Her: “You know, Honey, I’m really happy we’re together. I love that you like to spend a rainy Sunday reading a book instead of watching hours of football. I love that you don’t mind shopping with me. I love that you totally agree with me that Daughtry’s the best rock singer ever.”
You: “Um, I never said that. You think Daughtry can sing. I think he’s a rip-off. I’m waiting for Bowie to come back to town, but anyway…”
Her: “So, listen, I’ve been thinking – since we’ve been seeing each other for three whole months and we’re so compatible and doing so well and all, I thought it’d be nice to have you meet my parents.”
Her: “My folks are really great and they’ve been asking me to bring you by for dinner.”
Her: “Honey? Baby?! Dar-ling?!?! Can you hear me? Did you fall a-sleep? Good God, You’ve passed out!!! You need a washcloth!!! You need oxygen!!! You need a doctor – stat!!!”
Look, you dig her. You share the same interests. She makes you laugh. She thinks you’re funny, even when you do that Chris Farley In-A-Van-Down-By-The-River schtick for the three hundredth time. She looks killer in her jeans, wears the hell out of strapless dress and is puts a downright hurt on a pair of leather boots. Your friends think she’s hot and cool. You’ve been having some serious thoughts about her… like a future. And, my man, part of that future includes her parents.
Now before you recall Ben Stiller and get your boxers in a bunch thinking how you’d handle her Dad if he’s anything like Robert DeNiro, Be Better Guys is going to use our experience to help you get through this, how shall we say, massive moment of potential discomfort.
There is But One, and Only One, Mission.
Get Mom to love you and Dad to accept you. Keep this in mind at all times and remember, you’re the one who’s with their beloved daughter day in and day out now that she’s all grow’ed up. Ultimately, they want to like you as much you want to like them; it’s in their best interest to like you (unless you lead a biker gang and run a fight club out of a warehouse in East Oakland). Mom and Dad want to get to know the guy their daughter loves… and sleeps with. Everyone’s feeling each other out here, kind of like when you deep-sea dive with a school of tiger sharks, they’re as curious about you as you are about them. It’s your job to make sure they know you don’t bite.
Know Some History.
If you’ve been with your girl for more than 3 and ½ hours, you probably know if her parents have been together for a while, are re-married (and are now on the 4th go ‘round), have other kids (like her brother who was the inspiration for the weird dude in black from “The Wedding Crashers”), and maybe even what they do for a living (Dad, a retired Army Major General, Mom, a corporate CEO – tough couple). It’s OK to ask your woman in advance if Mom’s serious and stoic or Dad’s funny and likes a good party (like party Dads Hugh Hefner, David Hasselhoff and Nick Nolte). Better to get the “situational awareness” before going in than asking Dad what his favorite Scotch is, only to find out he’s a recovering alcoholic who’s been on the wagon for 13 years. Who’s your girl closer to, Mom or Dad? If you don’t know the basics, have your girl brush you up so you don’t go in unprepared and come out like a complete boob .
Get to Know Mom.
Mom could be your biggest ally. Period. In most homes, Mom runs the show, no matter how much Dad thinks he’s in control. She’s the one who will lobby for you if you get on Dad’s bad side. Plus she’ll be the one who calls you to invite you for future dinners and family stuff. Politically, go straight for Mom. She’s “El Jefe.”
Compliment the “First Lady.” Don’t go overboard with the “You look way more lovely in person than in those pictures we have all over our apartment!” or “Emeril Lagasse has nothing on your cooking, Mrs. Cunningham!” But just eat the dinner, all of it, even if it belongs served in a plastic dish next to Spot’s dogbowl.
Clear the table after you eat. Huge points for helping out. Don’t juggle seven plates at a time like you’re working at Maggiano’s. Just step forward and be helpful.
Offer to do the dishes, as well. Mom will demand that you go spend time with Dad, but you’ll score even more points just for asking. If Mom accepts your offer, do yourself a favor and do a good job on the cleaning.
Small talk with Mom — Mom’s family, where’s she from, how long Mom and Dad have been in the house, any vacations planned, how long they’ve owned the crappy Shitzu that keeps nipping at your pants leg.
Get to Know Dad.
Ever heard the phrase “Daddy’s Little Girl”? That’s who you’re sleeping with every night, Pumpkin. You are replacing Dad as the man in your girl’s world. Understand how important this is to Dad and show him what a Better Guy you really are.
