are in the danger zone for suicidal ideation and intent. Unmanaged pain is dangerous.

Results: The rates of suicidal ideation and suicide attempts were the highest for chronic migraine with aura (ideation: 47.2%; attempts: 13.9%) and lowest in migraine-free controls (2.8%). Migraine frequency was an independent risk factor for suicidal ideation and attempts in patients with aura (both Ptrend < 0.001), but not in patients without auras. Migraine aura and depression were associated with higher risks of suicidal ideation and suicide attempts in patients with migraine.

Conclusion: High migraine frequency has a correlation with high suicide risk in patients who experience an aura, but not in other patients with migraine.

Association of Suicide Risk With Headache Frequency Among Migraine Patients With and Without Aura


Chronic migraines a notoriously difficult to treat. We often go through several preventatives before we find something that sort of slightly does something. And we cannot use our triptan abortive for every migraine. Oh, no, only 2 times a week. And if you get 7 migraines a week… that really doesn’t help much with functionality.

The main treatment for chronic migraine used to be botox and Topomax. I have been told I am ‘unresponsive to medication’… as in I failed at everything they put me on. But we have new hope in the CGRP blocking medications. Aimovig is now available in Canda and when I can afford it, I will give it a go.

Things you will hear a Lot
  • You still get those?
  • You can’t have a migraine All the time.
  • It must be something you are doing causing it
  • It must be something you are not doing causing it
  • They can’t Do anything to help you?
Things people do not get
  • We are very tired
  • We have a hard time concentrating and focusing
  • Light and sound are painful
  • Sometimes we are extremely nauseated and/or have severe bouts of vomiting
  • Sometimes our bowels join in the fun and we have to go to the bathroom 5oo times.
  • It is very hard to fake a facade through the high level of pain and fake a smile
  • We crash and burn after work with nothing left for anything else
  • The fact we are at higher risk for depression and suicide should not be shocking in the least.
  • We can have problems sleeping from the pain and lack of sleep is a migraine trigger
  • We cannot use an abortive for every migraine, and when we can, it doesn’t always work or work all day
  • We can feel trapped and hopeless
  • We feel like we are failing at life
  • Sometimes the pain is just too much to take
  • We often face discrimination in the workplace
  • Stigma is very common with chronic migraines

See more about chronic migraine:

Let’s talk chronic migraine

Chronic migraine awareness day #migrainematters

What I want people to understand about chronic migraine

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