I’m trying to get more done in less time and with less effort. Tthat sounds like trying to be more efficient, not one of my strong points. So I asked for advice from my son-in-law, Bruce, who is sharp and knowledgeable.
Bruce recommended that I tie these posts together with a theme and include quotes from the book. I’m trying to follow his advice but Ineed to ask him to clarify what tie them together means. Are they tied together already by the theme of ADHD, and specifically, how to live with adult ADHD and make your life better using strategies? The tips are to give you help with that, but maybe they need to be more focused on the theme?
In the interest of efficiency, I’m sending Bruce this post instead of calling him.
The Tip for Today is to try to save time when you can, and sometimes you can make one thing serve two purposes.
Chapter 31 of the book is about trying to avoid being rushed and pressured. Not only are these states of mind unpleasant, but they increase our rate of making errors. Which will lead to feeling more rushed and more pressured.
So think about ways to be efficient.
Your comments, critiques, concepts, conclusions, criticisms, and contributions would all be enthusiastically welcomed.
Definition O the Day:
the state or quality of being efficient.”greater energy efficiency”
ADHD Book Review??
I got a negative review of Living Daily with Adult ADD or ADHD. Well, kinda. Starfish had not read the book, nor had she bought it. So it wasn’t really a review; it was a complaint, a cry of frustration.
My ADHD brain doesn’t process or remember info on screens. The minute it’s not visible, it no longer exists. Out of sight, out of mind. Seems ironic that this possibly helpful book is dangled out there as out-of-reach as an untranslated foreign language version. Makes me question the author’s expertise with the condition altogether, other than as a fellow victim.
I rarely reply to a book review, but this one caught me. I appreciated that she thought the book would be good, and I appreciated that she took the trouble to write a review. But even more so, I agreed with her.
I don’t like reading off of the screen, not anything of any length. I miss more information than I do from paper. And I like to hold a real book in my hands.
The good news is that I’m revising Living Daily, and it will come out in a book and e-book. I’d like send Starfish a free copy but I don’t know how to reach her.
The bad news is I don’t know when it’ll come out. My ADHD does slow me down. Maybe six months?
Questions O the Day:
1. Does anyone else besides me and Starfish have trouble reading off of screens?
2. Does anyone know Starfish? How can I get in touch with her?
Bonus Links O the Day:
ADHD and ReadingGood ADDitude Posts
Should you give medication to your ADHD child, or take it your self?Diane Yvonne shared her post another site.
“Just wanting to share my experience. My 11 year old son has ADD. We opted not to try medication for some time, just personal preference and fears of the unknown stopped us. Now I feel like such a terrible Mom as we put our son on medication for the first time in January and he is doing GREAT! He just brought home his first report card and he has a 3.0 GPA. That is a first! He describes ADD unmedicated as a big bright room full of distractions and he describes being on medication as being in a room big room with light shining on the task he needs to focus on. This was how he describes a classroom setting. He is getting class work done now, so happy I let go of my fears and finally tried a medication for him.”
There are a lot of people afraid or unwilling to try ADHD medication for a number of different reasons. It is important to educate yourself and deal with facts and not fears and unfounded opinions. I believe that every child with ADHD deserves a trial of medication. Ritalin would be my first choice However, the current medical guidelines recommend trying other behavioral first, so apparently sometimes they work.
I’ve said before: for some people the medications don’t work; for some people, like me, they help some; for some people, like Diane’s son, they’re a miracle.
Diane, thank you for sharing. I applaud your courage.
One of the keys of living well in spite of ADHD is making habits. With a habit, you don’t have to remember, think, or make a decision; you just do it.
Here are some little things I’ve made habits for.
Whenever I use my credit card, I put it back into my billfold. Then I stop and check that it is in my billfold. Even though I just put it there.
If this seems like silly nonsense to you, a waste of time, too much effort, then you have never spent a day looking for your credit card, calling to cancel it, and having to call to update your automatic payments (and then find it in your shirt pocket, where you never looked because you never put it there.).
Before I leave home, I tap my left pocket to be sure my billfold is there, and my right pocket to be sure my iPhone is there. I’ve found it is better to have them with me than to have forgotten them.
As I’ve mentioned before, before I drive away from the pump, I always check to make sure the nozzle is not still in the gas tank. This can save some hassle.
These are small things, but they can prevent some big things.
PS O the Day
In her book about compulsions, Can’t Just Stop, Begley says that many of our minor compulsions are not problems or mental illness, but necessary and useful ways we cope with the anxiety from the chaos of our lives. We need to have some areas where we feel we are in control (even though that may also be an illusion.)
My little habits are not compulsions. I don’t have to do them. I don’t get anxious if I don’t. But they reduce the level of chaos in my life and my life is better.
Quote O the Day:
And O the day before, and O the day before that, and O —
Ram, who is a great contributor to the ADHD blog, has written about the difficulties of dealing with family. I couldn’t refrain from offering some advice:
Families are truly difficult. Ignorance makes it even worse. You need to manage your way. you know them and you know you, and I don’t. One alternative way it could be handled is, when you feel there is reason to say that you have ADHD, say it. Then if they come back with crap, you can just say, “That’s an interesting viewpoint.“ And then do not engage further on the subject. If they keep saying crap, just keep saying, “You have an interesting viewpoint there. “You don’t have to answer any questions or explain or defend.”