You have a unique opportunity. This is a chance for you to either be the son Dad never had or the better son – better than Brother Derek, who dropped out of school to smoke weed and live in a van in Woodstock, New York, waiting for Phish to reunite. Be cool, be low-key, be charming, don’t fawn all over the man, and be in the moment. And remember, just like with a job interview, don’t ever, ever be cocky. He’ll throw you out on your ass before he’ll let you ever see his daughter again.
Address him as Sir or Mr. “insert-last-name-here” until he tells you otherwise. Always. It’s a sign of respect and will win you points.
Topics in play – hobbies, sports, his job, your job, his family, your family, the house he lives in, your education, cars, where you grew up, where he grew up, and generic topics in the news.
Topics out of bounds – religion, politics, your debt, and stories of excessive drinking, smoking, or speeding. And if you ever bring up what you did to his daughter last night that involved that new thong you bought her, ice cubes and candle wax, you’ll find out quickly how fast you have to fly to outrun his shotgun!
What To Bring.
You know never to arrive empty-handed, however the best thing to bring is flowers. Present them to Mom. Assuming it’s appropriate (reference “Know Some History” above), it’s also nice to bring a bottle of wine. Doesn’t have to be cellar material, just something that could be uncorked with dinner.
The Right Way to Exit.
Shake hands firmly and confidently with both Mom and Dad and thank them profusely for their warmth and generosity for inviting you into their home. Mean it. Look ‘em dead in the eye when you do. If they offer to hug it out instead, you just got the seal of approval. If they kiss you, you just won the lottery (especially if it’s Dad who plants one on you). You can now go home and “celebrate” with their daughter — job well done.
Send a thank-you note.
Send it out the very next day. On nice stationery and not some cheesy Hallmark “Thanks!” card. Make it brief, and say what a pleasure it was to meet them, how much you appreciated their hospitality, and how you’d love to take Dad up on his offer to hit the fairway at Daddy’s club next weekend.
Mom and Dad want the best for their girl. It’s a tough world out there and they want to know that their little girl’s in safe, responsible, respectable hands. You have to nail that initial first impression, show good manners, and muster up some genuine interest in these people. You may actually like them… at least enough to survive the potential annual nine-hour Thanksgiving extravaganza in your future.
More and more men are staying childfree by choice, not chance. Here’s a case for ignoring the stigma around childlessness.
Guys who choose not to have kids are at a societal disadvantage. Hollywood portrays fatherhood as a heroic act. The tax system favors parents. People who want to be parents think childfree guys are just selfish. But more and more guys are choosing to opt for a childfree existence rather than take on the responsibility of parenthood. A recent study of Harvard graduates found that one-third have chosen to stay childless. In the UK, a study of the general male population put the figure at 30%. In Norway—a country with one of the highest birth rates in the world—the number of men who are childless at age 45 rose from 14 percent in 1985 to 25 percent in 2018.
Clearly the stigma that goes along with childlessness is fading. Here are some of the top reasons men are staying child-free by choice, not chance:
To Be A Better Husband.
A child won’t necessarily make your relationship with your wife better. It could make it worse. Childfree couples can travel when the want; have sex when they want; and go out for a long night out without calling the babysitter. Having a child will not just mean increased responsibility but it also gives couples another thing to argue about. Not wanting to have children does not make a guy selfish; it makes him more focused on his relationship. And in the event of a relationship breakdown, childfree gents don’t run the risk of staying in a failed relationship for the kids or having their children go through a painful divorce.
Everybody with sperm doesn’t have to have a child more than everybody with vocal cords doesn’t have to become an opera singer.
Career Comes First.
People used to question whether women could have it all: a successful career and children. But now that men are taking equal responsibility for the child-rearing, they too must make career sacrifices to become a father. The kind of guys who will sacrifice sleep and a social life to get ahead in the office are exactly the kind of guys who should consider a childfree life. Children will force you to alter your priorities. And if you don’t make your kids a top priority, they will resent you. Complete career focus requires forgoing kids. But focusing on one’s career isn’t as selfish as it sounds; your work may help a greater number of people than the number of kids you will have. As Francis Bacon once advised, “the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried, or childless men.”
Kids Are Expensive.
