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Today, we have a great article about becoming your most confident self from Glittered by Cassie. Glittered by Cassie is a Beauty & Lifestyle blog that focuses on helping millennial women create their own confidence and kick their self-doubt aside while drinking copious amounts of delicious lattes. Below is the article. Enjoy!

 

You know that feeling when you get something right on a test that you didn’t think you would get right in a million years? There’s a massive sense of excitement and self-confidence. You nailed it! It was all you, girl. Go YOU!!! Well, I’m all about that confident feeling. Nothing makes me happier than feeling accomplished at something. We spend many days criticizing every move we make, so when we have moments of confidence, we are unstoppable. That’s why I’m sharing 7 ways to become your most confident self so that you can go through life kicking butt!

1.) Wear your best clothes

This one sounds a little vain right? Agreed. But, you know how the saying goes… “When you look good, you feel good.” I have this dress that compliments my body to a tee. I LOVE this dress. It hugs my curves just right and I feel so pretty when I wear it. Every time I wear this outfit, my mood is automatically boosted and my confidence is prominent. Why can’t we wear the same dress everyday?!

 

2.) Say your favorite confident mantras out loud

I get it… You’re not into mantras. We sound silly telling ourselves these things out loud right? Wrong. We may sound silly on an outside perspective, but, this is one of the best ways to remind yourself of how truly awesome you are. Plus, when you encourage yourself each day, it becomes habit. That, my friend, is when you start to become your most confident self.

 

3.) Practice self-care

You read in my recent post that self-care is super important for your mind, body, and soul. Well, practicing self-care can boost your self-esteem too! When you take care of yourself, you learn to love yourself. I recommend practicing self-care at least once a day. Even if it’s doing something small for yourself. Take an hour to draw a hot bubble bath and read your favorite book or hit the nearest park to do some soul-searching. Whatever you choose to do, do it for you.

4.) Get social

I know this can be hard for some of us introverts out there. We like our comfort zones and all we want to do is snuggle with our fur babies and binge watch Netflix. Girl, I get it! However, it is important to get out and socialize with actual human beings. When we surround ourselves around other positive minds, we are influenced by their personalities and their actions. Plus, having fun with friends never hurt anyone. This is guaranteed to boost your self-confidence because you will have a sense of belonging.

 

5.) Self-Therapy Note Pad

When we don’t schedule a therapy session, because, let’s be real, nobody has time for that these days it’s time to take this task into our own hands. I recommend grabbing your favorite notebook or even snatching this super cute self therapy pad and go to work on some serious self discovery. Trust me when I say that once you get to know yourself on a deeper lever, you WILL become your most confident self. Write down everything from what is frustrating you to what makes you glow. Here are some examples: Lately, I feel as if I have nothing to offer. My lack of motivation has put me behind on some serious goals. Another example: I love that I can make my friends laugh. This makes me feel like I have an impact on the world. Get into it no matter how silly it seems. Tell yourself how you feel and why you feel this way. This will help you gain clarity on what areas you want to improve on and the areas you are happy with.

6.) Binge Watch An Inspiring TV Series or Movie

Who doesn’t love some Netflix time? Watch something that inspires you to become your most confident self. When I was going through the motions a while back and I felt so lost and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life I watched Girl Boss. If you haven’t read the book or seen the Netflix series, I highly recommend it. This movie gave me a sense of heroism and inspiration. It showed me that no matter how messy our lives get, we can always push through the crap and kick some serious ass! If Sophia Amoruso can do it, so can we, right?

7.) Cut yourself some slack

We often focus on all the things we do wrong. People around us do the same. If we mess up at work, we get lectured, but if we do something great, it goes unnoticed (depending on your boss). We are influenced to tell ourselves we need to do better. The truth is that we are only human. We are going to screw up, a lot. We need to remember to notice the amazing things we accomplish and not beat ourselves up every time we make a mistake.

When we practice these steps, we will start to become our most confident self. What other ways do you practice to gain more self-confidence?



The post 7 Ways To Become Your Most Confident Self appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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You know when it happens to you. You can feel it as soon as you wake up. You. are. dreading. going. to. work. You check to see if, maybe, just maybe you have a temperature so that you can call in sick.

