Matthew 9: 12 But when Jesus heard that, He said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. 13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
I'm really using this particular Bible passage, because of the literal meaning of they that are sick. Earlier in the week, the nurse the Veteran's Home had told me that Dad had said something about giving up. I shared with my husband that I wanted to spend the night in the local hotel near the Veteran's Home, so I could spend an extra day with him when we went there to see him. They got Dad up, so he could go with us to lunch. He didn't eat much, but never does and is eating less and less these days, although he did drink the chocolate milkshake that my husband got him. After about 45 minutes, my dad let us know that he was extremely uncomfortable and had pain from sitting that length of time. My husband wheeled Dad back to the room and the aides helped him into bed. I took a used cup from his night stand and took it to the dining area to put with the meal cart. I almost stepped on the nurse and when I turned around, she mentioned that I needed to seriously consider getting Hospice services for Dad in that he said he had given up. I put the idea off for another week, secretly hoping that just that my presence would be enough to cheer him up and motivate him to have a renewed interest in living, but it didn't. Maybe, I'm the one who is sick, heartsick, because I'm greedy and want my dad to pull through one more time! Of course, I probably will always want a little more time with Dad.
1 John 2:17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
In the last post, I talked about how I had been so hungry on a train trip to visit family, because I had been told that my dad needed a CT Scan. I hadn't been putting my stress and worry into Christ's very capable hands. Now that I'm back home where I get better cell coverage, I called the veteran's home yesterday where my dad resides, because of his Parkinson's Disease. I asked about the results of the CT Scan, but she said that it was scheduled for a week from then. I asked her how Dad was doing and she said that he's not wanting to eat or to get up out of bed, although she encourages the staff to coax him out of bed, if at possible, because it keeps his lungs stronger. I asked her if Dad was refusing to eat desserts, his favorite food. He would just live on desserts if he had a choice. She said that she was told that he had been refusing to eat his dessert, although he would drink the shake mix like Ensure and eat the fortified ice cream, at times. She let me know that my dad had said, "That he was through!" Her impression was that he wasn't through with his meal, but through trying to fight to stay strong, that he was giving up. So, last night, I felt like I could have eaten the doorknobs off, again. I had a full meal for dinner and felt compelled to lick the plate off, and still felt I needed more to eat. I had two oranges, but still was hungry and ended up eating some cottage cheese and crushed pineapple in it's own juice. You'd think I'd remember the recent realization Christ gave me that my extreme hunger was related to my concerns about my dad, but did I? No! I was prayerful about why I was so hungry, and Jesus had it on my heart that my urge to eat again, was due to my stress and worry about my dad. Again, I needed to pray and turn this over to Christ's very capable hands and trust Him to get me through what lies ahead.
Ephesians 1: 8 Wherein He hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence. 9 Having made known unto us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He had purposed in Himself.
I was on the train going to visit family. I felt extremely hungry at times where I wouldn't normally. As I thought about it, I realized I had eaten enough food, but still was so hungry I could eat the doorknobs off. Then, there were times on the trip there and the trip back that my stomach was so upset that I thought that I might throw up, but I didn't understand it, at that point. I thought I was experiencing motion sickness, but that really wasn't what was going on. When I prayerfully contemplated this, after arriving home, Jesus helped me to better understand what was going on. On my first night on the train, I had gotten a call from my dad's veteran's home and they told me that they were going to do a chest x-ray on him, because they thought he had another bout of pneumonia. The next day, they called me and told me that they didn't have pneumonia, as they had thought, but that it was suggested that Dad got a CT Scan. I asked the nurse what they suspected, but she didn't know. Christ showed me that it was my worry about my dad's well-being that had caused me to feel like eating and eating, even after I had eaten enough substantial food to hold me through to the next meal. I have to continue to be mindful of this, because when I have the eat the door knobs off, it means that I'm trying to deal with my stress or worry on my own and I'm not putting it in Christ's very capable hands, trusting Him to get me through what lies ahead.
Romans 5:10 For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to god by the death of His Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
My dad lives in a Veteran's Home and we've gotten close to a few of the veterans there. One was Peter. We told him that he was like extended family. In fact, when he got sick, my husband told me that after church, he wanted to go see Peter in the hospital which was 1 1/2 hours from our home.
I went to see my dad this week, as I generally do. I saw a nurse come out of Peter's room with a gown and mask on. I wasn't surprised, because we wore gowns and masks when we saw him at the hospital, so that we wouldn't get or pass on his illnesses. I asked the nurse if she would tell Peter that I said, "Hi," because we usually visited him in the hallway or dining hall when we would come see Dad. She put her mask back on and went back into his room.
While I sat visiting with my dad, who had gone to bed to rest after he finished Physical Therapy, I saw a man roll a gurney up to Peter's room, but it had a folded flag sitting on the end. I knew this probably meant that Peter had passed away. I watched as they wheeled him out about 15 minutes later and was impressed by the announcement that this was the final salute to Peter. They followed that by playing taps for 15-20 minutes over the speaker system. I was very touched by how respectfully they did this. It also dawned on me that there will be a point when they will be doing the same for my dad.
On the way home and after I got home, I felt very down. Of course, it's only natural to feel this way after losing someone you care about. I told my husband that I just wanted to eat snacky foods for dinner, although I had some decent foods that would be easy enough to heat up. I just didn't feel like doing anything and didn't really care that I was eating snacky foods. I prayed about how I was feeling and the thought was to watch Father Brown episodes on Netflix, because the main character always reminded me of Peter, smart, witty, and extremely knowledgeable about so many things. I know my eating had more to do with my grief and my future grieving for when my dad passes, but right then, I just felt down and didn't really want to make the changes to feel any other way. Fortunately, Christ was there with me as I muddled my way through this grief.