The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimatesthat the average American family with an income level between about $60,000 and $105,000 per year will spend about $235,000 on a child. And that’s just the average kid. (Donating that $235,000 to charity will help many more people. Or you could embrace your selfish side and take long, expensive vacations or retire by 50.)
Too Much Pressure To Be A Good Parent.
Everybody with sperm doesn’t have to have a child more than everybody with vocal cords doesn’t have to become an opera singer. Some people are just naturally better parents than others. Taking responsibility for another human life can be the ultimate anxiety trigger. If you’re the type of person who has to check three times to see if you’ve locked the door, the pressures of parenthood could be too much to handle. Parenthood is the ultimate Catch-22 — leave them alone and they hurt themselves, watch every second to see if they’re breathing and they won’t be able to date or get a job.
Childfree Guys Are Happier.
Common wisdom tells us that children are the keys to happiness. Wrong. According to a Vanderbilt University study, people with kids report more depressive symptoms. This is even true when their kids have grown and left home, when the parents adopt, or when they don’t have custody of their children. This is not surprising. Parenthood is hard. It requires cleaning up vomit, forgoing sleep, and spending money on a person you may not even like. Forget the Leave It To Beaver vision of the nuclear family; most parents will at some point resent their children. The data is in: Happiness is a vasectomy.
So many different scents can drive women wild. I used to know a girl who’d lose it every time she got a whiff of Skittles. I don’t mean the panties came off or anything—just that the scent put her in such a happy place that any guy interested in her would be a fool not to take note (I sure did!). In fact, Yankee Candle should take note, too. Be forewarned, this list is going to run the gamut, from colognes to candles and a few things in between… even the air freshener scent you choose for your ride. Cuz, boys, that all counts.
Does she immediately think a Margarita is coming? I mean, I guess it depends upon the woman really. For a time, lime was being added to a lot of men’s after shaves. It is certainly a subtle smell, but it’s both familiar and soothing with the added benefit of somehow injecting a bit of summer into the air.
A survey done some years back asking women what scents they loved the most yielded this surprising winner. Yes, winner. The potential reasons why are limitless when you stop and think about it. It’s a masculine scent, but it also makes one think of high-end, sink-in-deep furniture, or even the interior of a fine automobile. Heck, it can remind a young lady of the saddle she threw on the horse she rode in her youth! Whatever the reason, leather pleases the lady.
Look, I didn’t even know musk is a scent; I thought it was another word for scent until I began doing research for this article. Lo and behold, one researcher described it as such: “Basically just male pheromones concentrated.” Good enough for me, how about you? Perhaps this is why it has been used in aftershaves and colognes since time began. Also, if your last name is Musk you can run with that, too. How’s Uncle Elon?
She’ll love it on your breath (via chewing gum, mint or even an aperitif), in your car and also in your home. It’s crisp, it cuts through odors only men can create and it the person who encounters it always immediately breathes it in. Deeply.
Will she peel those panties off right then and there? Not likely. But, “Christmas Tree” is one of Yankee Candle’s biggest sellers scent-wise, with customers touting it as the “perfect candle to buy for your man.” So you’ve got two choices: Wait for someone to give it to you (maybe mom, or your sister?) or go out and buy one and have that sucker lit when the lady you’re wooing comes over for dinner.
No, I am not suggesting you go and roll around in the dirt for a little bit. But getting your hands dirty might not hurt either. Studies have shown that “earthy scents like sandalwood, patchouli and rosewood are commonly associated with masculinity, and that women respond to this, as the earthy aroma warms the body and increases feelings of well-being.” I don’t know about patchouli, but sandalwood evidently “resembles andosterone, which is a chemical that is secreted from male underarms.” This same study concluded that women subconsciously link the scent of sandalwood with andosterone, which elevates their attraction to men and sexual desire.
Calvin Klein Eternity
Come on, Calvin has earned our trust by now. Any cologne from Klein is money in the bank—or, rather, money you should take out of the bank. A recent survey had a hundred women, ages 21 to 50, jotting down their favorite colognes and Eternity is the one that came out on top, though. I know, I know… Eternity can be an intimidating, off-putting word. But Calvin has been at it for about that long, so forgive him.