Feeling this way on occasion is perfectly normal. If you have a big project or presentation, you may feel a little anxiety about it.

You could just be going through a professional rough patch. Maybe things are stressful at work with a new boss or strategic direction. Other times things just get boring and stale because nothing has changed.

But feeling that dread in the pit of your stomach on a regular basis can be symptomatic of a much larger problem.

Sometimes, what you’re feeling is the undeniable knowledge that it’s time for a professional change.

Here are some signs that you have the BIG problem. The one that requires a job change.

You don’t feel appreciated or respected in your current environment.

One of our most basic needs as people is to feel as if we belong – to our community and within our workplace. To connected as human beings to your colleagues is a natural desire, and if you find  yourself failing to connect with your colleagues, this can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety and depression.

In turn, when you fail to feel that you belong, your self-esteem may suffer, leading to an inferiority complex and further cause a downward spiral of loneliness, anxiety and depression.

If you are feeling that you are not appreciated for the work that you do, or you’re not part of your office tribe, it may be time to start looking for a new opportunity. The long-term impact of loneliness, anxiety and depression on your career will never be worth staying in a job where you’re not appreciated and included.

You aren’t growing or learning new things.

As humans, and overachievers, we are wired to be growing and learning in the pursuit of mastery. So, when you don’t have the opportunity to grow, you will begin to feel stifled and unhappy in your work.

If you find yourself in this situation, it doesn’t necessarily mean the end! You may just need to have a conversation with your boss about how you can grow and develop by helping with special projects or other tasks.

If that is not an option for you, then it may be time to start looking for an opportunity that will afford you the self-esteem and fulfillment that comes with mastering new skills.

You know your purpose, and this ain’t it.

We all have a purpose, though not everyone is able to clearly articulate theirs. And that is ok. Whether you know your purpose or not, you can sense whether you are in alignment with your purpose or not.

And that comes down to good, old fashioned drive. If you are excited about what you do everyday, you are probably in alignment with your purpose. If, at a macro level, you don’t feel that you are contributing to the world in a meaningful way, you’re likely out of alignment with your purpose. And over time, the friction caused by the lack of alignment will increase, possibly resulting in feelings of anxiety and unhappiness.

There may be some way to reframe your work and find purpose in it. But, if you struggle to find a way to do that, it may be time to start looking for a new job.

You have the skills and desire to do something else, and you don’t want to settle.

We’ve all been there. There are times in your life when you don’t need a professional challenge because you’ve got enough personal ones! Like when you’re getting married, moving, having kids, helping sick relatives, etc. it’s just not the time to take on another big commitment. So you settle for a slightly less rewarding career, in order to preserve energy for other things that are more important to you right now.

But if you don’t have that need to settle for an ok work environment for the short-term, and you already have the skills that you need to find more satisfying work, it’s probably time to start looking for a new job.

If you have any or all of these symptoms, it’s time to get the heck out of dodge, my friend. Now, you shouldn’t just walk into your boss’ office first thing tomorrow morning and hand in your two weeks notice. You need a plan. A solid course of action to ensure that your next job is the right job. To ensure that you know what you really want out of a role, team, and corporate culture, so that you can quickly and easily find and land your dream job.

Want some help figuring out what your next move should be? Get our free #BeTheGirl Dream Job Planner below.

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The post Signs It’s Time to Look for a New Job appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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This Rockin’ Job Search course is perfect for women aspiring to #BeTheGirl. If you want to #BeTheGirl, you need to optimize all areas of your life and only focus on the tasks that will help you lead your dream life. Our free Rockin’ Job Search Course is designed to help you streamline and optimize your job search, so that you can find and land your dream job.