Galatians 3: 26 For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. We saw Dad on Tuesday, but decided to go see him again on Friday. We can't always go twice a week, but enjoy it whenever we can. He was doing pretty well on Tuesday, although he stayed in bed and we had lunch with him in his room. When I went to his room, the Veteran's Home attendants were changing Dad, so I walked up and down the hall to exercise my foot. He was dressed and in his wheelchair and they wheeled him into the smaller adjoining lunch area. I had the deck of cards and Dad and I played his special Solitaire game that he had played daily for 30 or 40 years before the Parkinson's Disease got too bad. We play Solitaire together and he points to where he wants me to place the cards. This activity allows us to have some fun together, but it has the added benefit, in that, it works like a dip-stick for me. Today, Dad had a more difficult time focusing. He was weaker, but I did notice that as the day went on and people came and told him how well he looked, he started perking up. Although his health was not so good this time, he had a lot more energy by the time we left. It's amazing how the positive comments of others can so positively affect a person and their health.
Blessings are on the head of the righteous, But violence covers the mouth of the wicked. The memory of the righteous is blessed, But the name of the wicked will rot. Proverbs 10:6-7 After Dad's trip to the ER on the holiday morning, I wasn't sure how long his regained health would last. I knew they put Dad on some steroids and antibiotics, but didn't know if this was a short-term fix or not. I was so delighted when we saw Dad a week later and he still was doing well. He was up in his wheelchair instead of the bed. He let us take him to the dining room for lunch, which he hadn't been doing lately. He had been mainly wanting to stay in bed. In addition to this, Dad played cards with me. We play a game of Solitaire that my dad has played for 30-40 years, that's more challenging than most. His focus wasn't quite as good, because Dad was wanting me to put a three of hearts on a four of clubs, but I still enjoyed every minute of the game. Dad was doing pretty good, but not perfect. God's led me to feel the importance of enjoying every minute I have with Dad, regardless!!!!
He who has a slack hand becomes poor, But the hand of the diligent makes rich. He who gathers in summer is a wise son; He who sleeps in harvest is a son who causes shame. Proverbs 10:4-5 Every time it gets near a holiday, I pray and ask God not to take my Dad on that particular date. It's not so much for me, but I think that having their Grandpa pass on a holiday might make that holiday depressing in future years for the younger generations. I got the call while we were in the hotel at 6:34 a.m. that holiday morning. They had rushed Dad to the local ER, because his oxygen was down to 64 when it's supposed to be at 90 and above and that Dad was saying that he was having difficulty breathing. This time was different. I prayed and told God that if He wants Dad with Him on this holiday, I wanted His will and not mine. We had stayed at the hotel overnight, so we would be there to spend the holiday morning with Dad and to go eat lunch with him, as that's when they usually celebrate holidays at the Veteran's Home. I was thinking that being with Dad during his final moments was much more important than any holiday dinners or traditions. I was just thankful that we were close to be there in a matter of minutes. You can understand how delighted I was when the doctor said that they had gotten Dad's oxygen rate back up, had him on steroids and antibiotics and was going to be able to send Dad back to the Veteran's Home to celebrate the holiday with us. Such a blessing!!!!!!!
Treasures of wickedness profit nothing, But righteousness delivers from death. The Lord will not allow the righteous soul to famish, But He casts away the desire of the wicked. Proverbs 10:2-3 We left one state and needed to travel through two more to get back in time to have dinner with Dad at the Veteran's Home. When we saw Dad on our way out of state a few days earlier, we told him that we would try to be back in time to have dinner with him at the Veteran's Home that evening. Knowing Dad, he forgets the words "try to" and thinks it's a promise and is crushed if anything keeps it from happening. We try very hard to not disappoint Dad, so we tried everything we could to make it back in time for dinner with Dad. We had even packed PB and J sandwiches for both of us, because it saves at least an hour of time not having to order, wait for the order, eating, and then paying for the food. We got there in time to have dinner with Dad. Yeah! We had a wonderful evening. Dad was upbeat and it was wonderful.
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.
I sure wasn't the same yesterday, today and forever! I was running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I was frantic, at times, and lethargic and irritable at others. I didn't think I felt that way,..............................but I was wrong!!!!
Fortunately for me, no matter how much I was trying to mask the pain of my Dad's death it was slowly creeping up and I had modeled how out of control I really was. I am so very glad that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. Hebrews 13:8 He's the one I needed to lean on. I couldn't lean on through all of this and He never deserted me! Additionally, he made my husband so understanding through all of this. He was an immense help!
Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse/s. Debbie
Caregiving Tips Video:
Remember to discuss these video tips with a physician before implementing any of these!
The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother. Proverbs 10:1 Periodically on our trip out of state to see family, I would recall the head nurse saying that she didn't think that Dad's going to bounce back from his continued loss of weight and wanting to stay in bed more. A couple of times during the trip, I was reminded of the the smoking table in Dad's room that was filled with cards from loved ones and magazines. The stack was almost three feet tall. I dreaded the idea that some day when Dad passed, I would have to go through all of the letters from loved ones. I felt like it would just add salt to the open wound I knew I might have when Dad passes, making me feel the added pain of all those other family members that care for him, as well. Well, God gave me an idea that worked. On our way back home after the trip, we stopped to see Dad. I asked him if he'd like me to sort through all the cards, letters, and magazines in that three foot stack under his smoking stand, so he has room for more. Fortunately, Dad told me yes. It was such a relief to sort through all of that now, rather than some day in the future, hopefully a long time from now, but it's in God's very capable hands.