Christian Dior Sauvage
Is it a typo? Or have all us guys been misspelling “savage” all these years? Who knows and who cares? The ladies polled in the aforementioned study put this one at the top of the list, too. One even said, “It smells like making love in the woods with a man you want to get lost with.” Um, OK. I don’t know how it manages that or even what that would smell like, but talk about #goals.
Salvatore Ferragamo — F By Ferragamo Black
Oft-associated with being pricey, this particular fragrance—another favorite of the women surveyed—is actually one of the most affordable. Plus, it has been marketed and described by fans as “long-lasting” (five to six hours). “Long” and “lasting” are obviously two words that you want the ladies to associate with you.
These ladies also singled out Versace Pour Homme, noting the citrus wonder of it all. Interestingly, citrus actually came up repeatedly in three, count ’em three,different studies. So have some OJ or grapefruit juice handy at all times!
W hile many a young gent may see the double date as “safe,” or even simply the smarter way to go, should things not click for one half (or one quarter, really), disaster awaits. And yet, in the hands of deft wooers and pursuers, it can be a thing of beauty to witness. As long as you steer clear of the following…
The movie double date is now for first-time parents and seniors, period. It’s a puzzle best assembled by couples who’ve been together ages, double all the time and, quite frankly, are on the brink of totally washing their hands of romance.
Hitting On Your Pal’s Date
The flirting will be inevitable. Those tried-and-true “We should switch” and “I should be with yours” jokes—even the ladies will make a few. Know when to stop, though. And, for Pete’s sake, should you come to the realization that you actually are with the wrong one, or simply prefer the other, that’s a conversation for you and your friend to have. Privately. Don’t just go for it, moron.
Bros in Front, Ladies in the Rear
Are you forcing two strangers together, two women you’re hoping will click, as you’re at ease with your best bud? That’s great! But it doesn’t mean they need to be stuck in the back seat of a vehicle, while you two are cranking Foo Fighters in the front and talking about The Walking Dead. You can get there eventually, but let them decide if they genuinely like each other first, rather than forcing them to prematurely decide they don’t.
Going to the Movies
What is this, 1985? The movie double date is now for first-time parents and seniors, period. Why would you do it anyway? The chaos when selecting seats, conversations over each other’s heads and of course the potential pitfalls of simply picking a flick all four of you will appreciate. It’s a puzzle best assembled by couples who’ve been together ages, double all the time and, quite frankly, are on the brink of totally washing their hands of romance.
The double-date is tricky enough in the first place—why make a person (or two) feel that much more on the periphery by playing Remember When? Shouting out catchphrases that only one out of four can catch is a surefire way for a young lady to suddenly get a headache and need to get home early. And let’s also forget reminiscing about the last time the two of you went on a double date, no matter how genuinely hilarious a tale it might be. The ladies don’t wanna be regaled with tag team tales. You’re players, we get it.
Getting Names Wrong
C’mon, brutha. There’s only two of ‘em, and one is on your arm for the night. If you can’t come up with some way to remember twonames, thereby calling each of these ladies by the correct one, and especially not swapping their names out, it might be best to take yourself off the scene altogether for a while. Or, at the very least, let your buddy—who isgetting it right—fly solo from now on.
That’s right: Don’t hold back. If your boy doesn’t know his way around a dance floor, don’t let that prevent youfrom getting out there—especially if you do. If he’s not about a game of pool or a karaoke challenge, yet these are the areas in which you shine, you gotta leave him be. Point is, you still have to be youon a date—even if it’s a double one. And also, maybe reevaluate why you’re friends with this guy in the first place.
Picking Up the Whole Tab
You’re in this thing together, squiring these ladies around town and hopefully showing them a good time. Just one of you picking up the whole tab? No good. Best case, you’re very successful and generous and your friend is comfy in his own skin—but he’ll still come off looking Joey Tribiani pathetic. Worst case, you just come off looking like a show off. Just split it 50-50 and let the romance roll on.