Our free Rockin’ Job Search Email Course is perfect for you, if:

  • You feel stuck in your current role, but are too intimidated or overwhelmed by the resume and interview process to change your circumstances.
  • You are ready for your next professional challenge, and want to optimize your search.
  • You value step-by-step guidance and templates.
CONTENT IN THE FREE ROCKIN’ JOB SEARCH COURSE
  1. Mindset: Get Energized for Your Job Search
  2. Get Laser Focused on Your Dream Job
  3. Take the MAPP Career Quiz
  4. The Inside Track on Job Opportunities
  5. 5 Free Resume Templates and Guidance
  6. How to Update Your Resume in under 45 Minutes
  7. Cover Letter Examples and Templates that are Sure to WOW Recruiters
  8. Rock Your Social Media during Your Job Search
  9. Test Your Resume
  10. Nailing the Online Application
  11. Leverage Your Network to Get Noticed
  12. Interview Preparation Tips
  13. Interview Questions
  14. How to Interview Like a Boss
  15. Reel ‘Em in with Follow-Up

 



The post Rockin’ Job Search Course appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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When you’re striving to #bethegirl, time management tips can seem impossible to implement. It can feel like you’re running 20mph on a endless treadmill. Work, family, fitness, healthy cooking, grocery shopping, side hustle… and the list goes on.

It would be great to simply figure out how to do everything on the list, but it’s virtually impossible. Out of necessity, you have to figure out which items you can eliminate from the list entirely.

And then you have to figure out how to leverage time management and productivity tips to accomplish the most impactful items on your to-do list, so that you can achieve the results you want to #bethegirl.

To keep you charging forward, we’ve compiled our favorite time management tips to ensure you achieve your important goals.

Use Your Eisenhower Matrix

Have you heard of the Eisenhower Matrix? It’s one of our favorite time management tips. From the genius of President Eisenhower, it necessitates that you group your tasks into how urgent and important they are. Then you DO the things that are urgent and important. Whereas, you schedule a time to do the things that are important, but not urgent. You should delegate the items that are urgent, but not important. And, lastly, you would eliminate tasks that are neither important nor urgent.

This “Delete” category is going to be one of your best friends, if you want to #bethegirl. Many women are convinced they need to do it all, but you don’t. As uncomfortable as it may be, determine what isn’t important or urgent, and simply eliminate it from your list. Be as “ruthlessly productive” as Sheryl Sandberg!

Make your Commute Productive

There is nothing more exhausting than a long commute, amirite? For most of us it’s 1-2 hours a day that are P-A-I-N-S-T-A-K-I-N-G!

But this is 1-2 hours a day that can be yours. You can keep up with your reading lists by listening to audio books. Word to the wise: always listen to the sample before purchasing or using a credit. Sometimes the narrator is just too painful to listen to! You can get a one-month free trial of Audible here.

You can also listen to audio books or catch up with friends and family. Some days you just need to use that time to listen to some music and be alone. But whatever you do with your commute time, be intentional.

Chunk your Time

Have you ever heard of time chunking?  Essentially, you block your time into “chunks” and then complete all of the same type of task at one time, which will make you do them all better and faster.

If you’re not currently chunking your time, when you may write a blog post, design your graphics, and schedule your social media posts and email all in one day.

But if you’re time chunking, you may write all your blog posts for a month one day. Then do all your graphics to accompany those posts the next day. And then schedule all your social media and emails the next day.

You gain tons of efficiency by only having one program up and not getting distracted by flitting around between applications.

Exercise during Kids’ Activities

If you’ve got kids, you know the soccer, baseball, ballet lessons, etc. can be really time consuming. They are so good for your kids, but it takes time away from reaching your goals.

There are a few ways that you can make that time productive for you too. You can start by incorporating your own exercise into those practices. For example, you can walk around the gym or field, while watching practice and cheering your kids on.

You could also add a podcast or audio book to your routine. That’s like 3 birds with one stone!

Get up Early

We all know that the mornings are the most productive times for our brains and we’re least likely to be interrupted by other people… but many of us struggle with waking up in the morning.

If you’ve always wanted to be more productive in the morning hours, but can’t wake up, you HAVE TO TRY the Alarmy App. You can set this app to require that you take a picture of, say, the coffee maker, in order to turn it off. It forces you to get out of bed, and far away from it potentially, to turn the alarm off.

Make the Most of Your Lunch Hour

There are any number of ways you can have a productive lunch hour! Perhaps you do your grocery run over lunch and store your groceries in the office fridge until the end of the day.