Principle O the Day, from AA:
JADE: You don’t have to justify, explain or defend.
Confession O the Day:
I am biased towards encouraging people to come out about their ADHD when possible. The more of us who come out, the less stigma there will be.
Wise Saying O the Day:
The best thing about good advice is that it does so little harm, because no one ever follows it.
Analogy O the Day:
Trying to educate someone about ADHD when their mind is already made up is like trying to teach a pig to sing. You will just get frustrated and it annoys the pig.
A follower asked if children outgrow ADHD. Research shows that 50% of children with ADHD will “grow out of it” by late adolescence. This means that they might still have some symptoms but the symptoms are fewer and mild enough that they would no longer meet criteria for an ADHD diagnosis.
The research also shows that their brains do not change to normal but do improve in that direction. Those who have been treated with stimulants show more brain improvement, but still don’t attain “normal.”
For the 50% of us who continue to have the full syndrome, our brains did not change but our symptoms do moderate somewhat. This is presumably due to some brain maturation and to our learning how to cope, getting strategies. For example, hyperactivity usually becomes less and manifests more as fidgeting.
Controversy O the Day:
There are some reports of adult onset ADHD but I have found no substantiating data and I do not believe it. Almost by definition, we are born with ADHD.
Irrelevant Note O the Day:
I’m experimenting with different ways to post an image to facebook. Maybe one of these will work. I think perhaps demonic forces are working against me.
My job put me up in a beautiful big old house. When I come in in the evening, and when I leave in the morning, there are no lights. It is dark. Very dark. It is a big beautiful old house with a big beautiful staircase, which is dark as the pit. I’ve been very nervous going up and down the staircase in the dark, carrying two heavy bags.
Strategy: I suddenly realized I can just turn on my iPhone. Not even the flashlight, just the iPhone.That is already a habit, or maybe not even a habit. My anxiety on the dark staircase is the anchor, or the cue, for automatically using the iPhone.
But this is really kind of silly, because once I realized it was A Problem, I could have easily just carried a small flashlight in my brief case. That’s the real trick, acknowledging that it’s A Problem, not just one of the inevitable many small annoyances of life.
It would’ve been A Real Problem if I’d broken my leg. Or my neck.
Odd Note O the Day: You may be wondering why this is printed in such a strange format. So am I.
Some people deny that it exists. The fact that they have no idea what they are talking about does not deter them.
Some people say it is an executive dysfunction problem. I think that is one part of ADHD.
Some focus on the neurotransmitters (norepinephrine, dopamine), some on structure (basal ganglia, cerebellum), and some on networks (connecting amygdala, hippocampus, frontal cortex, cerebellum). I think it is all of these.
Some see it as a disease or disorder. Some see it as a variation of normal. Others see it as a gift. I am not one of those. I see it as a difference which, since it causes so many problems, is a disorder. I also believe there is an abrupt significant difference between us ADHDers and the vanillas, not just a gradual change on a curve.
Dr. William Dodson, an expert on ADHD who I highly respect, has a different view from mine, regarding the basic symptoms and dysfunctions:
I see ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, highly genetic, present from conception, with differences in the networks, structures, and neurotransmitters. To me, the main issue is lack of control of focus, and that our “focus center” is not turned on in the same way as the vanillas. This basic feature causes a number of problems, which themselves cause other problems or symptoms, such as rejection sensitivity due to shame and low self-esteem, for example, which is caused by our frequent screwing up and the resulting criticism from others and from ourselves.
The research show that kids who are born in August have higher rates of ADHD than those born in September.
The strong implication is that starting school when you’re younger makes you susceptible to a diagnosis of ADHD. This makes sense, because you will be more immature than your classmates. Does your immature behavior cause you to get diagnosed with ADHD, or, do the social and intellectual difficulties you’re having cause you to behave in such a way that you get the diagnosis? In either case, wouldn’t this likely be a misdiagnosis.
It is too easy to jump to conclusions. Maybe kids born in August have had higher exposure to certain viruses, or perhaps mothers pregnant in December had more or different infections? Or maybe there’s some other correlation?
But the implication of the effect of immaturity is probably valid. So I wonder how many of these kids were misdiagnosed because of their immaturity and did not actually have ADHD? The study ended when the kids were between six and eight years old, so they might have outgrown their ADHD diagnosis.
I suspect that a good diagnostic evaluation would have differentiated those with true ADHD from those who were just immature and not behaving or performing appropriately.
I was always the youngest, or second youngest in my class. Before the fourth grade, I was average and nondescript. I clearly had symptoms of ADHD starting in the fourth grade., but not obviously before. That seems a little strange. After that I did well scholastically, and poorly behaviorally, no longer average nor nondescript. Til college, when I hit the brick wall scholastically.