There are no guarantees here—just some suggestions that, if executed properly, may lead her back into those waiting arms of yours. Sadly, the good ol’ days when a guy (or gal) could use the perfunctory response to an accusation of infidelity, “Show me the proof,” are long gone. Thanks to those devices none of us can live without (you know, cell phones), pictures, screenshots of texts, taped conversations, check-ins at questionable establishments via social media, random Venmo transactions and everything in between is that proof. So, let’s just skip to the you-got-caught part and start there. Here’s what to do
Honesty really canbe the best policy and, what’s more, it usually is. It’s just, not if that honesty is, “She was just so hot” or “I’ve never had a redhead.” These things may be true, of course, and you would be being honest, but that ain’t the kind of honesty that reaps rewards. Were you down about something and your girl trivialized it, so you wound up purging with someone more than willing to listen? Were you angry, even justifiably so, by something your girlfriend did? There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I was angry, I lashed out, I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, and I hope you can accept that.” Obviously, the thing she did that hurt you has to be significant…
Blame it on the… alcohol?
Maybe even a harder substance? It should go without saying that there can’t be a pattern here, but if she’s had her own dances with the bottle or, again, something harder, she may be capable of being sympathetic—even empathetic—to your plight. You got plastered and did something you wouldn’t ordinarily do in your right mind. It happens.
Buy her flowers.
Trite? Sure. But how about this: It’s trite for a reason. What you write in the card will be key, too. Don’t overdo it. Keep it short and sweet. And definitely don’t make a promise that you might not end up keeping. That’s a heartbreaker and the birthplace of the whole “do it once, shame on you; do it twice, shame on me” thing. “I love you. I blew it.” Or, “I hope you can forgive me, but I understand if you can’t.” Then, my friend, give her space, and lots of it.
Leave her alone.
I mean, not so alone that she thinks you don’t give a shit, or so alone that she gets bored out of her mind and winds up going out three nights in a row in total revenge mode. Just don’t hound her. Being able to say you’re sorry, and mean it, is huge. Many people are simply incapable. But saying it repeatedly, over and over via voicemail, text, unannounced visits to her place—that almost never works.
Sure, she may have ticked you off, blown you off, even made you jealous—maybe even intentionally. But you were the one who cheated and got caught. Own it. You can plug in one of those reasons as to why you did it (see #1), but please, pleasedon’t be the guy who flips it all in an effort to get her on the apologizing end. “You think I wanted to do that? To be with her? You made me feel like such a loser, you practically shoved me into her bed!” Ugh. Owning it shows character.
Let her have her turn.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander and all that, right? Tell her that if she needs to keep the playing field level and have a romp of her own, then go right ahead. Temper this suggestion with assurances that you don’t think of her as a woman who can just do something like that, treat infidelity and intimacy in general in such a flip manner, but that you’re willing to go along with this if she is, all in the name of reconciliation. She can just keep the who, where and when to herself. Because that night would be maddening for you, bro.
Take her on a vacation.
Time away alone has been proven to be the ultimate reconnection solution and, oftentimes, that lacking alone time is what can lead to a dalliance in the first place. It may not be the sexiest vacation you’ve ever been on (and don’t count on it being sex-filled). But offer it up as exactly what it is: a chance to get away, alone, see what’s still there, no longer there, attainable and unattainable. Furthermore, go the distance and put two beds, or even two rooms, on the table. She’ll appreciate the sincerity. And if she goes for the latter, just make sure they’re adjoining.
Put her sister/friend in the middle.
If you’ve got a champion in all this (her bestie, roomie, sibling, even co-worker), and they’re a fan of yours and don’t want to see the two of you go your separate ways, don’t be afraid to get them on the job. Fact is, if they’ve forgiven you, and see you worthy of another shot, then she probably will, too. Reach out, ask them what they think you should do, and then put it out there that anything they can do on your behalf would be much appreciated as well.
Acknowledge that you’re going to have to regain her trust, and tell her you’re totally up for doing so. Clean slate the sucker. Tell her she can set up the rules and you will follow them to a T. If that means back to square one, contact will be sparse to start and sex is definitely off the table indefinitely, then so be it. Show her what you’re made of because, at that exact moment, you know what she thinks you’re a piece of….
Look, playa, if you’ve made it this far, and if you’re that intent on winning her back, has it ever dawned on you that she may just be the one? So, take it to the next level! Suggest moving in together or, yeah, propose. Maybe don’t have the ring handy, though; it sets a dangerous precedent that you think you can buy your way out of everything and can result in her expecting a trinket every time you screw up. But simply tell her this whole fiasco has an upside and that upside is you realizing she’s the one. And mean it.
Should I try online dating? Where can I find good dating tips online?
If you plan to try online dating, but you cannot really bother to do it; Maybe you should just jump and try.