Or you could workout during your lunch hour, and then have lunch at your desk afterwards.

Or you could eat lunch at your desk and leave early…. or, if acceptable in your workplace, eat lunch at your desk and work on your side hustle during your lunch break.

Get More Mileage out of a Blow Out

If you are currently stuck washing your hair every. single. day. you should consider trying this L’oreal Paris Hair Expert Extraordinary Clay Balancing Shampoo and Conditioner. I am completely obsessed with it. Even with super fine, oily hair, I’m down to washing my hair 2-3 times per week.

I estimate this is saving me about an hour in washing, drying and styling time!

Incorporate Family Time into Household Chores

By inviting your kids to participate in cooking, laundry and other household chores, you not only help them understand household responsibilities, but you can spend time with them. Instead of letting your kids watch TV while you cook dinner, have them come into the kitchen and help. You can hear about their day, teach them how to cook, and bond. And when you’re done, you can get to your work, while they do their homework or play on their iPads. This is my favorite of all the time management tips.

Use the StayFocusd Chrome Extension

If you struggle to stay focused while working at your computer, try installing the StayFocusd Chrome Extension. The extension allows you to configure a certain amount of time on social media sites, and then it prevents you from accessing them for the remainder of the day. It’s a good way to keep yourself from being tempted to fall into the social media rabbit hole.

Like these time management tips? Want a daily dose of #BeTheGirl motivation and tips in your inbox? Sign up below!

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What other time management tips do you use to #bethegirl?

The post Time Management Tips to Make You A Successful Side Hustler or Blogger appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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Yes, be the girl who decided to go for it!!! But going for it isn’t easy, is it? It can be scary. What if you invest your time, money or energy and don’t reach your goals?

And the scariest thought of all: what if you fail and everyone finds out? They’ll know you’re a failure. Obviously, one failure makes you a complete failure.

To be the girl, you’ve got to realize a few key things:

1. Failing at one thing does not a complete failure make. 

2. There is just as much risk in not going for it, as there is in going for it.

3. Nothing worth doing is easy.

4. If you invest your time, money or energy, you should do so wisely and with a plan to maximize your chances of success.

What do you want to go for?

Find your dream job? Try our Rockin’ Job Search series here to identify and land your dream job.

Start your own company? The #BeTheGirl How to Launch and Plan Your Own Business… in Just 30 Days course will be opening up soon. See if it’s right for you here.

Start a blog? Check out our guidance on the first 10 days of starting your blog: How to Start a Blog.

Get in shape? Check out Body Lab. BodyLab provides the nutrition, knowledge and support that will unleash the healthy and happy you. Learn more here.

If your dream isn’t on the list already, drop us a comment below and let us know what you want to go for!

The post Be The Girl Who Decided to Go for It! appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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Attention Would-Be Entrepreneurs: Stop dreaming of having your own successful business, and find out…

How To Easily Plan And Launch Your Own Business…In Just 30 Days!

Don’t waste another minute building someone else’s business. Instead, start counting down the days until you can finally say, “I quit!”

Hey there soon-to-be business owner,

How long have you been daydreaming about hanging out your virtual shingle and finally kissing the 9 to 5 job (and your horrible boss) goodbye?

If you’re like most would-be entrepreneurs, chances are you’ve spent a fair number of hours contemplating what life will be like when you can finally…

  • Set your own working hours (and never punch someone else’s clock again)
  • Choose your own clients (so you can stop putting up with nasty customers)
  • Decide your own pay rate (instead of waiting for that oh-so generous 3% increase at the end of the year)
  • Work from home in your comfy pants and pony-tailed hair (or maybe from a lounge chair by the pool)

Unfortunately, for many would-be entrepreneurs…

Dreams Never Seem To Turn Into Reality

So many promising new businesses are derailed by a lack of confidence and direction. And it’s understandable, really. After all, you struggle with…

  • Finding a profitable business idea and niche (that isn’t already done to death)
  • Navigating a legal labyrinth of LLCs and S-corps and other cryptic terms
  • Scaling the steep learning curve of a host of necessary tools and software
  • Creating in-demand products and programs—and figuring out how to market them

And even if you do manage to get clear on all of the many (many) pieces and parts that go into creating a viable business…

You’re Left Feeling Overwhelmed
At All There Is To Do

How can you possibly organize all your notepads, sticky notes, emails, random thoughts, trainings, books and folders (virtual and otherwise) into some sort of logical order? Where do you even begin?

