My dear readers. It’s a few days before Christmas 2018 and I am sitting on my couch in Chicago watching Love Actually on Netflix. I haven’t watched this film since it came out and for some reason it seemed like a really good idea to watch this chilly afternoon. I mean, Hugh Grant is lovely to look at and listen to (I’m such a sucker for a British accent), but something else is going on with me these days…
I find myself feeling all mushy, all the time. Grateful for everything and everyone in my life and even sentimental. What is wrong with me? I’ve been the champion of freedom in my love life. Freedom in my sex life. Freedom in my work life. Freedom generally. And honestly not really thought about feelings. Or romance. Or certainly love. I tell you, my readers, to embrace your sexuality. Don’t worry about finding romance. Live your lives with abandon. Do you. Take care of what you need. Protect yourself. And here I am feeling very romantic and connected to the world and everyone who crosses my path.
I am actually feeling in love with life. I find myself talking to to strangers. The homeless man on the street who told me he could feel my positive energy the other evening. I shook his hand and looked into his kind eyes. The connection with him gave me such amazing vibes. Every single Uber driver – I ask them questions. I let them tell me about their stories and their lives. They only want to be heard. The waiter at a restaurant who serves me nourishing food. I leave him a 30% tip for taking such good care of me. It feels good to be cared for, even if it is their job.
I feel like turning up Spotify up and dancing. I feel like sweating. I feel like kissing. I feel like fucking. I feel like looking every single person in the eye. I want to see deep in their souls. I want connection. With everyone. All the time.
Why am I feeling so connected and generous and thankful and alive? Could be the season. The holidays are always a bit sentimental. Could be that I really am so grateful for all things in my life. It’s been an incredible year for me professionally. Could be that my mom is sick and I am embracing moments with her while she is still on this earth. Could be my heart has finally healed after four years. Could be the world feels so chaotic that love and human connection seems like the only answer to find calm.
Love is kind and gentle and pure. It’s an emotion that I have avoided for so long and now it is manifesting itself in nearly every daily interaction of my life.
I don’t know what all of this means. But I do know it feels good. Like really, really good.
Open your hearts when the time is right for you. And enjoy the holidays.
Hello My Lovely Single Women in your 40’s, 50’ and maybe 60’s! It’s that time of year when we rehash the events of the previous year – how are we doing in our career, how is our relationship with our family, what is the quality of our circle of friends, do we have a significant other/do we want one, are we living our lives to the fullest?! It’s possible that we have already lived ⅔ of our life… how do you want to live the rest of it?
Gosh, I’m so serious – thought this blog was about how to meet people!?
I do want to talk about how to meet people, for friendship, romance or something undefined, but I want you to get your head in the right space.
We’re not getting any younger – sorry, I am right there with you! If you want to meet new people to enrich your life you need to open your mind. I am not telling you to lower your standards, but I am telling you not to be a close-minded judgmental bitch – okay? I am telling you to be open to meeting people who have had vastly different experiences than you have. I am telling you that you need to give yourself permission to take a chance on a stranger.
You have to be open to meeting someone to actually meet someone who can potentially enrich your life.
If you’re still with me – great! So where, how, who?!
If you have read my book, you know I am a huge fan of dating apps – particularly Tinder and Bumble. If you are leaping to the conclusion that they are just for hook-ups and sex, stop. Again with the mindset issue. These and all dating apps are merely tools to meet people outside of your normal social circles. They certainly can be used to find a sexual relationship (highly recommended if you don’t want something serious) but they can also be used to find something potentially longer term. It’s all about opening your mind to the possibilities.
My other big tip for meeting people – stay in the present moment. This is something I have been working on quite a bit through meditation (I use the 1Giant Mind App, if you are curious). If you can learn to live more in the present than in the past or in the future, you are more likely to connect with people as you are going about your life. You will start to notice connections with people – a smile, eye contact, saying hello and those moments can easily lead to a conversation, which can easily lead to a coffee date, which can be the start of something beautiful.
Sorry for the tough love here. I want you all to have yummy relationships in your life. Use dating apps and smile.
P.S. I’ve updated my coaching services with some fun, new offers. Have a look!