There are many people – busy people, shy people, people from rural areas – who have a good reason not to find it easy to meet new people; and if you also want to expand your knowledge, online dating may be the answer.
It’s a way to expand your social circle without having to brave the bar and club scene. And if you asked yourself the question “Should I try online dating?” but you have always found excuses so far that prevented you from trying it; Well, maybe your reasons are not as good as you think.
This is not prudent
Think about it rationally. Why should it be less safe than a blind date or meet someone at a bar? You can spend a lot of time chatting online before deciding to meet them. You will learn a lot about them before you even meet. You can also keep your personal information confidential until you feel comfortable revealing it and agreeing to set a date.
I already meet a lot of people
While this is true, online dating can only help. This does not mean that you have to stop looking for love among the people you meet in your daily life; and even if you are considering a few possible dates, there is no guarantee that they will prove to be Mr. Right. Consider online dating as another way to increase your chances of finding The One.
I’m too busy to go out right now
You may be too busy looking around bars or going to nightclubs, but anyone can find time to use the Internet – and meet someone who, in his opinion, is worth it. If your life is really fulfilled, online dating is a very effective use of your valuable time that could produce a very positive result. Travel time, your lunch break and a few quiet nights are opportunities to navigate online profiles. You can chat messages from your smartphone at any time.
I’m not ready to go out
Then, first, try to register with certain social groups and get an idea of what it’s like to meet people online. Remember that you can have everything you want to do with these people, so you can take things at a pace that you feel comfortable with. There are many social sites and forums focused on friendship and shared interests rather than dating. You can make new friends, have fun and be ready to go online dating with confidence when you feel ready.
It’s too expensive
Many sites allow you to sign up and browse for free, even if you usually have to pay to create your own profile or meet the profiles you like. But most of the fees are quite reasonable, though some very specialized or exclusive sites may charge a premium. Normally, you would spend less than at a party. And you may find that this money is much better spent too!
I cannot trust someone I met online
Well, are you so sure you can always trust someone you’ve met offline either? No matter how you meet people, it’s always possible that they turn out to be fooled, irresponsible or fluffy. In both cases, you need to trust what your instinct tells you and, if someone gives you a bad feeling or a bad mood, avoid it in the future.
It’s just for crazy people and crazy people
Any reputable dating site is jealous of its reputation and has protective measures to eliminate people who cause anger or offense to its online community. And in their own interest, most Internet users are vigilant when it comes to reporting inappropriate or suspicious behavior. You should not feel less safe than on the street.
Only the desperate resort to online dating
Once, but not these days. Nowadays, all kinds of people use online dating, and many of them are like you. They see it as a safe way to introduce themselves to people they would never meet otherwise and who could become great friends or even the love of their lives. You can find like-minded people who love the same things as you and you choose the people you want to meet. What does not love?
I am too different/unusual/eccentric to find someone who shares my interests
If you are truly unique, then the Internet is the perfect place to find someone who shares your originality. You can not only include your unusual interests in your profile, but there are also online dating sites for all kinds of cultural, spiritual, intellectual and physical interest groups. And if your niche is not covered yet – well, start yours!
I am too old to go out online
Not today! People of all ages find themselves single these days, and you’re never too old to start again. Even people over the age of 90 have been motivated to surf the internet and find love online, and if they are not too old then you are not. Life is too short to miss one of the best opportunities to find new love.
All these excuses have been around for years, but we are in the 21st century and online dating is commonplace. Should I try online dating? If you really want to increase your chances of finding Mr. Right, then the answer must be Yes. Whatever your reasons for not having met the good man so far, no one is too busy to go out with you. So, try it out and see for yourself the possibilities it can offer that will increase your chances of finding Mr. Right.
Once you have found a great man online, what are the secrets to maintaining good relationships?
How do you maintain momentum and increasing attraction?
Get some ideas on the tips to attract men and spice up your love life here
There is a joy that every person can relate to from their childhood that you experience when you complete a puzzle. In the real game of life and finding happiness your friendships consume a large portion of the puzzle. You think you have found all of the right pieces and then when you go to put it together some have the wrong rounded edges. You try to squeeze or manipulate those pieces into fitting and all they do is rough up the other edges of your puzzle. You have to come to a place where you accept those pieces are not going to fit, throw them out, and keep searching for the right ones.