Even if you think you have a viable business idea (and let’s face it, you really don’t know for sure) it can seem impossible to develop a full-fledged program from it. You have to figure out…

  • Who your clients are and what they really need (and are willing to pay for)
  • How much you can charge (too little is just as bad as too much)
  • How to reach your market (because even the best program will sit on the shelf if you don’t know how to promote it)

All that dreaming and wishing won’t provide a solid plan, and sometimes it just feels easier to keep your day job.

But you don’t have to settle for being dreamer. Instead, take a look at….

THE 4-WEEK PLAN:
How to Leave Your 9 to 5 for
Your Entrepreneur Dream Life!

Each week of this step-by-step workshop is designed to move you closer to your entrepreneurial dreams by providing exactly the information you need, right when you need it. No more floundering; no more chaos; no more confusion.

Just a rock-solid plan to take you from cube dweller to lady boss—in less time than it takes to negotiate a raise.

Week one kicks it off by ensuring your new business has wings, so you don’t have to worry it will sink like a stone and leave you with nothing to show for your efforts.

Week 1: Are you ready to be a successful entrepreneur and is your business idea solid?

There’s more to starting a business than just a good idea. You also need to ensure a steady stream of paying clients. Not only that, but you need to know that you’ll still love your business in a few months—and even years—or you’ll quickly burn out. We’ll cover all that and more in week 1, including…

  • 9 ways to know you’ll still love your business next year—because hating your business is far worse than hating your day job
  • 2 tools to help you explore your motivations and business aptitude—so you can be sure you have what it takes to make it long-term
  • What the Myers-Briggs scale can really tell you—and how to use the information to build a better business
  • 8 traits of powerful ideas—so you can instantly know if your plan has the hallmarks of a successful business
  • A 5-point checklist to help determine if it’s the right idea for you—because a great idea can only be successful when it’s paired with the right entrepreneur
  • 8 ways timing matters—and what to do if now is not the right time for your new business
  • The single, most important question you must ask yourself—if you don’t answer this with honesty and integrity, you’re setting yourself up for a hard fall

By the time you work through the week 1 training, you’ll know for sure that your idea is viable, and that you have what it takes to see it through to completion. And that alone will put you far ahead of those dreamers out there who are still waiting for the perfect opportunity to come along.

Week 2: Getting Ready for Start-up

This is where most would-be business owners begin to lose heart. The legal and financial obligations that come with owning a business can feel overwhelming, and if you don’t know the right path to take, you can quickly become lost.

We’ve got you covered in week 2, with…

  • A complete run-down of legal business structures—and how to choose the right one for you
  • The one thing every new business owner must do to protect your assets—skip this and you’re risking everything to save a few hundred dollars
  • How to find out if you need a license to operate your new business—plus special considerations you can’t afford to miss if you plan to have a business partner
  • A critical tax consideration for both US and Canadian based businesses—skipping this step could put your finances in jeopardy
  • The number one mistake new business owners make—and how to avoid it with one simple trip to the bank
  • Why you cannot simply spend your business income—and how to handle your finances like a real business
  • How to avoid being caught short at tax time—if you do nothing else, this one thing will keep you out of trouble with the government
  • Why your business needs a plan (even though you already have it in your head)—and how to easily create one
  • Why you need a dedicated office space of your own—and it’s probably not what you think

Money and tax troubles derail more small businesses than do any other issues. By building a solid foundation right from the start, you’ll be much less likely to suffer the fate of so many failed businesses. Week 2’s training will get you there quickly and easily, so you can move on to the fun stuff!