You cannot live a positive life with negative people and influences in your life, period. Negative people attract negative people.
When the pieces are not fitting and you are feeling sorry for yourself and your situation, the only way you know how to feel better is to engage in conversation about someone else and their puzzle.
We usually leave these conversations feeling better about ourselves because we talked about someone else’s shortcomings and issues instead of talking about what we are struggling with and how we can improve.
If you are looking for happiness through other’s misery you will never find it.
People who gossip about other people need to be removed from your life.
Be the person who speaks the truth. Do not sugar coat because you fear offending someone. When you begin to speak the truth, your voice will earn respect. Your friends should know that when they ask for your opinion they are going to get the real, raw, and honest answer. An answer that comes from a compassionate and loving place. Be the puzzle piece that fits perfectly into your friend’s puzzle.
Seek honest friends, those are the people who will truly have you. An honest friend’s voice is pure, it will not always be what you want to hear, but it will always be spoken with the best of intentions.
If your friends do not motivate and inspire you to reach your full potential, you need new friends. Stop making excuses for them. You are who you surround yourself with. If you want to live a fulfilled life the people around you should be encouragers, motivators, dreamers, and doers. Seek these people in your life and invest in those who invest in you. Do not spend time worrying about people who do not worry about you.
We have been here. We have wasted a lot time gossiping and judging about others, instead of investing time into finding the puzzle pieces that fit right into our puzzle and being the right piece to fit into someone else’s. One of the most valuable lessons we have learned on our journey is that as you remove negativity from your life, you allow more room for growth.
There are so many distractions in this world like gossip, social media, work, addictions, family, and even friends. It is up to you what you allow into your life and what you don’t.
On these days nothing is worse than discovering that the person you go out with is a Trump supporter. They did not talk about politics at the first time, but in a country like ours, this topic cannot be avoided. Instead of stealing a date with one of Trump’s hosts, online dating completely eliminates them. These are the best anti-Trump conservative dating sites for liberals on the lookout!
NeverTrump.Dating is a new dating site for liberals looking for a relationship with someone who despises the president as much as they do. Developed by a political start-up called the American Liberal Council, the site was developed in response to the pro-Trump website, Trump. Dating, best known for using the photo of a convicted sex offender on the homepage of the website. The Conservative dating website also made headlines that it only allows people to register as a woman or a man of race. On the contrary, NeverTrump.Dating homepage says:
Unlike political opposition, we keep our doors open. Whatever your sexual orientation, race or beliefs, there is a place for you on NeverTrump.Dating. The extreme right can do its best to put us in a box and deprive us of all our rights, but it will eventually lose, and our victory begins with couples united in social justice. Let’s make the world a better home, two Liberals at a time.
When Donald Trump first announced his candidacy for the presidency, Americans began to joke about their move to Canada. When he won, many began to consider the movement seriously. This is where MapleMatch.com comes in. The online dating app combines anti-Trump Americans with single Canadians who will make transferring to a new country much more manageable. If Trump manages to stay out of jail and put his name on the ballot for the 2020 elections, chances are the dating site will explode. Here’s how they describe the application:
Thanks to Maple Match, it’s easy for single Americans to find the perfect Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of the Trump presidency.
Trump’s hatred should not be the only reason to look into a politically designated dating site. Sometimes it’s nice to have the same political interests as those you choose with which you go out, that’s where DemocratSingles.com comes in. Perfect for older Democrats and Liberals who do not understand how to use whimsical apps I will lead the games to their first ever politically correct game. This website was created long before Trump seized the White House, but it seems to be much more relevant than ever before. They describe the site as:
Democrat Singles lets single Liberals and Democrats find their politically correct match. Whether you are a member of the American Democratic Party or just a supporter, this site will help you meet men and women who think like you. Join the best dating site to meet singles! Who knows … you can meet the love of your life!
What began as a dating app designed for women has grown into a lot more, as Bumble now helps users make friends and business connections. In the 2016 presidential election, the spirits behind this ingenious app added filters to each user’s profile picture to show those he supported. Talk about time-saving! Those looking for a match could see while they swept where the other person was part of the political spectrum, even if it was “#IGAF” or “Pizza for President”. The application, which forces women to take the first step, is described as:
Bumble is more than an application, it’s a movement. We encourage integrity, kindness, equality, trust, and respect at all stages of any relationship, online or offline. Bumble is where people will learn to build and maintain healthier relationships.
Being in a monogamous relationship is certainly not for everyone. Some people choose to never commit themselves to anyone, while others find themselves in relationships that are completely against their nature.
The alternatives to exclusivity are bountiful. Polyamory, for instance, is the practice of being in multiple loving relationships with multiple people. There are various ways in which people can be polyamorous, like having multiple sexual partners, same-sex partners or emotional relationships with other people. But polyamory adds an additional level of complexity to the already convoluted world of dating. That’s why it’s pertinent that you set some ground rules for yourself before diving in.
For starters, be brutally honest with yourself and others you are sharing this lifestyle with. For a lot of people, the issue with monogamy is feeling like you are trapped living a life that is not conducive to who you are, which can often lead to lying. If you want to be happy, and find people to be happy with, you have to let your guard down and just be real.
Don’t force anyone into a box, and don’t let anyone force you into one either. One of the biggest rules of polyamory is not to have so many rules. Starting things off by telling a partner they can only date you and one other person, for instance, and that they must treat you both the exact same way, doesn’t leave room for a whole lot of experimentation or growth. Rather than forcing polyamory, much like you may have forced monogamy, let the lifestyle come to you, and define it as it unravels.
With that said, you should know what you want to some extent. And, of course, what you don’t want. Try to answer what your preferred polyamorous relationship would look like, what you hope the lifestyle can add to your life, what challenges you may face and how willing you are to work through them, as well as how you will work through them.
And while it can be easy to do, don’t keep score. Calling someone out for sleeping with another person more times than with you, or going on more dates, is counterintuitive at best. Love, sex and emotional connections shouldn’t have to be measured by numbers. Sex 10 times a day may not even add up to one incredible, mind-blowing sexual act one day a week. Knowing your desires and boundaries is one thing, but making a game out of a very real thing is dangerous. Be mindful and respectful, always.
The whole guy and his girl hitting a strip joint together thing is perplexing. How did it happen? When did it start, and who was at the forefront? Was it a scene in a bad Ryan Reynolds rom-com, before he became Deadpool? Why would any sane man want to do such a thing?
Sure, watching your girl get a lap dance can be sexy. For, like, a minute. And “Pour Some Sugar On Me” is at least three minutes long.
Here are just a few reasons to reconsider your grand plans.
You’re setting a dangerous precedent. The strip club at at one time was an escape from all things “relationship,” but you’ve now conveyed to your lady that no place is off limits. It’s the equivalent of inviting the neighborhood cutie up into the treehouse you and your boys have deemed the “He-Man Woman Hater’s Club,” complete with slingshots and soapbox cars.
Did You Just Request TLC?
Did “Waterfalls” really just come on in the place where you’ve been enjoying watching sexy-ass dancers take it all off to GNR, Def Leppard and AC/DC? What craziness is this? Oh, it’s just your girlfriend requesting some awful music as your rock ’n’ roll naked lady getaway. Nice job.
She Hates It
Your girl may think she knows what she’s getting into, but all she’s seen are toned-down strip club scenes movies. The next thing you know, she’s totally disgusted by the club, you and your friends, and your next get-together is awkward AF. Awesome.
Your Boys Hate It
Did you ever stop to think about them? You might be able to cut loose, but maybe they’re now crippled by your lady’s presence. Or, worse, they feel even crappier about their own relationships because their girlfriend would never be “so cool.” You really opened a can of worms, Junior.
It Actually Catches On
On the flip side, your night at your crew’s fave strip joint could go so swimmingly, the other guys decide to bring their girls too. Now it’s couples night. Everywhere you look there is a guy, his girl and glasses of friggin’ white wine. You’ve given Jake’s Den of Iniquity a complete overhaul. It’ll probably be called Jake’s Cool Couple Cafe in no time.
So you whisked her into the inner sanctum, the belly of the beast. Now she’d like to return the favor. Are you ready for her book club, where her gal pals swill merlot and swoon over Nicholas Sparks? Your Fight Club suggestion will be promptly shot down, by the way. Or maybe it’s paint night or even Stitch ’n’ Bitch, a hella cool concept where women who like to knit gather and knit together and, you know, complain. Have fun with that one, buddy!