Week 3: Stress-Free Business Planning

In week 3, we’re going to build the infrastructure of your business. We’ll set up your website, create your mailing list, plan your products, and discover your dream client. Whew! That sounds like a lot of work, but it’s really not when you have a plan, including…

  • Why it’s critical to put on a professional face—and how to ensure you look like the pro you are
  • How to avoid the deadly “I’m just starting out” syndrome that kills so many promising businesses—it’s an easy trap to fall into if you don’t know what to watch out for
  • The 3 most common newbie mistakes—and how to easily avoid them
  • How to brand yourself and your business to attract your ideal client—miss this step and you’ll waste a lot of time and energy on people who will never buy from you
  • 8 ways to identify your dream client—and there’s a lot more to it than gender and age
  • Where to find high-paying clients—and how to ensure your offers meet their discerning standards
  • 3 ways to test a new program idea—do just one of these and if it’s successful, you can be sure your product will sell
  • 3 components of a perfectly balanced business—it takes all three to keep your cash flow smooth and your funnel filled

By the time you’ve worked through week 3, you’ll have a list of viable programs, a feel for your ideal client, and a plan to test your ideas against a live audience of interested buyers. Now it’s time to market your new business, with…

Week 4: Taking Action and Getting the Word Out

The time for dreaming and planning is over. Now it’s time to move forward and finally achieve your goals. Week 4 is all about action, including…

  • How (and why) to track your business activities—this old-school method might just make all the difference in your new biz
  • The most important thing you must do every single day—without this, in a year’s time, you’ll still be dreaming about your business instead of running it
  • The one thing that will set you apart from the competition—and ensure it’s your name on everyone’s lips
  • How to effortlessly create profitable sales funnels—because no successful business survives on a single product.
  • How to automate your business for more profits without working more hours—and the two things you should never automate or outsource
  • When to hire help—and where to find qualified contractors you can trust to take on nearly any task
  • How to create a schedule you can maintain—without suffering from new business owner burnout
  • How to maintain positive energy in your business (and life)—just by following a few easy tips
  • The one “tool” no successful business can afford to be without—and it’s not what you think

 

There Is No Perfect Time To Start A Business

There is only right now, and if you miss this opportunity, when will you allow yourself to say “yes” to your dreams? Stop setting for the status quo, and start reaching for your goals, for your business, and for your life.

We can’t promise that you’ll make a million dollars or become the next Tony Robbins, but we can promise you this. If you do the work outlined in this course, you’ll be miles closer to ditching that 9 to 5 job than you have ever been.

How much is that worth to you? We’ll be be kicking off the next How To Easily Plan And Launch Your Own Business…In Just 30 Days! session soon. Sign up to be notified!

 

First Name *
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The post How To Easily Plan And Launch Your Own Business…In Just 30 Days! appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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It can be difficult to tell if you’re just worn out, or if it’s time to start looking for a new job. Take this quiz to find out!

 

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Career Quiz: Signs it's time to quit your job

The post Quiz: Is it Time to Start Looking for a New Job? appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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This is how to update your resume in less than an hour!

Have you ever sat down to update your resume, and an hour or two later, you’ve made no progress?

You sat there trying to figure out how to PERFECTLY articulate exactly who you are and what you would bring to a prospective employer.

You type and backspace. Type and backspace. Eventually, you just start to daydream about how great it would be to find a new role. In a company that you love. With a team that is fun and hard-working. And even getting a raise in the process. And an hour has passed, but your resume isn’t where it needs to be.

I have the answer to your resume problems! We’re going to rip the bandaid right off and STOP the procrastination. The sooner you get that resume updated, the sooner you can start to make those daydreams a REALITY!

Below is a video where we walk you step-by-step, and minute-by-minute through the process of updating your resume. We’ll tell you how you should structure each sentence, and then give you a few minutes (timed) to update your resume accordingly. The whole process will show you how to update your resume in less than an hour (even if you’re creating your resume from scratch).

You’ll quickly and effectively craft the following, sentence-by-sentence:

    • Your profile statement
    • Your skill summary
    • Each bullet of your employment history (along with ideas and starters!)
    • Your education

Learn how to update your Resume with our video guide now!

 

How to Update Your Resume in Less than an Hour - YouTube

If you don’t have a resume template already, you can download copies of the #BeTheGirl resume templates and guide here.

If you need any other help with how to update your resume, cover letter, submitting your application, following up or interviewing, check out the free #BeTheGirl Rockin’ Job Search Course.

The post How to Update Your Resume in Less than 45 Minutes appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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We’ve all got them, right? The colleague that talks too much, too loudly, is dismissive of others. The person that dominates every conversation and seems to be oblivious to basic manners. Today we’re going to dissect the three secrets of how to deal with difficult people at work.

So here we go! 3 Secrets: How to Deal with Difficult People.

SECRET #1: RUDE IS A BEHAVIOR, NOT A VALUE

The first thing you have to realize is that being rude is a behavior, how one conducts themselves, especially toward others. The behavior is in no way indicative of the way they feel about you, their values, their beliefs or their motivators.

Both nature and nurture impact our behaviors. So we inherit some portion of our behaviors and the way we communicate from our parents and we learn some of it from our environment as we grow up.

The genetics and the environment that we learn in drive our understanding of how to behave and communicate. So, some people tell you what to do. Or they shhhh you when you’re speaking. They talk over you. Or they say things other people know are rude, like telling you that you look tired today.

It helps to have a framework for our behaviors or communication styles, so that you can understand how you behave and how that is different from others. It enables you to recognize the differences and pinpoint why the behavior seems rude to you. If you want to read more about Personality and Communication styles you can read our post here.

And this leads us to Secret #2 of how to deal with difficult people.

SECRET #2: PEOPLE ARE INHERENTLY SELF-CENTERED

This one is super important. If you want to learn how to deal with a difficult people at work or otherwise, you have to understand their behaviors are not directed at you. In fact, they aren’t thinking about you at all. They are worrying about themselves, without any regard for you.

For people who are more sensitive to the wants and needs of others this is baffling. You may assume that a difficult person is putting forth effort to be rude. But the reality is that the person is doing what comes naturally to them without any regard for the impact on you.

Shocking, huh? Once you realize that difficult people are not trying to be rude to you, you will be better equipped to deal with them. They are just rude. Doesn’t that already make it more tolerable? That there isn’t malicious intent?

And this leads us to Secret #3 of how to deal with difficult people.

SECRET #3: IF YOU ARE “NICE” TO RUDE PEOPLE, THEY WILL RESPOND ACCORDINGLY

I once had a colleague who was rude to everyone. To clarify, he would dominate conversations, tell others not to interrupt him, but he would interrupt everyone else. He was incredibly intelligent, and I think that was part of his problem. He’d likely been rewarded and praised throughout his life because of his intellect, that he never had to develop his emotional intelligence.

At any rate, when we first started working together I found him intolerable, in spite of how smart he was. But I quickly realized his dominance and constant need to be the smartest person in the room had nothing to do with me. He wasn’t trying to make me feel dumb or to treat me that way. He was trying to help me understand what he knew.

So, over the years, I would listen. And, I would simply tell him the way I felt when he cut me off. Over time, we bonded.

Fast forward three years later, he cut me off FIVE times in one meeting. FIVE! It was so frustrating. I thought we’d been making progress, but this was a huge step backwards.

But do you know what? He called me that afternoon. TO APOLOGIZE! He said that it wasn’t his place to “shhhh” me and that he was sorry for doing so. Personal stressors had caught him off guard and he hadn’t realized how it impacted his behavior.

His apology was so impressive! Three years ago, he would not have realized he was cutting me off, nevertheless recognize it and proactively apologize.

If you can learn to appreciate the rude behavior for what it is – unintentional – you’ll be able to form a relationship with that person and capitalize on their unique gifts and contributions. The reality is, if you perceive that person is difficult, many other people will probably feel the same way. That rude person probably doesn’t have many meaningful connections and the slightest bit of effort on your part can lead to massive rewards.

It’s not always easy though. What tips or tricks do you have for dealing with difficult people? Feel free to leave a reply below!

The post 3 Secrets: How to Deal with Difficult People at Work appeared first on #BeTheGirl.

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